Straight Outta Quor Toth
by JPC
Summary: Connor flees sunless, vampire-infested LA for the comparative safety of the Hellmouth. Naturally, he has no idea what he's gotten himself into.
1. Slayerish Boy

This story begins when LA is dark and Angel has lost his soul. After Angelus gets free, Connor decides he's had enough of the vampire hordes and leaves the city. He heads to Cordy's home town, and arrives just after the "Potential" episode.

[A graveyard in Sunnydale. Spike has on his vampire face, and is holding Vi from behind. Kennedy, Molly, Rona and Amanda watch as Buffy lectures them about how they should never forget that it is the vampire who has the power. Out of nowhere, Connor arrives and attacks Spike from the left. He punches and kicks Spike in the face. Spike lets go of Vi, who runs back over to the other Potentials. Connor lands a flying right spin kick. Spike faces Connor.]

SPIKE: You haven't a bloody clue what you've gotten yourself into, little boy.

CONNOR: I know what I'm fighting. [kicks Spike in the stomach, punches him in the chin.] Do you? [Connor charges Spike. Spike grabs him and throws him 20 feet through the air. Connor tumbles to the ground but quickly gets back on his feet. Buffy is amused. Nothing like seeing a boy in way over his head get put in his place.]

SPIKE: What is your bleeding problem, kid?

CONNOR: My problem is you're a vampire. But you won't be one for much longer. [Buffy laughs at the boy's idle boasts. He charges Spike, does a forward flip in mid-air, and kicks Spike in the head.]

SPIKE: I sure didn't see that coming. [Connor tries a right spin kick. Spike, realizing this boy's for real, ducks. Connor throws a right punch, which Spike blocks. He throws a left, which Spike also blocks. Spike tosses Connor over his shoulder. Connor flies through the air until his back slams hard into the wall of a mausoleum. He realizes this vamp's for real.]

CONNOR: You fight like my father.

BUFFY: So you were abused as a child. That would help explain the seething rage.

CONNOR: Why don't you help me kill him? He's a vampire!

BUFFY: He's a different kind of vampire.

CONNOR: Let me guess. He's a vampire with a soul. [Connor's least favorite kind of vampire.]

SPIKE: Lucky guess. [The Potentials move towards the mystery guy.]

VI: Was that part of the demonstration? Should we be taking notes? [Connor glances over at the five teenage girls. He forgets about the white-haired vamp and his blonde human protector.]

MOLLY: Is he a Boy Slayer?

BUFFY: [laughs] There's no such thing as a — [laughs some more. Connor leaps 15 feet forward in a single hop, so he's face-to-face with his curious teenage female fans, who gasp at this super-human feat. Buffy's not laughing anymore.]

CONNOR: I'm Connor.

AMANDA: How long have you been fighting vampires?

CONNOR: Since I first saw one. I've fought demons as long as I can remember. Had to kill them just to survive.

RONA: Where did you learn all those cool moves? Can you teach us?

CONNOR: [mischievous half-smile] I could train you. Who's the small woman with the big mouth? [they laugh]

KENNEDY: That's Buffy. She's the Slayer. The top demon fighter. A legend.

CONNOR: Funny. Cause I've never heard of her. [walks over to Buffy] So you slay vampires. I used to live with two women who did that. They were a lot taller and prettier than you are. [what Cordy wouldn't give to see this moment.]

BUFFY: [scowling] What brings you to my town, Connor?

CONNOR: The peace and quiet. This is the safest place I've ever been. [Buffy thinks he's utterly clueless] I think I'm gonna like it here. Anyone up for some training? [Rona, Vi, Molly and Amanda look giddy.]

BUFFY: That's kind of what we were in the middle of. You can join in if you want. Maybe you'll learn a few things. [Connor laughs]

CONNOR: I didn't see training. All I saw was you doing a lot of talking.

BUFFY: It's called teaching.

CONNOR: You need to work on your speeches. You should have met my teachers. They could have taught you a few things. [compared to Angel and Holtz, Connor finds Buffy pretty uninspiring.] You're all welcome to come to my place. Just don't steal all the covers. [Molly, Rona, Vi and Amanda ditch Buffy to follow him.]

MOLLY: We'll be back in a bit. It's nice to get out of the house every now and then. [The five of them walk off, leaving Kennedy with Spike and Buffy.]

KENNEDY: "Don't steal all the covers?" Could that boy be any more shameless?

SPIKE: There's something very wrong with that kid.

BUFFY: I know. What the hell is his problem with me? Maybe he has a problem with powerful women.

SPIKE: I'm talking about his not-quite-human abilities.

BUFFY: You think he's a demon?

SPIKE: He's not. I can tell. The boy is human. The things he does aren't. [two vampires come from behind and snatch Kennedy. Buffy and Spike turn around and attack. The vamps let go of Kennedy and flee. Buffy and Spike chase them down and dust them. Meanwhile, Connor heads off in the other direction with 80% of the future Slayer line.

CONNOR: I don't get this Chosen One thing. You want to fight demons, you fight them. You don't wait for someone to tell you it's okay. And why does only one of you get to be Slayer at a time? Who came up with that dumb idea?

MOLLY: See, the thing is, there's the Slayer Line. You have to be part of the Slayer line to be powerful. And only one girl — [Connor puts his left index finger over Molly's mouth to shut her up.]

CONNOR: [whispers] Shhh. Something's coming. [Six Bringers jump out from their hiding spots and descend on the Potentials, who are terrified. They've been waiting for a moment when the Slayer wouldn't be around to protect them. Connor smiles. He walks out towards them, eager for a fight. Two of them throw knives at him. He catches one in his left hand, one in his right. He tosses them back. One Bringer is hit in the eye, the other in the neck. They both fall dead. Connor pulls out his small double-headed ax and charges two other Bringers. They each toss a knife at him. He parries the projectiles with his ax. Then he descends on these two Bringers, chopping and slicing them with a fury and dexterity the Potentials have never seen before. When he's done, each Bringer is in nearly a dozen pieces. Amanda smiles. Vi's sickened. Molly and Rona are a little frightened.

[The other two Bringers turn and run away. Connor tosses his ax, striking one of them in the back of the head. The other Bringer is fast and had a big head start. He thinks he'll escape without too much trouble. Next thing he knows, Connor's standing right in front of him. He takes out his daggers, tosses them to the ground, and raises his hands in the air.]

RONA: What's going on?

AMANDA: I think he's trying to surrender.

MOLLY: I've never seen a Bringer do that before.

BRINGER: I think you're on the wrong side. [Connor reaches his hands out and snaps the Bringer's neck, killing him instantly.]

CONNOR: I wonder if I'll ever get tired of this? Probably not. [he pulls his ax out of the other Bringer's skull and walks back to the Potentials. Buffy, Spike and Kennedy have just arrived.]

BUFFY: What happened? Were you attacked? Did that kid try to hurt you?

RONA: There were six Bringers —

MOLLY: And Connor killed all of them. On his own.

BUFFY: You sure these were Bringers?

SPIKE: [walks over to Connor's first two victims] Looks like it to me.

KENNEDY: [examining Connor's dismemberment of his third and fourth victims] Now THIS is what I call Slaying. It's like a human jigsaw puzzle. [Connor returns to his damsels]

CONNOR: [to Buffy] You missed all the fun. They weren't too tough. It's been a long time since I fought something that weak.

RONA: How did you do that thing where you caught those knives? That was awesome!

CONNOR: It's just timing. Here, I'll show you. [Hands his ax to Buffy, walks 15 feet away] Throw that at me, hard as you can.

BUFFY: You really don't want me to do that.

CONNOR: Okay. I don't want to embarrass you. If you're not strong enough to throw it all the way here, I understand. [Buffy hurls the ax out of anger at high speed. Connor grabs it right out of the air. The Potentials gasp. Spike's mystified.] Want me to toss it back?

BUFFY: I don't do parlor tricks.

CONNOR: [condescendingly] I understand.

SPIKE: [trying to change the subject before something ugly happens] So Connor, you said you had a place. Where in town are you staying?

CONNOR: I found a house. Stone and glass. High ceilings. Garden in the courtyard. Kind of like where my dad lives, but gloomier. And here's the funny part. There's a stone statue of a demon inside. With two swords sticking out of its chest. I think "Cool, free weapons." Try to pull them out. But they're stuck in real good. Finally, I get one out. But the other won't budge. Then my hand slips, and I cut it on the blade. It comes out real easy. But I look at the swords. The blades are really thin. They both look too flimsy to kill any tough demons. So I decide to put them back. Then I notice there's like this hole in the center of the statue. What's up with that! I put the swords back, the hole disappears. Then I pick the statue up, put it on the porch. Decided it looked better out front. Why aren't you two laughing? Isn't that funny? [Connor heads off with the four girls.]

BUFFY: No. That can't be possible.

SPIKE: Did that boy say he opened and closed Acathla?

BUFFY: Trust me. That's not how you close it.

SPIKE: I didn't know anybody's blood could do the trick.

BUFFY: We need to get that thing somewhere safe.

SPIKE: He sounded like he was done playing with that toy.

BUFFY: Now that he's got my Potentials to play with.

SPIKE: Buffy, they wouldn't. Certainly not all together. If he took one of them, I'd be worried.

BUFFY: Maybe there's safety in numbers.

KENNEDY: Shouldn't we tell Giles about Slayer Boy?

BUFFY: That boy is NOT a Slayer!

KENNEDY: He's obviously something special.

SPIKE: She's right. We better tell Rupert. Especially since Slayer-ish Boy has taken off with four of his girls.

[Buffy's living room. Willow sits on the couch. Kennedy sits to her right, with her left arm around Willow. Giles sits on the chair opposite the couch. Buffy's standing in front of the fireplace. Spike stands just inside the double doors which separate the living room from the hallway. Dawn's upstairs. Andrew sits on the far side of the living room, near the kitchen.]

GILES: You're telling me a human teenage boy single-handedly dispatched six Bringers?

SPIKE: Slaughtered would be the proper word.

GILES: What weapons did he have?

KENNEDY: He had a little ax.

SPIKE: I checked the corpses. He only used it on three of them. Two were killed with their own knives. The other one got his neck snapped.

GILES: Did the young man display any special powers?

SPIKE: He was about as strong as an average vampire. Not as strong as a Slayer. But it wasn't just the strength. He doesn't seem to be very familiar with gravity. And his reflexes were like nothing I've ever seen.

KENNEDY: Like when he caught the ax Buffy threw at him. [Giles and Willow look at Buffy suspiciously]

BUFFY: He asked me to. Practically begged me. Boy's a total show-off.

GILES: What did he look like? Size, build.

BUFFY: A little shorter than Spike. Really scrawny.

KENNEDY: Dark, floppy hair. Big bambi eyes. Kinda cute.

WILLOW: You thought he was cute?

KENNEDY: I mean, for a guy.

GILES: You claim to know where this Connor is. I say we go there and try to find out what he is.

ANDREW: Maybe he's a superhero. With a secret identity. We need to search for the source of his powers. Radiation? Genetic experiments? Or his parents could also be superheros! Wait, can I come?

BUFFY: No.

ANDREW: You know what can happen when you leave me alone.

BUFFY: Then go upstairs and hang out with Dawn. She tolerates you better than any of us. Except Xander.

ANDREW: Why hasn't he come over tonight? He was gonna help me with the Babylon 5 story I'm writing. [Everyone else leaves. Andrew pouts and turns on the television.]

WILLOW: You thought Connor was sexy?

KENNEDY: I didn't say sexy. Why are you acting so paranoid? Just because I've been out since pre-school doesn't mean I can't tell the difference between an ugly guy and a non-ugly guy.

WILLOW: But you didn't say he was non-ugly. [They get in the car. Giles drives. Buffy rides shotgun. Spike's in the back on the left, with Willow in the center and Kennedy on the right.]

KENNEDY: Come on, Willow. You know this is nuts. [runs her left hand through Willow's hair. Willow realizes she was overreacting. She smiles. They gaze into each other's eyes. Kennedy reaches across to put her right hand on Willow's leg.

SPIKE: Hey. That's my leg.

KENNEDY: Sorry. [shudders. moves hand.]

[They arrive at the mansion]

GILES: I don't understand how such a nice house can sit vacant all these years.

SPIKE: Absentee landlord. Owner lives in Europe, almost never visits. Angelus checked it all out. He's very anal when it comes to real estate.

GILES: There's our old friend Acathla. Refreshingly dormant.

WILLOW: Does anyone else find it creepy that he's living in Angel's old place?

BUFFY: It would be creepier if he lived in Dracula's old castle.

WILLOW: That's true.

SPIKE: Or the factory.

WILLOW: Are there any abandoned buildings in this town we don't have a disturbing personal connection to?

GILES: I doubt it. [the five of them enter. Connor and the other four Potentials are in the large central hall training and going over weapons.

CONNOR: Mace is useless against vampires. Never seen anyone hurt a demon with a flail. I knew a girl [Fred] who was good with the crossbow. But I like throwing rather than shooting. [Tosses a stake to his right without even looking. It zooms towards Spike's chest. At the last minute Buffy reaches out and grabs it in midair.]

SPIKE: What the bloody hell was that for!?

CONNOR: Good thing you have her around to protect you. [Spike is not amused.] Rona, let's try that move again. [Connor charges her. She flips him to the ground, then kneels on top of him.]

RONA: Did I hurt you? I thought I might have hit you here. [puts hand under Connor's shirt.]

KENNEDY: [to Buffy] Wonder who she learned that from.

CONNOR: I'm fine. You can take your time and make sure if you want. But Molly looks impatient. I think it's her turn. I'll just show you the reversal. [tosses Rona behind him. Then helps her up.]

GILES: [who is not happy to see Connor getting pawed by his Potentials] You must be the lad everyone's talking about. I am Rupert Giles. Their Watcher.

CONNOR: You're the oldest. That means you're the leader.

GILES: That's how I like to think of it.

CONNOR: You're English.

GILES: Yes.

CONNOR: Like Molly. And everyone else is from here.

MOLLY: Spike's English.

CONNOR: Really? He doesn't sound like any English person I've ever met. [he's moved from dissing Buffy to dissing Spike] This place is getting crowded. I'm getting a lot of attention. Must be quite the curiosity.

GILES: Not in the least. In our struggle against the Primal Forces of Darkness, we appreciate all the help we can get. You appear to be a formidable warrior. I would be grateful if you decided to be a part of our team.

CONNOR: You mean your crew? Your demon dusting crew? [from three months of living with Gunn] Sounds like fun. What's the toughest thing you need killed round here?

BUFFY: I think you'll find plenty of demons to keep you busy. And if you're bored, you can go stand on top of the Hellmouth and wait for the next super-demon to rise.

CONNOR: What's a Hellmouth? Is that like a Hell Dimension?

GILES: You're familiar with Hell Dimensions?

CONNOR: I've heard people talk about them.

GILES: Interestingly enough, the Hellmouth is a sort of portal to a multiplicity of Hell Dimensions. If the portal were opened the world as we know it would cease to exist. Buffy's done a superb job of preventing that from happening. She's saved the world more times than we wish to remember. Yet even when closed, it is an epicenter of dark mystical energy, a veritable volcano of evil. It's our job to help Buffy contain that evil, and it's quite a demanding job to say the least.

CONNOR: Has it ever rained fire? Does the sun ever not come up in the morning?

WILLOW: That's quite an imagination you got there, little fella.

CONNOR: I wish. What's your name?

WILLOW: I'm Willow. Buffy's friend.

KENNEDY: She's a pretty powerful witch. Got some serious magical mojo working.

CONNOR: Magic. Like what? What can you do?

WILLOW: Well, there are spells. Protection spells. Locator spells. Helpful, non-lethal stuff like that.

CONNOR: Do don't do memory spells? The kind that go wrong and make everybody forget who they are and try to kill each other?

WILLOW: We didn't try to kill each other! Wait a sec. What are you talking about?

CONNOR: Some people I knew. One of them had amnesia.

WILLOW: And they tried a spell to recover the memories? Was there a bottle or an urn? Do you know which incantation they used? There's a Greek and a Latin, but the Greek is much more reliable.

GILES: You mean the Attic Greek or Aeolian Greek?

WILLOW: I didn't know there was an Aeolian Greek text! Where did you find it?

CONNOR: I came by after it had gone wrong and everyone was kind of nuts. When things were back to normal, they told me they all thought they were sixteen.

GILES: How odd. Your friends must have been real amateurs to botch the spell that badly.

BUFFY: Sounds to me like there's some Band Candy floating around out there.

CONNOR: Now we're gonna do that thing I told you about.

AMANDA: All right! I was getting a little impatient. [Connor goes into the next room. He comes out dragging a vampire by a chain tied around his neck.]

CONNOR: I thought they could use some practice. So I went out and grabbed this thing. Don't worry. If anything goes wrong — [he yanks on the chain, pulling the vampire to the ground. The vampire gets up.] See what I mean? [yanks it again, hurting the vampire.] Happy hunting.

WILLOW: Wish me nightmares.

BUFFY: Giles, shouldn't we put a stop to this freak show?

GILES: This isn't as unorthodox as it may look. Such training techniques used to be quite common. Ironically, the Council abandoned them because they didn't put the Slayers in sufficient danger, and therefore didn't teach them survival skills.

[Connor slackens the chain to let the vampire move. Rona takes first crack at it. She hits him with two left jabs to the face. He growls. She throws a right hook. He grabs her right arm and tosses her to the ground. Molly steps on up. She circles around, looking for an opening. She fakes a right punch to the face, then connects with left kicks to the stomach and chin. When she tries to follow up the attack he decks her with a left spin kick. Vi goes next. As you would expect, she looks scared and hesitates. The vampire senses her fear, lunges at her and throws a right cross. She moves left, avoids the punch, and hits the vampire with two lefts and a right. He throws a left hook. She blocks it, hits him in the mouth with a left jab, grabs the stake with her right hand and goes for the kill. The vampire grabs her right arm with both hands and stops the stake when it's about two inches from his heart. Then he tosses her into the mantle. Amanda waited till the end cause she thought all the other girls would whiff, though Vi's near-success gave her a little scare. She stares down the vamp.]

AMANDA: Connor, drop the leash. I like it better when they can squirm. [Finally, someone who scares even Connor. He decides to take the risk, since he's there if anything goes wrong. The vampire, elated at his new freedom, charges Amanda. She ducks down and sweeps his legs out from under him. Tripping the vampire up. He gets up, turns around, growls, and leaps at her. She steps out of the way, grabs him while he's still in midair, and uses his momentum to toss him to the ground. He rolls into the wall. She kicks him in the back, grabs him by the neck, and smashes his skull twice into the concrete floor. He rolls onto his back. She goes down to the ground and stakes him. Everyone's quiet for a few seconds.]

CONNOR: I like the thing you did with the floor. Wish I had thought of that. [Amanda smiles and blushes. She's glad she impressed Connor, since she figures her ordinary strategy of beating up boys she likes wouldn't work too well with him.]

GILES: Now Connor, I'm wondering where you learned that particular training technique?

CONNOR: Learned? I just thought of it. [he doesn't want to be forced to say anything about his past.]

BUFFY: Hope everyone enjoyed this little field trip, but it's late and we should be getting back.

MOLLY: [whining] But you have us packed in like bloody sardines. Can't some of us stay here?

RONA: We'll be safe in Connor's hands. He can protect us.

CONNOR: I'm going to set up traps on the windows and doors to catch anyone who tries to break in.

GILES: Really. What types of traps? Catch or kill?

CONNOR: Catch. Like animal traps. But with trip wires. I've found that dart-shooting booby traps are too easily disabled.

GILES: Quite right. So you've employed these defensive measures in the past?

CONNOR: I don't want to be killed in my sleep. Places I used to live are a lot more dangerous than this quiet town. Demon population here is pretty low.

GILES: You haven't been here very long, have you?

AMANDA: So can we stay? Connor can protect us. He killed six Bringers. The last one even tried to surrender to him.

GILES: What do you mean by surrender?

AMANDA: I mean he threw down his weapons and put his hands in the air. But Connor snapped his neck. It was really graceful. You have to teach me that motion.

CONNOR: It's easy. [demonstrates on Amanda] Right hand on the chin. Left hand on the back of the head. Pull with the left. Push with the right. Right foot comes forward with the right hand. [lets go, does the motion] Just remember to follow-through.

AMANDA: So can we?

WILLOW: Kill humans with your bare hands? Absolutely not.

AMANDA: No. Can we stay here?

RONA: What do you mean WE. I called it.

MOLLY: I called it first.

CONNOR: There's plenty of room upstairs for all of you.

BUFFY: But there's only two beds. I mean, I just assume there's not enough to go round.

VI: And there are enough at your house?

BUFFY: You're too young for Giles to allow you to spend the night alone with a boy. [Giles and Willow start snickering]

BUFFY: Especially in a strange house we know nothing about. [Giles and Willow struggle to contain their laughter]

GILES: Sorry. [stops laughing]

WILLOW: I mean, come on. [laughs at Buffy's hypocrisy for a few more seconds before Buffy's glaring causes her to stop.]

GILES: Connor, I appreciate your "chivalric" concern. But the Potentials must live with the Slayer. She and I are responsible for their safety. You are welcome to come by in the morning, young man. I'm very eager to train you, to hone your abundant natural gifts. But we must be going now.

CONNOR: It's okay. I'm used to being lonely. [tries out his sad doe-eyed look on the girls] It was really nice meeting all of you. [smiles at the Potentials.]

MOLLY: Bye Connor.

AMANDA: See you soon.

VI: Thanks for, you know, saving our lives.

RONA: Later Slayer Boy. [Buffy groans and rolls her eyes. Giles ushers the Potentials out the door. Connor's alone.]

CONNOR: Girls my age who fight demons. I love this town.

GILES: I will drive them home. You four can walk. Buffy, I'm sure you know the way. [Giles gets in the car. Amanda rides shotgun. Neither Molly nor Rona want to challenge her for the front seat. Buffy, Willow, Kennedy and Spike walk home. Kennedy and Willow hold hands.]

WILLOW: You were right. He is a cutie. All that pouting vulnerability. No wonder Giles is nervous.

BUFFY: He's not that good looking. Just some brat who pretends to brood. And trust me, he's not very good at it.

SPIKE: [derisively] After all, who knows more about dark brooding tortured souls than you?

BUFFY: And did you see how hot Giles was to become his Watcher? Am I the only one who can see through his overwrought adolescent angst? Kid's a poser.

KENNEDY: How do you suppose he faked all those super-moves?

BUFFY: So he's quick and a little acrobatic. Big deal.

WILLOW: I'm just glad he hasn't gotten his hands on Dawny.

SPIKE: [sarcastically] Wouldn't that be a nightmare. He's so much worse than Teen Vamp who tried to kill her or Jock Spell who nearly caused her to commit suicide.

BUFFY: You're not saying you think they should — ?

SPIKE: Course not. I don't fancy someone I care about dating anyone who tries to kill me.


	2. Just Like Faith

Connor shows up Buffy, meets Dawn and impresses Anya. Then Spike gets under his skin.]

Connor can't sleep. He's waiting for the sun to come up. It's been a while since he's seen that happen. He gathers some wood from the trees in the back yard and lights a fire in the fireplace. Then he checks out his new crib. He finds a pair of leather pants in the upstairs closet. He's worn animal skins plenty of times before, but these are shinier than what he's used to. He puts them up to his waist. They're way too big for him.

CONNOR: Guess a fat guy used to live here. [He's jumpy waiting for the sun to come back. So he heads out, looking for something to kill. After the sun rises, he goes to sleep happy.]

[Afternoon. Buffy's basement. The five Potentials are training. Buffy and Giles are lecturing about Sacred Duties and the Unbearable Profoundness of Slayerness. Dawn sits sullen near the bottom of the stairs. Connor walks down. He's less stealthy than normal because he's carrying a bag over his shoulder that clangs when he moves. Dawn looks up at the new arrival. She's blocking his path down the stairs and he almost steps on her legs.]

CONNOR: [looking down] Sorry.

DAWN: It's okay. Feel free to walk all over me any time you want. [she cringes when she realizes how lame that sounds. When Connor gets to the bottom of the stairs the other girls notice. They stop paying attention to Buffy and Giles, who soon stop talking.]

GILES: So you've come to train? Excellent. [he wants to see what this kid can do]

CONNOR: You know those funny-looking guys you saw me kill last night?

VI: You mean the Bringers?

CONNOR: After you left, I tracked down their hiding place. Killed a few more. 18, I think. Here are their knives. [dumps 36 daggers on the floor right in front of Buffy's feet. As if the little bastard hadn't already done enough to undermine her authority. The Potentials stand wide-eyed and open-mouthed in shock. Giles examines the daggers.]

GILES: [after taking a few deep breaths] These appear to be the genuine article. [He is reminded of when Hannibal's representatives dumped hundreds of gold rings from dead Roman centurions on the floor of the Carthaginian Senate after the Battle of Cannae.] Where did you find them? How did you find them?

CONNOR: [he tracked their scent, but he's too smart to say that] Followed their tracks back to where they started. Some hole in the ground. One exit to the sewers. One small opening out of the earth. I set a fire at the sewer exit so they couldn't escape. Then I went back up. When the smoke made them crawl on out, I bashed their heads one by one. Pretty easy kill. You were actually scared of those guys? [he smirks]

GILES: I had been endeavoring to discovery their hideouts. I assumed they were dispersed throughout the community.

CONNOR: There could be more. I killed, what, 24 last night? How many dozen have you killed?

KENNEDY: All of us put together?

MOLLY: At least one dozen.

RONA: But probably not two dozen.

AMANDA: That means Connor's killed more in one night than Buffy and the rest of us have during the past three months. Not bad. [smiles at him. Buffy's ready to bash the showboating brat's head into the basement concrete walls.]

CONNOR: Glad I could help. Have fun with your "training." [He walks upstairs and leaves.]

GILES: That young man could definitely be of some use. Perhaps you two should patrol together. You could show him the ropes.

BUFFY: Then I could use them to string him up.

GILES: Buffy, please. You have no reason to feel jealous.

BUFFY: Jealous? Because our homicidal helper did a good job of killing humans? I'd like to see how he does against a real demon. Oh wait, I have. Spike beat him up without even trying.

GILES: My point exactly. Then why do you act threatened every time you see him? [Amidst the clamor, Dawn's left. Like anyone noticed she was there to begin with. She runs down the street to catch up with Connor.]

DAWN: Hey wait up. I didn't get your name.

CONNOR: Connor.

DAWN: I'm Dawn.

CONNOR: I like Dawn. It's a lot better than darkness.

DAWN: [looks confused] Okay . . . How do you know Buffy?

CONNOR: Met her last night. Are you one of the girls she trains?

DAWN: [dejectedly] Not anymore. I'm just her sister.

CONNOR: I'm sorry. [laughs] We don't get to choose our families.

DAWN: And you don't know the half of it.

CONNOR: Why doesn't she train you like the others?

DAWN: I'm ordinary. No one chose me.

CONNOR: So?

DAWN: So I take it you're not familiar with the whole Slayer concept.

CONNOR: I'm familiar with slaying. Everyone I know slays. That's why I don't get Buffy. She acts like she's the only one. Maybe she is in this town. There's a word for that. I've heard it before. Now I remember. Big fish in a little pond. That's Buffy. [Cordy once told Connor that's what she had been in Sunnydale. Cordy never mentioned Buffy, so he assumes they didn't hang out. After all, Connor thinks Cordy's prettier and cooler and much more powerful.]

DAWN: What do you have against Buffy?

CONNOR: She doesn't get it. People don't CHOOSE to fight demons, or get CHOSEN to fight evil. Evil's everywhere. Vampires want to suck us dry and make this world a living hell. There is no choice. You fight or you die. You don't tell people who want to fight that they can't make a difference. What are they supposed to do, sit there and wait to be slaughtered?

DAWN: I know what you mean. I used to do that, wait for others to protect me. Then I tried to protect myself. Buffy encouraged me at first. Until the Potentials showed up. Then it was back to sitting and waiting.

CONNOR: You shouldn't let her hold you back. [grins] Go hunting with me tonight. For vampires.

DAWN: Uh. Okay. What time? Where do you want to meet? [she's assuming this is Connor's idea of a date.]

CONNOR: When the moon rises. Behind the noisy place people go at night.

DAWN: See you then. [Dawn goes home happy. Connor's lack of familiarity with clocks and street addresses poses a problem. She assumes he means the Bronze, and checks that night's moonrise time in the the paper. She makes a concerted effort to conceal her newfound giddiness from Buffy and everyone else.]

[Connor walks down Main Street, checking out a town he would call quaint and bucolic if he knew those words. Coming from downtown Los Angeles, he's never seen anything like this before. The buildings are tiny and low. The roads are narrow and not very crowded with cars. It's an alien environment, like a whole different dimension. Then he spots the remnants of the Magic Box. He's seen condemned buildings before. Finally, something familiar. He enters and looks around. It's dark. The windows are boarded up. Anya sees him and is startled.]

CONNOR: Sorry. You live here?

ANYA: No! What do you think I am?

CONNOR: So you're scavenging.

ANYA: For your information, this used to be my store. Before it was destroyed.

CONNOR: I'm sorry. Was it demons?

ANYA: I wish. Demons would have done a lot less damage. I don't want to go into it. Who are you? Why are you here? Are you looting?

CONNOR: I'm Connor. I was just looking around.

ANYA: Are you new in town?

CONNOR: Came here last night.

ANYA: You live with your parents?

CONNOR: My parents are monsters. I'm on my own.

ANYA: You're a runaway. A not-too-bad-looking runaway. Do you need a place to stay?

CONNOR: I have a house.

ANYA: How? Do you have a job?

CONNOR: I fight demons. Protect the helpless.

ANYA: And that pays well? From my experience, I've found it's not very remunerative.

CONNOR: I live off the land.

ANYA: You're resourceful. Self-reliant. And possibly also noble and heroic. A very rare combination. Are you doing anything right now? Would you like to go back to my place?

CONNOR: Cool. Let me help you with those boxes. [carries the stuff to Anya's car]

ANYA: You look even better in the light.

CONNOR: So do you. [Anya smiles]

[Buffy's in the living room with Willow and Xander]

BUFFY: Connor is evil.

WILLOW: Aren't we jumping the gun?

XANDER: Usually I like to meet people before I declare them to be agents of the Forces of Darkness.

BUFFY: Don't you find it suspicious how easily he killed all those Bringers?

WILLOW: So you've confirmed his story?

BUFFY: Giles found the spot and counted the bodies.

XANDER: Bringers are evil. This guy kills them. Isn't that good?

BUFFY: TOO good. The body count's way too high. 24 in a single night.

XANDER: I didn't even know there were that many Bringers in this town.

BUFFY: None of us did. The only way Connor could have known is if we were part of the First. It's an inside job. Connor does us a favor. Gains our trust. Becomes part of our team. Then he finishes off the Potentials.

XANDER: A Trojan Horse.

WILLOW: Don't you mean Fifth Column? No, he would be a Trojan Horse. Spike's a Fifth Column. As am I, hypothetically of course.

BUFFY: Did you see how eager he was to be alone with them? To have them spend the night at his place?

XANDER: Whoa! How old is this guy?

WILLOW: Kennedy's age. Though of course she's the only one who's immune to his charms.

BUFFY: Right now I wish more of the Potentials were lesbians.

XANDER: Which ones? [Xander starts thinking. Willow elbows him in the ribs.] I was joking! That sorta thing doesn't turn me on anymore. I'm gay, remember? At least in theory I am. So is Connor cute? Not that I'm interested.

BUFFY: He is evil. Which means he may actually be interested in you.

WILLOW: We don't know if he's evil. And yes, he's adorable.

BUFFY: I disagree. But the girls seem to find him dreamy. Which only proves my point. He seduces them so he can kill them.

XANDER: For once it's not happening to me.

BUFFY: We've seen this before. A new demon fighter comes to town. Impresses everybody. Makes me look uptight. Moves in on my territory. He's just like Faith. He's Faith with a penis.

XANDER: That just took me to a very bad place. Willow, I need a forgetting spell. Right now. Something to remove that image from my brain forever.

WILLOW: I'm with Xander. As metaphors go, that's disgusting to the point of being evil.

BUFFY: Only if you take it literally.

XANDER: Have you talked about this with Giles?

BUFFY: The metaphor?

XANDER: No!! God no! Whether this guy is evil.

BUFFY: Giles just wants to be his Watcher, make him part of the team.

WILLOW: Which is exactly what we should do. That way you can keep an eye on him. He's corporeal. Spike says he's human. He can fight. Let's use him.

XANDER: He's a teenager. He's new in town. Where's he living?

WILLOW: Remember that mansion on Crawford where Angel used to live?

XANDER: That settles it. I'm getting on board the Connor-is-evil train.

WILLOW: But you haven't even met him.

XANDER: He lives in a House of Evil. That's all I need to know.

BUFFY: Yes. It's creepy. Especially for me. But Angel was good most of the time he lived there.

XANDER: But he moved there when he was evil. As far as we know, only evil people move into that house.

WILLOW: Enough with the transference. He's not Angel.

BUFFY: You can say that again. Angel's a hottie.

WILLOW: Can we give the kid a chance? He fights vampires. He kills Bringers. He wants to help train the Potentials. Sure, he wants to do some other stuff to them. But that just proves he's a teenager. As for his choice of housing, it's vacant, it's spacious, it's available. End of story. It's good to be suspicious. But let's not get paranoid.

XANDER: Maybe that's what the First WANTS you to say.

WILLOW: Oh come on! You think I'm it's agent? You worked for months right on top of the Hellmouth. And don't think it tried to manipulate you? Let's face it, you've been brainwashed by lesser villains.

XANDER: Enough with the Dracula! That was more than two years ago.

BUFFY: Now both of you are acting paranoid. Let's calm down. We'll never defeat Connor unless we work together.

[Anya's apartment]

CONNOR: Nice place. Mine's bigger. But it has a lot less stuff.

ANYA: Thank you. I like my stuff. I worked very hard to accumulate it.

[A tall demon materializes inside Anya's apartment. Connor hits it twice in the face and hurls the demon into the wall.]

ANYA: No! No! Take him outside. Then you won't destroy my stuff. [Connor opens the door, grabs the demon, and tosses him into the hallway.] Thank you. For saving my life. And for defending my property. Hot diggity! Where did you learn those moves? [Connor kicks, punches and throws the demon up and down the hallway. When he's had his fun, he sends the demon face-first to the floor. Connor stomps on the back of the demon's neck with his right foot, severing the neck from the head. The demon's dead body vanishes. Anya runs out and hugs Connor. He smiles.] You are one hot little dynamo.

CONNOR: The demons in this town sure are easy to kill. How did he appear out of nowhere? [they go back inside Anya's place.]

ANYA: He teleported. Probably from another dimension.

CONNOR: Which one. Pylea or Quor Toth?

ANYA: Neither. And Quor Toth? Good God! I would hate to have something from there in my apartment.

CONNOR: You're right. He's not tough enough to be from Quor Toth.

ANYA: You seem pretty familiar with demon dimensions. [Connor thinks he's walked into a trap.]

CONNOR: I've heard stuff from people. [Anya hugs Connor again]

ANYA: You saved my life! How oh how can I ever repay you?

CONNOR: [still hugging Anya] Trust me. You already have.

ANYA: [finally lets go] You are so sweet! How old are you?

CONNOR: They tell me I'm 18.

ANYA: Goodie.

CONNOR: Why goodie?

ANYA: You're an adult. I'm an adult. And as consenting adults, we can do things together. Are you free tonight?

CONNOR: I'll see if I can swing on by.

ANYA: Thank you again for saving my life with your massive, unexplained strength and your astonishingly proficient fighting abilities.

[Buffy's house. 8:15 in the evening.]

DAWN: Buffy I'm going over to Kit's.

BUFFY: Okay.

DAWN: Don't worry. I'll be back by ten.

BUFFY: That's good. [Dawn leaves.]

[outside the Bronze. 8:30]

DAWN: Connor? Connor? [He's on the roof, surveying the vicinity. He leaps down to the ground right in front of Dawn. She's a bit startled.]

CONNOR: Thanks for dropping by.

DAWN: That's funny. Very ironic.

CONNOR: I - what?

DAWN: Never mind.

CONNOR: Ready to fight?

DAWN: [looks around. doesn't see anyone else] You?

CONNOR: Vampires.

DAWN: Oh. Right. Silly, stupid, clumsy me. [he starts walking. she follows.] Which cemetery did you have in mind?

CONNOR: Why would a vampire feed in a cemetery? They like live people.

DAWN: You must be new at this. Vampires rise from the grave. In a graveyard. They rise, we kill them.

CONNOR: Is that what Buffy does?

DAWN: On an almost nightly basis.

CONNOR: There must not be many vampires in Sunnydale.

DAWN: [confused] That all depends on what you mean by many.

[Connor grabs Dawn's left hand in his right hand and takes off. Two blocks up, a woman walking to her parked car is approached by two men. When Connor's a block away, they've reached her. Connor lets go of Dawn so he can get there in time. The taller vampire grabs the woman from behind and covers her mouth. The shorter one leans in to bite her. Connor grabs the shorter one and tosses him to the ground. He punches the taller one in the face. This vampire lets go of the woman, who tumbles to the ground in shock. He blocks Connor's next punch, grabs him, and shoves Connor's head threw the rear side window. Connor kicks him away and stands up. When both vampires charge him, he does a back flip and lands on the car's roof. He kicks the taller vampire twice in the face, leaps over the shorter one's head, and tries to hit him with a reverse kick. The shorter vamp ducks, kicks Connor in the stomach, then throws him to the sidewalk. He charges in rashly. Connor kicks him in the face, slams his head into a light pole, and stakes him. The taller vampire blind sides Connor and punches him. Connor blocks the next punch, lands two of his own, tosses the vamp into the wall, and stakes him. By now the terrified woman has crawled into her car and driven off. Dawn runs but gets there to late.]

DAWN: Sorry I couldn't help.

CONNOR: Maybe you can get the next one.

DAWN: Are you okay?

CONNOR: Sure. Let's go look for more.

DAWN: Your head went through a window.

CONNOR: Is it bleeding?

DAWN: No. Which is odd.

CONNOR: Then what are you worried about?

[11 the next morning. The Potentials are outside training with Kennedy. Buffy's at school. Andrew's baking. Spike is in the basement. Xander and WIllow are cleaning up the living room when Anya enters.]

XANDER: You're just in time for folding laundry.

ANYA: Giles really should spring for a cleaning lady.

WILLOW: You look a little flush.

ANYA: Okay, you forced it out of me. I had sex last night. [Xander drops the vacuum on his foot.]

XANDER: What? Who?

ANYA: He's new in town. Saved my life yesterday. Killed a demon with his bare hands. Really strong, and talk about stamina! Power and beauty in one tight little package.

WILLOW: A demon killer. You don't say. Is his name Connor?

ANYA: You know him!

XANDER: Son of a bitch! I hate this guy already!

WILLOW: We met him the night before last.

ANYA: Then you know what an absolute babe he is.

WILLOW: Do you mean babe as in young?

ANYA: You're one to talk. Connor's Kennedy's age. Sure, he's a novice. I was his second. And third, and forth and, well I lost count after that. His first was also an older woman, though I'm guessing she was frigid, considering how little he learned from her. And believe me, he's a very eager learner.

XANDER: You spend the night with a guy you just met?

ANYA: Does that surprise you?

XANDER: No. Sadly, it doesn't. I guess I wasn't ready for you to move on.

ANYA: You're jealous. I can tell. Just because he's better than you in bed is no reason to be jealous.

XANDER: What!?

ANYA: After all, you were better than Spike.

SPIKE: What!!!? [Spike runs up from basement.] Bollocks! [comes into living room] You have GOT to be bloody kidding.

XANDER: This day is starting to look up.

ANYA: I'm sorry Spike. You just didn't measure up.

WILLOW: And by measure up you mean – ?

ANYA: No. Not that. That would just be inappropriate for me to comment on.

WILLOW: So there's actually a topic even you won't discuss. I had no idea.

ANYA: I just meant Spike didn't satisfy me the way Xander did.

SPIKE: Is this your petty way of getting back at me for turning you down last week when we went out drinking?

ANYA: No. It's just the truth. The truth doesn't make you feel inferior, does it?

XANDER: I've never loved you as much as I do right now. Why didn't I marry you when I had the chance?

ANYA: Get back to me when you find the answer. Now if you'll excuse me, I fear my lusciously lickable new toy boy is getting lonely.

SPIKE: I was very drunk. I wasn't at my best. Give me another chance. [Anya walks to the front door] Oh cum on! [Anya opens door and leaves. Spike flees from the sunlight and walks back into the living room. Xander's smirking.] Say one word, and I put you in the bloody hospital. [he goes back downstairs.]

XANDER: Talk about your silver linings. Did you see Spike's face? 

[Anya returns home. Connor's on the couch, eating her food and watching television. She walks up from behind and runs her hand down his chest.]

ANYA: How's my champ? [Connor looks up and smiles. She kisses him.]

CONNOR: I think that was the best night of my life.

ANYA: What about this morning? You didn't like morning sex?

CONNOR: I meant the whole thing. Not like we got much rest. I'm heading home. For sleep.

ANYA: You mean the kind where you're alone and semi-conscious. I might try some of that myself. [Connor gets up]

CONNOR: Can we do this again sometime?

ANYA: How bout tonight?

CONNOR: [thinks this is too good to be true] I'm not dreaming, am I?

ANYA: Oh, that's sweet. You're not. I could pinch you if you want.

CONNOR: Why?

ANYA: Guess you don't know that one. You're a peculiar guy, Connor. But then I'm a peculiar girl. [kisses him. then he leaves. Anya lies on the bed, smiles, and sighs. She'd forgotten how good it felt to be oversexed.]

[Connor's never been a big sleeper. After a two-hour nap, he heads out to explore. Walking past the school, he hears all the chatter inside, and decides to see what's going on. He walks down the halls and sees hundreds of kids his own age. It's very crowded and very loud. He's a little disoriented. Super-hearing only makes it worse. And he keeps bumping into people walking the other way.]

AMANDA: Hey Connor! [he looks around to see who's calling his name] Hey Connor! [he sees Amanda at her locker, and walks over to this familiar face] It's me, Amanda.

CONNOR: I know.

AMANDA: I didn't know you were a student here?

CONNOR: I'm not.

AMANDA: So you're here cause this is the Hellmouth. Evil central. Have you met Principal Wood?

CONNOR: Who?

AMANDA: He run the school. And he's a demon fighter.

CONNOR: Cool.

AMANDA: Yeah. He's pretty cool.

CONNOR: Wanna kill demons?

AMANDA: Now?

CONNOR: Tonight. Sundown. We'll meet here.

AMANDA: Cool. I mean, great! I'd love to go out with you – killing demons, whatever.

CONNOR: Okay. See ya. [walks away]

AMANDA: Yeah. See ya. [smiles. she's psyched about her "date"]

[The hallways empty as the next period begins. Connor walks into the commons. It's empty, except for two jocks in white baseball caps at a table on the opposite side of the room who are dipping snuff and spitting into soda cans. Connor heads to the vending machines. He picks up the food vending machine and shakes it a few times. The two jocks can't quite believe their eyes. Connor puts the machine down and collects his food.]

WOOD: Never seen anyone do that before. [Connor looks at Wood. He's apprehensive, and thinks of fleeing with his junk food.] Are you a new student?

CONNOR: Uh, um, no.

WOOD: Then what are you doing here?

CONNOR: Foraging?

WOOD: [walks over to Connor] Foraging. That's a good one. Relax. I'm not going to turn you in for petty theft. [puts his hand against the sides of the machine] Just making sure that wasn't a trick. Ever seen those strongman competitions on ESPN? They got these guys who lift up things up heavy things like this. Except they're at least five times your size.

CONNOR: [growing suspicious] What do you want from me?

WOOD: I should introduce myself. My name's Robin Wood. I'm the Principal of Sunnydale High School.

CONNOR: Principal Wood. You're a demon fighter.

WOOD: [looks around] Let's continue this conversation back in my office. You can keep your ill-gotten plunder [they head down the hall. Wood doesn't say anything more until they're behind closed doors.]

CONNOR: Amanda said you were a demon fighter.

WOOD: Please, call me Robin. What should I call you?

CONNOR: Connor.

WOOD: Nice to meet you, Connor. So you know Amanda. Then you probably also know Buffy Summers.

CONNOR: I met Buffy. She talks a lot. And she protects a vampire named Spike. Wouldn't help me kill him.

WOOD: [eyes light up] You don't like Spike?

CONNOR: He's a vampire. He deserves to die.

WOOD: You sound like a real go-getter. I like that. Evil's getting pretty powerful in Sunnydale. The good guys need all the help they can get.

CONNOR: This place ain't so bad. I've seen a lot worse.

WOOD: Tough talk for someone so young. How long have you been fighting demons, Connor?

CONNOR: My whole life. Since my father taught me how.

WOOD: So it runs in the family.

CONNOR: [defensively] Not my real dad. My father. The man who raised me.

WOOD: I understand. [puts hand on Connor's shoulder] It was the same way with me. All alone in a scary world. And he took me in, taught me how to survive. Gave me purpose and direction.

CONNOR: [smiles] He must have been a good man. Is he dead?

WOOD: Three years ago. Throat cancer.

CONNOR: I lost mine last year.

WOOD: I'm sorry.

CONNOR: Why sorry? You didn't do it.

WOOD: You're an odd – I mean interesting – young man. I'm eager to find out how interesting. I work out in the gym each morning before school starts. Perhaps tomorrow you could join me.

CONNOR: Work out? Work what out?

WOOD: You know - exercise, training.

CONNOR: Training - with you. Okay.

WOOD: Meet me here early tomorrow.

CONNOR: Sunrise?

WOOD: An early riser. That's good.

CONNOR: I'll train you then. [leaves. Wood looks very puzzled. He walks across the hall to Buffy's office.]

BUFFY: Hi Principal Wood. I mean Robin. Something on your mind?

WOOD: I just met the strangest young man.

BUFFY: Did his name happen to be Connor?

WOOD: Did you get the impression that he's from another planet?

BUFFY: Planet jackass.

WOOD: No, he's a good kid. He just needs guidance.

BUFFY: And you want to do the guiding?

WOOD: If you don't mind.

BUFFY: Mind? I think it's just peachy. Feel free to guide him away from the Potential Slayers while you're at it.

WOOD: So Connor's quite the –

BUFFY: Distraction.

[Connor walks in through the back door. He carries the food he took from the vending machine in his knapsack. He sits down, starts eating a Ho-Ho, and puts his feet up on the kitchen table. Andrew walks in, slams his hand on the table.]

ANDREW: I just washed that, mister. No feet on the table. No feet on the furniture. And God help you if I find you without a coaster. [Connor shrugs and takes his feet off the table.] Thank you. [touches Connor in the shoulder] Just making sure you're not with the First. Who are you?

CONNOR: Connor.

ANDREW: [gasps] You're Connor! You're super-boy! Omigod. Omigod. This is so cool! [Connor looks at Andrew suspiciously. Molly comes into the kitchen.]

MOLLY: Connor!

CONNOR: It's Molly, right? Want something? [dumps his snacks on the table.]

MOLLY: You brought these for me? That is so kind. [takes one of the mini chocolate cakes.]

CONNOR: Who's this?

MOLLY: Andrew. He's our maid.

ANDREW: Excuse me!?

MOLLY: Sorry. Butler.

ANDREW: Thank you. I have my dignity.

MOLLY: We missed you last night.

CONNOR: [in a coldly calculated lie] I missed you too. Where did you hunt?

MOLLY: Hunt? Oh, you mean patrol. In the cemetery.

CONNOR: I hunt where the people are, so I can save them from the vampires. That's why I kill demons. To rescue people. Help the helpless. Try to make the world a better place. [borrowing Angel's lines to impress girls.]

RONA: Connor! When did you get here?

CONNOR: Hey Rona. Help yourself. There's plenty to go round. [at first Rona wonders whether he's talking about himself or the food.]

RONA: Whatchya been up to?

CONNOR: Nothing much. It's been boring without you girls around. [like Cordy said, he's getting good with the words, just like his dad.]

KENNEDY: Break time's over. What the hell is that junk you're eating? [Willow's at college. Xander's at work. Giles is upstairs contacting sources in England for information. Kennedy's training the Potentials outside.]

CONNOR: What's wrong with my food?

KENNEDY: You brought this? Figures. Not exactly the breakfast of champions.

CONNOR: Sometimes it is.

KENNEDY: Back to work. [Molly and Rona groan and go outside. Connor goes on the patio and watches. Vi sees him and nervously smiles. She thinks he's cute, but she also thinks he's scary. Kennedy leads them in synchronized fighting exercises. Connor's mystified. They're not fighting anything. Andrew comes out to quiz Connor.]

ANDREW: So is Connor your first of your last name?

CONNOR: It's my name.

ANDREW: One name. Very cool. Have you always had super powers, or were you once normal and then underwent a sudden metamorphosis?

CONNOR: I don't know what normal is. [he's getting annoyed with Andrew]

ANDREW: Okay, I'm sensing a deep wellspring of alienation. You must have had a very traumatic childhood. [Connor gives Andrew a suspicious look and leaps up onto the roof above the kitchen. Then he climbs onto the second story roof, where he can watch and not be disturbed by the funny-looking curious man. Andrew's jaw drops in shock.] The Force is very strong in that one.

[Connor sits at the top of the roof. He's still a bit tired from the previous night. And watching training which doesn't involve people hitting each other is boring to him. He rolls off the roof and lands in front of the house. He walks inside and heads on down to the basement. Connor lies back on Spike's cot, casually tossing the Bringer knives into the target Buffy set up on the back wall. Spike walks down the stairs.]

SPIKE: If cold steel's all you're tossing, I take it that means I'm safe.

CONNOR: Not in the mood to kill you right now. Too tired.

SPIKE: [laughs] So you think you can? Can't wait to teach you otherwise.

CONNOR: Is that a threat?

SPIKE: [sits down on the cot, next to Connor] It's a joke. You're not much for joking, are you Connor?

CONNOR: [sits up, faces Spike] You're a killer. What's funny about that?

SPIKE: I'm not asking you to laugh about the innocent people I've killed.

CONNOR: I don't see you suffering for those murders.

SPIKE: Would it make you happier if I crawled around on my knees whipping myself and crying out to the Heavens for forgiveness while people poured holy water on my wounds?

CONNOR: It would be a good start.

SPIKE: No, it would be a sodding waste of everyone's time. It wouldn't bring them back. It wouldn't undo to all the suffering I've caused.

CONNOR: When did you get it?

SPIKE: My soul? Last summer.

CONNOR: How long were you evil?

SPIKE: 120 years give-or-take.

CONNOR: How'd you get it? Who gave it to you?

SPIKE: I earned it. Fought for it.

CONNOR: You wanted it? Why?

SPIKE: To fight for justice and truth and humanity. I'm joking. It was for a girl.

CONNOR: Buffy?

SPIKE: Who else?

CONNOR: I could make you a list. Doesn't seem like she's worth the effort. Fighting for a girl, I get that. But Buffy?

SPIKE: I'm not first bloke to risk my life for that girl. I could make you a list if you want. It's a pretty long list. But it's easier to make a list of all the men who are immune to her charms. You'd be the only name on it.

CONNOR: I know, I'm special. Been told that a lot.

SPIKE: You're a snot-nosed kid who thinks he's invincible and refuses to listen to his elders. That's not unique. It's bloody common.

CONNOR: You think you know me?

SPIKE: I know enough. You've been around the block as many times as I have, you realize there's nothing new under the sun. Or the stars, in my case. You're an angry young man. You think the world is simple. Want to lash out and strike down your enemies. Get the girl. Get the girls. Probably prove something to the old man. Bloody common.

CONNOR: You're wrong.

SPIKE: I'm dead on. [picks up one of the knives, tosses it at the target, hits the bull's eye.] You got a lot to learn, kid.

CONNOR: Like how to kill you? [gets up and leaves. Buffy has come home. She's in the back yard training the Potentials. Connor can hear her from the basement. Connor's not big on seeing her. He slips out the front door and heads back to his place. Spike lies down to take a nap.]

SPIKE: Subtlety is not his strong suit. [falls asleep]


	3. Slayer in Cell Block F

[Amanda takes Connor to the Bronze, where she runs into a boy from school she likes. Back in LA, Gunn Wes and Fred get some help from Lindsey. There's also a peek inside Faith's life in prison]

Around sunset, Connor goes to the high school. He assumes Wood's office is his demon fighting headquarters, and therefore the place where he keeps his weapons. Wood's still in his office. Connor opens the door a crack and watches him for a few minutes. He sees the Principal polish a knife and put it away in his hidden weapons cabinet. Wood thinks he hears someone in the hall. He walks to the door. Connor crawls up and hides in the ceiling. Wood steps into the hallway, looks around, sees no one. He heads back into his office. Connor waits. He noticed the ample space between the ceiling and the upper floor when he walked through the school earlier in the afternoon, and quickly realized the stealthy possibilities. A few minutes later, Wood leaves and locks the door. Connor crawls over to the office, removes on of the ceiling panels, drops down, and puts the panel back. He opens up the hidden wall cabinet and likes what he sees. The knives are real nice. But Wood doesn't have as many large weapons as Angel. No halberds or poleaxes. Then again, those would be hard to conceal. The weapons are all spotless and highly-polished. To Connor, this means either Wood hasn't used them very often, or he's as obsessive as Gunn is about weapons care. Connor hates polishing. He looks over the arsenal and takes two scimitars, the two all-metal hatchets, a long sword and a short sword. He closes up the cabinet, puts the weapons in his knapsack, and walks out the door.

Amanda tells Buffy she's going to have dinner at her parents. They worry about her and like to see her once in a while. Her parents live about a mile away, so Buffy doesn't see anything wrong with this, so long as Amanda gets back early. Amanda goes to the school and meets Connor out front. She's a little nervous.

CONNOR: Ready for some fun?

AMANDA: You bet. Where do you want to go?

CONNOR: You know those caves near here? I think a lot of demons live in the caves.

AMANDA: A lot? Sounds like a little too much.

CONNOR: Don't worry. You'll be safe with me. [starts walking away, then turns around] You coming?

AMANDA: Sure. Okay. 

Amanda follows Connor. She's a little frightened. Connor can tell. He puts his right arm around her shoulders.

CONNOR: Relax. I planned ahead. Got plenty of weapons.

AMANDA: That's . . . comforting. [takes his arm off her] You do this sort of thing a lot?

CONNOR: Hunt? Not as much as I used to. But it's easy when you get them at home. No tracking. No pursuit. Fight them on your terms.

AMANDA: Did you go to school?

CONNOR: No.

AMANDA: That's what I thought. Where are you from?

CONNOR: Quiet. So I can hear them.

He hands her the long sword. Walks around amongst the caves. Amanda follows close behind, gripping the sword tight with both hands. She's worried about getting ambushed. After a little while Connor stops and puts down his knapsack.

AMANDA: [whispers] Did you find one?

CONNOR: A couple. [takes out the weapons.] Take what you want. [pulls out two one liter glass bottles filled with gasoline. Takes the lids off, puts in some newspaper.] Like what I did to the Bringers. Force em out. Just stand near the opening and hack. Real easy kills.

Connor smiles. He pulls out a lighter, ignites the paper, and walks into the cave carrying the two firebombs. About thirty feet in, he arrives at the lair. Sees two dragon-like demons with stubby lizard bodies and long necks extending eight feet in the air. Around them are six smaller demons. When they see Connor, the parents roar and the children shriek. The cries echo out of the cave and frighten Amanda. Connor tosses the Molatov Cocktails at the demons and runs away. Amanda sees Connor about one second after she hears the explosions. She's relieved.

AMANDA: You get em?

CONNOR: [laughs] I didn't know there were that many. [Amanda gasps. Connor picks up the two scimitars and spins them around in his hands. He stands in front of the cave entrance.] Get to the side.

Amanda stands to the left of the opening, clutching her sword above her head. The short sword and one of the hatchets hang from her belt. She's hyperventilating and in a cold sweat. Connor's knees are bent. He stares into the cave from ten feet away. Anticipating the carnage, he has a cocky half-grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye. Amanda hears the screams getting louder.

AMANDA: How many!? How many!!?

CONNOR: Two big ones. But they're hurt.

AMANDA: Won't that just make them angrier? 

The mother walks out, flames coming from her nose. Amanda's terrified. She thinks it's a fire-breathing dragon. Actually, it's a dragon on fire. The dragon waves her head side-to-side and roars. Amanda moves away and crouches down to the ground.

CONNOR: Remember me?

He charges in. The demon opens her massive jaws and tries to bite him with her long teeth. Connor slices off her lower jaw with one of his curved swords. Then he steps back for a minute to admire his dismemberment. She can't bite anyone. After taking in the hideous and hilarious image, he jams both scimitars in her eyes. Then he puts his two swords under her neck and slices it off. The dragon's body vanishes, to reveal her husband right behind her. He charges at the animal that killed his mate. Connor retreats a few steps. Amanda steps towards the demon from its left. Connor's mutilation of mommy dragon has given her a little courage. While Connor dodges the dragon's jaws. She slices through his neck at the base. When his body disappears, Connor see her and smiles. He picks up a hatchet and runs back to the entrance.

One of the babies has already gotten out and tries to flee. It looks like a very large iguana with a two-foot neck which it can maneuver with tremendous speed and dexterity. Amanda gets out of the way. Connor throws the ax at the base of its neck and kills it. Another demon scampers out. Connor slashes at it and takes off its tail. It turns its head back and tries to bite Connor. He slices off the demon's right ear and a chunk of its head above the right eye. Amanda runs up and sticks the demon with the short sword, pinning it to the ground. It flails and struggles in vain to get free. She finds this funny. So does Connor. While he's distracted, a third baby comes out and bites Connor in the left hamstring. He turns around and slashes furiously, dismembering the demon into about a half-dozen pieces. Amanda takes out her hatchet and cuts up the demon she's pinned to the ground. She looks at Connor.

AMANDA: Are you hurt?

CONNOR: No. Barely even bleeding. [he motions for her to come close] I think there were more. Let's go check. See how bad I blew them up.

He enters the cave. Amanda follows. He's gotten her blood lust flowing. In the back of the lair, they find three badly-burned and disabled demons. Their legs are either singed off or useless. The skin's been completely burnt off in places. They try to wail, but their voices are very weak.

CONNOR: Go ahead.

AMANDA: Kill them?

CONNOR: Put them out of their misery. [She gets close and hacks them apart with the long sword.] This is what you were afraid of? [she laughs. they walk out.]

AMANDA: That was awesome.

CONNOR: Told you. Wanna do one more?

AMANDA: [sarcastically] Just one? [Connor puts his weapons away.]

CONNOR: Let's go.

Connor grabs Amanda's left hand with his right hand and starts walking. Amanda's thrilled by what she perceives as a sign of affection. Her heart's all a-flutter.]

AMANDA: Are we looking for another cave?

CONNOR: Don't think we'll have to. Sounds like one of them's out in the open.

AMANDA: That sounds like a bad thing.

CONNOR: Only one. Shouldn't be too hard. I'll lead. You follow. Keep hidden behind the rocks.

Amanda's nervous about getting ambushed. Connor's complete and utter lack of fear and his gonzo carelessness is absolutely terrifying. Soon he spots the demon. It's skinny and green. Not too tall. Looks like a pushover. It was the type of demon Trick used during Slayerfest 98 to try to kill Buffy. Connor does not know that it literally has a few tricks up its sleeve. Amanda spots the unintimidating-looking demon, and breathes a sigh of relief.

AMANDA: For a minute there, I was worried.

She takes out her long sword and waits for Connor to attack. He charges the demon and punches it in the face. The demon backs up two steps and pulls two long knives out of its forearms. Connor's eyes get really big, and he gasps. He's seen a lot of demons. He's never seen any who could do that. Confident of an easy kill, he wasn't even carrying any weapons. The demon slashes at Connor, causing him to retreat. He leaps onto a rock and kicks the demon in the head. The demon slashes for his ankles, and Connor leaps down to the ground. The demon kicks Connor in the head. He falls down. Now the demon focuses on Amanda. She holds her sword up in front of her body. The demon throws a knife at her throat. She is paralyzed with fear. Fortunately, the knife deflects off her sword. She is incredibly relieved. Connor tackles the demon, trying to wrestle away the other knife. Amanda grabs one of their hatchets.

AMANDA: Connor! Catch!

He looks up, reaches out his left hand, and catches the ax. He uses it to parry the demon's knife thrust, and then drives the ax into the demon's chest. The demon throws Connor off of him, gets up and kicked Connor in the head. Amanda rushes over to help. The demon looks at his dagger, looks at her long sword, and realizes size does matter. As she swings for his head, he retreats. He raises his right arm to throw his second knife and her, but Connor grabs the arm just in time to make the knife miss its mark. Then he races back to the other weapons and retrieves his two scimitars. Amanda slashes the demon's left shoulder, but is having trouble finishing it off. The demon manages to grab her arms, and the sword falls to the ground. The demon punches Amanda and she goes down. Just then Connor leaps in from out of nowhere. While in mid-air, he puts the two swords to the back of the demon's neck and decapitates it. It falls to the ground and melts away, as do the knives, much to Connor's disappointment. He wanted to use them himself. Connor reaches his hand down to Amanda and helps her to her feet. Out of a combination of relief, exhilaration, gratitude and physical attraction, she hugs him tight.

AMANDA: That was little close for while there.

CONNOR: Never seen one who could do that. [Amanda lets go, deciding not to push her luck] You did pretty good.

AMANDA: Thanks. Wanna go to the Bronze? I got like half an hour before I need to be back, and we've done the demon killing, so I was thinking —

CONNOR: Sure. I've been wondering what's in that place. Is it a demon bar?

AMANDA: Uh, no.

CONNOR: So it's mostly humans and only a few demons?

AMANDA: No demons. Why would you think there'd be demons?

CONNOR: So the nice demons don't hang out with people around here? [he's not used to human-demon segregation]

AMANDA: There are nice demons? [she wasn't yet a Potential when the girls met Clem]

CONNOR: A few. And they give you information. They're always telling jokes. Making you laugh so you won't kill them.

[Buffy's kitchen]

BUFFY: Is it just me, or is Spike more surly today than usual?

ANYA: It's probably because I told him Xander was better in bed.

BUFFY: [starts laughing] You were joking, right?

ANYA: Don't get me wrong. He's firm and tight and very pleasing to the eyes and the hands. Spike was good, I guess. But he didn't live up to my expectations. He wasn't nearly as good as Xander. Spike just didn't make me feel the earth move.

BUFFY: Xander made you feel the earth move?

ANYA: Once or twice I think there may have been some actual seismic activity. We are on a major fault line. But the rest of the time I know that it wasn't two tectonic plates rubbing together. It was —

BUFFY: Let me get this straight. Spike didn't live up to your standards?

ANYA: He didn't live up to Xander.

Buffy ponders the idea of Xander Harris, Love Machine, and bursts out laughing.

BUFFY: That was a good one. You had me for a moment.

ANYA: Why can't you accept that I'm being literal? I'm always literal. [Xander enters]

XANDER: What are you two lovely ladies talking about?

ANYA: Buffy refuses to recognize your sexual prowess.

XANDER: [more than a little stunned] And pray tell me, what do you mean by recognize?

ANYA: I told her you were better than Spike. [Xander smiles, looks proud]

XANDER: A lady is entitled to her informed, objective opinion.

BUFFY: Okay. Now I get it. You're doing this to flatter Xander.

ANYA: Why would I want to flatter Xander? He's the insensitive dirtbag who ruined my life. [Anya takes Buffy into the dining room. She thinks she knows what's going on] Was Spike really THAT good?

BUFFY: I am not having this conversation.

ANYA: Or is your estimation of Xander THAT low? After all, you are the only non-lesbian woman he's known who hasn't fallen for him.

BUFFY: [thinks that over for a second] Oh God, you're right. But that's not the reason. It's just, well, impossible.

ANYA: So he was that good. Guess he had to be to overcome your whole soulless evil prejudice. That means he was holding back with me. He was tanking! That is so insulting. [goes down to the basement to talk to Spike]

[Amanda and Connor are drinking sodas at the Bronze]

CONNOR: You come here a lot?

AMANDA: There's no other place to go.

PRESTON: Hey Amanda.

AMANDA: Preston! This is a surprise.

PRESTON: I know. You said your parents wouldn't let you go out tonight. [gives Connor a suspicious glance. Preston is a classmate Amanda likes. He's tall and gangly, with a skinny neck and a narrow, bony face with a large nose and prominent chin. He has short black hair and brown eyes.]

AMANDA: That was true at the time. But then I finished my history paper, so they said I could stay out till nine. I didn't know if you'd be out that early, so I didn't call. Sorry.

PRESTON: Who's this?

AMANDA: This is Connor. I met him at Model UN last November. He goes to Oceanside High. And I just happened to see him here, so we got to talking. You know, about Model UN. Right Connor?

CONNOR: Sure. Nice to meet you.

PRESTON: I was at that conference. I don't remember you. What committee were you in?

AMANDA: ICJ. [answers quickly before Connor can say anything incriminating]

PRESTON: Really. What country?

CONNOR: England.

PRESTON: Spring Valley was UK.

AMANDA: They switched. Spring Valley didn't have someone in ICJ, so Connor took the case. You know how things are in ICJ.

PRESTON: Whatever. See you in school tomorrow. Have fun with Connor. [walks away. Connor has absolutely no idea what they were talking about]

AMANDA: I'm sorry about that. He's a guy from school.

CONNOR: Does he like you? [Connor can spot jealousy]

AMANDA: He might. I don't know. Probably. Maybe not. It's complicated.

CONNOR: Do you like him?

AMANDA: Sorta. Well, yeah.

CONNOR: That's not complicated.

AMANDA: Yes it is. See, we've been friends for a couple years, and, you know, you don't want to ruin something like that. Plus, I thought he was gonna ask me to Winter Formals, but instead he went with Dara, so I'm not even sure how he feels about me right now. It's funny how everything's black and white with you, Connor. Life must have been simpler where you came from.

[Gunn and Fred patrol the streets, fighting off the vampires as best they can. Gunn uses his flame thrower to incinerate any demons who get close to him. Fred picks off the ones who run away with her crossbow.]

GUNN: Any word on Destroyer Boy?

FRED: Nothing.

GUNN: Not like him to keep such a low profile.

FRED: Charles, behind you! [Fred dusts he vamp with with her crossbow] Got it. He's been through a lot. Losing Angel. Then Cordy.

GUNN: I knew she didn't come back right.

FRED: Connor likes to alone.

GUNN: Just like daddy. [sets two vamps on fire]

Nearby, Wesley fights alone. He dusts two vamps with wooden darts shot from his wrist band. Then his collapsible sword shoots out. He slashes at the two remaining vampires. After taking a few blows, he gets one. The other one knocks Wes flat on his face. He gets up, spins around, and beheads the vampire. The sword recedes back into his wristband. He walks over to Gunn and Fred. He's got a bloody lip, a small cut over his right eye, and a larger cut on his left cheek. His stubble is thicker than usual. Gunn and Fred are also a little battered.

WES: We're barely treading water.

GUNN: Things have been worse.

FRED: We're makin' progress. The vamps are scared. We're drivin' em back underground.

WES: They appear to be surfacing.

The trio stands at an intersection. They see eight vamps in front of them, six behind them, three to the left, and five to the right.

GUNN: I'll keep em back.

Charles sprays his flame thrower back and forth. Then they hear the rotors of a helicopter descending right down on top of them. When it gets within 30 feet of the ground, the vampires flee from the noise. Fred, Gunn and Wesley move back. The helicopter lands. A man walks out. He wears a dark suit and a white, open-necked oxford shirt.

Lindsey: Looks like you could use a little help.

WES: Lindsey? Lindsey McDonald? Is that you?

LINDSEY: I'm not the one who's changed. Look at yourself. Like a Mad Max makeover or something.

GUNN: Nice chopper. Guess it really pays to be evil.

FRED: He's evil? Who is he? Who are you?

LINDSEY: [shakes Fred's hand, smiles and gazes at her with his big blue eyes] I don't think I've had the pleasure of meeting you. I'm Lindsey McDonald. And I'm one of the good guys.

FRED: Winifred Burkle. Call me Fred.

Fred smiles and blushes. Gunn and Wes are fuming. It was tough enough fighting each other for Fred's affections. Now they had to worry about a pretty boy who may have once been evil, but who never slept with Lilah and probably never killed a man with his bare hands. How cruelly ironic that from Fred's point of view a former leader at Wolfram & Hart carried less moral baggage than either of them.

WES: He used to work for Wolfram & Hart. Lilah reported to him.

Fred lets go of Lindsey's hand and takes a step back.

LINDSEY: That's not true. Technically, I was the senior associate, but we both reported to the same partner. I wasn't proud of the work I did for them. Just a poor kid from the Mississippi Delta who wanted to strike it rich and got caught up with the wrong people. I left the firm nearly two years ago to start over. Since then I've been trying to redeem my soul.

WES: And how precisely are you going about making restitution for your numerous and grievous crimes?

LINDSEY: I'm here, aren't I? Right now, I don't think any of us can afford the luxury of dwelling on the past.

GUNN: How ya gonna help us? You never were much of a fighter.

LINDSEY: You need am army. And I've brought you one. Get in the chopper and I'll take you to them.

WES: Take us to whom?

LINDSEY: 40 heavily-armed demon fighters who'll do whatever you tell them. I'll explain on the way.

Gunn, Wes and Fred go off to the side for a quick huddle.

WES: We can't trust him.

GUNN: Who can we trust at this point?

FRED: And we really do have literally nothing to lose.

GUNN: Plus, if he tries anything, we can take em.

WES: Yes. Either of us could. Easily.

They board the chopper. Lindsey explains what he's been up to.

LINDSEY: When I got home, I took out a loan and started up my own firm. We led a class action lawsuit against against a petrochemical company that had polluted this town on the Gulf, creating cancer clusters, birth defects, pretty awful stuff. After depositions and jury selection they settled for $300 million.

FRED: And don't the lawyers get a third of that?

LINDSEY: When you work on contingency it's usually 40%, but I lowered my fee to a third in this case.

WES: [sarcastically] Left a few crumbs on the table. That was mighty charitable of you.

GUNN: You made 100 mil off other people's suffering?

LINDSEY: I made sure they were well-compensated for their suffering. Without me, they would have gotten nothing. I'm not gonna waste time debating this. Just wanted to explain how I can afford the chopper. My firm also did some work for a company called Next Defense. They make demon fighting equipment for the U.S. military, among others.

FRED: What is there, some super-secret special ops group of men in black who run around dusting demons and taking them to secret underground laboratories to do experiments on them?

LINDSEY: They never were very super-secret. I became interested in working for the good guys. Had a lot of ideas from my tenure on the other side. Now I'm on their Board of Directors. The Wolfram & Hart connections were disturbingly helpful in landing foreign contracts. They sell soldiers as well as equipment. We hire fighters when they leave the military, and they go all over the world. Course the guys are working pro bono on this one. I talked the CEO into making a goodwill gesture.

FRED: But if the government knows about demons, and fights demons, why they letting LA get sucked dry?

LINDSEY: Posse Comitatus Law. Can't use American soldiers on American soil. As private contractors, we're free to operate wherever we please.

WES: By the way, how is your evil hand?

FRED: Evil hand?

GUNN: Angel cut off Lindsey's right hand.

WES: Back when Lindsey was evil and was obsessed with killing Angel.

GUNN: He got a new hand from an executed serial killer.

WES: It had a mind of its own. A mind of pure evil.

LINDSEY: That nasty side effect went away after a few months. I can assure you that currently none of my appendages are evil. We should be at Hughes Airport in a minute. That's where you'll meet your teams. By the way, care to tell me what brought this about?

[they explain while the helicopter lands and continue explaining while the four of them wait on the tarmac. Lindsey is understandably shocked by some of the details.]

LINDSEY: Darla has a son. Man, that's just, wow. And he's all grown up?

FRED: Physically, more or less. Mentally, not even close.

LINDSEY: Quor Toth could explain that. We used to send demons who betrayed the company to that dimension. He must have a lot of his mother's strength to survive that place. You can't find him?

GUNN: Not for the last couple nights.

LINDSEY: And he thinks Angel's his father?

FRED: Thinks!? What do you mean thinks?

[just then two very large cargo helicopters land nearby. When the rotors slow down enough for Lindsey's voice to be heard, he explains.]

LINDSEY: These come courtesy of the Corporation. [the cargo holds are lowered] As is the equipment. [four armoured humvees are driven out of the belly of each helicopter as Wes, Gunn and Fred look on in astonishment] The latest in slaying technology [he picks up an odd-looking grenade] This is a grenade where the charge has been lessened and the casing is made of wood. Shoots out thousands of splinters which kill all vampires in a ten foot radius. Can be thrown by hand or shot out of this launcher on the back of the vehicle, which has a range of 100 yards. These things are small napalm canisters. Ignite on contact and incinerate the target in seconds. Shot out of this tube, with a range of 200 yards. [holds up one of their guns] This is what the men use in close combat. Stuns the vampire into unconsciousness from as far as 20 feet away. The military doesn't expect its soldiers to fight vampires hand-to-hand. Which makes you guys are braver than their bravest. They'll look up to you for that reason. Alpha Company will be commanded by Charles Gunn. Bravo Company will take its orders from Wesley Wyndham Price. Charlie Company, you work for Winifred Burkle. Delta Company will for the moment be under my command. [he walks over to Wes, Gunn and Fred] You guys know where I can find Lorne?

GUNN: You must be tripping.

LINDSEY: He knows the terrain. All he has to do is point the men in the right direction, and they'll do their job.

WES: They'll take orders from a demon? A helpless, non-violent demon whom they could easily overpower?

LINDSEY: They take their orders from whomever I tell them to. Decide which neighborhoods each of you want to start in. The men do three hour patrols, followed by six hours off, and so on. You have them for four patrols. Twelve hours of fighting over a 30 hour period. Use them as best you can. I'm off to find Lorne. [they tell him where they belive Lorne is. Lindsey walks into the cargo helicopter, and drives out in his old red Ford pickup. Two humvees each filled with five soldiers follow him. Wes, Gunn and Fred are left to get acquainted with their ten-man teams.

GRAHAM: Charles Gunn?

GUNN: Call me Gunn.

GRAHAM: Call me Graham. I'm leading your team.

GUNN: [looks over his men] Three brothers. Not bad. That should come in handy when we hit my old hood. I have truck I use to fight vamps. I'm pretty proud of it, but — damn! We gonna do a lot a killin' with these wheels. 

Wesley draws like a man possessed on the maps his men have.

WES: I'm going to exploit your mobility to the utmost. Each car will maneuver independently. You paths will converge on this sector. You will obliterate anything undead that crosses your path. Those that run will be fleeing into a trap. [he pauses to look at the equipment] These infra-red vampire motion detectors are just tremendous. They should help immeasurably when you're searching individual buildings. Remember, only enter structures with three or more vampires inside. We have to be efficient. I will maintain constant radio contact. Both teams will now proceed to my headquarters. (he means his apartment) I will then operate between the two teams, right in the thick of it. I'll have my motorcycle, and can quickly come to the aid of either squad. When we are finished, the streets of this city will be covered with the ashes of our enemies. Move out.

Unlike Gunn and Wes, Fred doesn't let it go to her head. She feels a little odd about the dictatorial power she's been given.

FRED: So. Uh, men. Hi. I'm Fred. Um, you're going to kill vampires. I just have to figure out where. Got it! [she looks at the map and decides to focus on the neighborhood around her old college, since she knows that area well] That's where. Let's get rolling. Wait. Who am I riding with? Tony, you're the leader, so you take that vehicle. I'll go in the other one.

Along the way, a soldier named Curtis strikes up a conversation with her.

CURTIS: How did a nice, pretty girl like yourself get involved in demon hunting?

FRED: I was enslaved for five years in a demon dimension.

CURTIS: Is that like a joke, or code for something? 

FRED: I wish. You heard right. Slave cow in Pylea. Held captive by a primitive society of demon warriors. Like Sparta, but without the homoerotic male bonding. Humans were their Helots. Until there was this big huge revolt and the humans liberated themselves and I got rescued and taken home.

CURTIS: Kind of makes plebe year at the Academy sound like a vacation. So you're hardcore.

FRED: Excuse me! Hardcore what? I wasn't THAT kind of slave girl.

CURTIS: Sorry. I meant you must be really tough. To make it through all that.

Lorne sits alone in a dark one-room apartment, drinking gin straight from the bottle. Junk is strewn everywhere. His hair's a mess. His clothes are wrinkled and tattered. He's pretty much given up on life. He hears a knock at the door, and assumes it's trouble.

LORNE: If you're a vampire, you should know I'm a demon. Which means if you're looking for a meal you're wasting your time. So scram! [he looks through the peephole and sees an old familiar face. He looks again. Then a third time, just to make sure] Lindsey? Lindsey is it really you?

LINDSEY: It's me Lorne. Open up. I need your help.

LORNE: You need help. I need help. This whole town needs help. [pulls off the latch, undoes the two bolts, and opens the door. Lindsey looks stunned]

LINDSEY: What happened to you?

LORNE: The apocalypse. The Beast. Angelus. Cordy going all Linda Blair, without the laughs. Take a look outside. Everything's gone to Hell. Even your old comrades have bit the dust.

LINDSEY: I heard. Too bad about Lilah. Get yourself cleaned up. You're about to become a leader of men.

LORNE: Look snookums, if you're talking about a band, my voice is shot, I'm all out of practice, and I just don't have the heart for it anymore.

LINDSEY: Look out that window. See those two trucks. You're in charge of them, and the ten men they hold.

LORNE: Soldiers. Is this like a Village People thing?

LINDSEY: They're mercenaries. Vampire hunters. And for the next three hours they work for you. They go where you tell them to go.

LORNE: You're serious.

LINDSEY: Gunn, Fred and Wes each have teams of their own. Plan is for each of you to start with the neighborhoods you're most familiar with.

LORNE: So for me that would be Caritas. Ground zero for the big evil. Sing for me.

LINDSEY: Lorne, we don't have time.

LORNE: Just a couple bars. From anything.

Lindsey thinks for a few seconds, then comes up with something appropriate — the chorus to The Band's "It Makes No Difference."

LINDSEY: "And the sun don't shine anymore/ and the rain falls down on my door."

LORNE: Heavens to Betsy, how I've missed that sweet voice of yours. Plus now I know you're for real. Guess it's time for me to take back the night. What was that I heard about Faith?

Lindsey explains as they walk down to the soldiers.

LINDSEY: The Sunnydale PD made a number of procedural foul-ups. Tons of reversible error. Coulda got her off. Woulda if she stayed on our side. But when she went redemptrist, Wolfram cut her loose. Plus, she had inadequate representation while in custody. Actually, she had no representation. Plenty to spring her loose on appeal pending a new trial. My new firm's been working on it on and off. But the appellate courts move slowly. Her hearing's three weeks from now. It would sure be nice to have some Slayer muscle to back you guys up.

LORNE: Once she gets out she'll probably want back in. Prison's a lot safer than LA these days.

Maximum security women's prison out in the desert. Faith is fighting two demons who've been teleported into Cell Block F by the First to kill her. This is the sixth time in the last two weeks something's gotten in and attacked her.

FAITH: It's been three days. I don't like to be kept waiting.

Kicks one in the head. The other one comes at her from behind. She reaches back, grabs it, and flips the demon to the ground in front of her. Then she snaps its neck. The other one punches her in the face. She kicks it in the stomach. It leaps on top of her and tries to bite her. While she's on her back she snaps its neck. The two demon corpses melt away. Faith stands up. All the other prisoners are staring at her.

FAITH: Come on ladies. Nothin' ya ain't seen before.

They all turn away and pretend to get back to their business. Faith walks up to one particularly tough-looking woman.

CRISTAL: How ya feelin', Faith?

FAITH: Five by two.

Cristal looks terrified. Faith punches her in the jaw. She tumbles to the ground.

FAITH: What am I paying your gang for? Answer me! [She kicks Cristal in the mouth.] Answer me!!

CRISTAL: To protect you.

FAITH: That's right. But I didn't see no one protecting me. Did you?

Pulls her foot back as if she's going to kick Cristal in the face. Cristal flinches and puts up her arms for protection. Faith smiles. She just wanted to make sure Cristal was scared.

CRISTAL: They came too quick. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Faith kicks Cristal in the ribs. She groans in pain.

FAITH: You're not even close to sorry. You don't want to know what it feels like when I make you sorry. You better make this up to me Cris.

CRISTAL: We will. I promise.

FAITH: Don't promise. Do it.

Faith walks away in disgust. Cristal's friends help her to her feet. Faith goes back to her cell. It's the largest in the block. It was built for four, but she's got it all to herself. After showing the other girls that she was NOT to be trifled with, Faith said she wanted that particular cell, and the four women living in it left without making a fuss. She's got a rug, a television, a small stereo, and all sorts of other creature comforts. Bought with proceeds from protection money — Faith getting paid to protect prisoners from the other inmates — and extortion money — Faith getting paid to protect prisoners from herself. If it wasn't for the orange jumpsuit, you would assume she was the warden. Two inmates lightly tap on the bars.

FAITH: Grace and Elaine?

GRACE: You said you'd mediate.

FAITH: Step into my office.

Faith reclines on her bed. The two women sit down on chairs nearby. Faith reaches out her hand. They each give her a twenty for the privilege of having Faith settle their dispute.

FAITH: What seems to be the problem this time?

ELAINE: Grace's crew is sellin' in block C. That's our turf. They got block G.

FAITH: I know. Care to explain, Grace?

GRACE: You know G's smaller than C. Lot less customers.

FAITH: And you don't think that's fair.

GRACE: Damn straight. [Faith laughs]

FAITH: You think I care about what's fair? Elaine, you've been good to me. But so have you Grace. Tell you what I'll do. Grace, you stop pushing in C. However, I'll let you move in on Cristal's turf in B. She's lost her monopoly there. And if any of her girls give any of yours any trouble, tell them they can take it up with me.

ELAINE: Cool with me.

GRACE: Thanks Faith. I owe you.

FAITH: Two hundred. [reaches out her hand]

GRACE: Right now?

FAITH: By dinner. Now get out.

Grace and Elaine leave. Faith lies back and puts on her headphones. A few minutes later she falls asleep. In her dream, she and the Mayor are sitting next to one another on a desert island surrounded by endless blue seas.

MAYOR: I knew nothing could keep you down. You've turned into quite the leader. Maintaining order. Snuffing out chaos. Keeping all your neighbors in line. Almost like you're following in my footsteps.

FAITH: [smiling bashfully] It's hardly a fair fight.

MAYOR: I know, sweetie. You don't belong here. I blame myself. I should have done more, to save you. [gets choked up] Look, I don't mean to sound like my Aunt Maybell, but you've really made lemonade out of this lemon. But the picnic's ending.

He disappears. Faith turns around and sees a small snake slithering into its pit. She looks out and notices the water's gone. She gets up and starts to walk through the desolate Death Valley landscape. Faith looks up and sees a comet shoot across the bright blue sky. The dagger the Mayor bought her materializes in her right hand. She looks around and notices she's surrounded by six knife-wielding Bringers. She's seen them before, in dreams where they killed other women. The Bringers bear down, she prepares to fight them, but wakes up before that happens.


	4. Body and Soul

[Connor nearly gets killed by a vampire Spike sired 25 years ago. Faith gets sprung from prison. And Buffy has a very vivid dream about Angel.]

Buffy and Giles are preparing to take the Potentials out on patrol/training. Spike is also ready to go out. The Potentials, looking through the weapons chest in the living room, are still buzzing about Connor. Giles agrees with Kennedy that a Slayer should not live on the kind of junk food Connor seemed content to subsist on. Spike and Buffy stand in the front hallway.

SPIKE: Had a civilized chat with our Angry Young Man this afternoon. He threatened to kill me, but he was very polite about it.

BUFFY: Connor seems to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time. He hit the school today. Robin's very taken with him.

SPIKE: Principal Vengeance sounds like just the gent to tamp down Connor's seething rage. He'll learn to hate you a lot less, and hate me a lot more.

BUFFY: Robin doesn't hate you. He's just, you know, uneasy around you.

SPIKE: You're uneasy around me. Wood's downright contemptuous.

BUFFY: So he's a skeptic. Can you blame him? Give him time. You coming?

SPIKE: Fraid not. I plan to be ambushed tonight.

BUFFY: You say that like it's a good thing.

SPIKE: Three old mates. Talking big at Willy's last night. Clem gave me the head's up. They were trying to recruit other vamps into their lynch mob. Clem said they didn't get any takers.

BUFFY: That's good. Means the vamps in this town are afraid of you.

SPIKE: That's what I'd like to think. But chances are they're more afraid of you. Which is why I have to go solo. The sight of the Slayer would probably scare them away. Don't worry. They're nothing I can't handle.

Spike heads out and walks downtown. After making himself conspicuous, he retreats to a decent-sized alley, lights up a smoke and waits for the attack. They show up before he before he finishes his first cigarette.

SPIKE: Been a while, boys. Max, you cut your hair. I see you lost the nose ring, Syd. And Elton, you're looking non-threatening as always.

ELTON: It's Roland.

SPIKE: Sure it is Elton. And I'm Achilles. Never knew you three had a death wish.

SYD: Always knew you did,"

Syd stands in the center, Max to Spike's left, and Elton to Spike's right. Max pulls out a broad sword, Elton pulls out an aluminum baseball bat, and Syd pulls out a five foot long 2x4, sharpened at the end.

SPIKE: You brought an arsenal. I'm flattered.

Principal Wood had been tracking these vampires for a few blocks, waiting for the right time to take them on. Then he saw them prepare to take Spike on. He decides to watch and wait. With any luck, they'd kill Spike, he'd take one or two with him, and Robin would finish off the rest. Considering how heavily-armed they are, Wood is glad he didn't attack them on his own.

Spike stands three feet in front of Syd, waiting for them to make the first move. Syd tries to stake him with the 2x4. Spike dodges the thrust and grabs the stake. He hits Syd with its butt end, uses the weapon to block Max's sword slash, and then whacks Elton in the head before he can land a blow with his bat. Spike punches Syd with a right uppercut, and he flies back. Spike tosses the lumber into a dumpster at the other end of the alley, grabs Elton, and throws him into Max, knocking both of them to the ground. The cigarette still dangles between his lips. Spike inhales one last time as he walks over to Syd before tossing his smoke to the ground. Syd throws a right punch. Spike blocks it and slams Syd face-first into the wall.

SPIKE: I'm disappointed, Syd no-so-Vicious. Thought Elton would be the first to fall.

Spike stakes Syd in the back. Elton attacks from the front while Max comes at Spike from behind. Spike charges Elton, who swings for Spike's skull. Spike grabs the bat. Max swing for Spike's head from behind. Spike ducks and pushes Elton away. Max goes for the legs, but Spike jumps in the air and kicks Max in the face, knocking him on his back. Elton clubs Spike in the ribs. Spike turns around and throws a right hook. Elton dodges to his right and swings for the left side of Spike's face. Spike grabs the bat with his left hand and punches Elton twice in the stomach with his right. Spike kicks Elton away with his right foot, and takes the bat into his own hands. He turns around to face Maxwell, blocking the sword with his bat. The steel sword hitting the aluminum bat makes a funny ping sound which Spike finds undignified for a fight to the death. He bashes Max's left knee and turns around to finish off Elton, who backs away as Spike approached. Spike clobbers him twice in the head.

SPIKE: Don't know how you survived this long, Elton.

And with that he stakes him. Spike tosses the bat in the dumpster as proof of his confidence. Max comes at him, sword in hand.

SPIKE: Is that really necessary?

Max swings twice. Spike backs up and out of the way. Max tries to stab Spike in the stomach. Spike turns to the side to avoid the blow. Max tries an overhand blow. Spike ducks, moves to the side, and sweeps his legs out. When Max falls, Spike slams his right foot down on the blade, and kicks Max in the face with his left. He picks up the sword and brakes it over his knee before throwing both pieces in the dumpster.

SPIKE: That's better. This is how I wanted it. You and me. Fists and fangs. And with your flunkies out of the way, we can have finally have some fun.

Spike throws a right jab, which Max ducks. He throws a right hook, which Spike blocks, but lands a left jab to Spike's face. Spike smiles.

SPIKE: See what I mean?

He dances around, looking for an opening. Max does likewise. Spike throws a right, Max grabs him, and tosses him into the wall. Spike waits for Max to charge in. When he does, Spike hits him twice in the face. Max grabs Spike's arms and head-butts him. Spike knees Max in the stomach and pushes him away. Spike tries a right punch. When Max blocks it, Spike lands a right roundhouse kick. He hits Max with a left jab, blocks Max's counter-punch, and connects with a right hook. Max retreats and circles round. He tries a roundhouse kick. Spike blocks this attempt and lands a flying left roundhouse, knocking Max back in the wall. Then he moves in and stakes him. Spike walks over to the Bronze to kick back. Wood heads off for home. He's not ready to take Spike on. But at least this gave him the opportunity to scout Spike and learn his moves.

Anya's apartment. The lights are on. Things got going so fast she never had a chance to turn them off. Anya falls back onto the bed and tries to catch her breath.

ANYA: That was, vigorous. To put it mildly.

CONNOR: Just following your lead.

Connor is more than a little flush himself. He begins to get dressed.

ANYA: Why are you putting clothes on?

CONNOR: Going to kill something.

ANYA: Oh, right. Vampires. Does killing get you in the mood?

Connor had never thought about this.

CONNOR: I guess it does. Don't worry, I'll be back soon.

The Bronze. After drinking his beer, Spike walks around the club looking for vampires to kill. He hears a teenage girl's voice from behind.

ELEKTRA: Care for a dance, handsome?

SPIKE: You're a little young for my tastes.

Spike says this as he turns around. When he sees who it is, he stops talking. She is tall, statuesque even, with long light-brown hair and big blue eyes. For Spike, it is like seeing a ghost.

ELEKTRA: That wasn't always the case. 

Elektra sidles up next to him and grabs the lapels of his black leather jacket. 

ELEKTRA: Twenty five years ago this April. Mud Club. Talking Heads. Swept me off my feet during "Psycho Killer." Tasted me during "Heaven." You were wearing this same coat. Looks a little worse for wear after all these years. But you sure don't.

She places her hands on his chest, puts her lips two inches away from his, and smiles. Amidst all the guilt and revulsion and fear he is feeling, Spike tries his best to maintain his composure.

SPIKE: What brings you to these parts?

ELEKTRA: Ran into Max's boys in LA. It's like a vampire Woodstock up there. Hitched a ride with them. Just like old times. They hit on me. I beat them up. They stopped hassling. I'm only here for you, Spike. You know I'm an East coast girl. What brings you to the Left Coast? You always said you loathed Southern California. Something about the music being insipid and the women annoying.

SPIKE: Sunny D's a demon-friendly oasis in an otherwise barren wasteland of stuccoed, pastel-colored tackiness.

ELEKTRA: Oh, Spike. Don't try to lie to your own girl. Saw mummy in Montreal a few months back. She told me how you had gone all Angel. Funny, cause you ripped on him so much back in the day. Said you'd sooner die than suffer his sorry fate. Gosh. The irony would kill me if I wasn't already dead.

She reaches into Spike's jacket pocked, pulls out his stake, places it in his right hand, and guides it to her heart. She puts her arms around his neck, tousles his hair with the tips of her fingers and thrusts her waist up against his, arching her back just enough to keep the stake from doing any damage.

ELEKTRA: Go ahead. Isn't this what you do now? Or don't you have the guts to kill your own creation?

SPIKE: Not in here. Don't want to make a scene.

He puts the stake back in his pocket. She lets go of him, but only moves back about a foot.

ELEKTRA: Why? Cause were in public? You sired me in public. Didn't care what the hundreds of onlookers might say. Back then you were untouchable. No one messed with Bloody Billy. I was a Jersey girl from Bergen and you were this exotic golden-haired superman who totally blew my mind. I saw how everyone respected you. Remember when you made the vamps pay homage to you on the anniversary of the Slayer's death? You and Dru were King and Queen of New York, and I was your Princess. Now look at you. What the hell happened, Spike? [she laughs as she asks this]

SPIKE: Hubris. Nowhere to go but down. Same old story. Once upon a time used to dress so fine, through the bums a dime in your prime, I'm a loser so why don't you kill me. [He takes out his stake and puts it in her hands.] Why don't you? You're only telling me something I've told myself about a million bloody times. Go ahead, Elektra. Put me out of my sodding misery.

ELEKTRA: After all you've given me?

She reaches her right hand deep into the left pocket of Spike's jeans and puts the stake in the pocket. Her fingers linger for a few seconds, making Spike most uncomfortable. When she removes her hand, Elektra makes fun of Spike's skittishness.

ELEKTRA: What's the matter? Am I too young for you? Nonsense. I'm old enough to be the Slayer's mother. How old would I be by now? Right. 42. With a husband, kids, probably a house in Chatham. Luckily you rescued me from a life of boredom and mediocrity. [as if Spike didn't feel guilty enough already]

SPIKE: It's not something I'm proud of.

ELEKTRA: Wasn't talking bout siring me. Big deal. You made me a vampire. So what? Most vampires are losers. You taught me that. I was talking about our time as a family. Those three years the two of you took me around the world. You made me better than the rest. Don't tell me you're not proud of that. Remember how Dru cried when I left the nest?

SPIKE: She always sobs at weddings. Or sirings, as was the case on that occasion. How were things with Alexander?

ELEKTRA: Fun while it lasted. But he couldn't live up to my expectations. Couldn't live up to you, I guess. Then again, who can?

SPIKE: These things take time. Took Dru twenty years to find me.

ELEKTRA: And it took Darla like one-and-a-half centuries to find Angelus, blah, blah, blah, mummy said the exact same thing. You two are SO predictable.

SPIKE: How has the single life been? I'm sure you've made a name for yourself. You better have, or I'll stake you right here out of disappointment. 

They both smile at Spike's joke. He figures they should have a conversation before he kills her. It was the least he could could do.

ELEKTRA: Haven't snuffed a Slayer yet. Unlike you. Or mummy. I heard there was one in Boston like five years ago, but when I got there they said she had just left town. Lucky for her. [Elektra laughs. Spike smiles] That's what you get for slumming in Europe. Spent a few years there. Went all around. I was in Tuscany when I heard what those vile Czechs did to mummy. Couldn't find you two. So I went to Prague and killed everything in sight. You know, vengeance. Teach them not to mess with my family. Vamped a few nuns in an abbey in Moravia as a tribute to mummy. When I finally arrived in Beantown, I moved in on this sorry-ass vampire gang in Kenmore Square, and totally took over. Made everyone do what I said. Ruled ALL the clubs on Landsdowne. Then I got this gang of Vulok demons to work for me down in Texas.

SPIKE: Vuloks? That's impressive. How'd ya pull that off?

ELEKTRA: Killed the Movari demon who was their master.

SPIKE: I'm impressed. Even I haven't killed one of those. You poked its eyes out without getting bitten? And the tusks weren't a problem?

ELEKTRA: Whadya think I used to poke the eyes out? [Spike smiles]

SPIKE: That's my girl. Smart AND tough.

ELEKTRA: Now that we're caught up, what next? How bout one last dance before you kill me?

SPIKE: Never was one for dancing.

ELEKTRA: Things have changed. You used to go to places like this to make vampires, not kill them. Why so much stalling? Can't look your kin in the face when you stake them, a la your role model Angel?

She wanted to provoke Spike into releasing some of his old rage.

SPIKE: You no me better than that, Leks.

ELEKTRA: Single combat. Fair fight. Always were a stickler for honor. Maybe that's what did you in.

Elektra grabs a man who was walking past them and throws him into Spike. She turns and runs for the back exit. Spike chases after her, pushing people aside to get to the door. When he steps outside and looks up in the air.

SPIKE: You can't hide from me, Leks. I know all your tricks.

ELEKTRA: And I know all of yours.

She's on top of the roof. She runs to the edge and leaps over the alley onto another building. She continues running from building the building, keeping to the middle, so she could go either way when she gets to the end of the block. Spike follows on the ground. Before she gets to the end of the block, Elektra runs away from Spike and towards Main Street. She leaps down onto Main and weaves in between the traffic. Spike sprints after her. He crosses the street just as Elektra takes a quick left and ducks down a side street. She crosses paths with a teenage boy coming the other way, and pushed him up against the wall. He's exactly as tall as she is, and not much heavier. Nothing like killing an innocent to use as a hostage to keep a vampire-with-a-soul at bay. When Spike looks down the side street, he notices that Elektra is attacking Connor. He decides to hang back and see how this plays out. He has no idea she is fighting someone from the other side of their family.

ELEKTRA: Hello cutie.

She runs her fingers through his floppy brown hair and stairs deeply into his eyes. Connor notices that Elektra is very attractive. He also notices she thrusted his back into the wall a little too forcefully, and held him there a little too firmly.

ELEKTRA: What's a nice boy like yourself doing out all alone at this late hour?

Connor puts his hand on her heart, just to make sure. Spike thinks he might also be copping a feel.

CONNOR: Killing you.

Connor pushes her away and hits her face with a left jab and a right hook. Elektra staggers backwards.

ELEKTRA: Funny, cause that's exactly what I was gonna say.

She goes bumpy. This boy seemed powerful, and Elektra was always up for a good scrape. Connor charges right at her, and she keeps him at bay with a right cross to the jaw. He tries a left, which she blocks. She lands a left, and he lands a right. They spar for a few seconds, blocking each other's attacks, neither quickly gaining the upper hand. Connor leaps in the air, spins his body like a screwdriver, and kicks Elektra in the head before landing on his feet.

ELEKTRA: Not bad. Might wanna keep you. Got a girlfriend?

Connor hates it when vampires hit on him. It's like they know he almost one of them. He leaps at Elektra. She grabs him and tosses him face-first into a wall, then kicks him in the spine. He turns around just in time to get kicked in the face by a right roundhouse. He moves away from the wall and decides to exploit his quickness and mobility. After dodging a couple of her punches, Connor hits Elektra twice in the face and kicks her in the stomach before landing a right uppercut to her chin. She throws a left, which he blocks. Connor lands two left hooks. Thinking he's done enough damage, he grabs his stake with his right hand and goes for the kill. Elektra leans left, grabs his right arm with her right hand, pulls it behind his body, and puts herself right behind him. Spike is proud. She did it exactly the way he taught her to. Before Elektra can bite Connor, he leaps in the air and does a backflip. Now he's behind Elektra. She elbows him in the nose knocks him down with a spin kick. Spike had never seen anyone escape that predicament the way Connor had, so that impressed him. But he was also impressed with how Elektra kept her head and responded to Connor's surprise move.

Elektra was now beginning to understand what Spike meant when he told her he could have "danced all night" with the Subway Slayer. She was going to take this slow, let the human tire himself out, and have some fun in the meantime. She has her elbows in against her chest, ready to block his attacks. Connor comes at her swinging, but can't connect. Elektra counters with a few punches to the body before tossing Connor down on his face. He rises to his feet before she can kick him while he's down. Connor shoots his right leg at her face, but she backs up just in time, and the blow falls short by an inch. Connor tries a left spin kick, which is just what Elektra expected. She grabs his left leg in mid-air. Connor leaps up, kicks her in the chin with his right leg, and does another back flip.

ELEKTRA: You're a little tall for a gymnast, but you sure can tumble.

She kicks Connor in the mouth. He tries to kick her in the head. She ducks, kicks him in the ribs, punches him in the throat with her left fist, and decks him with a right hook that sends him rolling on the ground.

ELEKTRA: See what I mean?

Spike laughs. He loathes puns, but he loves prophetic taunts. Connor is getting very angry. He flies at Elektra and kicks her in the collarbone. She grabs Connor. He tries to overpower her, but Elektra tosses Connor to the ground. He springs to his feet. She hits his right cheek. He punches her back. Trying to follow this up, he steps towards her with his right foot and throws a right hook. She bends down, turns around, and clobbers Connor with a right reverse kick. When she lands this kick, her head is touching her left knee. Connor's impressed. And frustrated. This only makes him more careless. He attacks, but she hits him before he has a chance to hit her. She lands a right-left combination to the face. Then a right kick to the stomach followed by a right kick to the chin. Elektra can tell by watching Connor's hips that he is about to attempt a left spin kick. She sweeps his right leg out from under him with her left leg. Without a leg to stand on, Connor spins a few times in the air before landing on his back. Elektra presses her right foot down on Connor's throat.

ELEKTRA: Looks like you met your match, Wonder Boy.

Connor grabs her right foot with both hands. He pulls it off his throat, and pulls Elektra down to the ground. Connor quickly sits up and stakes her. Spike winces. She had fought so well. He felt it was a shame she died from such a careless mistake. Spike didn't want her to win. He planned to intervene and kill her before she killed Connor. He wasn't letting her escape and attack the Potentials or, God forbid, talk to Buffy. But he wished she had died on her feet. Spike walks back to Buffy's house, shaken by the surprise visit. He had seen his victims in his mind. He had seen them in mirages. But this was the first time he had seen one in the flesh.

Connor sits on the ground for about twenty seconds, catching his breath. Elektra has also left him shaken, physically if not psychologically. He slowly gets up and continues on the the cemetery, his intended destination.

Faith walks out of her cell to watch tv with the rest of the inmates, even though she has a television in her cell. Watching alone is just no fun for her. She sits down among about 20 other prisoners.

FAITH: Turn to channel 12.

MARTHA: We were here first. This is what all of us want to watch. This is what we always watch.

FAITH: Five by four.

Martha immediately changes the channel. Everyone knows you don't want Faith to be anything but five by five. Faith leans back, chews her gun and relaxes. A guard comes over and tells her the warden wants a word with her. She goes to see her.

FAITH: What have I done this time?

WARDEN: You're endangering the other prisoners.

FAITH: Only when they deserve it.

WARDEN: That's not what I mean. Those people who've been attacking you are a risk to the general population.

FAITH: And you're blaming me!?

WARDEN: No. I'm freeing you.

FAITH: Is this a joke?

WARDEN: You're too much of a liability to have around. And you have been a model prisoner, in your own unique way. Helped keep the peace. Hell, you've made the peace. Believe me, if you ever need a job, the state of California will be more than happy to hire you as prison guard. Also, I talked to the D.A. and he said there was an 80% chance you would win your appeal next month and get sprung on a technicality. Prosecutors hate it when their convictions get overturned. Officially, we're suspending your sentence and putting you on parole for 25 years. Which means if you do so much as shoplift a tube of lipstick from the corner bodega, you'll be back in here for the rest of your life. You seem to like it here. But I don't you like it enough to want to want to make it your permanent address. You walk at noon tomorrow. Here's hoping I never see your face again.

FAITH: This is for real?

WARDEN: Someone really wants you dead, and it's the luckiest break of your life. Now get out before you start pretending to thank me.

Buffy, GIles, Kennedy, Molly, Rona, Vi and Amanda stand around a fresh grave waiting for a new vampire to rise. Connor approaches.

GILES: Didn't think you'd make it. What happened to your face?

CONNOR: Stubborn vampire. Don't worry. It's dust. Which seems to be what you're staring at. What's up?

RONA: We're waiting for a new vampire to rise.

CONNOR: Looks boring.

Connor lies down on top of the grave and falls asleep.

KENNEDY: I don't think he's faking.

She pokes him a few times with a stake. He doesn't notice. The other Potentials lean down to touch him and see for themselves. Buffy groans at the way they fawn over him. 

VI: He's really hurt.

RONA: Poor guy. His cheeks are all bruised. And he's got that cut above his eye. [she touches his face gently, as does Molly]

MOLLY: And he's got a swollen lip. I think his nose is bleeding. He needs someone to look after him.

Connor has a knack for making women want to take care of him and "mother" him. It makes Giles more than a bit nauseous.

GILES: Please back away from the slumbering man and quit playing Florence Nightingale before I lose my dinner.

KENNEDY: Isn't this dangerous? What if the vampire rises and grabs him?

BUFFY: [smiling at the thought] Then he'll learn an important lesson – don't sleep on fresh graves.

KENNEDY: Is that a lesson that needs learning?

BUFFY: Not if you're sane. But if you're Connor –

Buffy raises her eyebrows. Kennedy gets the joke and snickers. The other Potentials nudge Connor and try to rouse him.

MOLLY: Connor? Connor?

RONA: Why is he so tired?

AMANDA: Even if he was out all evening fighting demons, he shouldn't be THAT exhausted.

Amanda looks around nervously, fearing she gave herself away. But it's true. She went demon hunting with him, and she's not the least bit sleepy.

VI: He does look kinda cute, all peaceful and resting.

MOLLY: Like sleeping beauty.

RONA: Cept he's a guy.

AMANDA: That goes without saying.

RONA: But he is adorable.

AMANDA: That also goes without saying. If we wake him he might be really cranky, and I don't think I want to be around Connor when he's cranky.

A few seconds later, Connor opens his eyes. He reaches his right arm down into the dirt. He's heard the vampire breaking out of his coffin. He grabs the vampire by its collar, rolls over, stands up, pulls it out of the dirt and holds the vampire about six inches off the ground.

CONNOR: Who wants him?

GILES: I believe it was Kennedy's turn.

KENNEDY: That's right. Toss him this way, sleepy head.

The vampire is a bit disoriented from his rising. Kennedy plays it safe, doesn't let him get a hold of her. A few punches, a few kicks, then she stakes him before he fully understands what's going on. Connor hadn't seen her fight before.

CONNOR: Not bad. There's a couple live ones in the forest.

BUFFY: I know. We were gonna hit that place later.

Connor runs off. He can smell the blood from a victim these vampires dragged back to their lair. Buffy looks at Giles.

BUFFY: Can I put a leash on him? It would be for his own good. He keeps this up he'll run into a death trap before long.

GILES: I'm well aware of that danger. Which is why you should follow him.

BUFFY: That's the problem with boys. They always need me to save them.

Buffy goes off after Connor. Giles and the Potentials follow. Connor is standing outside a dugout shack.

CONNOR: Sounds like three of them.

BUFFY: Glad you waited for backup.

CONNOR: Thought I'd give you a chance to kill something.

Buffy rolls her eyes. Giles comes up and whispers in Buffy's ear.

CONNOR: I heard. Sounds good to me.

He's standing about ten feet from Buffy, so she and Giles are more than a little surprised. Buffy kicks open the door and enters, with Connor right behind. She takes the vamp to her right. He gets the one on the left. They both let the third vampire escape, so the Potentials could kill it. Giles thought it was time to see how they'd react to a surprise. Buffy gets in a few quick blows, blocks the vampire's attempts to hurt her, throws the vamp against the wall and stakes it. Connor starts off well. Then the vamp blocks one of his punches, hits Connor in the face, and throws him to the ground. Connor quickly gets up to resume the fight. But Buffy has already stepped in, kicked the vampire in the head, and staked it.

CONNOR: That was my kill.

BUFFY: Sorry. Force of habit, I guess.

Connor is embarrassed. Buffy's shown him up, and she knows it.

Outside, the Potentials are initially shocked when the vampire charges out towards them. Vi gets out of the way. Kennedy steps up and hits him in the face. She and Rona grab his arms. Molly goes to stake the vamp, but he kicks her away before breaking free from Kennedy and Rona. Amanda looks around, picks up an eight foot-long branch, and stakes the vamp from a distance. Seemed to her like the easiest solution.

Gunn and his soldiers are racing through his old neighborhood along parallel streets, picking off vampires left and right. Gunn is exhilarated. Slaying's never been this easy. It helps that so many vampires are on the streets and completely unprepared for this sort of attack. The vehicle Gunn is in stops outside an abandoned home. Barry, one of the soldiers, looks at the monitor.

BARRY: Four vampires, one human vic, still kicking. Let's move.

Three soldiers enter along with Gunn. The driver and one other soldier stay to protect the vehicle. The soldiers carry their "zap" guns, which now have a wooden stake attached on top of the end of the barrel as a sort of bayonet. They hit two of the vampires with their electric charges and stake them. Gunn fights one himself, land a few punches before shooting out a stake from his left wrist and dusting the vamp. The "victim" they were trying to save is actually fighting the fourth vampire. After a protracted struggle he knocks the vamp to the ground and dusts it. The soldiers shine their flashlights on the man's face.

GUNN: Marcus!?

MARCUS: Charlie! You're back!

They shake hands and pat each other on the back.

GUNN: Glad to know you still in the game.

MARCUS: Like I got a choice.

GUNN: I hear ya.

MARCUS: What's with the white men in black? You workin' for the government?

GUNN: Naw. They workin' for me.

In another part of town, Wesley rides down the street on his motorcycle, heading straight for a vampire. At the last moment he veers a few feet to the left, grabs his sword in his right hand, and decapitates the vamp. He chases down a second vampire like a cavalry man riding down a fleeing enemy. The vampire veers down an alley, but Wesley follows him and finishes him off. Then he hears something on his radio.

STEWART: Got 15 to 20 hostiles barricaded inside a five-story building. Dug in too good for us to storm without heavy casualties.

WES: Tell you what to do . . .

Stewart's truck pulls away and continues vampire hunting a few blocks away. The vampires think the enemy has given up. About five minutes later, Wesley arrives. He parks his bike out of sight and approaches the building on foot. The vampires see easy pickings. Eight of them come out to kill Wesley. At first he's confident. But then he gets nervous. Stu was supposed to be back by now. Wesley tries as best he can to keep the horde at bay. But they surrounded him and start doing some damage. When Wes is on his knees, trying get up, and getting kicked in the mouth for his efforts, he hears the vehicle approaching.

WES: About bloody time.

A grenade is tossed into the crowd of vampires. Wes runs away and hits the deck. The grenade explodes, dusting five vampires with its wooden splinters. Four soldiers get out of the vehicle, shoot down the three other vamps, and stake them. They break through the barricades and burst in on the remaining vamps. Wesley goes around back. He rips off a piece of the wooden railing by the rear exit. Two vampires try to escape, and he impales them. Then he enters the building and helps the men finish off nine more vamps, who are too surprised to put up much of a fight. When they are done, Wes walks out with Stewart.

STEWART: Good plan.

WES: You were 30 seconds late. Try to do better next time.

Wesley gets on his bike and rides off to check on the other team.

The patrol is finished. Giles has taken the Potentials home. Connor is off at Anya's. Buffy walks down Main Street. She hears a familiar voice from behind.

ANGEL: Looking for vampires?

Buffy turns around. She's shocked, but not as shocked as Angel expected.

BUFFY: You're not Angel.

ANGEL: Who else could I be?

BUFFY: You're not real. You're the First.

ANGEL: First what? First love?

BUFFY: First Evil. That's what's making me see you.

ANGEL: You mean that boogieman's back? Good thing I'm here to help.

He walks towards her.

BUFFY: Stay away.

ANGEL: Why? If I don't exist, what does it matter? Then again, if I didn't exist, could I do this?

He grabs Buffy around her waist and pulls her close. Now she is as shocked as he had expected. She reaches up and touches his face.

BUFFY: It's really you. It's really you, Angel.

Words can't adequately express how Buffy feels at this moment, so she kisses him. After about twenty seconds, she realizes something about him is different.

BUFFY: Am I really cold, or are you really warm?

She puts her ear to his chest, and hears his heart beating.

BUFFY: You're . . . You're . . . You're human. Angel, you're human.

ANGEL: Why do you think I came back?

BUFFY: When did this happen? How did this happen?

ANGEL: Let's go somewhere and talk.

They go to that restaurant/club where Warren punched Xander. A jazz quartet plays Coleman Hawkins' arrangement of "Body and Soul." Angel and Buffy are dancing.

BUFFY: So that's it? It's over for you?

ANGEL: No. It's just beginning. We're just beginning.

BUFFY: I know. I know. I'm so happy. And still in shock. I meant your whole LA thing is over.

ANGEL: Couple years ago, I learned of a prophecy about a vampire with a soul who averts the apocalypse and then becomes human. Never thought it would happen so soon.

BUFFY: There was an apocalypse? Why didn't I know about this?

ANGEL: Figured you were too busy with things here in Sunnydale.

BUFFY: You figured right. So LA will be safe without you?

ANGEL: Wes, Gunn, Fred, Lorne and Cordy are still there fighting the good fight. Cordy's really happy cause now she gets to be in charge, boss everyone around.

BUFFY: That's always been a dream of hers. Guess all our dreams are coming true. I still can't believe this is happening.

Angel kisses her.

ANGEL: You've had more than enough bad luck. Sooner or later something had to go right.

BUFFY: Guess karma's finally pulling its weight.

They dance for a little while more, then head for home. They climb up through Buffy's window into her room.

ANGEL: Still sneaking back in. Force of habit?

BUFFY: I just didn't want to cause a scene. Then I'd have to wait while you told everyone the story you told me. I want you all to myself tonight.

ANGEL: I was hoping you'd say that.

BUFFY: I still can't believe this is happening.

ANGEL: This might help.

Puts his right hand under her chin and lifts her head upwards so she's looking into his eyes. He leans down to kiss her. She wraps her arms around him, straddles her legs around his waist, and they fall onto her bed. Thereupon they engage in an extended period of what Xander termed "tender, Sarah MacLachlan love." Several hours and numerous moments of happiness later, Angel is asleep. Buffy puts on his shirt and gets out of bed.

She opens the door and sees Willow and Kennedy on the floor in the hallway, with bites on their necks. To the center of the hallway lies Xander with his neck twisted backwards. At the head of the stairs lies Giles, also with neck wounds. Buffy is understandably horrified. But the darkness of the upstairs hallways obscures the full brutality of what has happened. She makes her way down the stairs, which are illuminated by lights from the downstairs hallway. It's as if she's descended from Heaven into Hell. Molly and Vi lie right at the front door, killed as they attempted to escape. Fearing what's next, Buffy turns right and enters the living room, where the lights are still on. Dawn lies sprawled out on the couch by the front window. She looks more peaceful than the other victims, as if carefully placed there by the killer after she was already dead. Rona lies face-up near the fireplace, her eyes still open. Amanda is face down near the rear set of doors to the hallway. Buffy walks through the carnage in tears.

At the back of the living room stands Spike. Blood drips down off his chin. Buffy sees him standing there, his eyes staring off into space as if his mind is somewhere else.

BUFFY: Spike, why? How could you do this? How could you?

Spike launches into rapid hiccups of mad-as-a-hatter laughter.

SPIKE: You expected a happy ending?

Buffy wakes up. It was only dream. But it all all so vivid. It felt so real, the ecstasy as well as the agony. And she knows that with her there is no such thing as just a dream.


	5. Connor, Mommy and the First

Connor trains with Wood, talks to Xander, fights with Spike, and finally meets the First Evil. He also meets Kit and Carlos.

Buffy cannot go back to sleep. She is worried, but knows she can't tell Giles about this particular dream, since its details would confirm his worst suspicions about Spike and cause him to worry that Buffy is distracted by thoughts of Angel. She would have to figure out this prophetic vision on her own. First, she focuses on the elements which could not possibly have come from her subconscious. The prophecy about a vampire with a soul becoming human is news to her, as is the story about Angel was trying to stop an apocalypse in Los Angeles. Angel mentioned some guys named Fred, Gunn and Lorne, and Buffy had never heard of any of them. Then there was the unfamiliar song they were dancing to. She had never heard it, didn't know the title, and didn't even know that it had lyrics. That is all she has to work with. The rest of the dream could plausibly be explained as a manifestation of her fondest hopes and darkest fears. Angel returns, they can finally have a real relationship, but Spike responds by killing everyone in a jealous rage. In other words, everything has a price.

As the sun rises, Connor steps out of bed and gets dressed.

ANYA: You're leaving already?

CONNOR: Going training. Be back soon.

ANYA: You just don't run out of energy, do you? Wake me when you get back.

CONNOR: You bet.

He heads over to the school and enters Principal Wood's office. Connor cleans off and puts back the weapons he had borrowed the previous evening. Then he sits down and waits for Robin. When he arrives, Connor swivels around in the chair behind the principal's desk. Robin is very confused.

WOOD: How did you get in here? I always lock my office when I leave.

CONNOR: So?

Connor doesn't see the relationship between Wood's question and his statement. Robin knew this boy was odd, but he is beginning suspect that he's barely scratched the surface of Connor's weirdness. He decides not to press the matter.

WOOD: Let's go to the gym.

They walk into the gym. Connor picks up a basketball that was on the floor. Gunn showed him how to play over the summer, and in an attempt at bonding took Connor down to the courts in his old neighborhood. Gunn quickly realized that Connor was too good for public display. It was unheard of for white boys Connor's height to hang from the rim. It was inconceivable for anyone to be able to hang from the top of the backboard, as Connor once did when he mistimed a rebound. Connor starts dribbling.

WOOD: You play ball?

CONNOR: A little. You play?

WOOD: First team all-league back in high school. Pretty good in my day.

CONNOR: Bet I could beat you.

WOOD: Let's see what you got.

Connor smirks. He starts with the ball at the top of the key. Wood's guarding him from about three feet away, expecting Connor to drive. Connor takes one dribble to the right. Wood shuffles left to keep up with him. Then Connor picks up his dribble, takes one step, leaps by Wood, and scores with an awkward but successful right-handed dunk. Robin is rendered temporarily speechless. He could have sworn Connor jumped in the air when he was at least ten feet from the basket. He looks up to make sure that the basket it at the correct height. Then he looks at Connor as he walks back out to the top of the key.

WOOD: Nice move. By the way, what are your parents?

Connor thinks Wood suspects the truth.

CONNOR: What does that mean?

WOOD: You know. What are they? Where are they from?

CONNOR: Ireland. I'm black Irish, like my father.

WOOD: Black Irish. That's just a saying, right? It doesn't actually mean your father is – never mind.

CONNOR: Check. [bounces Wood the ball]

Wood bounces it back. Robin decides to step back and give the kid some room. Connor's about twenty feet out, so Wood stands about ten feet away. Connor dribbles to the left, but does so with his right hand. It's obvious he hasn't played much, which Robin finds to be odd, considering the young man's obvious abilities. From the left wing, Connor dribbles at Wood. Robin takes a step back. When he gets inside the lane, Connor pulls up, as if about to take a running jumper. Instead he spins around Wood – doing a 360 in midair – before making a two-handed dunk.

ROBIN: I see you don't have much of a jump shot. It's a shame you don't go to this school. What high school did you go to?

CONNOR: Didn't.

ROBIN: Oh. So you were home-schooled.

CONNOR: Something like that.

ROBIN: Obviously you can score. But the question is, can you play D?

CONNOR: You think you can get by me?

ROBIN: I'm sure I can.

CONNOR: Like to see you try.

Robin takes the ball out top. He dribbles into the lane and posts up. He turns around and fakes a jumper. Connor goes for the fake. By the time his feet return to the ground, Robin has pivoted around him and banked in a short jumper. If he couldn't go over Connor, he would go under him.

WOOD: Told you.

CONNOR: [smiling] You got lucky that time.

Wood drives down the right side of the lane. He pulls up five feet from the basket and pump fakes. Connor goes up. Wood goes for a lay-up. To his astonishment, Connor blocks it. Somehow he managed to get down and get back up in time. The ball slams off the backboard. Robin leaps up, grabs the rebound, and swishes a fadeaway from the foul line.

ROBIN: See. Ya gotta play D to win. Let's go see how you fight.

They walk over to the other end of the gym, where a wrestling mat is on floor. About a half hour later Wood hits the showers and prepares for the school day. He knows the kid's got skills, but suspects Connor's a little green. His fighting technique is far from orthodox, and Connor has some bad habits which Robin can't exploit, but which he suspects a vampire – or a Slayer – could. Connor goes back to Anya's. She's just awakened.

ANYA: There you are. But look at you. You're all sweaty and moist, but not in a good way. And I'm all icky and have horrible pillow head. I need a shower. But so do you. [she smiles] That's a great idea.

CONNOR: What is?

Gunn, Wes, Fred and Lorne have finished their first sortie, and are back at Lindsey's hotel suite/command center, discussing how things went.

LINDSEY: The guys are just raving about you, Lorne. I believed in you, and even I'm shocked.

LORNE: You have to remember I grew up in a highly militaristic society. Did very well with the book learning. Strategy, tactics. It was the actual fighting that I had a problem with.

GRAHAM: Good work out there. Never seen a guy take down so many with his bare hands before.

GUNN: They were too scared to put up much of a fight, what with you all firing off your ray guns and runnin' em down like road kill. So how is the soldier of fortune thing workin' out for you?

GRAHAM: Pay's a lot better than when I was army. Rules of engagement a lot less strict. Can't complain.

GUNN: What was it like? You know, killing demons for the government?

GRAHAM: Actually, it was more capturing than killing. Which always seemed kind of odd. That was the problem. The big picture never made sense. It still doesn't. Last month, they flew a whole company of special forces and a team of doctors 3,000 miles just to save some vampire's life. That's like more than a million bucks right there – for what?

GUNN: Must be a pretty important vampire.

GRAHAM: Trust me. He's not.

Graham heads off to get some rest. Gunn goes over to talk to the others.

LINDSEY: Thought you and Graham would work well together. He's one of our most dependable men. Used to be based in your old town, Wesley.

WES: He was in Sunnydale? When?

LINDSEY: When you were up here and I still worked at Wolfram. The army had a minor testing facility in that town. Local congressman was a ranking member of the Armed Services Committee. Pork barrel patronage. Low priority. They used rookie soldiers, third-rate officers. Nothing they couldn't afford to lose.

FRED: I've always wondered, is the Hellmouth really as hellish as it sounds?

LINDSEY: If it was, Wolfram & Hart would have set up a branch office in Sunnydale decades ago. I checked out the actuarials a while back. Mortality rate's slightly higher than average. But it's still safer than the neighborhood Charles grew up in. It's the suburbs. People overreact. A couple mysterious deaths, the soccer moms go hysterical and think they're living on the mouth of Hell.

WES: Looking back, Sunnydale does seem kind of quaint. Evil, but in miniature.

LINDSEY: What do you four have planned for your next ride around the block?

GUNN: Gonna hit our old headquarters. Put Angelus in a box. Figuratively.

LINDSEY: How could that be taken literally?

Connor and Anya are getting dressed after shower sex.

CONNOR: Never done that before.

ANYA: How long were we in there? Do you have prune hands?

CONNOR: No. But the tips of my fingers are all wrinkled. See you again tonight?

ANYA: Sorry. Busy.

CONNOR: Oh. What about tomorrow?

She walks over to the boy to let him down easy.

ANYA: Connor. You've been great. And I'm not just saying that. But we've had our fun, and it's time to move on.

CONNOR: I don't understand. We were just –

ANYA: I know. And it was fabulous. But it's not like we're in love, or even really have feelings for each other.

CONNOR: Okay. Maybe not. But I don't see why we have to stop.

She strokes his cheek with her right hand.

ANYA: Connor. You're a sweet kid. What we had was very special. It meant a lot to me. I had fun with you. You had fun with me. What's wrong with leaving it at that?

Connor looks crestfallen. He puts his head down, hunches his shoulders, and leaves. He hates getting dumped. It's so humiliating. Makes him feel like a clueless teenager with no control over his life. He heads over to Buffy's. Maybe some Potential attention will boost his spirits. He enters through the back door. No one is in the kitchen. In the small side room between the kitchen and the back of the living room, Willow's sitting in a chair. Kennedy sits on the arm of the chair, and they're kissing and touching and acting all lovey-dubby. Connor is confused.

KENNEDY: Oh. Hey Connor.

WILLOW: Hey there kiddo. Didn't know you were around.

CONNOR: Just got here.

WILLOW: You hungry? There's cereal and stuff in the kitchen.

CONNOR: I'm okay. Thanks.

They go back to making googly eyes at one another. Connor walks into the living room. Xander's sitting on the couch at the other end of the room.

CONNOR: Why are Willow and Kennedy kissing?

XANDER: They're a couple. Didn't you know that? Who are you?

CONNOR: They're both girls. [Connor scratches his head and ponders this] What goes where?

XANDER: You must be Connor. [He's heard Connor acts like a fish out of water] I'm Xander.

Connor sits down on the couch.

XANDER: You look sad. Is something wrong?

CONNOR: Do you know a girl named Anya?

XANDER: Something the matter with her?

CONNOR: She broke up with me.

Xander turns his head away from Connor to conceal his glee. Then he looks at Connor and pretends to be sympathetic.

XANDER: I'm sorry. These things happen.

CONNOR: We had just gotten out of the shower. [Xander loses his sympathetic look] She tells me it was fun but now it's over. It was fun. Lots of fun. She thought so too. She was always so enthusiastic, always ready for more. I never knew there were so many ways. All those positions. And that thing she did to me with her mouth.

XANDER: Enough! I get the idea. You don't need to go into such excruciating detail. She had her way with you. You didn't mean a thing to her. Like I said, these things happen.

CONNOR: Is this the way it always is – sleep with a girl and she goes evil?

Xander takes a few seconds to drink in the irony. He he has no idea how ironic Connor's question is.

XANDER: Usually they're evil before I get a chance to sleep with them. But Anya's not evil. Unless the guy breaks up with her. Which isn't the case here.

CONNOR: Guess I just don't understand older women. Maybe I should date girls my own age.

XANDER: Interesting idea. What are you? 21? 22?

CONNOR: 18.

XANDER: Really? A teenager. You just look older than that to me. I don't think that's a very good idea. By now, you're probably much too experienced to relate to teenage girls. Far, far too experienced. Perhaps you should split the difference, date girls only a little older than you. College girls, for instance.

CONNOR: College. That's the place where the teachers try to kill the students.

XANDER: I see you've heard about the Initiative.

CONNOR: The what?

XANDER: You know. Buffy's psych professor.

CONNOR: Buffy's what?

XANDER: Oh. So what were you referring too? Never mind. I have to go to work now.

CONNOR: What kind of work?

XANDER: Construction. I'm a carpenter.

CONNOR: Like Jesus?

XANDER: Well, no, not at all like Jesus. I'm certainly no miracle worker. Although there was that time I raised the dead, and recently I did save the world with love. But mostly I build things. Like this weapons chest.

Connor checks out Xander's handiwork.

CONNOR: This is nice.

XANDER: Thanks. I really have to get going.

CONNOR: Nice meeting you, Xander.

XANDER: You too Connor. Think about what I said about NOT dating teenage girls.

Xander leaves. Connor goes into the hallway, then into the kitchen. He grabs and orange and starts peeling it. Andrew enters.

ANDREW: Connor. So nice of you to return. Would you like an omelet? I make very good omelets. And while I'm making it you can tell me all about yourself. Do you read comic books? Which hero or heroes would you say you "identify" with most?

Connor looks at Andrew warily. He doesn't understand why a servant would be so annoying and pushy. He takes his orange and leaves.

ANDREW: That young man definitely has something to hide.

A little later, Buffy's drinking coffee in the kitchen, preparing to go to work. Spike comes up from the basement.

SPIKE: Sleep well?

Spike's behind her. She's startled to hear his voice, and spills coffee on her blouse.

BUFFY: Didn't see you there. 

SPIKE: Did I scare you?

BUFFY: You? Scaring me? Come on Spike. Caffeine just made me a little jumpy. Also a little stained.

She walks towards the stairs to go up to her bedroom and change her blouse. Spike follows.

SPIKE: There's something I need to tell you.

BUFFY: Make it quick.

SPIKE: I'm leaving. Moving back to my old crypt.

BUFFY: What? Why?

SPIKE: The only reason you wanted me here was to keep an eye on me, make sure I didn't kill again. Now you say you trust me, so I don't see any reason to keep hanging around.

BUFFY: You can't do this. Not right now.

SPIKE: Why not? You don't trust me?

BUFFY: That's not the issue. I need you here.

SPIKE: Maybe you need me as a fighter. But you don't need me as the wacky monster who lives in the basement.

BUFFY: You think that's how I see you?

SPIKE: It's how I see myself. Why do you think I've been off my game? Not like there's anything keeping me here.

BUFFY: What about me?

SPIKE: You mean you and me? You mean us? Don't kid yourself. There's no there there. The fact that this comes as a surprise to you only proves my point. I'm through being your charity case. I don't have much, but I have my dignity.

Spike puts his blanket over his head, opens the front door, and runs off. Not the most dignified means of travel. Connor, who's out walking to the school, notices a man streaking through people's yards with smoke rising off his back. He wonders what vampire would be foolish enough to travel above-ground during the daytime. Spike dashes into his old crypt.

SPIKE: Thanks for house sitting. Now get out. I'm back.

CLEM: Spike! This is certainly a surprise.

SPIKE: What part of get out don't you understand?

CLEM: You mean right now?

SPIKE: No time like the present. You have your own place.

CLEM: The thing is, I let Rolf live there.

SPIKE: Then unlet him.

CLEM: It's not that simple. Technically, it is. But on a more practical level, he's a lot stronger than me.

SPIKE: You're afraid of him. I'm not. Tell Rolfie that if he has a problem with the new living arrangements, he can take it up with me. Now go back to your own nest.

CLEM: You seem a little tense. Is something bothering you?

SPIKE: Yeah. I don't have a home. You can take care of that by leaving. And if Rolf starts bitching and moaning, remind him that I'll be more than happy to kill him. And the fact that he has four thumbs and three eyes only means there are more parts for me to break.

Clem leaves. Spike turns on his stereo, grabs a bottle of wine and sits down on the couch. He uncorks it, leans his head back and takes a swig. When he brings his head back down and looks forward, Connor is standing right in front of him. Jane's Addiction's "Had a Dad" is playing on the stereo.

SPIKE: Didn't your parents teach you to knock?

CONNOR: I want you to teach me how to kill you.

SPIKE: Bloody hell. Compared to you, Anya's the queen of subtlety.

CONNOR: What does she have to do with this?

SPIKE: Still lacking that sense of humor. [Spike stands up] Where are my manners? [He tosses the bottle to Connor] Have a drink.

CONNOR: Blood?

SPIKE: No. Wine.

CONNOR: I don't drink.

Connor tosses the bottle back.

SPIKE: Maybe that's part of your problem.

Spike takes another swig.

SPIKE: Fine. I'll teach you. Even if you know how to kill me, you still won't be able to.

CONNOR: There are other demons I can fight. [like his father. Essentially, Connor wants Spike to teach him how to beat daddy up.]

"Had a Dad" ends. "Ted, Just Admit It" begins.

SPIKE: This is my favorite by them. What kind of music you like?

CONNOR: It don't really care for music.

SPIKE: Maybe that's also part of your problem. No wine. No song. All that's left is women. And the women come and go all too quickly, don't they Connor? Looks like Anya's already tossed you aside.

CONNOR: I don't know what you're talking about.

SPIKE: You'd make a lousy poker player. First off, you've been reeking of her the past two days. Second, nobody getting it from Anya could look that mopey unless she cut them off. Trust me, it's for the best. Just feel lucky you didn't break up with her. I'll be over in a few.

CONNOR: You know where my place is?

SPIKE: I think I can find my way there.

CONNOR: Why were you running outside in the sunlight?

SPIKE: I'm a part of this world, and I won't let some attention-hogging heavenly body make me cower underground like a sodding Morlock.

Connor leaves. Spike sits down again and finishes the bottle as the song continues to play: "Camera got them images, camera got them all, nothing's shocking. Show me everybody naked and disfigured, nothing's shocking." When the song finishes, Spike takes the tunnels to the mansion.

Spike and Connor are at the mansion. Spike's trying to give the boy the benefit of his wisdom.

SPIKE: Okay kid. Take your best shot. I'll give you a little help with motivation. As if you needed any. [goes bumpy]

Connor runs at him. Spike steps out of the way at the last minute and tosses Connor on his face.

SPIKE: You're doing a pretty good impression of a bull. Now all I need is a red cape and some knickers. I said take your best shot.

Connor leaps at Spike. Spike jumps back ten feet.

SPIKE: No use trying to impress a vamp with tricks they already know. Have to admit, you make a pretty good leapfrog. How bout you try to hit me. After all, that's the whole bloody point, isn't it?

Connor hits Spike's face with a right hook. Spike responds with one of his own. Connor hits Spike again. Spike hits back. They exchange blows a third time. Connor staggers back a step.

SPIKE: You're human. Stop pretending you're a bloody vampire. Keep depending on brute force, you won't last very long. You're missing something. Make me try, and I'll show you what it is.

Connor tries a left roundhouse kick. Spike backpedals out of the way. Connor throws a right kick. Spike blocks it. He blocks Connor's left jab and nails Connor in the chin. Spike blocks three more punches, hits Connor with a left jab to the nose and a right hook to the jaw. Connor ties Spike's arms up and tries to use his quickness to get inside on Spike. Spike tosses Connor into the wall.

SPIKE: Care to guess what you're sorely lacking?

CONNOR: Weapons?

SPIKE: Defense. All you do is attack. If that doesn't work, you take your punishment. How many beatings do you have to take before you learn that lesson? Let the opponent create your opportunities. Block and counter. Defense is everything.

CONNOR: No. Balance is everything. [Spike laughs]

SPIKE: Now that has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Don't have balance, you fall down. So what? [Spike jumps in the air, and falls on his back] Go ahead. Grab a stake and try to kill me. I'm on my back. I'm helpless. Bet you can't kill me. Bet you can't even hurt me. Let's make this interesting. You land one blow, one single good hit, and I'm walking out that front door. Without my coat.

CONNOR: This is a trick.

SPIKE: Well, yes. Of course it is. Doesn't mean I'm lying. Quit stalling. I'm starting to get hungry. And in case you didn't notice, you're starting to bleed.

Connor runs at Spike, who kicks him away. Connor circles round, looking for an opening, trying to get behind Spike or to his side. Spike laughs and pivots around on his back so he's always facing Connor. Connor makes a quick move to Spike's left, but Spike trips him up before Connor can land a blow. Frustrated, Connor leaps on top of Spike, stake in hand. Spike pulls his knees back, put his feet against Connor's chest, and kicks him across the room and into the wall. Spike laughs. He puts his hands behind his head, closes his eyes and pretends to sleep. Connor leaps on top of him again. Spike blocks a punch and grabs both of Connor's arms. He flips Connor on his stomach and gets on top of him, twisting his right arm behind Connor's back. Connor grimaces.

SPIKE: Huh. This would break a normal person's arm. Let's see how much more you can take.

He twists Connor's right arm a little bit more until Connor finally groans in pain. Then Spike slams the right side of Connor's face into the cement floor and stands up.

SPIKE: Balance is everything? Maybe if we were fighting on a tightrope. Or the tippy-tops of bamboo trees. In the real world, on solid ground, good balance means you'll die on your feet. That's sodding all it means.

Connor gets up and walks to the other side of the room. Spike's really pissing him off. Spike approaches. Connor turns around. Spike kicks him in the ribs. Connor throws a right cross. Spike moves his head out of the way and connects with a right uppercut to Connor's chin. He flies ten feet back into the mantle.

SPIKE: See what I mean about defense?

Connor gives Spike a fiery stare. He hurls his stake at Spike, who turns to the side and watches it fly harmlessly by.

SPIKE: You notice how easy it is to defend against a predictable opponent.

Connor leaps in the air and tries to nail Spike with a flying kick. Spike grabs him in midair, then hurls him into the far wall. Connor decides to give it a rest.

SPIKE: You bend your knees, it means you're going to charge. You put your left leg in front of your right, it means you're going to take off on your left leg and try to kick me in the head with the right. You couldn't do a better job of telegraphing your moves if you worked for Western bloody Union. That reminds me. Don't grapple with vampires – they'll overpower you. And keep you feet in the ground, boy. Save the flips and leaps and spins for the ballet. No point showing off and trying to impress demons you're planning to kill.

CONNOR: That's it? That's all you got? No cool moves? Nothing I could use to actually HURT a demon?

SPIKE: Aren't you the blankest slate in the classroom. You have moves. Just need to use them better. Conserve your energy. Humans have to breathe. Vampires don't. They can outlast humans. That's how Slayers die. Can't make a quick kill, they get tired. After a while, there's nothing left. Stalemate always favors the vampire. That's how you'll die if you keep this up. Think of the toughest vampire you can imagine. (Connor imagines Angelus) You start off good, fight furiously, land blow after blow. But you can't quite drive that stake home. He counters. Hurts you a bit. You hurt him some more. The two of you go back and forth for, let's say, five minutes. Both of you are fighting for your lives. It's furious, intense, draining. Finally, your arms feel a little heavy. You're not as quick on your feet as you once were. The vampire's hurt, and tired, but he holds up better than you. He gets the upper hand. Pounds away. You try to get up, he kicks you. You're too exhausted, too battered, to fight back anymore. He wins. If he's smart. If he knows what he's doing. Not many vampires out there who fit that bill. But you find yourself alone in the dark with one of them, you'll be sorry.

Connor imagines the fight all too vividly. He remembers how he started off well against Angel in their fight in the kitchen when Angel had amnesia. He remembers how Angel took control and overpowered him. He pictures what Angelus, with his killer instinct, could have done in the same situation.

CONNOR: So I win fast?

SPIKE: Like kicking a football into a brick wall. Can't even make a dent in that thick skull of yours. You tried to win fast. That's why you lost slow. You're both strong. If he's smart, then you need to be smart. Let him attack. Try to predict what he'll do. Block his attack. Then he's exposed, and you go to work. Keep this up, he gets frustrated, he gets stupid, and you kill him, unless he gets smart at the end and runs away. [Connor imagines the fantasy fight when he finally gains the upper hand against Angel. He imagines the look on Angel's face when he realizes his son can take him. Course it's just fantasy.] Play to your strengths. Use your speed. Your reflexes. Like when you caught that ax. Be too quick for them to hit you.

CONNOR: Don't get hit. Sounds simple. Too simple.

Spike walks over to Connor, puts up his fists, pretends like he's going to spar with him.

SPIKE: For ever hand extended, another lies in wait. Keep you eye on that one. Anticipate.

Spike fakes a right jab. Connor goes to block it. Spike gently slaps the right side of Connor's face with his left hand.

SPIKE: Learned that from a brilliant woman.

CONNOR: Buffy?

Spike laughs. It's an Ani DiFranco lyric.

SPIKE: Someone much cooler. And possibly nearly as tough. Tell me Connor, how long have you possessed your special abilities?

CONNOR: Always. I think.

SPIKE: So you were born super. Not many come out that way. Ever figure out why?

CONNOR: No. Still trying to find out.

Spike walks into an adjacent room, and whispers something very softly to himself.

SPIKE: Buffy wants you, Connor. She thinks you're her soul mate, the only one who can understand her, make her happy. [ironic, since that's how Buffy feels about Angel.]

CONNOR: She has a funny way of showing it.

SPIKE: I knew it! [walks back over to Connor] A whisper. From halfway across the bloody house. How's your nose? That's how you found those Bringers. You tracked them! Like a bloodhound. Or something else that can smell blood. Something else with super-hearing. And super-strength. See a pattern?

CONNOR: I thought you were lying. All you do is trick people.

SPIKE: And yet you still bit down hard on the bait. I know the analogy is far from perfect. You breathe. Your heart beats. You're alive. I assume you age. And you probably don't live off blood. A vampire-human hybrid. I know what you are, Connor. The only question is how. It's a pity you don't know the answer to that one.

CONNOR: I already said that.

SPIKE: Smart. You know better than to say the same lie twice. We all have something to hide, to keep mum about. I respect that. But if you really wanted to keep your secret, wouldn't you do a little less showing off? You obviously like the attention, but don't care for the scrutiny. Can't have the first without the second.

CONNOR: You're a hypocrite. (like his father) What are you hiding from me about your own past? I'm 18. You're over 100. Which one of us has more to hide?

SPIKE: Sorry if I haven't published my memoirs as of yet. No need to get testy. I'm hungry, and I've been trying to lay off the live blood, so I'll be splitting. How bout we end with something less paranoid. Right now, I can take you. Buffy could beat you into a bloody pulp without so much as breaking a nail. But you're growing. The vampires aren't getting any stronger. The Slayers aren't either. You are. I've peaked. Buffy's plateaued. You'll just keep getting better. As long as you don't get yourself killed in the meantime.

CONNOR: I know. But thanks. Nice to hear from someone who believes in me.

SPIKE: Let's not go overboard, kid. I'm just stating the obvious. One final question. Been on my mind since you got here. Why this particular house?

CONNOR: It was empty. It had high ceilings. And a fireplace.

SPIKE: And I know that's the truth. After all, you're a lousy poker player. 

Spike heads for the basement and the sewer tunnels, which he takes back to his place. Connor goes over to the high school. When he was in the school the day before, he kept hearing stuff from below ground level. He wants to explore.

Connor walks through the halls of the high school, looking for a door which leads to the basement. Preston, walking to class with his friend Gary, spots Connor.

PRESTON: See that kid.

GARY: Yeah. What about him?

PRESTON: That's the guy Amanda was with last night! She said he went to Spring Valley. I knew she was lying to me.

GARY: Why you so hung up on Amanda? Thought you could do better.

PRESTON: So did I. Amanda's an acquired taste. But it's one that I've acquired. I can't explain. But seeing her, with him.

GARY: You want what you can't have. Nobody likes to lose. But you haven't lost. Not to that runt. You want her, make a move.

PRESTON: And if she rejects me?

GARY: Then everyone would laugh at you. What me to beat him up?

PRESTON: Wouldn't be a fair fight. And she'd probably feel sorry for the little pipsqueak. Forget it. Like I even wanted her in the first place.

Connor finds a door which leads to a staircase down to the basement. It's dark. He walks around. It's quiet. After about 30 seconds of wandering, he sees a young man in front of him. He has a deep bite mark on his neck. He is the guy Darla killed in the opening scene of "Welcome to the Hellmouth," after they had snuck into the high school at night. Buffy found his corpse the next day in the girls' locker room. He points at Connor.

DEAD GUY: You! You again. You killed me. What's inside you killed me. That little slut. All tarted up nice and innocent. Big wide-eyed look, like the one you're giving me. And then she did what you want to do to me right now.

CONNOR: Who are you?

DEAD GUY: I'm your true face. You've always wondered what you are. I'm going to show you.

CONNOR: Didn't know zombies could talk.

DEAD GUY: They can't.

CONNOR: Whatever.

He throws a right hook, which goes straight through the apparition.

DEAD GUY: Can't fight me. Can't fight yourself.

Connor rushes him again. He disappears. Connor's confused. He's never met an invisible person before, and isn't familiar with the idea of ghosts or spirits.

CARLOS: Hey buddy. Somethin' wrong? You okay, man?

Connor hears the voice, and goes towards it. He's expecting to meet another apparition.

CARLOS: You get attacked? There's some crazy stuff down here.

CONNOR: Who are you?

CARLOS: Carlos. Don't think I've seen you around.

He reaches out his right hand, holding his cigarette in his left. Connor looks at him suspiciously, then decides to shake his hand. It's warm. He's not a vampire. And he doesn't look or act like a demon.

CONNOR: I'm Connor.

CARLOS: It's creepy, but it's the only place to light up around here. I don't wander around, the walls don't move, I don't have no problems. You want one?

Holds out a cigarette. Connor's never known anyone who smokes. (Spike's never lit up around him.) So he's a little confused.

CONNOR: No thanks.

CARLOS: What were you doing down here anyway?

CONNOR: Looking around.

CARLOS: Looking for trouble sounds more like it.

CONNOR: Trouble always finds me.

CARLOS: I hear that. [the bell rings] Gotta go to lunch. Wanna come?

CONNOR: Okay.

They go upstairs, and meet Kit.

CARLOS: Kit, this is Connor. We met downstairs.

KIT: Seems to be a good place to meet people. Long as you can get out alive.

CONNOR: So there are things to kill down there.

KIT: Things to kill you.

CONNOR: Many have tried. I'm still here.

KIT: You sure sound a lot tougher than you look.

Connor hears sounds of a struggle. He looks down the hall and sees a very muscular guy picking on someone much smaller. The jock made a few ribald cracks about a female friend of his, and he objected. Connor hurries over.

CARLOS: He better not be thinking what I'm thinking he's thinking.

KIT: Kid's sure got brass ones if he's taking on Dwight.

CARLOS: Or he's – what's that word we had on our vocab quiz last month? The windmill guy.

KIT: Quixotic. He seems like the type.

CARLOS: Hope he doesn't think I got his back. I don't feel like getting expelled from two schools.

They walk over to see what transpires, and hopefully pull Connor back before he gets in too much trouble.

CONNOR: Leave him alone.

Dwight turns, sees Connor, and laughs.

DWIGHT: Or what?

Connor puts his left fist into a locker. Makes a dent about two inches deep. Several people gasp. What they don't know is he hit the solid metal bar between two lockers, which makes the demonstration even more impressive. A crowd gathers, expecting a fight. Dawn walks up to see what all the fuss is about. She's too far back to glimpse what's going on. Dwight's friend Colin walks up.

COLIN: This tweeker want a piece of us?

CONNOR: I wasn't talking to you.

COLIN: Kid's got a mouth bigger than his fist.

CONNOR: Shut up and back away if you know what's good for you.

A loud "oooooh" emanates from the crowd. Colin gets in Connor's face. He's got about four inches and 80 pounds on Connor. Dwight has six inches and more than 100 pounds on Connor. Dwight nudges his friend back a step.

DWIGHT: Relax. He's mine.

CONNOR: You got five seconds.

Dwight and Colin laugh.

DWIGHT: Or what?

CONNOR: 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1.

Dwight pushes Connor away. He still doesn't take him seriously. Connor smiles. He grabs Dwight and shoves his head into the front of a locker. The front door of the locker bends all the way into the locker's back wall. Colin throws a big right hook, trying to knock Connor out. Connor grabs the fist with his left hand, and squeezes. Colin groans and slowly falls to his knees, as Connor looks down at him.

CONNOR: Told you to back off. What do you say?

Squeezes harder. Hears something crack. Possibly a knuckle. Or a metatarsal. Tears begin to form in Colin's eyes.

COLIN: Sorry. Sorry dude. [Colin's shaking from shock and fear]

CONNOR: Was that so hard?

Connor lets go. Colin grabs his hand in agony. Dwight's head is still stuck in the locker. The two students he was picking on are laughing. Connor pulls him free. He looks at Connor and tries to flee in terror. Connor grabs him.

CONNOR: Forgetting something?

Connor gestures over to Edgar and Lacey, the guy he was bullying and the girl he insulting.

DWIGHT: We're cool. Just, just keep your freak friends the hell away from me.

Dwight and Colin run away. The crowd starts applauding the free entertainment Connor provided them with. Dawn makes her way through the onlookers.

DAWN: Connor! What are you doing here? Were you in a fight?

LACEY: Is he a friend of yours?

DAWN: He's new. He means well.

EDGAR: He beat up Dwight and Colin.

DAWN: Oh no.

LACEY: Oh yes. Look, thanks. I guess. Why did you want to help us?

CONNOR: That's what I do. I help people in trouble.

EDGAR: I wasn't really in trouble. Could have handled it fine myself. But that was cool the way you made Colin cry.

DAWN: Are they hurt?

CONNOR: Not really. No blood. Just had to make them apologize to your friends.

Dawn looks at deep, head-sized dent in the locker.

DAWN: Did you do that?

EDGAR: Dwight's head did that.

LACEY: Dawn, chill. Everything's copacetic.

KIT: You two know each other, Dawny?

CARLOS: Is he your older brother or something? He reminds me of your sister. What with the major ass-kicking and all.

Connor feels deeply insulted by the comparison.

DAWN: We're not related.

CONNOR: Thank God for that. My family's screwed up enough already. Last thing I need is Buffy as a part of it.

DAWN: You've met Kit and Carlos?

CONNOR: We were going to lunch.

DAWN: Oh. So was I. With them. Isn't that a coincidence.

CONNOR: Maybe it's just good luck.

Dawn smiles. Connor feels oddly relaxed around her. She seems different than the Potentials, or Buffy's friends. More blase. Treats Connor like he's just another kid, rather than some freak. Connor likes that. Wood comes up. He heard the commotion, assumed it was a fight, and came down to see who the culprits were.

WOOD: Connor. Kit. Carlos. You're together. And alliterative.

LACEY: It's okay, Principal Wood.

EDGAR: Dwight and Colin were causing trouble. Connor set em straight.

WOOD: I see. Just as long as he didn't send them to the hospital. Why are you fighting my students?

CONNOR: I was fighting for your students. They needed a champion.

Wood laughs. It all sounds a bit grandiose. Of course, Connor's doing a reducto ad absurdum with Angel's mission statement, fighting evil no matter how petty.

WOOD: Sorry. Champion. [he laughs some more] This is a high school, not the Roman Colosseum. They walked away? Under their own power?

EDGAR: With their tails between their legs.

CONNOR: They had tails? I thought they were human.

Dawn starts laughing, to make it look like Connor was joking.

DAWN: Good one, Connor. He's such a kidder. Always cracks me up.

She was going to say "leaves me in stitches," but feared Connor would take it literally.

WOOD: Dwight and Colin have been down to my office more than once. I assume they got what they deserved. Just talk to me before you think of doing any more "championing" during school hours.

He walks away. Robin is marveled by Dawn's power as a "misfit magnet." The outcasts have a way of finding her almost as soon as they come to town.

EDGAR: Nice meeting you, Connor. Gotta go. Late for class. Sure was worth it. See you round.

LACEY: Later, Connor. Maybe we can hang out some time. Are you going to Kevin's party tonight?

CONNOR: Depends.

Depends on whether or not demons show up. Connor of course has no idea who this Kevin is. Lacey smiles at him and leaves. She's kinda cute, despite her glasses, stringy hair, and baggy clothes. Reminds Connor of a younger version of Fred, gawky and nerdy and awkward but with a hint of the beauty she might become.

CONNOR: Are they boyfriend and girlfriend?

DAWN: Edgar and Lacey? No. They're just friends. Why?

CONNOR: Edgar should make a move before it's too late. He'll be sorry if he lets her get away.

It's about an hour later. Buffy walks into Wood's office.

BUFFY: Here are the progress reports.

WOOD: Those go to Albert, the Vice-Principal. You know, bad cop.

BUFFY: Meaning you're good cop?

WOOD: Vice-Principal always does the dirty work. Lets the principal above the fray. That's how it always is.

BUFFY: Someone forgot to tell that to Principal Snyder. But it did work that way in middle school.

WOOD: You mean back in LA? Which reminds me of when I was looking over your Permanent Record.

BUFFY: That's really permanent? And I thought that would have been destroyed when I blew up the high school. Which of course I had a very good reason to do.

WOOD: School records go into storage during the summer. They weren't here during the impromptu demon-inspired demolition.

BUFFY: So it's really true. Your Permanent Record does follow you around your whole life?

WOOD: It exists. But it doesn't follow. No one cares. That's the cool thing about high school. Nothing you did there matters to anyone who didn't go to school with you. And juvenile police records are sealed, so any felonies you committed as a minor can't haunt you.

BUFFY: I didn't commit any crimes. Oh, that. There was a reason. And how did you know!? You just said it was sealed.

WOOD: I was in LA at the time, getting my Masters in Education from USC and teaching English lit at a run-down public school in South Central. I know, how cliched. I heard about the arson, and my mother's Watcher knew your Watcher, so he filled me in on the pertinent details. I thought it was cruel, how he set you up like that. Figured there had to be an easier way to get you down to Sunnydale.

BUFFY: You mean he WANTED to get me expelled? To cost me all my friends, screw up my family, ruin my life?

WOOD: No, the Council just wanted to get you to move to the Hellmouth. Like I said, there must have been an easier way.

BUFFY: So you knew about me from the beginning? Since I was 15? And you were, well, older than that, but still younger than – (she's about to say Angel, but wisely holds back). Gee. That makes are age difference seem a lot more unsettling than it does right now.

WOOD: I knew of you. Didn't actually see you or anything like that. You were called at 15? Granted, that would have been a bit R. Kelly of me – college guy checking out a teenager – which makes me glad that I didn't meet you until you were an adult. (He knows nothing of the backhanded insults he's giving Angel, and Buffy doesn't completely realize this subtext either.) I just heard about the expulsion, and pretty much had no idea of what you'd been up to since then, until I came to Sunnydale last summer. After I got my Masters I was in Milwaukee, then St. Louis, then New Orleans. Cutting me teeth, in a non-literal way. I've spent way too much time around vampires.

BUFFY: Tell me about it.

She means too much time fighting vampires. It's not conciously meant as a Spike or an Angel diss.

WOOD: And, for the record, I wouldn't have been attracted to you, if I saw you when you were younger. I don't see women who are young enough to be my students in that way. That would just be sick. Like a Watcher falling for his Slayer. Sorry if I'm babbling, but that little flashback put our currently slight age difference in a completely different, very distorted light.

BUFFY: Age is nothing more than a number. (she's had more than six years to convince herself of this.) And in our case, numbers which really aren't that far apart. It is SO not a problem for me. Emphasis on NOT.

WOOD: Does that mean you would like to go out with me this evening? I know it's sudden, but it's Friday, I thought you might be free tonight, and I promise we'll go to a restaurant that is not in a dark alley.

BUFFY: Another dinner date?

WOOD: Is that a problem?

BUFFY: No. No, it's just, I'm not accustomed to dinner dates. The previous men I've dated – very few previous men, I might add, two actually – weren't exactly into gourmet cooking. But that sounds nice. Looking forward to a pleasant, delicious evening, with a minimum of demon interruptions.

She was thinking of when they fought the vampires. He was thinking of when Spike barged in on their dinner. Buffy was stretching the truth when she claimed to only have two previous boyfriends. But she could have just meant she was involved with two guys (Angel, Spike) who didn't eat solid food. Or she could have meant she dated two human men. (Parker, Riley) Or she could have not counted Parker or Spike, and meant Angel and Riley, since these were the only two men who were officially her boyfriends.

Speaking of which, we now shift to the Hyperion. Since going bad, Angelus has turned the place into a decadent fin-de-siecle vampire hang-out.

Next: Angelus on the hunt, seducing and killing.


	6. Angelus in Action

We now shift to the Hyperion. Since going bad, Angelus has turned the place into a decadent fin-de-siecle vampire hang-out. The art deco lobby has been redone in sumptuous late-Victorian, with Persian rugs on the floor, Japanese prints on the walls, and dark velvet curtains draped here and there for dramatic effect. A few stylish female vampires are draped across fainting couches. Candelabras and lamps with lace coverings over them are placed on top of the furniture to heighten the mood. "Un bel di vedremo" from Puccini's "Madame Butterfly" echoes throughout the cavernous lobby/atrium. The sweet smell of opium smoke drifts upwards. All the killing is done in the numerous private hotel rooms or behind the curtains. Drinking in public would be too vulgar and animalistic for Angelus's aesthetic desires. He prefers brutality when it is beautiful. Plus, it would offer a less-than-inviting atmosphere for the humans, many of whom think this is some sort of trendy new night club for the beautiful people. This means the vampires keep on their human faces except when feeding. Now that the city has gone to Hell, refinement is almost non-existent. Which is one of the reasons Angelus is supplying it. Not only does it attract a better class of victim, but it also attracts a better class of vampire.

Angelus makes his entrance, coming down the stairs with a graceful and commanding swagger. Johann Strauss's "Vienna Blood" starts playing. He wears tight black pants, a silver silk button-down shirt which is not buttoned all the way up, a less casual version of the crushed black velvet jacket he wore in Sunnydale when he first met Buffy, and Bruno Magli shoes. His hair is a little spikier than when he was Angel, but by no means unkempt. He has on his bemused soulless smirk with the slightly raised eyebrows creating tiny creases on his broad forehead. Without the deep worry lines created by Angel's constant brooding, he looks about five years younger. A few very attractive, fashionable and lithe female vampires greet him in a most friendly manner. He brushes them aside curtly but politely. He's searching for fresh blood. He spots a very cute blonde looking around like it's her first time in the place. She's dressed in black Prada pants and jacket, looking very smart and sophisticated. He smiles and goes over to greet her.

ANGELUS: Welcome to the Hyperion. I'm Angelus, the owner of this establishment.

OLIVIA: I'm Olivia. And more than a little confused.

ANGELUS: You don't like what you see?

OLIVIA: I do. Just. There's no doorman. No cover.

ANGELUS: And the drinks are free. What would you like?

OLIVIA: A cosmopolitan. I guess. [Angelus signals the bartender]

ANGELUS: It's a private club which is open to the public. We make our money off of membership dues. It's free on certain nights in order to find new paying members. The decor and ambience attract the right people and repel the wrong ones. The fact that you are here, Olivia, only proves that point.

She smiles, a little embarrassed. Usually she doesn't like it when guys come on so strong. But Angelus's charm, as well as his looks, strip away her inhibitions.

OLIVIA: It's really, well, languorous. Like Disneyland. For bohemians. Ultra-retro bohemians. Definitely like nothing I've ever seen.

ANGELUS: I get that a lot. I thought our city could use some beauty at a time like this. After all, beauty is the language of the soul. Without it, we're just animals.

Olivia gets her drink.

OLIVIA: Beauty is truth, truth beauty. Like I haven't heard that line before. (Angelus is a little hurt by the put down, but turned on by the fact that she is beautiful and smart.) We're still animals. Animals who like pretty things.

ANGELUS: Nothing wrong with that. What kind of pretty things do you like?

OLIVIA: On the wall over there, that copy of Kitagawa's "Beauty with Fan and Parasol." [she laughs] And look. It's right next to Monet's "Les Japonaisses." How ironic.

ANGELUS: Actually I was going for dry wit. Tongue firmly in cheek, of course. I see you know a thing or two about painting.

He's absolutely thrilled. Finally, a woman who could appreciate his sophistication.

OLIVIA: Art history major. But I work in advertising.

ANGELUS: Sold you soul. [she laughs, clueless to the irony]

OLIVIA: I'm in design, not sales. I have my soul. I just prostitute it for a low six-figure income.

ANGELUS: I would have thought it was worth a lot more than that.

OLIVIA: Buyer's market, I suppose.

ANGELUS: Isn't it always? I should show you my private collection. Of artwork. I have several originals.

OLIVIA: By whom?

ANGELUS: You'd be amazed. Do you like the Impressionists?

OLIVIA: French? [she's shocked he'd have such priceless treasures.]

ANGELUS: Is there any other kind worth having?

Olivia's intrigued. She puts down her empty glass, and they take the elevator up to the fifth floor.

OLIVIA: Why is this deco? And why were the chandeliers also deco? Seems to clash with the rest of the decorations.

ANGELUS: That's the idea. Juxtaposition. I like to think of it as modern mannerism. Truthfully, it came deco. That's how it looks during the day. If there was daylight, I mean.

OLIVIA: What do you think is causing that?

ANGELUS: They always said the smog would get us. Remember that meteor shower? My guess is that it kicked up a lot of dust which combined with the pre-existing air pollution in a particularly nasty way. Or this is just God's way of punishing us for our wickedness.

The enter Angelus's suite.

OLIVIA: That looks like a Cezanne.

ANGELUS: It is. Let's just say I'm friends with a few influential private collectors. That was easy to spot. A bowl of fruit, who else could it be? What about that one?

OLIVIA: Almost looks like an early Renoir. Except I've never seen it before.

ANGELUS: He was ashamed of it. Wanted to burn it before he died. His friends talked him out of it. But he made them promise never to exhibit it. Thought it would diminish his stature.

Angelus picked up the Renoir from the artist himself, and got the Cezanne after killing the guy who bought it from the artist. This was back in Paris in the 1860s, Angelus's glory days, when his two women and the City of Lights inspired him to dizzying heights of exquisite mayhem. Dru actually loved Paris with Angelus. She only hated it when she went there later on with Spike. 1860s Paris was the best of all possible worlds to Angelus, a sublime moment from which there was no where to go but down, much like 1970s New York was to Spike.

OLIVIA: It's clearly not his best work, but it still shows his genius. The brush strokes are very transitional. Almost like a missing link in his artistic development. You're aware how much the Getty would pay for something like this?

ANGELUS: Don't need the money. Sometimes it's nice to have pretty things all for yourself.

OLIVIA: If you can afford to be that possessive.

ANGELUS: I always can. (Of course he's really talking about women)

OLIVIA: This is just, well, unbelievable. I'm not used to guys asking me to come up to their bedrooms to look at their priceless works of art. Is that a Monet over your headboard!?

Angelus puts the opening movement to Tchaikovsky's First Piano Concerto on his record player.

ANGELUS: Very late. Close to his death.

OLIVIA: You can tell by the extreme level of abstraction, how forms practically disappear into almost pure light and energy. The culmination of his lifelong stylistic evolution.

ANGELUS: Or it could be because by then he was nearly blind. [he chuckles] That one is my latest acquisition. I'm very proud of it.

It's a gift from Cordy. She told the Beast to fly to the house of the guy who owned it, kill him, and bring her the painting. Angelus is a kept man in more ways than one. Meanwhile, the romantic music swells to an ecstatic crescendo.

OLIVIA: Is it a little stuffy in here?

ANGELUS: Haven't noticed. The AC might be out. Probably feel better if you took off your coat.

They both take off their coats. She has a black short-sleeved collarless blouse on underneath. Removing the coat exposes the entirety of her swan-like neck. Angelus grins slyly. This is the part he loves best. The anticipation.

OLIVIA: That's a little better. Angelus. Is that your real name?

ANGELUS: It is. Suits me much better than my given name. "Liam." [he says this with a doltish dullness, as if Liam is a name fit for a hick or a provincial.]

OLIVIA: That it does. Angelus, this all a bit much, sweeping me off my feet like this. You seem too good to be true. You have to be.

ANGELUS: I could say the same thing about you, Olivia.

He moves right up next to her.

OLIVIA: Wow. You're good. Really, really –

Her heart's racing. He can hear it throbbing. She's completely overwhelmed, as Angelus knew she would be. She looks up at his angelic face, tentatively putting her hands on his chest. He seems so calm. Like he's not even breathing. This contrasts sharply with Olivia's nervous excitement. He gently runs his right hand through her long blonde hair. Now he starts getting excited, but tries his best to hide it.

ANGELUS: Close your eyes.

Olivia does this, thinking he's about to kiss her on the lips. Angelus goes bumpy and bites her on the right side of her neck. He can make it excruciating. But when he wants to, he's very good at making siring almost painless. Her heart's pumping much faster than usual, which means he has to drink for a shorter time. He bites quickly and deeply, so the feeling of the blood rushing out counteracts most of the pain. The blood loss quickly makes her lightheaded, inducing a vague, pleasant high. It's all part of his craft, making it almost as good for her as it is for him. When her pulse slows to below resting rate, Angelus stops drinking. He rolls up his right sleeve, bites his right wrist, and puts it up to her mouth. She drinks enthusiastically. When she's had enough, he pulls his arm back, bites down again on her neck, and finishes her off. He holds her limp body up with his right arm, then slowly lets it fall to the ground. Finished with his seduction, he sits down, soaks up the music, and marvels at his artistry.

But he won't have long to savor the moment. The second shift for Lindsey's men is about to begin. Eight trucks and 40 soldiers surround the block, led by Gunn, Wes, Fred and Lorne. By themselves, they were too afraid to take on Angelus and the numerous vampires who served him. But now that they have backup and firepower.

The second shift for Lindsey's men is about to begin. Eight trucks carrying 40 soldiers surround the block, led by Gunn, Wes, Fred and Lorne. By themselves, they were too afraid to take on Angelus and the numerous vampires who serve him. But now they have backup and firepower. The men in the trucks run down all the vampires outside, setting them on fire or zapping them and then staking them. Trying to get away from the war zone, some of the humans inside the Hyperion flee outside, where the soldiers with their infra-red detectors are able to distinguish them from vampires. Other humans decide to remain in the hotel, since all the explosions are occurring on the streets. Some cower in the corners, while other run up the stairs to the second and third floors. Angelus hears the noise. He looks out his fifth floor window, and figures it's the National Guard, who usually take to the streets in case of riots or local emergency. He thought they would have shown themselves days ago. But he's not worried. Not yet anyway.

While the soldiers gain control of the streets, Gunn, Wes, Fred and Lorne prepare to storm their old home. Each of them carries six wooden grenades, and a couple stakes. Wes has his shotgun, Fred a tranquilizer gun, Gunn his ax, and Lorne a tranquilizer pistol. Gunn and Fred take the front entrance, Wes and Lorne the back. They charge forward, tossing two grenades each into the courtyards. The vamps who aren't dusted by these are quickly dispatched with stakes, since they're too dazed and frightened to put up much resistance. Having secured the courtyards, each of them tosses their other four grenades through the front and rear glass doors. The sixteen grenades, all detonating in the lobby within ten seconds of each other, produce an enormous sound. Now Angelus is very, very worried.

Dozens of vampires are immediately exterminated, along with two human victims, ripped apart by the wooden shards. Angelus leaps down into the lobby, his now-untucked shirt billowing behind him like a silver cape. His four old colleagues entered only moments earlier. Before they get the chance to finish off any other vamps, they see Angelus, all bumpy and ready for battle, and charge him. Wesley comes at him from behind. Angelus spins around and leaps in the air, kicking Wes in the face. Wes goes down hard. Angelus turns, smiles, and runs at Gunn and Fred. Gunn steps up to fight his old boss. He tries to hit Angelus in the ribs with the ax, which would not kill him but would incapacitate him long enough for them to lock him up. But Angelus is too quick. Before Gunn can connect with the ax blade, Angelus has hit him in the face with eft and right hooks. Gunn drops the ax and nearly falls down. He's made woozy by the two might blows. Angelus grabs Gunn by the neck with his right hand, lifts him up, and chokes him. Fred has a dart gun pointed at Angelus, by he uses Gunn as a shield, preventing Fred from getting a clean shot. He laughs and walks up to Fred, holding Gunn in front of him. The idea is to make Fred think she's watching her former lover die.

Lorne is about 20 feet behind Angelus. He aims his dart gun and fires at Angelus's back. Right before it connects, a blue force field appears behind Angelus and the dart drops harmlessly to the ground.

LORNE: We can't hurt him! He's got a shield! We can't hurt him! Get out!! Get out!!!

Amidst all the noise and chaos, the others can't hear him. Lorne can't quite figure it out. Angelus could hurt humans, but could not be hurt by other demons. Lorne turns around. Wesley gets up, but is immediately set upon by two vampires. He reaches down and grabs his shotgun. He tries to bash one of them with its muzzle, but can't. The same thing happens when he tries to hit the other one with the butt end. Lorne runs over. He tries to strike one of the vampires, but can't. That vampire turns around and tries to punch Lorne, but can't. He realizes what the spell is. Nobody can hurt demons. Anybody can hurt humans. Problem is, he didn't know such a spell existed. Otherwise, demons would have started using it a long time ago. He grabs Wesley by the collar and starts to drag him away, knowing that the vampires can't stop him. When they're in the clear, Wesley stands up.

LORNE: They can't be hurt from inside. We have to get Fred and Charles out, and pronto.

WES: Just to be sure. [he pumps his shotgun and fires at Angelus's back. The pellets fall to the floor.] I'm sure. FRED!! CHARLES!! Get out!! You can't hurt him in here! We have to get out!

Fred is paying attention to Charles. She hears Wesley's voice but doesn't understand what he's saying. Gunn hears Wesley's news. Since he is being choked to death, it doesn't do him any good. But Angelus has no interest in killing Charles while letting Winifred get away. She's the one he really wants to sink his teeth into. He tosses Gunn to the ground. Gunn grabs his throat and gasps for air. Lorne and Wes run over, with Lorne in front as a shield. They grab Gunn and help him out to the courtyard.

WES: We have to get Fred! [she's the one he cares about. Not Gunn. And he's desperate to play her hero.]

LORNE: Wrong, Sherlock. I have to get Fred. You're as good as dead in there.

Lorne runs back in. Gunn and Wes run towards the front door. Lorne turns around and blocks their path from just inside the door. They try to push him out of the way, but can't. For the first time, Lorne is stronger than either of them. In fact, he is stronger than both of them put together. They reluctantly remain in the courtyard as Lorne tries to be the most unlikely of heroes.

After tossing aside Charles, Angelus looks up at Winifred and licks his lips. She stands above the stairs just inside the entrance. Fred turns and tries to make a run for it. Angelus leaps at her and grabs her before she can even get within reach of the door. He spins her around and holds her head up with his right hand so she can look at him. He's gone unbumpy, so she can see the face of Angel, the face of the hero who saved her in Pylea.

ANGELUS: Don't scream. That'll just make it worse.

She spits on his face. The shield doesn't protect him against that. With his right hand, he pulls her hair back as hard as he can without ripping it out by the roots. She starts crying from the pain. He loves it when they cry. He runs his left hand under her right eye, as if wiping away her tears.

ANGELUS: There, there baby. I'll make make it all better. I always do.

Then he licks the tears flowing down her cheeks, causing her to cringe. He knows no one can hurt him in there, and really wants to make this count, especially with Wes and Gunn watching helplessly. And he wants to do something that she'd never be able to forgive Angel for, if God forbid he came back. After all, Angelus wants to make everyone suffer, including Angel. His puts his left hand down her pants. She starts grimacing and looks nauseous.

ANGELUS: Come on Fred. Don't fight it. Give in. You've always wanted this. Deep down, part of you still does. Stop lying to yourself. Stop pretending I'm not getting you off.

He looks over Fred's shoulder at Wes and Gunn and smiles. Several vamps have charged them, but they threw them back inside. Now they have a clear view of Angelus and their beloved. He starts kissing her neck and he leers at Wesley, since he's the one who's never had her. Lorne tries to get past several vampires who block his path to Fred. He had hoped to grab her, inciting Angelus to try to hit him, which would make Angelus lose his grip on Fred. And once Lorne had her in his hands, Angelus couldn't get her back. But he can't push the vamps out of the way, and he can't maneuver around behind them since they're quicker than he is. Angelus goes bumpy, his yellow eyes and white fangs almost nodding hello to Wes and Gunn before he sinks his teeth into Fred. She cries out, not understanding why Charles and Wesley aren't trying to save her. After getting his first taste of her blood, he pulls up and smiles at Wes and Gunn, Fred's blood dripping from his lips and coating his teeth. He has every intention of siring her, taking something he thought of as pure and making it dirty and evil. He had always loved that game. Plus, having to try to kill vampire Fred would cause Wes and Gunn even further torment.

Lorne finally remembers his old secret weapon. Not sooner does Angel get his fangs back into her jugular than Lorne belts out an ear-piercing high note. With their sensitive ears, this is especially painful for vampires. Angelus stops biting Fred, and turns to see Lorne. He hangs onto Fred's left hand with his right hand, his grip too tight for her to pull away. He drags her towards Lorne and kicks him in the head. The blow knocks Lorne down, and he stops singing for a moment. Lorne is utterly flabbergasted. He thought he was protected. Angelus realizes the game is up. He can't kill Lorne and eat Fred too. He goes back to his human face. He pulls Fred close, like he's Rhett Butler and she's Scarlett O'hara, and he kisses her passionately on the lips. Then Lorne starts singing again. Angelus stops kissing Fred and throws her out the front door. Lorne stops singing and leaves. The glass in the front of the weapons case is shattered, as are most of the glasses, but Lorne didn't maintain the notes long enough to break any of the building's plate glass windows. Angelus leaps up to stand just inside the front entrance. He looks at Fred, smiles devilishly, and licks his lips.

ANGELUS: Was it good for you?

Wes, Gunn, Fred and Lorne retreat back to the safety of their armored personal carriers. Wes and Gunn try to comfort Fred. She pushes them away. For the moment she can't understand why they didn't rescue her. Also, she feels dirty on account of everything Angelus did to her. Her soldiers don't know what transpired, so she feels comfortable around them. She tries to put the attack behind her and become all business, turning her hurt into rage. Any vampire who crosses her path at this moment is in for a world of trouble.

Inside the Hyperion, Angelus tries to restore order.

ANGELUS: Will all of you calm down? Quiet!! Stop!!! Everything is fine. [he grabs vampires who are trying to leave] When the enemy is outside the gates, you stay the hell inside. Why run into the lion's mouth? Come on! This is still the safest place in the world for vampires. [vampires start streaming in, fleeing the soldiers, only proving Angelus's point.] See what I mean? The Hyperion is a sanctuary. We're going to put the music back on, get the drinks flowing again, and we're going to have a good time. If everyone is not having fun real soon, I'm going to start staking people.

He grabs Gunn's ax and beheads a vampire who looks frightened. The music comes back on. The vampires start to pretend to be enjoying themselves, fearful of Angelus's wrath. During the panic of the raid they drank all the humans who remained inside, included the two "friendly fire" casualties. This means they have no more victims, making it harder to pretend they're happy. Angelus sees all the dust on the floor and is puzzled. He picks up a handful of wooden shards and figures out what killed them. He runs up to his room and looks out the window. The trucks are leaving. The coast is clear. He puts Olivia on the bed and starts undressing her to pass the time and make himself happy again. Cordy talks to him telepathically. She's given up on throwing her voice. It's much more fun for Cordy when Angelus knows he is her bitch.

CORDY: Is my boy sad?

ANGELUS: Don't call me that.

CORDY: Right. You don't want me to make you feel like Connor. Funny, cause you used to want nothing more than to feel exactly what I make Connor felt. The evening of the fireworks, for instance. Why does my chiseled hunk of salty goodness sound so sad?

ANGELUS: They could hurt us. Inside.

CORDY: Not possible.

ANGELUS: They tossed bombs in here. From the courtyards. I thought those areas were covered.

CORDY: So did I. It's inside the facade. Oh well. Guess they're not part of the package.

ANGELUS: If they can get that close, what's the point?

As he's talking, he's undressing and fondling Olivia. A rather crude and artless part of his modus operandi.

CORDY: Take a pill, stallion. I'll fix it. Be there in an hour. Have you seen Connor?

ANGELUS: You mean he's no longer resting his worried head on mommy's comforting bosom?

CORDY: I think he knows.

ANGELUS: About the baby?

CORDY: I wish. Then I'd have him totally in my power. I think he knows what side I'm on.

ANGELUS: He figured out you're the head bitch in charge of everything that makes his life suck? Didn't know he was that quick on the uptake. Let's face it. The boy is easy to fool.

CORDY: He doesn't know that much. Doesn't know about me and you. Doesn't know about me and Red Rock. But I could see it in his eyes. Think it was three days ago. You know how hard it is to keep those things straight, since we don't have days anymore. He looked suspicious. Like maybe he no longer trusted me.

ANGELUS: Or maybe you didn't give him a second helping soon enough and he got tired of waiting.

CORDY: If that was the problem, he did a stupid thing, cause I was just about to let him have another go. Right after I told him about our baby.

ANGELUS: You stalled too long and you blew it. All in the timing. Classic rookie mistake. Guess even the Master can screw up.

CORDY: Don't make me pull rank on you. Maybe I'll hold off on that protection spell. Make you remember who serves who.

Angelus has Olivia naked by now. Whenever Cordy reminds him he is under her power, he needs to be around someone who is under his power. Otherwise, Queen C is just plain emasculating.

ANGELUS: Just trying to give you some pointers, boss. Thought providing you with the benefit of my expertise was the best way I could serve you.

CORDY: And?

ANGELUS: And I'm helpless without you. I need you Cordy. Save me. Before it's too late. Please. I'm begging you, Master.

He delivers these lines with obvious scorn, like he's going through the motions of pretending to play a part he hates. Meanwhile he's on top of Olivia, compensating for the groveling he has to do for Cordy. Of course, the disgusting display only compounds his loss of dignity. But Angelus can't resist a freebie. Helpless is such a turn-on for him.

CORDY: Be by soon, champ.

It's 3 pm. School has ended. Wood is working in his office. He hears loud rumblings from below. A giant serpent's head bursts up through his desk. He gets up out of his chair and jumps back. Green tentacles rise up through the remnants of the shattered desk. He opens his weapons case and grabs a sword. The monster's head shoots at him, its jaws wide open. He slices just in time and beheads the creature. It disappears. As does its handiwork. The desk is completely unscathed, looking just as it did before the monster appeared. Wood stands there, his back against the wall, breathing fast and trying to calm down from this most sudden and unexplainable of shocks.

After regaining his composure, he walks across the hall. Buffy is still at her desk. She sees Robin and can tell he's shaken up.

WOOD: Something just happened in my office which you should know about.

He tells her, and Buffy calls Giles, who gets there as fast as possible. The three of them stand around the desk.

WOOD: Did this ever happen at the old school?

GILES: Yes. But not without warning. Not during the daytime. And not without leaving a trace. You sure this wasn't an apparition, a vision perhaps?

Wood shows him the blade of the sword, which is coated in green slime.

WOOD: This didn't come from an apparition.

GILES: Fair enough. I think it's obvious our answer lies beneath.

They go into the basement. The seal has been broken. Metal shards are strewn in all directions. In its place is a slightly depressed circle of earth. Giles puts his foot in it, then gets on his knees and digs his hands into it.

GILES: There's no bedrock. Not even any solid packed earth. Something bored its way up, shattered the seal with incredible force, and left behind this pit of back fill.

He looks straight up. There is no damage on the ceiling which the monster burst through on its way up to the Principal's office.

BUFFY: Why would it only cover its tracks above the basement floor? If it could put Robin's desk and his floor back together, why not the seal?

GILES: That's a good question. It may help us figure out what we are dealing with.

WOOD: You said this sort of thing's struck before. What happened then?

GILES: The world almost ended.

BUFFY: You really think the Hellmouth's having a grand reopening?

GILES: It is long overdue.

WOOD: And how do we stop this cataclysm you two are bandying on about so glibly?

BUFFY: This is the part where Giles consults his books. You still have books, right?

GILES: The Bringers didn't get their hands on my personal library, which I suppose is now the Council Library, since the Council Library is no more. I stowed them away in your attic.

They walk out of the basement.

WOOD: The books are at Buffy's house. Is there Scotch at Buffy's house?

GILES: I believe I brought over a few bottles. Why?

WOOD: I think maybe I'll be needing it.

Buffy's house. Buffy, Xander and Willow are in the kitchen. Giles and Wood are sitting at the dining room table. The Potentials are in the living room.

WILLOW: An apocalypse? At the school? Again?

BUFFY: Yes. Yes. And yes. Probably.

XANDER: Is it a bunch of demons trying to open the Hellmouth, or one demon rising from the earth trying to do it himself?

BUFFY: I'm not sure. Robin said it was like a hydra coming straight out of the Hellmouth.

WILLOW: Oh! So it's like that one! You know, during the full moon. That was a scary one.

XANDER: Which one?

WILLOW: The one you missed.

XANDER: Well, I wouldn't say I – is it tonight?

BUFFY: Giles is trying to work that part out.

WOOD: Any luck, Rupert?

GiLES: It's all very fragmentary. Incoherent in parts. Can't quite put it together.

WOOD: What is it?

GILES: Liao Bing. He mentions a phenomena similar to what you described.

WOOD: Liao's from the later Han Dynasty, right?

GILES: I believe so.

WOOD: That mean it's Middle Chinese script.

GILES: Yes. Of course! How foolish of me. I assumed the texts were Late Chinese. That's why I'm picking up so many words that don't quite fit. I'm just misinterpreting some of the characters. That helps enormously. Thank you, Robin. How do you know about Liao Bing?

WOOD: When you're raised by a Watcher, you pick up a few things.

GILES: Curious. I was also raised by a Watcher, and I picked up nothing from my father. It's all beginning to fit together. Like a big jigsaw puzzle, and now that I know what the pieces are, I can put them together properly. Shouldn't take me too long to place the column fragments in their proper order. Once again, thank you for pointing out my careless oversight. If I kept translating using the wrong script, we'd probably still be here when the world ended.

KENNEDY: So what's the 411 on our imminent doom? The girls are getting worried.

WILLOW: It's nothing, sweetie. No, it's a lot of something. But nothing they should worry about. We'll handle it. Just like we always do.

AMANDA: Giles looks really worried. And Principal Wood looks even more really worried.

RONA: It's not about something new trying to kill us. If it were, Buffy would be glancing back at us every minute or so.

VI: Then what is it about, if not us? Aren't we suppose to be like the eye of the storm?

MOLLY: Dawn told me about a few times when Buffy had to save the world. Prevent the demons from completely taking over and making it hell, or something along those lines. I bet that's wot's got everyone so dour and frantic.

RONA: Who's trying to end the world?

VI: My guess would be the First.

AMANDA: Doubt it. If you want to end the world, why bother knocking off a few girls? We can't stop the world from ending. Right now. we're nothing. But to the First we're something.

MOLLY: So if it's naught the First, then who is it?

Fred's team is out on the hunt.

CURTIS: We got a bunch in that building on the left. 30 at least.

FRED: It's a demon bar. Undead fish in a barrel. Sardines. Go in strong. Make sure nothing gets out.

The two trucks halt and eight soldiers get out and move into position. The other two work the napalm guns on the trucks. They fire in a few canisters to set things in motion. The soldiers on the ground toss in a few grenades. After these detonate, they storm the place. Vampires are on fire. They zap and stake those who are moving. The two soldiers who were manning the napalm guns block the exits — one in front, one in back. Fred also stands in front, holding a large poleaxe. Two vampires run out, terrified. The soldier gets out of the truck and stakes one. Fred slices the other one's head with her ax blade. But she slices downwards, splitting its head, neck, and upper chest longitudinally. The vampire tumbles to the ground. She hits it again, cutting it all the way down through the waist. The vampire is now cut in two. But since it has neither been staked nor beheaded, it is still alive and squirming. Well, its two halves are. After watching for a few seconds, Fred decapitates each half. The vampire turns to dust. The soldier looks at her like she's nuts, or at least sadistic.

FRED: Go guard the truck.

He does what he is told. The fact that she's holding a very large and very bloody weapon mitigates against the young man objecting. Angelus violated and humiliated Fred. She has to take it out on someone. She can't take it out on Angelus, even if she had the chance, since they need Angel back. So she takes it out on other vampires, makes them suffer. Angelus made her feel helpless. That's what she's going to make other vampires feel. At least for the next few hours.

Buffy's Kitchen

GILES: I have excellent news! The world is not going to end tonight.

ANYA: Talk about lowering your expectations.

GILES: It might, however, end tomorrow night.

ANYA: Which gives us just enough time to do something wild and crazy. Something we won't have to regret when the world is gone. That reminds me, I'm going out with Spike tonight.

BUFFY: Where? When did this happen?

ANYA: The Bronze. Spike asked me last night. And why is it any of your business?

Xander is worried Buffy still has feelings for Spike

XANDER: That's a very good question. Is this your plan? Dump Connor so you can take another shot with Spike?

WILLOW: Can we get back to the world ending?

GILES: Thank you, Willow. But your little diversion made me realize there are more unpleasant things to talk about than imminent armageddon. Spike's love life, for example. The operation's rather simple. About three hours before midnight tomorrow, the Hellbeast begins to emerge. The monster has a long, serpentine body with massive jaws. It possesses the ability to generate side heads and limbs for the purpose of self-protection. We have to cut the beast's body in half. To do that, we must fight our way through these flank defenses. The creature is supposedly close to 100 feet long. But we will only be fight its front portion. The monster is a spearhead, clearing the path for all Hell's creatures. Once it gets its entire body out of the hole, the Hellmouth is opened and the earth will be overrun by demons. We will kill it before that can happen.

BUFFY: What I don't understand is, why the disappearing act? Why give us a warning?

GILES: I suspect it was attempting to clear the area of potential enemies. It attacks humans in its vicinity to frighten them and convince them to vacate the area. Then when it rises for real, no one is around to stop it. The ability to vanish, and to erase all traces of its presence, is unique to this particular Hellbeast. This made it very easy to identify.

WOOD: How did Liao know about this creature? The Hellmouth's here, not in China.

GILES: It was in China. The Hellmouth shifts periodically. We believe it appeared in central China during the Autumn Warring States period and left in the mid second century. Liao was commemorating this event, which was seen as a triumph of the emperor over the demons.

XANDER: The Hellmouth travels? When did it settle down in our corner of the planet?

GILES: Probably around 1300. The sudden destruction of the Anasazi civilization is usually used as the starting point. We know that many Anasazi settlements were violently destroyed, that large numbers of the people were slaughtered and eaten, possibly by demons. When the Hellmouth arrives, it bursts forth unfocused chaos and destruction. Nothing powerful enough to destroy the world, but powerful enough to destroy or at least seriously disrupt the human societies in the Hellmouth's vicinity. After that, there is a long period of buildup, as the Hellmouth gradually increases its strength. The longer it resides in any one place, the more powerful it becomes. Usually it stays put for 200 to 400 years. It's been here for 700 years, far longer than at any other location in recorded history. It's never gotten this strong before, never been so persistent in its attempts to reclaim this dimension for the demons.

WILLOW: Why does it move in the first place? Boredom? Demony wanderlust?

GILES: It needs to interact with the human population, to feed off them. Too few humans in an area, and it doesn't get very strong. Too many humans, and they are able to organize and fight off the demons. Which is what happened in China, and in other advanced, densely populated societies where the Hellmouth has popped up throughout recorded history: India, Mesopotamia, Egypt. When faced with organized and determined resistance, the Hellmouth weakens and moves to a more hospitable location.

XANDER: You mean if it can driven away?

GILES: Precisely. The Hellmouth needs a balance. Enough people to feed it, but not enough people to fight it. It found such a balance in Sunnydale. Southern California had a sizable indigenous population, densely populated in the pre-Colombian context, but thinly settled by modern standards. The Spanish colonized the region in the late-18th century, replacing the indigenous population with colonial settlers. Settlement patterns remained agricultural when the Americans started arriving after 1850. All the while, the balance was maintained. The Hellmouth fed and grew and did not face serious opposition. Sunnydale was too far from San Diego or Los Angeles to be affected by their explosive growth after 1900. The town only became substantial within the last 50 years. The ten-fold increase in population over the next three decades, from 3,000 to 30,000 only made it that much stronger. Eventually it became so powerful only a Slayer could contain it.

WILLOW: Why did the Council wait so long to do something about this massive, festering, world-destroying evil? Why didn't they send a Slayer earlier? You know, when it was a little less powerful.

GILES: Because the Slayer has to blend in, to maintain some semblance of a secret identity in the community where she resides. This is why Slayers fight where they lived prior to being called. If the Hellmouth was in Ulan Bator, and I took Buffy to Mongolia, she would stick out. As would a Mongolian Slayer if she were brought to Southern California. For 30 years, the Council hoped for a Slayer to rise in this region. Buffy was the first to fit the bill.

BUFFY: So the tweed set in London had been waiting their whole lives for me.

WILLOW: You were the answer to their prayers.

BUFFY: No wonder they were so disappointed with me.

GILES: I was pleasantly surprised. Having never been to the area, I feared you would be some dreadfully vacuous Valley Girl stereotype. And with a name like Buffy, I was expecting the worst. So you can imagine my relief when I discovered that you were an intelligent, capable young woman rather than a crude, slightly anachronistic caricature.

BUFFY: Why does everyone rag on my name?

ANYA: It ends in a Y. No one with a name that ends in a Y can be taken seriously. Unless it ends in an EY, or an AY. Names that end in Y sound silly.

WILLOW: What about Glory?

BUFFY: Now you're only proving her stupid point. You said the Hellmouth can be fought off. You mean we can defeat it? Eventually? Soon?

GILES: By the time you arrived, it had built up unprecedented stores of energy. Much of that energy has been expended over the intervening years. At some point, it will stop, and the Hellmouth will shift to another location, but probably with substantially reduced capabilities. We don't know for sure. As I said, it's never been in one place this long. There is always the remote possibility that it could burn itself out. Of course that is baseless conjecture.

BUFFY: No more Hellmouth. No more evil? But if we defeat the source of all evil, what happens next?

GILES: We're still here. Perhaps the Hellmouth is somewhere else. Evil won't be defeated. And it is dangerously delusional to believe such a feat is even possible. You don't fight evil. You fight demons. You fight for survival. The survival of the people you love. That's all you've ever done. That's all anyone can do.

It would be a while before Olivia rose. Angelus was bored. He had time to kill. Literally. With the soldiers gone, he felt free to roam the streets. It was getting harder and harder to find victims. People learned to stay home. Only the looters seemed happy to be outdoors. Angelus traveled far from his base. He wasn't just looking for an easy kill. He was looking for some fun. Then he heard sounds of a struggle. He climbed onto the roof of a two-story building and tried to see what was happening. He realized it was his lucky day.

There was Justine, fighting vampires. Fighting two vampires at once, actually. Permanent midnight and all the easy pickings which followed made most vampires complacent. And all the recent fighting had honed Justine's skills. One vampire grabbed her arms from behind, while the one in front punched her. Justine hit the one behind her with the back of her head, breaking free from his grasp. She nailed this vampire with a spin kick, sending him into the wall. The other vampire threw a right punch, which she blocked. She hit this vampire with a right jab and a left spin kick. She grabbed him, tossed him into the other vampire, and staked them both together. Angelus jumped down from the roof and walked over to her, slowing clapping his hands.

ANGELUS: Excellent work Justine. Holtz would be so proud of you. Look on the bright side. Unlike him, you'll die fighting.

JUSTINE: Doesn't mean I'll tonight, Angelus.

ANGELUS: You've heard about my return.

JUSTINE: You've done just about everything to announce your presence short of putting up a billboard on the Sunset Strip. Have you hired a publicist?

ANGELUS: Already have Cordy. By the way, before I kill you, just wanted to know, you seen Connor around?

JUSTINE: He was taking beatings in West Hollywood a few days back. Doesn't wait for the vampire gangs to split up and forage before attacking them. I thought of helping him out, but I figured he might try to kill me. You know how volatile your boy can be. He still have that taser I gave him? Wonder when he'll use it on you again. Wesley has the box. And the keys to my boat. I'd watch your back if I were you.

ANGELUS: And if I were you, I'd scream and run away. Won't save you. But after a good chase I usually make it a quick death.

JUSTINE: From what Holtz told me, you're usually the one who does the running.

ANGELUS: Wow. You really do think you are a Slayer. Got the death wish and everything. Accept, you know, the strength, the talent, the ability to make this fight even remotely interesting. [He steps right up to her] I'll even give you the first shot.

Angelus expects her to go for the face. Instead, she hits him in the stomach with a quick left, then in the face with a right hook. He takes a step back and goes bumpy.

ANGELUS: Is that the best you can do?

Hits her with a thunderous right. Then a powerful left. She staggers, her knees buckle, but she doesn't go down. Angelus approaches, and Justine kicks him in the face. He decides to actually try, and decks her with a right spin kick. She sweeps out his legs and gets up. Justine tries to kick Angelus while he's on the ground, he grabs her foot and pushes her away. When he gets up, she kicks him in the chin. He tries to kick her in the head, but she ducks and kicks him in the groin. Then she connects with a right uppercut. Angelus answers with a left cross. Justine takes the punch but stays on the attack, landing a left jab to Angelus's mouth and a right kick to his stomach. He bends forward, and she pulls out her stake with her left hand. She tries to thrust it home. Angelus grabs it with his left hand when the point is six inches from his chest. He pulls Justine's left arm behind her back and thrusts her face-first into the wall.

ANGELUS: Do you have any idea how dangerous these things are?

He pulls the stake away with his right hand, spins Justine around, and stabs her in the right eye.

ANGELUS: You can take an eye out.

He steps back and laughs. The stake went clear through her right eyeball and is lodged in the socket. Justine staggers forward, in massive pain. Angelus circles round her.

ANGELUS: I stand corrected. You have made this fight interesting.

Justine reaches up with her right hand, grits her teeth, and pulls the stake out. She bends her knees, looks at Angelus with her one eye, and gives every indication she will continue fighting, despite her grievous injury.

ANGELUS: Tell you what. I'll let you walk. Don't like killing the handicapped.

He backs away. She charges. She hits him in the face with a left hook. Angelus is shocked.

ANGELUS: I'll be dammed. You got more stones than Holtz ever did.

She tries to stake him. Angelus grabs her right arm and tosses her to the ground.

ANGELUS: Now all your friends and admirers will know you died a hero. Except, you don't have any. What a shame to die and have nobody care.

Justine throws the stake down. She struggles forward and hits Angelus with a right hook. She tries a left jab, but he blocks it. He throws a right kick, but she moves back out of the way. Angelus decides to try once again. She blocks a left kick of his. He lands left and right punches, then connects with a powerful right kick to her ribs. She throws a wild right. It is clear she is disoriented from shock, not to mention the beating she's taken and the loss of depth perception from having only one eye. Angelus avoids her haymaker and lands a right punch to the spot where he just kicked her. He hears two of her ribs crack. Yet she won't go down. Instead, she hits Angelus in the stomach with a left punch. He's had enough. He grabs Justine with both arms, lifts her up, and tosses her down on her back with enough force to keep her from getting up. Then he picks up her stake. When she sits up and tries to bend her knees in order to stand up, he stakes her in her left eye. He pulls the stake out and tosses it away. Justine gets on her knees and puts her hands down on the ground. She is completely blind, and in unimaginable pain.

ANGELUS: At this point, it's not murder. It's mercy. That's why I won't do it. Unless you ask me to. Go ahead. Beg me to put you out of your misery. You can't go on living. Not like this. You know that. All you have to do is say the word, and it's all over.

Angelus is pleased with how this has turned out. He improvised something more brilliant than he ever could have planned ahead of time. To him, this was artistry at its most brutal. Justine raised her head and looked in the direction of Angelus's voice. He looked down into the dark red holes where her eyes once were. What degradation. What humiliation. And for Angelus, what joy. But Justine still had something left to prove.

JUSTINE: For all your power, there's still one thing you can't take away from me.

She stood up, and walked towards Angelus. He froze in shock. She looked like a zombie.

ANGELUS: I don't want your lousy soul.

She walked towards his voice, and held her arms out. When she touched him, she wrapped her arms around his neck.

JUSTINE: That's not what I meant. You'll understand, when you're Angel again. He knows what I'm talking about.

ANGELUS: Give Holtz my regards in Hell.

Justine head-butts Angelus in the chin. He bites her neck and drains her. While the life is being sucked out of her, Justine grips her hands together behind Angelus's neck. This assures that she'll die on her feet. It also means that once she's dead and Angelus stops drinking, she's still hanging onto him. Angelus finds this tremendously annoying. Her head rests against his chest. Blood from her eye sockets leaks out onto his clothes. She's ruining a gloriously gory kill. This was also her intention. Angelus picks up Justine's body and tosses it to the ground. Her hands are still clasped together, making it look like she died praying. Almost like some early Christian martyr who was horribly killed by heathen savages.

ANGELUS: Been a while since I worked the eyes. Usually I used a spoon. So much less mess. But Justine. Justine. You were always a mess. Rather fitting, I suppose.

Then he hears her voice again in his head.

CORDY: Is my bad man feeling good again?

ANGELUS: I was savoring a kill. Do you mind? This is a very private moment.

CORDY: They'll be plenty of time to savor your next kill. Trust me. He'll be worth it.

ANGELUS: Enough with the pronouns. I'm not in the mood for surprises.

CORDY: I've decided that three men is one more than I can handle.

Dawn is in her bedroom, talking on the phone.

KIT: You going to the party?

DAWN: No. I have plans. With Connor.

KIT: Really!? Way to go Dawny. What sort of plans does he have in mind? (demon fighting, of course.)

DAWN: You know. Hanging out. Talking.

KIT: Why don't you bring him?

DAWN: I don't think he likes crowds.

KIT: Or he wants to be alone with you.

DAWN: Kit, come one. It's not like that. This isn't a date. He's not my boyfriend. Not even close.

KIT: Bet you wish he was.

DAWN: So. Doesn't mean I want to push things too far, wig him out. I don't even know if he likes me that way.

KIT: He asked you out. On a Friday night. Need I say more?

DAWN: With Connor, yes. In case you haven't noticed, he's not like other guys. He's more than a little odd.

KIT: That's not always a bad thing. Just don't bring any green kryptonite in your purse, and I'm sure everything will go great.

Spike is asleep in his crypt. He hears the television. Connor's entered, and he's surfing through the channels.

SPIKE: Bugger all. Can't a man rest in peace in his own bloody crypt? Just because you don't need an invitation doesn't mean you can barge in any time you bloody well please.

CONNOR: At least you don't sleep in a coffin. Do vampires really do that?

SPIKE: Only the sorriest of the lot.

CONNOR: And that doesn't include you?

SPIKE Keep that up, and I'll give you something to go crying home to mommy about.

It would be delightful if that could actually happen. Darla wasn't very fond of Spike to begin with.

CONNOR: Just saying. You live in a tomb. You're halfway there.

SPIKES: Helps to have your ear to the ground in this town. Live in some post-modern nightmare mansion on the hill, and maybe you arrive a little late when the next big bad starts snacking on the locals. You must have come here for a better reason than to slag my flat.

Connor pauses. He doesn't know what slag means, and flat seems out of place in that context.

CONNOR: I dunno. Thought we could train.

SPIKE: So you're a masochist. Sounds like you need to find yourself a sadist. Currently, that's not my cup-a-tea.

Connor had the best sadist Spike ever knew in Angelus. Which is one of the reasons Connor skipped town. Connor peruses Spike's things.

CONNOR: Got anything good to read? "Either/Or"? Either or what?

SPIKE: That's Kierkegaard. Great sense of humor. Wrote a whole book celebrating a guy who tried to kill his son.

Connor puts the book back. He decides he doesn't like Kierkegaard. Holtz told Connor lots of Bible stories, but specifically avoided the one where God tells Abraham to murder his miracle child Isaac. Thought that might be too traumatic for miracle child Connor.

CONNOR: "Beyond Good and Evil." Sounds like it's about vampires.

SPIKE: That's what plenty of bloodsuckers like to think. Too bad the sad sack who wrote it didn't know about our kind. Probably woulda wanted to join up. Sure beats dying of syphilis.

Connor doesn't know that's what Darla was dying from. Of course Spike wasn't even referring to her.

CONNOR: Need something to pass the time. Forgot how boring daytime can be.

He takes the book and heads back home to read it.

SPIKE: That is the last boy who should be reading Nietzsche. Talk about creating a monster.

Spike shrugs and goes back to sleep.

Next: Angelus visits Our Lady of the Angels. Plus, Buffy gets her first excuse to kick Connor's ass.


	7. Dangerous Boys

Connor takes Dawn vampire hunting. When Buffy finds out, Connor will be in deep, deep trouble.

Dawn is in her bedroom, talking on the phone.

KIT: You going to the party?

DAWN: No. I have plans. With Connor.

KIT: Really!? Way to go Dawny. What sort of plans does he have in mind? (demon fighting, of course.)

DAWN: You know. Hanging out. Talking.

KIT: Why don't you bring him?

DAWN: I don't think he likes crowds.

KIT: Or he wants to be alone with you.

DAWN: Kit, come one. It's not like that. This isn't a date. He's not my boyfriend. Not even close.

KIT: Bet you wish he was.

DAWN: So. Doesn't mean I want to push things too far, wig him out. I don't even know if he likes me that way.

KIT: He asked you out. On a Friday night. Need I say more?

DAWN: With Connor, yes. In case you haven't noticed, he's not like other guys. He's more than a little odd.

KIT: That's not always a bad thing. Just don't bring any green kryptonite in your purse, and I'm sure everything will go great.

Spike is asleep in his crypt. He hears the television. Connor's entered, and he's surfing through the channels.

SPIKE: Bugger all. Can't a man rest in peace in his own bloody crypt? Just because you don't need an invitation doesn't mean you can barge in any time you bloody well please.

CONNOR: At least you don't sleep in a coffin. Do vampires really do that?

SPIKE: Only the sorriest of the lot.

CONNOR: And that doesn't include you?

SPIKE Keep that up, and I'll give you something to go crying home to mommy about.

It would be delightful if that could actually happen. Darla wasn't very fond of Spike to begin with.

CONNOR: Just saying. You live in a tomb. You're halfway there.

SPIKES: Helps to have your ear to the ground in this town. Live in some post-modern nightmare mansion on the hill, and maybe you arrive a little late when the next big bad starts snacking on the locals. You must have come here for a better reason than to slag my flat.

Connor pauses. He doesn't know what slag means, and flat seems out of place in that context.

CONNOR: I dunno. Thought we could train.

SPIKE: So you're a masochist. Sounds like you need to find yourself a sadist. Currently, that's not my cup-a-tea.

Connor had the best sadist Spike ever knew in Angelus. Which is one of the reasons Connor skipped town. Connor peruses Spike's things.

CONNOR: Got anything good to read? "Either/Or"? Either or what?

SPIKE: That's Kierkegaard. Great sense of humor. Wrote a whole book celebrating a guy who tried to kill his son.

Connor puts the book back. He decides he doesn't like Kierkegaard. Holtz told Connor lots of Bible stories, but specifically avoided the one where God tells Abraham to murder his miracle child Isaac. Thought that might be too traumatic for miracle child Connor.

CONNOR: "Beyond Good and Evil." Sounds like it's about vampires.

SPIKE: That's what plenty of bloodsuckers like to think. Too bad the sad sack who wrote it didn't know about our kind. Probably woulda wanted to join up. Sure beats dying of syphilis.

Connor doesn't know that's what Darla was dying from. Of course Spike wasn't even referring to her.

CONNOR: Need something to pass the time. Forgot how boring daytime can be.

He takes the book and heads back home to read it.

SPIKE: That is the last boy who should be reading Nietzsche. Talk about creating a monster.

Spike shrugs and goes back to sleep.

Next: Angelus visits Our Lady of the Angels. Plus, Buffy gets her first excuse to kick Connor's ass.

Angelus enters the Our Lady of the Angels cathedral, which is about three miles from the Hyperion. The massive box-like concrete and alabaster structure is 95 feet tall and 330 feet long, and has no windows. Unlike most cathedrals, the altar and the entrance are on the same side. The entrance leads to a hallway which runs the length of the building. Angelus walks down this hallway. To his right is the nave. When he gets to the other end, he makes a right and enters the rear of the nave. 300 feet in front of him is a giant concrete crucifix.

ANGELUS: Angel used to like to come here during the daytime. The alabaster filtered out enough of the sunlight so it wouldn't burn him. I've always had a certain affinity for the Church. "Take this blood and drink it. This is my blood, the blood of a new and everlasting life." Same thing I always told my disciples. Have to admit, I am pleasantly surprised by your choice of venue. Didn't know you had a taste for modern architecture. Or a sense of humor. After all, you are the Lady of Angelus.

CORDY: The one and only.

She comes up from behind and puts her right hand down the front of his trousers. Then she moves in front of him.

CORDY: Is that a demon-killing dagger in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

ANGELUS: See for yourself.

Cordy reaches back in, "searches around" for about five seconds, pulls out the dagger, and puts it in Angelus's right hand.

CORDY: Make me proud.

Angelus disappears into the hallway which runs parallel to the nave. Cordy walks towards the altar. The Beast drops through the ceiling and lands right in front of the altar. Cordy groans.

CORDY: Just once, couldn't you use the door?

BEAST: You wish for me to defile this sacred space.

CORDY: You're going to offer a sacrifice. To me. As a token of your infinite gratitude. But first, I want to give you a small token of my gratitude for everything you've done for me.

Cordy reaches up, grabs the Beast's head, pulls it down towards hers, and kisses him on the lips. Angelus walked back towards the entrance, which is next to the altar. It is this feature which makes this particular church ideal for an ambush. While the Beast is kissing Cordy, Angelus turns left and dashes over to the altar. He stabs the Beast in the back with a knife made from his own skin. An orange light appears around the wound. The Beast's body begins the disintegrate. Cordy keeps kissing him. She sucks the energy from inside him into herself. This keeps the sun from reappearing. After about 15 seconds, the Beast is nothing but rubble on the altar, and Cordy has absorbed all his energy.

CORDY: Wow. That was some kiss. Bet you could do better.

Cordy grabs Angelus and kisses him in the passionate, slightly gross way that evil beings tend to kiss one another. Then she throws him on the altar, on top of the Beast's remains. She gets on top, straddles him and rips open his shirt.

ANGELUS: Now this is my kind of fun.

CORDY: If only Connor were here to watch.

ANGELUS: Tied up on that cross. Looking down at us. Now that would be priceless.

CORDY: After the baby is born. Then I'm all yours.

Cordy gets up and walks away. Angelus lies there for a minute. He doesn't like to get worked up for nothing. But he knows where to go for a little action.

Dawn is walking down Main Street with Connor.

DAWN: Where do you wanna go tonight?

CONNOR: I dunno. Maybe the Bronze.

DAWN: You think there'd be vampires there?

CONNOR: If I were a vampire in this town, that's the first place I'd go.

DAWN: So what do you do when you're not killing demons?

CONNOR: Talk to people. Read stuff. See movies. I like seeing them indoors. That way the helicopters can't get you.

DAWN: Helicopters!?

CONNOR: First movie I ever saw, they came down and tried to kidnap me. After that I didn't like seeing movies outside.

DAWN: That must have been traumatic.

CONNOR: Wasn't so bad. We fought them off. Just humans. Evil humans, I guess.

DAWN: Evil people without any special powers. I've heard those existed.

CONNOR: Thing is, vampires also like going to movies in the daytime. All that darkness. All those victims they can ambush. So sometimes I go there to relax from demon fighting and end up fighting more demons.

DAWN: You'll find that happens a lot in this town.

Five vampires, three males and two females, crouch down on the roof of a two-story building along Main Street, about half a block in front of Connor and Dawn.

JERRY: You sure that's him?

LAWRENCE: That's the boy who thinks he's the Slayer.

RALPH: He thinks he's a chick?

LAWRENCE: No, dumbass. He fights vampires for no good reason. Just like the real Slayer. Except he gets his ass kicked. Saw it myself on the Santa Monica boardwalk.

JERRY: Why aren't we in LA?

LAWRENCE: Too crowded. Place has been sucked dry. Always best to quit a scene before it gets stale.

DENISE: Kelly, I don't know what you were thinking when you said he wasn't hot.

KELLY: I like my men to look like, well, men.

DENISE: He looks man enough for me to sire.

RALPH: That's what Marissa thought. Remember what happened to her?

LAWRENCE: I remember when she turned you down. You're probably still jealous of Slayer Boy.

JERRY: Wouldn't mind a piece of that girl he's with now.

RALPH: I second that.

LAWRENCE: Don't get greedy. Stick to the plan, and they'll be plenty to go around for everyone.

The five of them go bumpy. Lawrence growls. Connor hears this and runs towards the sound. The vampires are on a building at the corner. Connor crosses the street and climbs up the side of the building. Lawrence, Ralph and Jerry run away, jumping from roof to roof. Denise and Kelly were hiding off to the side. Connor does not see them. They leap down to the street and go after Dawn, who is all alone. They cut her off from Main Street, forcing her to retreat down a narrow alley. Dawn knows she's trapped, and decides to stay put and hold them off until Connor returns. She expects him to be back any second. Denise approaches on Dawn's left, Kelly on Dawn's right. Dawn grips a cross in her left hand. She shoves it in Denise's face, and then immediately hits Kelly in the face with a right kick. Denise leaps at Dawn and kicks the cross out of her left hand. She punches Dawn in the face. Kelly kicks her in the stomach. Dawn retreats a few steps, still trying to hold them off and wait for Connor. Kelly and Denise circle round their prey and growl softly. Dawn tries her best to keep an eye on both of them.

Connor chases the three male vampires for 150 feet before tackling Ralph. Connor quickly gets up, blocks Jerry's kick and punches him in the face. Ralph stands up, and Lawrence gives him a little nod. Ralph runs away towards Dawn. Connor turns to see where Ralph is going. Lawrence kicks Connor in the chin and punches him in the nose. Jerry also runs towards Dawn. Connor begins to suspect that he is being played. With Connor unsure about where to go, Lawrence knocks him down with a right spin kick. Then he kicks Connor twice in the ribs while he's down and runs over to join the rest of his gang. He figures that by now the girl should be finished off, leaving Connor to face five vampires alone.

Denise grabs Dawn's arms from behind. Kelly punches Dawn in the mouth. Dawn has seen Buffy in this predicament enough times to know how to get out of it. She kicks Kelly in the face. Then she hits Denise in the nose with the back of her head. For some reason, the vampires never expect this. Dawn turns around and tries to hit Denise with a right hook. Denise moves back out of the way. Kelly sweeps Dawn's legs out from under her. Denise puts her left foot on Dawn's throat. Dawn grabs her ankle put can't pull the foot off her windpipe. Ralph leaps down onto the sidewalk.

RALPH: Mind if I finish her off?

DENISE: Be my guest. You take the girl, I'll take the boy.

Denise lifts her foot off Dawn's throat. Dawn gasps for air now that she is no longer being choked to death. She sees Ralph approaching. She lies still until he's close enough for her to kick him in the groin with her right foot. Then she gets up and grabs her cross. Jerry charges her. It's not until he grabs her that he realizes she's holding a cross which he has practically thrown himself into. He screams and retreats with a very badly burned chest.

KELLY: Men are such idiots.

She kicks Dawn in the nose. Denise kicks Dawn in the spine. Dawn is knocked face first into a far wall. Kelly charges at her from Dawn's right. Dawn can see this out of the corner of her right eye. She pulls a stake out of her pocket with her right hand, keeps facing the wall, waits until Kelly is close enough, then stakes her. Dawn turns around.

DAWN: You girls don't seem to be very bright either.

Denise hits Dawn with a left hook. Dawn puts up both of her arms to protect her face. Denise lands three punches to the body and then throws Dawn to the ground. Lawrence arrives.

LAWRENCE: Why is she still alive!?

DENISE: She's mine. Don't sweat it.

LAWRENCE: Trust me. I won't. [Lawrence looks up] I have other things to worry about.

Connor leaps down from 20 feet up. Lawrence was expecting this. He grabs Connor in midair and hurls him into the far wall.

LAWRENCE: You didn't think I was finished with you?

CONNOR: No. You're just finished.

He grabs his stake in his right hand and tosses it end-over-end at Lawrence. Lawrence puts both his hands in front of his heart. The stake bounces off of them and falls to the ground.

LAWRENCE: Do you think all vampires are as stupid as you are?

Connor tries to punch Lawrence, who blocks it. Lawrence tries a right cross, but Connor ducks. They get their arms tied up, and Lawrence pushes Connor back into the wall. When Lawrence approaches, Connor kicks him in the head. Then he moves out and knocks down Jerry with a flying right spin kick. As Dawn tries to get to her feet, Kelly picks her up and tosses her into the near wall. Dawn gets up. At least with her back to the wall they can't attack her from behind. Kelly moves in for the kill. Dawn kicks her in the stomach. Dawn then tries a right hook, which Kelly blocks. She hits Dawn with a right hook to her mouth. She squeezes Dawn's jaw with her left hand and looks at Dawn, who's scared and hurt and bleeding and crying. Thinking that Lawrence and Jerry are keeping Connor busy, Ralph turns around and moves towards Dawn.

RALPH: Hey Kelly! Can I have a piece?

Kelly glances at Ralph. Connor runs up and stakes Ralph from behind. Kelly lets go of Dawn and turns to fight Connor. Dawn pulls out her stake and is about to stake Kelly in the back when Connor grabs her and tosses her into the far wall. He looks at Dawn and smiles. He saved her life. What he doesn't realized is he was the one who put Dawn's life in danger in the first place. Dawn tries to catch her breath and regain her composure. She had never been ganged up on like that before. No one had ever allowed her to be ganged up on like that before.

KELLY: You're pretty good with the rough stuff. I'm beginning to see what Marissa saw in you.

DAWN: Who's Marissa!?

Lawrence hits Connor on the face with a right hook.

LAWRENCE: I'm surrounded by idiots!!

Connor tries a right hook. Lawrence blocks it and kicks Connor in the ribs. Lawrence lifts his right foot off the ground and begins to rotate clockwise. Remembering what Spike said about reading your opponent, Connor sweeps Lawrence's left leg out from under him before Lawrence can land the right spin kick. Lawrence falls on his back. Jerry tries to ambush Connor from his left. Dawn sees this. Runs at Jerry from his right side. She takes her stake in her left hand and stakes Jerry in the back. Jerry turns to dust. Kelly runs at Dawn. Dawn retreats away from Kelly, but also away from Connor.

KELLY: Should have killed you when I had the chance.

DAWN: Should have found cooler boy vamps to hang around. Should have fought back and kept from getting killed in the first place. I'm sure you have a lot of regrets.

While Lawrence is on his back, he shoots his legs up, wraps them around Connor's neck, and pulls him down to the ground. Lawrence gets up and tries to kick Connor while he's on his knees. Connor moves his head out of the way and stands up. He looks to his right and sees Kelly pursuing Dawn. Lawrence glances to his left and also sees this.

LAWRENCE: You have to ask yourself: do I try to save the girl, or do I try to save myself? It's a tough choice.

CONNOR: What's your answer?

Lawrence throws a kick. Connor backpedals out of the way. Lawrence charges at Connor. Connor runs up the far wall, does a back flip, and lands behind Lawrence. Lawrence turns and ducks just in time to avoid Connor's kick.

CONNOR: I see you're doing neither.

Connor thought Dawn was fine. He assumed Lawrence was asking himself if he should run away and let Kelly die, or try to save her. Lawrence throws a kick. Connor blocks it and punches Lawrence twice in the face. Lawrence responds with a left jab. Connor hits Lawrence with a left roundhouse kick. He's getting tired of just trading blows with this vamp.

Dawn's trying to buy time, and also trying to find something she can use as a weapon. She picks up a small rock and puts it in her right pocket. Dawn runs onto a parked car's hood, and from there onto its roof, so that she stood about five feet above Kelly, who was to her left. By now, Dawn is 100 feet from Connor.

KELLY: You think you're safe up there?

DAWN: I'd like to see you try to get me down.

Kelly laughs and leaps onto the car's roof. Dawn leaps forward, over the car's hood and towards Connor. She sprints off in his direction. Kelly follows. Dawn pulls the rock out of her pocket, turns around, and hits Kelly in the forehead. Kelly goes down for a moment, allowing Dawn to return to where Connor is.

Connor circles to Lawrence's right, looking an opening. Lawrence is between Connor and Dawn. When Lawrence attacks, Connor evades him, and maneuvers so that he's between Dawn and Lawrence. Dawn turns to fight Kelly, while Connor faces the other way. Lawrence thinks the back-to-back fighting formation is intentional. He moves to Connor's left and tries to get in between Dawn and Connor. Connor moves out and attacks him, which surprises Lawrence, since this leaves Dawn exposed. Connor kicks and punches Lawrence in the head. Lawrence grabs Connor and tosses him into the far wall. Now Lawrence is between Dawn and Connor.

Dawn sees Kelly in front of her and Lawrence to her right. Deciding it's best to fight the person who has his back turned to you, she kicks Lawrence from behind. Connor knocks Lawrence down with a leaping right kick. Kelly runs over to help Lawrence. Connor turns to his right, sees her approaching, and stakes Kelly. He turns round and kicks Lawrence in the chin when he tries to get up. Then Connor leaps on top of Lawrence and stakes him.

LAWRENCE: Damn bitch set me up.

He turns to dust. Connor smiles.

CONNOR: That was a good one.

Dawn hits Connor in the shoulder. She looks furious. Connor looks confused.

CONNOR: What was that for?

Dawn slaps his face with her right hand.

DAWN: What were you thinking? You nearly got me killed!

CONNOR: They're dead. We're not. What's the problem?

DAWN: The problem was you fell right into their trap.

CONNOR: I killed them.

DAWN: You left me all alone. You don't split up when you're outnumbered. Especially when you're the one with all the power. While you chased them, I got double-teamed.

CONNOR: I only saw four.

DAWN: I killed the other one before you got here.

CONNOR: That's why I left you. I knew you could handle yourself.

DAWN: I got lucky. Connor, you never split up when you don't know how many of them are out there. You really must be new at this not to know that. How long have you been killing vampires?

CONNOR: Nine months.

DAWN: That should have been long enough.

CONNOR: I usually fight alone. I'm not used to working with others. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you hurt. You fought good.

DAWN: You weren't so bad yourself.

Connor holds Dawn's hand. He gives her his wide-eyed, pouting lips look. Like almost any girl her age, Dawn finds it impossible to resist. She smiles.

DAWN: I forgive you. Just don't let it happen again.

They walk off hand-in-hand.

CONNOR: What do we do now?

DAWN: I think that's enough vampires for one night. I should get home. She likes me to be in before she takes the Potentials out. Who's Marissa?

CONNOR: Vampire I killed. She came on to me before I staked her.

DAWN: And that's ALL that happened between you two.

CONNOR: Of course it is! What kind of human being gets turned on by soulless vampires?

Angelus stands outside Gwen's thick metal door. He's feeling lucky this evening. He looks all brooding and serious, with the furrowed brow and clenched jaw of a tortured but indefatigable champion. She sees him on the monitor, and turns on the speaker.

GWEN: Angel! I'll be right there.

He already has his invitation, but he couldn't break down her solid steel door, and if he came in through the ceiling she might get suspicious. The door slides open, and Angelus sees Gwen. She's wearing a crimson bathrobe. Her hair is wet and straighter than usual.

ANGELUS: Dig the new look.

GWEN: Sorry. I just got out of the bathtub.

Angelus enters. Huge rooms. High ceilings. No windows. He could get used to this.

ANGELUS: I thought you were going to skip town after the sun disappeared.

GWEN: I'm a cat burglar. We work at night. The long eclipse has been very good for business.

ANGELUS: You don't worry about getting attacked?

GWEN: Not when I can fight them off.

ANGELUS: I almost forgot how good you were at handling yourself in a fight.

GWEN: Just as long as Rocky Red doesn't cross my path.

ANGELUS: That's why I came here.

GWEN: Is he after me?

ANGELUS: Gwen, he's dead. I killed him.

Gwen gasps.

GWEN: How? He was so, you know, indestructible. And powerful.

ANGELUS: And stupid. [pulls out the dagger] This is what did him in. A knife made from his own flesh. Stuck him from behind. Always better to outsmart your enemies.

GWEN: You better not be making this up so that you can, you know –

ANGELUS: Impress you? It's the truth.

GWEN: I know. You're a lousy liar. Part of the whole noble superhero package, I guess. How did you get the knife? And why would he make a weapon out of his own body?

ANGELUS: It was an offering. To his master. Gwen, you need to sit down.

She does. Angelus sits on the couch opposite her.

GWEN: What's the bad news?

ANGELUS: The Beast's master was Cordelia.

GWEN: Oh God. That must have been –

ANGELUS: Devastating.

GWEN: I imagine it was. Always had a bad feeling about her.

ANGELUS: She's the one who let him in here. The one who shut off your security system. She's the one who tried to convince me I needed to lose my soul to fight it. Fortunately, that was easier said than done. When people curse you, they make it very hard for you to be uncursed. We finally found this shaman. But before he could extract it, we found Cordy out. She left. Haven't seen her since. But when she left the hotel, she left behind this dagger. I thought it was worth a shot.

GWEN: So if it's "hey ho, the Beast is dead," why is the sun still gone?

ANGELUS: Because Cordy's still around. Honestly, part of me doesn't want to find her, because I don't know if I could do what needs to be done. Deep down, I still love her.

Angelus loves talking about Cordy the way Buffy talked about Angelus. He's laughing so hard inside it's difficult to keep a straight face.

GWEN: If you don't mind, I'm going to go slip into something a little less comfortable. Be back in a minute. And I'm sorry it had to end this way. I know how you felt about her.

ANGELUS: I have bad luck with women. You might say I'm cursed.

GWEN: As you once told me, get over it. Leave your self-pity at the door.

Gwen walks into another room. Angelus leans back and smiles.

Dawn runs in through the front door and tries to race upstairs. Buffy grabs her when she gets to the foot of the stairs.

BUFFY: So how was the party?

DAWN: Okay.

BUFFY: Why won't you look me in the eyes when you say that?

Dawn's trying to keep Buffy from seeing her face. She realizes she'll have to switch tactics. She looks at Buffy. Her lip and nose are bleeding.

BUFFY: Omigod. What happened to you?

DAWN: There was a vampire. Attacked me when I left. I took care of it. It's no big deal.

BUFFY: Then why do you act like you have something to hide?

Buffy grabs Dawn's knapsack. She opens it up and sees several crosses and stakes. She throws it to the floor.

DAWN: He-heh. Always be prepared, right?

BUFFY: I'm beginning to understand why it's so hard to find Connor at night. Have you seen Connor?

DAWN: Yep. At school today. He stopped by around lunch. Talked to Principal Wood.

BUFFY: Wednesday night. You didn't go to Kit's house, did you?

DAWN: Of course I did. Just ask her.

BUFFY: The best friend always covers.

DAWN: Are you going somewhere with this?

BUFFY: You snuck out! To go slaying. With a boy!

DAWN: Nothing you haven't done.

BUFFY: That was different. I had to.

DAWN: It was your sacred duty to sneak out to see boys? Sorry, I mean men. Sorry, I mean –

BUFFY: Go to your room. NOW!

Buffy tries to control her rage. Not because of Dawny's cheap shots, but because Connor endangered her sister's life, and Dawn doesn't see the problem with this. She stands there and thinks for a few seconds.

BUFFY: Amanda? Amanda!?

AMANDA: Yes?

BUFFY: Last night. You were out with Connor, right?

AMANDA: We didn't fight any vampires. I swear. [Buffy keeps glaring at her.] We did kill a couple demons, however. But he played it very safe.

Buffy keeps staring at her. Finally, she goes up to talk to Dawn.

BUFFY: Have you lost your mind!?

DAWN: I thought you wanted me to learn how to fight?

BUFFY: So which is it? Are you trying to impress a boy, or are you jealous of the Potentials.

DAWN: Why should I be jealous? Connor says I fight better than most of them.

BUFFY: Is he really worth getting killed for?

DAWN: You don't get it.

BUFFY: Oh, I think I do.

DAWN: No you don't! I wasn't fighting for Connor. I was fighting for myself.

Connor enters through the back door. Andrew, as usual, is in the kitchen.

ANDREW: Connor! This isn't a very good time. Buffy is not happy, and if she sees you –

Connor, as usual, doesn't pay attention to Andrew. He grabs a slice of pizza and heads into the living room.

ANDREW: He never says thank you! I made that pie from scratch!

Molly, Amanda, Rona and Vi are happy to see Connor. Kennedy, the one Potential who is not a Connor worshipper, is upstairs with Willow. Connor sits down on the couch. Molly is on his right, Rona is on his left. Amanda and Vi sit on the chairs facing the couch.

MOLLY: How come you haven't taken US slaying?

RONA: We're the ones who are actually Slayers. Slayers-in-Training, I mean.

CONNOR: I can't get you girls out of the house without Buffy tagging along. Dawn, Amanda, they go to school, have friends and stuff outside this house. You three are like her prisoners or something. I would like to see what you could do. Each of you. On your own. You're always fighting together when I see you hunting with Buffy. Any of you taken on a vampire by yourself, without someone there to bail you out?

VI: We don't have Slayer Power.

CONNOR: Doesn't stop Dawn. Sometimes she takes on two at the same time. You should be as good as her, right? You're training all the time.

MOLLY: Dawn fought two?

RONA: By herself?

CONNOR: You're surprised because she's not a Slayer. You shouldn't be. I know plenty of girls who weren't Slayers who fought vampires. Take that back. Every girl I've ever known has fought vampires. Not a Slayer in the bunch. Buffy's holding you back.

Giles enters the kitchen through to back door.

GILES: I hope I haven't kept Buffy waiting. I was at Robin's house, and we lost track of time. It is absolutely fascinating to converse with the child of a Slayer. I feel quite privileged. There hasn't been a confirmed Slayer offspring in more than a century.

ANDREW: We have a problem.

GILES: Really? I hope it's nothing serious.

ANDREW: It's about to get deadly serious. Think of Connor as cesium, and Buffy as water. You do NOT want to be around when they come into contact.

DAWN: You think you'll be around to protect me forever?

BUFFY: Let me get this straight. In order to learn how to defend yourself so you'll be safe, you go out of your way to risk your life. That's insane!

DAWN: You wouldn't understand. You couldn't.

BUFFY: No boy, especially not THAT BOY, is worth senselessly dying for. [adult vampires, of course, are an entirely different matter.]

DAWN: How many times do I have to tell you it's not about Connor?

BUFFY: Until I believe you. Which will be never.

DAWN: How many times have I nearly died? How many times has something tried to kill me? How many times have I waited to be rescued? Poor helpless Dawny. If my life's going to be in danger, I might as well choose the time and place. I might as well defend myself. That way, I have control. When have I ever had that?

BUFFY: Dawn, you're beginning to scare me.

DAWN: You used to be scared FOR me. Now you're scared OF me. I call that progress. When you saw me fighting that vampire last summer, you laughed at me. You're not laughing now.

BUFFY: This isn't you talking. It's that Connor bastard.

DAWN: You still can't take me seriously. I don't care. I proved something to myself. You wanna pretend I'm still 14? That's your problem.

BUFFY: If you felt left out, why didn't you tell me?

DAWN: Left out of what? Those pointless aerobics classes Kennedy leads every afternoon?

BUFFY: I love you Dawn. More than anything in this world.

DAWN: And I shouldn't feel threatened because you don't love the Potentials. That's why your speeches to them always suck. When you love someone, you speak with passion. With them, you phone it in.

BUFFY: What do you mean I phone it in? You're changing the subject. I'm sorry I didn't take you on more patrols. I'm sorry I tried to limit the number of life-threatening sibling bonding experiences. You want to go on patrol with the other girls?

DAWN: They'd just slow me down.

Buffy walks out of Dawn's room. She is furious. Usually Dawn's cries for help take the form of introverted self-pity, not extroverted aggression. Buffy walks down the stairs. When she gets into the hallway, she sees Connor sitting in the living room, surrounded by the smiling, fawning Potentials. He walked right into the lion's den, and Buffy was going to take a big bite out of him. She walks into the living room and grabs Connor's right ear. She walks away, pulling him along by the ear.

BUFFY: Connor. We need to have talk.

Buffy drags him through the kitchen. Connor realizes if he doesn't keep up she'll tear some of his cartilage. Or perhaps she'll tear the whole ear off. Buffy opens the back door and throws Connor outside. She tosses him hard enough so that he falls down the stairs and off the deck. Buffy follows and slams the door behind her.

ANDREW: Ka-boom. Giles, if I were you, I'd move my car out to the street before Buffy picks it up and drops it on Connor.

GILES: You're being hyperbolic.

BUFFY: You son of a bitch.

CONNOR: Actually, my mom was a –

Buffy slaps his face with her right hand, hitting him exactly where Dawn did, only much, much harder.

BUFFY: How dare you put my sister in harm's way for your own sick amusement. You don't care about her. You don't care about anyone but yourself. So listen up. If anything happened to her, you would be dead by now.

CONNOR: You love her. You care about her.

BUFFY: More than you could possibly imagine.

CONNOR: That must be why I never see the two of you together.

Now Connor had crossed the line. He all but accused Buffy of being a delinquent guardian. If there was one thing Buffy could not abide, it was this. All Buffy could conclude was that Connor was asking for it. He nearly gets Dawn killed. Then he comes into her house, flirts with her Slayers-in-Training, and questions Buffy's attachment to the only family she has. The kid sure had balls. And Buffy was ready to shove them down his throat.

Buffy clocks Connor with a left hook. He goes down. Connor had never been hit by a Slayer before. And it hurt for more than he had expected. The fact that he was completely unprepared for the blow made it even more painful than it otherwise would have been.

BUFFY: No use trying to reach you with words. Get up. GET UP!!!

Connor looks at her. He's scared. Mostly because he can't comprehend Buffy's motives. She's not a demon, so it's not in her nature to kill. Connor thought he was being nice to her sister.

CONNOR: What's the problem? I don't understand why you're mad.

Buffy kicks him hard in the side of his head when he tries to stand up.

BUFFY: Don't play dumb. Sorry, I forgot. You are dumb. But not this dumb. Get up! I thought you were tough. Guess you're all talk.

Connor stands up. Buffy leaps in the air and kicks him in the chin. He goes down again.

BUFFY: You stay the hell away from my sister. [all she needs now is an ax]

Connor gets up again.

CONNOR: Is that what Dawn wants?

Buffy throws a right jab. Connor backs out of the way. He tries a right kick, which she blocks. He goes in and throws a left hook, which she also blocks. Buffy grabs his head, knees him in the ribs, and tosses him to the ground. Willow and Kennedy hear the noise. Willow looks out the window.

KENNEDY: Sounds like a fight.

WILLOW: It is.

KENNEDY: Who's Buffy fighting? Vampire? Bringer?

WILLOW: Looks like Connor.

Kennedy and Willow are confused. They run downstairs to the kitchen, where Andrew and Giles are.

GILES: She has every right to be mad at him.

ANDREW: Does that mean she has the right to maim him?

GILES: Buffy would never do any such thing.

Connor rises to his feet and smiles. He walks towards her.

CONNOR: Complete sentences. Try working on them, Buffy. I didn't come here to fight you. I came here to fight with you. And you attacked me. Have I ever attacked you?

Connor is beginning to understand how Angel felt when Connor ambushed daddy on the beach for a crime he didn't commit. At least Buffy doesn't appear to be holding a taser.

BUFFY: Get out of my house. Get off my property. Get out of my town. I can't work with people who don't take my job seriously. Everything's a joke to you, Connor. [Buffy misreads Connor as badly as she misreads him] I protect the people around me, make their lives safe. You put the people around you at risk, make their lives more dangerous. They don't need that. I don't need that. Go have your fun somewhere else.

CONNOR: You're just jealous.

BUFFY: What!!?

CONNOR: How many demons did you kill this week? How many of your trainees did you save from those Bringers? How many vampires did you stake? How many did you dust in town, where they attack people? I've made your life a whole lot easier, and you can't stand it.

BUFFY: Do you WANT me to kill you?

CONNOR: That's a stupid question.

Buffy hits him again in the face.

Willow's poking her head out the back door.

WILLOW: GIles, I hate to say it, but Andrew may be right. You should out here before Buffy does something she's going to regret.

GILES: You mean like striking him?

WILLOW: She's already done that. Many times. Now she's threatening to kill him.

Giles steps out onto the back porch.

BUFFY: You nearly get my sister killed! Then you come to my house and insult me. Tell me I'm a bad sister. Tell me I'm a bad Slayer. Where the hell do you get off saying ANYTHING about my life!? You don't know the first thing about me.

CONNOR: I know you're possessive. That you're not much for sharing.

Buffy punches Connor hard in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. She grabs him by his hair and tosses him towards the tree in back. She's never done that before. To anyone. She's surprised she didn't pull out tufts of his hair by the roots.

BUFFY: How many times do I have to hit you to beat that arrogant smirk off your face!?

Giles decides the time has come for him to play daddy and break it up. He walks towards his Slayer.

GILES: Buffy, I know you're completely in the right. Connor has been reckless and irresponsible, and he desperately needs to see the error of his ways. But I don't think you're the person to do that. Let me try to reason with the young man. Save your strength for the vampires.

BUFFY: At least I can keep the vampires out of my house.

GILES: Please. Go inside. Take Willow with you. I'll handle this.

Buffy walks back inside, still boiling with rage. Willow knows Giles is right. She is all too aware of how much damage extremely powerful people can do when they're extremely angry.

GILES: I'm sorry about that, Connor. Dawn is Buffy's only family. She would give her life to protect her sister. Surely you can understand that. What would you do if someone endangered your family? Come to think of it, you haven't said word one about your family. Where are you from, Connor?

CONNOR: I'm from Utah.

GILES: And your family? Did you have any brothers or sisters?

CONNOR: No.

GILES: I was also an only child. Surely you must have had parents?

CONNOR: My mother died giving birth to me.

GILES: I'm sorry to hear that.

CONNOR: I was raised by my father.

GILES: Must have been tough raising you all alone. What was your father's name?

CONNOR: Holtz.

GILES: My father was named Rupert. LIke myself. Kind of a family tradition. He was a Watcher. Like myself. Also kind of a family tradition. What was your father's occupation?

CONNOR: He was a demon fighter.

GILES: Very interesting. I assume he taught you how to fight demons?

CONNOR: Yeah.

GILES: Is he still alive?

CONNOR: He died last year. Killed by a vampire. I've been on my own since then. With him gone, I no longer had a home. Tried to find a new one. Thought this town was a good fit.

GILES: I'm sorry about your father. To be all alone at such a young age is enormously difficult. Buffy can understand that if you reach out to her. She has a wonderful heart, and the noblest spirit I have ever encountered. But she is very protective of the people she loves and cares about. And rightly so. Try working with her, rather than going around her back. She won't admit it, but right now she could use your help. You're an orphan. And there's no better place for an orphan – especially one with your abilities – than this house. Everyone one here is an orphan of sorts. So go home, get a good night's rest, and I promise that tomorrow Buffy will welcome you back. If not with open arms, then at least without clenched fists.

Connor leaves. He wonders why some of Giles's compassion has not rubbed off on Buffy. He's not used to real empathy, the kind that comes from people who are not trying to manipulate you. Therefore he's suspicious of Giles's motives. Especially his eagerness to learn about Connor's family. But he appeared to buy the lies and half-truths. So Connor doesn't worry.

Up next: Angelus and Gwen go at it. Plus, Spike tries to play champion at the Bronze when a super-demon interrupts a Frank Black show.


	8. Wave of Mutilation

[Angelus goes at it with Gwen in more ways than one, then takes on an army. In Sunnydale, Spike and Connor try to get their respective grooves on.]

Gwen walks back into the study. She's wearing baggy black pants and a black long-sleeve t-shirt.

ANGELUS: Odd to see you out of uniform. What, no gloves?

GWEN: Don't need them around you.

Gwen sits down on the couch next to Angelus.

GWEN: Is it just me or are you even broodier than usual?

Angelus realizes he may be overacting.

ANGELUS: I can't help but think it's my fault, that if I hadn't searched for her, and brought her back, all of this suffering, all this death, could have been averted. She wasn't supposed to come back. With magic, there's always consequences. I had no idea they would be this horrible.

GWEN: You got something to back this up, other than your overactive guilty conscience?

ANGELUS: You're right. It's all in my head. But that doesn't make it feel any less real. It's just so damn operatic. My love made her evil.

GWEN: Can we make this a Cordy-free conversation?

ANGELUS: I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you know why Cordelia is in my past, why I'm moving on. I should have moved on after that night in the elevator. Took me 250 years to meet a woman who could make me feel alive. Should have known a good thing, a perfect thing, when I saw it.

GWEN: That's sweet. But I don't want to be the rebound girl.

ANGELUS: Actually, Cordy was the rebound girl. The one before her, it was pretty serious. For a little while. I even briefly succumbed to the pleasing delusion that I loved her. But in the end we were too different to make it work. I knew she needed someone less complicated. We're still friends, I think. It's been a while since we've talked. But enough about her. My point is, you're not the rebound girl. You're the one I've been looking for all along. The one woman who can understand me, make me feel like I'm not alone in this world.

GWEN: Please tell me you don't really believe that crap you just said. I'm not looking for a soul mate.

ANGELUS: That makes two of us. Just pretending to be a gentleman. I'm lonely. You're alone. It would be a shame for you to pass up this wonderful opportunity.

GWEN: I think I can turn that frown upside down for a few hours.

Anya and Spike enter the Bronze. Frank Black is onstage, inadvertently playing the role of the Greek Chorus. He performs the song "Out of State."

SPIKE: So when does Andrew get a crack at you? After Giles?

ANYA: Indirect implication is usually more insulting than blunt literalism. You're saying I'm a slut.

SPIKE: Xander's a slut.

ANYA: Why do you think I was interested in him?

SPIKE: You're merely an opportunist.

ANYA: An opportunist with taste. I don't settle. You're the one who dated Harmony twice.

SPIKE: Cat's got claws tonight. Like with Connor.

ANYA: He told you about that? But the marks were gone by morning. He heals very quickly.

SPIKE: Wish I used a different metaphor. Did he like it?

ANYA: Very much.

SPIKE: Figures. Boy's a budding masochist. What I meant was, Connor's barely set foot in town, and you've already had you way with him and cut him loose. You don't waste time.

ANYA: Why should I? My mortal life span is terrifyingly short.

SPIKE: And your bed's barely cold when you take me out.

ANYA: Actually, you're taking me out. You bought the tickets, remember? And you were the one who asked me out.

SPIKE: I just wonder who's next if you keep of this torrid pace.

ANYA: Is this because I slept with Xander?

FRANK BLACK: "Once there was love. Now there is nothing. I wasn't enough."

SPIKE: Why would I care about ancient history?

ANYA: I meant last week. In your bed. The one in the basement.

SPIKE: What!!? You shagged HIM I on the same sheets I slept on? I knew I smelled something, but I never thought – Good God! Do you know how sick that is? He was naked! In my bed!!

ANYA: It would have been even more disturbing if we used Buffy's bed. Or Dawn's. Now THAT would have been sick. Doing it on Willow's bed might have turned Xander on in a way which would have turned me off. Plus everyone sits on the couch, so that would have been plain wrong.

SPIKE: Could you at least have had the decency to burn the cot afterwards? One more reason I'm glad I moved out.

ANYA: Why have you moved out?

FRANK: "I can't come around down here. Not with you. And I won't hang around in vain. I can't come around down here. Not with you. And I won't be coming here again. I can't stand the pain."

SPIKE: Needed my freedom. Hated being tied down. Figuratively.

FRANK: "You say I belong. But you're wrong. You're wrong."

ANYA: Something happen between you and Buffy? Or not happen, as the case may be?

SPIKE: It's got sod all to do with her, and everything to do with me. Bloke needs some space to feel like a man.

Connor went home and cleaned himself up, using the water from the fountain in the courtyard. Then he put on a clean shirt – Angel's black shirt, the one Cordy gave him. There were no mirrors in any of the rooms, something which should have struck Connor as odd. But he had found a small mirror in the basement the day before, and brought it up to his bedroom. He checked his hair and then left. He wanted to see what young people did when they were not fighting demons.

Angelus lies on the bed, with Gwen lying to his left. Both look very satiated. She puts her right hand on his chest.

ANGELUS: Nothing's happening.

GWEN: Guess I'm spent.

ANGELUS: That would make two of us. You were spectacular.

GWEN: You done already?

ANGELUS: Just getting started.

He takes her right hand, starts sucking on her fingers one-by-one, then kisses her wrist. He quickly goes bumpy and bites down. After two seconds he lets go, opening his mouth as if it hurts. Gwen shoots out of bed and quickly gets her pants and shirt on. She grabs her wrist to try to stop the bleeding.

GWEN: Too hot for you?

Angelus get out of bed on the other side. He looks like he swallowed a combination of red chili peppers and hydrochloric acid. He's still all fangy and yellow-eyed as he gets his pants back on.

ANGELUS: I thought you were human.

GWEN: I am. I'm also electric. But I thought you knew that.

ANGELUS: You're like an electric eel. They don't shock you once you kill them. Bet you're the same way.

Angelus leaps across the bed. Gwen leaps to the other side. Angelus leaps back across. Gwen kicks Angelus while he's in midair. He hits the bed and falls to the side opposite her. When he rises, she leaps across and kicks him in the face.

ANGELUS: Usually I like to do the foreplay before the banging.

He grabs her and throws her across the bedroom into the wall. He leaps across and tries to get a hold of Gwen while she's down. Gwen crawls under the bed. Angelus laughs and tosses the bed aside. Gwen sweeps Angelus's legs out from under him and stands up. She attempts to kick him while he's down, but Angelus grabs her foot and pulls her back down. He tries to get on top of her, but she brings her feet inward and hits him in both ears. Angelus decides to get up. He walks towards the door and puts on his shirt, but hasn't had a chance to button it before Gwen hurls his shoes at his head. He loves seeing her scared.

ANGELUS: Come on, baby. Don't look so shocked. I'm a vampire. This is what I do to survive.

GWEN: You think you're the first vampire I've humped? No. You're just the first who was dumb enough to bite me.

She charges at him and leaps in the air. Angelus steps back out of the bedroom and into the library before she can get close. His face goes human again. He closes the door, puts on his shoes, and then knocks the bedroom door off its hinges. Gwen's also put her boots on.

ANGELUS: A vampire groupie! I had no idea. Cordy was right when she called you supertramp. So you've throbbed a lot of vampire hearts?

GWEN: Before you, just one. And he was a lot better.

Angelus looks shocked. Gwen leaps at him and lands a kick to his face. He staggers back about 15 feet. She follows.

ANGELUS: I'm sure lying makes it easier.

She throws a right kick. Angelus moves his head to the side to avoid it. She throws a left kick. He ducks.

GWEN: Funny part is, it's the truth.

She hits him with a right hook. He responds with a left jab. She throws another right. He grabs her arm and tosses Gwen on her back. She does that scissor move with her legs Buffy used to do to get back on her feet.

ANGELUS: You mean all those moans and screams and quivering sighs were the sounds of . . . disappointment?

GWEN: Didn't say you weren't good. Just that I've had better. Should I give you his name? Maybe you could ask him for some pointers.

Angelus throws a big right hook. Gwen backs out of the way.

GWEN: Now I've gotten under your skin.

ANGELUS: That was the plan. I was going to do you a favor. As a human, you have nowhere to go but down, and you know it. What will you be doing 30 years from now, when all your hair is gray and you don't look nearly so good in form-fitting rubber? All you would lose was your soul, which you don't use anyway. You're a criminal. You've killed people. The humans have never seen you as one of their own. Tell me where I'm wrong?

GWEN: I'm a freak. You're a monster.

Gwen attacks. She tries a right kick, which Angelus blocks. Then right and left punches, which she also blocks. He grabs hold of her arms, and she does a round off forward flip to break free. Gwen tries a left spin kick. Angelus ducks, and lands a right kick to her ribs.

ANGELUS: Freak. Monster. Nothing but semantics.

Gwen tries a left kick. Angelus grabs her foot. She does a black flip. He charges and tries a right punch. She grabs his right arm. He lands a left cross to the right side of her face. Still holding his right arm, she tries to flip Angelus onto his back. He shoves his left hand into her chest and knocks her into the side wall.

ANGELUS: I forgot how much fun the hand-to-hand was.

Gwen runs at Angelus, does a forward handstand, and tries to kick Angelus in the face. He backs up just in time to avoid the blow. When she her feet hit the ground, Angelus kicks Gwen in the stomach. Then he grabs her arms, pulls them behind her back, gives her a sly smirk, and throws her 30 feet backwards. She crashes into the rear bookcase, shattering several shelves, before falling the ground, along with dozens of books.

ANGELUS: I could beat you to death. But where's the fun in that? I wouldn't get to torture you. To tie you up. To hear you scream. I'll be back, Gwenny.

Angelus leaves. He's having a really, really good day. In the past few hours alone, he beat up his old buddies, tasted Fred, butchered Justine, slayed the Beast, and screwed Gwen. Truly a charmed life, Angelus thought to himself as he headed for home.

Connor enters the party. Kit and Carlos told him where it was at lunch. It is dark and humid and crowded and smells like those bars where Connor sometimes fought demons. 50 Cents' "In Da Club" plays on the stereo. Connor wades through the people, looking for familiar faces or potential vampires. Lacey runs up to him. The crowd forces people to stand close together, but she gets especially close to Connor.

LACEY: Connor! You made it!

CONNOR: Hey.

LACEY: Thanks again for sticking up for me.

CONNOR: I thought Edgar stuck up for you, and I stuck up for him?

LACEY: You know what I mean. Wanna dance?

CONNOR: I don't dance.

LACEY: Come on.

He looks around. He appears to be surrounded by people who are dancing. Connor feels like an awkward, self-conscious teenager.

CONNOR: Sorry. I'd look stupid.

LACEY: No. You look great.

CONNOR: You look good too.

She doesn't have on her glasses and her clothes are far less homely than what she wore in school that day. Lacey smiles. She thinks she's making progress. Edgar has been wondering where Lacey went. He sees her with Connor. As does Bradley.

BRADLEY: I don't freeking believe it.

EDGAR: Man, she's all over him.

BRADLEY: And last night he was with Amanda.

EDGAR: Didn't know you liked her.

BRADLEY: Didn't know you liked her either.

EDGAR: I don't like Amanda.

BRADLEY: I meant Lacey.

EDGAR: You saw her in Chem class. Connor this. Connor that. I met the guy a few hours ago, and already I'm sick of him.

Connor doesn't mind Lacey sidling up to him, but he's not in a predatory mindset.

CONNOR: Where's Edgar?

LACEY: Around.

CONNOR: Figured he'd be with you.

LACEY: We're just friends.

Connor looks around. He spots Kit. He's in the mood for hanging out with a woman who doesn't seem inclined to hit on him.

CONNOR: Hey Kit. Oh. And there's Carlos. I should say hi. I'll see you a little later, Lacey.

Connor gently touches her left arm with his right hand. She gets excited. He smiles and walks over to Kit and Carlos. Lacey gazes at her hero. Connor doesn't completely understand that she has a big crush on him. After all, he didn't even save her life. So in his mind, the damsel in distress model doesn't apply.

CONNOR: Hey guys.

KIT: How was Dawn?

CONNOR: We had a good time. Her sister made her come home. You know how Buffy can be.

CARLOS: Likes to keep her hermanita safe.

CONNOR: Tell me about it.

KIT: I'm gonna go get something to drink. Wanna come, Connor?

CONNOR: Sure.

He follows her. She's trying to look out for Dawn and get a sense of Connor's character. Kit's heard the rumors about Connor being a player. After a few days of doing nothing but talking to girls, Connor's acquired a reputation it took his father Liam several years of determined carousing to earn. A tall, skinny black kid with close-cropped hair walks over to Carlos.

CARLOS: What up, Clarence.

CLARENCE: Word is you hot for Denise.

CARLOS: Who told you that?

CLARENCE: My buddies on the track team.

CARLOS: You mean Sheldon and Rodney?

CLARENCE: Among others.

CARLOS: Shelly's one to talk.

CLARENCE: I don't hear you denying it.

CARLOS: I ain't denying that she's fine. She's one of the reasons I run track. I'm a baseball player. Why do I need to run? Denise is nice to me. Nicer than she is to Shelly or Rodney. So yeah. I like her. Can you blame me?

CLARENCE: I can blame you for playing so damn coy about it. Everyone knows you dig the sistas. Somethin' we have in common.

CARLOS: What was that?

CLARENCE: Come on. Your last two honeys?

CARLOS: Roberta's Dominican. Ana's Panamanian. That's different, man.

CLARENCE: So they don't count? Roberta's darker than me.

CARLOS: That's not why I liked her. Do people think I'm only into black chicks?

KIT: Sure you don't want anything to drink?

CONNOR: Let's go sit down.

They find space on one side of a couch. Connor's a little worn out by his busy day. In the back of her mind, Kit worries Connor's going to hit on her.

KIT: I hear you've been pretty busy.

CONNOR: With what?

He assumes she means demons, but doesn't want to freak her out if that's not what she's referring to.

KIT: With the ladies.

He assumes she means Anya. Possibly Cordy. Women he's slept with.

CONNOR: Not anymore.

KIT: Amanda last night. Dawn tonight. Lacey a few minutes ago. You get around.

CONNOR: I didn't do anything with them. Amanda's just a friend. Lacey's nice. Maybe a little too nice. I don't even know her.

KIT: And Dawn?

CONNOR: Dawn's different. I like hanging out with her. But we're not, you know.

KIT: So you don't like her in that way?

CONNOR: I like her in a lot of ways. I don't love her. I don't love anyone right now.

KIT: You mean there was someone you loved?

CONNOR: Before I came here. She was older. It got complicated. Don't want that again.

KIT: Don't want someone who's older?

CONNOR: Don't want someone who doesn't love me.

After their initial assault on the Hyperion, Gunn, Wes, Fred and Lorne led their teams on a clover-leaf shaped sweep of downtown Los Angeles. Each of the four teams went out in a different direction and then circled back so they would reunite on the hotel three hours after starting their shift. Angelus was walking home just as the teams were converging. When he was within a half-mile of the hotel, he heard the trucks swooping towards him. Angelus quickly realizes he is in danger of being cut off from his sanctuary. He runs for home, but gets only halfway there before realizing he would have to fight his way back. He sees this situation as more of a challenge than an actual threat. After all, this is his lucky day.

Wes, Gunn, Fred and Lorne approach the Hyperion on foot while the trucks with the soldiers circle the neighborhood, picking off every vampire they see. Angelus has climbed onto the fourth floor of a parking garage. He observes their massive firepower and swift mobility. Their trucks can run down any vampire, and their weapons can dust large numbers of them at once. Furthermore, they pick off vampires hiding in buildings. So he can't run, can't hide, and – for the moment at least – can't fight them. Angelus knows it is only a matter of time before they shoot at him.

One truck finally shoots a grenade at him. It lands a few feet away. Before it detonates, Angelus leaps out of the garage and goes bumpy. He falls 40 feet and lands in the truck. He grabs the two soldiers sitting in back and tosses them to the pavement. The two soldiers in front of him are working the napalm and grenade launchers, and are not prepared for hand-to-hand combat. But they quickly turn around and pull out their tasers. Before they can shock him, Angelus hits the one to his right with a left hook, and the one to his left with a right hook. They fall out of the vehicle. Realizing he is alone with a vampire, the driver slams on the brakes. Angelus jumps to the ground.

The soldier who shot the grenade at Angelus, who is also the one Angelus hit with a right hook, is closest to him. He lies at the curb. After falling off the truck, he hit his head on the pavement and was knocked unconscious. Angelus puts his upper teeth on top of the curb, and his lower jaw on the inside of the curb. Then he steps on the back of the soldier's head, snapping his neck. He's always wanted to do a "curbing." But he knows there isn't time to savor the gruesome kill. Angelus turns around and leaps at a soldier who is pointing his zap gun at him. He kicks the gun out of the soldier's hand and holds the soldier in front of his body as a shield from the two soldiers who are pointing their guns at him. But Angelus hears the driver approaching. He has left the vehicle and is sneaking up on Angelus from behind. Angelus snaps the soldier's neck and spins around. The dead soldier's body takes the electric charge. Then Angelus spins back around and tosses the body at the two other soldiers who are threatening him. Angelus goes to his knees and grabs the gun from the soldier he has just killed. He rolls over to the sidewalk, eluding the shots of the two soldiers. He fires back, forcing them to take cover. Then he picks up the gun and a grenade from the soldier he curbed. He dashes into a nearby alley for cover. The three soldiers radio for backup.

When Gunn and Wes charge into the front courtyard, they are in for a rude awakening. Cordelia has extended the sanctuary. Their grenades don't detonate. Gunn tries to stake a vampire, but can't. Wes tries to behead one with a sword, but fails to make contact. Fortunately, the vampires in the courtyard didn't know the sanctuary had been extended. Most fled Wes and Gunn. The two who remained are too confused to counter attack. Realizing what has happened, Wes and Gunn flee for the street.

Fred goes into the rear courtyard with the belligerent confidence of a Slayer. But her crossbow bolt bounces off of a vampire's chest. When she tries to hit another vampire with the front end of the crossbow, she fails. Fred tosses the crossbow back to Lorne, pulls out her poleaxe, and starts swinging. The vampires instinctively move away from the blades of the long, sharp, heavy weapon. Lorne runs around Fred and collides with a vampire. They repel one another.

LORNE: Fred, sweetie, that won't do you any good. Courtyard's off-limits.

Just to make sure, Fred swings at the closest vampire. Seeing the mystical shield in effect, she leaves with Lorne. There are vampires on the street trying to run into the Hyperion, and Fred can take out a few of them. Amidst the confusion, Lindsey had his chopper land him on the roof of the hotel. From there he surveys the action and hopes that the sanctuary spell doesn't hold for the roof.

Another truck, filled with five soldiers, has approached Angelus's hiding spot. He crouches behind a dumpster, which protects him from the napalm canisters with ignite in front of the and to the left of the dumpster. Then a grenade is lobbed over the dumpster, landing two feet behind Angelus. He leaps into the dumpster. Its metal sides protect him from the blast and the wooden shrapnel. Not the most dignified hiding spot, but it does save his life. Angelus peers out of the dumpster. The truck has entered the alley. It's closing in on him. He pulls the pin out of the grenade and tosses it into the truck. The five soldiers leap out. The explosion hurts none of them, and barely scratches the vehicle. But by getting the soldiers on their feet, it has freed Angelus. He leaps out of the dumpster, brandishing a gun in each hand. He charges at the soldiers, firing at them with both weapons. He isn't sure how these things work, if or when they run out of "ammunition," need re-charging, or whatever. He just hopes they work until he can get home. The five soldiers hit the ground for cover. Angelus moves too fast for them to get a good shot at him. He leaps over the empty truck. The three soldiers from the first vehicle open fire on Angelus. He rolls to the side, and from one knee hits two of them in the chest, dazing them. The other soldier hits Angelus's shirt just below the left armpit, burning a hole through the fabric but missing his skin by an inch. He runs across the street, firing erratically, since he's moving. The soldier can't hit Angelus before he ducks down a sidestreet.

He runs for a block, then turns left. He is two blocks from home. Angelus watches two trucks zoom by, then dashes to the other side of the street. One of them fires a napalm round at him which singes the bottom of his forehead and the front of his hair, giving him highlights. He climbs up the fire escape to the roof. He runs to the end of the block and leaps down. From there it's about a 100 yard dash across open ground to the Hyperion. Fred, Gunn, Wes and Lorne are on other sides of the building, and don't see him. Angelus scales the side wall of the hotel, making his way onto the roof. Lindsey waits for him, hidden behind an air conditioning fan. He aims his pistol and hits Angelus in the back with a dart. Angelus reaches behind and pulls it out.

ANGELUS: Funny, but I don't even feel like yawning.

Angelus throws the dud tranquilizer dart down to the ground, opens a door, and walks down into his hotel. When Angelus is gone, the helicopter returns and takes Lindsey away. Angelus heads back to his suite. He is soon greeted by Alanna, his favorite consort. She runs her right hand down his face.

ALANNA: Master, you're hurt.

ANGELUS: It'll heal. The things I killed won't. I'll tell you all about it. Let's just say the last few hours will be hard to top.

She rips off his shirt, wraps her arms around his chest and kisses him on the lips.

ALANNA: I'll try my best.

ANGELUS: Don't you always? Run me a bath, darling. Take these guns to Cecil. See what he can make of them. And bring me up a snack. Something young and tender. Not in the mood for a struggle. Had enough of that for one day.

GILES: I'll check out Connor's story first thing tomorrow morning.

BUFFY: He said Sunnydale was less dangerous than where he came from. Are there that many demons in Utah?

GILES: Not nearly enough to cause a person to be blase about the Hellmouth. And I think he was referring to the places he had been to after Holtz died and before he came here. That name. Holtz. Something about that name.

BUFFY: You think you know him? Is there a disgraced ex-Watcher with that name?

GILES: No. And I didn't say I knew the person. I said I knew the name. Read it in books a while back, I think. Just can't put it in the proper context right now. Something to research tomorrow morning.

ANYA: He's far too large and fleshy to have been a pixie.

SPIKE: For the last time, that was the name of his band.

ANYA: So the other members were pixies?

SPIKE: No! It was just a name.

ANYA: That's false advertising. This is one of their songs?

SPIKE: Yes. The first one he's done so far. It's usually the only one he plays from that far back.

ANYA: I like it. It's catchy. It's upbeat. And it's about dismemberment. I think I actually did what he's singing about once or twice.

"Wave of Mutilation" ends. "I Bleed" begins.

FRANK BLACK: "As loud as hell, the ringing bell. Behind my smile, it shakes my teeth. And all the while, as vampires feed, I bleed."

ANYA: Are you sure he's not an ex-demon? He obviously seems to know his stuff.

SPIKE: It's a metaphor. Symbolism. Not to be taken literally. Like most people, he's probably never even seen a demon.

Spike hears ominous sounds to his right. People are fleeing something. Spike glimpses human body parts. Then he sees a large, white demon devouring them. It grabs a second victim by the right arm as he tries to get away. The demon bites off the arm and sinks its teeth into the man's chest. Panic spreads amongst the 300 or so people inside the Bronze.

SPIKE: Go to the exits. Get these people out.

Anya runs to the rear exit and begins to shepherd the friendly masses outside. Spike stands up. The demon is thickly built and stands a little over six-and-a-half feet tall. Hanging from its upper jaw are two curved tusks, each 4 inches long. Its body and head are ivory-colored. The demon's face is smooth and shiny. It is round in shape, with a thick brow and two small holes where a protruding nose should be. Its ears are long and pointed and gray. Silver spikes run from the top of its head down its spine. Here and there over the surface of its body are small gray bumps.

The demon picks up another victim. Spike runs at the demon and kicks it in the chest. The demon drops the human, who runs off to safety. The band has fled the stage in terror and confusion. The demon picks up a stray leg and swallows it in two bites. Then it strikes Spike with the back of his right hand, knocking Spike to the ground. He gets up, goes bumpy and growls at the demon. The demon responds with a blood-curdling roar. His teeth are few (16, not counting the tusks), but long and pointy. His eyes are pink.

SPIKE: Bloody overgrown albino walrus. I'll make you sorry for ruining my show.

Spike charges the demon and punches him in the face. The demon grabs Spike, who tries to go for the eyes. The demon throws Spike 30 feet back. He crashes through a metal support column which holds up the balcony. Part of the balcony collapses on Spike's head. The demon begins to walk to the front exit. Spike looks around. The place is empty. Everyone's escaped. Now all he has to do is prevent the flesh-eating albino walrus from leaving the building. Spike grabs a piece of the shattered column and hits the demon in the head with it. Then he hits it in the body. The demon grabs the metal bar and tosses it to the left. He tries to punch Spike's face. Spike ducks and hits the demon's chin with a right uppercut. The demon connects with a left hook. Spike laughs and hits the demon with a right roundhouse kick. The demon takes a few steps back. Spike's filled with his old blood lust. He's thrilled by the prospect of a good scrape. The two demons stare each other down in the pit between the stage and the wreckage of what used to be the balcony.

SPIKE: Never killed a monster with its own teeth before. Cum on, coo-coo-ca-choo. Take a bite outta me.

The demon doesn't seem interested in Spike's flesh. It must like his victims alive. Spike hits the demon with a right cross. The demon responds with a powerful right to Spike's gut. Then with the left hand he grabs Spike by the throat and lifts him about a foot off the ground.

SPIKE: Ugly AND stupid? I'm a VAMPIRE, you nit!

Spike kicks the demon in the face. It doesn't loosen its grip. Spike realizes its not trying to choke him. It's trying crush his neck. The demon's hand is large enough to reach around to the back of Spike's neck. It's trying to crush Spike's spine, thereby killing him. Spike reaches around with his two hands to the back of his neck, attempting to pry loose the demon's fingers. He pulls back the demon's thumb and middle finger, nearly breaking them. The demon lets go and Spike gets his feet back on the ground. He throws a right punch, which the demon blocks. But he connects with a left to the demon's body. Spike ducks to avoid a right hook, hits the demon in the face with a left jab, and tries a right hook of his own. The demon grabs Spike's right arm and tosses him into the drum kit onstage. Spike stands up, grabs a 20-inch cymbal, and hurls it at the demon's neck. It goes about two inches into the neck before stopping. The demon pulls it out and tosses the cymbal back at Spike. He ducks, and the cymbal slices through the curtains behind the stage. The demon charges Spike. Spike picks up the mic stand and hits the demon in the head with its base, preventing the demon from climbing onstage. After taking two hits, the demon wrestles the mic stand away from Spike and tosses it to the right. Spike looks around for another weapon. He picks up an electric guitar. At that moment, Frank Black pops his head out from backstage to salvage his gear. Spike is temporarily star-struck.

SPIKE: Mr. Frank Black. It's truly an honor. Can I borrow your ax?

Spike still has on his demon face. Frank Black stares in stunned horror at this smiling fan with pointy fangs, yellow eyes and a bumpy forehead.

FRANK: Whatever.

He runs backstage, leaves through the musicians' exit, hops onto the bus with the rest of his band and speeds out of town. They've decided to ditch the gear.

SPIKE: Always heard he was a shy fellow. Oh well.

Robin Wood has come to the scene of the chaos and taken on the demon. To the demon, he's more of a meal than a threat. Spike sees the demon grab Robin with both its paws and lift him in the air. It opens its mouth and prepares to sink its tusks into his scalp. Spike hits the demon over the head with the guitar, shattering the instrument and causing the demon to let go of Robin. The demon kicks Robin in the chest and sends him through some drywall. Spike leaps off the stage and kicks the demon in the head. He tries another kick, but the demon grabs Spike's foot. Spike does a backflip to break free. The demon runs at Spike and hits him in the face with a right jab. Spike flies backwards, hits the near side of the pool table, and lands on the far side. Anya is nearby, crouched on the ground.

ANYA: Everyone's safe.

SPIKE: Not everyone.

Robin gets up. He pulls a 2x4 out of the wall and swings it at the demon. It blocks the blows and levels Robin with a right hook.

SPIKE: Get HIM out of here.

The demon looks down at Robin. Anya dashes over. The demon turns to see her. Spike picks up the pool cue and throws it at the demon. It goes straight through the center of its chest, and sticks there, half out the back and half in front. The demon pulls the stick out and tosses it into the wall behind Spike. The cue shatters. Anya helps Robin up and they run towards the front exit.

WOOD: Go get Buffy. I have to stay here.

ANYA: To die? To get eaten?

WOOD: What are you waiting for!?

Wood pushes Anya out the door.

ANYA: Fine! Be a macho man. Just hope Buffy doesn't find your mangled corpse when she gets here.

Anya leaves, convinced Wood is doing this to keep Spike from getting all the glory. She knows Buffy has a way of inspiring men to do really brave and stupid things to impress her.

The demon purrs and sticks the tip of its black tongue out the left corner of its mouth as it approaches Wood, who stands ready to defend himself and keep the demon from getting out the door.

SPIKE: You're a sod-awful glutton. How many blokes does it take to keep your belly full? And you're not just satisfied with the blood. Like Grendel without the charm.

The demon stops and glances to the left at Spike, who's walking towards it.

SPIKE: That's right. I'm not done with you yet, Eggman.

In addition to the Beatles reference, the epithet is apt because the demon's smooth white head kind of looks like an egg. The demon walks towards Spike. When the demon is about five feet in front of Spike, it opens his mouth and lets out a mighty roar. Its lower jaw is at a 90 degree angle to its upper jaw. For the first time, Spike gets a close look at how massive this creature's mouth is. He can see past the tusks, past the teeth which are each at least as long as Spike's fangs, and down the demon's throat. From that close, the roar seems about as loud as a jet engine.

SPIKE: Think that scares me? Well, yeah. It does. Jus' a little.

Spike backs up. The Beast follows. Spike is trying to get it away from the door and away from Wood. He's also searching for some new weapons. Spike stands at the back of the pool table. The demon stands at the front. The demon lifts it up and throws the table in Spike's direction. Spike moves to the left and emerges unscathed. The demon approaches and throws a left hook. Spike blocks it with both his arms. He head-butts the demon, smashing his forehead into its right tusk. It doesn't chip the tusk, but appears to hurt the demon nonetheless. Spike's gaining confidence. He punches the demon in the mouth with his right fist. Its lower teeth cut Spike's knuckles. But Spike notices the demon is missing one of his front teeth. Spike smiles. The demon clocks him in the left cheek with a right hook. Spike is dazed, but doesn't let that damper his confidence. He punches the demon in the chest, where a hole remains from where the cue stick hit it. The demon tries a left jab. Spike ducks and sweeps the demon's legs out from under him. For the first time, the demon is on its back. Spike looks down. He's bloodied and bruised but smiling ear-to-ear.

SPIKE: Killing innocent people. That I can tolerate. Bollixing up MY CONCERT! That you pay for.

Spike leaps on top of the demon and grabs its head. The demon pulls its legs in and pushes out against Spike's chest. Spike flies through the glass display case near the bar. The demon slowly stands up and looks at Robin. It assumes the pesky vampire wants to drink the human himself. In its mind, this fight with Spike is nothing but a turf battle. By now it has proven its dominance, and the vampire will surely go somewhere else to feed. Robin doesn't back away from the challenge. He stands firm and throws a right hook. The demon grabs Robin's right wrist with his left paw and tosses Robin head-first through a brick wall. Spike picks up a filled keg from behind the bar and raises it over his head with both hands.

SPIKE: What do I have to do to get your bleeding attention!!?

The demon turns to his left rear and walks towards the vampire who can't take a hint. Spike tosses the keg. It hits the demon in the face. It staggers back a few steps. Its knees wobble but the demon doesn't go down. Spike runs towards the door. Robin's trying to get up. Spike helps him to his feet. Spike stands to Robin's right.

SPIKE: Stubborn bugger. Am I right?

Spike's talking about the demon, but his comment could also refer to Robin. Wood looks on the ground to his left and is glad the demon sent him through the wall, because now dozens of loose bricks lie on the ground. He picks one up and tosses it at the demon. Then another. Then another. The demon stops walking towards the door when he is 20 feet away and puts up his right arm to shield him face. Spike notices this and smiles.

SPIKE: Way to use the old noggin, Robin.

Spike throws two bricks at a time, going for the demon's chest at first, then for its knees. The demon backs up to about 30 feet from Spike and Wood. Finally, it picks up a chair and uses it as a shield.

SPIKE: Not as stupid as I thought.

Then the demon hurls the chair at Spike and Wood. This causes them to stop hurling bricks. The demon approaches. When it is within 20 feet, Wood throws the chair back it it. The demon bats it away. 15 feet. Spike picks up a table and sends that in the demon's direction. The demon smashes it with both, but stops advancing for a second. Spike throws a second table, which the demon grabs and tosses in the direction of the stage. 10 feet.

SPIKE: You've been gallant. Now go. I don't think he eats my kind.

5 feet. They can feel its breath, which reeks of human remains.

WOOD: I stay until Buffy arrives.

SPIKE: Then all I can promise is I won't let him bite your corpse. And of course I won't bite it either.

The demon snarls.

WOOD: Just like you did with my mother.

The demon drowns out Wood's comment, so Spike doesn't hear it. Robin picks up a brick in his left hand, grips it tight and swings for the demon's head. It blocks the brick with its right fist and breaks it up. The demon hits Wood in the head with a left hook. Wood tumbles to the ground unconscious.

SPIKE: Tried to warn you, mate. Now its just you and me, toothy.

The demon straitens its arms and swings them at Spike, trying to box his ears. Spike grabs the demon's arms and tries to push them back outward. From the start, he's losing this test of strength. Spike goes back to his human face, a sign that he's growing tired. While the demon's arms are pushing Spike's arms back inward, he kicks the demon in the stomach, then in the chin, with his right foot. The demon steps back. Spike looks cocky, and closes in. The demon throws a right hook. Spike ducks and gets behind the demon. He jumps on its back and grabs its head. Finding the head is too slick to get a good enough grip for snapping its neck, he grabs onto the two tusks and tries to rip them out. After all, he promised he would do this at the beginning of the fight. The demon shrieks in pain. It backs up into a brick wall and slams Spike through it.

Spike lets go. The demon is about ten feet from the door. Spike hurls bricks at the back of its head. The demon turns around. Spike grabs a brick in each hand and dives between the demon's legs. Now Spike is back between the demon and the door. He throws one brick. The demon knocks it away with its right hand. The demon runs at Spike. He throws the other brick, but the demon knocks it away with its left hand. Spike hits the demon in the stomach with a right punch, and in the face with a left hook. The demon boxes Spike's ears. Spike realizes he is losing consciousness. The demon hits his face with a right, then a left, then a right. Spike's mouth is filled with his own blood. He eyes stare off into the distance. But his feet hold firm. The demon lands a final left hook, and Spike falls on top of Wood.

The demon kicks open the doors and beats its chest a few times. It runs into the middle of the street and grabs a man. Buffy and Giles arrive. They heard the commotion and were halfway there when Anya found them and explained as best she could what was happening. Kennedy is right behind Buffy, with Molly, Rona, Vi and Amanda behind her. Buffy gets within 50 feet of the creature when she sees it bite off the man's head.

BUFFY: Giles! Get the girls out of here!!

He takes the Potentials around the corner, leaving Kennedy to watch over them so he can return to Buffy. After swallowing the head, the demon sinks its tusks into the chest, and turns the body upside-down. It appears to be sucking out the innards.

BUFFY: Hey ugly!

The demon tosses what's left of the corpse to the sidewalk. Blood and gore run down its chin and chest.

BUFFY: Made you look.

Buffy is genuinely horrified, and is using the humor purely as a defensive mechanism to keep herself from getting scared. The demon runs towards her. Buffy runs towards the demon. She leaps in the air and kicks it in the head. The demon is knocked back about ten feet by stays upright. Buffy lands a right roundhouse kick to the chest and a left jab to the chin. The demon raises its left fist and thumps Buffy on the top of her head. She feels wobbly. Then the demon clocks her in the chin with a left uppercut. By now a normal human would have at least a severe concussion. Buffy just loses her sense of equilibrium. The demon kicks her in the chest with its right foot, knocking Buffy on her back.

The demon glances to its right and sees Connor galloping towards it. He left the party about 30 minutes ago and was wondering through the warehouses a half-mile south, looking for demons to fight. Once he heard the tumult, he raced to the scene to play champion. This demon was big and strong, but it didn't look as scary as the Beast (Connor hadn't seen it eat people), so he wasn't intimated. He leaps at the demon. It knocks Connor to the ground with a swipe of the back of its left hand. Buffy stands up, as does Connor. The demon looks behind it. It seems distracted. Connor flies at the creature, trying to land a midair kick. The demon jumps ten feet backwards and disappears through a portal. Connor tumbles to the ground.

CONNOR: Who opened the portal? Was that you, Giles?

GILES: It wasn't any of us.

The Potentials run back up to Buffy. Anya comes to her from the other direction.

ANYA: Robin and Spike are hurt!

Buffy, Anya, Connor and Giles run to the Bronze. Spike and Robin are passed out, Spike lies on top of Robin. Spike groans and moves his head. He opens his eyes.

SPIKE: What the - ?

Robin also opens his eyes. Both men look very upset to be in such close proximity to one another.

ANYA: This isn't what it looks like.

GILES: Looks like they went down together fighting that demon.

ANYA: Okay, it is what it looks like.

Spike rolls off of Wood. Buffy kneels down to look at Robin. His right eye is swollen shut. His nose is bleeding. His tank top is bloody. The top of his head has several cuts and one large, bumpy bruise. There is blood in his right ear.

ROBIN: Did you kill it?

BUFFY: Don't worry. It's gone.

Buffy smiles down at him.

GILES: I think he needs to go to the hospital. I'll go get my car.

As Buffy watches over Robin, Anya checks on Spike.

ANYA: They all got out. You saved them.

Spike tries to get up.

SPIKE: Where is he? Need to show that wanker what happens when you mess up Spike's fun. Can't let im get away with that.

Against Anya's urgings, Spike stands up and staggers around.

Connor walks through the trashed club. He sees the fallen balcony, the holes in the wall, the broken debris and shattered glass. It is obvious to him that one hell of a fight had just happened there. He is sorry he missed it.

Spike gets on his knees.

SPIKE: Where is it? I know it was around here.

Anya and Buffy think Spike is delirious. Spike gets up, proudly holding up the tooth he knocked out of the demon's mouth.

SPIKE: Found it! See? The walrus got the worst of that scrape.

Spike collapses to the ground.

Spike, Giles, Buffy, Connor, Willow, Kennedy, Dawn and Anya are in the living room. Spike and Connor are standing up. Dawn is on the right side of the couch, Buffy in the center, and Willow on the left, with Kennedy on the armrest next to Willow. Giles sits opposite Willow, and Anya sits opposite Dawn. Spike and Connor are standing up, Connor near the hallway, Spike against the wall next the to fireplace. Spike has a bandage around his right hand and an icebag on top of his head. He still looks pretty thrashed.

BUFFY: You can have my seat if you want.

SPIKE: I'm fine.

BUFFY: You sure?

SPIKE: I've had hangovers a lot worse than this.

Willow, Dawn, Anya and Giles look through books.

BUFFY: Any progress?

GILES: I believe I have found our creature. It's called a Tur-Amon. A predecessor of the Tura-Khan.

WILLOW: An Uber, Uber-vamp?

DAWN: He's wrong. [Giles looks a wee bit stunned] Tur-Amon's don't eat human flesh. [She shows him the picture in her book, which looks similar to the one in his book.] It was a Tur-Am. It's a little bigger than the Tur-Amon, and its tusks are about twice as long. Earliest known demon ancestor of the Tura-Khan.

Connor glances over at Dawn and does a sly little half-grin. After getting bossed around by Angel (not to mention Gunn), Connor has a healthy respect for showing up the people in charge.

BUFFY: An Uber, Uber, Uber-vamp?

WILLOW: Or would that be an Ur-vamp?

GILES: Actually, the Tur-Am isn't an ancestor of the Tur-Amon.

DAWN: The Tur-Am's the daddy and the Tur-Amon's the mommy.

GILES: I was just going to say that.

DAWN: The Tura-Khan is their offspring. It's all-demon, like its parents, but it's asexual. Eventually the Tur-Ams and Tur-Amons died out in this dimension. Tura-Khans couldn't reproduce, so they bit humans to make vampires.

GILES: The Turakhans eventually left, presumably for a more hospitable environment. They are far more common that Turams, so tonight's appearance is highly significant.

WILLOW: Should we assume this has something to do with the First?

GILES: I don't see how it can't.

ANYA: Does this mean the apocalypse is also the work of the First?

GILES: No. But it's safe to say the events are connected. The First is behaving opportunistically.

BUFFY: While we're busy saving the world, this Ur-vamp will run around town killing everything in sight. As if our plates weren't full enough. What are the ground rules for fighting this thing?

SPIKE: Staking doesn't kill it, cause I already tried it. Beheading is difficult. Like chopping down a tree trunk. Single blow won't get the job done.

GILES: And the standard vampire rules might not apply. There's a chance it's immune to sunlight. We must remember that the Turam is not an Uber-vamp, or an Ur-vamp, but a demon first and foremost. A demon that is tougher than anything we have faced in a long while.

CONNOR: Do we know when it's going to come back? Or where?

ANYA: We can read the portal. See if it's an in-y. Or an out-y.

WILLOW: We already know it's an out-y.

ANYA: We need to find out if it's both.

GILES: But there's the problem of proximity.

WILLOW: The spell needs to be performed in the immediate vicinity. We can't just do it on the street and expect no one to notice.

ANYA: I know a place nearby.

She looks at Giles.

GILES: Of course. Do we have the requisite supplies?

ANYA: Between the three of us? Easy.

GILES: I say we strike while the portal is hot.

The three of them get up.

WILLOW: Which place are we going to?

Giles and Anya give Willow knowing half-smiles.

WILLOW: Oh no.

BUFFY: What just happened?

GILES: We're going to check if the Turam can re-enter our dimension through the portal he used to leave it. If not, we will be able to ascertain the location of the portal he is using to enter our dimension. Once we know that, we can monitor that portal's energy and be prepared for the Turam's return.

BUFFY: Thanks for the translation. I hate it when you guys talk magic.

CONNOR: I hate magic. Always makes things worse.


	9. Faith Takes LA by Storm

[Lindsey pulls a trick on Angelus. Faith arrives in Los Angeles and begins kicking ass. Plus, Giles tells Buffy who Holtz was and what connection Holtz had to the Council.]

Back at Lindsey's Presidential Suite

LINDSEY: You stick to the plan. That's an order, soldier.

GRAHAM: He killed two of our men! You're going to let him get away with that?

LINDSEY: You go after him, you'll kill him. But he make take two more or your men in the process. Is he worth that much to you?

GRAHAM: Okay boss. Not on your time. But I have friends on the inside. So did Alan and Walter. That demon will have to watch his back for a long time.

LINDSEY: Trust me. He always has. Don't let one bloodsucker ruin the whole operation. We've cleared downtown and most of the surrounding neighborhoods. Saved perhaps hundreds of lives. Next shift, you hit the San Fernando Valley. All four teams moving in parallel. Roll them right up. After that, they'll be just pockets of resistance left. Final shift, two teams move south down the coast: San Pedro, Long Beach, Santa Monica, Venice and Manhattan Beach. THe other two teams sweep the southern and eastern periphery. You're doing great work. And you know better than to personalize this.

Graham looks unconvinced but leaves the room. Lindsey doesn't realize the irony: He spent two years fighting an obsessively personal battle against Angel. In a way, Lindsey is saving Angelus's life. If 38 soldiers decided they wanted him dead, his nights would be numbered. Lindsey walks over to Fred, Wes, Gunn and Lorne.

FRED: I'm sorry about the way I acted. I didn't know about the barrier.

GUNN: Are you okay?

FRED: I spent five years in chains. A few seconds of bitus interruptus with Angelus won't traumatize me. He wanted to scare me. To make me feel weak. He didn't. He failed because I know he's not Angel. He's just a slug who wears Angel's face.

LINDSEY: I wouldn't worry about Angelus anymore.

Lindsey turns on a monitor on the wall. It's a map of Los Angeles with a small red dot at the location of the Hyperion.

LINDSEY: I bugged Angelus. Placed a homing device under his skin. He thought it was a dud tranquilizer dart. Tells us where Angelus is at all times. It automatically alters me when he's on the move. So we don't have to pay attention until he leaves the nest.

WES: And then what? We capture him?

LINDSEY: No need to. We make that hotel, Angelus's sanctuary, into his prison. Prevent him from feeding outside its walls.

FRED: He needs to be in control. We deny him that, we own him. He becomes our bitch.

Fred smiles at Lindsey. She likes his thinking. This upsets Wesley. He's supposed to be the brains. Not this shady, untrustworthy former denizen of evil.

Giles, Anya and Willow enter what is left of the Magic Box.

GILES: This is my first time back since, well —

ANYA: The unplanned demolition?

GILES: So to speak. I don't remember it being trashed this badly.

WILLOW: Why don't you rub it in a little bit more? Was that the whole point of choosing this spot to do the spell? I ruined your livelihood, Anya. I'm sorry. How many times do I have to apologize?

ANYA: Apologies aren't necessary. They're useless, actually. Legal restitution, on the other hand, would be greatly appreciated.

WILLOW: Oh no. You can't be serious. Then again, you're Anya. So you probably are serious.

GILES: Will the two of you please concentrate on the job at hand.

ANYA: You'd get half of any award, since you owned 50%.

GILES: That's true. I was an equal partner. Have you had the damage appraised?

ANYA: $40,000. But we could be entitled to triple-damages. Course all of this is moot until Willow gets a job. Then we can garnish her wages for as long as it takes.

WILLOW: Can't take the Vengeance Demon out of the woman.

ANYA: It's not vengeance. It's justice. Literally.

WILLOW: Giles, is she making this up?

GILES: You destroyed her property. There are several witnesses who could attest to that fact. The law's on her side.

WILLOW: So the law can make me pay for breaking some furniture, but not for taking a life?

GILES: I suppose Warren's parents could sue you for wrongful death.

ANYA: Except after they found out Warren killed Tara, the jury would probably give you money. That's it! I sue you. You sue Warren's parents. They pay me. You're off the hook. Problem solved. Provided the world doesn't end tomorrow. Or in a couple months. Now if only I knew a good lawyer.

Cecil enters Angelus's suite. He's pale, stubbly, thin and of average height. He has slick, jet-black hair and wears a fading Green River t-shirt with a black long-sleeved sweatshirt underneath. Angelus and Alanna wake up.

CECIL: If this is a bad time —

ANGELUS: Nonsense. If it's you, it must be important.

The red-headed Alanna steps out of bed and walks into the bathroom to take a shower. She's stark naked. Cecil's a little embarrassed to be ogling one of Angelus's women, but tries not to show it.

CECIL: Curtains match the carpet. Interesting. So I checked out those guns you brought me. Awesome electronics. Already cannibalized them for parts. Essentially, they were glorified tasers. Knocks down anything it hits within a 10 meter radius. But it can't kill. You're better off with a real gun. And those commandos weren't National Guard. Or Army. They were mercenaries. Strictly private-sector.

ANGELUS: They're only in it for the money. Who's money?

CECIL: I imagine there are plenty of business interests in Los Angeles who have been financially hurt by the recent unrest. Mass slaughter is never good for the economy. But I wouldn't worry about them.

Angelus stands up and gets dressed. Cecil turns his head. Handsome though Angelus is, Cecil has no interest in seeing other men naked. To Angelus, Cecil is the palace eunuch. Angelus feels no need for him or his women to be modest around Cecil. Angelus has his pants on, so Cecil feels comfortable looking him in the eye once again.

CECIL: From what I've been able to gather, they appear to have arrived within the last 24 hours. The devastation is easy to follow. These Hired Stakes have cut a swath across half the city. At this rate they'll have covered the county in two days tops. They aren't patrolling. They aren't holding ground. They're searching, destroying and leaving. And when they're gone, they'll be more victims for the vampires who've survived.

Angelus finishes buttoning up his shirt

ANGELUS: Thinning the herd. And I'm the only one with a safe haven. Those doughboys will leave me ruling this town. Maybe I should send flowers to the families of the men I killed. I always like to keep in touch with the next of kin.

CECIL: We are prepared for precisely this sort of eventuality.

ANGELUS: Thanks for the reminder, C-C.

Angelus pats Cecil on the back and leaves the room. He walks down the hall and meets up with the newly-sired Olivia. She wraps her arms around Angelus and kisses him.

ANGELUS: You must be starving, baby.

OLIVIA: Can't wait to cut my teeth into someone.

ANGELUS: Go outside. Something should come running by in no time.

She kisses Angelus again, turns bumpy and goes to the main elevator. Angelus smiles, goes bumpy and takes the service elevator to the basement. Next to the cage that was built for him are two other cages of similar size. Each cage holds about ten humans. This is Angelus's strategic blood reserve. In addition, it affords him the opportunity to savor the sight of dozens of terrified people who fear for their lives. He unlocks one cage. Rather than try to escape, the humans cower and retreat to the back of the cage. He looks them over and pulls out a young man. Then he closes the cage.

ANGELUS: You look like a fighter.

Angelus grabs him by the neck and drags him upstairs. He walks the man outside. Then Angelus lets go.

ANGELUS: Congratulations. You're free. Now run!

He growls and the man sprints in the other direction. Olivia leaps out. He fights for his life. But she quickly overpowers the man and drinks him.

ANGELUS: Nothing like the first kill.

Buffy drives to the hospital at 3 in the morning. When she arrives, she sees Wood checking out. His right arm is in a sling.

BUFFY: All better so fast?

WOOD: Just a little multiple concussion. Doctors thought I should spend the night here. I'll get better rest in my own bed.

BUFFY: What happened to your arm?

WOOD: Partially dislocated elbow. From one of the times I went through a wall. Should be fine by tomorrow night. Which reminds me of the date we were supposed to have this past evening. The one that was postponed by the looming apocalypse. How bout you come over to my house for Sunday brunch? Assuming we're all still here, of course.

BUFFY: You bet. Always nice to have something to look forward to.

Faith steps out of the bus station in downtown Los Angeles, carrying her duffel bag. She is wearing black boots, black jeans, a blue Boston Red Sox t-shirt and a black denim jacket. She checks her watch. 1 pm. Where is the sun? She looks around, and finds a phone booth with a phone book. ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS. The address is different. She calls the number. It is no longer in service. The directory is a year old. Maybe he left town. Maybe he died. A lot can happen in three years. She thinks of who else she can call. Wesley's number isn't listed. Just as well. Faith isn't comfortable seeing him again. Not after their last meeting. So there she is, all alone, in a city she barely knows, which is mysteriously dark in the middle of the day. Nothing she can't deal with. Faith has a wad of cash, more than $5000 from her stint as the benevolent despot of Block F. She knows how to survive. And she is finally a free woman. Five by Five.

Faith walks a couple blocks down the street, past a rail yard. It is still dark. The area is deserted. Suddenly, two men run towards her. They are dressed in black hooded robes and carry daggers. Strangest of all from Faith's point of view, they don't appear to have any eyes.

FAITH: Someone really wants me dead. It's nice to be important.

The one to her left tosses a dagger. Faith blocks it with her duffel bag. She pulls the dagger out of the bag, tosses the bag behind her, and prepares to fight. She first attacks the one to her left, since he has only one dagger. She leaps in the air and kicks the Bringer in the face. When he goes down, she charges the one to her right. He slashes for her with both daggers. Faith leaps in the air, does a forward flip over the Bringer's head, and stabs him in the back before she hits the ground. The Bringer falls on his face. Faith twists the knife and runs it up his back, severing his spine. The other Bringer is now six feet away and approaching fast. He brandishes his dagger in his right hand. Faith leaps at him from his left and stabs him through the neck. When he falls on his back, Faith plunges the dagger into his chest and slices it open to make sure he's dead. She looks over these curious monsters, takes their four daggers, and leaves.

A block away, four vampires spot her. They don't see a Slayer. They see a lost girl, possibly a runaway. Someone who should be easy pickings. They stalk her for another block. Faith thinks she hears someone following her. She turns around and sees a vampire. She drops her bag and pulls out two knives.

FAITH: Oops. I forgot. These won't kill you. It's been a long time.

Faith looks around. She sees a single-story storage shed near the tracks, about 150 yards to her right. She runs to it. Another vampire gets in her way. She punches him in the face without breaking stride. When she gets to the shed, Faith jumps on the roof. A vampire is on each side, looking up at her. She punches through the shingles and pulls out a 2x4. One vampire leaps on the roof and tries to ambush her from behind. She reaches back and stakes him. Another vamp steps up to face her. Faith kicks him back to the ground. She leaps down and tries to stake him, but her rolls out of the way and gets up. The other two vamps come at her. One of them grabs her arms from behind. She leaps in the air and kicks the one in front of her in the face. As she leaps, she carries the other vamp forward along with her. They fall to the ground, and she breaks free. The third vampire, the one she knocked off the roof, punches her in the face. She blocks his next punch and hits him twice, knocking him to the ground.

FAITH: I've fought women in the clink who were tougher than you guys.

Faith picks up her 2x4 and stakes the vamp she just punched to the ground. She hits one vamp with a flying spin kick, and tosses the other one into the side of the shed. She stakes him. The one vampire left tackles her from behind. When she goes down on her face, Faith reaches back and gouges him in the eye. This enables her to get back on her feet. She grabs the wooden board, hits the vampire twice in the head with its flat side, then stakes it with the pointy side. She takes a few seconds to catch her breath. Then she retrieves the bag holding all of her belongings, mostly clothes. With one of her new daggers, Faith cuts the piece of wood into two stakes, so she'll be prepared the next time. Faith resumes walking down the street. Five minutes in town, and she has already been attacked by two knife-wielding men/demons and four vampires.

FAITH: Welcome to LA.

Saturday morning. Andrew is washing the dishes after breakfast. Giles takes his tea, walks upstairs and knocks on Buffy's door.

GILES: It's me.

BUFFY: Come in.

GILES: Last night and this morning, I was able to check out Connor's story. I could not find any record of a demon hunter named Holtz in Utah at anytime in the past two decades. My contact in Provo could not confirm any part of Connor's story.

BUFFY: So he made it all up? Obvious he's got something to hide.

GILES: I told believe he made all of it up. There was a demon fighter named Holtz. But he lived in the 18th-century.

BUFFY: It's a common-enough name. You think there's a connection?

GILES: I do. When you were arguing with him last night, Connor said he believed ordinary people without super powers should fight vampires on their own. That Dawn shouldn't rely on you to protect her. That's exactly what this Holtz character would have said. It was kind of his mantra.

BUFFY: How could Connor pick up an idea — an insane idea, by the way — from someone who's been dead for centuries?

GILES: This man wasn't just any demon fighter. Holtz was Franklin Thomas Holtzman, a Wesleyan Methodist minister in Lancashire. A local family was mysteriously slaughtered. Holtz discovered the culprits, who happened to be vampires. He organized a group of local men, and they killed these vampires. Minister Holtzman soon discovered a more immediate way to save souls and fight the Devil. He started something of an anti-vampire crusade throughout the Midlands. Within a few months, vampires in Edinburgh were afraid to trek down to London. Naturally, the Council noticed Holtz, and he noticed them. They didn't get along, to say the least. The sources all describe Holtz as an intense, charismatic zealot whom people either found to be incredibly inspiring of slightly insane. Watchers are cut from calmer stock. Holtz saw them as dilettantes. And the concept of the Slayer horrified him at first. He believed no Christian God could devise such a cruel method of fighting evil. He believed the condemnation of innocent girls to a swift and early death was nothing more than a form of child sacrifice. He wrote several open letters to the Council, calling them heathens who practiced the moral equivalent of tossing virgins into volcanoes. Holtz hoped to outrage enough members of the Council to cause a sort of Reformation, to turn the Council into his conception of a vibrant demon-fighting organization. But his rantings were in vain.

Over time, they would be overshadowed by his record. Holtz fought vampires on his own for almost a quarter-century, spreading his do-it-yourself gospel and training men wherever he went. He eventually made his peace with the Council, accepting the validity of the Slayer concept, though he always maintained that "one girl is not enough." Oddly enough, late in his career Holtz hunted Angelus for a time. He chased Angelus across three continents, but could never quite catch him. The Watchers' diaries say Holtz is the only mortal man Angelus ever feared. Eventually Holtz disappeared. The presumption was that he died fighting in some far off corner of the world. But his body never was found, which give rise to the usual sorts of rumors. Then around 1830, an apostate Watcher inspired by Holtz's early polemics began arguing that one Slayer does not have to die for another to rise. Furthermore — and this is where it gets bizarre — he prophesized Holtz would one day return to Earth, and that if the Council had not changed its ways by that time, it would be destroyed.

BUFFY: So the crazy Watcher thought Holtz was some messiah?

GILES: Like I said, truly bizarre. But even more bizarre was the fact that several Watchers actually believed his ramblings. I suppose the idea that Slayers need not die had a certain seductive charm. The renegade Watchers were expelled from the Council. These exiles formed a sort of demon-fighting cult. It continued after their deaths, and there are records of the Holtz cult through the end of the 19-century. After then it became too insignificant to trace, especially because as time went on it lost some of its apocalyptic fervency and became simply a band of demon fighters named after a vaguely remembered vampire hunter from the distant past. Many members were known to adopt the Holtz moniker as their profession pseudonym. That's what Connor's father might have done.

BUFFY: So you think Connor was raised by some crazed cult member. That's so not reassuring.

GILES: That may be, but it's irrelevant to the more important question of the origins of Connor's powers. On the way to the hospital last night, Robin mentioned that Connor told him he was raised by a man who was not his biological father. Connor implied that like Robin he was orphaned at a very early age. Right now, all this is irrelevant. But maybe on Monday, if we're all still here, Robin can get Connor to come clean. He seems to trust Robin more than he trusts any of us.

BUFFY: I wonder why that is?

Around 2 on Saturday afternoon, Buffy goes over to Angel's old place to make sure Connor is part of the team. He isn't downstairs. She goes up to his bedroom. He is sleeping.

BUFFY: Hope this isn't your day off.

Connor opens his eyes, sits up, and looks at Buffy.

CONNOR: What do you want?

BUFFY: To save the world. Wanna help?

CONNOR: You're serious.

Connor steps out of bed. He's naked. Buffy is horrified and covers her eyes and turns her head. She finds Connor physically unappealing, and his is one body she does not want to see. Ironically, he feels the same way about Buffy. After a few seconds she glances back, sees that he has pants on, and continues the conversation.

BUFFY: Tonight. The Hellmouth will try to open. And that Ur-Vamp we fought last night will probably return.

CONNOR: Saving the world? Sounds fun.

BUFFY: You really are new to the game. Be at my place by six.

CONNOR: You need me. I'll be there.

Buffy rolls her eyes and walks out without commenting. Her next stop is Spike's crypt. She hopes he's dressed, though she would mind naked Spike a whole let less than naked Connor. When she gets to his door, she hears him singing. Naturally that worries her. However, it is a different song than before:

"It doesn't pay to try. All the smart boys know why. It doesn't mean I didn't try. I just never know why. It isn't cause I'm all alone. Baby you're not at home. 

"And even though they don't show, the scars aren't so old. And when they go, they let you know. You cant put your arms around a memory. So don't try. Don't try."

Buffy enters. He's sitting at his table, drinking blood out of a cup, singing along to the song on his stereo.

BUFFY: You're aware you're singing?

Spike turns around. He's startled, and a little embarrassed. He didn't know Buffy was there. He quickly turns of the music.

SPIKE: Yep. Righto. No trigger. Consciously singing. Was I out of tune?

BUFFY: Sounded fine to me.

SPIKE: That's a relief. Usually I'm the one sneaking up on you. [finishes his blood]

BUFFY: You know about tonight.

SPIKE: Be there after sundown. Bringin' all my weapons, per your request.

BUFFY: Anya told me about last night, with the Turam. How you saved all those people. How you kind of saved Robin. You're the best warrior I've got. You know I believe in you. So if you left because you didn't think you were getting enough respect —

SPIKE: Last night. That's why I left. Being on my own makes me a better fighter. I'm not a team player. I can work well enough with others if I want to, but I've never been one for bonding with the chums in the off hours. It takes away my edge, my creativity, my elan, my mojo, my whatever you bloody well want to call it. It's best this way.

Buffy walks up to him. Tries to put her hand to his left eyelid, which is still swollen. He pulls his head back.

BUFFY: You okay?

SPIKE: The world's supposed to end. Does it matter? I'm fine. Try to fight me, see for yourself.

Buffy can tell he's joking. She cracks a small smile.

BUFFY: I'll save my strength for the Turam and the Hellbeast.

The gang is eating dinner. Spike comes in through the kitchen door, takes some food, sits down and starts eating. Everyone looks at him like he's nuts.

SPIKE: What!!? Never seen a vampire eat food before?

ANDREW: There's garlic in the sauce.

SPIKE: So?

AMANDA: Aren't vampires repelled by garlic?

RONA: Crosses, holy water, garlic. That's what keeps them away.

SPIKE: Granted, it's an acquired taste. This is very good, by the way.

ANDREW: Thank you. I prepared it myself.

SPIKE: Always knew you'd be feeding me one way or another.

Andrew looks rather sheepish. He doesn't take the joke very well.

In the dining room, where the grownups are eating.

ANYA: This is all of them, right?

GILES: All of the Potential Slayers who are still living. You can thank the First for the fact that this house isn't even more crowded.

ANYA: I didn't mean it like that. It's not like I want these girls to die just so I don't have to wait 5 hours to take a shower every morning.

XANDER: How many are there now? It's hard to keep track.

BUFFY: Sixteen.

GILES: [looks into the living room. appears dismayed] And Connor seems to be making nice with as many as possible.

ANYA: So he likes meeting new people. Big deal. As long as he's not touching them, I don't see what the problem is. He's not, right?

WILLOW: Nope. Too busy manhandling his food. God, that kid sure is ravenous. 

BUFFY: And not too familiar with utensils.

Spike comes from the kitchen into the dining room. Connor goes from the living room into the kitchen for more food, then heads outside to eat, where it's less noisy.

SPIKE: Don't think he's spent much time in polite society.

XANDER: You mean when he was with that Holtz guy. He sounds cool. Not the one who raised Connor. The original Holtz that Giles read about. The one Angelus was scared of.

SPIKE: [scoffs] What the bloody hell are you talking about? Angelus wasn't afraid of Holtz. Not the way he tells it.

GILES: What did Angelus tell you about Holtz?

SPIKE: Just that he killed his wife and children. After repeatedly raping his 8 year-old daughter. Said it was a real gas. Especially the raping.

BUFFY: That's enough. [she hates to think of Angel as a monster]

SPIKE: Didn't even have to get to the part about the hot pokers.

GILES: The sources never mentioned Holtz had a family. So after the massacre, did Angelus kill Holtz?

SPIKE: Didn't need to. Figured when Holtz saw the devastation he'd hang himself in despair. Why are we talking about this anyway? You think Connor has some connection to Angel?

GILES: Let's not get ridiculous. By the way Andrew, these lamb kabobs are sublime. I think you've found your calling.

ANDREW: Thanks. You have no idea how difficult it is cooking dinner for two dozen with such meager kitchen facilities. Have we decided which archetype Connor fits? I'm leaning heavily towards Anakin Skywalker. The Force is very strong in him. But he has fear. And fear turns to rage. And rage turns to hate. And hate makes a man turn to the Dark Side.

BUFFY: Any luck tracking down his origins?

GILES: I have nothing on mysterious births from 1985 or any of the surrounding years.

SPIKE: So you still have no idea why he has vampire powers?

GILES: Excuse me? Vampire powers?

SPIKE: You haven't noticed? He leaps like a vampire. He has super-hearing like a vampire. He has super-smelling like a vampire. There's a theme here. One that a smart gent like yourself should have picked up on.

Spike knows Giles thinks he's stupid, so he loves making Giles feel stupid.

ANDREW: Maybe he's the child of vampires. Like Blade.

XANDER: Only one of Blade's parents was a vampire.

GILES: That's not even remotely possible. Vampires cannot breed. Thank God.

ANYA: Otherwise Buffy could have had Angel's baby while she still in high school. Talk about a soap opera.

The room gets very quiet. Anya's clearly managed to offend Buffy, Giles, Spike and Xander.

ANYA: I'm just saying, it was obvious that's what Giles meant.

The third shift is about to go out. Lindsey gets a call on his business line.

LINDSEY: She's been what!! For how long?! And they just told you five minutes ago? Well, thank you Lloyd. I'll do what I can. I can't believe they didn't notify us.

He slams the phone down. Wes, Gunn, Fred and Lorne can tell that something big has come up. Everyone's silent for a few seconds. Lindsey takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair.

LINDSEY: Faith has been released from prison.

FRED: The Slayer?

WES: Where is she?

LINDSEY: Somewhere in Los Angeles. I hope.

GUNN: We got ourselves a Slayer?

LINDSEY: Once we find her. If we find her.

WES: The soldiers should be able track her down in no time.

Wes is filled with hope and anticipation. He desperately wants to redeem himself as a Watcher.

LINDSEY: You go on your missions. Stick to the plan. I know a few less conspicuous ways to find her.

WILLOW: So where are the new girls from?

ANYA: And why are most of the Potentials American? That seems suspiciously disproportionate.

GILES: We rescued all we could, and the Council had a much more difficult time rescuing Potentials in parts of the world where we had few operatives. My last trip was an attempt to compensate for this deficiency. After finding Chao-Ahn in China, I picked up Madari in India before heading back.

WILLOW: What about the two girls who arrived today?

They are standing in the hallway talking in a language none of the Scoobies can comprehend. Both are shorter than Buffy, dark-skinned, with long black hair.

GILES: That's Izora, age 15, from Morocco. And Ariella, age 16, from Hebron. Izora made it here on her own. Two Bringers came after to her village in the mountains south of Fez. Her father was out tending their sheep and shot the Bringers dead. He took one look at his kills, quickly realized something was very odd, and contacted a local wiccan, who realized what was happening. The witch was powerful enough to contact my Seer telepathically. The Seer contacted Robson, who explained what to do. Izora and her parents travelled more than 100 miles to the coast, and Izora claims she personally shot dead two more Bringers during the journey. She hopped a boat to Gibraltar, where Robson met up with her and arranged her flights to Sunnydale.

WILLOW: Wow. She knows a real-life Berber witch. Always wanted to meet one of those. Talk about ancient powers.

GILES: Their powers are hereditary, and they are loathe to share their secrets with outsiders. Also. the ones I know are afraid of you.

WILLOW: They know me! I'm that famous!

GILES: Infamous, actually. You try to destroy the world, you acquire a certain reputation.

XANDER: At least we know she can take care of herself.

ANYA: Willow?

XANDER: Izora.

GILES: She is handling the transition with far less fear than the other Potentials. Though she expressed dismay at our lack of firearms.

ANYA: She speaks English?

GILES: A little. And I speak a little Arabic. We can communicate, but not without difficulty.

WILLOW: Ariella seems to speak a lot of Arabic.

GILES: The two of them have really hit it off.

Ariella finishes talking to Izora and walks into the dining room.

WILLOW: Are you also Arab?

Ariella narrows her eyes and looks at Willow like she's about to slit Willow's throat.

GILES: She's Israeli. Though her grandparents are from Tunis.

WILLOW: Oops. I'll really stepped in it, didn't I?

ANYA: You're a Hebrew. Yet you were speaking Arabic.

ARIELLA: I'm surrounded by them. Lots of Palestinians used to work for my dad's construction company. Before . . . you know . . . Honestly, the Bringers were comic relief. Two tried to break into the settlement. Neighbors shot them dead. Two more were killed by suspicious Palestinians in the city. They joked about it with the soldiers at the checkpoints. Called the Bringers "World's Worst Martyrs." All they had were knives. What is this, the twelfth century? Then Robson came to town. Said I been chosen, or nominated. Parents thought it would be good for me to get away for a while. I'd never been to America. It's like a free vacation. Sunnydale has Bringers with knives and vampires with teeth. Hebron has terrorists with guns and bombs. Trust me, I feel safer here.

ANYA: How does it feel to be the Chosen One from the Chosen People?

Giles fears Anya's bluntness will offend Ariella. But Ariella laughs.

ARIELLA: That's what my dad and my rabbi and my brother Jon and half the people in town said. Still kinda funny.

WILLOW: A Potential who's one of the Tribe. Pretty cool. I'm Willow. Willow Rosenberg. But you can just call me Willow.

ARIELLA: Sure, Willow. Call me Ella. So you're supposed to be Jewish?

WILLOW: I am Jewish.

ARIELLA: Really. Where's the nearest temple?

WILLOW: Uh, um, well, the nearest? To this house? Let me think.

Ariella laughs and walks away.

WILLOW: Temple Beth El! I can give you directions if you want.

GILES: She knows where Temple Beth El is. But it's reform. I drove her to B'rith Kodesh for services today, since she's orthodox.

XANDER: If she already knew, why did she ask?

ANYA: Obviously Ariella doesn't think Willow's a real Jew, and this was her way of showing Willow up.

Izora walks through the dining room.

ANYA: Hey Izora! You're Berber. And you understand English?

IZORA: Yes. Some. And you can call me Zora. Or Izzy. But I like Zora better.

ANYA: I've heard that your people have some great vampire curses. You know. What's the word? What's that word? Sokhta! Vampire sokhta?

As a former Vengeance Demon, Anya knows the word for curse in more than 150 languages and dialects.

IZORA: I know one. The worst.

GILES: Your people give them souls?

IZORA: How is that the worst possible curse? It's just stupid. Waste of vengeance. They make it so the vampire cannot drink blood. Human or animal. If they do, they throw up. Vampire starves. Becomes a skeleton. Wants to stake itself, but is too weak to lift the stake. Finally, after a month or two of famine, the vampire crawls out into the light to end its misery.

SPIKE: She's right. That would be the worst.

Izora remembers something and goes over to tell Ariella.

SPIKE: Always knew there was a reason vampires were scared of Berber country. They have a reputation. But Gypsies. Who knew? Dracula lived surrounded by them for centuries, not once did they try to curse him. Then again Vladi always was a nancy boy.

Izora and Ariella laugh and point at Willow.

WILLOW: What's so funny? [Ariella comes over to explain]

ARIELLA: Izora just told me how when the Arabs invaded the Maghreb, some of the Berber tribes told the Arabs they were Jewish, because the Arabs treated Jews better than they treated pagans. The tribes kept this up for centuries. And the ones that claimed they were Jewish the longest were also the ones which possessed the most powerful magics. Fake Jews make the best magicians. That would explain you, Willow.

Ariella laughs and walks away. Willow is very hurt.

WILLOW: Did she just make fun of my heritage?

ANYA: I believe she made fun of your lack of heritage.

It had been five hours. Faith had walked ten miles and killed more than 30 vampires. It was like a nightmare where freedom is more arduous than imprisonment. Perhaps it was some sort of ordeal where she had to suffer for her sins and fight for redemption. But this wasn't a parable. It was real life, with a real metropolis engulfed in darkness and overrun by vampires. Two blocks ahead, three vampires were attacking a young woman. One of the vampires was on top of her, about to bite her neck. Faith runs to the rescue. But her heart is no longer in it. She feels like an automaton, some vampire killing robot. By the time she arrives, the girl has been bitten but she is still alive. Faith grabs the vampire, picks him up off the girl and throws him to the curb. The other two vamps attack Faith. She leaps in the air and kicks the one to her right in his face. Then she spins around and hit the vamp to her left with a spin kick. The vampire who had been biting the girl leaps at Faith. She grabs him, throws him on his back, gets on top of him, and stakes him. The other two vamps charge her while she is down. Faith stands up, a stake in each hand, and puts her arms out, impaling both vampires. The girl is still on the ground crying. "Thank you. Thank you," she tells Faith. Faith helps her to her feet. But before she can say anything she sees two vampires attacking a man a block away. She runs to the rescue once again.

FAITH: Hey losers. Let him go, and I'll let you go. Don't need any more dust on my jacket.

The vampires let go of the fella and charge Faith.

FAITH: Why don't you ever run away?

She grabs their heads and slams them together.

FAITH: You know how this is gonna end.

She kicks one in the chin. She grabs the other and throws him through a store window. The other one punches her in the right cheek. She pulls out her stakes, one in each hand. She stabs for his heart with the left. When he uses both hands to block this potentially fatal blow, she stabs him in the left eye with the stake in her right hand. Both his hands grab the eye. He yells in pain. Faith stakes him through the heart. The other vampire runs out of the store. Faith puts her right foot up and hits his nose with the sole of her boot. He backs up. She approaches. Her head's tilted downward. She's bruised and bleeding and has a blank look in her eyes. Her knuckles are purple from all the punishment she's dished out. Her feet are sore and blistered. Faith just wants it all to end. She hurls the stake in her right hand at the vampire. He catches it and laughs. This makes her furious. She screams, charges him, hits the vampire four times in the face, and stakes him when he goes down. Faith falls to her knees.

FAITH: What the hell is wrong with this city!!

She sits on a nearby bench and puts her head in her hands. She's had enough.

Several young people, including the two she has just saved, go running into a nearby home.

ANNE: What were you doing out? You know better than that.

COREY: There was a woman out there. She killed them. She saved us.

Anne smiles and looks out the window.

ANNE: She came back.

Anne is in for a surprise. And Faith, who is already exhausted and angry, will not like being compared to Buffy, even if Anne means it in a good way.

Things are hectic at the Hyperion. Vampires are pouring in. Angelus is at the back of the lobby, trying to control the chaos.

ANGELUS: One at time. Relax. No demon faces! Do you want to scare away the meals? And for the love of all that is evil, act civilized or I will stake every last one of you!! [they hush up] That's better. [Angelus goes up onto the landing and puts his right arm around a vampire.] Oscar, you have to take care of the crowds. Have you considered opening the ballroom in the basement?

OSCAR: It's already open. And filled to capacity. Even got a piano player and a wet bar in there.

ANGELUS: It's so gratifying to find good help. Get these peons into some rooms. We have plenty of residential capacity, and we need to open up the lobby. Charge them everything they have. Gouge away.

OSCAR: Doing it as fast as I can, boss.

ANGELUS: Oscar, I could kiss you. No I couldn't. But that's how proud I am of you.

OSCAR: It's an honor to serve you, Angelus.

ANGELUS: And the best part is, I know you mean it. Back to work.

Angelus lightly slaps Oscar twice on the cheek. Oscar continues doing "vampire intake." Angelus walks down the stairs and enters his old office, which is now Cecil's office. On the wall is a large map of Los Angeles. Cecil has shaded the regions the soldiers have covered. A red line goes from downtown in an arc to the south and east. Angelus smiles.

ANGELUS: You guys are the best! You should teach my old friends how to run a business. Right before I kill them, of course. No, wait, kill Wesley, kill Charles, make Lorne the love slave of a Galgorosh demon, and sire sweet, sweet Winifred. She could be your secretary.

CECIL: I suggest you focus on bigger game.

ANGELUS: I smell a surprise. Is it happy surprise? It better be.

CECIL: The vampires who are currently flooding your establishment are not fleeing the soldiers of fortune. There is a Slayer in town.

A huge grin comes across Angelus's face. His eyes twinkle with delight.

ANGELUS: Buffy!!!

CECIL: I said Vampire Slayer, not Vampire Layer.

ANGELUS: No need to get catty about it. So it's Faith. [the twinkle returns] I've never had a chance to play with her. Always love a fresh target.

CECIL: The red line on this map tracks her recorded progress today. She's killing everything in sight. The folks running in here say she's killed dozens. But she's alone. And by now she must be tired. We know her rough location. You said yesterday was lucky. Today looks even luckier.

ANGELUS: Cecil, Cecil, Cecil. How many Slayers have you fought?

CECIL: Do I look like a moron? None.

ANGELUS: So which one of us has the expertise on this matter?

CECIL: And what, in your expert opinion, should be our course of action?

ANGELUS: She's alone. She won't be for long.

CECIL: What makes you think that?

ANGELUS: Her former Watcher's in town. He's something of a complete failure. Has a way of turning everything he touches into a Titanic-level disaster. I can't wait to see what he does this time. And that's not even close to being the best part.

CECIL: It's not?

ANGELUS: Faith's a bad girl trying to turn over a new leaf. And guess who turned her over? Angel.

CECIL: Psy ops. Your specialty. You'll be playing her like a Strativarius in no time.

ANGELUS: You know something? I'm glad it's not Buffy. I hate reruns.


	10. Fighting the Good Fight

[Buffy prepares and deploys the drastically enlarged Scooby Gang for battle. Connor learns that in Sunnydale, the men are the damsels. Faith meets Anne, Anne talks with Lindsey, Faith talks with Lindsey. Spike and Wood start fighting the hellbeast, as Connor and Buffy start fighting the Turam. Gwen pays Gunn a surprise visit, then meets Faith, who mistakes her for an assassin.]

Spike and Wood drop their weapons chests on the basement floor, next to Buffy's and Giles's and Connor's, though Connor's arsenal is far smaller than the others'. Buffy separates the weapons by type. 24 people need to be armed. While deciding which weapons will work best, Buffy anticipates a new danger.

BUFFY: The last uber-vamp didn't come alone. He brought Bringers with him. While Connor and I are fighting the Turam, you'll have to defend yourselves. We have six crossbows. Kennedy, divide them among your best shots.

Kennedy takes one for herself. She tries to decide who else to pick. Molly's had a lot of practice. So have Rona and Amanda. But then there are all the new girls. Not paying attention to Kennedy, Izora and Ariella each take a crossbow and a few bolts. They load and walk to the part of the basement that is farthest away from the target on the wall near the stairs. Izora aims and hits the bull's-eye. Ariella does the same a few seconds later. Everyone turns to see who was shooting.

KENNEDY: You two can take those.

Next to the cot he used to sleep in, Spike sees the bag with the knives from the Bringers Connor massacred. He dumps them on the floor.

SPIKE: I know what I'd do. Kill em with their own weapons. Each of you girls take two. There's enough to go round. Come at em with these, and you'll remind them of all their mates you've killed. Nothing like a little intimidation.

WOOD: Brandishing trophies from your victims. Don't you think that could backfire?

Spike doesn't know Robin's not talking about the Bringers. He's talking about his mother's coat. He sees Spike's latest idea as proof that he hasn't changed.

BUFFY: Couldn't hurt. Load up.

Within a few minutes all the edged weapons had been taken by someone.

BUFFY: Almost forgot. My secret weapon.

Buffy reaches up onto a metal shelf and grabs the Hammer of Thor. Connor looks at it and smiles. He imagines swinging it at the Beast. He knew there was something they hadn't tried.

CONNOR: I can think of a few demons I'd like try that out on. [he also imagines whacking Angelus a few times with it. Not to kill him. Just to establish dominance.]

Buffy smiles. Maybe this is her chance to show this kid up. Buffy tosses the hammer to Connor, who is ten feet away. If she's lucky, the momentum will cause him to stagger back, maybe even fall over. Connor catches it with both hands. The hammer head lightly hits his chest. His back arches a few inches. Then he steadies himself. Buffy's surprised she didn't tip him over. Connor's surprised the thing's so heavy. He throws it back at Buffy. She grabs it without any signs of difficulty. She flashes Connor a look of satisfaction. She feels she won this round. No one else takes notice of this, so it doesn't help Buffy with her p.r. battle. But she knows fighting the Turam will take care of that. They all head upstairs. Everyone assembles in the living room and the front hallway, where Buffy addresses her "army."

BUFFY: So the portal's in the parking lot at that strip mall. You're sure?

GILES: Two miles south of the Hellmouth. Far enough away to divert your attention, but close enough to still harness the Hellmouth's energy to create the portal.

BUFFY: No reason for this thing to show before the Hellbeast sticks his head above-ground. It might even keep us waiting. We'll have to fight on two fronts at once. Giles, how long does it take this snake to crawl out?

GILES: It's more of a hydra, and at least two hours. Perhaps three.

BUFFY: Spike, Robin, you take the school. Giles, Willow, Anya, Xander, you back them up. Willow, how's the spell coming?

WILLOW: The barrier should buy us time. With Anya and Giles helping, 20, maybe 30 minutes.

BUFFY: Good. Connor – you and me head to mall. Wait for the Turam. The Potentials stay with me at all times. Kennedy, make sure they remember the formations Giles taught them. We kill the Turam, we head over to the school, finish the job. Have I left anyone out?

Buffy looks over her shoulder, and sees Dawn standing on the stairs, looking forlorn. Connor notices her loneliness.

BUFFY: Dawn, protect the house, keep Andrew safe.

DAWN: If you're not back by midnight, should I be expecting the world to end? 

Some pre-apocalypse humor. The newbies don't get it. Then again, none of them were nearly ritually sacrificed in an attempt to destroy the universe.

BUFFY: We'll be back by 12:30, 1 at the latest.

They walk through the kitchen. Connor grabs and apple and starts eating. As they move through the backyard, Ariella cajoles two Potentials into giving their crossbows to her. Izora gets one Potential to hand hers over without saying much. But Kennedy resists. She's an excellent shot, and has far more practice than either Ariella or Izora. In fact, down in the basement was the first time they've used crossbows. But both of them have plenty of experience with rifles, and they see a crossbow as a rifle without the back kick. In other words, a piece of cake. Connor notices what Izora is trying to do. He stands in front of the tree in Buffy's backyard and whistles. The Potentials turn around. Connor winks at Izora and puts the apple on top of his head. She points he crossbow at Connor, closes her left eye, and aims.

GILES: You have got to be kidding me.

SPIKE: Always wanted to see someone try that William Tell stuff.

WILLOW: Buffy! You have to stop this! It's insane. Connor's insane!

BUFFY: Haven't I been trying to tell you all week? Relax. He's always bragging about his reflexes. If she misses, I'm sure he can catch it.

Izora is about 100 feet away from Connor. She fires. The bolt goes through the apple, pinning it to the tree. Connor steps away. Everyone gasps in wonder and relief.

SPIKE: Bloody good show. Remind me never to piss that bird off.

Izora looks at Kennedy and holds out her right hand. Kennedy seethes and reluctantly hands over her crossbow. Connor pulls the bolt out of the apple and finishes eating the fruit. He loves an inspired act of insubordination. He runs up to Izora and gives her back the crossbow bolt.

CONNOR: You left this back there.

She doesn't completely understand what he says but realizes he's joking, so she smiles. Ariella and Izora then hand their crossbows over to six of the recent arrivals, basically making these girls into their squires and forcing them to carry their weapons around when they're not using them. Ariella and Izora look at each other and gesture to their helpers, giggling.

ARIELLA: Goyim.

IZORA: Fakirs.

KENNEDY: Line up.

The 16 Potentials form up in a hollow square, four girls a side. Kennedy is in front in the middle. Molly, Amanda, Rona and Vi, the next most experienced Potentials, each take one of the corners.

KENNEDY: Forward march.

SPIKE: [to Giles] A Slayer phalanx. How adorable. Pretty soon you'll have them counter marching and wheeling around like the Coldstream Guards.

The Potentials walk forward in an orderly fashion. Buffy is in the van, leading the way. Behind her is Spike and Wood. Xander and Anya are on the left of the Potentials, with Willow and Giles on their left. Connor brings up the rear, to protect against any Bringer ambushes while they're in transit. They first swing by the school to drop off Robin, Spike, Giles, Willow, Anya and Xander. Buffy briefly goes in to give them a few words of advice and encouragement. The Potentials stand in front of the school with Connor. To her left, Amanda sees Preston leaving the gym at the end of basketball practice. His varsity jacket hangs loosely over his gangly frame. In school the day before, he had not acted very friendly towards Amanda. She didn't understand why. She runs over to him. He is about 400 feet away from the Potentials. Of course Kennedy yells for her to come back, but she doesn't listen. Kennedy tells Connor to go after her.

AMANDA: Preston. Wait up! We need to talk. What's wrong?

PRESTON: Why don't you ask your boyfriend?

AMANDA: My what!?

PRESTON: Him! The guy running after you. [Connor arrives]

AMANDA: He's not my – Connor, go away! Go back with others. [Connor backs up about 50 feet.] Connor is NOT my boyfriend.

CONNOR: She's right. I'm not. [Amanda was talking in a normal speaking voice.]

PRESTON: How did he hear you!? [Preston looks at Connor suspiciously.]

AMANDA: Forget about him.

PRESTON: I have to go. [Preston starts to walk away. Amanda follows]

AMANDA: Preston. Preston please. There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time.

PRESTON: What?

Right then, a vampire leaps from behind a parked car and lands to Preston's right.

AMANDA: Duck!!!

PRESTON: Wha???

Preston gets hit in the face. He throws a right hook which hits the vampire but doesn't do any damage. The vampire lands a right hook of his own, knocking Preston on his back. The vampire bends down to bite him. Amanda pulls him up by his hair. The vampire throws a left. Amanda ducks and hits the vampire in the chest with a right roundhouse kick. The blow knocks the vampire backwards into a nearby tree, staking him on a branch. Amanda helps Preston up.

AMANDA: Are you all right?

PRESTON: Wha-wha-what was that?

AMANDA: It's gone. I took care of it.

PRESTON: I saw. [grabs his bruised cheek and breathes a sigh of relief] You save me.

Amanda grabs Preston and kisses him. He's a little shocked at first, but quickly realizes this is what he wanted [the kiss, not the fight], puts his arms around her, and kisses her back. After ten seconds, Amanda steps back.

AMANDA: I have to go. See ya in school Monday.

She quickly kisses Preston again and then runs back to the Potentials. Preston stands there for a while, smiling and dumbfounded. He doesn't know who these girls are she's running off to, or what Connor is doing all alone with all of them, or what the funny-looking thing was which attacked him. But he knows Amanda's his girl, so he won't sweat the other details, no matter how inexplicable they may seem.

MOLLY: So that's how Slayers get boyfriends.

Amanda returns to the formation just before Buffy comes out.

RONA: Buffy, if you save a guy's life, does he like you and want to be your boyfriend?

BUFFY: Sometimes. [a gross understatement. Too bad Xander's not around to explain the male damsel in distress model] Why?

VI: A vampire just tried to kill this guy. Amanda staked the vampire and made out with the guy.

BUFFY: You what!??

AMANDA: I know him from school! We've been kind-of almost about-to go out for months now. I killed a vampire. I saved a life! Why are you acting like I did something scandalous? And yes, I kissed him, but we didn't make out. I mean, come on. We're in public!

Buffy decides to let the matter drop. She's too focused on the looming apocalypse to be hypocritical, seeing as how she once had sex with Spike on the front lawn. Connor is very familiar with the damsel in distress model. After all, he's Angel's son. But he didn't know it could work the other way, with the guy falling for the girl who rescued him. He's beginning to realize that this is how things work in Sunnydale – the women protect the men.

Buffy, Connor and the Potentials continue on to the parking lot where the Turam is supposed to show. It's a four-mile hike from Buffy's house, and takes nearly 90 minutes. No one talks on the way, in part because moving in formation mitigates against conversation, but also because everyone's nervous. The Potentials have no idea what to expect. They've never experienced an apocalypse. But Connor thinks that whatever happens, it won't be worse than what he'd experienced before coming to Sunnydale. They arrive around nine. The Potentials form into a circle, standing shoulder-to-shoulder, prepared to meet an attack from any direction. Connor sits down on the ground and leans back. Buffy's standing, nervously watching the Potentials, alert to all possible threats.

CONNOR: So now what? We wait? For how long? Maybe I should have brought a book to read. [he spots a nearby fast food shop.] Can I get something to eat?

Anne runs to her room and grabs a wooden cross and a small bottle of holy water. With this protection, she ventures outdoors to find Buffy. It's been four-and-a-half years. She can't wait. Anne is sure Buffy will be shocked at how well she's done. Then again, it was Buffy saved her and inspired her to make something of her life. Anne sees a brunette hunched over on a bench with a duffel bag next to her. A runaway, no doubt. A potential victim, certainly. Anne wants to get her inside before it's too late.

It already is. A vampire recognized the Slayer. She looked tired, beaten down, easy pickings. He leaps at her before Anne is close enough to protect this seemingly helpless girl. Faith looks up. She grabs the vampire and pushes him away. He leaps at her again. She kicks him away. Faith slowly stands up. The vampire throws a right punch. She blocks it. A left. She blocks it. Faith's on autopilot, literally slaying in her sleep. She pushes the vampire back, then kicks him in the stomach with her right foot. He tries a kick. She ducks, then kicks him in the mouth with her left foot. She blocks a few more punches, head-butts the vampire in the nose, then stakes him.

Anne is astounded. It wasn't Buffy after all. Anne walks over to Faith.

ANNE: You're the one who's saving everybody.

FAITH: Occupational hazard.

ANNE: Do you have a place to stay?

FAITH: How much?

ANNE: Nothing. Free. [Faith looks dismayed]

FAITH: Honey, don't take this the wrong way. You're cute. But I'm not that type of girl. I didn't do that even when I was in prison.

Anne is more than a little shocked by Faith's interpretation of her offer. The prison thing doesn't bother her. Plenty of the kids she works with have records. Drugs, petty theft. If she knew what Faith was in for, then she might be nervous.

ANNE: I run a settlement house near here. You're welcome to stay.

FAITH: A runaway shelter. No thanks. I can take care of myself.

ANNE: At least stop by. There are a lot of kids there who would like to thank you.

FAITH: I'll try the meet-and-greet. [they start walking back] What happened to the sun?

ANNE: We don't know. It's been like this for weeks. That's why it's so dangerous out.

FAITH: Trouble always finds me.

ANNE: So you do this a lot? Save people in trouble?

FAITH: Sort of my destiny. Ain't fate a bitch?

ANNE: You're not from around here, are you?

FAITH: Beantown, once upon a time. Been California nightmaring longer than I care to remember.

ANNE: This may sound crazy, but I used to know a girl who fought and saved people like you do.

FAITH: You don't say? [her bad luck continues] City of 3 million, and I have to meet one of B's old friends.

ANNE: So you know her?

FAITH: Did. Unfortunately. [Faith was good before she met Buffy. She became good again when she left Sunnydale. She can't help but make the connection.] So you're from Sunny D?

ANNE: Lived there for a little while. Then I came here. Then she came here. Then she went back home, after saving some people, including me, again.

FAITH: Sounds like trouble finds you too.

ANNE: Not anymore. I try to get others out of trouble.

Faith enters the lobby of the shelter. About 40 young adults look at her in awe. It makes her feel a little uncomfortable. Some of the people step up and try to thank her. Faith just wants to rest.

FAITH: Somewhere I can sit down?

The people on a couch in front of her stand up. In prison this sort of thing happened because people feared she would hurt them. These kids don't fear her. They admire her. That's new for Faith. She slouches down on the couch.

FAITH: Got anything to eat or drink around here? Haven't had a bite since breakfast.

Suddenly she's deluged with food and drink from the grateful masses. She reaches into her jacket pocket to pull out some of her cash.

FAITH: I'll pay all of you back. I'm good for it.

"It's the least we could do," one of the young men mutters. She takes her hand out of her pocket. She's really thirsty. Walking and slaying for more than 5 hours straight can do that to a person. After finishing a bottle of juice, she looks around. Two or three of the guys in this place are cute. She's practically being worshipped, and right now it appears she can have anything or anyone she wants. Also, she has three years of pent-up sexual energy. But Faith is very tired and mighty sore and definitely not in the mood. Today, slaying's made her hungry, but not horny. After eating a little, she walks over to Anne.

FAITH: Gotta say, you're a little too young and bouncy to be pullin' the whole Mother Theresa Sisters of Mercy Act. Is there something I'm missing? No offense, mother superior. I'm just used to a world where things aren't quite what they seem.

ANNE: Trust me, so am I. I'll spare you the riveting details. Saving them was the only way to save myself.

FAITH: You spare me. I'll spare you. All 5x5 by me. Got a tub anywhere in this place?

Finally, Faith can lock the door and be alone to relax, clean herself up, and soothe her battered body. It was her first bubble bath see when she was in Buffy's body. Except in this instance, she has nothing to feel guilty for.

Lindsey had been using as many old contacts as he could remember to track down Faith. He was sure it wouldn't take long. Faith wasn't a shy girl. She had a way of attracting attention everywhere she went. First he tried police contacts. Then demon-fighting contacts – people he'd both worked with and against, often simultaneously. The police knew nothing. Whatever chaos Faith caused was a drop in the bucket compared the overall city-wide crisis. A few of the demon-fighters had heard rumors about a Slayer. But no one took those seriously. They had expected the Slayer to come up from Sunnydale weeks ago, and had long since given up hope. Then Lindsey decided to approach the problem from another angle. He found out where Anne was and gave her a call.

LINDSEY: Hey Anne. It's Lindsey. How are you handling the expansion?

ANNE: It's been hectic. Paperwork's a grind. I get worried we're becoming too corporate, too impersonal, too big. But I'm helping more kids, which is the whole point, right?

LINDSEY: Or so you've always reminded me, even when I wasn't in it for the right reasons. I'm back in town, and I'm looking for someone. Young, alone, out-of-towner. Obscenely powerful. Kids tell you anything today about a woman fighting vampires out on the streets?

ANNE: Brunette? Attitude for miles?

LINDSEY: Where is she?

ANNE: With me.

LINDSEY: I'll be right there.

ANNE: I'd give her an hour. She's cleaning up. It's been a very rough day for her. What do you want with her?

LINDSEY: She's going to do a favor for an old enemy of mine.

Principal Wood had cleared out all the furniture from his office earlier in the day. The room was completely bare when they entered.

SPIKE: Love what you've done with the place. Did you decorate it yourself?

Wood glares at Spike. The fact that Spike is joking at a time like this only confirms his suspicions that Spike takes nothing seriously. He didn't even carry any weapons over, claiming as his excuse that he didn't have a coat to carry them in. Spike's wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt. He lights up a cigarette. Wood gives Spike another dirty look. His nonchalance seems to know no bounds.

SPIKE: What? No smoking? Good thing school's out.

Spike walks around like he hasn't a care in the world.

SPIKE: What's Xander cooking up out there?

WOOD: Flood lights. From his construction site. So we can see the monster after it knocks out the electricity.

SPIKE: That was your idea, I take it.

WOOD: Yes. You have a problem with it?

SPIKE: Hardly. I think it's great you found some way to keep the hardhat busy. Everyone likes to think they're doing their part.

Willow, Giles and Anya are preparing for the spell. They sit in a triangle around the room.

SPIKE: Showtime already?

GILES: We need to get the barrier up before the beast emerges.

SPIKE: I take it we should step out of the way?

GILES: I would strongly advise that.

Spike pokes through Giles's weapons.

SPIKE: Mind if I use your swords?

GILES: Better than fighting it with your teeth.

SPIKE: I hadn't thought of that. Thanks. Could be useful in a pinch.

The Potentials are nervous, standing out there in the open, knowing that if danger comes Buffy won't be able to protect them. Ariella and Izora familiarize themselves with the crossbows' loading mechanisms, as the other Potentials practice handling their weapons to pass the time and distract their minds from fears of imminent death. In addition to those already mentioned, the remaining Potentials are named Rose, Heather, Theresa, Fadila, Joan, Erica and Rebecca. Sensing the anxiety, Kennedy moves to the center of the circle and addresses the Potentials.

KENNEDY: I know you're scared. We're all a little scared. Most of you have never been in a situation where you had to fight for your life. And fighting for your life is scary. Especially when you're alone. But right now, you're not alone. We're in this together. We fight together, no one dies, and we all make it home. Bringers are scary. But if one of them attacks, each of you has 15 fighters backing you up. Remember that when you start to feel scared.

Lindsey enters Anne's shelter. She sees him, smiles and walks over.

LINDSEY: Haven't seen you in, what, seven months? How are things?

ANNE: Pretty good. The education center started up in December.

LINDSEY: Nice to know the endowment's already made a difference.

Faith walks out into the lobby. She spots Lindsey. He spots her.

ANNE: She has her doubts about you. Can't say I blame her.

LINDSEY: Can't say I do either.

Faith and Lindsey go off into Anne's office to talk.

FAITH: Let's cut to the chase. Who do you want me to kill this time?

LINDSEY: First of all, you failed the last time, so why would I hire you as an assassin again? Second, I'm no longer a part of that. Haven't been for almost two years.

FAITH: Aww. That's sweet. Another lonely tortured soul traveling down the redemption highway. Tell me, what did it? What drove you over the edge? Made you give up on being a bad, bad boy? Cause when I met you, you really liked being bad. I could tell, because I didn't.

LINDSEY: I know. Otherwise you would have killed Angel. You could take him, right?

FAITH: In a heartbeat. Well, not his. Since he doesn't have one. Answer my question. What crossed the line, made you hate yourself?

LINDSEY: A woman. The firm was using her. I fell in love with her. When she died, I realized that my job was costing me more than it could ever pay me. Not like it was a sacrifice leaving that job behind. Never had to pay a price like you. I'm not big on redemption. Don't think feeling sorry for myself does much good for my soul.

FAITH: That reminds me. Ya know if Angel's around?

LINDSEY: Angelus is. [Faith looks devastated]

FAITH: He lost his soul.

LINDSEY: And that's where you come in. I'm working with his old friends to keep him from doing too much damage until his soul gets restored.

FAITH: Right. I should believe you. Cause this time you're playing for the good guys.

LINDSEY: I know I haven't earned your trust yet. But I have a place on the top floor of the Hilton where you can rest, and a couple good fighters who will be delighted to work for you. And if this is all a trick, you can beat me into unconsciousness and go back to fending for yourself.

FAITH: Always nice when the guy knows he's got more to lose.

She leaves with him. On the way back, Lindsey explains who she'll be working with. They get into the hotel elevator. Faith is laughing.

FAITH: Wesley's a tough guy?

LINDSEY: Got rid of the helmet hair. Chucked his razor, grew some stubble. And his accent seems to come and go.

FAITH: You mean he's frontin' like a tough guy, but he's still Wesley inside?

LINDSEY: The soldiers respect him. They tell me he's a fighter, a risk-taker.

FAITH: That I gotta see. And the others? Black guy named Gunn. Smart shy girl named Fred. Mind-reading lounge demon?

LINDSEY: The post-Mod Squad. Don't worry. They're a lot better than they sound. Very experienced. Won't turn tail and run, even when they should.

FAITH: And I'll meet them when they come back from leading your soldiers into battle. A girl can get lonely after three years in the clink. But a whole platoon? That's a bit much even for me.

They get to the room. Lindsey puts in the key, and the door unlocks electronically. Faith is rather impressed by the accommodations.

FAITH: Wicked awesome. Sure beats beats the state pen. This Place is the bomb. Wait. [She pauses, has reservations, and looks at Lindsey.] Aren't you a little young to be playing Sugar Daddy?

LINDSEY: Faith, that's not what I'm doing.

FAITH: Just out from prison. Put me up in a fancy hotel. Don't play dumb. First you're my lawyer. Then you're my "Watcher." I get it now. You're not evil. You're just lonely and horny.

LINDSEY: Then why did I send Lloyd to visit you? You didn't belong in prison. Wolfram could have gotten you off. You weren't doing the world any good behind bars. I do good things, I do people favors, because I can afford to. I'm no saint. Don't wanna be. And you think I'm stupid enough to try to take advantage of you, Faith? Remember what I said about knowing you could kick my ass.

FAITH: Is that your argument for everything?

LINDSEY: Better than "don't look a gift horse in the mouth." I have some work to do down the hall. You can rest up until the others return. Door's locked. Floor's locked. You'll be safe.

Willow's spell, which she does in conjunction with Anya and Giles, creates two sets of barriers. One just above the hole in the basement, and one just below the office's floor. Spike, Wood and Xander stand around watching. The flood lights from outside illuminate the office. At nine, the earth shakes below them, but the demon can't break out of its hole because of the first barrier. This holds for for five minutes. After that, Willow does the spell alone, trying to maintain the other barrier. It holds for 15 more minutes. Then the demon gets smart. A few of its gray tentacles go around the barrier, bursting through the floor in an adjacent room. They brake through the wall and grab Willow. One tentacle wraps around her waist. The other wraps around her neck and head. The barrier falls, and the demon's head bursts through the floor in the center of the room. The head is green and six feet in diameter. It is reptilian in appearance, but when it opens its mouth it becomes clear that in addition to reptilian teeth on its upper and lower jaws, it also has beneath its jaws inward-facing teeth arranged in a circle, like those of a lamprey.

Wood runs over to Willow and cuts her free with his daggers. Spike tosses his cigarette to the floor and attacks the creature's head. He is armed with Giles's short samauri sword, which is two feet in length. Spike plunges the blade into the demon just above its nostrils. Another one of its tentacles seizes him. Spike cut himself loose, only to be assailed by a second, smaller head. He tries to strike it, but it keeps moving back whenever he tries to strike it with his sword. Robin grabs his scimitar and cuts this head off. Another head bursts in through walls and attacked him. Two sets of tentacles shoot out from the demon's neck and grab his arms. Willow quickly employs a spell to create a small ball of fire, which she shoots at the head. It backs up, giving Giles and Xander time to cut Robin free with their axes. After recovering from Willow's singing blow, the head shoots back forward. Anya leaps at Xander from behind and pushes him down to the ground just before the hydra's head would have gobbled up his head. Giles strikes it with his ax, and Wood chops it off at the neck. Another small head comes up through the floor and attacks Spike. He kicks it away, then moves back away from the center of the room so he will be better able to fend off attacks. He grabs Giles's long samauri sword, and with its four foot blade slices through the head which was attacking him. He looks around, and realizes they were just treading water.

SPIKE: A hydra. I get that now.

Gunn, Wes, Fred and Lorne come into the headquarters in high spirits. The hunt had gone very well.

GUNN: I told ya. The vamps in the valley are soft.

WES: No more cowardly than vampires in the rest of the city. It's geography. The narrow, steep valley gave them nowhere to run.

FRED: And nowhere to hide. In a residential neighborhood, they were literally locked out.

LORNE: I'm sorry to say this, but I really do love the smell of napalm in the morning. Or whatever time of the day it is.

LINDSEY: I have good news, and great news. Angelus has stayed put. And Faith is here.

WES: That is great news. Can I see her?

LINDSEY: She spent the whole day fighting vampires. I'd let her rest.

LORNE: I don't know about you guys, but round-the-clock fighting has left me anything but bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

FRED: Scary thing is, with him that's not just an expression. [Lindsey and Gunn look somewhat shocked]

LORNE: Just a little one. I've been meaning to have it removed, but it's so hard finding a good demon plastic surgeon.

The phone rings

LINDSEY: Don't worry. It's my business line. Hello. Yeah. Conference Room C. Tell them I'll be right down. [Lindsey puts on a tie and a new jacket] Chamber of Commerce thing. Lorne's right. You all should get some rest. Any news on the Angelus front, I'll beep you.

Lorne, Fred, Wes and Gunn head home. Charles has a surprise waiting for him at his apartment. Gwen is sitting on his couch, watching "The Maltese Falcon."

GWEN: Never figured you for a Bogart fan. "Key Largo," "Big Sleep," "To Have and Have Not." But no "Casablanca."

GUNN: Not a big believer in giving away your girl to the guy with the funny accent.

GWEN: I guess Bogart makes sense for you. Conflicted. Complicated. Doesn't make a big show out of being a hero. Drawn to lethal women. [raises her eyebrows flirtatiously]

GUNN: So this visit isn't about business?

GWEN: Business. Personal. In your world, they're always connected. Your boss. Your old boss, I assume. He attacked me.

GUNN: Angelus tried to kill you?

GWEN: Angelus? Take about pompous. Has to have a separate name for his alter ego. And yes, he did try to kill me. Being electric, my blood's too spicy for his tastes. Does he do this a lot?

GUNN: Lose his soul? Happened once before.

GWEN: So that's what happened. So much for free will. I swung by his place. Doing the whole Lestat thing, times 100. Where do you desperados hang your hats now that you've been exiled from Xanadu?

At 9:50, 30 minutes after the hydra broke through the floor in Wood's office, the Turam materializes in a parking lot two miles south of the Hellmouth. The stores had all closed at nine, and the parking lot is empty, save for the Potentials, Buffy, Connor and the Turam. Since they are arrayed in a circle, half the Potentials aren't facing the demon. They anxiously turn their heads now-and-then to catch a glimpse of the action. Connor leaps at the Turam and kicks him in the face. The demon throws a left hook. Connor ducks. To Connor's left, Buffy jumps up and kicks the demon on the chin. He backs up a few steps. Connor charges in, and the Turam kicks Connor ten feet backwards with his left foot. Connor falls on his back. Buffy hits the Turam's face with left and right punches. The demon throws a left hook, but she ducks and hits him twice in the stomach. The Turam throws a left hook. Buffy backs up out of the way. The Turam takes a step forward and lands a powerful right hook to Buffy's face. The demon kicks her in the chest with his right foot. She flies back and falls down near Connor. The both get up as the Turam slowly approaches. He opens hiss massive jaws and lets out a mighty roar which sends chills down the Potentials' spines.

CONNOR: Should we try that thing?

BUFFY: If I go down, you run straight back to the girls.

Connor moves behind the Turam. The demon turns to the side, trying to keeping his right eye on both Buffy and his left on Connor. Buffy makes a feint to get the demon's attention. Connor kicks him in the ribs and then retreats. Buffy kicks him in the stomach, then lands a roundhouse to his head. The Turam faces Buffy, forgetting about Connor for the moment. Buffy attacks gingerly, and the Turam hits the side of her head with a right cross. Buffy backs up a step. The Turam moves forward. Connor leaps up from behind, wraps his legs around the demon's neck, and punches down on the Turam's face over and over. The Turam reaches up to try and dislodge Connor. Buffy grabs her Thor Hammer and wails away on the Turam's chest. It staggers backwards. As usual, Connor is exceedingly stubborn. His legs are too strong for the Turam to dislodge them with its paws. Connor's head is up too high for the Turam to punch it. The demon tries grabbing Connor's arms when he punches its face, but the Turam's hands are too big, and Connor's are too small. They keep slipping out of the demon's grasp. Buffy lands a few blows to the feet and knees, and the Turam falls on its back. As the Turam goes down, Connor leaps forward and lands near Buffy. He grabs an ax. They both go in to do more damage. Connor tries to strike the neck. But the Turam reaches his left arm up, grabs the ax handle, and tosses Connor to the left. Buffy swings for the face. The Turam rolls to the left. The hammer misses the demon and makes a dent in the pavement. The Turam rolls backwards and stands up. He leaps at Buffy and punches the hammer head, knocking it out of her hands. She tries a left spin kick. The demon grabs her left ankle. Its grip is too tight for Buffy to do a backflip to escape. She gets lifted up in the air, pile-driven head-first into the dent her hammer made, and then tossed 20 feet backwards. Connor charges from the other side and swings for the Turam's neck. The demon ducks, grabs Connor with the right paw, lifts him up, hits Connor once in the face with a left hook, and tosses him back so Connor falls into Buffy right when she stands up.

The demon makes a dash for the Potentials, or as he sees them, the numerous victims his adversaries have so thoughtfully brought for him. As Buffy runs back to guard them, Connor leaps at the Turam's knees, tackling him. The Turam falls on its face, tusks first. That hurts, and it lets out a whimper. But the demon pushes his hands against the ground and quickly rises to his feet. Buffy and the Turam trade blows. He's confused. The woman isn't a demon, and she is far too durable for a human. Connor kicks him in the back, then leaps over the demon's head so he's next to Buffy. The Turam can sense that Connor's part vampire – in other words, one of his descendents, a part of his "family." Of course, he can't speak in any language a human could understand, so he won't be able to reveal the news to Buffy. Buffy and Connor each land a few kicks and punches before the Turam decks Connor with a left hook and Buffy with a right. They quickly get back up.

Tired of fighting, the Turam turns around and tries to run away and find food that will put up less resistance. Buffy and Connor chase him. He's fast, but not nearly as fast as they are. The Turam turns round and realizes it will have to continue fighting. Buffy and Connor back up a few steps to avoid getting swiped by the demon as it spins towards them. They are now 100 feet from their weapons and 200 feet from the Potentials. Concealed behind hedges that run between the parking lot and the road are many Bringers. They decide that this is the moment to strike.

Faith gets up after her nap, takes a shower, and gets dressed. She walks out of the bedroom and into a large living room wearing black leather pants and a black midriff-baring top. Faith gets something to drink from the fridge and sits down, putting her feet up on an ottoman.

Gwen decides to check out the gang's new digs. Access to the 20th floor is only available to those with keys for rooms on that floor. No problem, since the keys are electromagnetic. Gwen gets out of the elevator. She is wearing red leather pants, a red midriff-baring top, and red gloves.

Faith hears a click at her door. Gwen enters. She is definitely not one of the gang Lindsey described to her. As someone who's been facing near-constant attempts on her life for weeks now, Faith is understandably suspicious. She stands up. Gwen knows this woman is not part of Angel's old gang. Gunn neglected to mention anything about Faith.

FAITH: Who the hell are you?

Gwen walks over to her. She's a few inches taller than Faith and looks down at her from six feet away. Faith doesn't want to give this possible assassin the chance to hurt her.

GWEN: They didn't tell you about me? I'm hurt.

FAITH: You will be.

Faith opens with a right kick, which Gwen blocks. She spins around and hits Gwen with a left kick to the stomach. Gwen tries a right kick. Faith grabs her foot. Gwen does a back flip to get free.

FAITH: Not bad. But I can do better.

Gwen and Faith approach one another. Faith does a forward round-off, kicking Gwen in the head. Gwen throws a right jab that Faith blocks. Gwen tries a left cross which Faith ducks. Faith responds with a left-right combination. Gwen blocks both blows. Their arms are tied up, and Faith pushes Gwen back.

FAITH: Playtime's over, sweetie.

Faith leaps through the air, pummeling Gwen's body with a flying right spin kick. Gwen is knocked back through the air, slams into the wall and goes down. She slowly gets back up.

GWEN: Okay, now you asked for it. The gloves are coming off, honey.

Gwen removes her right glove. She steps toward Faith and tries to touch her with her right hand. Faith reaches across and grabs Gwen's right hand with her right hand. The shock sends Faith flying ten feet back and to the floor.

GWEN: Why aren't you unconscious?

Faith looks up to Gwen in astonishment.

FAITH: What the HELL are you?

GWEN: I'm a freak. And I'm guessing so are you.

Next: The Potentials work together to fight off the Bringers. Connor and Buffy work together to defeat the Turam. Wood and Spike work together to keep everyone alive. And Faith tells Gwen about Slayers.


	11. Buffy and Connor Together

[The Potentials go medieval on the Bringers. Gwen has a few questions for Faith about Slayers. And Buffy and Connor work as a team to defeat the Turam.]

Connor and Buffy land right punches to the Turam's face. Connor kicks the demon in the stomach. Buffy kicks him in the nose. Both avoid the Turam's punches. But while Connor has gotten good at anticipating these punches, he neglects to watch out for the demon's kicks. He punches the demon in the chin, and gets nailed in the stomach with a left kick. He flies back but stays on his feet, though the wind is knocked out of him. The Turam allows Buffy to get close to him and land a few more blows before grabbing her throat with his right paw. He lifts her up in the air. Connor leaps to the rescue, but is knocked down by the back of the Turam's right hand. Buffy feels the tusks brush against her hair as the Turam leans in to devour her head. At the last moment, she manages to push her legs against the demon's chest and propel herself backwards. She does a back flip and lands on her feet. The Turam charges forward and clotheslines Buffy with his right arm and Connor with his left. The demon stomps once on each of their rib cages before they manage to stand up. Both of them are bruised and bloodied. They back up to buy time and move closer to their weapons.

Out of nowhere, eight Bringers charge the Potentials from all sides.

KENNEDY: Now!!

Izora, Ariella, Fadila, Erica, Heather, Rebecca, Theresa and Joan take a step back. Kennedy, Amanda, Molly, Rona, Vi, Chao-Ahn, Madari and Rose now each have room to use their weapons. Fadila, Erica and Heather each grab a crossbow and crouch next to Izora. Rebecca, Theresa and Joan do the same for Ariella. Izora and Ariella are handed their first crossbows. They fire. Izora hits a Bringer in the forehead, and Ariella hits another Bringer where its right eye would have been. Both fall down. They are handed their second crossbows and fire. Izora sends a bolt through a Bringer's neck. Ariella's shot enters a Bringer's mouth and goes into his brain. Izora's third shot goes in through a Bringer's right ear. Ariella's hits a Bringer in the heart. The first shots were fired from 60 feet away, the second from 30, and the third from ten.

The two uninjured Bringers charge into the Potentials, but fail to break through their crown-shaped formation. Amanda stabs one through the heart right before Madari cleaves the Bringer's skull with an ax. The other Bringer dodges Rose's and Vi's initial blows, but Kennedy moves to her left, sticks out her sword, and runs the Bringer through before he can do any damage. The Bringer who was shot through the eye and the one who was shot through the neck stand up. Heather, Rebecca, Erica, Fadila, Joan and Theresa now pour out and attack. Two other Bringers were also trying to get to their feet. Amanda, Vi, Molly, Madari, Rose, Chao-Ahn and Rona follow. In vain Kennedy tries to call them back, reminding them of the dangers of breaking formation. Izora and Ariella are crouched down right behind Kennedy, busily reloading their six crossbows.

KENNEDY: Nice shooting.

IZORA: Nice stabbing. Good leading.

ARIELLA: You're right. The others should have obeyed you and stuck together.

Remember, some of the Bringers fell as far as 60 feet from the Potentials' circular "schiltron" formation. So the 13 Potentials who ventured out become widely dispersed. What followed was a purging of their fears and frustrations through blood lust. This was payback time. They stabbed and hacked away at the Bringers. Vi, Rona and Molly each slit one of the Bringer's throats while they were still on the ground. Amanda beheaded one Bringer. The other three outlying Bringers were all cut down and badly mutilated by the other nine girls. And then, out of nowhere, eight more Bringers descended on the scattered and unsuspecting Potentials.

KENNEDY: There's more! Get back!! Get back!!!

Rose, Fadila, Joan, Chao-Ahn and Theresa are all close enough to return to Kennedy before the Bringers get close to them. Izora shoots a Bringer which is about to overtake Rebecca through the heart. Ariella hits a Bringer who is approaching Madari in the chest. Izora hits one in the neck, and Ariella hits another in the forehead. Rona, Molly, Madari and Rebecca make it back safely and rally around Kennedy. Izora's final shot goes in one of the Bringer's cheeks and out the other, failing to take him down. Ariella's last shot hits a Bringer in the forearm when he raises his arm to protect his face. Vi and Erica make it back. Heather is tackled from behind by the Bringer who had been shot through the cheeks. Vi charges out and kicks that Bringer in the face. He rolls off Heather and she and Vi return to the formation. By now the schiltron is pretty ragged, with groups three or four girls standing shoulder to shoulder, making a lopsided circle with gaps.

Rather than get tackled, Amanda turns and fights. She kicks the Bringer in the face. Then she tosses one of her daggers into its chest. The Bringer goes down and she returns to the formation. On the other side of the circle, on of the two uninjured Bringers charges at Rona, Joan, Chao-Ahn and Theresa. Rona steps forward and brandishes her two Bringer daggers. This show of confidence inspires Chao-Ahn, Theresa and Joan to do likewise. They surround the Bringer and stab him to death with their eight daggers.

When the Bringer that Vi kicked got to his feet, he was 15 feet from the Potentials. Kennedy charges out in a preemptive strike. She swings at the Bringer with her sword. He ducks and moves towards the Potentials. Kennedy kicks him in the back. The blow knocks him into the Potentials. Off-balance and unprepared, he is cut to ribbons by Molly, Heather and Vi. The Bringer who had been shot in the forearm closes with Erica and Rose. They are both tentative. Fadila, who stands five feet to the Bringer's right, comes across and stabs the Bringer in the neck. Erica and Rose finish him off as he falls to the ground. The other uninjured Bringer comes at Madari and Rebecca. Madari's ax swings keep him at bay, but he kicks Rebecca in the face. Kennedy comes over and chops off the Bringer's right hand with her sword. Madari plunges her ax into the right side of the Bringer's neck. Rebecca gets up and stabs him with her daggers.

The Bringer Amanda hit in the chest with one of her daggers gets up. He pulls the dagger out and tosses it at the Potentials. Kennedy, alert as always, knocks it down with the blade of her sword. He throws one of his own daggers, which Amanda knocks down with the blade of her sword. He brandishes his final dagger and charges into the Potentials. Izora and Ariella throw their four daggers at the Bringer. All of them hit him in the chest. He slows down and raises his dagger right in front of Amanda. She thrusts her sword through his jaw and out the top of his head. Two of the Bringers Ariella and Izora shot down rise to their feet. The Potentials charge out at them, and at the other two Bringers who lay dead with only crossbow wounds. This time Ariella and Izora run out, but just to retrieve their daggers from the Bringer's stomach. Kennedy is powerless to call the 15 girls back into formation. After sufficient mutilation assures them that all Bringers are dead, they return to Kennedy. All of them survey the devastation they caused, and are a little in awe of what they have achieved. 16 dead Bringers. 16 live Potentials without a scratch.

GWEN: So you were normal. Then one day you wake up and you're Supergirl. You have to save the world. And, oh yeah, you're marked for death. It doesn't make sense. Why would they do that do a teenage girl?

FAITH: They needed someone to fight the demons.

GWEN: That part I get. But why a teenager? Why put all that responsibility on a girl in high school? I'm a lot more reliable now than I was back then. Slayers called in their mid-20s would handle the pressure a lot better.

FAITH: Never thought about it that way. Guess if I were called a few years later I might not have burned out then faded away.

GWEN: And why only one girl? If they could make one, why didn't they make more? The more the better. Either those Council men didn't think this through, or they had other motives than saving the world.

FAITH: They're not dirty old men. Least not the ones I met.

GWEN: Like hell they aren't! That's why they pick nubile, fresh young teenagers. They like em young! Its a fetish. Bunch of lonely old men who want to see underage hotties bouncing around and kicking ass. Or a bunch of lonely college guys who read comic books and want to bring their fantasies to life. Pygmalion for the D&D set. That's why they have to die so quick! Guys get bored with one girl, want to see another. Then another. Then another. They're using you for more than just saving the world. No other reason to make em so young and kill em so quickly. Feeds their fetish.

FAITH: What about you? Why the dominatrix pose? Talk about fetishes.

GWEN: I was born a freak by accident. You were made one on purpose. I work for myself. You work for a "Watcher," who sounds like he's part-coach, part-voyeur.

FAITH: Wesley was my Watcher.

GWEN: Didn't figure him for the type. Dirty? Kind of. Old? Definitely not. Young enough to try to abuse his power.

FAITH: He didn't. One of the few good things I can say about him.

GWEN: Certainly not a pompous stuffed shirt.

FAITH: Are we talking about the same guy?

GWEN: English. Gritty. Acts like some Foreign Legion expat who can't go home. Wes ain't bad. But he ain't Gunn, either.

FAITH: He's the one you called Denzel, right?

GWEN: That might not be fair. Gunn's a lot younger that Denzel. And I think he's taller. Plus he doesn't just play a tough guy. He is one.

FAITH: And he used to be with the smart shy girl. the one Wes likes?

GWEN: I think he's still hung up on her. But he is available.

FAITH: Sounds like you're ready to snap him up.

GWEN: We have a whole flirtation thing. Plus I killed him and brought him back to life. Creates a bond.

FAITH: If you can't touch people, can they touch you?

GWEN: Not without receiving more than a little static electricity.

FAITH: So you've never been - ?

GWEN: Nope. It's a barrier between me and the rest of the human race. But there's a twist. My touch makes people die. But it brings vampires back to life. The electricity jump-starts their hearts. For a few seconds, anyway.

FAITH: You can boink the undead. [smiles.] But only the undead. Have you? Couldn't blame you. It's been known to happen with girls who actually do have a choice. [Buffy reference, of course, though Faith would have done Angel if she had the chance.]

GWEN: This stays between you and me.

FAITH: I'm all with keeping secrets.

GWEN: I have. Twice. With two different vampires. But that's all.

FAITH: Nothing to be ashamed of. Can't say the same about some of the losers I've humped. [she's not thinking of Xander. He compares well to some of the other losers Faith's bedded.] One of em wasn't Angel, was it?

GWEN: We just kissed. [she slept with Angelus, not Angel] He was trying to take something from me, so I zapped him. Instead of dying he came to life. You should have seen the look on his face when he felt his heart beating.

FAITH: Talk about making a good first impression. What did he want from you?

GWEN: Axis of Pythia. Worth about 30 mil. Finds people in other dimensions. As I was stealing it, Angel was also trying to steal it in his own inept way. He followed me to where I was meeting my fence. Pleaded that he needed it to find the woman he loved.

FAITH: Buffy was in another dimension?

GWEN: Who's Buffy? [Faith realizes what's going on and grins at the surprise.]

FAITH: Buffy WAS Angel's one true love. His only love. They were willing to die for each other and all that Romeo and Juliet crap. But she moved on, and I guess he did to. This new girl have a name?

GWEN: Cordelia. [Faith bursts out laughing]

FAITH: Next you'll tell me Buffy's taking it from Xander. Forget it. What the hell happened? Cordy always had a mad jones for him, but Angel felt NOTHING. She didn't turn him on at all. And what was CC doing in another dimension?

GWEN: Ya got me. Something about becoming a Higher Being. Said she was omniscient. From wherever she was, she saw me kissing Angel.

Faith pauses for a few seconds to absorb the implausibility of what she's just heard.

FAITH: I won't even try to make sense of that. Sounds like CC changed a whole wicked lot. Maybe that's why Angel said he loved whatever she had turned into. What was she like when you met her?

GWEN: A real bitch.

FAITH: That's the Cordy I knew.

GWEN: Angel and her were fighting like some old married couple. Had him on a pretty tight leash. Every time he strayed too far away, she'd yank the chain, metaphorically.

FAITH: B also dominated Angel. He must like it that way.

The Turam rushes Buffy and collides with her, knocking her down. He takes off in the direction of the Potentials. Connor quickly retreats and gets in the demon's way. They trade punches. Connor goes down. Buffy catches up to the Turam and kicks him in the face. The Turam kicks back, knocking Buffy down. Buffy and Connor are 60 feet from the Potentials. They both realize they will need weapons to take down this demon. Connor picks up a sword. Buffy grabs the giant hammer. Connor leaps over the Turam so that he is behind it. Buffy remains in front and swings the hammer at the demon's chest. He blocks the blow with both arms. Connor jumps in the air and swings for the Turam's neck while it is occupied with Buffy. The sword goes about an inch into the neck and gets stuck. The Turam turns around to strike Connor. Without his weapon, he retreats a step. Buffy nails the demon in the spine with her hammer. He arches his back in pain. Connor does a backflip and lands a kick to the demon's chin. Buffy strikes the Turam in the right knee. It bends that leg. Connor charges, leaps up, grabs the sword's handle. pulls the blade out of the Turam's neck, and lands next to Buffy.

BUFFY: You make a really good diversion.

Connor is wounded by such faint praise. But he is more wounded by the Turam's left hook to his jaw. Buffy does an uppercut swing for the demon's head. He grabs the anvil-sized hammer head with both hands and pulls the hammer away from Buffy. She looks very nervous.

BUFFY: Now would be a GREAT time for another diversion, Connor.

Connor knows he can't decapitate this thing with his sword. So he rushes in and stabs the demon through the chest. He strikes Connor's back with the hammer. Connor goes down. Buffy winces, figuring the blow must have at least broken several of Connor's ribs. Such a hit would have knocked her out of the fight. The Turam opens its mouth, roars, and raises the hammer about his head. Buffy steps back and flinches. The Turam kicks her in the chest with his right foot. Seems the Turam knows a little something about diversions as well. Buffy feels her sternum collapse inwards to the point where for a split second it squeezes her heart against her spine. She tumbles to the ground 20 feet away. The Potentials, about 90 feet from the Turam, watch the action with growing concern. The Turam throws the hammer at Buffy. She rolls out of the way. The hammer makes several large dents in the pavement as it hits the ground turning end-over-end. While the Turam was throwing the hammer, Connor reached up and pulled his sword out of the demon, who winced in pain as the blade left his body. Connor stood up, ready to continue the fight. Buffy is stunned by his quick recovery. She realizes Connor is more than a great diversion. He is possibly the world's best punching bag.

Connor swings for the demon's right wrist. The Turam grabs the blade in the palm of his right hand, and squeezes tight. He wrestles the sword away from Connor as drops of demons' blood fall to the ground. Connor knew this thing was tough. But it had skin. Not rock skin. Fleshy skin. This wasn't supposed to happen. Connor throws right and left punches, hitting the Turam in the stomach. The Turam sends Connor flying with a left uppercut. Then he grips the sword with both hands and splits the steel apart. While Connor's down, Buffy crawls over to him and whispers in his left ear.

CONNOR: And what do I do?

BUFFY: Stay on your feet.

CONNOR: You always take the easy part.

Buffy scowls and grabs a large ax. Connor gets up and approaches the Turam, weaponless. Connor has a large red bruise covering his right cheek, and a gash to the outside of his left eye. His nose is bleeding, and he spits blood out through his teeth. Buffy has a large red and purple bruise on her forehead. There's a cut across the bridge of her nose, a blue bruise on the left side of her jaw, and a laceration down her right cheek. Both of them also have substantial internal injuries from all the pounding they have incurred.

CONNOR: You think you're tough? I've fought demons a lot tougher than you. (well, a demon) You've haven't even broken a single part of me. [He holds his arms to the side] Go ahead. Try to hurt me. We'll see who breaks first.

The Turam throws a right hook. Connor ducks.

CONNOR: Always leading with the hooks. [he's applying what Spike taught him about anticipating his opponents]

The Turam throws a left hook. Connor moves his head back and out of the way. Then he leaps at the demon and hits its left tusk with a right jab. The demon yelps in pain.

CONNOR: I knew you had a weakness.

The Turam clobbers Connor's face with a right jab of his own. Connor feels a little lightheaded and takes a few steps back. But as the Turam connected with the blow, Buffy leaped at him from his right side. She drove the large ax blade about two inches into the Turam's eight-inch thick neck. Connor immediately resumes his attack. He leaps at the Turam and kicks him in the chest. The Turam staggers back a few steps. Connor throws a left cross at the demon's right tusk. The Turam grabs Connor's left wrist with his right paw. He pulls Connor up and open his mouth. Connor tries to strike the left tusk with his right fist. The Turam grips Connor's right arm with his left paw. Connor's feet are in the air. He can't use either arm. And in a second his head will have been bitten of. Meanwhile, Buffy runs back and picks up her Thor Hammer. She looks at Connor and thinks he's doing a wonderful job of preventing the Turam from dislodging the ax.

Connor puts his head forward and down, and his feet up in the air. He does a forward flip, placing his body behind the Turam's so they are back-to-back. As he holds onto Connor's arms, the demon's arms are pulled backwards. When the joints can bend no further, the Turam lets go. Connor falls to the ground and crawls between the Turam's legs, narrowly avoiding getting stomped on. Buffy thinks it's wonderful. Connor's making sure the Turam will never see her coming. Connor wonders what's taking Buffy so long. He gets to his feet, and is hit in the right ear by a left cross. He hits the Turam's left tusk again with his right fist. The Turam lets out an anguished cry, looks down at his adversary, and hits Connor's skull with a thunderous right cross. Connor's knees buckle, but he stays up. He blocks a right hook. The force of the blow hitting Connor's arms staggers him. He hits the demon in the chest with a right roundhouse kick. The Turam is puzzled by the tensile strength of Connor's bones. He thinks Connor's a vampire-human hybrid. Yet he is more durable than most vampires.

This turns out to be the last of the Turam's thoughts. A fraction of a second after Connor landed that kick, Buffy strikes the back of the ax blade with her hammer. This pushes the blade through six inches of the Turam's neck (it was already two inches in). He strikes Connor to the ground with his right forearm. Connor looks up, sees what had happened, and smiles.

CONNOR: Looks like you broke first.

Buffy drops her hammer and stands in front of the demon, looking relieved. The Turam's head slowly bends to the left, like a falling tree trunk. After five seconds, it breaks off from the demon's neck. The head bounces on the ground a few times before settling on its side. The body falls forward, pinning both Buffy and Connor underneath it. They feel a mighty wind slowly strip the flesh off the demon and carry it up in the air. The Potentials look on in wonder. Usually vampires turn to dust in an instant. After 30 seconds, the flesh is gone, leaving behind only a skeleton. The same thing happens with the skull. Buffy and Connor lift up the skeleton and flip it over so they can stand up. Connor is stoked when he sees what remains.

CONNOR: This is the best trophy ever! I call the head.

Buffy picks up the hammer and smashes the skull with a single blow.

CONNOR: You don't have to be so rude about it.

She takes the hammer to the skeleton. After eight blows, it's been pretty much pulverized. Connor is confused and disappointed.

CONNOR: Why did you do that?

BUFFY: When the demon leaves a skeleton, you turn the skeleton to powder. Otherwise really bad stuff can happen. Like the demon being resurrected. 

Ironic, since Connor's mom was resurrected, although she turned to dust.

CONNOR: You've killed one of these before?

BUFFY: Nope. He was weaker and smaller and not as bright as this thing. Come to think of it, he wasn't very masterly at all.

Masterly? Master!? THE Master!!? Holtz told Connor a vampire called The Master sired Darla. Surely that wasn't who Buffy was talking about. It's a generic title. Also, Holtz told Connor that without Angelus the Master would not be able to return to the earth's surface. Connor lets it pass.

Buffy is shocked at the sight of all those Bringer bodies. They way they were hacked apart and disembowled indicated that the Potentials enjoyed this killing.

MOLLY: You see wot we did all by ourselves?

BUFFY: Hard to miss.

RONA: Aren't you proud of us?

BUFFY: Astonished.

They take this as a great compliment. Buffy knows about the dangers of bloodlust, especially among Slayers. She believes that such reveling in "the thrill of the kill" leads down a slippery slope which turns warriors into amoral killers. Connor is of the opposite mindset.

CONNOR: This is amazing! How many did you get?

KENNEDY: 16.

CONNOR: I knew you could be warriors if Buffy gave you the chance. Great work!

The Potentials are flattered by Connor's effusive praise. Now HE was in awe of THEM. Talk about role-reversal. Buffy walks up to Kennedy.

BUFFY: I'm glad you kept them safe.

KENNEDY: They kept themselves safe. We worked together.

Kennedy saw what the Bringers did to her Watcher. She knows what the Bringers did to other Potentials. So she won't chastise the girls for going a little overboard with the payback.

BUFFY: We saved ourselves. Now it's time to save the world. You know, the hard part of the evening.

It was after ten. Connor picked up a broadsword and his small double-bladed ax and put the weapons on his belt. Buffy took a long sword, a short sword, and the large ax, putting them on her belt. They would return to collect the other weapons later.

BUFFY: Kennedy, we have to hurry. Get to the school as fast as you can. Stay together.

Connor speeds off early. Buffy thinks this is another instance of his showboating. Connor has a 100 yard head start before Buffy takes off. She catches up at the half-mile point. Connor wants to talk.

FADILA: What's the deal with Connor? He's even more comic book-y than Buffy.

MADARI: You think he's more powerful than Buffy?

FADILA: Not more powerful. More cartoonish. I get the sense you could throw him off a cliff, drop an anvil on his head, put a stick of dynamite in his mouth, and he'd still walk away.

BUFFY: Good fight.

CONNOR: You too.

Remember that they are having this leisurely conversation while running at 30 miles per hour.

BUFFY: You know something? We may not like each other, but we make a pretty good team.

CONNOR: My courage and your cunning.

BUFFY: You mean my brains and my brawn, plus your brawn and your . . . resilience.

CONNOR: That the toughest thing you ever faced?

BUFFY: Nah. Probably in the top ten, though.

CONNOR: Same with me. Not even close to the worst thing. At least we could pierce his skin.

BUFFY: Not like he was a god or something.

CONNOR: There's only one God.

BUFFY: Maybe in this dimension.

CONNOR: What do you know about other dimensions?

BUFFY: Just that they should keep away from this world.

CONNOR: What about this hellbeast? What are we up against? [he wasn't there when Giles gave the specifics.]

BUFFY: Big snake. Lots of smaller snakes coming out of it. Cut off the heads and keep them from biting you.

CONNOR: Is it a giant serpent, a dragon, or a hydra?

He fought all three in Quor Toth. At least that's what Holtz told him they were.

BUFFY: It's big. It's world destroying. We kill it. Cut off its head. [she's mimicking Connor's speech and thought patterns, parodying him.] Do dragons really exist?

CONNOR: In this dimension? Would't know.


	12. From the Jaws of Death

Lindsey enters and sees Faith and Gwen chatting away.

LINDSEY: You're up. And you made a friend?

GWEN: Dark good looks. Soulful eyes. You must be the one in charge.

Lindsey bristles at the Angel comparison. Makes him feel like he's not his own man.

FAITH: Lindsey, this is Gwen.

GWEN: I'm here to help.

She holds out her right hand. Lindsey shakes it. He notices her gloves.

LINDSEY: Lindsey MacDonald. It's a pleasure, Gwen – what's your last name?

GWEN: Raiden.

Lindsey thinks for a few seconds.

LINDSEY: How exactly are you going to help? I don't need anything stolen.

GWEN: My reputation proceeds me. Wish I could say the same for you.

She flirts with powerful men by playfully cutting them down to size.

LINDSEY: My old law firm used to hire you for a lot of jobs. Always liked to do pickups at power stations. Giant transformers screwed up your abilities, in case you wanted to double cross us.

GWEN: You worked for the Death Star? I deal with a lot of sleazy characters in my line of work, but those bastards were just full-on evil. Well well well. Aren't the three of us just brimming with moral ambiguity.

LINDSEY: I still don't understand what brought you up here.

FAITH: She knows Angel. And the others.

GWEN: We've worked together more than once. I was ran into Gunn and he mentioned that he was working with you. I saw Angel, or Angelus – you really have to wonder about people who name their alter egos – a little while back.

LINDSEY: You met Angelus. And yet you're alive. Practically unscathed, from the looks of it. I suppose you could be of some use to me. So when did you get into vampire hunting?

GWEN: After they started hunting me. I mean, after Angelus started – thing is, I'm immune. Can't be bit.

LINDSEY: Too much juice coursing through your veins?

GWEN: I figure it gives me a certain natural advantage. Plus I'm not too bad with the kicking and punching.

LINDSEY: Figured that would be true for someone in your perilous line of work. I'm about to lose 40 soldiers. But I'm gaining you two women. That's a trade I'm more than happy to make. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go check on Angelus. I've tagged him so we can track his every move.

GWEN: And he wasn't even that stealthy to begin with. [by her standards]

At the high school, not much progress had been made. Xander and Anya had long ago fled outside, well away from the monster. Giles also retreated outdoors. Willow was able to use magic to create temporary barriers over a part of the battle zone, allowing the fighters a chance to rest for a few seconds. She could also repel the hydra's attacks every now and then. But she was unable to do any serious damage, while the monster learned how to attack her from behind. She had also retreated outside. But the demon's head had broken through the wall. Its head and some of its neck – ten feet of monster – now lay outside. That Robin was still inside – and still alive – was a marvel in itself. He was careful and smart and well-armed. He was able to chop away at the monster's tentacles and ancillary heads, but an attack on the demon's serpentine body would have been suicidal. The hydra simply had too many defenses. It could shoot out extra heads and innumerable tentacles at anyone who tried to approach its body.

Which left Spike. To him, the fact that the demon's head had slithered outside was a cause for hope. It meant the monster could not swallow him whole. All that now stood between him and the monster's soft underbelly was an endless supply of new heads and tentacles. The few times he had managed to fight through these defenses, he could only make an ineffectual slash at the main body before a jumble of tentacles picked him up and carried him away. By the time he would cut himself free, he was back where he had started. Call it the Sisyphus school of demon fighting, or as Spike would term it, the "Angel Approach." He had waited long enough for Buffy and Connor to show up. It was time for Spike to do what he did best: throw caution to the wind and risk his life with unbridled recklessness. Victory or ruin – Spike knew no other way.

Spike goes bumpy, growls and leaps into a sea of enemies. With his two swords, he hacks away everything within reach. Against a hydra, this merely buys a few seconds. It can regenerate tentacles and ancillary heads forever. One of these new heads buds out of the serpent's body. The head and the neck behind it form a sizable serpent by themselves. The head swoops towards Spike from his left and bites him across his chest. Tentacles had wrapped themselves around both his wrists. He breaks free, but drops both his swords in the process. He puts his hands on the sides of the head that was biting him. He digs his fingers under the skin, gets a good grip, twists and snaps the serpent's neck. As always happens with one of the extra heads, it disappears when it was killed. Spike bends down to pick up his swords. Before he can reach them, a rather thick tentacle wraps itself around his throat and picks Spike up, driving his head through the ceiling. It tries to strangle him. Spike laughs. Well, he tries to laugh. But that's just about impossible when air can't travel through your windpipe. The end of the tentacle wraps around the lower part of Spike's face. Big mistake. He opens his mouth and bites down on the tentacle. It quickly pulls back, freeing Spike, who falls to the ground. Another head shoots at him. He kicks it away, reaches out, and grabs his weapons. Then he gets up and fights his way out to relative safety.

SPIKE: Hey Wood!!! Robin!! Are you still here!?

From across the room Robin yells back.

ROBIN: It's my office!!

SPIKE: Can you get to the beast's body!!? 

ROBIN: Can you!!!?

SPIKE: I'm going in right now. To cut it!! But it's a 2 person job!

ROBIN: Ready when you are! [he doesn't want to get shown up by Spike]

SPIKE: Now!!!

Spike's is 20 feet from his goal. Wood is 20 feet away from the demon on the opposite side. Spike leaps through the air, slashing and wounding a head that lurches at him. When he's five feet from the body, several tentacles grab his legs and pull him down. He cuts himself loose and gets to his goal, plunging both swords into the demon. Wood behaves more judiciously. He takes out a long dagger and tosses it into the hydra's central body from 20 feet away. Then he hurls a small ax into the creature. Hoping that these wounds will distract it, Wood pulls out his two scimitars (the ones Connor filched when he went demon-killing with Amanda) and advances forward with arms out and blades ready. When he gets within ten feet, a head shoots out at him. He slashes it, and it retreats five feet, but then shoots back out. Wood slashes it with the sword in his right hand and stabs it through the skull with the sword in his left. After that, he leaps at the snake's body and slashes it with both his swords.

The snake's body is six feet wide and six feet high, so Robin can't see Spike on the other side. But he can see one of Spike's swords. Spike is carving through the demon's side with his long sword. Robin tries to finish the cut on his side. But a tentacle grabs him round his waist and pulls him through the office's side wall. Holding onto his swords, Robin is able to cut himself loose. He slams into the wall of the adjacent office and falls to the ground. On the other side, a small head bites Spike's left hamstring. Taking firm hold of his leg, it drags Spike away. His two swords remain stuck in the hydra's body. While getting dragged along the ground, Spike turns and bites a chunk out of the creature's neck. It lets go. Spike spits out the demon flesh and stands up. He's back where he started, more than 20 feet away from the demon and his weapons. And he's been badly mauled. Which only means he's going to try harder. He won't let this demon get away with hurting him like this.

While Spike and Robin slashed away at the hydra's body, its head writhed and cried out. Giles, Willow, Xander and Anya could tell it was hurting. This gave them hope. However, the flood lights only allowed them to see glimpses of Spike and Robin amidst the great chaotic mass of the creature they were fighting. So focused were they on the hellbeast that they didn't see Connor and Buffy approach. But they sure felt it. Buffy and Connor ran by at such high speed that Xander, Willow, Anya and Giles were buffeted by the gust of wind they left in their wake. It was like having a motorcycle zip by. Connor and Buffy immediately joined in the fight, trying to get at the demon's head. It deployed its defenses, and they cut away at them. Buffy's friends were shocked at how fast she and Connor were traveling.

ANYA: Wow. They just –

WILLOW: Talk about your –

XANDER: I believe the words "beep beep" come to mind.

GILES: Buffy!!! Where are the Potentials!!?

Buffy ran over to Giles.

BUFFY: The girls are fine. They'll be here soon. Where's Robin? And Spike?

GILES: In there. Somewhere.

BUFFY: Connor!! Help them!

She motions inside. He jumps into the fray, as he always does. Connor is to the right of the hydra from Giles's point of view. That's the side Robin is on. Connor quickly finds him. Buffy goes in on the left side.

WOOD: Connor! Is Buffy here?

CONNOR: Yeah.

Connor leaps into the fray, but Robin pulls him back.

WOOD: Fight as a team. I'll show you where I've cut it.

BUFFY: Spike! What happened?

SPIKE: Flesh wounds. Nothing that can kill me. How bout you help me find my weapons?

BUFFY: You lost them?

SPIKE: I stuck them in the enemy. Got a good start on decapitating this wanker. Go to the weapons, finish what I started.

BUFFY: Okay. You rest. I'll bring them back.

SPIKE: Rest? You must be bloody kidding.

BUFFY: What will you fight it with?

SPIKE: Follow me and see for yourself.

Buffy takes out her broadsword as Spike wades into the danger zone. She doesn't have time to care about Spike going bezerker, and moves in after him, prepared to rescue him as usual. Spike grabs a few tentacles with his bare hands and rips them apart, growling. A head tries to bite his. Spike ducks. The snake, jaws wide open, moves in on Buffy. She cuts it up. Spike leaps at the demon's body and grabs hold of his weapons. Tentacles wrap around his ankles and pull him back a few feet. Buffy rushes in. She sees where Spike's cut the beast. On the other side, Connor leads the way with his broadsword. He's familiar with serpentine and reptilian demons from Quor Toth. They kill with speed and quick reactions. These happen to be Connor's greatest strengths. Thus he is adept at fighting them. He's always been good against creatures which can neither overpower nor outsmart him. Robin follows closely behind, covering Connor's flanks. He's never seen the boy in action before, and he's more than impressed. Connor's hand quickness is astounding. He responds to attacks he can't with something akin to either a sixth sense or sonar. Wood realizes that Connor's approach to fighting is nothing like that of a Slayer. He is instinctive. Slayers are taught, learning from training and experience. Robin sees what Buffy doesn't: Connor fights like an animal.

Spike punches a head that comes out at him. Buffy moves in and kills it. She carefully approaches the demon. Spike wraps his arms around another serpent head. He is pulled down to the ground, where he continues wrestling the creature. After a little while, he puts his fist through one side of its neck and out the other. When he gets up, he notices that Connor and Buffy have already made it to the demon. Spike rushes to catch up. He pulls his weapons out of the Beast a few seconds before Connor and Buffy finish decapitating it. Outside, Giles and the others see the hydra's eyes turn black, then close. The creature appears to die. For a second, everyone but Spike and Robin think they have finally prevailed.

The head melts into a green ooze. But the body is still very much alive, and starts to squirm. Wood runs across the opening between the dead head and the live body so he could be near Buffy. The body turns upwards. It is now a hollow tube, with giant inward-facing serrated teeth at the opening. These teeth open and close, and the new mouth turn towards Connor. He leaps over the creature, landing by Buffy, Robin and Spike. The monster turns to its right, where the four attackers now are. It tries to grab them with its tentacles. Robin has already retreated, and Buffy quickly follows. The demon tries to swallow Connor. He leaps above it and cuts the hydra's upper lip with his small ax. He lands on top of the demon, but before he can stab it with his sword, the monster whips its body and sends Connor through what was left of the side wall. Spike exploits Connor's diversion to stab the monster. It turns and tries to take care of him. The hydra raises its head in the air and comes down on Spike. He jumps back out of the way. The hydra makes a large hole through the floor. Having forced its enemies to retreat, it slithers outside as far as it had gone before losing its original head. Giles knows this is bad. The further out it comes, the closer it is to opening the Hellmouth. The books told him beheading the monster would do the trick. Obviously that hadn't worked.

Spike looks at the hole in the floor and smiles.

SPIKE: Bout bloody time we got lucky.

Spike leaps down through the hole and lands on the basement floor. Buffy looks down.

BUFFY: Spike!! What the hell are you doing!?

WOOD: Cutting it off at the roots.

Lindsey is with Wes, Gunn and Fred in the command center. Faith walks in.

FAITH: A lot's changed since I went upstate. Maybe the days of poking em with sticks are over.

Everyone turns around.

WES: Oh. Hello Faith.

FAITH: So that's what a rogue demon hunter looks like. If I'd didn't already know ya' I would assume you were badass.

WES: I see one of us has changed.

FAITH: You know that if that were true you'd be tied to a chair by now.

Fred and Gunn look rather confused and just a tad horrified.

WES: Touche.

FRED: So this a Slayer. Didn't expect you to look so . . . vampy. 

GUNN: Great to have you on board. We could use a little muscle.

Fred glares at Charles. She worries he's a bit too friendly with Faith.

FAITH: Fred and Gunn. So tell me, is Wes really a tough guy? Cause I have some stories I can tell you –

WES: That's not necessary.

Gunn smiles. He loves the idea of embarrassing Wes in front of Fred.

GUNN: Maybe later. After we finish off our next patrol.

FAITH: Cool. Where do you patrol? [she's thinking a cemetery]

LINDSEY: Around here.

Lindsey points at a map of the city, indicating the territories they are going to cover over the next three hours.

FAITH: Stupid me. Forgot you had an army. Where are they?

LINDSEY: Downstairs. It's about that time.

Gwen pops her head in.

FRED: What is she doing here?

FAITH: Same thing I am.

Fred doesn't know if that thing is vampire hunting or hitting on Charles. Lorne walks in.

LORNE: Ready to roll, munchkins? Gwen! What a delightfully colorful surprise. And you've brought a friend. A stylish partner in crime?

LINDSEY: This is the Slayer.

LORNE: Faith? Honor to meet you. Like they say – if looks could kill. I'm Lorne, a harmless and entirely friendly demon. One of the ones you DON'T kill? You have those, don't you?

FAITH: I do now. Just don't go reading my brain without permission.

LORNE: Don't worry. I've already learned that lesson. From Wesley, ironically enough.

Faith gives Wes a funny look. He's made nervous by the reference to his Connor abduction.

The gang goes outside and meets the troops. Faith walks up to them.

TIMOTHY: This doesn't look anything like the Slayer you described.

GRAHAM: That was a different Slayer. And I'm beginning to think Sunnydale got the dud.

The soldiers are awestruck by Faith's presence. Faith greatly appreciates Graham's compliment. Too bad for him that this Slayer doesn't date soldiers. Well, not anymore.

FAITH: Who wants to be with me?

The men all look rather enthusiastic. She just meant which team should she patrol with.

WES: I believe Faith's with my team. [they look happy]

LINDSEY: She goes with Lorne. To balance things off. He doesn't fight. You do.

Wesley's team looks disappointed. Lorne's looks happy. Wesley wanted to play Watcher. Ironically, he's too tough to play a mere Watcher. Gwen walks over. As if Faith's presence hadn't excited the soldiers enough. Gwen also excites their guns, which all start making unusual noises. Gwen savors the Freudian sight for a second. Then she has an inkling about what is going on.

GWEN: Are those guns electric?

GUNN: Sure are. Shoot out a beam that stuns the vamps.

GWEN: Something tells me I should sit out this tour of duty. Lord knows what could happen if I'm around when those things go off.

LINDSEY: Not a problem. I have a separate assignment for you.

Fred falsely assumes this is Lindsey's way of hinting that he wants to be alone with her for personal reasons. She's getting suspicious of the rich, gorgeous mystery man. He's hanging around all these exotic, sexy women. And he's not even a eunuch like Angel was. Gwen walks past the soldiers and back to the hotel's front door. She smiles as the guns go completely haywire – a cartoonish exaggeration her effect on the men. Lindsey wants Gwen to be on Angelus-watch. If he makes a move, she can track him down without Angelus spotting her.

Robin leaps down to the basement level. Buffy and Connor are quickly assailed by the demon's defenses. As they fight for their lives, most of the floor in the Principal's Office collapses. They can't get within ten feet of the monster on the first floor. A head comes at Buffy. She ducks, does a forward somersault, and gracefully lands in the basement. Connor leaps down, but his right ankle is caught by one of the demon's tentacles. He hangs upside down for a moment, then cuts himself free with his hatchet and flips his body right-side up in time to land on his feet. The four of them hack their way through the demon's defenses. Connor and Buffy get to the body first and begin cutting. Spike and Robin help finish the job. The severed part of the demon slithers outside before dying and slowly melting away. The Potentials arrive, breathless but exuberant. The destruction before them dampens their exuberance.

KENNEDY: What's going on? Where are they?

GILES: Inside. Somewhere. Buffy and Connor appear to be making great progress. [looks at his watch. It's a few minutes past 11.] But I fear we may be running out of time.

AMANDA: We killed Bringers.

VI: Without Buffy's help.

RONA: Sliced and diced.

MOLLY: 16 in all.

GILES: Sixteen? By yourselves? That's astounding!

MOLLY: Buffy's words exactly.

With the floor gone, the flood lights which illuminated the office now cast a hazy glow down on the basement below. After getting severed for the second time, the monster retreats to the bottom of the floor. Then it comes back up. Another mouth. More teeth. Connor and Buffy slice off the top two feet, taking off the mouth. All four of them can see another set of teeth ten feet below, opening and closing slowly.

SPIKE: From beneath you . . .

Spike jumps in the air and falls down into the demon's body. He is caught by the teeth. These teeth are much larger than the ones on the ancillary mouths which have previously bitten Spike. They are nearly two feet in length, and in some places go six inches into his flesh.

BUFFY: SPIKE!!! My God, what are you doing?

Spike grips his swords in his hands and bashes his fists into the teeth, breaking several of them off.

SPIKE: Can I get a push?

Robin jumps in. Buffy gasps in horror. She expects this sort of insanity from Spike. But Robin used to be rational. He still is. When Robin's body falls into Spike's, the force cracks enough of the demon's teeth to free Spike. They fall together, crashing through another set of teeth before landing on something firm. They are now 30 feet beneath the basement floor. The two of them stand up and try to assess the situation. A few feet above their heads, a double set of teeth close, blocking any upward escape. Tentacles grip their limbs and pull them out towards the inner side of the monster's skin.

SPIKE: Looks like the end. For one of us, anyway.

Spike smiles. Robin is aghast. Wood thinks Spike is happily predicting that he will die. Spike wasn't talking about the Principal. He was talking about the Hellbeast. Thirty feet up, Buffy and Connor are frantically fending off the monster's defenses and doing their best to cut off more of its main body. Buffy knows this thing has to come above ground. She hopes Spike and Robin will still be alive when the part that contains them comes up. Robin and Spike are pinned to the inner walls. Their entire bodies are wrapped in very strong "demon vines." Spike growls and bites the ones near his head. He pulls his neck loose. He has lost hold of his short sword, but grips the long sword in his left hand. His left elbow is against the wall and he fights to keep his left arm outward. After much effort, he pulls his left and right hands together. Both of them grip the four-foot sword, the tip of which grazes the "floor" of whatever compartment Robin and Spike are trapped in. Spike leans forward. Just a little more, and he can stab this thing. Finally, he gets his blade six inches inside. Then a foot. He pulls the blade inward towards his body, creating a foot-long slit. He falls through the opening, the force of his fall breaking him free from the demon's grip.

Spike lands in some sort of pool. Right away, he knows it is blood. The blood sloshes from side-to-side, and rises and falls. The depth of the pool oscillates between four and eight feet. Spike accidentally takes a gulp. He expects it to taste horrible. But it doesn't taste like yucky demon blood at all. It tastes as good as human blood. Spike gleefully and hungrily takes a few more gulps. He looks up. The walls contract and vibrate intermittently. He thinks he's inside some sort of heart. Taking his sword with both hands, Spike slashes at the sides. On the surface, the demon convulses violently and uncontrollably. The rope-like tentacles that bind Robin begin to loosen. He rips his arms free, then uses his hands to pull off the vines that were strangling his neck. He gasps for breath and notices that Spike has disappeared. Forty feet beneath the basement, Spike thrusts his sword downwards through whatever is below. He pushes it down to the hilt. Then he pulls it back up. At the end of the sword, he sees dirt. Spike raises his arms up in victory.

In the basement, the hydra stops moving. Its defenses pull back. The green ooze that is out on the lawn recedes. The demon's body turns to goo in front of Buffy and Connor. This viscous liquid rushes inwards and downwards. Robin hears the rumbling. The liquid crashes down on him. Then it crashes down on Spike as he looks up and yells triumphantly. Wood crashes down into Spike. Robin propels himself upwards. Buffy sees his head peak out through the surface, but an undertow pulls him back down before she can grab his arm. Spike bends his knees, raises his arms and pushes off against the ground below. He shoots up through the thick liquid. The cavity is only six feet in diameter, so Spike collides with Robin. Spike grabs hold of the back of Robin's shirt with his right arm. Using his own momentum, Spike tosses Robin up. Buffy sees his body leap out of the liquid. She is grateful but worried. He isn't breathing. Spike comes to the surface and pulls himself out. He looks at Wood, who is lying on his back. Spike raises his left boot and stomps on Robin's chest. Green goo spews out of his mouth, and then Robin starts coughing.

The hole has begun to close. The basement's concrete floor is returning. Spike takes off his goo-saturated shirt and tosses it in just before the hole disappears. Spike turns on a faucet, fills a bucket with water, and pours it over his head. This gets most of the hellbeast's guts off his skin. He walks over to Buffy. She's focusing on Robin, making sure he's all right. Connor gets a good look at Spike. There are large punctures all over his chest, back, arms and legs. Big holes ooze blood where the monster took a bite out of him. Connor takes careful note of the extent of Spike's injuries. Buffy turns to him. From her angle, the dim light that shines on Spike doesn't give her a good image of his injuries.

BUFFY: Spike! You're okay?

SPIKE: I'm still standing. That's a good night in my book.

Buffy goes back to paying attention to Robin, the one fighter without special powers. Spike walks over to the nearest set of stairs, singing:

SPIKE: "For you, for you, I came for you, but you did not need my urgency. For you, for you, I came for you, but your life was one long emergency."

Outside, cautious optimism prevailed.

ANYA: Did we win?

GILES: I think so. We should go in and see how they are.

Spike walks outside. The bright lights shine on his bare-chested, badly-bitten body. The Potentials are shaken by the sight of someone with so many gory wounds standing up and walking.

ANYA: Spike!?

SPIKE: I'm fine. So are the others. They're a lot less scraped than I am. And Giles. Sorry mate, but I lost your swords after I stabbed the slithery bugger through the heart.

GILES: Excuse me!? You did what, exactly?

Spike continues walking. He goes by the Potentials, who look nervously at him. Nothing like a serene, grievously injured, emotionally detached demon to give people the wiggins. And to top it all off, he is singing to himself:

SPIKE: "I've been raising up my hand to drive another nail in. Just what I need. One more victim."

The Potentials walk towards the school.

AMANDA: Guess this means we get Monday off.

XANDER: Shows how little you know about going to school on the Hellmouth. A near-apocalypse never results in a vacation day. I know, it sucks. For you. For me and my crew, it means double pay fixing all this up tomorrow. That's the great thing about working construction in Sunnydale. Something always needs rebuilding.

WOOD: Still on for brunch tomorrow?

BUFFY: Sure. Of course. I mean, if you are.

WOOD: You think I'd miss our date because of a little thing like being swallowed by a giant demon? The day after getting knocked out by another giant demon? It's been a very busy weekend.

Wood holds up his arms. Buffy grabs the left. Connor the right. They pull him up to his feet.

CONNOR: Weekend's not over yet.

[And that can only mean one thing. Tomorrow, Angelus comes back to Sunnydale.]


	13. Angelus and Spike Get Set Up

Willow and Kennedy enter Willow's bedroom.

WILLOW: How do you feel after your first apocalypse?

KENNEDY: Relieved. Grateful. When your life's in danger, you think about what you'll miss if you die. The people you'll never see again. The things you'll never do again. Reminded me what I was fighting for.

Kennedy kisses Willow. A little while later, Kennedy notices something's not right. She pulls back. Willow can see the surprise in Kennedy's face.

WILLOW: What's wrong?

KENNEDY: You're — you're different.

WILLOW: [feels face] Oh no. Not again.

KENNEDY: It's not him. You're not a guy.

Willow looks in the mirror.

WILLOW: Omigod. Omigod. Oh no.

KENNEDY: Who is it? I mean, who are you? On the outside.

WILLOW: Miss Calendar.

KENNEDY: Who's that?

WILLOW: Jenny Calendar. My high school computer science teacher. Why? Why her?

KENNEDY: Was she your first crush?

WILLOW: No! God no! Although, looking at myself —

KENNEDY: You're beginning to wonder why she wasn't?

WILLOW: No!! I'm beginning to figure out why I'm her. Sort of. She was the one who got me interested in magic.

KENNEDY: We know how to make this go away.

Kennedy kisses Willow. Willow pushes her away.

WILLOW: What if that doesn't work?

KENNEDY: Then I'll just have to learn to live with the new you.

Kennedy smiles and kisses Willow again. Willow begins the question Kennedy's motives.

WILLOW: You don't seem too upset about that happening. [she leaves]

KENNEDY: Willow, wait! Please. Come back! I know it's still you inside, and you're the one I love. You have no reason to be jealous.

Willow runs down the stairs. Kennedy follows. Giles sees her in the living room and nearly has a stroke. He screams and backs up.

GILES: You're the First. Get away from me. You're not real.

WILLOW: Giles, it's me, Willow.

KENNEDY: I kissed her, and she —

XANDER: Again!?

GILES: She's turned Jenny before?

ANYA: She turned into Warren. Willow, you either have to stop kissing Kennedy, stop subconsciously doing this to yourself, or, failing that, maybe next time you can ask your subconscious turn to you into Lorenzo Lamas.

ANDREW: That would be cool.

Xander touches Willow's shoulder to make sure she's corporeal. Giles is about to, but Willow slaps his hand.

WILLOW: Don't! That would just be WAY to weird.

Giles moves back.

GILES: As if this wasn't weird enough already.

ANYA: So this is what Jenny looked like. Giles, I'm impressed.

ANDREW: No one taught recursive functions like Miss Calendar. Why would Willow turn into a person who dated Giles?

XANDER: You said that you once had a huge crush on him.

KENNEDY: You never told me this. Ewww. That's kinda gross. He's old enough to be —

ANYA: Spike's grandson? No, great-grandson.

KENNEDY: Well, when you put it that way, no, it doesn't help. It just makes whatever Spike and Buffy did seem that much sicker.

ANYA: That's it! Willow had a crush on Giles. So she turns into the woman Giles loved. A manifestation of her repressed feelings for Giles.

ANDREW: Willow kisses Giles and goes back to normal.

ANYA: It would be horribly awkward, but only for a few seconds.

GILES: There has to be another way. Because I'm not doing that. [goes into the kitchen for some Scotch.]

XANDER: You could kiss me. [Willow slaps him.] Well, it couldn't hurt.

WILLOW: You people are no help at all.

Willow runs out the front door. Kennedy chases after her.

KENNEDY: Willow! Willow! Come back! Willow? Willow?

Willow opens her eyes. She's in bed.

KENNEDY: Willow? Willow, are you okay?

WILLOW: [checks hair. It's still red] Whew. Just a nightmare.

KENNEDY: Say, as long as we're both up . . .

Willow smiles and forgets all about the disturbing dream.

Gwen is at home. She calls Lindsey.

LINDSEY: So what was our boy up to?

GWEN: Fancy party in Beverly Hills. Lots of star power. And security.

LINDSEY: Does that mean you couldn't get in?

GWEN: Angelus snuck in, so of course I could. He wasn't making too much of a scene. Maybe he just went to star gaze and snack discreetly. Went straight home after.

LINDSEY: A-list of B-list?

GWEN: What? Oh, the celebrities. Pretty high wattage.

LINDSEY: Let's just hope he didn't kill anyone with talent.

GWEN: I didn't see any of that.

LINDSEY: He'll probably rest for a while. Or debauch, or whatever it is his kind does. We should do the same. Rest, I mean. Talk to you later.

Lindsey goes down to greet the teams as they return.

FAITH: Wicked shame you have to leave so soon.

TAYLOR: You're telling me. You were awesome. Absolutely amazing out there.

FAITH: Thanks for covering me. [she means in the tactical military sense]

TAYLOR: Anytime.

CHET: [to Taylor] You got that right.

LINDSEY: I knew she'd be good for morale.

LORNE: That's the least of it. The things she did. Such power, such charisma. I can see why Angel had a thing for her.

LINDSEY: That was a different Slayer.

LORNE: Right. Of course. I knew that. What I meant was I understand why he had a thing for a Slayer. Now that I've seen one in action.

WES: Any word on Angelus?

LINDSEY: He's at home. Ya'al should come upstairs. I got something for you.

GUNN: Where's Fred. Oh, there she is. Gettin' friendly with the soldiers. [Charles and Wes look worried]

WES: Fred? Winifred? Could you join us? [she comes over]

FRED: Sorry. I was just discussing the quantum properties of their guns.

GUNN: Yeah. I'm sure they were interested in your physics.

WES: Men in uniform always get that excited over Plank's Constant and the Photoelectric Effect.

Fred thinks they're both being paranoid and hypocritical. They all go upstairs.

FAITH: What now? We chill?

WES: After you've rested we can do a little patrolling.

LINDSEY: If Angelus makes a move, you'll be the first to know.

FAITH: Cool. I'm gonna go run up a huge room service bill, if ya don't mind. Slaying always makes me really hungry and, well, just hungry for now. [she leaves]

WES: You said you had something for us?

Lindsey hands each of them an envelope.

LINDSEY: I billed each of you at 500-an-hour. Is that your usual rate?

Wes, Gunn, Fred and Lorne open their envelopes.

FRED: Six thousand dollars!

LORNE: This check should get the bill collectors off my back.

GUNN: I thought you said you were working for free?

LINDSEY: I am. And the company is. Doesn't mean I expect people to risk their lives for nothing. [clearly he's not a champion] The soldiers each got 200-an-hour. As commanders, you were entitled to more. There was no guarantee of payment. I did this on spec. Once you guys got going and showed what you could do, I was able to convince some local business to make donations. Entirely voluntary, I assure you. But what they paid was a small fraction of what they gained from your efforts to make the city safe again.

WES: They paid you protection money?

LINDSEY: No. We were protecting them regardless of whether they gave us money.

WES: And if they didn't? Did you threaten to make things go back to the way they were?

GUNN: We get paid for killing demons. That's our job. I don't see the problem. I just see a lot more zeros that I have in a while. As long as there ain't no strings attached, I'm down with this.

FRED: I'm with Charles. [Wes doesn't like the sound of that]

Cordy enters the Hyperion. Alanna and Tina kneel before her. Cordy puts out her hands and they each kiss a ring. Olivia is seen tumbling down the stairs to the landing. Angelus walks after her.

ANGELUS: I told you to bring me a virgin! [he slaps her]

OLIVIA: She was 14.

ANGELUS: She had needle marks on her arms. That should have tipped you off. Why can't you be like Val? [Angelus turns around. Val is behind him. She's tall, with long black hair and pale blue eyes. He kisses her wrist.] Wonderful Vala. (Germanic for "chosen one") My new favorite.

He picks up Olivia by the hair and tosses her down the last few stairs. She lands in the lobby. Angelus walks down with Val on his arm.

ANGELUS: Cordelia. What brings you here?

CORDY: Certainly not the company. Vampires are sooo unworthy of my presence. Except for you, Angelus. Then again, you are much, much more than a vampire.

Val also looks at Cordy and kneels. (she blotted out the sun. She brought back Angelus. To them, she's a quasi-deity. Buffy did say that Glory reminded her of Cordelia.) Tina, Alanna and Val all sit down at the circular sofa. Angelus walks past them. He is wearing shiny new black leather pants, a black shirt which is unbuttoned, a rolex, and a large diamond and platinum neck chain. Cordy looks dismayed.

CORDY: First of all, lose the bling-bling.

ANGELUS: The what?

CORDY: The necklace. The watch. Why are you trying to look like P Diddy?

ANGELUS: Who's that? A new vampire in town? [Cordy groans]

CORDY: Poor Angelus. Still trapped in the 90s. The 1890s. [he hands over the jewelry] Thank you. I'll use these to buy you something nice. What were you thinking?

ANGELUS: Trophies I took off a kill last night. Walking into this party, I push him aside, and he gives me lip. Tells me I'm not paying him respect. Has two huge bodyguards with big guns. I snap their necks. Then I snap his. And he's carrying a money clip with $10,000 inside. [pulls out money clip. Tosses it to his vampire women.] What kind of fool walks around with that much cash?

CORDY: Did he have a big cross around his neck?

ANGELUS: I think I would have noticed that.

CORDY: So it probably wasn't P Diddy. Like I'd care about him anyway. So last millennium. Did he have a band-aid on his face?

ANGELUS: No. Why?

CORDY: Phew. I actually would miss Nelly.

ANGELUS: That wasn't the fun part.

CORDY: What was?

ANGELUS: I go inside, and I see this Irish guy who says he's an actor. A little shorter than me. Hair like me. Dresses like me. Acts like me. Got a girl on each arm. I take one of them for myself. A model or something. The guy gets mad. Threatens to kick my ass. You can imagine what happens next.

CORDY: Dark, Irish. Actor. Good-looking?

ANGELUS: Not as handsome as I am. Then again, who is?

CORDY: Good point.

ANGELUS: I threw a few insults out, made him attack me, and then I cracked his skull.

CORDY: Omigod! You killed Colin Farrell!?

ANGELUS: Who? No. The guy was breathing. Just a little unconscious. Had to teach him a lesson. But that was just the beginning. The other girl he was with, this young blonde with a nasally southern accent. She starts totally hitting on me. She was all over me, actually. Kinda tipsy. And very grabby.

CORDY: Oh, you're right, this is getting good. You didn't recognize her?

ANGELUS: No. She seemed surprised that I didn't. Which might have turned her on even more. I don't know. The accent was a turn-off. One of my pet-peeves. But I can't get rid of her. Practically have to kill her to get her off me.

CORDY: [smiling] Did you?

ANGELUS: No.

CORDY: Dammit.

ANGELUS: She went away and started sucking face with this blonde guy who looked like, well, like Spike's younger brother or something. And he talked like he was from the ghetto. Total loser. Guess they deserved each other.

CORDY: You didn't kill either of them?

ANGELUS: No. I went off with the model. I had my fun with her and killed her. So these people I ran into. They're famous?

CORDY: Yes. Very.

ANGELUS: Actors?

CORDY: Pop singers.

ANGELUS: Oh well. So what did you come here to tell me?

CORDY: I had a vision. Of Connor getting beat up by Buffy.

ANGELUS: Connor's gone there!!?

CORDY: Following in his daddy's footsteps. In more ways than one.

ANGELUS: Very funny. When?

CORDY: Tonight. 9:32. In Griffith Park.

ANGELUS: Connor and Buffy and me. Think of the possibilities.

CORDY: Here's my favorite: you come home and hand me Buffy's head on a platter. Do whatever you want with the rest of her.

ANGELUS: Why was she beating him up?

CORDY: I don't know. But the vision told me this: She doesn't know who Connor is. And he is not aware of the fact that Buffy knows you.

ANGELUS: She doesn't know he's mine. And he doesn't know she's mine. This will be fun.

CORDY: What do you say?

ANGELUS: Oh, right. Thank you master. You have visions. I kill things. This is just like old times. So much to do. What time is sunset? I've forgotten.

CORDY: 7:02.

ANGELUS: Which gives me plenty of time to play.

CORDY: Ladies. The money. [holds out her hand. They scowl, but Val tosses it to her] Thank you. Now I can spend it all on my darling boy. See you again in a few hours, killer.

ANGELUS: Could you do something for me?

CORDY: Depends.

ANGELUS: Get the ax.

CORDY: [smiles] I like where this is going.

ANGELUS: Olivia, get over here, front and center. On your knees. [she obeys and looks up at him. He caresses her hair and face. She smiles.] You were always very good on your knees. But not so skilled on your feet. I'm sorry. You just didn't work out.

Olivia looks devastated. Cordy stands behind her. She smiles and swings the ax, beheading Olivia.

CORDY: Glad I could help.

She puts the ax back and leaves. Angelus turns and looks at his three remaining consorts, who stand up.

ANGELUS: You never can tell. Most can't make the transition. A guy's lucky to sire a single good one. Imagine how lucky I was to sire you three. It's 11 am. I've got time to kill.

Val kisses him on the lips. Tina nibbles on his left ear. Alanna, a redhead with a dancer's body who's wearing a light blue dress with black stockings, wraps her legs around Angelus's waist and bends back while still holding on.

ANGELUS: You're right. I should spend some time at home.

A little after 10 in the morning, Connor walks into Spike's crypt. As he goes by Spike's bed, Spike reaches up with his left hand and grabs Connor's right arm. Spike opens his eyes.

SPIKE: Not as sneaky as usual.

CONNOR: Wasn't trying.

SPIKE: What do you want? I was trying to sleep.

Connor holds up a bag.

CONNOR: Brought breakfast. A quart.

SPIKE: Yours? [Spike smiles. Connor looks scared] Kidding.

CONNOR: Pig's blood.

SPIKE: Why so friendly?

CONNOR: Thought you could use it after last night.

SPIKE: That was oddly thoughtful of you.

Spike gets out of bed. He's wearing boxers but nothing else. He puts some clothes on, takes the blood and is about to drink it. Then he has his doubts.

SPIKE: Are you trying to poison me?

CONNOR: You can poison a vampire? (something to consider for daddy) You were very brave last night. Went into the belly of the beast. Something even I haven't tried.

SPIKE: Well, you're young. Give it time.

CONNOR: Last night. Fighting the Turam. I did what you taught me. Anticipating. It helped.

SPIKE: That's nice. [finishes drinking the blood] Thanks for the snack. Can we do this later, after I get some more shut eye?

CONNOR: Cool. Later. [leaves]

SPIKE: Does he think I'm his bleeding Watcher?

Connor runs over to Wood's house, a nice three-story Queen Anne Victorian. He's cooking.

WOOD: These are for Buffy and me. Don't touch. I've heard how voracious you can be.

CONNOR: I just saw Spike. He's still hurting. This is the time. Are you ready?

WOOD: Been ready my whole life.

CONNOR: I can do more.

WOOD: This is my fight. But you'll be doing plenty.

CONNOR: He's nice. As vampires go. And funny. But it's just a mask. He'll go evil again, show his true face. I'm sure of that.

Obviously he's transferring. Except for the funny part. Angel wasn't a joker.

WOOD: You know why I have to do it alone.

CONNOR: He killed your mother. She was a Slayer. Like Buffy.

WOOD: You probably would have liked her a lot more than you like Buffy. [Connor laughs]

CONNOR: Than why does Buffy protect him?

WOOD: Because she's scared.

CONNOR: Of Spike?

WOOD: Of the First. She wants all the fighters she can get. No matter the risk.

CONNOR: Spike can be replaced.

It's a little after 2 pm. Buffy has finished brunch with Robin. She is walking through the graveyard with Giles.

GILES: I've seen what the Potentials did to those Bringers, and I understand your concern. But I don't share your fears.

BUFFY: You're happy with what the girls did?

GILES: No. But I understand their actions. They've been terrorized. They acted, and overreacted, out of fear. When you are afraid for you life, and you've got the enemy down, you make sure he stays down. Those young women aren't Slayers. Not yet. Compared to you they're powerless. And that is how the powerless react when they band together to defend themselves against a mortal threat.

BUFFY: Disemboweling is nothing to worry about?

GILES: It's not bloodlust. Not in the way we've seen it in Faith and Willow and, so far as I can tell, in Connor.

BUFFY: So you're worried about him?

GILES: Are you?

BUFFY: Less than before last night. He seems to respect me now.

GILES: Because he learned the limits of his power. He fought something he could not defeat alone. He had to rely on you to survive. I dare say he was chastened by the whole experience.

BUFFY: He did learn to follow orders. But the amount of pounding he took was disturbing. He's unbreakable. Compared to him, even I'm fragile.

GILES: Connor is stronger than you?

BUFFY: No! He's just better at taking abuse. He's also not as good at avoiding abuse. Like he's missing that part of his brain which tells us pain is bad.

They enter Spike's crypt. Spike is sitting in a chair, smoking, listening to Elvis Costello's "The Imposter:"

"This is your big decision.

Hope you're not disappointed.

He's got double vision

when you want him double jointed

and he's not the man you'd think that he can be.

He'll only bring you souvenirs.

It's only gonna end in tears.

And he is only the imposter."

Spikes notices his visitors. Buffy holds out a large cup.

BUFFY: I brought blood. Thought you could use it.

SPIKE: I seem to be very popular today.

Buffy walks up to Spike, puts her hand to his face.

BUFFY: How are you? Are you hurt bad?

He pulls up his shirt to show the puncture wounds. She looks concerned and puts her fingers to a few of them. He pulls down his shirt.

SPIKE: They'll heal. What doesn't kill me —

GILES: Only makes you stronger?

SPIKE: No. [laughs] Is nothing for you sad sacks to worry about. I'm fine.

BUFFY: Why are you doing this?

SPIKE: Doing what?

GILES: Let me suggest that you do this when I'm gone and don't have to listen to it. Spike, can you tell us what happened last night?

SPIKE: Told you already. Stabbed it in the heart.

GILES: Could you elaborate, since that explanation is, well, hard to reconcile with everything I've read about this creature.

SPIKE: I go to the bottom, below all the sets of teeth, and there's a floor. I cut through the floor and fall into the heart. Very large. Pumps blood. Good-tasting blood, I might add. Not demon blood. I stab through the bottom of the heart, I hit dirt. The demon dies. End of story. You kill it by getting beneath it.

GILES: Then why do the sources all say you kill it by beheading it?

SPIKE: Simple. The bloke who killed it didn't live to tell the tale. Buffy saw how fast the ground closed up. Guy on the inside doesn't make it out, people on the surface assume they killed it.

GILES: Interesting. Since below the monster is the actual Hellmouth. So by stabbing below the monster before it had risen, you literally stabbed the Hellmouth itself during the critical period. I suppose that makes sense.

SPIKE: Have you talked to Robin? Pretty sure he understood.

GILES: Yes, I did. He explained that he was trying to get to the bottom, although he wasn't able to see precisely what you did at the end.

SPIKE: We were making it up as we went along. Shared intuition, I suppose.

GILES: And since you two were the ones who fought the hellbeast the longest, it's natural that you would have the best understanding of what needed to be done. Thank you, anyway. I'll go now. [heads outside]

SPIKE: You were saying?

BUFFY: What is your problem?

SPIKE: What am I to you?

BUFFY: Don't do this now.

SPIKE: I was trying not to, but you keep forcing the situation. Thought maybe giving you some space would help. But it's just made you worse. Do you even know why you want me around?

BUFFY: I care about you, Spike.

SPIKE: I know. I'm your great project of reform and you've grown accustomed to my face.

Buffy misses the Pygmalion/My Fair Lady allusion.

BUFFY: I love you.

Spike pauses for a few seconds.

SPIKE: But not the way I love you.

BUFFY: God!! It's just never enough with you! You always have to make everything difficult.

SPIKE: I'm trying to make it easy. We do it your way, we're both going to be disappointed. These things are all or nothing. Besides, I'll be dead before too long. Best if we don't get too attached.

Buffy looks concerned.

BUFFY: Spike, is there something you know that you're not telling me?

SPIKE: Just intuition. Like last night. When you make a deal with a demon, there's always a catch. I think I know what it was. By giving me a soul, he was killing me. He was making me care enough to die for you. This time, things will turn out right. I'll die and you'll live.

BUFFY: And you base this on what — your big imaginary hero fantasy?

SPIKE: You think I want this? I made a choice, and I've accepted the consequences. Always knew you'd be the death of me. Who woulda thought I'd go fighting for you?

BUFFY: Since when did a soul come with a death wish?

SPIKE: You expected a happy ending?

She remembers this is what he said in her dream the other night right before he killed her. Buffy looks very upset and leaves. Part of her thinks Spike is playing mind games and trying to make her feel guilty for not paying more attention to her. Part of her fears he may be right.

GILES: How is he?

BUFFY: Martyr complex.

GILES: Figures.

BUFFY: Have you researched that demon who gave him his soul?

GILES: No. Why? You think there's a curse? A loophole?

BUFFY: A catch. Something. This demon had to have a reason.

GILES: You fear Spike might be a danger to us?

BUFFY: No. It's not that. I just want to know why he gave it to him.

Lindsey walks into the room where Gunn, Wes and Fred are.

LINDSEY: I've got something for you. Someone.

A women enters. Late-20s. Blonde. Good-looking.

LINDSEY: This is Kelly.

KELLY: I'm the bait.

LINDSEY: For Angelus. Kelly's a pro, so she can handle herself.

Wesley smiles and chuckles as he looks at her.

WESLEY: Hats off. You've really done your homework on this one.

FRED: So Angelus goes out, we find him and send Kelly to meet him.

GUNN: He tries to kill her. She runs away. Angelus chases, and runs right into our trap.

LINDSEY: Couldn't have said it better myself.

KELLY: I'm gonna go grab a bite. Beep me if anything happens. [she leaves]

FRED: Angel likes blondes? I know about Darla, but what about Cordy? Where does she fit in?

WES: That's always been a very vexing question. I'm sure he'll bite, although Kelly is about 10 years too old.

LINDSEY: I couldn't find an 18 year-old who could do the job without getting killed.

WES: Of course. But is that all? We ambush him, then what?

GUNN: We pound him.

WES: Angelus is crafty. He would escape. The basic plan is sound, but we need to work on the execution. Angelus has to be kept in the dark until he is too weakened to elude us. We must think on his tactical level. He won't expect us to try and outsmart him. Hubris is his cardinal weakness. We have to ask ourselves, what would Napoleon do? That's it!

An hour after Buffy left, Connor returned to Spike's crypt. Spike was watching "The Great Escape" on the tele with the sound off and listening to Patti Smith's "Gloria:"

"Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine.

Meltin' in a pot of thieves.

Wild card up my sleeve.

Thick heart of stone,

my sins my own,

they belong to me, me."

SPIKE: You again. What now? You want to train?

CONNOR: No. Just talk. [sits down in a chair]

SPIKE: Didn't know you were capable of just talking.

CONNOR: Why do you joke?

SPIKE: Instead of what? Brooding? [smiles slyly. Connor thinks Spike's on to him.] Laugh lines look better than worry lines.

CONNOR: Don't you feel guilty?

SPIKE: That's why I laugh. Humor comes from pain. Part of the human condition.

CONNOR: You're not human.

SPIKE: Doesn't mean I can't try. I'm obviously trying a lot harder than you.

CONNOR: [nervously] I'm not a demon.

SPIKE: Which means it should be easier for you.

Connor walks over to Spike's shelf and puts a book back.

CONNOR: I finished it.

SPIKE: Nietzsche? What did you think of him?

CONNOR: He says it's all about power. That's what the Devil wants you to think.

SPIKE You think Nietzsche's evil?

CONNOR: He's been tricked into believing a lie.

Like Connor in the past. But Connor isn't yet that self-aware.

SPIKE: No, he says everyone else has been tricked into believing good and evil exist. He's saying that the strong have always dominated the weak, and once we accept that we'll be better off.

CONNOR: He says the strong are different, that they don't have to live by the same rules everyone else does.

SPIKE: Because they can get away with it. Doesn't mean they should. Everyone who reads him sees what they want. That's why the bloke's so bloody popular.

CONNOR: What does he mean by Supermen? Is that like me? Or vampires? Or demons?

SPIKE: You think you're the Uber-mensch? That's funny. No. It's frightening, actually. Considering you are, well . . . [Spike takes a big gulp of blood and then a bigger gulp of vodka] He's being metaphorical. Greek Gods and all that. Like Yeats and his "Second Coming." "Things fall apart, the center cannot hold . . . slouching towards Bethlehem." Everyone reads it wrong. Miracle child born in the year 2000. People think it's the end of the world, but it's a new beginning. Mystic pagan stuff. You'd be amazed by the loopy things smart people believed back then. Fairies and ghost flowers and the like. Too many rich people with too much time on their hands. You weren't born in the year 2000, were you?

Spike laughs. Connor feels very, very nervous.

CONNOR: No. Who was the miracle child supposed to be?

SPIKE: The Anti-Christ. [good thing Connor's sitting down, or else he would have fainted] But Yeats and Nietzsche were not very pro-Christ. They hated him. Thought he made humans too touchy-feely and took away their animal instincts. So in their minds the Anti-Christ was a hero. Like Oedipus. [Connor needs air] Yeats also said Oedipus was the Anti-Christ, but in a good way. But Yeats was a stupid git. All great poets are idiots when it comes to real life (Spike finds some good spin for his lousy poetry). Same with philosophers. You can't take em seriously. [Connor starts to breathe again]

SPIKE: You look a little flush. Want something to drink?

CONNOR: Why would I want blood? [still more identity issues.]

SPIKE: Or this. Some grape soda Clem left behind. [pulls the can out of the fridge, tosses it to Connor. He opens it and drinks. It's sweet. He likes that.] Cheers.

Spike downs some wine. Connor looks confused. He was supposed to make Spike nervous, not the other way around.

CONNOR: What's different? After getting the soul. How do you feel different than before?

SPIKE: Well. There's the guilt. But you could have guessed that. Waves of tsunamis of memories of the lives you've destroyed.

CONNOR: Like the Slayers? Dawn told me you killed two.

SPIKE: Not them. [Connor's back to hating Spike] That's battle. No guilt in battle. We're each trying to kill the other. It's fair. And if it wasn't me, woulda been some other vamp. Not like I robbed them of a long life. But everyone else, I feel them inside. With them, it was murder. Their deaths make me feel like I don't deserve to live.

Connor thinks it's almost like Spike is asking to be killed.

CONNOR: Why don't you kill yourself?

SPIKE: Suicide's the one mortal sin you can't be forgiven for. [puts Holtz in a bad light] It's cowardice. You believe in God, Connor?

CONNOR: Of course.

SPIKE: God gives you a soul to use it. You kill yourself, it's like spitting in the Almighty's face. So I use it. Don't see any other option. [smiles and chuckles to himself] No, there is another option. I could feel sorry for myself and do nothing to help anyone for, I don't know, a century. But that's just selfish and lazy and contemptuous. Like wanking in your Savior's eye.

Connor doesn't know about Angel's long period of inactivity. When he does, Spike's imagery will be most disturbing.

CONNOR: Sounds like a coward.

Connor knows no one like that. Angel was a Champion. Spike smiles. He doesn't know he's just attempted to discredit the two most important men in Connor's life.

SPIKE: It does. But let me try to give you some insight. [Goes over to his cd's. Pulls out the Sex Pistol's "Never Mind the Bollocks" and the Clash's "London Calling." Tosses them to Connor.] Before I had a soul, I liked the Pistols a lot better. Now that I've got one, I'm starting to prefer the Clash. Listen to them. You'll understand. And you'll also hear some pretty great music, something I gather you're not too familiar with. Do you even have a player?

CONNOR: For these? Yeah.

SPIKE: Then I bet you also have a tele.

CONNOR: Huh?

SPIKE: Television.

CONNOR: Yeah.

SPIKE: And cable.

CONNOR: What's that?

SPIKE: Sounds like you still have a few things to learn about scavenging.

CONNOR: I know my place is better than your place. [he leaves]

GUNN: You know somethin'. That ain't half bad.

WES: Not half bad? It's brilliant!

FRED: It's clever. But Wes, let's not go overboard.

LINDSEY: I like it. I knew you guys would fine-tune the plan.

Kelly walks into Faith's room. Faith looks suspiciously at the new face.

KELLY: So you're the Slayer. Wow. What an honor. I'm Kelly. I'm a demon fighter. Not like you, of course.

Faith looks her over.

FAITH: Are you the bait?

KELLY: Yep.

FAITH: Trust me. With you, he'll bite. I mean, he'll fall for it. You're his type.

KELLY: That's what everyone keeps saying. So he has a blonde fetish?

FAITH: Oh yeah. More of an obsession. I like your style, Kelly. Used to play the victim myself when I was hunting. Make the vampires come to me. Wait till they're about to bite, then take em out. Easier than runnin' em down. And way more fun. The look in their eyes when they realize they've been had.

Cordy walks into the Hyperion at 5 pm. The place is crowded with vampires and their prospective victims. She looks at the vamps like they are vermin. As she saunters through the lobby, they all get out of her way, creating a ten-foot wide alley for her to walk down. She goes to the elevator and looks inside. Seven vampires run out. She gives them a disdainful half-smile and gets in the elevator alone, pushing the button for the fifth floor.

Angelus is in his room doing things with Alanna, Val and Tina that might make Caligula blush. There are a couple drained corpses chained to the wall, remnants of earlier exertions. In his head he hears Cordy yell "I'M COMING!!!" He gets up off the bed, grabs his pants, puts one leg in, and goes out the door, trying to get his other leg in. Cordy walks up to him. She does not look amused.

CORDY: Is this how we prepare for our big night?

She looks into the room and glares at Alanna, Val and Tina, who of course are all still naked. They grab their clothes and run out into the hallway. Angelus goes back into his room. Cordy follows him inside, ready to scold. She closes the door. Angelus takes his pants off.

ANGELUS: These aren't the ones I'm gonna wear.

Cordy looks over naked Angelus.

CORDY: Trying to make me forget how mad I am at you?

ANGELUS: Is it working?

Gives her his trademark smirk. Cordy smiles, something she hasn't done much of lately.

CORDY: Of course! I mean, this is me you're talking to. But get dressed. I have a surprise for you.

ANGELUS: Something you can't give me while I'm naked? [she slaps him]

CORDY: You're walking on thin ice, mister. Just be sure not to drive on it.

Holds up car keys. Angelus can see from red horse on the key chain that it's for a Mustang. He gets very excited.

ANGELUS: The new Mustang?

CORDY: Way better.

He runs outside and sees it at the curb. He's a happy puppy.

CORDY: Mint condition, red, 1965 convertible. Darkly-tinted windows, so the sun won't be a problem. Aren't I the best? You know how to repay me.

Where do you think blondie's head will look best? On my bureau, or my nighstand?

ANGELUS: I'd put it on the dinner table. Makes an eye-catching centerpiece.

CORDY: You always know what a girl wants, even when she doesn't. [runs her right hand along his face, and her left hand down his chest] Make me proud.

Cordy puts the keys in Angelus's pocket and leaves. Angelus gets in the car and starts up his new toy.

Kelly's beeper starts beeping.

KELLY: It's time.

Kelly and Faith go into the main room, where Lindsey, Gunn, Fred and Wes already are.

GUNN: He's got wheels. No vamp can run that fast.

LINDSEY: Heading due west on I-10. Stays on the loop at downtown. Continuing west on the highway. Doesn't make sense.

WES: Angelus would take the local roads.

FRED: If he was hunting.

LINDSEY: He's leaving the city limits.

Lorne shows up.

WES: How far out does the darkness extend?

FRED: All of the county, at least.

GUNN: Ain't in the suburbs. Orange County hasn't had any problems.

LORNE: And people are still sunbathing in Ventura.

A few minutes later, they lose Angeles.

WES: What happened?

GUNN: Did he ditch the bug?

LINDSEY: It only works within a 30 kilometer radius. He's out of range.

FRED: Why would Angeles leave LA? Why would he go where it's sunny?

WES: Maybe he's bored. 

LINDSEY: What's west of here? Nothing. San Benardino. The Mojave Desert.

GUNN: Vegas!

FRED: Ya think he's goin' back?

FAITH: Sin City? Everyone stays indoors. No one asks questions. If I were evil —

LORNE: For Angelus Vegas would be like Disneyland.

KELLY: This mean he's no longer our problem?

LINDSEY: For the time being. You'll get beeped when he's back within range. In the meantime —

WES: We exploit his absence.

Gwen shows up.

GWEN: Did I miss anything? And who's the new girl?

GUNN: Angelus skipped town.

GWEN: Bummer. No, wait. Good.

LINDSEY: While he's gone, I'd like to get a sense of what's happening at the hotel. How many vampires are there. How much of a threat they pose. Anyone available for some breaking and entering?

GWEN: I read ya, chief.

LORNE: I should also go. Not because I'm good at this sorta thing, but because I can't be hurt in there. The barrier against demon violence.

LINDSEY: That okay, Gwen?

GWEN: Sure. I'll use the Chiquita banana as a decoy.

WES: I can take Faith out patrolling.

KELLY: Can I come? [Wes smiles. Kelly's cute.] I can hold my own and I'd like to see a Slayer in action.

FAITH: Me. And Wes. And a blonde tagging along. Just like old times.

GUNN: I can check out some of my contacts. See what they know.

FRED: I'll go with Charles. See if I can find any texts on what the Master's big plans might be.

LINDSEY: This is why I love working with talent. If the people and Wolfram & Hart were half as good as you guys, you would all have been dead a long time ago. [Wes, Gunn and Fred don't get the joke. Faith kind of gets it.]

When Angelus gets to I-210 in Pomona, he quickly turns south. This is to make sure no one's tailing him. He takes 60, 57, 91 and 55 south and west to Santa Ana, where he hops on I-5 and goes south on that that highway until he hits Sunnydale. He's going about 120 most of the way, so he arrives an hour before sunset. He takes a scenic detour east on 78 through the desert and arrives back in town a few minutes before it's time. He pays a visit to his old home. He stands in the great hall and starts sniffing around. Then a big smile comes across his face.

ANGELUS: Thanks for keeping my house warm, sonny boy. Daddy's got quite a surprise for you.

By then, Connor had left an hour ago for Wood's house. They are in the basement, training.

CONNOR: He'll expect you to lead. He likes to counter-attack.

WOOD: He won't expect anything.

CONNOR: So you just rely on surprise?

WOOD: And skill. And desire. I want him dead. I'll find a way.

CONNOR: Don't attack while he's down. He likes that. Let him get up.

WOOD: Always planned to stake him on his feet. Don't interfere.

CONNOR: I know. Keep Buffy busy.

WOOD: It's for her own good.

CONNOR: [scornfully] I'm the diversion.

WOOD: You're the one who makes it possible. Without you, Buffy stops me, I never get another chance.

CONNOR: I'll make sure nothing stops you.


	14. Angelus in Sunnydale, Act One

Angelus rolls down his windows and puts the top down. He cruises slowly through the streets. On the radio is Train's "Calling all you Angels." (Angelus has a sense of humor) To him, Sunnydale is an embarrassment of riches. He doesn't know where to start. And he's working against the clock. Then he finds himself driving past a playground. His old whimsy returns. He parks and gets out. A six year-old girl is on the swings. Her mother is behind her, pushing her until she's high enough to push herself. She leaps off the swing and lands on her feet. She looks up and sees Angelus. He's holding a flower. She looks behind the swings.

ANGELUS: What's your name?

MARIGOLD: Marigold.

ANGELUS: That's a very pretty name.

MARIGOLD: Where's my mommy?

ANGELUS: She's nearby. Want me to take you to her?

MARIGOLD: Okay.

Angelus reaches down. Marigold reaches up and grabs onto his hand.

When the sun set, Spike made his way over to Buffy's house.

SPIKE: What's on tap for tonight?

GILES: It's a day of rest.

WILLOW: Don't you remember? We take the day after an apocalypse off.

SPIKE: Does evil take the night off?

BUFFY: Spike, you need to rest. You were mauled last night.

SPIKE: Right. My battle scars. [pulls up his shirt. Shows Anya.]

ANYA: Holy moly! You like you've been –

SPIKE: Eaten? I was.

Those who don't know the story look kind of shocked.

AMANDA: Can I see? [looks a little excited]

Buffy is not pleased with a Potential viewing Spike as a sexual object. Only she (and sometimes Anya) gets to do that.

He shows the Potentials. Spike always likes attention.

WILLOW: Were all of you eaten?

BUFFY: Wood was swallowed. But he didn't get bit.

MOLLY: Not bad. [Kennedy looks at her funny] I mean the wounds.

RONA: [whispers to Molly] And the abs ain't that bad either. [Rona, Molly, Vi and Amanda giggle.]

Angelus walks through the pedestrian mall where Spike went looking for girls when he was under the control of the First. He goes over to the dance club where Buffy asked the bouncer if he had seen Spike, and the bouncer mentioned a "Billy Idol look-alike." About a dozen people wait outside the door. The bouncer waves Angelus right in. He is wearing black leather pants, a white tank top, and a short black leather coat. It's happy hour. The after- work crowd is there. Lots of people drink, but no one's dancing. The jukebox plays Graham Parker's "Passion is no Ordinary Word:"

"Say, how's it feel? Real useless, ain't it?

Wait until it bites right down inside you.

The world is easy when you're just playing around with it.

Everything's a thrill, and every girl's a kill.

And then it gets unreal, and then you don't feel anything."

Angelus spots a young woman with short blonde hair at the bar. He glances furtively at her. Doesn't take him long to catch her attention. He goes over. She looks a little nervous.

LESLIE: I'm here with someone. He's, he's making a call. He'll be right back.

ANGELUS: Lucky man. Having you for a girlfriend.

LESLIE: We're not – I mean – this is our first date.

ANGELUS: Huh. I just figured, with someone like you, I wouldn't allow myself to get distracted by work. You've just met, and already he doesn't have time for you.

LESLIE: That's sweet of you, –

ANGELUS: Angelus. And you?

LESLIE: Leslie. But really, I'm –

ANGELUS: Afraid. I understand.

Angelus touches her hair, then runs his hand down the small of her back. He's very good at this. He's had a lot of practice. Leslie doesn't stand a chance. He can feel her tremble. She's fighting. But soom she'll melt.

The guy comes back. Early 30s. Brown hair, hazel eyes. Angelus's height, but his shoulders are narrower. Not bad looking. Wears a suit with the tie loosened and the top button unbuttoned. Dime a dozen. He gives Angelus a scornful look.

BRIAN: Hey buddy. Scram.

ANGELUS: So this is the lucky fellow.

LESLIE: Brian, we were just talking, He was just –

ANGELUS: Leaving.

Angelus whispers something in Leslie's ear. She laughs. Brian looks pretty pissed. He gets up.

BRIAN: I told you to leave us alone.

ANGELUS: Will you excuse us?

Angelus knows he's close to making Leslie forget all about Brian. He takes Brian by the back of his neck and drags him over to the hallway in back where the bathrooms are. He does it in a way that doesn't look too suspicious.

ANGELUS: Okay Brian. This is your lucky day. You leave now. I don't kill you. [Brian laughs. He doesn't know how generous Angelus's offer is.]

BRIAN: Who the hell do you think you are? And what's with the getup? You trying out for the Village People?

Angelus glances around, makes sure no one's watching, then snaps Brian's neck. He kicks open the rear exit and tosses Brian's body in the dumpster.

ANGELUS: I gave him a chance. Tried to be nice about it. He wouldn't listen to reason.

Angelus walks back over to Leslie.

ANGELUS: Brian had to take another call. Something came up. Probably be better if you try again with him tomorrow.

Leslie looks at Angelus. She knows she should know better. But he's gorgeous. She wasn't that crazy about Brian. And who can blame her for not wanting to pass up this opportunity?

LESLIE: And what about tonight?

ANGELUS: This town's dead on a Sunday. Let's head someplace where there's life.

He smiles. She gets up. Angelus leaves with his arm around Leslie. The bouncer sees him, and remembers he only entered a few minutes ago.

BOUNCER: Looks like Billy Idol's got some competition.

Angelus doesn't hear this. He heads down the street with Leslie. She's definitely going for the bad boy thing. He ducks with her down an empty side street and kisses her. She goes with the moment. Then he bites down and drains her. He loved the instant when she realized this was going very, very wrong. He tosses Leslie into an alley and walks back to his car. He gets in and goes driving down Main Street. Walking along the sidewalk to Angelus's right is Peter. Angelus slows down when he nears Peter. Then he parks his and walks up to the lad.

ANGELUS: The saliva of a Hermeus demon. Not matter how much you scrub, you can't get out the smell.

PETER: Leave me alone. [he walks faster. Angelus easily keeps pace.]

ANGELUS: Let me guess: you for the circle with your buddies and summon the demon and kill the girl so he'll give you riches. But instead, he bites you and takes off. Never trust a demon.

PETER: You're wrong. It would have worked –

ANGELUS: Oh! So you didn't even have the guts to kill the girl?

Peter starts to trust Angelus. He seems to know so much. And like Peter, he's obviously evil.

PETER: I was gonna. The stupid guidance counselor stopped us.

Angelus pauses for a few seconds.

ANGELUS: Buffy Summers is a guidance counselor! How? She hasn't even finished college.

PETER: You know her?

ANGELUS: Unfortunately. She's always messing up everyone's fun.

PETER: Tell me about it.

ANGELUS: So when did she get this new job?

PETER: Last fall. I think they wanted someone who can relate to the students.

ANGELUS: Or someone pretty enough to make the guys show up.

PETER: You got that right. I've heard weird things about her.

ANGELUS: Like what?

PETER: Like she's dating the Principal.

ANGELUS: What!? You're serious.

PETER: And that's why she got the job.

ANGELUS: Unbelievable! Sure, Buffy's always had a thing for older men. But sleeping with a guy to get a job? She must be real hard up for cash.

PETER: And she has this holier-than-thou attitude –

ANGELUS: Like she thinks she's better than everyone else, but you know she's got some skeletons in her closet. Bet you'd like to teach her a lesson.

PETER: You got something in mind?

ANGELUS: I do. You want in?

PETER: So spill it. This better be good.

ANGELUS: It's great. Eternal life. Forever young. Power beyond your wildest dreams.

PETER: [laughs] You mean like a vampire? You're joking, right?

Angelus goes bumpy.

ANGELUS: Does I look like I'm joking?

Peter gets terrified and tries to run away. Angelus grabs him and tosses him into a wall in an alley. Peter's shaking.

ANGELUS: Quit whimpering and take it like a man.

As Angelus drove towards the Bronze, he thought that maybe this was too easy. No signs of Buffy. It was like he literally could kill half the town without her noticing. But he worried about pressing his luck. She couldn't see him before the appointed time, and neither could Connor. If he ruined the surprise, everything would fall apart. Then again, he knew from experience that she didn't patrol immediately after sundown because vampires usually waited till later in the evening to feed. But Connor was different. He was obsessive. He wasn't at home, so he was probably out hunting. But Angelus could literally smell Connor from a mile away. And he could probably pick up Buffy's scent before she got close enough to see him. So Angelus decided to park and go into the Bronze. But first, he loitered outside, near some of the alleys which made such convenient feeding spots. He saw a redhead standing around. She looked very familiar. And then it hit him.

ANGELUS: Janice! Janice is that you? It's me, Angel. Buffy's old friend. I drove you home that one time when Joyce was gone and Buffy had to go out for an "emergency." You liked the convertible.

JANICE: Oh, of course! Now I remember. It's been a long time.

ANGELUS: You're telling me. You've really grown up. So are you still friends with Dawn?

JANICE: Not really.

ANGELUS: How come? I remember you two being best friends.

By making her Dawn's best friend, the monks wrote her into that period in Dawn's life when Angel was is town. The monks never considered that by giving Dawn friends they were creating collateral damage.

JANICE: We used to be. Then when we started going to the new high school, we lost touch. I got new friends. She got new friends. We grew apart.

ANGELUS: I know how that can happen. People change. Look at you. So much for little Janice with the pigtails and braces.

JANICE: Th-th-thanks. I guess. [Angelus touches her stomach.] What are you doing?

ANGELUS: Being friendly.

JANICE: This is a little weird, to say the least.

ANGELUS: So?

JANICE: So I knew you when I was 11.

ANGELUS: You're not 11 anymore.

His hands start groping around. He can tell she's torn. Part of her is revolted, and part of her is excited. Well, mostly she's revolted.

JANICE: Don't. Please.

ANGELUS: Stop me.

The tiny part of her that is excited, as well as the larger part of her which is afraid, prevents her from trying to push him away. He nibbles her right ear and the right side of her neck. He loves the smell of fear. Then he spots something interesting. He looks her in the eyes.

ANGELUS: You've been bitten before. [goes bumpy] Obviously he didn't know what he was doing.

Angelus bites down. Janice tries to scream, but the rapid loss of blood weakens her, and all she gets out is a whimper. She slowly sinks to the ground.

At this point Angelus concluded that he could kill with impunity during the 90-odd minutes he had left before his big reunion with Connor and Buffy. He enters the Bronze. It was repaired on Saturday. The band has not yet taken the stage. Playing on the loudspeaker is Siouxsie and the Banshees' cover of Iggy Pop's "The Passenger." Angelus heads up to the balcony to scope out his prospects. He lights a cigarette he took from Leslie. He rotates it back and forth between his right thump and index finger. He inhales and exhales and hears someone approaching him from behind. She's a young, attractive, vaguely tomboyish woman with short black hair. Angelus doesn't bother to turn around and look at her.

LINDA: Who should we kill first?

ANGELUS: Leave me alone.

LINDA: Just wanted to help.

ANGELUS: Do you know who I am?

LINDA: Of course. Why aren't you in LA?

ANGELUS: Why do you think I would waste my time talking with the likes of you?

He reaches back and puts out his cigarette in Linda's right eye. She goes bumpy and growls. Angelus turns around, grabs her, and throws her into the wall. He puts his right fist through a wooden table, and grabs one of the shards. He approaches Linda, and she looks afraid.

LINDA: Don't you wanna know who sired me?

ANGELUS: No. Because I know I didn't.

He stakes Linda and she turns to dust. Linda was sired the previous fall by Spike. This information might have been very useful to Angelus. He walks over to the side catwalk, where two teenagers are making out. It's such a cliche kill he almost doesn't want to bother. Then he remembers that tonight he's going for both quality and quantity. He walks up behind the guy, snaps his neck, and bites his girlfriend before the poor sap's body even hits the floor. She hardly has time to scream. After draining her, Angelus walks back downstairs. He scans the crowd for "potentials." He tries to see if he catches anyone's eye. He spots a young man who appears to be checking him out. He doesn't care how he gets the victim's attention. So he heads over.

ANGELUS: Hey.

The young man looks nervous.

SCOTT: Hey. This may sound lame, but haven't I seen you somewhere?

ANGELUS: Probably. I get around.

SCOTT: You dated a girl I knew in high school. Is that possible?

Angelus's face brightens up.

ANGELUS: Are you talking about Buffy Summers?

SCOTT: Yes! I knew you looked familiar.

ANGELUS: You knew Buffy?

SCOTT: Yeah. I even dated her for a while.

Angelus looks confused.

ANGELUS: You did? When?

SCOTT: Beginning of senior year.

Angelus remembers that was when he was still in Hell. So THIS was the first rebound guy.

ANGELUS: Something we have in common.

SCOTT: That was, of course, before I realized I was – you know.

ANGELUS: And did Buffy play any part in that? [he's just loving this]

SCOTT: Not really. She was a great girl. But she was difficult. Maybe she led me to conclude that women weren't worth the trouble.

ANGELUS: Buffy has that effect on men. She's a handful. High maintenance doesn't even begin to describe her. Would you like to take a walk? Get some air. Go someplace quiet and talk?

Scott smiles. Then he wonders.

SCOTT: When did you realize?

ANGELUS: My tastes have always been, well, ecumenical.

He's being purely literal of course. He drinks both men and women. If Scott misinterprets, well, all the better for Angelus. He wants Scott to walk to where his body will be dumped. Less work for Angelus. The spot's only two blocks away. Scott's shy, so he doesn't try to touch Angelus, which would have forced our villain to prematurely kill him. Angelus returns to the Bronze. He checks his watch and realizes he has time for one or two really good kills. He moves through the crowd and listens for something interesting – intelligence about Buffy or her friends, people connected to Buffy. He could easily seduce and off another pretty young woman. But this is about getting a kill with meaning. About 30 feet from where he's standing, Mike is talking with his friend Alex.

MIKE: We got along great. I waited a suitable period. Cassie wasn't my girlfriend, but I didn't want to seem like a jerk.

ALEX: Maybe you waited too long. You heard about how she was with RJ.

MIKE: You think she's easy?

ALEX: You shoulda seen her at the Breeder's show. Trust me – nobody was watching the band.

MIKE: That's the problem. She's hot and cold. But mostly cold.

ALEX: You're a magnet for flaky women.

MIKE: Dawn's not flaky. [Angelus's ears perk up]

ALEX: You're right. She's a spaz. Which is worse.

MIKE: Just like that new guy she's with.

ALEX: I know. What's his deal?

MIKE: Mental problems?

ALEX: That goes without saying. I'll be right back.

Alex goes off to the bathroom. Angelus approaches Mike.

ANGELUS: I couldn't help overhearing your dilemma regarding one of the Summers women. I'm an old family friend. Trust me. Buffy was the same way.

MIKE: You knew Buffy when she was in high school?

ANGELUS: Pretty well, actually. I hear she's working at the school?

MIKE: Guidance Counselor. Seems really protective of Dawn. Way too involved in her social life.

ANGELUS: Trust me. Buffy's bark is a lot worse than her bite. So how do you know Dawn?

MIKE: Started hanging out with me and Cassie a couple months ago. Right before Cassie died.

ANGELUS: Sorry to hear that. What was it?

MIKE: Brain hemorrhage. [Angelus was sorry to hear about a non-violent death in Sunnydale] After that, Dawn was pretty friendly. Then she just started disappearing now and then. And she was always with her sister. When I talked to her, it was like her mind was somewhere else. Then this Connor kid comes along.

Angelus is just loving where this is going.

ANGELUS: So this Connor became Dawn's boyfriend?

MIKE: I'm not sure. He came out of nowhere. Then he was with Dawn. And with like three other girls. [Angelus is beaming with pride. Finally, Connor's following in Liam's/Angelus's footsteps.] He's just a complete –

ANGELUS: Lady killer?

MIKE: Jerk. And he's psycho. Beats up people for no reason. Crushed this kid's hand. [Angelus is loving his boy right now. He imagines a violently anti-social, aggressively promiscuous Connor getting all the girls and breaking all the boys. He's full of paternal love.] And Principal Wood actually likes him. And he doesn't even take classes. At least I don't know anyone who's in any classes with him. And no last name? How messed-up is that? 

Alex comes back.

MIKE: Hey Alex.

ALEX: Hey Mikey. Who's this?

ANGELUS: Friend of Dawn's. Old boyfriend of Buffy's.

ALEX: Lucky you.

ANGELUS: You'd think so. But, well, as I was explaining to Mikey, Buffy's even more of a head case than Dawny. Compared to her big sis, Dawn's normal.

ALEX: Really?

ANGELUS: Believe me. You have no idea. So what do you know about this Connor fellow?

ALEX: Saw him put a kid's head through a locker.

Connor was right. He is Angelus's son. Angelus hopes that maybe Connor's gone bad, he's trying to kill Buffy, and Angelus can help him do it. That would be the ultimate bonding experience.

ANGELUS: Sounds really strong. And handsome. The way the girls are falling for him.

ALEX: He's a skinny little runt. Probably hopped up on meth or something. Looks like a girl. [Angelus will make Alex pay dearly for these remarks]

ANGELUS: If Dawny's anything like Buffy, then she likes it rough. Care to hear some really embarrassing stories about your guidance counselor? Come outside.

Alex and Mike are somewhat eager to hear Angelus dish the dirt. Like everyone, they've heard vague rumors of Buffy's oddness, but no specifics. Once they get out in the open, Angelus turns around and floors Alex with a right hook. Then he grabs the frightened Mike.

ANGELUS: It's your lucky day, Mikey. I'm gonna give you what Connor has.

He bites down. When he's finished, Angelus tosses Mike in the trunk with Marigold, Peter and Janice. He puts Alex on top and closes the trunk. Then Angelus takes off, listening to the Rolling Stone's "Midnight Rambler." Not cause he likes the Stones, but because he likes songs about murderers. He soon hears Alex screaming and banging on the top of the trunk. Music to his ears. Kid's locked in a small space with four corpses. Must be scared out of his mind. Alex would be the good, slow kill Angelus was hoping for. He planned just to snap his neck before he sired Mike. That was before Alex started insulting his flesh and blood. After ten minutes, the noises stopped. Alex had passed out due to lack of oxygen and hysteria. When he woke up, he was sitting on a concrete floor in an unfamiliar building. Gazing down at him serenely was Angelus. Alex screamed at the top of his lungs. Angelus had taken him to the factory.

ANGELUS: Scream all you want. No one can hear you, Alex.

He grabs Alex's nose, twists it and breaks it. The pain causes tears to well up in Alex's eyes.

ALEX: Why are you doing this to me?

ANGELUS: Because it makes me happy. And please do scream all you want. That makes me even happier. I've always loved a good, slow torturing. Who doesn't? But I forgot to bring my tools. No razors. No corkscrews. Not even a chainsaw. Nothing but my cold, dead hands. But this could be a blessing. Forces me to get back to basics. And what's more basic than fingers?

Pulls back Alex's right pinky, snapping it. Alex screams and cries. About ten seconds later, Angelus breaks his right ring finger. More wailing and tears.

ANGELUS: Look on the bright side, Alex. Only eight left. Maybe I should give your upper body a rest.

Stabs the fingers on his right hand through Alex's left kneecap. He screams bloody murder. It echoes off the walls and the high ceiling.

ANGELUS: I had forgotten how excellent the acoustics were in this building. Course back then, this was the home of some obsessive-compulsive English twit who never knew how to have any fun. He couldn't to stop and smell the jasmine. Or appreciate the terrified stare of a boy who's just realized that he's about to die.

Angelus goes bumpy. Alex looks even more frightened than before. Angelus bites him and drinks for a few seconds. Then he pulls back.

ANGELUS: All that screaming made me thirsty. Don't worry. I'm not through with you yet. You haven't even begged for me to kill you. And if you don't do that, it's just not any fun. Well will you look at that? Your left hand's completely intact. I can fix that for you.

Pulls back Alex's left pinky. More screaming and crying.

ANGELUS: By the way, speaking of feminine, you scream like a girl.

Angelus stomps on his right kneecap.

ANGELUS: Symmetry. Which reminds me.

Breaks his left ring finger.

ANGELUS: Didn't I tell you to beg!? Now which side is the spleen on? I forget. Nope. I remember.

Punches him in the gut. The spleen bursts. Alex wants to pull his hand in towards his stomach, but he can't on account of his broken fingers. The agony's getting to be too much. Angelus knows that in five more minutes he'll be begging for it to end. And all because a father wanted to stick up for his son.

Around nine, Connor comes over to Buffy's house. He's wearing faded jeans and a brown t-shirt. Buffy told Robin at lunch that she was taking the night off. He walks over to Spike, who's sitting near the back of the living room. The Potentials are in the front half, watching television.

CONNOR: Wanna go hunting?

SPIKE: What exactly did you have in mind?

CONNOR: Vampires.

SPIKE: Go on.

CONNOR: The caves. Some of them nest there. We take em by surprise.

SPIKE: Sounds like a gas. What do you have for backup?

CONNOR: Robin's coming along. I think we can get the job done, even without Buffy.

SPIKE: Try to keep Woody out of trouble. He has a knack for biting off more than he can chew.

CONNOR: Don't worry. I got his back.


	15. Act Two: Hello Buffy, Hello Son

Around nine, Connor comes over to Buffy's house. He's wearing faded jeans and a brown t-shirt. Buffy told Robin at lunch that she was taking the night off. He walks over to Spike, who's sitting near the back of the living room. The Potentials are in the front half, watching television.

CONNOR: Wanna go hunting?

SPIKE: What exactly did you have in mind?

CONNOR: Vampires.

SPIKE: Go on.

CONNOR: The caves. Some of them nest there. We take em by surprise.

SPIKE: Sounds like a gas. What do you have for backup?

CONNOR: Robin's coming along. I think we can get the job done, even without Buffy.

SPIKE: Try to keep Woody out of trouble. He has a knack for biting off more than he can chew.

CONNOR: Don't worry. I got his back.

In retrospect, Spike will find Connor's calm behavior at this moment to be absolutely chilling. It will remind him of the way Angelus used to set up a kill.

Connor and Spike leave. Spike is wearing black jeans, a black t-shirt, and his long leather coat. They go through some woods and enter a clearing near the caves.

CONNOR: I hear something behind us.

Spike turns around, and Connor is gone. He looks back ahead and sees Robin approaching. He wears dark blue jeans and a navy blue tank top. His arms are behind his back. Spike looks for Connor. He's still gone. Spike begins to suspect he is being set up.

WOOD: Nice coat.

SPIKE: Thanks.

WOOD: It looked better on my mother.

Robin pulls a wooden baseball bat out from behind his back and clobbers Spike in the skull. Spike goes down. He covers his head. Robin hits him twice in the spine. Spike gets to his feet. Robin kicks him in the face. Spike backpedals.

SPIKE: I assume there is nothing I can possibly say at this moment that will dissuade you from trying to kill me.

Robin charges in swinging. Spike grabs the barrel of the bat, elbows Robin in the face, takes the bat away from him, and tosses it off into the forest, where Connor is lying in wait.

SPIKE: Very well then. I will try to appeal to whatever remains of your sense of reason.

Wood lands a right hook to Spike's face. Then a left cross. After taking the blows, Spike grabs Robin's arms and pushes him back.

SPIKE: Your mother couldn't kill me. And she had Slayer Power. You don't. What makes you think you'll succeed where she failed?

This only enrages Wood. Spike is counting on this. It means he'd tired out faster and make more mistakes. Wood approaches. Spike protects his face. Wood kicks him in the stomach. Then he lands two more punches to Spike's face. Then a right roundhouse kick to his nose.

BUFFY: Where did you say they went?

GILES: The caves.

BUFFY: The three of them?

GILES: Is this a problem?

BUFFY: I better go check on them. Don't want anyone to get hurt because I wasn't around to protect them.

SPIKE: You got your freebies in. Now I start trying. [Spike goes bumpy and slowly circles round. Wood does likewise.] Never bothered to learn her last name. Nikki Wood. Darling Nikki. (starts singing) "I knew a Slayer named Nikki I guess you could say she was a — "

Spike laughs. He's betting Robin is familiar with the Prince song and will take umbrage at the horrible things Spike is implying about his dear departed mother. It works. Robin charges in recklessly. He grabs Spike, who throws him. Robin gets up and tries a kick. Spike blocks it. He lands a left jab to Spike's stomach and a right uppercut to his chin. Spike remains calm. He looks at the large silver cross on Wood's neck which dangles from a silver chain. Spike jumps forward. Wood retreats.

SPIKE: Still careful. Nice to see you haven't lost all your marbles.

WOOD: Go to hell.

SPIKE: Are you the one who decides that? And here I was thinking you only could hand out detention.

Wood charges in. Spike blocks a right punch, hits Robin across is back, knees him in the chin, then throws him 15 feet backwards.

SPIKE: Just wondering: is there anything I could do to make this easier for you? Cuz I'm trying my best. No point raining on a bloke's life-long revenge fantasy.

They trade punches, and stand about five feet apart.

SPIKE: Little piece a' wisdom I picked up over the years: crosses round the neck? Bloody overrated.

Fakes a right jab. Wood goes to block it. Spike lands a left cross. Then he reaches out with his right hand and grabs the chain Robin's cross dangles from. Spike holds the cross up in the air by its chain.

SPIKE: See wut ah mean?

He tosses it off to the side. Wood grabs a wooden cross from out his pocket with his right hand and shoves it in Spike's face. Spike retreats.

SPIKE: Now you're getting it. Eliminated the chain. Except then you're fighting one-handed.

Leaps in the air and kicks Robin in the face with a left kick. He tries to put the cross up to Spike's leg, but Spike is too quick for it to have any effect.

SPIKE: So when do you whip out the holy water? Don't worry. I got a shield. Your mum's coat.

Wood charges it and punches Spike in the chin. Spike eludes a right hook and kicks Robin in the stomach. Then he hits him with a right roundhouse to the chest. Robin falls down. Buffy heard the sounds of a struggle in the distance. She races to the scene. From her perspective, Spike is attacking Robin.

BUFFY: Spike!! Why the hell are you hurting him!?

SPIKE: Because he keeps attacking me.

Robin goes in. Spike blocks one kick. Wood lands another. Spike blocks two punches. Wood head-butts him. Spike backs up.

SPIKE: See?

BUFFY: Robin!! What's going on?

WOOD: Stay out of it, Buffy. This isn't your fight.

BUFFY: And why is it yours?

WOOD: He killed my mother.

Buffy puts her hands to her mouth.

BUFFY: Omigod. Omigod. I should have known.

Connor has snuck up behind her, and he hits her over the head with the baseball bat. Buffy goes down.

CONNOR: He said stay out.

Buffy gets up and tries to run over to break up the fight. Connor leaps at her and kicked Buffy in the head. She goes down again, but quickly rises to her feet. Connor grabs her to prevent her from interfering and throws her to the ground.

BUFFY: Have you all gone insane!?

CONNOR: What would you do if Spike had killed your mother?

Bad question to ask, since Connor's mommy did try to kill Buffy's mommy. Angelus has yet to arrive on the scene to savor the irony.

BUFFY: Don't you dare try that with me. [she doesn't like strangers bringing up Joyce.]

CONNOR: Try what? Making you feel like a human being?

BUFFY: You don't know the first thing about me.

CONNOR: I know that you'll try and protect Spike. I can't let that happen.

BUFFY: Believe me. Spike's not the one I'm worried about.

Connor tries to club her over the head. Buffy grabs the bat, hits Connor in the mouth with the handle, and breaks the bat in two over her right knee. Connor kicks her in the face. Buffy smiles.

BUFFY: I knew that sooner or later you'd make me teach you a lesson.

Connor grins.

CONNOR: I was hoping you'd say that.

Buffy forgets all about Spike and Robin. Wood continued attacking. Spike continued defending. Spike blocks a kick and sweeps Wood's other leg out from under him. When he rises, Spike hits him in the head with a right roundhouse kick.

SPIKE: How much longer do you plan to keep this up? And don't say until I die. Or until you die. Cuz I'm not about to let either of those things happen.

Wood throws a right punch. Spike blocks it. He takes his wooden cross in his left hand and sticks it against Spike's chest. Spike grimaces. Robin lands a right hook to Spike's chin. He nails Robin with a right jab. Spike tries to sweep Wood's legs, but he jumps in the air. He throws a right spin kick, which Spike backs away from. He tries a left kick which Spike deflects. Spike blocks a right cross, but Robin perseveres and lands a right elbow. He hits Spike with a right spin kick to the stomach. Spike backs up.

SPIKE: There it is! I knew you had some of your mum's flair. I had nothing but respect for her. It was business, not personal. Truthfully, and I really mean this — and don't you go telling her I said this — Nikki was better than Buffy. Problem wuz I could never get Buffy alone for more than 30 seconds at a time. Either it was her mum with an ax or her friends or the bloody sun. Something always ruined the moment. Oh, your mum did make one mistake. She was fast on her feet. Splendid lateral movement. Lotta good that did her in a subway car.

Robin comes at Spike, lands a right jab, and tries to stake him with his left hand. Spike grabs his left wrist and throws Wood on his back.

SPIKE: Getting a bit desperate? You interrupted by train-of-thought. Where was I? Oh yes. Why did your mum accept battle on my terms? Stubbornness, I suppose. Must be where you get it from.

Robin throws a left kick. Spike grabs his foot. Wood twists in midair and lands a right kick. It doesn't pack much force, but it does make Spike let go.

SPIKE: Let's do this right and proper. How bout I show you how I took away your mum? Blow-by-blow. Is that wut you want?

Connor leaps at Buffy and tries a flying kick. Buffy bounds backwards, eluding the blow. Connor ducks to avoid her kick. She throws a right cross, which he blocks. He tries a right hook. She grabs his arm. He hits her in the face with a left jab. She lands one of her own. Connor kicks her in the head. Buffy tries a spin kick. Connor leaps back and avoids it. She moves in. They trade punches. Connor tries a roundhouse right punch. He spins around and hits her right eye. He rotates the other way and lands a left roundhouse kick. When tries to get close, she leaps in the air and knocks him back with a flying right kick to the chin.

Connor decides to stop holding back. He charges Buffy, leaps up, grabs her and takes her to the ground. He gets on top of her and connects with two punches to her face. Buffy kicks him off of her. He does a somersault and gets up. Buffy springs to her feet. Connor flies at her. He doesn't think she can compete with him in the air. She tries to block a kick to her chest, but Connor's momentum knocks her back. He jumps again and kicks her in the face. Buffy continues to backpedal. She knows Connor has tricks, but doesn't think he has technique. He leaps at her again. Buffy jumps up and over Connor. Buffy throws a reverse kick. Connor turns around and has the presence of mind to duck. He kicks her in the chin. Then he jumps up, spins around once, and kicks Buffy. At the moment of impact, she had just left her feet for a flying kick of her own. Buffy spins several times in the air before hitting the ground.

CONNOR: Where is this Slayer Power I hear so much about?

SPIKE: Let's do it. I'll let you kill me. Your last best chance, mate. Oh, that's right. You ain't my mate.

Stirs memories of young Robin watching mommy tell Spike "I ain't your love." He goes in, lands a few blows. He kicks Spike in the face. Spike falls on his back. Robin gets on top of him and pulls out his stake. He tries mightily to drive it home. Spike lets him get the point about an inch from his skin. Then his two hands hold firm against Robin's two hands pushing down. Spike splays his legs out to the side. Then he pulls them inwards in a scissors motion. This knocks Robin's knees together. Spike rolls Robin over. Now he's on top. He rips the stake out of Robin's hands. Then he grips his right hand around Robin's neck.

SPIKE: This is how it ends. Not with a bang. But a whimper.

Spike puts his left hand to Wood's chin as if he is about to snap his neck.

Connor continues on the offensive, trying to destroy Buffy with his speed. He kicks Buffy in the stomach, then immediately blocks her right cross. He blocks a left kick of hers. She tries a right roundhouse. He moves back out of the way, then leaps forward and lands a left-right combination of punches. Buffy throws a left cross. Connor ducks and lands a left uppercut. He leaps up and lands a right kick. Then Connor does a forward cartwheel and hits her in the head. She connects with a right kick to Connor's chest, but he responds with a backflip kick to her head. She staggers backwards. Connor senses victory. He moves in, but — following Spike's advice — chooses to let her throw the first punch. He blocks a left jab. She lands a right to his stomach. He hits her with a left elbow, then a right hook. She tries a right roundhouse kick. Connor blocks it. He lands a left kick to her head. Then right and left jabs. She throws a wild right hook. Connor ducks and floors Buffy with a right hook.

When Buffy gets up, she sees Connor smirking.

CONNOR: You can't do it. You can't beat me.

That was all the motivation Buffy needed. She kicks Connor in the groin. He did not see that coming. She hits him in the chin with a right uppercut. He flies backwards and lands on his back.

BUFFY: You wanted to see Slayer Power? Well here it is.

He gets up. She kicks him in the head. She blocks his kick, lands a right jab, ducks to avoid his right hook, lands a left hook, blocks his right spin kick, then kicks him in the face with her right foot. Connor prepares to throw a left jab. He inadvertently drops his right, and Buffy nails him in the chin with a left cross. Connor backs up. She lands a flying spin kick. Connor throws a left-right combination. Buffy blocks both these punches and knocks him down with two right jabs. Connor quickly gets up, only to be kicked in the side of the head, then in the stomach, then in the chin. He leans forward to try a right kick. Buffy trips up his left leg by kicking him in the shin. He falls forward. Before Connor can hit the ground, Buffy kicks his head up with her left foot. She follows this with a backwards handspring and a right kick to Connor's chin. (Spike would have been impressed by Buffy's ability to juggle Connor like a football.) Connor flips through the air and crashes into the ground. When he looks up, he sees an ominously familiar face.

ANGELUS: Son, what did I teach you about balance?

Buffy can't quite believe her eyes.

BUFFY: Angel?

ANGELUS: No.

Angelus knocks Buffy down with a right hook.

ANGELUS: Damm that felt good!

Connor stands up and starts inching away from Angelus.

ANGELUS: Come on Connor. Let's kill her together. Do it for mommy.

BUFFY: How do you know Angel?

CONNOR: His name's Angelus.

ANGELUS: Look at the two of us. Can't you see the resemblance? He's my son.

BUFFY: Huh???

Angelus hits Buffy with a left. She staggers backwards but stays on her feet. He goes bumpy. Then he sees a new opportunity.

ANGELUS: Oh, come on Spike! Snap his neck already! Bite him! Finish him off!

Spike gets up off of Robin.

SPIKE: Angelus!!

ANGELUS: Spike!! What a great surprise!

Robin gets up and tries to stake Spike. Spike grabs his right arm, blocks the stake, then sends Wood to the ground with a left hook. He walks up to Angelus, who is walking down to him. They embrace. Angelus kisses Spike on the forehead. They both laugh.

SPIKE: Who did you lose it to this time?

ANGELUS: Some shaman.

SPIKE: A bloke? I thought you were through with that phase a long time ago.

BUFFY: What phase? There was a phase?

ANGELUS: Forget about this guy. I know what you really want to kill. Remember when you told me how great it was killing that last Slayer? The joy of squeezing the life out her. How much it turned you on.

Wood makes a dash for Spike. Buffy grabs him.

ANGELUS: What's his problem?

SPIKE: His mum was a Slayer. I killed her.

ANGELUS: No!!! A vampire hunter, out for vengeance. Remind you of someone, Connor? So this is the new boyfriend. A marked improvement on your last human boyfriend. But that's setting the bar a little low. Nice to meet you, Principal Wood.

Buffy is nervous about how Angelus knows so much.

ANGELUS: Do you have a first name?

WOOD: Robin.

ANGELUS: Robin Wood. Robin-Wood. That's a curse of a name if I've ever heard one. How many Friar Tuck jokes did you hear as a kid? First mommy saddles you with that lousy name. Then she up and dies. Never heard of a Slayer having kids. Then again, they are a promiscuous bunch. And weirder things have happened.

WOOD: [to Buffy] How much longer are you going to let this joker ramble on before you stake him?

ANGELUS: Ooooh. You have a LOT to learn about Buffy, Robin. But I love the look. Brains AND brawn. Hey Connor, wouldn't he be perfect for Fred? Here's some advice: when you leave Buffy – and you will, because sooner or later all of Buffy's men leave her – come to LA and look up Winifred Burkle. She's really sweet, really smart, really cute. And you are just her type. [pauses for a few seconds] Gee Buffy, you're unusually quiet tonight. Why so sullen? Aren't going to ask me what I've been up to? Fine. You'll die ignorant. Makes sense. You always did live in the dark. Never knowing the first thing about the people you loved. Oh well.

SPIKE: Are you finished chewing up the scenery?

ANGELUS: That's my Spikey. Always impatient to get down to business. Forget about the ebony avenger. By the way, it just occurred to me, since your mother was a Slayer, and Buffy's a Slayer, isn't dating Buffy a bit like dating your mother? There seems to be a lot of that going around. [smiles at Connor] Come on Spike. You know she can't take us both. Wouldn't even be a fair fight. We could take our time. Torture her. See what that body can take. Make a whole evening out of it. Whadya say to making your dream come true?

Spike gets face-to-face with Angelus and chuckles. They're both all bumpy. Angelus looks happy. He thinks it will be like old times. In a way, he's right.

SPIKE: Sorry mate. Some things haven't changed.

Head-butts Angelus. Punches him in the face. Angelus laughs.

ANGELUS: Are you still mad because I boned Dru?

CONNOR: Who's Dru?

SPIKE: You can have her. I've moved on.

CONNOR: Who's Dru!

SPIKE: What business of it is yours!?

CONNOR: He's my father.

Everyone's quiet for a few seconds. Angelus and Spike both go back to their human faces. Buffy assumed the "he's my son" stuff was just some sort of weird joke. She's still in denial. Wood is the first to put it all together. Spike is a close second.

WOOD: A child of vampires. That would explain an awful lot.

Spike walks up to Connor and looks closely at his face. Connor feels very, very self-conscious.

SPIKE: So if Angelus is your dad, does that mean Darla's your mum?

ANGELUS: Jackpot!

SPIKE: Always suspected she had a strong maternal instinct.

ANGELUS: You should have seen her nine month's pregnant.

SPIKE: And the delivery! She must uv been a real peach during labor. When did this miracle happen?

ANGELUS: Last year. He was kidnapped and raised in another dimension. It's a long, boring story.

Buffy frantically tries to make sense of everything. It is as if the very fabric of her reality is unraveling.

BUFFY: Angel, I saw you stake Darla!

CONNOR: You staked mom?

SPIKE: She was resurrected a couple years back.

CONNOR: You staked mom!

BUFFY: Am I on Candid Camera?

CONNOR: How could you do that to her?

ANGELUS: I plead temporary insanity. I had a soul. And I only did it to save Buffy's life. So Buffy's really the one responsible. This is why you have to kill her. It's a blood feud. She's your natural enemy. Darla staked herself so you could be born. You owe her this.

SPIKE: A father always wants his son to achieve the things he COULDN'T.

ANGELUS: You're one to talk. Now's your chance to rectify that failure.

SPIKE: First off, I work alone. Second, like I was trying to tell you, one thing hasn't changed. One of us still has a soul.

Angelus looks stunned. Then a smile creeps across his face. He starts laughing under his breath.

ANGELUS: William, I don't think I need to tell you that you really should have known better. Oh, the irony! Remember that speech you gave me? "You Uncle Tom! We don't change. Demons don't change!" And now look at you. Wait a second. You have a soul. This guy from your past is trying to stake you because you murdered his family. Dru's not pregnant, is she? Just checking.

It's all so damm familiar. I had one just like him. He was older and white and English and from the 18th century, but they're basically the same guy. Connor can explain. I bet you two bonded real fast.

WOOD: Buffy, how do you know this clown?

ANGELUS: Please don't mouth off and make me have to kill you. Then you'll never get the chance to hurt Buffy. And Buffy, lover, I think you have something to tell your boss.

BUFFY: We dated. Back when he had a soul.

WOOD: Another vampire with a soul. How many of you guys are there?

ANGELUS: Another!? I'll let that slide for now. Buffy, please continue. And Connor, I think you should also pay close attention.

Buffy hits Angelus in the face. He smiles.

ANGELUS: I was wondering what it would take to make you get physical. Usually you lose all self-control so quickly around me.

She kicks him. He blocks the next kick.

ANGELUS: Fine. I'll tell.

Buffy pulls back. If she told, she would be following Angelus's orders. If she kept attacking him, it would look like she was fighting him to keep him from talking.

ANGELUS: Back when she was in high school, I robbed Buffy of her innocence, in more ways than the obvious. So many more ways. Oh, and I'll always be her one true love. I mean, Angel will. Go ahead. Ask her to deny it. [looks at Buffy and smiles]

WOOD: You name your alter ego? That's sad. Buffy, you actually slept with this guy? This vampire?

BUFFY: He's different when he has a soul.

WOOD: You mean he's not self-absorbed and narcissistic and in love with the sound of his own voice?

SPIKE: He is. But he's also grumpy. That's the difference.

CONNOR: How could you sleep with Buffy?

ANGELUS: Killed your mom. Slept with your dad. I think you have more than enough reasons to help me kill her.

CONNOR: What about Cordy? I've seen pictures of Cordy when she was in high school. She was hot. A lot prettier than Buffy ever could have been. Look at her! She's nothing but a cheap knock-off version of mom!

ANGELUS: Never thought about it that way. Buffy as a Darla substitute. What's your view on that, Spike?

CONNOR: I thought you always loved Cordy.

BUFFY: Why would he possibly think – ? Wait . . . No.

ANGELUS: I admit it. There were feelings. And son, you can thank her for my presence tonight. She had a vision you were in trouble.

SPIKE: You always have had a thing for brunettes with visions.

ANGELUS: But Buffy, please don't feel jealous. Nothing happened. She played hard to get. Something you weren't very good at. In all my years, I've never known a bigger pushover: "I love you, Angel. I'd give up everything to be with you, Angel. I couldn't stand living without you, Angel. It hurts so much that I can't spread my legs for you, Angel. Oh Angel, I wish we could be together forever." I had to listen to that everyday. [looks at Wood] Can you blame me for being a little conceited? And check out the bottom of the right side of her neck. See the large crescent-shaped scar? She let me bite her and drink about four pints of her blood so I wouldn't die. Now THAT is devotion. Course if you look closely you'll notice I'm not the only vampire who's gotten under her skin. See those two holes. Shallow, tiny, widely-spaced. I'm pretty sure that's the bite mark of Dracula. Angel never had the guts to ask you about that. Because as vampires go, Dracula is rather declasse. Used to have a huge obsession with Darla. But don't worry, Connor. She always turned him down. Your mother had standards.

CONNOR: They why'd she end up with you?

ANGELUS: Ouch. That almost hurt. After all, I love you. Because you're evil. Like me. Like your mother. You kill, you destroy, you seduce. You hurt the people who love you most.

CONNOR: I'm not like you.

ANGELUS: Why not? Because you kill evil things? You don't kill them because they're evil. You kill them because you like killing. It gives you a thrill. Always has. It's the same "thrill of the kill" that I feel. The same one Darla felt. You said it yourself – Angelus is your real father.

CONNOR: I wouldn't be so happy to have me following in your footsteps. You killed your father.

ANGELUS: And my mother. You were halfway there before you took your first breath. Your mother was possessed by your soul at that moment. And your soul told her to die. See Connor. You're just like your parents. You have to kill to survive. And I know I'm not the only one here who thinks you're evil. That's why everyone's always looked at you funny. They're wondering when you'll turn on them.

SPIKE: As someone Connor has turned on and betrayed, I have to disagree. Unlike you, Connor's not a coward.

Angelus is in the middle of a square created by his four adversaries. Spike is behind and to his right. Connor is behind and to his left. Buffy is in front and to his left. And Robin is in front and to his right.

ANGELUS: Of course. It's very cowardly of me to come here and bait all of you people into a fight. Honestly, I thought you would fight me. What's a guy gotta do to get jumped in this town? Four of you. One of me. Each of you wants to kick my ass. And yet none of you has made a move. Wait. I know why. You hate each other. Spike can't take me on because he's worried Robin will stake him in the back. Buffy probably thinks Connor's evil, and won't turn her back on him. Robin would like to see Spike and I hurt each other before he gets involved. Connor feels likewise about me and Buffy. So you stand there, hating me, doing nothing. Wonder what will happen when I do the "cowardly" thing and attack your strongest fighter.

Angelus moves in on Buffy. She's been weakened by her intense fight with Connor. Angelus punches her in the face with a right cross. She throws a right kick. Angelus blocks it and lands a left jab. Buffy hits Angelus with a left hook. He kicks her in the stomach with his right foot, then in the head with a left roundhouse. He closes in and grabs both her forearms.

ANGELUS: What happened to that fire inside you?

She tries to head-butt him. He moves his head to the right and avoids the blow. She manages to sweep out his right leg. Angelus falls down, but kicks Buffy when she gets close. He returns to his feet. She kicks him in the head with a right roundhouse. He lands a right hook to her ribs, then a left uppercut to the her stomach. She throws a right cross. He blocks it and lands a left jab. He tries a right roundhouse kick which Buffy blocks, but lands a left kick to her ribs, then left and right punches to her face. He's fresh. She's not. Before she gets a chance to try gain the upper hand, Connor comes up from behind and hits Angelus's left cheek with a right cross. For Angelus, this was most unexpected. Connor hits him in the mouth with a left jab, then kicks him in the chin. Angelus saunters back and looks bemused.

ANGELUS: Always have dreamed of beating up your old man. Now you have Buffy to help you do it.

Connor moves off to Angelus's left.

CONNOR: I don't need to waste my time with you.

He runs off.

ANGELUS: He was exactly like this when I had a soul. I was hoping he'd leave. Now we can have a nice adult conversation. Buffy and her men. Isn't that why you're around, Spike? You're over Dru because you want to be under Buffy. You love her, don't you?

SPIKE: You mean am I jealous of you? No.

He's got an "I know something you don't know" twinkle in his eye.

ANGELUS: But you've been jealous of far lesser men than me. That Riley loser, for instance. To be jealous of me is perfectly respectable. But him! How demeaning. And now there's the new guy. Rubbing his bald head all over her milky, smooth flesh.

Angelus has gotten a bit too caught up in the LA-Sunnydale parallels. Spike-Buffy-Wood is not Wes-Fred-Gunn.

WOOD: What the hell are you talking about?

ANGELUS: Sorry to switch the subject from what you want to talk about. You know. Buffy's past. The shocking, slightly scandalous elements of that past she's hidden from you.

Spike stays mum. There are some scandalous elements of Buffy's past Angelus knows nothing about. He's just waiting for his moment.

WOOD: And why would I want to talk about anything in front of you?

ANGELUS: Fine. Forget about me. Let's talk about Dracula.

WOOD: You made that up.

ANGELUS: Did I? Buffy, you've been VERY quiet tonight. Aren't people very quiet when they feel ashamed?

BUFFY: About Dracula? Please.

WOOD: Wait a second. Dracula's real?

ANGELUS: A real loser.

BUFFY: He came to town. Ambushed me. Bit me for a second. I beat him up. I staked him. End of story.

ANGELUS: See? Nothing to be ashamed of. I'm the only vampire she's ever boned.

Spike's moment had arrived. Buffy sees him grinning. She starts to look very nervous.

SPIKE: Why don't you ask her if that's true?

Angelus is genuinely shocked. And Robin starts to suspect the worst.

WOOD: No. You didn't. Tell me you didn't. [he is met with embarrassed silence]

ANGELUS: So that's how it works with you. Vampire gets a soul, he gets to jump your bones?

SPIKE: Your intuition is shooting blanks tonight, old boy.

ANGELUS: Is he saying what I think he's saying? Oh, Buffy. Have you no sense of decency?

WOOD: I knew there was something between you two. But I never thought –

ANGELUS: She'd stoop THAT low? Neither did I. And still with the shameful silence.

WOOD: You let that monster, that demon who killed my mother, inside you?

Buffy realizes Robin is lost and that it is hopeless for her to defend her past actions to him.

BUFFY: You wouldn't understand.

WOOD: I don't want to. And don't try to say it's because you're a Slayer, and Slayers are different. Not like that they aren't. My mother never would've even considered – let alone twice. [chuckles once and grimaces] If my mother could see you now, I wonder what she'd say to you.

ANGELUS: Spike, you knew her. What do you think she'd say?

WOOD: I'll leave you with your "men."

He walks off. Angelus decides to yell out a parting shot.

ANGELUS: So are you going to fire her because of this?

He turns to Buffy and smiles. He never anticipated that he could humiliate Buffy this much. It made him feel good inside.

ANGELUS: I really did ruin you for all other men.

Next: Buffy's alone with her two vampire lovers. The Spike and Angelus go one-on-one when Buffy heads home to tell the Scoobies the shocking news. Meanwhile, Connor has plans of his own.


	16. Act Three: The Scoobies React to Angelus

[The Scoobies learn who Connor is, and react with varying amounts of shock and disgust. Xander is very upset that Anya slept with Angel's boy. Spike and Angelus have a few words for each other. And Buffy tries to keep her composure and solve the problem.]

Connor's cover was blown. Even worse, they knew his father. Even worse than that, Buffy and daddy had some relationship which Connor regarded as nothing less than a sin against nature. He resolved to make the best of the new situation. He runs over to Buffy's house, climbs up the back of the house, and knocks on Dawn's window. At first, she is frightened. Then she sees Connor. She is less frightened, though still a little wigged. She opens her window.

CONNOR: Wanna go out? No demon hunting. I promise. Just to talk, and whatever.

Dawn turns around. Her heart's racing. This sounds almost like a date.

DAWN: I'll be down in a second.

Connor leaps to the ground below. Dawn panics a bit. She wasn't expecting this. She combs her hair. Puts on a little make-up. Quickly changes. Then climbs out the window and falls awkwardly to the ground. She's wearing tan boots, a tan skirt, and a black short-sleeved shirt. She takes one look at Connor and realizes she might be a tad overdressed.

DAWN: Is this okay? I can change if —

CONNOR: You look nice.

Dawn's relieved. Then she notices he's slightly more bruised than usual.

DAWN: What happened to your face?

CONNOR: It was nothing.

He takes her hand. They head out.

CONNOR: Dawn, there's something I need to tell you about myself.

ANGELUS: You finally got us alone. And you don't care whether or not we have a soul. I hope you're not thinking threesome, because I'll tell you the same thing I told Dru.

SPIKE: You told Dru yes. I'm the one who said no.

ANGELUS: You really are a sap. I knew Buffy came back a little disconnected from this reality. Wasn't too happy with the deal she had been re-dealt. So she uses you as a pick-me-up. Makes sense. You're available. Willing to be treated like dirt. Desperate for a shag. But you get addicted. Decide you need to take the plunge, get souled. I know about those "Prove you're a mini-champion, Make a wish" dives. Don't think any vampire's ever been so down on his luck he'd actually WANT a soul. Demon must have been laughing his virtual head off. But then things get even more pathetic. Way I see it, Buffy's made you her palace eunuch. All that trouble, everything you did for her, and she's dating some other guy. And you take it! Ain't fortune a bitch? Uncursed soul. You can sleep with her! You boned her when you were evil! But now she doesn't want you.

BUFFY: Would you two like to be alone?

ANGELUS: She doesn't even notice you. Doesn't stick up for you. What do YOU get out this partnership, Spike?

SPIKE: You'd be amazed.

BUFFY: I'll be happy to take off. Unless you're in the mood for another fight. Otherwise Angel, you're just boring me. Maybe you're off your game tonight.

ANGELUS: Shows how little you know. That seems to be the theme of the evening. By the way, you might be wondering about Cordy. When did the sparks start flying? It wasn't after your death. Angel cried himself dry on your gravestone — cute elegy, though a touch irreverent for an eternal resting place. Maybe that's why it didn't take. Then Angel fled halfway across the globe, spent four months in Nepal meditating. Granted, since meditation is all about breathing and controlling your heart rate, he was just pretending. Needed to be alone with his thoughts. Of course Angel blamed himself. Felt that he should have been there to save you. Then you come back. It's like his world is alive again. Still, Cordy's started to martyr herself for Angel, and you know how he loves that. But his soul still belongs to you. Then Connor comes into his world. And when he looks into his baby's boy's eyes, Angel forgets all about Buffy. All he wants is to be a daddy, and to have Cordelia be the mommy.

Alas, the family fantasy turns into a Greek tragedy. You saw how Connor feels about her. And then Angel catches her sleeping with him! Still, when Angel's had enough of bashing his head into the wall and finally decides to chuck his soul, and the shaman gives Angel his dream of perfect happiness, you know who Angel sleeps with? Cordelia! After all that, he still chooses her over you. You know what his last words were? "Buffy, I'm so sorry." The beauty of this is, once you enter the story, the tragedy turns into a comedy. No matter what Angel does, no matter how much he forgets about you, you'll always love him. Even when he no longer loves you. Like Darla told you: the greatest tragedy is "loving a man who no longer loves you." Doesn't get any funnier than that.

Buffy turns around and runs away. Angelus laughs.

ANGELUS: But she breaks just like a little girl.

SPIKE: Never figured you for a Dylan fan.

ANGELUS: Me? Nah. Never been one to rage against the dying of the light.

Spike rolls his eyes and groans.

SPIKE: Did you sleep through the entire 1960s? And the 70s and the 80s for that matter? Cause I look at you, and I see a man frozen in time from fifty years ago. Still listening to your schmaltzy crooners and trying to be Marlon bloody Brando. "The Wild One" without his hog. With Angel it's "On the Waterfront." Standing up to the big evil. Ennobling yourself by taking your punishment. Angelus is what? Stanley Kowalski? "Streetcar Named Desire"?

Angelus looks up, pretends to rip his shirt off.

ANGELUS: Buffy! Buffy!!

They both laugh. Unfortunately, Angelus lacks the pop culture knowledge to lampoon Spike's persona.

ANGELUS: Spike. What can I say? Once upon a time, you had talent. Coulda been a champion. Coulda been a contender. But now here you are, being the very thing you've always mocked, devoting your life to a woman who can never love you.

SPIKE: This from a man who got cuckolded by his own son. Now I know for a fact that ever since Cordelia met you she's wanted nothing more than to wrap her legs round those velvet rims and strap her hands across your engines.

ANGELUS: Nice imagery. You been reading Jackie Collins?

SPIKE: Does your cluelessness know no bounds!? Have you even bought a record since they stopped making 78s? Now I get it. Connor doesn't hate you because you're evil. He hates you because you're lame! Anyway, back to Cordelia grinding against the loins of the fruit of your loins. Why do you think she would do such a thing?

ANGELUS: So she could give birth to an evil demigod that will enslave mankind?

SPIKE: That would be one explanation. Or it could be because women don't want to settle for a one-hit wonder.

ANGELUS: We're not talking about Cordy, are we Spike? And you're only making my point for me. Even though you can give Buffy what Angel can't, she'd still choose Angel. How much of a loser does that make you?

SPIKE: You knew the girl. You've never known the woman. And trust me, she's become a whole other animal. The things she does. The things she needs done to her. Makes Dru look like a nun.

ANGELUS: Dru was a nun.

SPIKE: Right. I forgot. My point is, she's not the little schoolgirl who doodled in her notebook for you.

ANGELUS: She told you about that?

SPIKE: I was just going with the stereotype. Bloody hell, she sure was vapid back in the day. Must be why I didn't care for her. Then again, I'm not like you. I don't have to go trolling for ingenues. You know why you love virgins? Because they don't know any better. They have nothing to compare you to. You've never stood up well to competition.

ANGELUS: Can you please remind me why you fell for Buffy in the first place? I know. It's because Dru liked ME better.

SPIKE: I loved Buffy because Dru left me? Dru said it was the other way around. By the way, why isn't she with you? I'm sure she felt it when you lost your soul. You know how she is with those things. But enough about the old battle ax. Let's talk about Darla. You shagged her when you had a soul. Couldn't resist. Can't say I blame you. But did you go back? Sorry Sybil, Janus, Hannibal Lector, whoever your role model is. I mean, did Angel go back for seconds?

ANGELUS: Darla wouldn't take him. She wanted me.

SPIKE: Bollocks. She'd take you any way she could get you. We both know that. Why didn't Angel go back? Because she was an evil, soulless demon. So was I. And Buffy came back. Again. And again. And again. And again. You can imagine how awful that made her soul feel. How degraded. Humiliated. Sub-human. And yet she couldn't resist.

ANGELUS: Like Mount Everest. You were there.

SPIKE: And so was Darla. But as good as she was, Angel stayed away. Buffy couldn't. How good does that make me?

ANGELUS: Nice in theory. But it falls apart when you get a soul and she gives you the cold shoulder. In the fairy tale you're spinning, once you become good there's no reason she wouldn't fall into your arms, declare her love, and live happily ever after with you. But that hasn't happened, has it Spike?

SPIKE: It takes time. Not because of the all nasty things she let me do to her. But because of all the awful things I did to her even when she said no. This is the part of the story I know you'll love.

At home, they're reading and watching television.

ANCHOR: A spokesperson for the actor insisted that the injuries were sustained in a motorcycle accident. And in a related story, who is Britney Spears' new mystery man?

ANYA: Doesn't that look a little like Angel?

WILLOW: No. Not really.

ANYA: I thinks it looks a lot like Angel.

WILLOW: Very funny.

ANYA: Okay. The picture is a side profile. And I only met him that one time. But I'm pretty sure that's him.

Buffy races into the house.

ANYA: She can help us. Buffy, does this look like — ?

BUFFY: Angel's here. And he's evil. And he's Connor's father.

XANDER: What! Can you run that by me again?

WILLOW: That last part kind of threw me, too.

GILES: Angelus has returned. You're saying this has something to do with that Connor chap?

BUFFY: Angel is Connor's father. Darla is his mother.

XANDER: Do you know what this means.

GILES: A human child of vampires.

ANDREW: I knew it!!! Didn't I say this last night? Didn't I!?

XANDER: All that time he was here, Angel was a deadbeat dad. What a scumbag. Hold on. How can this be happening?

WILLOW: I think we all have a lot of questions.

BUFFY: He was born sometime last year and grew up in another dimension.

XANDER: He abandoned his own child in another dimension? The cruelty of that evil, evil man. Who's Darla?

GILES: We saw her turn to dust six years ago.

BUFFY: She was resurrected.

XANDER: What is there, a rule? Sleep with Angel, get a free resurrection?

ANYA: If there's a better pickup line than that, well I haven't heard it.

WILLOW: Has this ever happened before? Ever?

GILES: No. There were a few crackpot prophesies about a child being born to vampires. No one ever took them seriously.

ANYA: The ones I've heard usually involve the end of the world.

ANDREW: A child unlike any other. Living in a world not his own. Torn between his vampire and human selves.

XANDER: Will you stop that? This is not a comic book. [he's breathing very fast] I need to lie down. Do you know what this means? Angel is breeding!!

ANYA: I know it kind of flew by, but did you also say something about him being evil?

BUFFY: Yes. He's lost his soul.

WILLOW: You're hurt. Did Angel do that?

BUFFY: He's all talk. These are from Connor. Before Angel arrived.

XANDER: So Connor IS evil? Of course. He's Angel's son! How could he not be evil? And he slept with Anya. My God! You did the nasty with Angel's demon seed.

MOLLY: Why would Connor hurt you?

AMANDA: So is he part vampire?

RONA: Which part?

VI: I don't think we wanna know.

Fadila raises her hand.

FADILA: Who's Angel?

BUFFY: Spike killed Robin's mother.

ANYA: When? Tonight? Last November?

GILES: In 1977. Nikki Wood. I should have known.

BUFFY: Robin tried to kill Spike. Connor tried to keep me from interfering.

XANDER: Connor wants Spike dead. Does that mean he's not evil?

WILLOW: This was before Angel came?

BUFFY: Yep. But that's all in the past.

XANDER: [hopefully] You mean Spike's dead?

Buffy glares at Xander.

BUFFY: No. Spike fought him off. Then Robin majorly wigged when Angel showed up. So did Connor.

GILES: That would be understandable. On both accounts. Why can't I stand up?

XANDER: Probably because you can't use your legs. Don't fight it.

GILES: Where is Angelus right now? Please don't tell me you left him alone.

BUFFY: Spike's keeping him busy. Willow, you know what to do. You have the supplies?

WILLOW: Supplies? For what? Oh! That. I think so. Give me a minute.

Kennedy's in their bedroom reading. Willow bursts in and rifles through her closets and drawers.

WILLOW: Orb of Thessala. Where are you? Gotcha. Okay, the spell. Which notebook did I put it in. Wait! It's probably still in my computer. What did I name that file? Jenny? Jenny! Print that out. There I go. Okay. Incense. Toad stools. Some ochre. And I'm in business.

KENNEDY: What's going on? Is there a problem?

WILLOW: Get your coat. I'll explain on the way. [they go downstairs]

Willow now understands the dream she had last night. Jenny Calendar deciphered the spell that restored Angel's soul, but not before he killed her. It was a portent. Kennedy, Willow and Buffy head out.

ANGELUS: On the bathroom floor? And she cried? Not bad. I'm sure I could have done it a lot better. Balcony scene was charming. Making her watch Xander and Willow was a nice touch. Still. I have to wonder. Why didn't you bite her? You obviously had plenty of chances. And trust me. She likes it. Gets off on it. All that Slayer blood, and you don't touch a drop. Were you afraid?

SPIKE: You haven't killed a Slayer, so you wouldn't understand. Tastes better when you earn it. Otherwise you're just a parasite. A mere scavenger.

ANGELUS: Bull. You were afraid she'd kill you.

SPIKE: You don't think I could have gotten away with that? After I got my soul, I went on a little bit of a bender. Killed ten people. And what do you think Buffy did? She said it wasn't my fault! Better yet, she had me move into her house.

ANGELUS: What about the chip? I heard about that. Can't believe you got Shanghaied by those GI Joes.

SPIKE: Buffy had them remove it. Said she trusted me. Free will and all that.

ANGELUS: You still don't get it. You're not her lover. You're her child. That's why she forgives you. Why she wants you at home. Why she spends time with you. You're her baby. She made you the whatever-it-is you are today. She taught you the difference between right and wrong. She wants to proud of her baby William. Wants you to succeed. It validates her as a parent.

FADILA: Who's Angel?

AMANDA: Buffy's old boyfriend.

MOLLY: He was her first.

MADARI: He's with the First?

AMANDA: No. Angel was her first —

FADILA: Buffy lost her virginity to a vampire?

ANYA: And then he went evil and started killing people all around town.

ARIELLA: Talk about a traumatic example of the dangers of sex before marriage.

AMANDA: No, it's just an example of the dangers of sex with vampires.

VI: I would've thought the dangers of that would be rather obvious.

MADARI: So Connor's not a boy Slayer. He's a boy vampire?

RONA: No. He's warm. And he has a heartbeat.

MOLLY: I remember how you found that out.

RONA: Oh! Like you weren't also all over him?

XANDER: And on top of everything else, you're like 1,000 times Connor's age!

ANYA: Preying mantis. Incan Mummy.

XANDER: Ancient history!

ANYA: Pre-Columbian, in the case of the latter. But what about your last date? The demon vixen who tied you to the wheel of pain?

XANDER: None of them were the children of Buffy's former boyfriend.

ANYA: How could I have possibly known who he was?

XANDER: It's just so creepy. And incestuous.

ANYA: That's ridiculous.

ANDREW: I wonder what dimension he grew up in. Maybe he was raised by Klingons. He has the plain-spoken, violent disposition of a Klingon. And they're bumpy and really strong like his parents.

Giles can't take any more of this chatter.

GILES: Look! I can use my legs. I'm going into the kitchen to make a few phone calls. Try get to the bottom of Connor's unprecedented existence. Just when you think you've seen everything.

SPIKE: So is this why you came back? Spook your son. Throw a few insults at Buffy. Sounds like a bloody waste of time. I know how to fix that. Let's have you do something memorable.

Takes two stakes out of his coat pocket. Tosses one to Angelus.

SPIKE: Care for a little fight to the death?

[Next: A Spike-Angelus rumble. Willow shows Angelus how powerful she's become. But Angelus has a surprise of his own. Giles talks to Wesley and discovers Connor isn't even close to the oddest thing that's happened in LA recently. Plus, Connor and Dawn play "Who's got the weirdest origin?" Buffy still has yet to work through her seething rage. Maybe she'll work take it out on Connor.]


	17. Act Four: Spike and Angelus Fight It Out

ANGELUS: Are you sure Buffy would approve?

SPIKE: I'll tell her a group of girls came walking by and you attacked them. Staking you was the only way to save their innocent lives. She won't be happy. But she'd understand. I'll say I warned you, tried to stop you, but you were too stupid and pigheaded to listen. Plus, I don't think she's ever been more pissed off at Angel than she is right now. If there ever was a time I could get away with offing you, this is it.

ANGELUS: Like you could kill me.

SPIKE: Then why would you ask if Buffy would approve? If there was no chance of me beating you, that question would be moot. And yet you asked it. Which means you think it's possible.

ANGELUS: It means I question your sincerity.

SPIKE: You think I'm bluffing? You're right. I wouldn't mind having you dead. But I would prefer to have Angel around, so I can rub his face in the recent developments. He's so good at suffering. It's wut he was built for.

ANGELUS: So you stand to gain little from my death. While when I kill you I escape, continue ravaging this town, and elude Buffy. You make a very good argument for killing you.

SPIKE: We both knew sooner of later it would have to come to this. What better place than here? What better time than now?

ANGELUS: I had a sneaking suspicion you wanted someone to put you out of your misery.

They both put the stake up their right jacket sleeves and go bumpy.

ANGELUS: Only one thing missing.

SPIKE: Portentous theme music?

ANGELUS: An audience.

SPIKE: Always did my best work without one. Ask Robin's mum.

ANGELUS: You're no longer fighting little girls, William.

SPIKE: But you're still running away from them, Liam.

They close. Angelus lands a left jab. Spike blocks a right cross and lands a right jab, then a left hook. Angelus tries a right hook. Spike moves back out of the way. Angelus throws a right roundhouse kick, which Spike blocks. He tries a left kick. Angelus blocks it and connects with a left jab and a right cross.

SPIKE: Cum on, boyo. Where's that killer instinct? You're about as vicious as a house cat. Can't you even hurt me?

Angelus throws two punches. Spike dodges both. He throws a left punch, which Angelus blocks before punching Spike in the nose. Spike and Angelus exchange left hooks. Angeles kicks Spike in the chin.

SPIKE: Who do you think Connor would put money on in this fight?

ANGELUS: If he's betting with his heart, he'd go with you, since he wants me dead. If he's betting to win, then it's me. Kid's seen both of us in action.

SPIKE: That's true. Probably why he's been coming to me every day for lessons. He seems to feel the training you've provided is woefully inadequate. You should see him with me. Wide-eyed. Eager to learn. Taking in every word I say. Always comes a time in a boy's life when he meets someone he respects more than his father.

The provocation works. Angelus takes the bait and rushes Spike, hitting him twice in the face. He kicks Spike, but Spike ducks out of the way of the next kick and lands two punches to Angelus's face. Angelus responds by nailing Spike with a left round house kick. He punches Spike in the stomach. Spike kicks Angelus in the ribs. Angelus lands three punches. Spike connects with two. Angelus hits Spike with a right jab. He blocks Spike's right hook. Spike blocks his right hook. Angelus throws Spike on his back. He gets on top of Spike, punches him three times in the face, grabs his stake in his right hand, and goes for the kill. Spike's left hand grabs and holds back Angelus's right forearm.

SPIKE: Far too early for that.

Spike hits Angelus in the nose with two right jabs and tosses Angelus behind him. They both stand up. Angelus puts away his stake.

SPIKE: Your son used to make the same blunder. Before I showed him the error of his ways. I mean, before I showed him the error of his father's ways.

The very thought of Connor taking on Spike as a mentor enraged him. It didn't matter if Spike was lying. The mere notion itself was enough to drive him up the wall. He had no choice but to establish dominance, to prove that Spike's taunts were baseless and absurd. He tries a right kick. Spike moves back. When Spike moves in to try his own attack, Angelus hits him with a right roundhouse kick. He follows this with a right hook. Spike answers with a right jab. Angelus gives Spike a left kick to his stomach and a right uppercut to his chin. Spike tries a left jab. Angelus blocks this, lands left and right punches to Spike's face, and tosses him through the air. Spike gets up.

SPIKE: Uh oh. It appears our hero has taken control. Only a matter of time before the upstart challenger throws in the —

Angelus is right up close to him. He leads with his right, as Spike expected. You lead with your strong hand if you're cocky, and Angelus is always cocky. Spike blocks this punch and lands two of his own. Angelus responds with a kick. But Spike blocks a second kick, grabs Angelus's right ankle in midair, and twists his body around before letting Angelus fall to the ground.

SPIKE: No. It looks like our hero can't finish what he started.

Angelus gets up and charges in. Spike kicks him in the face. Angelus backs up.

SPIKE: I wonder why that is. Don't you?

Faith is out patrolling with Wesley. Kelly tags along.

FAITH: Angel has a son. Baby's kidnapped and raised in a demon dimension by Angel's time-traveling mortal enemy. Connor returns a few days later. He's all grown up. And Angel somehow allows this kid to drop him down to the bottom of the ocean. And while he's sunk, Cordelia leaves this world and becomes an actual angel?

WES: A divine being.

FAITH: And you don't why this was done to her. Or why she returns. Which happens right after you rescue Angel by imprisoning a woman in your closet. I'm sorry. In a cage in your closet.

KELLY: The rest is merely implausible. That part's just sick.

FAITH: He used to work for an organization that likes to put women in cages. Still, I figure there must have been less kinky ways of saving your boss.

WES: My former boss.

FAITH: Of course. You had to become your own man. Part of the whole tough guy makeover. So was it ever your fantasy to lock me in that cage? Pay me back for tying you up and torturing you. Did you ever pretend she was me, just for kicks?

WES: Don't insult yourself.

KELLY: Do all your friends have this bondage fetish?

WES: That's not why I did it.

FAITH: And believe me, nothin' I did to Wes ever turned me on. That's the last thing he makes me think of.

KELLY: I didn't mean erotic. I meant power. It seems like that's all you people care about. Gaining complete control over someone else. Showing you're the dominant one. Making others do what you say.

FAITH: Get down!

Faith pushes Kelly out of the way. A vampire was running at her from behind. Faith hits it with a right jab and a left hook. It throws a right hook, which she blocks. She kicks it in the chest. Another vampire blind-sides Wes, knocking him down. This vampire then kicks Faith from behind. She hits it with a right reverse kick. The vampire in front punches her in the face. Faith grabs the vampire and tosses it into a wall. Two more vampires leap down from the roof of a nearby building. Kelly takes one. Wes takes the other. The vampire rushes Wes. He grabs its left shoulder and tosses the vampire on its back. Wes brandishes a baseball bat. He's shaved the end of the handle so it makes a point. He swings the barrel at the vampire's head. The vampire blocks the blow. Then he swings for the back of the vampire's left leg, tripping the vampire up. Once it is on its back, Wes raises the bat again. The vampire shields its face. Wesley hits it twice in the left knee, then lets the vampire get up. With the bashed left knee, the vampire is not terribly mobile. Wes moves in for the kill. He hits the vampire in the face with the end of the barrel. The vampire hits Wesley in the face with a right hook. Before it can land a left, Wes flips the bat around and stakes it.

WES: Guess that's one thing baseball has over cricket. Its bats make much better weapons.

Kelly hits her vampire with a flying right spin kick, then a left kick to the face. The vampire moves in, blocks Kelly's right jab, and hits her in the face. Kelly retreats. She tries another kick, which the vampire blocks. The vampire socks her in the stomach and grabs her by the hair. When it tries to bite her neck, she punches it in the stomach with her left fist and gouges its left eye with her right thumb. The vampire lets go, and she knocks it down with a right roundhouse kick. At this point, Welsey's killed his vampire, and he's come over to offer assistance.

WES: Need any help?

KELLY: I can handle this guy myself.

It throws a right punch. She ducks and lands a left jab. She grabs her stake with her right hand and goes for the kill. The vampire grabs her right arm, spins her round, and throws her into the wall. It charges in and tries a right punch to her face. Kelly ducks, the vampire's fist hits the wall, and Kelly stakes it. Meanwhile, Faith lands a leaping kick to one vampire's face, knocking it down. She turns to the other and hits it with a left roundhouse kick. The vampire punches her in the face with a right hook. She blocks a left hook, grabs the vampire's arms and throws it on the hood of a nearby car. She tries to stake it, but it blocks her. The other vampire runs at her from behind. Faith turns and levels it with a right hook. She spins back around. The vampire has gotten off the hood and tries a right hook. Faith ducks, avoids the blow and nails the vampire with a left uppercut. It flies back and falls on the car's hood for a second time.

FAITH: Let's try this again.

She stakes it. The other vampire grabs her from behind and tosses her into a light pole. Faith goes down, but trips up the vampire when it tries to take advantage of the situation. Faith gets up and kicks the vampire twice in the face while it is down. She lets it get up, hammers it in the chest with a leaping right kick, and stakes it. She turns around and sees Wes and Kelly standing there.

FAITH: I know I'm the Slayer, but you guys coulda helped with one.

KELLY: We did help.

WES: There were two others.

FAITH: Damm Kelly. Way to work it.

KELLY: I only got one.

FAITH: You mean Wesley did a vamp all by himself?

WES: Odd how you're still in denial about me, while you readily accept —

KELLY: All the crazy things he's told us which he has no proof of.

FAITH: What I can tell you? I'm a skeptic when it comes to things I'm familiar with. Fine. You're a tough guy. Angel's a daddy. Cordy was divine. I'll buy all of it. So if this is your life, what's Buff been up to?

WES: She died. Then she was resurrected a few months later by Willow.

FAITH: Did this happen the same summer Angel and Cordy were gone?

WES: The previous summer.

FAITH: You figure the bad guys would get the message and wait till the summer to go on the warpath.

KELLY: She rose from the dead? Isn't that always a bad thing? You know, unless you're Jesus? Otherwise, don't you come back a zombie, or a vampire, or, I don't know, a mummy?

WES: She came back human. Willow seems to have become an alarmingly powerful witch. Rupert can't be too happy about that.

FAITH: I go into a coma. She dies. B always has to do me one better. Wonder how things are in Sunnydeath. Can't be worse than here.

Wesley's pager starts beeping. He reads the message and looks very concerned.

FAITH: Is it Lindsey?

WES: No. Definitely not Lindsey. Been a long time since I've received this code. Excuse me one moment.

Wesley takes out his cell phone and calls Buffy's house.

WES: Rupert?

GILES: Wesley, I'm glad you called. We have to talk.

WES: Things must be desperate for you to be calling me.

GILES: More confusing that desperate. I need you to answer a few questions about a boy named Connor.

WES: You've met him? You've met Angel's son?

GILES: He's been in town for the past week. We only found out who he is tonight. When Angelus told Buffy.

WES: Oh dear. That's. That's. Thank you for calling. I imagine there is a lot you want explained. I'll walk you through it. Hold on one second. [to Faith and Kelly] We're going back to the hotel. Angelus is in Sunnydale. And so is Connor.

FAITH: Damm. B's in for the shock of her life. This is one night when I would not want to trade places with Blondie.

BUFFY: Willow, you do whatever it takes. I'll keep Angel occupied. Kennedy, watch for ambushes.

WILLOW: Are you sure it was a good idea to leave him alone with Spike? They have issues. To put it mildly. What if Angel killed Spike and escaped? Or what if Angel convinced Spike to go evil again and right now they're off painting the town blood red?

KENNEDY: I didn't know vampires could have children. And why was he raised in another dimension? In that the demon version of sending your kid to Swiss boarding school? I'm sorry, it's just, he's my age, but a couple years ago, when I was a junior in high school, he was a fetus. I can only imagine how the other girls feel. Hitting on your ex-boyfriend's kid!

DAWN: Wow. And here I was, thinking I'd seen it all. That was, wow. Quite a story.

CONNOR: I'm sorry I didn't tell you before.

DAWN: No. Don't be. I would have done the same thing if I had been, well, it's hard to imagine being that.

CONNOR: I was afraid you'd be upset.

DAWN: You're one-and-a-quarter years old. That means I'm twice your age.

Connor pauses for a few seconds to do the math and attempt to figure out the riddle Dawn is posing.

CONNOR: You also grew up in another dimension?

DAWN: No. But I think I might have come from another dimension. Back before I was human.

CONNOR: I don't understand.

DAWN: Connor, there's something you need to know about me. I'm not like other girls.

SPIKE: Always holding back. That's your problem. Too uptight to let go.

ANGELUS: And those cliches actually mean something?

Angelus throws a right hook. Spike moves his head back out of the way. He tries a right jab. Angelus blocks it. Spike lands a left uppercut to Angelus's stomach. Angelus responds with a right cross to Spike's face, then a left roundhouse kick. Spike moves back.

SPIKE: You've never taken a real chance in your whole sodding life.

Dodges Angelus's left jab. Blocks his right kick. Lands a right jab.

SPIKE: No passion. Okay, maybe a little. But it's all the passion of a bloody accountant.

Angelus throws a right. Spike grabs his right arm and pulls it behind his back. Angelus reaches back with his left arm, grabs Spike's collar, and flips him over. Spike hits the ground right in front of Angelus. Spike kicks his legs up and hits Angelus in the face. Angelus backs up. Spike returns to his feet.

SPIKE: You have desire. [kicks Angelus in the chest] You desire Buffy. You desire making me dead. You desire those precious victims you stalk with such self-indulgent precision. But you're not passionate about these things. Not even Buffy. Otherwise you wouldn't be here.

ANGELUS: You're beginning to bore me. I hate boredom.

SPIKE: And yet you're not very big on excitement, either.

Spike moves in. Angelus hits him with a right cross. Spike lands a right hook. Angelus punches Spike in the stomach, kicks him in the face, and wraps his right hand around Spike's throat.

ANGELUS: You should find this exciting, William.

Angelus noticed that ten feet behind Spike is a tree with a branch pointing outwards at just the right height. He throws Spike backwards. Spike reaches his left arm behind him and looks over his shoulder. At the last instant, he knocks down the branch with his left hand, spins around, and goes face-first into the trunk. He turns around laughing.

SPIKE: You do want to kill me. Don't deny it. That was your second serious attempt. So why are you failing? Right. No passion. Back to Buffy. You know how all the great tragic tales of doomed lovers end. Tristan doesn't go back to Ireland and then hop over to England to see Isolde every year or two and talk about how much they wish they could be together. There's a reason it's always murder-suicide. Or suicide-suicide. Otherwise, no one cares. It's meaningless. Nothing but purple prose and dry humping. Shakespeare never wrote about that. All those weepy romantics you said you loved — they'd laugh at you. You always used to talk about yourself as an artist. You are an artist. But you're a bloody hack. You take opera, and turn it into soap opera. You were given the material for Richard Wagner, but it your hands it somehow came out Aaron Spelling. This is why I pity you. Even if they take away the Curse, give you a soul, no-strings-attached. Or if just let you spend eternity like this. You'll still be cursed.

ANGELUS: Are you stalling?

Angelus growls and charges Spike. He grabs hold of Spike. They both go to the ground and roll down a small hill. Angelus ends up on top. He punches Spike twice in the face. Spike pushes Angelus off of him. Spike kicks Angelus in the side of the head. Angelus crawls over to Spike, who's still on his back. Spike grabs Angelus, rolls over and is on top of him. They snarl and growl at each other. Angelus tosses Spike away. They both stand up.

SPIKE: If you weren't so thick, then you'd realize I was explaining why you haven't been able to kill me. Even though I've done plenty to bring you up to a boil. Everything except not holding back. I think I'll try that now.

Spike grunts and charges Angelus, who growls and punches him in the face. Spike grabs Angelus by the collar. He head-butts him in the nose. He puts his left hand on top of Angelus's head, and his right hand under Angelus's chin, as if he were trying to snap Angelus's neck. He was, but he knew Angelus would easily counter this move, so he shoves his right knee into Angelus's stomach and then kicks his right foot into Angelus's left shin. He steps back, then hits Angelus in the face with a left roundhouse kick. Then a right kick. Then left and right punches. Angelus hits Spike with a left jab. Spike answers with a right hook. He grabs Angelus by the ears and tosses him over his shoulder. When Angelus gets up, Spike leaps at him. Angelus clobbers him with a right hook. Spike lands two right jabs. He kicks Angelus in the stomach. Angelus kicks him in the face. He lands a left jab and is about to land a right cross when Spike, charging in despite the fact that he's just been hit twice in a row and is about to get hit a third time, lands four straight punches to Angelus's face. Angelus backs up and lands a right hook. Spike lands a right and then a left hook. Then he puts his right hand on top of Angelus's head and playfully messes up his hair. Angelus prepares to clobber Spike's chin with a right uppercut. While the blow is on its way, Spike grabs Angelus's fist with his left hand, pulls his right arm back and lands a right jab to Angelus's mouth. Spike backs up, circles round Angelus, and laughs.

SPIKE: Great artists have to lose control to create. Take risks. Court disaster. That's why you're a lousy artist. And that's why you can't kill me. You play for the zero-zero tie every time because you're scared to lose. What I just did, that's how you win. It's also how you lose. Five more minutes of that, one of us would be dust. No fun playing if you're not in the game to win.

ANGELUS: Yeah. Sure. You're life's been nothing but fun these past few years.

SPIKE: But it's been MY life. My triumphs. My blunders. My tragedies. My comebacks. My choices. You're just a marionette. Someone's always pulling your strings. Speaking of which, here comes Buffy. Where do you think she went?

ANGELUS: To tell her friends the good news about me and my son?

SPIKE: And then what do you think she did?

ANGELUS: Told Willow to give me back my soul?

SPIKE: Sounds like you planned ahead. I would've expected as much from you.

ANGELUS: You. Buffy. Connor. Willow. Just players on the stage. I'm the director.

SPIKE: I trust you're aware of how persistent Willow is with these matters.

ANGELUS: Persistence is useless when you're dead. Maybe this time I can kill her.

SPIKE: I would LOVE to see that.

ANGELUS: Because when she's at her baddest not even Buffy can take her. I've read the scouting report. I don't like surprises. When I'm the one surprised. But I LOVE them when it's someone else. Especially someone like Willow who desperately needs to be put in her place. Or you.

Punches Spike in the face. Kicks him in the head. Spike throws a right cross, but Angelus grabs his right arm and tosses him to the ground. Spike gets up and lands a right uppercut. Angelus connects with a right jab. He grabs Spike with his left arm and uses his left leg to sweep Spike's right leg. Spike goes down. Before Spike hits the ground, Angelus pulls out his stake in his right hand and goes for the surprise kill. Spike grabs the stake with his left hand. Angleus puts both hands behind the stake in an effort to drive it home. Spike hits him twice in the left eye with his right fist. Angelus pulls back. He is on his knees, on top of Spike. Spike pulls his legs back, and brings them inward so that his feet hit Angelus's ears. He pushes Angelus away. They both stand up. Spike lands a left hook. Angelus responds with a left hook. Spike connects with a left jab. Angelus lands a right cross. By now they're tired and ragged. Also, by now Buffy is right next to them, and outraged. She grabs Angelus and throws him backwards and to the ground. He quickly gets up. Both Spike and Angelus go back to their human faces.

ANGELUS: He started it!

SPIKE: But he tried to finish it. I just wanted to keep him occupied. Pass the time.

BUFFY: You look like you've been fighting to the death.

Spike discreetly puts his stake back in his pocket. Angelus turns to face Buffy. Spike is now behind him.

ANGELUS: Nothing more than rough housing.

Angelus pulls out his stake and throws it over his shoulder. Spike catches it 2 inches in front of his heart. He puts it away with the other stake. Buffy is angry about Angelus's little stunt. He can see that.

ANGELUS: Looks like mommy's going to punish me for picking on poor little William. You two. Look at the two of you. [Buffy and Spike now stand near one another, looking at Angelus] Oh My God! I don't believe it. You're exactly like the couple I met last night. I was at this fancy party, and there was this blonde who looked like Buffy. A pop star. Whiny southern accent. She was with this Irish actor who looked like me. I beat up the actor for mouthing off to me. Suddenly, the blonde Buffy stand-in was all over me. Completely blown away by the fact that I didn't recognize her. I had another girl I wanted to kill more, so I told the blonde to scram. And do you know what she does? She gets with this blonde guy who looks like Spike. Also a pop star. Talks like he thinks he's black. Real joke. But she seemed totally into him. And looking back, I'm sorry I didn't sire them and bring them here to meet you two. Like looking in a fun-house mirror! What a riot that would have been.

Buffy and Spike work through what Angelus has said. Like Cordy, they quickly realize who he might be talking about.

BUFFY: These were famous people, according to you?

ANGELUS: Not according to me. According to Cordy. She couldn't believe I didn't know them. Didn't give me the names of the blondes. Said the actor was named Colin Farrell or something.

BUFFY: Oh God.

SPIKE: Bloody hell! You can't be serious.

BUFFY: You got hit on by Britney Spears? And you rejected her?

SPIKE: That second part certainly does sound implausible, considering your predilections.

ANGELUS: That was Britney Spears!!? Whoa. She doesn't hold up well in person. Maybe she was having a bad hair day or something. You're right. I can't believe I turned her down. Not that I didn't like the other girl better, but just for the status alone. Talk about a trophy score.

BUFFY: You think I look like her? You're just saying that because you're evil, right? And Spike and Justin? That's just not even remotely —

ANGELUS: Who?

SPIKE: So ridiculous it's laughable. And by the way, you don't look like —

WILLOW: You ready? What's all the excitement about?

BUFFY: You don't want to know.

WILLOW: Oh. Personal stuff. Between you THREE. No. I definitely want no part of that.

ANGELUS: Willow! So nice to see you again. And who's this? Hold on. I'm confused. I thought your girlfriend was blonde. And had breasts. What's with the Sappho Slayer getup? That what you're into these days? [Kennedy's pointing a loaded crossbow at his heart] Honey, you look young. Barely legal. Why Willow! Anyway, you obviously have yet to master the tactics of deterrence. You kill me, Willow doesn't get to do her big trick, and you're sleeping on the couch for the next month. Not to mention what Buffy will do to you. If you're like Spike, maybe you'll like that part. But I doubt you're as pathetic as Spike. My point is, you're making a threat you can't carry out. Why bother? Besides, I could rip out your throat before you could pull the trigger.

Willow walks up to Angelus.

WILLOW: Oooh. I'm scared. What are ya gonna do? Sneak into my bedroom and draw me pretty pictures?

KENNEDY: What is it with vampires and leather?

ANGELUS: Why don't you ask Willow?

Kennedy looks confused.

ANGELUS: She knows what I'm talking about.

WILLOW: Funny you mention her, cause if she came back, I think she'd be scared of me this time around. Maybe you should be scared of me as well.

ANGELUS: Oooh. I've made Willow mad. You could flay me alive. Except I'm not alive. Then again, I could just tell you I loved you and take away all your power. I don't fear anything that can be defeated by Xander.

Willow glances at Buffy, who looks dumbfounded. Both of them are spooked. Cordy told Angelus what she noticed while she was omniscient. When Willow looks away, Angelus goes bumpy and grabs her by the shoulders. He tries to bite Willow. She touches his chest with her right palm. He leaps back ten feet. Now Angelus is a little spooked. Willow turns around and walks away, whistling a jaunty tune. Angelus grimaces and looks downwards.

WILLOW: Angel's circumcised.

BUFFY: No he's not. [she puts her hands to her mouth and gasps, then looks a little disgusted. Willow turns around and looks at Angelus.]

WILLOW: Just a preview of what I'll do to you if you keep being so uncooperative.

Kennedy smirks. Spike starts chuckling.

ANGELUS: Wouldn't laugh, Spike. Those women have taken a lot more from you than that.

SPIKE: Willow, I think he's being uncooperative. Maybe you give him another demonstration of your powers.

ANGELUS: I don't think Buffy would like that. Who knows? Maybe someday I'll cross paths with a Shanshu, become human, and she'll finally get to come to LA and do what she wants with me. And to me.

BUFFY: Are you sure you want to call my bluff right now?

ANGELUS: I love it when you hide behind you women, Spikey.

SPIKE: And I love it when you take on your enemies alone, Angie. Sorry. You've never done that. Which makes me wonder why you're stalling.

Willow begins the spell. The orb lights up.

ANGELUS: This is your final warning. Continue, and you'll be sorry. Go ahead. Call MY bluff.

BUFFY: Do you really think you can take us all on by yourself?

ANGELUS: No.

He snaps his fingers. Within a few seconds, 12 vampires appear behind Buffy, Spike, Kennedy and Willow. Kennedy points her crossbow at the one closest to her.

ANGELUS: Careful, Xena. You shoot, they attack, all of you don't make it out alive. Sure would be nice if Oedipus and Othello were still around. Throw them in the mix, and you might have a chance. Too bad I scared them off.

BUFFY: They attack, you die.

ANGELUS: There would be no winners. But there is a way out. You stop with the magic. Me and my boys — and girls — go home. Everyone leaves happy. Willow, if you would?

She tosses him the Orb of Thessala. Angelus catches it, then throws it into Spike's skull, shattering it. He laughs, then snaps his fingers. The 12 vampires walk off and get into 2 stretch limos, which drive away. Willow and Kennedy walk away.

WILLOW: That was easier than I planned.

KENNEDY: He stopped you.

WILLOW: He did the opposite. I can do the spell remotely. But I need recent contact with the target. He just gave me that. I'll fix him in the morning.

KENNEDY: What's the deal between Angel and Spike?

WILLOW: They used to be together.

KENNEDY: Figures. Didn't you sense the tension, the heat between them?

WILLOW: What!? Whoa now. They just traveled together. With their women. They were never, ever together like that. I mean, that's just sick.

KENNEDY: Did they share women? Before they shared Buffy?

WILLOW: They didn't "share" Buffy.

ANGELUS: Been fun, Buffy. You play the wounded ex-lover so well. But I'm sure you have others things to worry about besides me. Speaking of which, I wonder who my son is doing right now? I'd imagine by this point little Dawny should be ripening nicely.

Buffy takes off.

ANGELUS: With her, it's almost too easy.

SPIKE: You're the one who likes 16 year-olds. Your son appears to prefer older women.

ANGELUS: So did I, once upon a time. And so did you. Why haven't you left? Don't you want to comfort confused, wounded, vulnerable Buffy?

SPIKE: The night is still young. And we're not finished.

CONNOR: You had the power to destroy the world? I've never met anyone who could do that.

DAWN: You're missing the point.

CONNOR: Big green ball of world-destroying energy. Put into you.

DAWN: Can you please get past that part? I'm a person.

CONNOR: I know. I never knew that could happen. Stuff you think is real, but it's not. You weren't even born. At least I was — kind of. You were just put there, chosen to be hunted. That's why they ignore you. No one's hunting you. So you don't matter to them anymore. No point staying where you're not wanted. [she looks a bit sad. She doesn't understand why he's saying these awful things.] Hey. Dawn. Don't worry about them. Let's go have some fun.

He takes her hand. They head off. Dawn smiles tentatively.

WES: I can't believe this is happening.

LINDSEY: We'll take my Leer Jet. I can have us on the ground in Sunnydale in 20 minutes.

FAITH: You have a Leer Jet?

GUNN: Those two ain't the types you chase down.

WES: Charles is right. They would elude us. We should wait for Angelus to return. Rupert and the others will try to convince Connor to come back.

LORNE: Just a nagging, unsettling concern. Connor's with — or at least around — Buffy. Daddy's old squeeze. Did you get a sense of how the two of them are getting along?

WES: He hates her.

LORNE: Oh, thank God. Not that hate is good.

FRED: But in this case it's a whole lot better than love.

LORNE: Amen to that, sister.

WES: Spike has a soul. How can that be?

FRED: Who's Spike?

GUNN: Sounds like a dog. Dogs can have souls?

FAITH: He's a vampire. Wait. You're kidding, right?

LORNE: ANOTHER vampire with a soul?

LINDSEY: But right now, wouldn't that make him the only vampire with a soul?

WES: God help us all.

GWEN: Did you say Spike?

WES: You've heard of him?

GWEN: No. Of course not. How would I know about a - ? Just sounds like a funny name for a vampire. [Faith looks at Gwen. She begins to suspect something.] And isn't it odd that the only two vampires with souls both live in Southern California?

LORNE: Are they more of them with souls? Has anyone ever taken a census? If there can be two, why not 20?

FRED: Does this Spike guy also protect the innocent, help the helpless?

WES: Extremely doubtful. They're very different. Why would anyone give Spike a soul?

GUNN: Does he have Angel's soul?

GWEN: That would really awkward. Having someone else's soul. Like having another person inside your body.

WES: It's his own soul. And he got it before Angel lost his.

LORNE: What does Connor think of this ensouled vampire?

WES: Rupert told me that Connor has tried to kill Spike on several occasions.

GUNN, FRED, LORNE: [simultaneously] Figures.

GWEN: Do Spike and Angel know each other?

WES: That would be putting it mildly.

FAITH: Gwen, can I talk to you in my room for a minute?

GWEN: Sure. What about?

FAITH: Guys. A guy. Okay, two guys. Okay, they're not exactly guys.

GWEN: I get your drift. [they leave. Faith has a few questions for Gwen about those two vampires she's been with.]


	18. Angelus in Sunnydale Conclusion: Connor

Giles hangs up the telephone and slowly walks back to the kitchen table. He looks a little spaced-out.

ANYA: Giles? Giles, is something wrong?

GILES: The sun hasn't shone in Los Angeles for weeks. How did we miss this?

XANDER: It's been really cloudy? That's unusual is these parts, but it's no reason to —

GILES: Total darkness.

XANDER: No sunlight. For weeks? How DID we miss that!?

ANYA: How can that happen?

GILES: And it rained fire.

ANYA: Is it vengeance? God's vengeance? He has been out of the game for a while. Maybe He got bored sitting on the sidelines.

Giles sits down. Pours some more Scotch for himself. Pours some for Anya. Xander gets a beer.

XANDER: I don't mean to sound crazy, but aren't those the sorts of things that should happen to us? That is, if they were to happen at all. This is the Hellmouth. WE get the weird stuff.

Willow and Kennedy come into the kitchen through the back door.

WILLOW: No dice. But I'll get him tomorrow.

KENNEDY: I'm gonna go see how the other Potentials are taking this.

Willow sits down at the table.

WILLOW: Okay. I know it's shocking. But why still with the deer-in-the-headlights pose?

GILES: Cordelia is a demon.

Xander gulps. Puts down his beer.

XANDER: Well of course she is. I dated her!

ANYA: You're a retroactive demon magnet.

WILLOW: Even when you don't date demons, they become demons. That's frightening. And to think I almost —

GILES: She became a demon. Then she ascended to a Paradise Dimension and became an omniscient divinity.

ANDREW: She lived as a God? She got to live as a God! You mean that can really happen? Were there harps and dancing?

WILLOW: How can that happen?

ANYA: It's not hard. Just very, very rare. Why would anyone choose to make Cordelia a Higher Being? Out of all the mortals — have the Gods gone crazy?

XANDER: I think by now we know the answer to that question is a big huge Oh Yeah!

GILES: And then she's sent back. And she becomes evil.

XANDER: Once again, why should that surprise anyone? She dated me!

ANYA: I thought she was evil to begin with.

WILLOW: You too?

ANDREW: You mean she's a super-villain?

GILES: In a manner of speaking. She raised a demon of unimaginable destructive power. She caused it to rain fire. She blotted out the sun. She stripped Angel of his soul.

WILLOW: Hold on. Wait a minute. How could she have that much power? And how could she pull it off? This is Cordelia we're talking about! Are you saying she's leading an apocalypse?

ANYA: Sounds like someone's jealous.

WILLOW: She couldn't. No one could do those things on their own. Okay, raining fire's possible. It just takes access to a lot of trans-dimensional energy. I know how to do it. I just chose to burn the whole Earth rather than just one small part.

GILES: Dear Lord, you are jealous.

WILLOW: No I'm not! Just confused. Utterly and completely.

ANYA: So Cordy's a demon witch?

WILLOW: She can't be a witch. She's not bright enough. And anyway, I would have felt her presence. Why didn't I notice any of this?

GILES: I've been asking myself the same question.

XANDER: We have been busy fighting an apocalypse of our own.

WILLOW: It can't be her. Something must be working through her. Using her. What do her friends think of this?

GILES: They think what you're thinking. She fooled everyone. No one suspected a thing until it was too late.

ANDREW: Blotting out the sun? Isn't that a little passe? Mr. Burns did that like seven years ago.

XANDER: So whatever's controlling her is a Simpson's fan?

WILLOW: How do you block the sun?

ANYA: It's actually easier than you would think. In theory, at least. You just have to kill the right immortal demons.

GILES: She killed the 5 members of the Ra-Tet. Or, more likely, the invincible demon she brought forth did the job for her.

ANDREW: She killed Manny!

GILES: I'm sorry. Who?

ANDREW: Manny! The Fifth member. She killed him?

ANYA: You mean Man-Jet?

ANDREW: That's what you call him if you're not his friend. This is so sad.

GiLES: Andrew. Are you trying to tell me you met one of the members of the Ra-Tet?

ANDREW: Jonathan and I hung out with him when we were in Mexico. Manny was so cool. He became our role model.

WILLOW: No offense, but why would some super-powerful Guardian Being hang out with you?

ANYA: Isn't Man-Jet the loser of the group? You know, like the old guy in N Sync? Or Tito?

GILES: The former Yugoslavian strongman?

ANYA: The former Jackson 5 member.

GILES: Of course. Anyway, each member represents an ideal.

ANYA: And Man-Jet could have been the ideal loser.

ANDREW: Manny wasn't a loser. He just had a Zen coolness about him. He was enlightened. Above our petty concerns. You wouldn't understand. I can't believe she killed him.

ANYA: You killed your best friend, and you can't believe someone else could kill a complete stranger?

GILES: And she slept with Angel's child.

WILLOW: Cordelia and Connor?

XANDER: Well of course she did! After all, — No, that doesn't make any sense. Since when did she go for younger guys?

ANYA: See what I mean, Xander. Me and Connor, not incestuous.

GILES: But still extremely disturbing. [downs some Scotch]

ANYA: Cordelia and Connor, that's incestuous. Am I right?

GILES: All too right. She became something of a mother to him when he was an infant.

WILLOW: You mean before he got taken to wherever he was taken to?

GILES: Quor Toth. That's where he went.

ANYA: Are you sure. Quor Toth? Good God!

WILLOW: You've been?

ANYA: No. You think I'm crazy! That's the demon dimension that demons are afraid of. You remember the Mayor? The Ascension? Quor Toth is full of pure demons just like that.

GILES: I've heard similar horror stories. You'll recall that Glory ruled over a particularly nasty demon dimension. Quor Toth is reputed to be even worse.

WILLOW: Oh. Poor Connor.

XANDER: He grew up in a hell dimension? So that thing Buffy died to prevent. The thing that could happen if the Hellmouth ever opened. That was just normal life for him?

GILES: This would explain why he found Sunnydale so underwhelming.

WILLOW: Poor kid. To be a child in such an awful, horrible place. He must have suffered so much. I wish I could hug him and comfort him. Except I know he would try to feel me up. This must be how it started with Cordelia.

ANYA: I still don't understand. There a no portals to Quor Toth from this dimension. For a very important reason.

GILES: There was an incorporeal time-shifting demon. I believe Wesley told me his name was Sah-Jahn.

ANYA: Hold on. I know that guy. He used to hit on me. Vengeance really turned him on. But he was such a loser. "Do you know I invented the International Date Line?" What kind of a pick-up line is that? Or my favorite: "I've seen your future, and I'm in it." Not if I have anything to say about it, pal.

GILES: There was a prophecy that Connor would kill Sah-Jahn.

ANYA: Would this be one of the crackpot prophecies you dismissed? And how can anyone kill an incorporeal demon?

GILES: First, I was right to dismiss the prophecies, because Sah-Jahn altered all of them. Second, he wasn't always incorporeal.

ANYA: I know. He was a badass tough guy back when he had a body. That's why they took it away. And Connor's not even close to strong enough to kill him if he got his body back.

GILES: After Angelus slaughtered Holtz's family, Sah-Jahn appeared before him and offered him a deal. He transported Holtz two centuries into the future.

ANDREW: This story's getting good. A lot better than anything that's happened in Sunnydale. No offense.

GILES: Sah-Jahn wanted Holtz to kill Angelus and Darla before Connor could be born. When Holtz learned Darla was pregnant and Angel had a soul, he changed plans.

ANDREW: Angel destroyed his family. He wanted to pay him back. This is so great!

GILES: He formed a gang of demon hunters and devoted himself to kidnapping Connor. He planned to raise him as his own child in Utah. He managed to take Connor. But then Sah Jahn showed up. He opened a dimensional tear to Quor Toth, and said that if the baby wasn't handed over to him, he would suck the entire world into that hell dimension. With Connor in his arms, Holtz leaped into Quor Toth. Sah-Jahn believed this was good enough, and left.

XANDER: This Holtz guy is unbelievable. He saved the world!

WILLOW: He stole another man's child.

XANDER: A demon's child. But that was the only way. And what kind of a father would Angel have made anyway?

GILES: From what I hear, a very loving and devoted one.

XANDER: You don't get it. That wasn't gonna happen. The demon set it up so that they had to kill the kid to save the world. Holtz saved both. It's just like what Buffy did for Dawn.

GILES: How can you possible believe that! Holtz was no hero. He wasn't even good. From what I've heard, he was borderline psychotic and hell-bent on vengeance.

XANDER: And he raised a kid in Hell. All by himself. A human being. No special powers. Taking care of a baby. Defending it from demons we can't imagine. Okay, Connor's a little odd in the head. But considering what we now know, it's a miracle he turned out as normal as he is.

Giles starts laughing.

GILES: Holtz was very persuasive, especially towards the weak-minded. He created a sort of cult, where desperate people pledged their lives to him and followed him blindly, doing anything he told them to.

XANDER: Are you calling me weak-minded?

GILES: No. Absolutely not. I'm just presenting an indisputable fact.

XANDER: This guy travelled across the centuries to give Angel what he deserved. But then, instead of doing to Angel's child what Angel did to his kids, he raises that child so that Angel can be with him one day. That's not vengeance. That's forgiveness. It's love. He's like the father I always wish I could have had.

ANYA: Sounds like Giles. With attitude. Was he also ruggedly handsome?

GILES: I wouldn't know. You'd have to ask Wesley. Holtz had Wesley's throat cut. Part of his "campaign of love."

XANDER: I'm sure Wesley did something to deserve it.

GILES: It was vengeance pure and simple. He raised Connor to hate Angel, so that one day he could kill his father. He knew that Angel had a soul, and that Angel was good. Therefore, he knew that Angel could suffer. Holtz was a man so completely overcome by vengeance that he could not tell the difference between right and wrong.

ANDREW: Wow! I've never met someone whose life was so mythical. I thought he was Anakin. The power. The rage. Growing up in a bad place. But this part is more like Luke at the end of "Empire."

XANDER: What happened? Why didn't he kill Angel?

GILES: Because he wanted to punish his father. Holtz had himself killed by two puncture wounds to his neck. Connor assumed it was Angelus. He went after his father — who loved him more than anything — ambushed him, trapped him in a metal box, and sent that box to the bottom of the ocean. Angelus was trapped for more than 100 days before being rescued.

XANDER: Does Connor still have the box? I mean, we could always try it on Spike. Keep him out of the way until the First is vanquished. Just to be on the safe side.

WILLOW: How long do you ground a kid for something like that?

GILES: Angel, being Angel, forgave his son. Then the calamities began. Angel agreed to have his soul taken away by a shaman so that he could better fight the indestructible demon, which they called the Beast.

ANYA: Their big bads have even lamer names than our big bads.

GILES: The Beast seemed to take special joy in hurting Connor. The last time they fought, Connor landed face-first on the pavement after being thrown from a window 80 feet up. With the sun gone, innumerable vampires descended on Los Angeles. More than he — or anyone — could fight alone.

WILLOW: Then he really did come here for a vacation.

GILES: That would appear to be the case. I'd imagine he was also trying to escape his father. Angel is stronger than Connor, and Angelus would take great pleasure in tormenting his child.

ANDREW: But instead his father's memory follows him. And then his father follows him. He can never escape his parent's shadow.

Buffy enters the kitchen.

BUFFY: Where's Dawn!?

WILLOW: What do you mean?

BUFFY: She's not in her room.

XANDER: Oh no. That can't be good.

GILES: Buffy, there's a few things I need to tell you about Connor and Angel.

BUFFY: Too late for talking.

Buffy runs out the back door.

GILES: Did I mention that Faith's on the loose?

XANDER: Just when things couldn't get any worse.

GILES: She's been paroled. Faith is in Los Angeles. Working with Wesley. She's reformed.

WILLOW: She must be really reformed. Cause Faith didn't like working with Wesley even before she was evil.

GILES: Wesley may have changed. He certainly sounds different. Faith's arrival means that when Connor goes back to Los Angeles, he won't have to fight alone. He'll have a Slayer helping him.

XANDER: You want to send him back. I'm all for that. But in case you haven't noticed, he doesn't like Slayers.

ANYA: He doesn't like Buffy.

WILLOW: We'll just tell him Faith is the exact opposite of Buffy.

XANDER: And then he'll probably sleep with her. Connor seems to have a thing for the women I've been involved with.

CONNOR: Wanna go to the Bronze? That's what I wanted us to do.

DAWN: I'd like that.

CONNOR: We never got to do anything after the vampire hunting. You always had to run home.

DAWN: I always wanted to spend time with you without vampires getting in the way.

CONNOR: You know what I like about being with you? You make me feel human. You treat me like a person. People always look at me funny, like there's something wrong with me. Like they're scared of me. You're the first one to look past what I am. To care about who I am.

DAWN: I know the feeling. The funny looks. The fear. It's nice when that stuff doesn't matter. It's nice not feeling alone.

They enter the Bronze. Sarah Slean is on stage. Dawn's not sure where she goes from here.

DAWN: Wanna, uh, dance?

CONNOR: I don't. I mean, I haven't.

"Duncan" starts playing. Dawn glances at the stage, mouths the words "Thank you."

DAWN: I think you can do this one.

Connor glances around, then smirks. He's caught on.

CONNOR: Doesn't look so bad.

She puts her arms around his shoulders. He puts his arms around her waist. They inch closer and closer. Connor forgets about all the calamities that occurred earlier in the evening. He puts Angelus and Buffy and Spike out of his mind. For the first time, he feels like what his parents were and who they knew didn't matter. Dawn wasn't in the mood to question her bizarrely good fortune. She didn't think much at all about the Angel connection. No point letting her sister's past actions ruin her fun. She notices a bruise to the outside of Connor's right eye.

DAWN: Connor? Do you like it better when you do the fighting before we go out? You know, instead of during?

CONNOR: This is more fun than fighting.

DAWN: It's nice spending time with you when I don't have to fear for my life.

Dawn worries the joke might have come out wrong.

CONNOR: Thanks Dawn. For making it all go away.

He kisses her. Kit's sitting in back near the stairs. Carlos sits down at her table.

CARLOS: You see Eddie (Edgar) and Lacey? When did that happen?

KIT: Friday. Old news. Want something new? Look over there. Check out Dawn.

CARLOS: Well. That's a surprise. Who's she sucking face with? That's Connor, right?

KIT: Yeah.

CARLOS: When did she tell you?

KIT: She didn't. She hasn't. Said she was staying in tonight.

CARLOS: Seems like everyone's hooking up but us. Excuse me. I think I see Denise.

Carlos takes off.

CARLOS: Denise! Hey. You made it. Haven't seen you since your double victory yesterday.

DENISE: You did pretty well yourself.

CARLOS: Well, fourth is my best finish ever in a meet, but it's not exactly something I'd go around bragging about. Especially to someone who could beat me running backwards.

DENISE: Yeah, well, we all know you're not on the team to run. You're just there cause I need someone funny to play cards with in between heats.

CARLOS: You're with Clarence tonight?

DENISE: We were just talking.

CLARENCE: Yeah. I get the hint. Don't do anything I would do.

Clarence walks over to the bar to get something to drink. Kit's standing near the edge of the dance floor, looking around. Clarence comes over.

CLARENCE: What's up Kit?

KIT: Hey Clarence.

CLARENCE: Looks like it's Charlie's lucky day.

KIT: So Denise won't be issuing a restraining order? Way to go Carlos.

CLARENCE: Catch ya later, Kit.

Clarence goes over to talk to some other people. A young man named Elijah cautiously approaches Kit. He's about her height, thin, with floppy blonde hair and pale blue eyes. He's wearing black Converse sneakers, black jeans and a black Tool t-shirt.

ELIJAH: Hi. [Kit turns around. Elijah smiles shyly.] I'm Elijah. Caitlin's friend. Nice show.

KIT: Yeah. She's pretty good.

ELIJAH: I saw you with Caitlin at the Cat Power show, right?

KIT: No. I didn't go to that one.

ELIJAH: Oh. Sorry. You moved here last year, I think?

KIT: From Pasadena.

ELIJAH: Have you noticed that there's a certain unexplainable oddness in this town?

KIT: I've seen a thing or two that's made me wonder.

ELIJAH: I've lived here most of my life, but I've only started to notice stuff recently. You don't pick it up when you're younger. Guess the weirdness is demographically specific. But I just was bringing this up cause on my way in here tonight I noticed what appeared to be two corpses on the ground. No police. No sirens. No yellow tape. No people standing around looking shocked. Everyone acted as if nothing was wrong. Like everything was normal.

KIT: Look on the bright side. Imagine how much scarier it would be if the corpses started moving and talking.

ELIJAH: Cute. Always nice to be sane enough to joke about these things. It's not the death that bothers me. Death is natural. It's the nobody noticing that's unnatural. I'm scared of people who don't notice the obvious. Like, earlier tonight, I saw this dealer working the room. No fear of being caught. Took some people outside, came back in, took more people outside. And he did this like four or five times. You figure the police — who are like a half-mile away — would pick up on someone operating in the open like this was Amsterdam or something.

KIT: You sure he was a drug dealer?

ELIJAH: The only kinds of people who can get away with wearing that much leather are rock stars, pimps and drug dealers. Didn't have enough jewelry to be a pimp. And no rock star would have his "Remember the 80s" hair. Looked like he was going for the Andrew Dice Clay look.

Angelus would kill Elijah slowly and painfully if he heard him say that.

KIT: You spy on people like this all the time?

ELIJAH: I was bored, looking around, waiting for the show to start. This guy was hard to miss. [pauses, tries to think of a new topic] Good show. She's a good performer.

KIT: Yeah.

ELIJAH: People compare her to Sarah MacLachlan. Since there both Canadians and sound kinda similar. I don't think she's that bland.

KIT: You don't like Sarah MacLachlan?

ELIJAH: I like women with an edge.

KIT: Really. Is that why you're talking to me?

ELIJAH: You mean I'm that obvious?

KIT: You'd be more obvious if you asked me to dance.

The song ends. Connor and Dawn stop kissing.

DAWN: Wow. That was a good, a very good, dance.

CONNOR: Yeah. It sure was. You're a really good, dancer. You okay?

DAWN: My legs are just a little wobbly. [she smiles. Connor smiles back.] We should find a place to sit down. And talk.

CONNOR: It would be nice to get off my feet.

SPIKE: The birds looked nice. They yours?

ANGELUS: Would I trust them if they weren't?

SPIKE: The Asian girl. She looked Thai to me. 

ANGELUS: That's where Tina's parents are from.

SPIKE: I think the redhead was flirting with me.

ANGELUS: Enough inane small talk. What do you want?

SPIKE: To see you out of town. Not stupid enough to let you kill any more townies.

ANGELUS: Don't worry, boy scout. I've had my fill.

SPIKE: With you, it's always play before work. Cuz the work always turns out so badly. Have to get your fun in before your enemies find you out.

Angelus is walking back to his car.

ANGELUS: I had no idea you missed me this much.

SPIKE: What are you going to do when you return home? Kill. Feed. The usual. Doesn't that bore you?

ANGELUS: Back to the beginning. You started playing this record a long ago.

SPIKE: Your glory days are behind you. You have no one to share spoils with. What keeps you going? Can't be novelty.

ANGELUS: Same thing that's always kept me going.

SPIKE: Your victims.

ANGELUS: Angel called them his friends. Plus, and you'll like this part — there's a Slayer in LA.

SPIKE: You mean the anti-Buffy?

ANGELUS: That's what makes her wonderful. Plus the fact that Angel changed her life, made a good woman out of her. Means she can't ever bring herself to kill me.

SPIKE: You never perform without a safety net. And yet you have so many regrets.

ANGELUS: You're talking about yourself.

SPIKE: If you had to live your life over again, would you do everything the same way?

ANGELUS: Up until that gypsy woman.

SPIKE: That's the rub. Angelus or Angel, you always have your regrets.

ANGELUS: And you don't?

SPIKE: No. I'd do everything the same. That's how it is when you get to be your own man. No one to credit but yourself. No one to blame but yourself. You'll never know that feeling. Because your choices are never your own. But you do have one thing over Angel. Unlike him, you know you don't have soul.

ANGELUS: Well, dummy, that's because he knows he has one.

SPIKE: Angel doesn't have a soul. He has a conscience. Right over wrong. Good over evil. That's not what a soul's about. You could program a robot to tell the difference. That's what you are. A robot. And every now and then, someone switches you from good to evil, or from evil to good. To get a soul, you need to have free will first. And you'll never have that. All you are, all you'll ever be, is a sad bloke who does what someone else tells him to do. And the saddest thing is you don't mind.

ANGELUS: You chose to be Buffy's helper, her Xander-with-fangs? You used to do whatever it took to get what you wanted. I know this isn't what you wanted. Why do you accept it?

SPIKE: Because of something you're not too familiar with: progress. See how Buffy felt about me a year ago. Or two years ago. Or three years ago. Or six months ago. Things have improved exponentially. At this rate, six months from now, well, you won't walk so proud or talk so loud. Nice wheels, by the way. Don't remember red being your color.

ANGELUS: You still can't see it. Or you can, but you're too afraid to admit it. Your life fell apart because you couldn't kill Buffy. She took everything away from you. Then she turned you into what she wanted you to be. The only way you can win, the only way you'll ever be free, is if you kill her. That's what you came to Sunnydale to do. She is your curse. Only way to break the curse is to break her. Deep down, you know I'm right. Happy groveling.

Angelus gets in his car and zooms off, leaving Spike standing in his dust. Spike laughs. Angelus hadn't noticed that Cordy put her Queen C license plates on the car. Angelus felt it was a good night. He had 11 kills right under Buffy's nose, including 5 sires. And he knew those chickens would soon come home to roost. Then of course there was Connor — Angelus's unwitting accomplice. He knew Connor would be a thorn in Buffy's side.

Buffy ran to Connor's house. No one was home. She ran to the Bronze. She enters, looking around for Dawn. Then she sees a truly awful sight. Dawn and Connor are sitting on a couch, making out. Buffy is ready to kill him.


	19. Dawn Goes Home With Connor

BUFFY: Hi Dawn. Everyone's been worried about you.

Dawn and Connor stop kissing when they hear Buffy's voice. Connor takes his left hand off her right thigh. Then he looks at Buffy and grabs Dawn's right hand. Almost like he's daring her to stop him.

BUFFY: Why didn't you tell someone you were going out?

DAWN: I though they were busy, you know, saving the world or something. You don't have to worry about me getting attacked. I'm safe with Connor.

Connor raises his eyebrows and gives Buffy bemused half-smile. She's seen that look before from Angel. Buffy thinks Connor is intentionally mimicking Angel in order to provoke her. Connor just thinks he's provoking Buffy by being himself.

BUFFY: It's late. It's a school night. Time for you to go home.

Buffy grabs Dawn's left hand and pulls her up to her feet. Her right hand holds onto Connor's right hand for a moment before Connor lets go. He stands up. Buffy lets go of Dawn and thrusts her right hand against his chest. She shoves him into one of the balcony's support columns. She pushes his sternum and rib cage inwards. He finds it is hard for him to breathe. If Buffy did this to a regular person, she would have broken several ribs by now. Like when she tried to perform CPR on Joyce when she found her mother dead on the couch. Buffy's thoughts keep going back to Connor's mother biting Joyce. This boy came from an evil woman. And he appeared to love his mother. At first, Connor chuckled. Then he starts to look a little scared. Spike is scared of Buffy. Angelus appeared to also be scared of her. And Connor can't take either of them.

BUFFY: Connor, go back to Los Angeles and stay the hell away from my sister. There are people in LA who want to work with you. That's no longer the case in Sunnydale. Thank you for helping me. Your work here is done. Now do me a favor and hold your arms straight out to the side.

Connor doesn't know why she was asking this, but for once he isn't in the mood to be defiant. Not only did Buffy not like him. She appeared to have it in for his family. Mom died in Sunnydale. And Connor had figured out that when Angel told him "one summer my girlfriend sent me to Hell for 100 years," he was talking about Buffy. Connor does as he is told.

BUFFY: Thank you.

Buffy takes her right hand off Connor's chest. While his arms are stretched out, she pounds him in the heart with a left jab. Connor groans and grabs his chest in pain. Dawn is angry with Buffy for this gratuitous abuse. Connor disappears out the rear exit. Buffy walks over to Dawn, grabs her right arm, and starts to take her out the front exit. Dawn digs in her heels and struggles to free her arm.

DAWN: You don't have the right.

BUFFY: I'm your sister. And I'm your legal guardian.

DAWN: Technically, you were until the day I turned 16. Don't you remember getting that letter about me being legally emancipated?

BUFFY: Sorry. I was probably busy that day saving your life.

DAWN: I'm going with Connor.

BUFFY: Going where? Oh no you don't. You think I'll let that happen?

Dawn turns around. Buffy grabs her arm.

DAWN: Touch me and I'll scream. You wouldn't want to create a scene.

BUFFY: Dawn, I love more than anything. I am only trying to look out for you. This is nuts. You just met him. You can't trust him. He doesn't care about you.

Those last two remarks Buffy sincerely believed. She knew about Cordy and Anya. She saw how Connor shamelessly flirted with the Potentials.

DAWN: And I'm too young and he's too old. Like you're in any position to make that argument. Don't punish me for your mistakes.

With the exception of when she believed her world was a delusion, Buffy had never hit Dawn before. This last comment nearly made her slap Dawn. But Dawn runs away before Buffy gets the chance.

BUFFY: Fine. Guess I can't stop you from making your own mistakes.

Buffy walks out the front door. In her mind she had tried to do the right thing. It wasn't because of who Connor's parents were. It was because of who Connor was. Buffy thinks Connor will use Dawn, discard her and hurt her. Buffy only wants to look out for her kid sister's best interests. Dawn doesn't see it that way. She believes Buffy won't let her choose to date Connor because Buffy chose to date Angel. Dawn thinks that's unfair to both her and Connor.

Connor's most of the way home when he smells Dawn approaching. He runs towards her scent.

DAWN: You left before I got the chance to say "Wait up."

CONNOR: I thought you belonged at home, with your family.

DAWN: I belong with you.

Connor's pleasantly shocked by this declaration. Dawn kisses him and they head over to his place.

WES: Thank you for the update, Rupert.

GILES: And thank you for taking good care of Faith. I know you're no longer part of the Council, but seeing as how the Council itself is no longer part of the Council, perhaps you'd like to re-affiliate. As a Watcher Emeritus or something. Men with your training are at a premium these days.

WES: Thank you. I'm flattered by the offer, Rupert. However, I don't see how I will find the time to help you battle your apocalypse while I am busy battling an apocalypse of my own.

GILES: Fair enough. My mind just keeps coming back that to your dilemma last year. That prophecy you read. The one you confirmed by talking to the hamburger. I still can't quite picture that.

WES: It's something I have tried mightily to put behind me. The whole tragedy. Not just the animated talking plastic.

GILES: Of course. It was an dreadful predicament. I know how hard it is when prophecies make awful predictions about people you care about. You were right in not telling Angel. However – and I'm only saying this based on my experience and my own past mistakes – I would not have taken the prophecy literally.

WES: You would have known it was a forgery?

GILES: Certainly not. I would have assumed it was authentic, just as you did. But a prophecy can never be taken at face value. They're riddles meant to trick the reader. The obvious interpretation is never the correct one.

WES: You know what they say about hindsight.

GILES: I'm not second-guessing you. I am merely trying to give you the benefit of my experience. When you were with the Council, you were too brilliant, too talented. No one, no matter how qualified on paper, should be sent out into the field that early in their career. If I had been sent into that situation at your age, I would have also failed. And I probably wouldn't have recovered as well as it appears you have. Just remember, whenever you have to make the big decisions, that you don't know everything. Just as I don't know everything. I've found that helps put things in perspective.

WES: I recently fought a creature I knew nothing about. And an old friend of mine is possessed by a demon I know nothing about. So I'm well aware of the limits of my knowledge.

They each hang up.

XANDER: One nagging question. How did Angel have sex without going evil? He's still Cursed, right? Please tell me he's cursed.

SPIKE: He didn't love her. Angelus never loved Darla. He couldn't love anyone but himself. Angel could care about Darla. I'm sure he cared about her a lot. But he could never love something impure.

WILLOW: Looking back, I can't believe we didn't notice the physical resemblance.

ANYA: Same dark good looks. Same powers. Same house. Both spend their time fighting evil. How DID we miss that?

XANDER: Because no one thought it was possible. And yes, it really bothers me now how much that little bastard looks like Angel. And you slept with him!

ANYA: He only looks vaguely like Angel. The physique and bone structure are completely different.

SPIKE: He looks like his mother. The outline, the broad brush strokes, they're from his father. The details come from his mother. It's amazing – and moderately unsettling – how much his face looks like hers.

GILES: Interesting point. Since I never saw Darla's human face, I'm in no position to compare. But it makes sense. His features are far more delicate than Angel's.

SPIKE: Did you tell that guy on the phone that Angelus has left the Hellmouth?

GILES: I did. And thank you for escorting him out of town.

SPIKE: When was the first time you heard that speech?

GILES: What speech?

SPIKE: The one you just gave on the perils of youthful hubris. As someone who's also been on both sides of that conversation, I was just wondering when you were first given it?

Giles grimaces, takes off his glasses and cleans them.

GILES: Spike, I am not going to relate to you, or bond with you. Ever.

SPIKE: Angelus was a lot more polite than you. Not good when you lose the etiquette sweepstakes to a soulless mass murderer.

GILES: Soulless mass murderers can be great at tolerating fools.

SPIKE: Well aren't you the queen bitch tonight.

Giles was upset Robin didn't make him part of his plan to kill Spike. He could have kept Buffy busy patrolling while Connor and Robin finished Spike off. Since returning to town, he's seen Spike as a ticking time bomb. And he certainly does not trust Spike around all that Potential Slayer blood.

FAITH: Come clean, G. You did Spike. Back before he had a soul. Not that I blame ya. I met him once. I understand. Nothing to be ashamed of. So did you? Do Spike?

GWEN: English. Platinum-blonde hair. Surly, but sensitive once you call his bluff?

FAITH: I'll take that as a yes. Sensitive?

GWEN: Spike's a sweetie. If he respects you, that is. Made me think that if he didn't have soul, maybe all those jerks and pigs I'd known my entire life didn't really have one as well. Course back then I didn't really believe in souls.

FAITH: Back when? You're pretty young. I hope you weren't jailbait. Like some girls I know. [gratuitous and predictably unfair and hypocritical Buffy dig]

GWEN: I was 19. Hardly naive. We had some fun. Nice weekend. Went our separate ways. No regrets.

FAITH: No regrets? Wish I could say that about most of my flings. How was he? I mean, seeing as I'm somebody who's never boinked the undead, but, you know, has from time to time been a little curious.

GWEN: He was great.

FAITH: Thanks for the scouting report, G. Now on to conquest number two. I'm thinking it's Angel.

After hearing about Connor, Faith concluded that Angel can have recreational sex without losing his soul.

GWEN: It wasn't. It was Angelus. [Faith looks more than a little shocked] But I didn't know. Last time I had seen him he was good. And he acted normal. Then afterwards he tried to kill me.

FAITH: He turned evil only after you boinked him? Not the first time that's happened.

GWEN: And I had no idea Angelus knew Spike. Which is hilarious, because when he was attacking me I told Angelus that the other vampire I slept with was better.

FAITH: You were just saying that to hurt the evil guy's feelings, I take it?

GWEN: Well, yes. But it was also the truth.

Faith looks very shocked.

FAITH: Spike was better than Angel?

GWEN: Yeah. When I told him he was second best, Angelus got all hurt, like I had popped his ego with a pin. Once he heard that, he lost heart and left. Imagine how much worse he would have felt if I told him it was Spike! And Angelus doesn't take criticism very well at all. I think that may be his Achilles' Heel.

FAITH: Angel wasn't good?

GWEN: He was great. Spike was better. Spike's a loser, so he tries harder. Angelus isn't very giving. With him it's just "me, me, me." Thinks because he's God's Gift he doesn't have to be creative.

FAITH: Spike's better? I never woulda guessed that in a million years. You sure know how to pick em. When it comes to lovers you more than make up for in quality what you lack in quantity. You're probably the only human woman to have those two. Congrats, G.

Faith of course is wrong. Perhaps someday Gwen and Buffy can compare notes. Then again, that would just give Buffy the wiggins of a lifetime.

VI: What did Angel look like?

AMANDA: Does he look anything like Spike?

KENNEDY: They're both pale, but that's about it. Angel's taller, bulkier, black hair, black clothes. Leather pants. Guess that's a vampire thing.

MOLLY: So who's hotter?

KENNEDY: You know I'm the last person who should be judging that. I don't know. Probably Angel.

AMANDA: So that's how it works. We get to turn the hot vampires into our pets.

VI: You mean our playthings. Do we know if there are other, younger vampires with souls?

RONA: Does Angel look like Connor?

KENNEDY: Kind of. But not really. The faces and the bodies are very different. I can't say anything about their personalities, since Angel was evil, and he's probably different when he's good.

MADARI: I find it odd that they used to know each other. Spike and Angel.

Spike walks from the kitchen through the living room and out to the front hall.

KENNEDY: There definitely was something between them. Maybe like a Batman and Robin thing.

Spike instinctively goes bumpy, turns around, steps towards the Potentials and growls. They shriek. Spike's face goes back to normal. Some of the Potentials are still shaking.

KENNEDY: Did I say Batman and Robin? What I really meant was Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. With you as the Sundance Kid. The one Paul Newman played.

Spike likes this comparison better.

SPIKE: Paul Newman? You don't say? Always thought of myself as more of a Steve McQueen kind of guy, but I'll take it.

KENNEDY: Did you and Angel ever share a woman in the old days? I don't know. A tall brunette with big brown eyes?

SPIKE I didn't "share" her, and how do you know about – ? Oh. Right. The movie. Funny one, Kenny.

Spike goes out and sits down on the front porch. He had never thought of that movie as an allegory for his own lawless adventures in the late-19th century.

Buffy walks up to the front door. She sees Spike on the porch.

SPIKE: You look troubled.

Buffy walks past him without saying a word, opens the door, then walks down the hallway into the kitchen, where Willow, Xander, Anya and Giles are sitting.

WILLOW: Buffy what's wrong? I mean, in addition to the obvious.

BUFFY: Dawn's with Connor. [Xander and Willow gasp]

GILES: And by with, you mean they're hunting vampires together, like before? [he's hoping against hope]

BUFFY: I mean. [Buffy gulps. These words are gonna hurt] She's spending the night with him.

GILES: Oh dear. Does she not know?

BUFFY: She knows.

XANDER: And it doesn't bother her!?

GILES: And you didn't stop her?

BUFFY: I tried. I'm not in the mood to drag my sister home kicking and screaming. Trust me. That's what it would have taken.

XANDER: We have to go over there and bring her back, right? Before she – oh God. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. It's all Angel's fault. Why couldn't he just keep it in his pants?

BUFFY: Giles, what did you find out?

GILES: Plenty. Where do you want me to begin?

BUFFY: When did Darla come back?

Buffy spits out the word "Darla" with extreme contempt.

GILES: Near the end of 2000.

BUFFY: When was Connor born?

GILES: November 2001.

Buffy closes her eyes and grimaces. She exhales, turns around and walks out the back door. With her right fist, she smashes the patio railing. She stomps on the stairs leading from the patio to the grass, shattering them to splinters. She turns round and puts her left fist through the patio deck itself. She she turns around and walks to the back of her yard. Everyone in the kitchen heard the noises.

WILLOW: I think I'll go check on Buffy.

Willow walks outside. She notices the damage, and gingerly approaches Buffy.

WILLOW: I know all this must hurt you. And if you need someone to talk to, or yell at, or use as a punching bag, I'm here.

BUFFY: Right before my mother died. That's when he did her.

WILLOW: So that's why you're mad?

BUFFY: Sleeping with a soulless demon, I can forgive that. How could I not? Not telling me? I understand. But you shouldn't be able to fool the person you love. The person who loves you more than she's ever loved anyone. He came, and he comforted me, and for a few hours it was like old times. Like nothing had changed. Like he hadn't just screwed the monster who bit my mother and tried to shoot me down like a dog. He hid that from me, and I didn't know he was hiding anything. If I had seen him after I had slept with Spike, I would hardly be able to look Angel is the face. I would have been ashamed. Even if I didn't tell him, he would know something was bothering me. You can't hide that sort of thing from the person you love, the person you love more than anyone else in the world, unless you – I don't know. Unless you think they're a sap, some kid who's too naive to notice stuff like that. Could you have hidden something like that from Tara?

WILLOW: Buffy, he didn't want to hurt you.

BUFFY: Aren't you listening!? I'm not mad because he didn't tell me. I'm mad because I couldn't figure out something was bothering him. Unless it wasn't. Maybe he didn't feel guilty.

WILLOW: I'm sure he did. Angel would never want to hurt you. Giles said Wesley told him around that time Angel went through a rough patch. He even gave up fighting evil for a little while.

BUFFY: He has a crisis of confidence and doesn't even bother to talk about it with me? That just makes it even worse. When I saw if after I came back, I told him how I didn't feel like going on, being the hero, saving the world again. How now that left me hollow. Would have been nice if he shared some of his own experiences from when he thought of throwing in the towel. That's what you do when you love someone. You sympathize. You try to help. You don't act all affectionate and loving and not share any of your real feelings with the person.

WILLOW: Maybe Angel thought it would have been a bit tasteless for him to whine about his own problems. Considering how they paled in comparison to yours.

BUFFY: He thinks he can get away with anything. He thinks he can do whatever he wants, hide whatever he wants from me and get away with it. Because no matter what happens, I'll always welcome him back with open arms. And the scary thing is he's right.

WILLOW: I know Angel would never think that.

BUFFY: Why shouldn't he? It's true, isn't it?

WILLOW: Angel could never think that because he respects you.

BUFFY: Okay. But I believe it.

WILLOW: Buffy, please. Don't beat yourself up. You've done nothing wrong. None of this is your fault. Tell you what. I'm going to give Angel back his soul tomorrow. Then Angel and come down her and take Connor home. Then you and Angel can talk and work out whatever needs working out.

BUFFY: Promise?

WILLOW: I promise.

BUFFY: The part about Connor leaving?

WILLOW: I think he'll want his kid back. [Buffy manages a tiny smile]

BUFFY: Thanks for talking with me, Willow. But right now I'd like to go back to being alone for a few minutes.

WILLOW: I understand. All things considered, you're handling everything remarkably well. Lesser people would have had multiple nervous breakdowns by now.

Inside, while Willow and Buffy are talking, Giles is troubled by something.

GILES: That heretic Watcher who founded the Holtz cult made that baseless prediction about Holtz returning, and his return presaging the destruction of the Council itself. I know the man who wrote that piffle had no idea what he was talking about. But Holtz did return. And within a year the Council headquarters were destroyed.

XANDER: You think Holtz's return triggered the First?

ANYA: I thought Buffy's resurrection triggered the First?

XANDER: Let's think about this. Holtz returned because Angel was about to become a father. So Angel sleeping with Darla triggered the First. And Angel slept with Darla before Buffy died, so Angel also killed Buffy!

Xander loves a good Angel-centric conspiracy theory.

GILES: That just has to be the dodgiest thing I have ever heard. Worse than any of Andrew's insipid blatherings. Angel and Holtz and Connor and the Beast and Cordelia have nothing to do with the First Evil. Their lives have nothing to do with ours.

ANYA: Until Connor came here.

GILES: Right. Until Connor came here. And Faith came to Los Angeles. But our respective calamities are not at all related. I can assure you of this.

ANYA: What if, like, the apocalypse in LA happens before the one in Sunnydale? Will the First feel jealous? Will it try to stop the Big Bad in LA so that the First gets to do its thing? I don't see how the First could be preparing for this big moment since the beginning of time and then sit back and let some upstart steal its thunder.

XANDER: Battle of the Big Bads. I like it.

Willow enters.

GILES: How is she?

WILLOW: How do you think? She needs a little alone time.

GILES: Understandable. I just can't believe Dawn would run off with that boy.

XANDER: I always knew there was something sinister about Connor.

WILLOW: His mother tried to kill Dawny's mother. Doesn't that bother Dawn?

ANYA: I think you're all blind to the obvious. Their families are mortal enemies. How can they NOT become lovers? It's just like "Romeo and Juliet." Except the parents die and the kids live.

XANDER: His dad slept with her sister.

WILLOW: Her sister's still in love with his dad.

XANDER: Buffy's what!? He's evil!

WILLOW: She loves Angel. The guy with the soul.

XANDER: I thought she said "loved." You know – past tense! There was that whole speech.

ANYA: I don't remember a speech.

Willow and Xander both turn away and look nervous, since the speech in question was why Buffy had resolved to kill Anya.

GILES: I hate to say it, but things were so much easier when Dawn was attracted to ACTUAL vampires.

WILLOW: Right. The kind we can kill.

XANDER: We can kill Connor. You know, after we tell him "get your hands off her and leave town, or we'll kill you." I mean, if he refuses.

ANYA: People, you seem to be forgetting about the whole miracle child thing they have in common. We all complain about Dawn's whining. We all know Dawn desperately needs someone who pays attention to her and isn't undead or using a love spell. And Connor needs someone his own age. He's been hurt by the vagaries of adult relationships. I didn't help that he lost his virginity to an evil demon. My point is you should all get over yourselves.

Buffy comes round to the front yard and sits on the porch near Spike.

BUFFY: Thanks for watching after Angel when I left.

SPIKE: We had a lot of catching up to do.

BUFFY: You can come back. To the house. I'd like it if you did.

SPIKE: We've had this conversation. I'm sure that's not what's on your mind right now.

BUFFY: I'm sorry about what happened tonight with Robin. All of it. That he tried to kill you. That he won't ever talk to me again.

SPIKE: Are you sorry about why he'll never talk to you again. Are you sorry about what happened between us?

BUFFY: Some of it. Most of it. But not all of it. Not the parts where we were able to fool ourselves about we had.

SPIKE: You only liked it when it was an illusion?

BUFFY: That's the best part of most relationships.

SPIKE: Maybe I'm the wrong person for you to be chatting with right now. I happen to be something of an interested party in this matter. Might be tempted to take advantage of the situation.

BUFFY: Dawn's spending the night with Connor.

SPIKE: That would be a situation I have no interest in taking advantage of. So Angelus was right. I figured that was only wishful thinking on his part. This is rather sudden.

BUFFY: Not as sudden as you might think. She's snuck out with him twice before. He took her patrolling. Had her fighting vampires by herself.

SPIKE: That was bloody reckless of him. What did you do to him when you found out?

BUFFY: Wailed on him. Giles kept me from killing him.

SPIKE: I suppose that would be his idea of a date. I'm guessing they didn't do dinner-and-a-movie in Quor Toth. Though I'm also guessing that right now you wish they were out vampire hunting, rather than back at his place. Why aren't you over there putting a stop to this?

BUFFY: I tried to cut Dawn off at the pass. Well, the Bronze, actually. She made it clear she wasn't coming home without a fight.

SPIKE: What about putting the fear of Slayer in Connor?

BUFFY: Did that. Doesn't work if I can't get Dawn away from him.

SPIKE: And the more you try, the more she refuses, and the more confident he becomes. You'd just encourage them. Then again, if you do nothing –

BUFFY: It seems my only option is the ride him out on a rail. Or kill him. But I have a thing against killing humans. And he appears to be that. Among other things.

SPIKE: Dawn's a headstrong kid. She wouldn't let him take advantage of her. I worry about him for a different reason. Connor's been rather nice to me the last few days. Keeps coming by my crypt. Hanging out. Refusing to leave.

BUFFY: Like Dawn used to?

SPIKE: Without the flirting. And with violence. He kept attacking me and getting beat up and asking me what he did wrong. Then today, he brings me blood. Just wants to talk about what it feels like getting a soul. Acts real friendly. Now I realize he was just buttering me up. The whole time, he was planning to kill me. That's scary. You plan to kill someone, and you have a soul, you don't pal around with them. You feel nervous, guilty. He was loving every minute of it. Never out of character. That's pathological. That's Angelus. He loved the build-up best. Putting a victim at ease. Relishing the fact that they have no idea you're about to be their executioner.

BUFFY: You think Connor's evil?

SPIKE: He's not evil. He just likes his work a little too much. You worry about an executioner who has tea with his victims before he beheads them. He thought I was evil. Now I understand why he fixated on me from the start. Think of Robin. I don't like to, knowing what I did to him, but let's use him as an example. He stays away from me. Always acts suspicious around me. Never even thinks of pretending to be my friend. That is what regular people do when they want to kill someone. What Connor did was unnatural. And now I know it wasn't the first time.

BUFFY: You mean what he did to Angel?

SPIKE: What he did after. He thought Angel was evil. He thought wrong, but that's not the point.

BUFFY: How is that not the point? He did something horrible to someone who loved him?

SPIKE: Granted, he has a huge problem with rashness and jumping to conclusions. But focus on what he did afterwards. He lived for months with Angel's best friends, with people who were trying day and night to find Angel. With people who suffered because Angel was gone. Day after day, month after month, Connor watched this. What kind of a person can stand to witness how much pain they are causing innocent human beings?

BUFFY: And this would also be like Angelus?

SPIKE: Classic Angelus.

BUFFY: You think Connor's like his father? Like his father is when he's evil?

SPIKE: That's in there. It's a part of him. In spite of the fact that he's made several attempts on my life and conspired with others to kill me, I think he's a good kid. A good kid with problems.

BUFFY: And with a dark side?

SPIKE: Yes. But only because he's confused.

BUFFY: Now he's still confused and he's with Dawn. I better take another shot at stopping that.

SPIKE: He knows she's not evil. He won't hurt her, but he might . . . Which still only makes him the lesser of two evils in your book.

BUFFY: Maybe there's a small chance I can talk some sense into her, keep Dawn from rushing into something she might regret.

Buffy gets up.

SPIKE: If you beat him up, that will only make her feel sorry for him.

BUFFY: I know. That's why I didn't pummel him when I saw them making out.

Faith knocks on Lindsey's bedroom door.

LINDSEY: It's open.

He's sitting on the bed, in blue jeans and a gray tank top, reading depositions.

LINDSEY: Hey Faith. Does this mean you trust me?

FAITH: No. That was when I decided to crash here. Not here, this room. Here, this hotel, this floor. You know what I mean.

LINDSEY: So what can I thank for this impromptu visit?

FAITH: I was just talking to Angel's Three Mouseketeers about Connor. Kid sounds like me without the guts to follow through. Lucky him. They told me about Darla. Wes and Gunn mentioned something about you having a thing for her. Then I remembered what you said when we met. Bout how it was a woman who made you want to change. Sure, I flunked algebra, but I can put two and two together, and she was the one, wasn't she?

LINDSEY: She was.

FAITH: You loved her?

LINDSEY: I did. Fell for her when she was human, even though I knew what was coming. Couldn't stop falling when she stopped being human.

FAITH: What was it that did it for you? I'm assuming it wasn't her connection to Angel. I'm hopin' it wasn't that.

LINDSEY: Her vulnerability. Then her strength. First I wanted to rescue her. Before I knew it, I wanted her to rescue me. Turned out I needed her a lot more than she needed me.

FAITH: She didn't love you?

LINDSEY: Maybe a little. For a while. But her heart never belonged to me.

FAITH: Lemme guess. Angel?

LINDSEY: Can't fight history.

FAITH: Tell me about it. Guess we'll both feel funny around Connor. I wanted his dad. You wanted his mom.

LINDSEY: Hadn't thought about that before. You're right. Suppose that's one of the problems of growing up overnight.

FAITH: Kinda smooshes the generations together.

LINDSEY: I'm over Darla, by the way. It took a little while. But that's all in my past. How bout you and Angel?

FAITH: Our relationship changed before I went to prison. Which is good, considering he never looked at me that way, and even if he did there ain't much he could do about it.

LINDSEY: Doesn't seem to stop the women from trying, least according to what I hear.

FAITH: Some girls like to suffer, even when they done nothin' wrong. Me, I need a reason to suffer.

LINDSEY: Do you need a reason to be happy? [smiles flirtatiously]

FAITH: Been a while since I've had one.


	20. No Excuses

Dawn and Connor are in the great hall on the first floor of Connor's/Angelus's house.

DAWN: Nice place. Did it come like this?

CONNOR: The couch was here. I added the tv and stereo.

DAWN: Where'd you get those?

CONNOR: Vampires. Some of them have stuff. Sometimes after I kill them I take it. That's how I learned to do it in LA.

DAWN: What was your place like there?

They sit down on the couch, Connor to Dawn's right. He puts his left arm around her shoulders, and his right hand holds her right hand.

CONNOR: Think the others called it a loft. One room. Big. Tall. High up off the ground. Wasn't very safe. Things could attack whenever they wanted.

DAWN: Like the Beast?

CONNOR: He came near the end. I was all alone. I tried to fight, but he just threw me around. Was Glory like him?

DAWN: I think she was a lot smaller. And human looking. But really strong and hard to hurt and impossible to kill, like the Beast.

CONNOR: How did you kill it?

DAWN: It's complicated. I didn't see how it happened.

CONNOR: How do you tell the difference between the fake memories and the real ones?

DAWN: It used to be I couldn't. They all seem real. I know when I was "sent," or born, created. But in my mind I can't tell the difference between the stuff that happened before and the stuff than happened after. After a while, I figured out how to do that. It wasn't real until I was scared. Until I was always aware that things out there were trying to hurt me. For a long time, my life wasn't like that at all. I knew Buffy was the Slayer, but it didn't effect me. My life wasn't in danger. Once or twice, but that was all. Now I know that part wasn't real, because real life could never be that safe.

CONNOR: I never had that problem. Guess it's not a problem, being safe. But I had powers. When I was really little, I didn't. But back then I didn't understand what was happening. Holtz always told me it was a game, an adventure. When I got strong enough to help out, he told me it was dangerous, that the game was over. I didn't think so. I was maybe 8 or 9 when I first learned it was serious, because that's when I first got hurt. Everyone tells me how horrible that place was, but it wasn't. Not to me. It was tough and hard and dirty and tiring. But it was simple. Protect my father. Kill and eat. Don't get killed. It's not like I knew about beds or tv or cream-fill chocolate cupcakes.

DAWN: You didn't know what you were missing.

CONNOR: Right.

DAWN: I saw you looking at books at school. How did you learn to read?

CONNOR: Holtz taught me. He always said one day I would go back. Wrote letters in the sand when I was really little. Then he used the purple blood of some scavenger creature we always killed to write words on big stones. Then on strips of bark. Told me stories from books he had read. Wrote out sentences. Made me practice copying them. I never liked it. Always wanted to get back to hunting.

DAWN: So hunting was like recess, or playtime for you?

CONNOR: It was fun. Most of the time. I liked to set traps. Drive things off cliffs. Or digs holes and cover them up with sticks and dirt. Make something big chase after me. Watch it get stuck.

DAWN: Like a practical joke? Something to make you laugh.

CONNOR: I would laugh. Holtz would tell me to be serious, since if I was careless for just a minute I could get myself killed. He didn't laugh. Maybe a few times when I was small. Rest of the time he was always serious. Like my dad.

DAWN: You mean Angel?

CONNOR: Yeah. They both talked a lot about responsibility.

DAWN: And didn't they both fight evil? They both risked their lives to help others. I'm guessing they both wanted you to follow in their footsteps?

CONNOR: Pretty much. With Holtz, in Quor Toth, it wasn't bad, cause there were no other people around. When we got back here, then I felt the pressure. I wanted to make him proud. I was all he had. He loved me, and I loved him, but I was never really family. He always reminded I was different, special. He said he could never understand what was going on inside me because it wasn't going on inside him. Angel did. But he was bigger, stronger, more experienced than me. I wanted to be like him, be better than him, and kill him, sometimes all at once. When I wanted to kill him, I felt bad cause I couldn't. When I wanted him to be proud of me, I felt shame cause I disappointed him. I was always disappointing him. Made me scared to love him.

DAWN: Because then you felt what you thought he felt and you realized you made him suffer. And that hurt inside.

CONNOR: It did. So then I just stayed mad it him.

DAWN: That hurt less.

CONNOR: Never did me any good.

DAWN: Why did you stay mad?

CONNOR: Everyone I knew in this world were his people. I was living in his world. Never felt like I had my own life.

DAWN: I know the feeling.

CONNOR: You had it rougher than me.

DAWN: Call me crazy, but I seriously doubt that.

CONNOR: You were created to be hunted. But they didn't give you the power to defend yourself. I can't imagine anything worse.

DAWN: I'm not completely helpless.

CONNOR: I know. [he grins] You're tough. You fight good. You kill things that are stronger than you. I put you in some really tough spots, but you never ran. You held your ground. I like that. I really like that. It's so . . . –

DAWN: Brave?

CONNOR: Hot.

Connor moves in and kisses Dawn. After 20 seconds, she pulls back.

DAWN: Connor, there's something on my mind, and I just need to get it out in the open and tell you.

CONNOR: Go ahead. You can tell me anything.

DAWN: Before I always felt afraid, back when I know it wasn't real even though it the memories feel real, there were two times I was very scared. One was when you father went bad and he attacked me. Grabbed me from behind in front of Buffy and her friends. Threatened to bite me. Xander came at him with a cross and he let go, and Buffy rushed him and he ran away. I knew him before he became bad, and when he became good again, so I don't remember him as an evil person. But when he stopped being bad I didn't ever really trust him again, because I could never be sure he wasn't evil again. The other time, the first time I was really scared, involved your mother Darla. She bit my mother. I came downstairs when I heard mom scream. Darla knocked my head into the table and I passed out. When I woke up, Buffy had left to take mom to the hospital. I was alone for a minute. Then Angel came in and checked to see that I was okay. Then he left. My mom was fine, by the way. Just a little blood loss. And it wasn't real. The part with my mother might be real, but the part with me wasn't. It was just bothering me. I'm sorry. Do you have any feelings about your mom?

CONNOR: I came from her. She's always been a part of me. I used to see her in dreams sometimes. When I was little and confused and scared, she would come and talk to me, and then I wasn't scared anymore. She was always kind and loving and, I guess, everything a mother should be. I love her. I know she did bad stuff, but if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here.

DAWN: That's a big plus in my book. A huge, huge, plus. Now that I think about it, I almost feel like thanking her.

Dawn puts her left hand on Connor's face. She runs her thumb across his lips. She slowly moves her head in. Connor smiles, tilts his head and kisses her.

GUNN: So what's he done to our old place?

LORNE: The decorating is an absolute nightmare. Never seen so many velvet drapes in my entire life. You would hardly recognize the hotel. However, remember that ballroom we found in the basement that time Fred was fighting off those trans-dimensional water-suckers? It's operational, and it's fabulous! I'm thinking of opening up shop there once we get Angel back.

WES: I don't think that's what Charles meant.

GWEN: It's packed to the gills with vamps. Maybe 200 at the parties, 100 of whom seem to be live-ins. But they're not fighters. Just guests. My guess is they came for the safety, so once we make things dangerous they'll run. Sub-basement has the ballroom. Along with the first-floor lobby, that's where they gather. He turned the basement into a citadel. Limited access. It has cages with about 30 live humans.

WES: Fresh blood reserves.

GWEN: Right. Plus the area's sealed off except for two thick metal doors. And the vents in the ceilings, which is how I got in. Angelus forgot about those. Place is designed to withstand a siege. Barrier falls, the enemy come in the building, he can hide there with his fighters, wait us out.

GUNN: Those sure ain't the actions of a confident guy.

WES: He's a careful, calculating adversary.

FRED: Try paranoid. What about the tunnels? Even if we surrounded him, even if we broke in, he could still come and go as he pleased.

WES: I think he's learned from past mistakes. His demise last time was brought about by extreme carelessness and inattention to detail. And we're better prepared and more numerous than his enemies were back then.

GWEN: Not very often the sequel's better than the original. Can I go now?

There's a pause. No one is sure who has the authority to act as leader and make that decision.

GUNN: Sure. Thanks for helping.

LORNE: And sweetie, it was great to finally see you in action. As cat burglars go, you're definitely a tiger.

WES: I'll, I mean, we'll call if anything happens.

FRED: Angelus is back home. I think that's where the rest of us should be going.

GUNN: Is he afraid of us? I mean, now that we got a Slayer.

FRED: Ever since we busted into his place, he's been shy.

WES: He'll try to attack us separately. Be careful. We know he has a gang of vampires working for him. Just because he's in for the night doesn't mean they are.

Having returned to LA, Angelus's sirens walk down the Sunset Strip.

ALANNA: That Spike sure was cute. Too bad he has a soul.

TINA: I thought he was gross-looking. The hair was cheesy.

VALA: I'd give him a roll in the hay. Guy seems like he has passion.

ALANNA: Did you see him with Angelus? Talk about sparks.

VALA: You saw sparks? Well I saw fire.

TINA: I saw envy. Big, hot fiery envy. Who wouldn't be envious of Angelus?

ALANNA: Had they been fighting before we got there?

VALA: Something hit Angelus. Don't think it was that Slayer. She seemed spooked by him. I can't believe he loved that little Buffy poodle.

TINA: He had a soul. He wasn't in control. Those things make vampires insane.

ALANNA: Is Buffy doing Spike, now that Angel's gone? Lucky girl. She so doesn't deserve them.

TINA: It's sad when some of our kind prefer the living. Even sadder when the living prefer our kind. It's unnatural. Even if he is as hot as Angelus.

VALA: Girl's spent so much time round vamps she thinks she's one of us.

TINA: Too bad he didn't let us rip her to shreds when we had her surrounded.

ALANNA: You think we coulda done it without casualties?

TINA: Sure, some of the men woulda bit the dust, but they're fodder to begin with. We woulda made it out. So would Angelus.

ALANNA: And with that Slayer out of the way, I could take Spike with me, chain him to my bed and turn him into my sex slave. Then we could get some magician to rip out his pesky soul. Then he'd be ours forever. I'd love to watch him take apart our Faith Slayer. He's done it before. And you know what they say about man's who just drunk Slayer blood.

TINA: You really want this punk.

VALA: Getting bored with Angelus? Guess that means more of him for me and Tina. [Ironically, Alanna is Angelus's favorite.]

ALANNA: You both know it's impossible to get bored with Angelus. But if he shares us, we should be able to share his friends. Plus, you know things would be more interesting as a fivesome.

TINA: You two can work on bleach boy. Then I can have exquisite Angelus all to myself.

ALANNA: Look at that menu.

Points at 8 young men and women leaving a club.

VALA: You girls up for a massacre?

TINA: When aren't we?

Dawn's sitting in Connor's lap. His arms are wrapped around her waist. He kisses her neck and has on his "happy puppy" look.

DAWN: I was just wondering about something.

CONNOR: What?

DAWN: When did you first kiss a girl?

CONNOR: My first night in this dimension.

DAWN: You didn't waste any time.

CONNOR: It was my only kiss for a long time. I saved her from these bad people. She took me to where she lived. Gave me regular clothes. I came here wearing animal skins.

DAWN: Doesn't sound like a bad look for you. You still have them?

CONNOR: Ditched em that night. She also gave me some food. First time I had ever tasted anything sweet. Didn't even know what to call it. We talked a little, and she kissed me. But just for a couple seconds. Then she went into the bathroom and put some medicine in her arm and it killed her.

DAWN: You don't put medicine in your arm. Oh. She was a junkie. Probably a runaway. Did she mention her parents?

CONNOR: Said they were bad. She lived by herself.

DAWN: You went straight from Quor Toth to skid row. No wonder you didn't like this world. Only saw the bad parts.

CONNOR: Not anymore.

Dawn smiles, turns her head back and kisses Connor. She's noticed he can be very good at saying the right thing.

CONNOR: What about you? What was your first kiss like?

Dawn takes a deep breath. She worries Connor might not like the details.

DAWN: It was nice. But then I realized he was a vampire, and I staked him. [Connor is a little startled.] I didn't know that when I kissed him. I swear. And once I knew, I stopped.

CONNOR: I guess it's really hard to find the right person.

Dawn turns around, puts her arms around Connor and kisses him.

FAITH: You never told me why you joined that law firm. Was it the power?

LINDSEY: Mostly. I really was a naive country boy who didn't quite know what I was getting myself into. I knew these people weren't saints. Everyone always talks about evil corporate law firms. Didn't know the one I'd joined literally was evil. But that's not an excuse. Because it didn't bother me. I was happy to hurt people, to do what I was told. Even started coming up with some good evil schemes of my own. And when I first thought of leaving, it wasn't because of conscience. Mostly it was because I was afraid I wouldn't make partner, so I wanted to go someplace where I would. Turns out I did make partner. But that was after Darla, after I figured out I was wasting my life.

FAITH: You're really showy about not making excuses. Like you're flaunting responsibility.

LINDSEY: Because I don't seek forgiveness. I believe in deathbed conversions, not earning redemption. For me it's never been about evening the score. Can't change the past, can't bring the people who died because of me back to life.

FAITH: What's done is done? That's it for you? You just forget?

LINDSEY: Never. But I don't wallow in it and let guilt run my life. Wallowing in your sins doesn't make you a better person. It just makes you self-absorbed.

Indirect dig at brooding Angel. Lindsey's attempting to differentiate himself from his enemy/rival/role model.

FAITH: The clean slate approach. Sounds like the easy way out.

LINDSEY: It is. I do good. But I don't exactly sacrifice.

FAITH: I noticed. The penthouse suite. The leer jet. The chopper.

LINDSEY: I do what makes me happy. And being here, helping out, makes me feel better than playing golf or lounging poolside at some resort. Why do you help out? You're free. The people you used to work for don't seem to want to around. Why risk your life?

FAITH: It's what I'm good at. Plus I owe Angel. And yeah, helping people does feel good.

LINDSEY: Makes you feel important.

FAITH: Damn. You're even more jaded than me.

LINDSEY: Actually, I like to think I'm something of a dreamer. But I also believe in self-interest. If you know the difference between good and evil, doing good makes you happy.

FAITH: Also, I don't know what else to do with my life.

LINDSEY: Slayers have no future. Each one a doomed tragedy. How romantic. Stuff of poetry. How did it make you feel to learn about your destiny?

FAITH: Made me feel stoked. I never expected to live a long and happy life. Didn't have any plans. Or prospects. But I had super powers. It was incredible. Then my Watcher took me over to the Mount Auburn Cemetery and I discovered this big new world with funny-looking guys I was supposed to kill. I loved the danger, the violence, being better than everyone. Kicking ass and saving people's lives was a wicked good gig.

LINDSEY: When did things change?

FAITH: This master vampire killed my Watcher. I felt bad for not protecting her. It's supposed to be the other way around. Slayers die, Watchers live with the guilt. That's when I headed out to Sunnydale. Then I accidentally killed this guy, and after that being good wasn't an option. The good guys wanted to lock me up. But, like you, I didn't mind having blood on my hands. Got to like killing people on purpose.

LINDSEY: The only blood I ever had on my hands was my own. I just gave the orders. Other people carried them out. Probably why I can be so detached about my past. What changed you back? I know it wasn't prison, since you wanted to be good by the time I met you.

FAITH: I started to want to feel connected to people, to be in the world. Didn't feel good to be alone. That's why I went to Angel. He understood. And by then he was the only one who'd give me a chance.

LINDSEY: But when you came back to town, Angel was gone and you were alone again. What were you planning to do?

FAITH: I thought maybe Wes was still around. I wasn't sure he'd want to see me, considering what I did to him. But I thought maybe he'd want to give me another chance. I bombed as a Slayer, he tanked as a Watcher, so I thought we both wanted a chance to get it right. Turned out to be easier than I thought, since we both changed a lot. If he was like this the first time round things coulda gone a lot different.

LINDSEY: Glad I could play middle man and bring you two together.

FAITH: Don't try fake modesty. You've done a lot more than that. And I don't mean the room and board. [uncomfortable pause] Look at the time. I better get some sleep. Nice talking to someone I don't gotta make no apologies to.

Connor and Dawn are lying on the couch kissing. Connor's on top. He hears someone approaching.

CONNOR: Stay here.

He grabs his shirt off the floor and walks to the door. Buffy enters the house and walks into the great room before Connor has a chance to put it on. Seeing him there half-naked only fuels her anger. She doesn't look on the bright side: at least he still has his pants on. Buffy has her dignity, and she's going to handle this in a civilized manner. Also, she knows that while beating Connor into unconsciousness will keep him away from Dawn that night, in the long term it will only backfire.

BUFFY: Dawn, I want to speak with you out in the courtyard.

Dawn stands up. She is a little confused, since she has yet to be given the grand tour. On top of everything else, Buffy wishes that at the very least Connor had not brought Dawn to THAT particular house, with all the history its four walls held for Buffy. (At least Connor wasn't shirtless and doing Tai-Chi with Dawn. The sight of that probably would have driven Buffy to a nervous breakdown.)

CONNOR: It's in back.

Connor does not know that Angel lived in this house for part of the time he was in Sunnydale. Therefore he can't fully realize how difficult this moment is for Buffy. Dawn doesn't know either, since she never visited Angel there.

BUFFY: Connor sit down.

Connor sits on the couch. He's a little scared of Buffy, and after what happened at the Bronze he knows Buffy can't take Dawn away from him.

BUFFY: Stay.

She turns on the stereo. It starts playing the Sex Pistols' "Holiday in the Sun." This surprises Buffy. But she doesn't know it's the Pistols, or that Spike's a huge fan. They never talked music. She turns up the volume and walks out into the courtyard with Dawn, closing the door behind her. Buffy does all these things to keep Connor and his super ears from hearing their conversation.

DAWN: Are we gonna do this all over again?

BUFFY: You're being awfully flip about what you're getting yourself into.

DAWN: You don't know what you're talking about. You don't understand what we have.

BUFFY: What you have? You just met him!

DAWN: I found someone who makes me happier than I've ever felt. Why does that make you mad?

BUFFY: I'm not mad. Just concerned. Do you know about Connor's history? Cordelia? Anya?

DAWN: I do. We've done a lot of talking. Connor's "history" makes him less experienced than ANY of your boyfriends.

BUFFY: This isn't about me.

DAWN: You're afraid I'm going to make the same mistake you did? That's impossible.

BUFFY: No. I'm afraid you'll make an even bigger mistake.

DAWN: I don't need you to protect me from someone who cares about me, someone who makes me happy, someone I make happy.

BUFFY: I hope you're right. But don't do things based on hopes. I love you. All I want is for you to be safe and happy. Please remember that.

Buffy leaves by leaping over the back wall. She doesn't want to walk by Connor again. Dawn goes back inside. She turns off the stereo. Connor sees her and smiles.

CONNOR: You're staying?

Dawn sits down to Connor's left.

DAWN: I told you I belong with you.

On the way home, Buffy crosses paths with Spike.

SPIKE: Things are quiet at your place. Everyone's asleep but Rupert, Xander and Anya. They're just wallowing in their own shock. I was heading home. No dice with Dawny?

BUFFY: She's fallen for him. Wild horses couldn't drag her away.

SPIKE: It's not like you think. Odds are Dawn's the one who wears the pants.

BUFFY: Right now she's wearing a mini-skirt.

SPIKE: Isn't this cute. You're turning into her father.

BUFFY: In case you didn't notice, I turned into her mother a while back.

SPIKE: Sorry. Forgot that Xander was playing daddy.

BUFFY: Xander is not the – that's nuts.

SPIKE: How bad does he want to put a shotgun in Connor's face and tell im to keep his hands off Dawny?

BUFFY: He did talk about threatening Connor with deadly violence to make him leave town.

SPIKE: See wut ah mean?

BUFFY: I don't know whether that's supposed to be funny or scary, and I don't want to try to figure out which. Anyway Spike, thanks.

SPIKE: For what?

BUFFY: For proving me wrong.

SPIKE: About what?

BUFFY: For making me trust you.

SPIKE: My pleasure. Just remember to keep Dawn's tryst in perspective. The Hellmouth, end-of-the-world, eternal triumph of evil perspective.

Connor and Dawn are lying on the couch. Connor's on top. Things are getting kinda hot and heavy. Connor kisses Dawn's neck as he puts his right hand up her skirt and his left hand up her shirt.

DAWN: Okay. Down boy. Connor, can you stop for a second?

He takes his hands off her.

CONNOR: What's wrong?

DAWN: Nothing. I mean, this is great. You and me, this is incredible. But I'm kind of, you know, new to this, and I just don't know if I'm ready.

CONNOR: You wanna leave?

DAWN: No. I want to be here with you. I love being here with you.

CONNOR: You just don't wanna sleep with me?

DAWN: I'm fine with sleeping with you.

CONNOR: You just don't wanna have sex. I understand.

DAWN: You do? [she's not aware that he slept with Cordy several times before they actually did it.]

CONNOR: Yeah. It's okay. Just as long as we're together. I don't want to be alone. And right now, you're the only person I want to be with.

Meanwhile, in Buffy's kitchen.

XANDER: How did Faith get paroled after three years? Isn't that a bit early for murderers?

GILES: The First was teleporting demons into the prison to kill Faith. She killed them all without much trouble. But the repeated demon infiltrations made her presence a risk to the other inmates.

ANYA: So the First freed Faith?

GILES: Unintentionally.

XANDER: Why unintentionally? She's safer in prison than she is on the streets? And they want to kill her.

GILES: Yes, but in prison she could do them no harm. No they have two Slayers to contend with.

ANYA: Does that mean she's coming here?

GILES: The understanding I reached with Wesley was that once Angel's soul has been restored she leaves Los Angeles and returns to Sunnydale.

XANDER: Connor AND Faith. I'm sure Buffy will love working with those two.

GILES: Connor will already have returned to Los Angeles.

Buffy enters.

BUFFY: She's not coming back.

ANYA: Who?

BUFFY: Dawn.

XANDER: Ever?!!

BUFFY: Tonight.

XANDER: Whew. That's a relief. No it's not! She's spending the night with - ! You LET her spend the night with him!?

BUFFY: I tried everything short of violence.

ANYA: But violence is what you're best at.

XANDER: And it's the only thing Connor understands.

GILES: Please try to put things in perspective. Last night, the world almost ended. We're trying to prevent the eternal destruction of the Slayer line. We can't worry about developments which are merely unsettling at a time when we are contending with events that could be catastrophic.

BUFFY: You're right.

GILES: Thank you.

BUFFY: And that's exactly what Spike said.

She walks into the hallway and goes up the stairs. Giles follows her.

GILES: Is that some sort of joke?

BUFFY: I was trying to offer you a compliment.

GILES: And it came out like a bloody awful insult. You can call me a lot of things. In fact, you can say anything derogatory about me that you wish. But don't EVER compare me to Spike.

Back in the kitchen.

XANDER: I always knew Spike would become more like Giles.

ANYA: Then why did Buffy sleep with him? I mean, if he was becoming more like Giles, you would expect her to become less attracted to him.

XANDER: Just when I thought I had done enough cringing for one night.

[Next: Cordy betrays and Angelus, does her old friends a favor, and deals Willow a painful blow. Also, Connor starts talking to FE Darla. Wonder what she'll want him to do.]


	21. Good Morning Sunshine, Hello Mother

[Angelus breaks free of Cordy's control. Cecil (Angelus's vampire helper from Seattle) tells a story about Spike's and Dru's connections to some local rock stars. Connor asks Spike about Darla. And then Connor finds Darla waiting for him at his house.]

Angelus is sleeping in bed. Tina lies to his left, Alanna lies to his right, and Vala lies on top of him, resting her head on his chest. The window is to his right, and the shades and curtains are open. His right arm stretches out across Alanna's body. The sun's rays enter through the open window and set the back of Angelus's right hand on fire. This causes him to wake up. He sees the light.

ANGELUS: What the hell!!

He grabs Alanna – who is closest to the window – and tosses her to the ground on the left side of the bed before she can be burned. He wraps the blanket around Vala and Tina and pushes them to the floor near Alanna. The three vampires cower in terror and confusion under the blanket. Angelus gets out of bed and stands against the rear wall, just out of direct sunlight. He moves along the wall towards the window, making sure to keep the sensitive parts of his naked body out of harm's way. When he gets close, he reaches out and pulls down the shade. Then he draws the curtains shut.

ANGELUS: It's okay. You're safe. You can come out now.

His three consorts peek out from beneath the blanket. When they notice the sunlight is no longer coming into the room, they let go of the blanket, stand up and get on their silk robes. Angelus falls to the ground and clutches his scorched right hand.

ANGELUS: Why is this happening?

Dawn wakes up, rolls over and sees Connor's face. She kisses him softly on the lips, and he opens his eyes. Connor kisses her back.

CONNOR: Is it morning already?

DAWN: The sun seems to think so. And so does my watch. I gotta get ready for school. [she gets out of bed] Where's the bathroom?

CONNOR: Down the hall on your left.

Connor lies down again. Dawn turns on the faucet in the bathroom's sink. She splashes her face and notices there's no mirror in the room, which she finds odd. Then she fiddles with the taps and discovers something even odder. She runs back into Connor's bedroom.

DAWN: You don't have any hot water.

CONNOR: I know.

DAWN: This isn't a problem?

CONNOR: No.

DAWN: Okay, for you, that makes sense. You lived 17 years without hot running water. I'm not as used to roughing it. I'm gonna go home. I had a great time, Connor.

Connor gets out of bed and puts on a shirt. They walk downstairs.

CONNOR: Me too. Thanks for . . . everything.

DAWN: I'll see you after school?

CONNOR: Okay.

DAWN: Cool. [they're at the front door] I guess this means we're like boyfriend and girlfriend now.

CONNOR: I thought we were more than just friends.

He smirks. They put their arms around each other and kiss. Dawn eventually summons the will to pull herself away and walk home. Well, walking and skipping. She's quite giddy. Connor heads upstairs, scarfs down a half dozen or so of the pastries he took from a vending machine, then showers. Buffy's already awake. She didn't sleep too well. From the kitchen, where she's drinking coffee, Buffy hears Dawn open the front door. She heads into the hallway to greet her bright-eyed and happy-looking younger sister.

DAWN: See. I'm back. Anything happen while I was gone?

BUFFY: I don't know. You tell me.

DAWN: Oh. This is the part where you want details.

BUFFY: [gets a sour look on her face] No details. Please, no details. Just tell me –

DAWN: We didn't. Is that what you wanted to know?

Dawn goes upstairs. Buffy feels slightly relieved. She won't feel completely at ease until Connor has left town.

Gunn is awoken by the noise outside. He opens the shade, and can't believe his eyes. At first he thinks he's dreaming. People on the street are making noise. The darkness has ended. Car horns are honking. It's like when the Lakers win the title, without the looting or rioting. There was more than enough of that when the sun was gone. Wesley and Fred also wake up to this most unexpected of shocks. All of them get dressed and race down to the hotel. Lindsey and Faith are also happy, but they've only experienced a few days of darkness. For Wes, Gunn, Fred and Lorne, it's been weeks. Their jubilation is far greater. They rush over to their new headquarters at the hotel. Lorne, of course, enters singing.

LORNE: "Oh what a beautiful morning. Oh what a beautiful day. I've got a wonderful feeling . . . "

It isn't until they have met up that someone asks the obvious question.

WES: What brought the sun back?

FRED: The Beast blotted out the sun. Does this mean he's dead?

GUNN: We haven't seen him in almost a week.

LORNE: But if he's dead, who killed him? I know we didn't.

FRED: Angelus? They do have a history.

WES: It's entirely counterintuitive.

LORNE: Why would he end the darkness? He's a vampire?

GUNN: And how could he kill the Beast? He's not strong enough. He said so himself.

LINDSEY: Better yet, how could he do it last night? Unless this demon went into the Hyperion after Angelus came home.

LORNE: The barrier allows Angelus to hurt other demons, but they can't hurt him. Big Red might not have known. It would be the perfect setup.

GWEN: He woulda left a trail. [the others turn to see Gwen, who's just entered.] Busted walls. Big hole in the roof. I went by there this morning. Not a scratch on the building. And the lobby was spotless. And empty. Now that it's morning in Los Angeles, vamps probably don't feel like partying too much.

FAITH: As usual, I have no idea what any of you are talking about. Never met this Beast, and from what I hear, lucky me. And that makes me wonder why. You say Cordy controls this demon, and Cordy protects Angelus. Why wouldn't she send the demon to kill me? Is there a better way to protect your vampire than to kill a Slayer?

WES: That's a very good point.

LINDSEY: Maybe he was already dead.

GWEN: Maybe he's not dead. If killing him wouldn't bring back the sun, why should we assume he's dead? With the sun gone, there were so many demons in town he wasn't necessary. She could be saving him for when she needs him.

GUNN: Only if she's careless. Cordy likes to knock out people who can help us before we get a chance to meet them. The Ra-Tet was 80% mincemeat when we found out they were in danger. The Priestesses were cut up days before we learned they existed. Why let Faith find us?

WES: Unless she didn't expect Faith. Her arrival was entirely unrelated to events in Los Angeles.

LORNE: People, remember that we didn't expect Faith either. But we found her before Cordy did. The way demon gossip spreads, and with all those vampires running scared from the awesome slay-o-matic, I'm sure Angelus knew about Faith before we did.

FAITH: The Bringers also knew about me. I wasn't here 5 minutes before they jumped me. Either Cordy's way off her game or her favorite hitman wasn't around.

FRED: Let's assume the Beast is dead.

LORNE: I welcome that assumption. "Hey ho, the Beast is dead."

FRED: Let's assume his death had nothing to do with the sun coming back. Why is it back?

FAITH: Cordelia wanted to work on her tan? The Cordy I knew woulda done it.

WES: Or she wanted to lure Connor back.

LINDSEY: Let's dissect the hows and whys later on. Right now, Angelus is on the move.

GWEN: In the daytime?

GUNN: He's using the tunnels.

LINDSEY: And he's coming our way.

WES: That's not like him. Unless he wanted to surprise us when we least expected it.

LINDSEY: But he's not coming to us. He's going somewhere else in the neighborhood. Looks like he's settling in about a half-mile from here. I'll see if I can pinpoint the building. Now isn't that cute? He's right there.

Lindsey points out the window to a 20 story residential tower which is easily visible from the tower they are in.

FRED: Could he be spying on us?

LINDSEY: Windows are tinted. He couldn't see in.

WES: Do we know where Cordelia is living?

FRED: We checked her old apartment, so we know she's not there.

GUNN: You think Cordy's living near us, and Angelus is payin' her a visit? Does that bug give elevation?

LINDSEY: It can. I haven't utilized that option yet. I'll give it a try. [types some stuff into the computer] Here we are. Angelus is going up. Way up. Looks like he's gone to the top.

GWEN: She seems like the type who wouldn't settle for anything less than the penthouse suite.

WES: Are we saying Cordelia has been operating right under our noses?

GUNN: I think we're saying we've been operating right under hers.

Angelus gets out of the elevator and enters Cordy's apartment. It covers the entire top floor. The owners left town when the chaos started. Cordy moved in and redecorated. Cordy reclines on a bed covered in rose petals at the back of a large room. A quartet of four-foot tall demons who look like cute little blonde dwarves put freshly cut flowers in vases around the room, bring Cordy food and drink, and wait on her hand and foot. When she sees Angelus, she flips her right wrist, and the servants quickly disappear into other rooms.

ANGELUS: Eloi butlers. Very cute.

He looks nervously at the floor-to-ceiling windows which surround the room on three sides.

CORDY: The glass darkens when it gets bright out. You're safe here, my darling.

Angelus charges right up to Cordy.

ANGELUS: Why aren't I safe everywhere in town? Why is the sun back!?

CORDY: I blocked out the sun for you. When you left town, that triggered the end of the spell.

ANGELUS: You wanted me to leave town. Was it all a trick?

CORDY: Of course, the death of the Beast should also have ended the spell. I prevented that from happening as a favor to you. And I would have done you another favor if you had done what I wanted and killed the Slayer. I don't see Buffy's head. That's why you see the sun.

ANGELUS: You set me up!

CORDY: You failed. Was she too tough for you?

ANGELUS: Connor didn't want to help.

CORDY: Can't you kill her yourself?

ANGELUS: Definitely. But I couldn't get her alone. There were unforeseen complications.

CORDY: Her friends!? Please don't tell me Willow and Xander stopped you.

ANGELUS: Why didn't you tell me Spike had a soul?

Cordelia giggles for about 15 seconds.

CORDY: Spike has a soul? Like you did? [more giggling] I'm sorry. Looks like you've become a trendsetter. How did this happen?

ANGELUS: You should know. It happened last summer, when you were all-seeing.

CORDY: Then it didn't happen in Sunnydale.

ANGELUS: So what?

CORDY: So, I couldn't see everything at once. I could see any one thing I wanted at any one time. And why would I want to look for Spike? Why would I even want to look AT Spike? He's gross. And the Billy Idol thing is so two decades ago.

ANGELUS: Who's Billy Idol?

CORDY: Forget it. Spike wasn't in Sunnydale when I was looking down at it. He could have come back after you returned from the deep. Because once you were back, I watched NOTHING but you. So Spike was there. Who cares? You can take Spike.

ANGELUS: I can take Buffy, I can take Connor, I can take Spike. Separately. I couldn't work on Buffy with Spike standing behind me, ready to pounce when I wasn't looking.

CORDY: You mean Spike would protect Buffy? Are they a couple? He is a vampire with a soul. She can't have you, so she settles for second best. I feel so sorry for her.

ANGELUS: She spread for him before he had a soul.

CORDY: Girl must be desperate if she's hitting em up when they're soulless. I always suspected Buffy was a closet freak.

ANGELUS: She broke up with him. He got a soul to impress her. But she's with some other guy. And he still fights for her. What a sap.

CORDY: Who's the other guy?

ANGELUS: You'll love this part. Buffy's dating a black guy. He's a demon fighter. Shaved head. Goatee.

CORDY: Buffy's dating a Gunn clone!?

ANGELUS: He's got a better body. And his mother was a Slayer.

CORDY: That's kinky.

ANGELUS: And she was killed by Spike.

CORDY: Even kinkier. Did he know Spike boned Buffy?

ANGELUS: Nope. He didn't even know that I boned Buffy. It was great. They're finished. He thinks Buffy's a dirty, dirty girl.

CORDY: Can you blame him?

ANGELUS: I told the guy to come here and look up Fred. He's just her type. Never killed another human being. Brains AND brawn. He's the new high school principal. And Buffy works for him. He hired her as a guidance counselor.

CORDY: She hasn't even finished college. Why would he do that? [Angelus smirks and raises an eyebrow] He gave her a job so he could get in her pants! And now that he knows who's been there before, she is so fired. How did Buffy take the news about Connor?

ANGELUS: Stunned doesn't begin to describe her reaction. You should have seen her face when I told her he was my son. Connor didn't take the news about me and Buffy very well either. Especially considering how mommy and Buffy didn't get along.

CORDY: Connor has feelings about Darla?

ANGELUS: I think he's got a real Oedipal Complex. Sees Buffy as a homewrecker. My guess is he'll kill her for us.

CORDY: He does that, he's getting a BIG reward from me.

ANGELUS: What was the point of bringing back the sun, other than to prove how much of a bitch you can be. You're helping the enemy.

CORDY: I'm focusing their attention on you. Recess is over, Angelus. Time to show the world how great you are. Get to work. Make Angel's friends curse the day he ever met him.

Angelus walks away from Cordy and paces back and forth.

ANGELUS: I'm starting to wonder about our relationship. Maybe we should stop seeing each other. I think I'll find a woman, or several women, who can appreciate me. It's time you learned that you are nothing without me, Cordelia.

CORDY: And what are you without me?

She holds up the jar containing his soul.

ANGELUS: Idle threat. Like I said, you're nothing without me.

Angelus leaves.

As Dawn walks to school, Connor appears out of nowhere. He's wearing black slacks and a blue button-down shirt that looks new. Back in LA, he killed two vamps who were looting a store. Afterwards, Connor helped himself to some of the threads he liked.

DAWN: Miss me already?

CONNOR: Didn't you miss me? [he takes her left hand in his right hand]

DAWN: Of course. [gives him a little kiss as they walk]

CONNOR: Is school something you have to go to? You can't miss it today?

DAWN: And spend the day with you? As much as I'd LUV that, it would just give Buffy a reason to keep me away from you. Make her think you're a bad influence on me. Anyway, I played enough hooky last year and the year before that. I'm trying to put my juvenile delinquency phase behind me. You're still seeing me after school, right?

CONNOR: Of course. And then we could do something tonight.

DAWN: You're not talking about more vampire killing?

CONNOR: Think I'll take tonight off. We can meet at the Bronze. Say, nine?

DAWN: That would be great. And it's nice to know you're learning how to tell time. With numbers, not just the sun and moon and stars.

CONNOR: Time seems more important. Especially the time I spend it with you.

DAWN: You know something? For a guy who doesn't say much, you're really good with words. Almost too good. You don't talk like this with other girls, do you?

CONNOR: Not anymore.

While Angelus is gone and the vampires are still cowering in their rooms with their shades drawn, Oscar walks into Cecil's office.

OSCAR: Remember when I sold Cisco and AOL and Amazon in March of 2000.

CECIL: I dimly recall your incessant bragging about it.

OSCAR: I pride myself on being able to get out before the bubble bursts.

CECIL: And you think our bubble is bursting.

OSCAR: Not ours. Angelus's. The reason we came here has disappeared.

CECIL: One of the reasons. We still have Angelus.

OSCAR: As great as he is, with the sun back the scene's over.

CECIL: So you want to bail ASAP.

OSCAR: Don't you? We came in as a team. We should leave as a team. Divvy up the proceeds. I get two-thirds. You get one-third.

CECIL: Sixty-Forty.

OSCAR: And I get the Mustang.

CECIL: Deal. But we don't leave today. He'll be expecting that. He senses we're no longer loyal, we're dust. For now we stay. Show we believe in him. Then we bail when doesn't expect it and isn't in a position to stop us.

OSCAR: How long do you plan on maintaining the charade?

CECIL: Two days tops.

OSCAR: I can do that. Especially considering how big the take will be.

CECIL: That mean my idea for a protection racket bore fruit?

OSCAR: More than I ever could have imagined. Every bar and club I approached was desperate for safety. They paid big bucks for me to keep the vampires away. Then came the best part. I used half the money I got from the club pay the local vampires to stay away. Then I got those same vampires to pay me so I would allow them to feed in here. I got back everything I gave them. Free bribery.

CECIL: Selling grazing rights. That was the one part I couldn't pull off back home. We didn't have a vampire oasis like the Hyperion. Hell, no one does.

OSCAR: Speaking of home, are you heading back to Seattle?

CECIL: Maybe Vancouver first. Some place that's cloudy and Slayer-free. How bout you? Back to the Bay area and the old lady? Why didn't Janie come down here with you?

OSCAR: You know how she feels about this city. For her, San Francisco in the sun is better than Los Angeles in the dark.

CECIL: I should drop by to see you guys this summer.

OSCAR: She'd like that. By the way, did you hear Spike has a soul? Bummer.

CECIL: You're telling me. He was the coolest. I remember that Pearl Jam-Nirvana-Chili Peppers show we went to at Key Arena back in 91.

OSCAR: It was January 92. Janie and I were there with you guys. Brilliant show. And all the kiddies we could eat. Great times. Too bad only Spike and Drusilla could get backstage. Did Dru really get in a fight with Courtney Love?

CECIL: She did. Spike sired a zine writer who was there. We were together for a few years. She told me all about it.

OSCAR: Veronica was sired by Spike? I never knew that.

CECIL: Courtney and Dru: two alpha women who are both extremely aggressive and a little nuts. Well, Dru is more than a little nuts. They got to bickering. Courtney was on the verge of slugging Dru when Spike pulled her away. Said Kurt and Courtney weren't like Sid and Nancy cause they had talent. Dru was mad that Spike kept her from killing Courtney. Spike, of course, would have none of it because he was trying to suck up to Kurt.

OSCAR: Now there's a conversation I would have liked to hear.

CECIL: Veronica said that at first Kurt thought Spike was a colossal joke, the Billy Idol look and all. Spike was very hurt.

OSCAR: Bad poets tend to be intimidated by great ones.

CECIL: Exactly. But Spike played on his history, talked about seeing the Raincoats in '79, following the Sex Pistols across the U.S. in '78, catching Patti Smith at CBGBs way back in '75. Convinced Kurt he was cool. Which for Spike meant a lot. You know how insecure he can be around people he admires.

OSCAR: What did Dru do to pass the time?

CECIL: She pouted for a few minutes about not getting to kill Courtney. But then Anthony Keidis hit on her. She had her fun. Let's just say Dru was too kinky even for him. Then before he sired Veronica, Spike went off with one of the women from L7.

OSCAR: Ouch. He really does like it rough. Which must be why he got stuck on this Buffy girl.

CECIL: It's the dark side of the Slayer obsession. If he fails to kill her, he can't get her out of his head.

OSCAR: I don't think Spike has a Slayer obsession per se. Before that concert, I mentioned there was a Slayer working out of Oakland. Suggested he come back with me and make the area safe again. Spike wasn't interested.

CECIL: Obviously he doesn't feel the need to kill every Slayer. But once he sets his sights on one, she consumes him. If he can't kill her, he's stuck with her.

ANYA: You think Buffy's going to be fired today?

XANDER: He wouldn't. Robin's a decent guy.

WILLOW: And he doesn't have cause.

ANYA: She slept with the demon who killed her boss's mother.

XANDER: And what does that have to do with job performance?

ANYA: Buffy was dating her boss. Would firing her be sexual harassment? I think it would. You fire someone for the same reason you broke up with them, it looks suspicious.

WILLOW: When did our lives become all Jerry Springer?

ANYA: A little over a year ago. You haven't noticed?

Buffy nervously enters Principal Wood's office.

BUFFY: I'm sorry I hurt you.

WOOD: Wouldn't be fair for me to blame you for something you did before we even met. I think last night was shocking for both of us. Let's move on and never talk about it again.

BUFFY: Pretend it didn't happen? That's your solution?

WOOD: I'm not mad at you. I just don't understand you. And I don't want to. I came to Sunnydale to help you fight evil, not to date you. I think we should both get back to work.

At the far end of the commons, Dawn and Connor sit on one side of the table and Kit sits on the other. Elijah stands near the soda machine at the near end of the commons, glancing occasionally at Kit.

DAWN: Hey Kit. I think that guy's checking you out.

Kit looks over at Elijah. He turns his head, pretends he's not paying attention.

KIT: That's Elijah. We met last night at the Bronze. He seems . . . interesting.

DAWN: Restraining order interesting or you wanna get to know him better interesting?

KIT: The second one. I'll be right back.

DAWN: Take your time. Don't worry about us.

ELIJAH: Hi Kit.

KIT: Hey Elijah.

ELIJAH: Did you have fun last night?

KIT: Might have had more fun if you danced with me. Why didn't you? Usually when I guy comes on to you, he doesn't reject you five minutes later.

ELIJAH: I Wasn't rejecting you. I thought things were going good and I didn't wanna press my luck, risk looking stupid. You want to do something together sometime? There's a band at the Bronze on Wednesday, and if you didn't have any plans –

KIT: I might. Have plans. But if I do, I can always change them.

ELIJAH: That's great. I'll talk to you later. See ya.

Elijah walks away happy. Kit leaves the commons, as do Dawn and Connor and everybody else. They have to go to homeroom. Dawn and Connor cross paths with Amanda and PRESTON, who are also holding hands.

AMANDA: Dawn!? You and Connor?

DAWN: Yeah. We're kind of very together.

Amanda is surprised. Like the other Potentials, she thinks Dawn's too normal to draw Connor's interest. But now that she has PRESTON, she's not jealous.

CONNOR: Hi Amanda. [looks at PRESTON] Have we met?

PRESTON: More than once. So you're going out with Dawn?

Preston didn't think Connor was a one-woman guy.

CONNOR: She makes me happy. [looks at Amanda] Is he the guy you saved the other night?

Amanda's a bit nervous. She doesn't want to make Preston seem like a helpless wimp just because he's dating the girl who saved his life.

AMANDA: I like to think we saved each other. [decides to change the subject] You have a game tomorrow night, don't you?

PRESTON: Yeah. A home game. You coming?

AMANDA: Of course.

They go their way, Dawn and Connor go the the other way.

DAWN: When did she save Preston?

Connor whispers the story in her ear. Dawn laughs. Connor doesn't realize that he's brought two couples together (Amanda-Preston, Lacey-Edgar) by making the men jealous of him. He seems to have become something of an unwitting Cupid at Sunnydale High.

DAWN: She just kissed him, right there in front of everyone? That is so adorable! Amanda always wondered what she had to do to get his attention. Thank God for slaying. I have to go. Thanks for walking me to school.

CONNOR: Thanks for . . . walking me home last night. [smirks]

She kisses him. He kisses her back. Connor puts his arms around her waist, Dawn puts her arms around his shoulders, and they kiss for a little while longer. Kit's getting her books from her locker.

Dawn pulls her head back, takes a deep breath, sighs.

DAWN: I kinda hafta go now.

Connor quickly kisses her again and then walks down the hall. Dawn sighs again and watches him walk away. Kit comes up to her. Dawn turns to talk to Kit as they walk to homeroom.

DAWN: So when did you and Elijah hook up?

KIT: Forget about us. When did you and Connor get so serious? I didn't even know you were an item, let alone making puppy love googly eyes at one another.

DAWN: It was last night. We did a lot of talking.

KIT: I saw you and Connor at the Bronze doing a lot of something else.

DAWN: Well, there was also the . . . not talking part. I can't explain. We just clicked perfectly. I couldn't believe how great things were going. I feel so lucky. Connor is absolutely amazing.

KIT: Are we talking about more than looks?

DAWN: Yeah. Everything about his is unbelievable. [she's right. Kit wouldn't believe Connor's story if Dawn told it to her.] Sweet and kind and passionate and understanding. And the looks aren't bad. Okay, they're also amazing.

KIT: He does have the face of an angel.

DAWN: No. His is better.

Connor barges into Spike's crypt. He wakes up, startled and ready for a fight. He grabs an ax.

CONNOR: I'm not here to fight.

SPIKE: Then you won't mind if I hold onto this until I believe you. Don't touch anything wooden.

CONNOR: I don't want to kill you anymore.

SPIKE: You understand why I don't trust you. I have no problem with people who want to kill me, as long as they're up front about it. I do have a problem with treachery. You father never did, in case you're interested. If you hate Angelus so much, why are you taking after him?

Connor gets mad. But he decides to let it pass.

CONNOR: I'm not here to talk about my dad. I want to talk to you about my mom.

SPIKE: Darla.

Spike puts down the ax. He realizes Connor is too curious to kill.

CONNOR: You knew her.

SPIKE: For twenty years. Can't say I know her well, though. Truth be told, the woman couldn't stand me. Thought I was rude and boorish and uncivilized. Always getting the gang in trouble. Lets just say I wasn't her type. Doesn't mean I didn't like her. I admired your mum. As vampires go, she was a great lady. A true class act. Graceful and elegant and beautiful. She had a way of gliding across a room, while I had a knack for stomping across a room. We did have one thing in common. We could love.

CONNOR: You can't love without a soul.

SPIKE: It's hard. But not impossible. Lots a vampires THINK they can love. Most of em can't. They'll love someone when that person is around and useful to them. Once he isn't, she forgets about him. It's opportunistic love, which isn't the real thing. [he talking about Dru.] Real love isn't just about pleasure. It's about suffering, loving someone when they can't do you any good, when they don't even want to be around you. Your mum and I were the only vampires I know of who could love like that. Darla loved Angelus. And Angel. She tried to stay with him even after he got his soul. And she never stopped loving him. You'd think a century would be enough time to get over a bloke. With your mother it wasn't. Even when it brought her nothing but loneliness and pain, even when there was no chance he'd want her back, your mum loved your dad. And I'm sure she loved you. Sacrificing herself so someone she loved could live, – that's certainly something the Darla I knew would have done. And she's the only vampire I know who could have. Guess that makes you lucky she's your mum.

CONNOR: I know she loved me. I didn't know she loved my dad. Thanks.

SPIKE: You're welcome. By the way, how are things with Dawn?

He's trying to make sure Connor's intentions are not as ignoble as Buffy fears.

CONNOR: Great. She's great. Never met anyone like her. She makes me very happy. I think she's the reason I came here.

SPIKE: That's sweet. Except for the fate part, which is always bollocks. You care about Dawn?

CONNOR: Of course. More than anyone in the world.

This isn't necessarily saying much, because right now Connor doesn't care about his dad, or his dad's friends, or Buffy and any of her friends.

SPIKE: You sound sincere enough. Now please sod off and let me get back to sleep.

CONNOR: It was nice to hear someone else say good stuff about my mother.

SPIKE: It's nothing. I've always had a soft spot for strong women.

Connor walks home. He's very happy. His world is looking up. When he enters his house, he is startled to see someone standing in the great hall.

CONNOR: Mom!?

[Next: While FE Darla turns Connor into an agent of the First, Elijah goes into the school basement for a smoke and meets FE Spike, as well as some other dead people.]


	22. Darla brings Connor into the Family Feud

[Darla convinces Connor to kill Buffy. Elijah meets Spike circa 1979 and discovers what it means to live on a Hellmouth. Plus, Cordy uses magic to do some serious damage to Willow. And you know Willow won't let Cordelia get away with something like that.]

Darla wears a long, white sleeveless dress.

DARLA: It's been so long. You've grown into such a handsome, strong young man. I'm so proud of you. You've given me the only true joy I've ever known.

CONNOR: I love you mom. I always will.

DARLA: And I'll never stop loving you. Never stop watching over you, keeping you safe. And keeping the people you love safe.

CONNOR: I know. You helped me watch over Holtz. That's how I knew you were good.

DARLA: Your father will soon be good again. He loves you. Just like I do. And he'll need you, just like I do.

CONNOR: Other people need me more.

DARLA: Yes, I've noticed. My son's finally got a girlfriend.

CONNOR: Stop it mom. [he blushes]

DARLA: I like her. Dawn's a wonderful girl. Her heart will always belong to you. Just like mine does. But someone wants to keep her away from you.

CONNOR: Buffy. Is she the danger you came to warn me about?

Darla's always come to warn Connor about an imminent danger or comfort him when he's scared and confused.

DARLA: Yes son. Buffy hates you. She hates the fact that you exist. It pains her just to look at you. Because you destroyed her dream.

CONNOR: How did I do that?

DARLA: By being born. She hates you for just being born.

On the back of the couch appears Buffy's old high school notebook. Connor can clearly see where Buffy wrote "Buffy n Angel 4 eva." He looks distressed.

DARLA: This was Buffy's dream. Her only dream. To be with Angel. If Buffy got her wish, Angel would have stayed here. With her. And you never could have been born.

CONNOR: That's true. I never thought about it like that before.

DARLA: She has. And she still wants to be with Angel. But that can never happen so long as you're around. Angel would never abandon you. And Buffy could never accept you. She looks at you, and she sees me, and she's jealous. Jealous because the Higher Powers chose me instead of her. Jealous because she can never bear his child.

Connor hears Buffy's disembodied voice in his head: "I loved Angel, and I would have done anything to be with him."

CONNOR: She would kill me, so she could have my dad. Is she going to kill me?

DARLA: Buffy will kill anything that tries to get between her and Angel. Even human beings. This wouldn't be the first time she's tried.

Reference to when she stabbed Faith. Darla's assertion is factually true, but distorted by the omission of context.

CONNOR: Buffy's a murderer?

DARLA: She tried to be. But she failed. Her victim only ended up in a coma for nine months. She was strong, like you. She was a Slayer. And yet she lost. When Angel is involved, Buffy turns into an animal. She tears anything that stands in her way to shreds.

CONNOR: Why did dad love her?

DARLA: Because the Higher Powers introduced her to him when he was alone and without hope. Angel has always needed a strong woman to look after him.

CONNOR: Like you.

DARLA: Like me. They chose the Slayer, who at that time happened to be Buffy. She inspired him to fight evil. But there was a tragic flaw. He became dependent on her. He can't resist her. He knows this. That's why Angel had to leave, to start his own life free from Buffy's presence. Buffy allowed him to do this because she thought that no matter where Angel was his heart would always belong to her.

CONNOR: Does she have him under a spell?

DARLA: The feelings are real, but they're not part of the real world.

CONNOR: I don't understand what that means.

DARLA: Buffy and Angel created a fantasy world where they can go whenever they're together. They do it to escape their problems. It's like a drug. She's an addiction. When he's with Buffy, Angel feels happy. But he's not a leader. He's not a champion. He's just hers. All he cares about is making her happy. He becomes nothing. When he gets his soul back, Angel will come here to see Buffy. And he'll become trapped. You're the only one who can save him.

CONNOR: I'm not a killer.

DARLA: You're a warrior. A champion. Just like your father. Think of all the lives Angel will save if he doesn't become Buffy's toy again. Think of all the lives you'll save by taking hers.

CONNOR: I don't want another person's blood on my hands.

DARLA: You'll be doing Buffy a favor. When I was pregnant with you, Buffy died. She went to Heaven. She was happy there. Happier than she ever was on earth. Her soul was finally at peace. But she was brought back to life. She didn't want to return. It hurt her more than you can imagine. All she wants is to go back to Heaven. She's earned it. She belongs there. She'll thank you.

CONNOR: I can't do that to Dawn. I can't kill Dawn's sister.

DARLA: Dawn in NOT Buffy's sister! You know that, Connor! She was tricked into believing Buffy was her sister. False memories. False history. Buffy WAS Dawn's protector. That was why Dawn was sent to her. Buffy's done her job. Dawn doesn't need her anymore.

CONNOR: She has me. I'm her protector now.

DARLA: You will be when you've sent Buffy to Heaven. Think of all the good you'll be doing. Angel will be free. Dawn will be with you forever. Buffy will bask in God's glow for the rest of eternity. Everyone wins.

CONNOR: Buffy's tough. Even tougher than my father. I might fail.

DARLA: And if you don't try she will kill you tomorrow night. She will enslave Angel. Dawn will lose the one person she belongs with in this world. I know I'm putting a lot of pressure on you, son. But you're a man now. People depend on you. You can't let them down. And I know you won't.

CONNOR: How do you know that? Because you can see the future?

DARLA: Because I'm your mother. Because I've always had faith in you. It was a miracle that you survived Quor Toth. It was a miracle that you were even born. Compared to what you've had to overcome, this will be easy. I love you Connor. Don't let your mother down. You never have before.

CONNOR: I love you too, mom.

Darla disappears. Connor sits on the couch for a while, trying to think this through. He never planned on killing Buffy. But his mother had never steered him wrong in the past.

Elijah walks down into the basement and turns on the light. He has just finished an 80 minute Chemistry lab, and needs a quick nicotine fix. He pulls out two cigarettes, put them both in his mouth, and lights them. He takes a long drag on both of them, takes them out of his mouth – one in each hand –and exhales through his nostrils.

ELIJAH: Oh yeah. That's better.

He takes a puff on the one in his left hand, then puts the one in his right hand between his lips. He smokes that one while he carries the other cigarette between his left index and middle fingers. He walks around the basement, and spots a yellowed newspaper on the floor. He picks it up.

ELIJAH: NME? 1979? Sid Vicious in custody for the murder of . . .

He looks at his left hand and sees that the cigarette he was holding has vanished. He hears footsteps behind him. Elijah turns around and sees Spike. His hair is shaggier than it currently is. He wears a metal chain around his neck, a torn "I Hate Pink Floyd" t-shirt with a safety pin in it, black boots and blue jeans torn at the knees. Spike is smoking what appears to be Elijah's cigarette. Elijah drops the paper. The other cigarette dangles limply from his lips as he stands there in shock. Spike paces back and forth in front of him, occasionally looking the dumbfounded Elijah right in the eyes as he talks and rambles on at a breakneck pace.

SPIKE: Speaking through his attorney, Mister Vicious claimed that when he passed out, Nancy Spungen was alive, and that when he regained conscious he found her dead on the floor with a stab wound IN HER NECK. And nobody believed him. Why should they? Sid was violent. He was seen arguing with Nancy, publicly threatening to kill her. The bloke had means, motive, opportunity. But he was telling the bloody truth! I saw the whole thing. Hell, it was my idea. We walked in. They're drugged out of their bleeding minds. Not that they used their minds to begin with. Dru bites Nancy. I'm supposed to bite Sid. But I have second thoughts. The wanker had just taken every drug he could shoot, smoke and swallow. I didn't want that junk in my system. Heroin and ludes and tranquilizers and mescaline and who knows what else. Dru didn't mind. Doesn't effect her. She was loopy to begin with. Besides, by then Sid was a walking suicide. I knew he'd be dead in a couple months. And in the meantime, why not have a little fun framing him for murder? Ah, the Chelsea Hotel. I remember it well. Public accommodations, unlimited access. Though I never killed anyone in there who had talent. And somehow I get called the one without a soul. Dan Fogelberg, Christopher bloody Cross, Barry BLEEDING MANILOW – they're the soulless monsters!

Spike vanishes. Elijah doesn't quite know what to make of all this. He takes another drag on his cigarette.

ELIJAH: Last time I pull two all-nighters in a row. That was some hallucination. Stay up all night listening to the Buzzcocks, Husker Du and Black Flag – and this is what happens. Which way did I come in? Everything's so damn monotonous down here.

He wonders around lost for about 30 seconds.

ELIJAH: I better hurry or I'll be late for gym. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't hurry.

Four dead people with hideous wounds walk towards him, muttering about how he's disturbed their resting place, how he's intruding where he doesn't belong. Elijah sprints the other way until he runs into someone.

CARLOS: Yo! Watch out.

ELIJAH: You're . . . you're not one of them?

CARLOS: One of who?

Elijah takes a few deep breaths. He is sure this will sound crazy.

ELIJAH: I don't wanna sound all Haley Joel, but I think I just saw dead people.

CARLOS: I thought they avoided this part of the basement.

ELIJAH: What!!? You've seen them?

CARLOS: Come on up.

They both run up the stairs into the hallway, where Kit is standing, waiting for Carlos. Kit and Elijah are shocked to see each other.

KIT: What are you doing here?

ELIJAH: Running. From something down there.

KIT: Carlos, what happened?

ELIJAH: You two know each other?

CARLOS: I was gonna ask you the same question.

KIT: This is Elijah. We're going out . . . on Wednesday.

CARLOS: Really! Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Carlos.

KIT: Did he see dead people?

ELIJAH: You've seen them too?

KIT: That's how we met and became friends. Same with Dawn.

ELIJAH: Is there like a whole basement social scene I haven't heard about?

CARLOS: Just a few people. Wrong place, right time. Gotta be careful down there. Stay near the stairs. Don't wander. When did you get together with Kit?

ELIJAH: We met last night.

CARLOS: How'd I miss this?

KIT: It was right after you went off with Denise.

CARLOS: Guess spring really is the season for romance. What year are you?

ELIJAH: Senior. Are you telling me that I just saw what I thought I just saw. That that stuff was real? How can that be real? People don't appear and then vanish in the blink of an eye.

CARLOS: Are you new to this town?

ELIJAH: I've lived here since I was seven.

CARLOS: And you never wondered about all the mysterious deaths?

ELIJAH: Young people die. High risk behavior. I assumed it was drugs. A heroin epidemic.

KIT: Interesting analogy.

ELIJAH: For what?

KIT: Vampires.

Dawn told Kit and Carlos about them so they would be careful when they went out at night. After their experiences that first day of school, Kit and Carlos were very receptive to the paranormal. Elijah is still a skeptic. He laughs for a few seconds.

ELIJAH: You're joking, right? This is all some brilliant practical joke you put together to impress me. Isn't it, Kit?

Kit takes hold of hit right hand and looks him in the eyes sincerely.

KIT: I'm not joking.

ELIJAH: Vampires. You mean like in the movies?

CARLOS: Without the capes. Or so I've heard.

ELIJAH: But, but, I didn't see a vampire. That was something else.

KIT: There's a lotta something else's in this town.

ELIJAH: Whoa. Now I wish it really was heroin. Then that drug dealer I saw last night wasn't a drug dealer? He was a vampire? He killed those people?

KIT: Quite possibly.

CARLOS: I'm surprised you haven't noticed all the odd things that go on in this school. Remember the two-day riot?

ELIJAH: I remember my chemistry teacher leaving the gas on after he turned extinguished the bunsen burners, and when he lit them again the ceiling caught on fire, and I ran out of class, and I heard Econ and English were cancelled, so I left. The next day the radio said school was out because of a broken water main. There was a riot? And there are vampires out killing people and nobody notices? How can you keep a lid on stuff like that?

KIT: You should talk to Buffy Summers.

ELIJAH: Who?

KIT: The guidance counselor. The young one who started this year. She's really cool.

CARLOS: And she kicks ass. When we were downstairs, she saved our lives. Buffy's someone you want around when you're in trouble.

ELIJAH: What is she, a guidance counselor slash security guard?

KIT: She does the ass-kicking for free. You really should talk to her. She knows a lot more about this stuff than we do.

ELIJAH: Somehow knowing that there's a lot more to know is not terribly comforting. Boy, does gym sound fun right about now.

Elijah rushes off.

Its 10 am. Willow, Anya, Xander and Giles are in the dining room. Willow sits at the far end of the table with her magic paraphernalia carefully laid out before her. Giles stands across the table from her. Xander stands to Willow's right. Anya stands to Giles's left.

XANDER: Shouldn't we wait for Buffy to come home?

ANYA: How could she help?

XANDER: I just thought she would want to be here.

GILES: You have the proper text? And all the materials? I thought Angelus destroyed your Orb of Thessala last night.

WILLOW: I have like six of them.

ANYA: They're very cheap to mass-produce. Vessels for a priceless object, made in Malaysia for pennies on the dollar. Isn't it wonderful what the industrial age has done for the magic business?

GILES: Wonderful wasn't quite the word I had in mind. These aren't made by gypsies?

ANYA: Sure they are. And a big fat man brings you presents each Christmas on his flying sleigh. You've been buying overpriced third world knock-off relics for most of your adult life. So worldly, yet so naive.

WILLOW: People, I'm ready.

They light their candles and get in position. Willow recites the incantation. The Orb lights up. She becomes temporarily possessed and starts speaking Latin. It's all just like before. She looks upwards and finishes speaking. The Orb turns black. Willow keeps speaking. Xander and Giles become worried. Giles can understand what she's saying, and he doesn't like the sound of it. Willow's eyes turn blood-red. Actual blood starts flowing from beneath her fingernails. Black veins appear on her face and neck.

XANDER: This is wrong. Something's very wrong!

GILES: I think she's being possessed.

XANDER: Possessed by what?

ANYA: Angel's soul!?

GILES: No. We have to stop this.

Willow stands up. Fire shoots out of her mouth, forcing Giles, Xander and Anya to leap away from Willow and hit the deck. Blood starts trickling out of Willow's ears and nostrils. Her eyes turn purple. She screams. Winds swirl around the dining room, blowing out the candles and knocking all the magic paraphernalia – save the blackened orb – to the ground. Giles tries to reach Willow, but a bolt of energy shoots out from her left palm and knocks him down. Cuts appear on Willow's arms and shoulders. Finally, Xander leaps towards the table and smashes the orb with his left fist. The chaos ends. Willow falls to the ground.

In Los Angeles, Cordy sits on her bed, looking into the vessel containing Angel's soul. In her mind, while the spell was in progress, she could see everything that happened in Buffy's dining room. Cordy is laughing. This has made her day.

The Potentials, who were outside training, hear the commotion. Kennedy rushes into the dining room.

KENNEDY: Willow!! What happened to Willow!?

GILES: She tried to restore Angel's soul. Something went wrong.

Kennedy kneels at Willow's side and tries to comfort her.

KENNEDY: Willow? Honey? Are you alright. Can you speak? It's me.

Willow opens her eyes. She looks around at Kennedy, Giles, Xander and Anya. Her voice is weak but determined.

WILLOW: How did she fool me? How did SHE fool ME?

GILES: Who?

WILLOW: Cordy.

XANDER: Excuse me?

WILLOW: Angel's soul isn't in the ether.

ANYA: If the soul wasn't there for the taking, how could you start the spell to begin with?

WILLOW: A glammer! She tricked me with a goddam glammer! Never in my life have I been so humiliated. Outsmarted by Cordelia!! I can't believe this is happening.

GILES: You're telling me that from 90 miles away Cordelia tapped into your spell and invaded your body?

WILLOW: My God you're right! She was inside me, hurting me, bleeding me –

ANYA: Making you breathe fire?

XANDER: Cordy's that powerful?

GILES: You heard about the rain of fire.

XANDER: That's right – heard. It's a whole lot different when you see it up close.

KENNEDY: You need to rest. I'll take you upstairs.

WILLOW: I need to prepare. The game's changed. She wants a fight, I'll give her one.

Willow stands up, then almost falls down again. Kennedy props her right shoulder, and Xander her left. Her nose is still bleeding. There's blood in her mouth. Her arms are cut, and her fingernails are bloody. Her eyes look vacant and blank.

WILLOW: And by prepare, I mean rest. At least for now.

KENNEDY: Let's get you into bed. I'll bring up some tea.

Giles and Anya are left to pick up the wreckage.

ANYA: I'm very worried.

GILES: As am I. We now know Cordelia can come after us.

ANYA: No. I'm worried about Willow.

GILES: She'll recover. You know how strong she is.

ANYA: That's why I'm worried. Did you hear what she said? Willow declared war on Cordelia. Were already at war with the First. Which means as of now we're fighting a two-front war. We're Germany! Willow said she is going to go bad and try to overpower Cordelia. 

GILES: That's not what she said. Willow's going to outsmart her. Cordelia is very powerful, but not very knowledgeable.

ANYA: She said fight. She's mad. Cordy hurt her and wounded her pride. Willow wants vengeance.

GILES: Willow has grown as a person and as a wiccan. She is more mature than that now.

ANYA: I hope you're right. But if the world ends unexpectedly, don't say I didn't warn you.

Connor walks down to the docks. He kicks open the door of a warehouse. The sun shines in down the middle of the long, narrow shed. The vampires inside cower along the walls. The see Connor enter, the light behind him creating an impressive silhouette effect. Most of the vampires are terrified. Their leader isn't.

ZACK: Well now. Look what we have here. Vampire junior.

The other vampires relax and laugh.

LANCE: You wanna kill us, or hang out with us? Try to get back to your roots.

More snickering. Connor looks serene.

CONNOR: I want Buffy dead. And I think you can help me with that.


	23. Say Hello to Heaven

Near the end of the school day, Elijah walks into the guidance office.

ELIJAH: Are you Buffy Summers? I'm Elijah.

BUFFY: Elijah! Nice to finally meet you.

ELIJAH: Finally?

BUFFY: Kit mentioned you to me. How long have you two been dating?

ELIJAH: We haven't. We going to – how do you know so much? Isn't this sort of stuff supposed to be private?

BUFFY: I'm sorry. [she looks at his file] You're 16. That's a little young for a senior.

ELIJAH: My birthday's in two weeks. And I skipped a grade.

BUFFY: So you're smart. And look at these grades. Wow. This must be what Willow's report cards looked like.

ELIJAH: Who?

BUFFY: Never mind. I just wanted to tell you that you're not crazy. What you saw was real.

ELIJAH: I get that. But I keep fearing I'm scratching the surface of the tip of the iceberg. Pardon the mixed metaphor cocktail.

BUFFY: You're right. There's a lot of weird and dangerous stuff in this town.

ELIJAH: Like vampires. Kit wasn't joking about that, wasn't she?

BUFFY: Vampires are very real. And they're definitely not a joke. I've been killing them for years. Well, most of them. Otherwise the town would have been overrun a long time ago.

ELIJAH: Does this mean Dracula was a work of non-fiction?

BUFFY: It contains numerous and glaring inaccuracies. The story itself is made up. But Dracula's real. He's not here. Well, he was for a couple days a while back, but he won't be returning anytime soon.

ELIJAH: It's so scary. Not just the vampires. But the willful blindness. People die, and no one does anything about it. Except for you, I guess. Why is that?

BUFFY: I have special powers. It's a long story.

ELIJAH: You're like Connor!? [Buffy scowls]

BUFFY: No. More powerful that Connor. You guys have met?

ELIJAH: I've heard about him. And seen him with Dawn. She's best friends with Kit. Do you know Dawn?

BUFFY: We're sisters.

ELIJAH: Oh. So is that how you know Kit?

BUFFY: Yeah.

ELIJAH: That must be weird for Dawn. Having her older sister on the faculty. Although you don't look that much older. Did you go here? I mean to the school that was here before.

BUFFY: I graduated in '99.

ELIJAH: You were four years ahead of me. That means when you were a senior, I was in eighth grade, and I came over here each day for first period to take Spanish. We were both students here at the same time. That's wild. We probably passed each other on the stairs in the courtyard and never knew it. Did weird stuff happen in that school, too?

BUFFY: Oh yeah.

ELIJAH: Is this a Sunnydale thing? The vampires and the walking dead?

BUFFY: We get more than our share.

ELIJAH: That would explain the depressed property values. Is Sunnydale cursed? You know, a center of bad vibrations?

BUFFY: That an interesting way of putting it.

ELIJAH: Does this mean the old school didn't accidentally blow up on its own? I always knew there was more to that story. I checked it out, and no school has ever accidentally exploded. Ever. Much less during graduation. And that was your graduating class. Talk about "apres moi le deluge."

Elijah laughs. Buffy's confused. She doesn't get his very appropriate historical allusion.

ELIJAH: I don't mean to joke about it. People died. Did any of your friends die?

BUFFY: We were lucky.

ELIJAH: One question. When you're out at night, and you see someone who's pale and wearing outdated fashions, should you assume they're a vampire?

BUFFY: That's actually a very good rule of thumb. I thought you've never seen a vampire?

ELIJAH: Last night, I saw a person at the Bronze who was acting conspicuously suspicious. In hindsight I think he was a vampire. Didn't have fangs or a cape of anything like that. Do there wear capes?

BUFFY: No. That fashion statement's too outdated even for them.

ELIJAH: Interesting talking to you, Buffy. I have a calc test I need to get to. I'll tell Kit thanks for referring me to you.

Elijah walks out. He passes by Connor in the hallway.

ELIJAH: Sorry to bug you, but are you Connor? I saw you with Dawn this morning. I'm Elijah. [puts out his hand. Connor shakes it] Kit's friend. Well, boyfriend. Potential boyfriend.

CONNOR: Hey Elijah. Kit's nice. She cares about Dawn.

ELIJAH: Well, that's what friends are for. Guess I'll be seeing you around. Do you go here?

CONNOR: I am here.

ELIJAH: Fair enough. Are you a student here?

CONNOR: No.

ELIJAH: Then are you like Buffy? [Connor scowls] Are you here to protect people? [Connor smiles]

CONNOR: Yeah. I do that.

ELIJAH: Do you fight vampires?

The hallway's empty, so Elijah's not nervous about sounding nuts.

CONNOR: I hunt and kill them.

ELIJAH: Well then. I really do hope to see you around. Especially if I'm alone in a dark alley. Nice meeting you.

CONNOR: Nice meeting you too.

Connor walks into the guidance office to talk to Buffy. She is not happy to see him.

CONNOR: I'm sorry.

BUFFY: You're sorry you attacked me?

CONNOR: Yeah. I didn't want to hurt you. I just wanted to keep you from getting involved. I thought Robin deserved a chance to kill Spike. But I don't think that anymore.

BUFFY: I guess we all learned something last night. A lot of something. It feels weird, seeing you now that I know who you are.

CONNOR: How do you think I feel? You loved my father. When you were my age! And he loved you. I just wish I could forget that part.

BUFFY: I can see how this would be awkward for you.

CONNOR: That's not why I'm here. Those things are in the past. They should stay there. You're a great fighter. Maybe the greatest. Spike and my dad seem to think so. Remember Saturday? When we killed that big demon? You and me, we made a pretty good team.

BUFFY: We had our moments.

CONNOR: I think we should do that again. Fight together. You've been doing this longer than I have. Maybe you could teach me a thing or two.

Buffy smiles.

BUFFY: I have wanted to teach you a lesson.

CONNOR: How bout tonight? I found a nest by the docks. We hit them early, surprise them, dust em before they know what's happening.

BUFFY: I took down a nest there last summer. Guess a new group's moved in.

CONNOR: I'll be by at 8. I'm leaving for LA any day now, so I wanna learn what I can from you before I go back home.

Connor leaves. Buffy's happy. Connor was actually complimenting her. He has one advantage over Angelus: Connor can look innocent. Buffy thinks Spike was right. Connor really was just confused. Now he was beginning to understand the world, and to respect Buffy.

At the end of the school day, Buffy walks out to the parking lot. She is about to open her car door when she spots Dawn and Connor and Kit and Elijah leaving school together. They're talking and smiling and looking friendly. And then for an instant, Buffy sees Darla, Angelus, Drusilla and Spike. She rubs her eyes. Dawn, Connor, Kit and Elijah reappear. She's certainly wigged, but Buffy assumes this was just a reaction to the shock of learning that Connor is Angel's son. Plus Kit's a tall brunette who likes to wear black and Elijah's skinny and blonde and boyishly handsome.

Buffy comes home and spots six Potentials sitting in front of the television, watching a Britney Spears video. Buffy grabs the remote and turns the television off.

BUFFY: Giles, why aren't they training? Don't they have better things to do than sit around watching this, this mindless blather?

Giles's face lights up.

GILES: Did you just call television mindless blather? I never dreamed this day would come.

Buffy rounds up the rest of the Potentials and along with Giles goes outside and leads them through two more hours of training and teaching. And the end of the workout, the Potentials go shower and wash up while Buffy heads into the kitchen.

BUFFY: Andrew, have you seen Dawn?

ANDREW: No. But then again I've been too busy cooking. Falafel and blintzes and chicken curry and mushi pork. I'm trying my best to make our overseas guests feel at home. Can we get another oven? I don't know how many more times I can pull off dinner for 20 in this kitchen without resorting to the black arts.

BUFFY: I'm glad you found a hobby. A non-evil hobby. [she walks away]

ANDREW: No one appreciates me. Slaving over a hot stove all day. Doesn't she know an army travels on its stomach? Oh goodie. My lamb kabobs are just about ready.

Buffy goes into the small sitting room between the living room and the kitchen. Willow is reading.

BUFFY: Hey Will. What are you reading?

WILLOW: The Hymn of Inanna. You know, Ishtar. Goddess of War and Love. More powerful than any other God. Strength of 120 men.

BUFFY: That's 12 times as strong as me. What did she do?

WILLOW: In this story, she sends the man she loves to Hell because it's the only way she can save her own life. It's complicated. You see, she dies because of something to do with her younger sister, and then a friend of hers who's a witch performs this spell that brings her back to life. But there's complications.

Buffy laughs.

BUFFY: You're pulling my leg, aren't you?

WILLOW: Why would I – oh! I never thought about her that way. Ishtar's not like you at all. She's more of a rogue uber-Slayer. Massacres men just to remind humans how powerful she is. Sexually insatiable. Sleeps with lots of men, but they can never replace the one true love she's lost. So Ishtar's more like Faith. Except for the tragic love part.

BUFFY: When was this written?

WILLOW: About 5000 years ago. By the Sumerians.

BUFFY: Sumerians wrote a lot about Slayers. I've never read any of it, but Giles is always pointing to something and saying "It's in Sumerian." Is Ishtar based on the Slayer?

WILLOW: Interesting theory. She does always takes the form of a young woman. Usually a teenager. But she has no mission, no Watcher, no one who can control her, or even try to teach her. So she's very different. I wonder what Giles would make of your theory.

BUFFY: So how are you doing?

WILLOW: Better. I'm getting good with the meditative healing. I should be back to normal by tomorrow.

BUFFY: No need to hurry. I can't believe Cordy could do that. I mean, I know she WOULD. I just didn't think she had that kind of power.

WILLOW: It's not her. It's something inside her. A demon. I could feel it.

BUFFY: What kind?

WILLOW: It doesn't have form. Kinda beyond our senses. And ancient. Probably even older than Glory.

BUFFY: It's a god?

WILLOW: Before gods. It's something primordial. It has desires and urges but doesn't have a body. Doesn't have an identity. That's why it needs Cordelia. She's its vessel.

BUFFY: And you know all this how – ?

WILLOW: It was inside my body, in the marrow of my bones. But only for an instant. You know how Giles said everything's connected? That's how I unmasked it. On my own, I couldn't tell what it was. But I saw how it connected to the earth, to things inside the earth. The gods trembled.

BUFFY: Cordy scares gods?

WILLOW: The thing inside her does. But I know how to defeat it. Take the demon out of Cordelia. Then it's helpless.

BUFFY: Exorcism?

WILLOW: Something like that. Then Angel's soul will be free and I can give it back to him.

BUFFY: And what about Cordy?

WILLOW: She'll go back to being her old self. No longer evil. Okay, maybe she'll still be a little evil. But not dangerously evil. I just need a few days to prepare.

Giles hangs up the phone.

GILES: Great news everyone! That was Wesley. The sun rose in Los Angeles this morning!

ANYA: Does this mean we go back to being THE epicenter of demon activity in Southern California? We're number one.

ANDREW: Go Hellmouth, it's you're birthday. We're gonna party like it's – ah! The blintzes are getting too crispy.

BUFFY: How does this help us?

GILES: Connor fled after the sun disappeared. Now that it's back, Los Angeles is safe enough for Connor to return. Even better, Wesley believes that Beast demon – the one which had a yen for tossing Connor around like a rag doll – is dead.

BUFFY: Hallelujah. Let's find Connor and drive him back right now.

ANYA: After all, it's not like anything's keeping him here. [Dawn walks in through the back door] My timing is impeccable!

BUFFY: You're home a few hours late from school.

DAWN: I was a Kit's. [Buffy looks dubious]

BUFFY: You were with KIT?

DAWN: And Connor. And Elijah. We were all hanging out over there.

BUFFY: The four of you. [Buffy flashes back to that disturbing vision of another quartet. But she decides that's better than Dawn being alone with Connor.] I met Elijah, by the way. He seems like a good kid.

DAWN: He's great. Really sweet. Got along really well with Connor. [Buffy goes back to the flashback] I know. They're complete opposites. But that's why Connor likes him. And then they started playing Soul Blade on Kit's PlayStation, and Elijah kept beating Connor because, well, Elijah's played a lot more video games than Connor. He was getting so frustrated, cause it's a fighting game and all. Connor's so cute when he's frustrated.

ANYA: Did he try to beat up Elijah? You know, cause he couldn't do it virtually?

DAWN: Of course not! Connor knows the difference between images and reality. [not quite true]

Angelus comes downstairs wearing black slacks and a black long-sleeve v-neck shirt.

ANGELUS: What's going on? Why are they fleeing like this is Saigon and it's 1975? Now more than ever, this is the only safe place for vampires in Los Angeles.

OSCAR: Most of them aren't from Los Angeles. They're going back home. This town has lost its comparative advantage. No need to worry, boss. I fleeced them when they entered. Took all their valuables I could get my hands on. The exodus is not costing you much, even though the majority of the guests have left and we're only at 44% capacity.

CECIL: I see this as a blessing in disguise. Look at it this way, boss. The out-of-towners have already been gouged. Their marginal value is quite low. When they leave, that opens up more rooms for locals, for vampires we have yet to gouge. You're trading low-margin customers for high-margin customers. Like you said boss, this is still the only safe place in town. With the Slayer on the warpath, business should be looking up.

ANGELUS: Good point, Cecil. Tonight I stay in. We all do. How many people do we have stockpiled in the basement?

CECIL: 37.

ANGELUS: We have a feast. Then we dismantle the cages. We only did the hoarding for our patrons. Sure, the party's over. But the fun's just begun. We stay put, Faith hunts other vampires, forcing them into our arms. She and her Slayerettes concentrate our strength. And then tomorrow night we just roll right over her.

Angelus's charisma and vision wins over the traitorous Oscar and Cecil, at least for the time being. They'll wait and see how tomorrow night pans out.

GUNN: Is Connor coming back?

WES: Hopefully. Giles can tell him the good news.

FAITH: I'll just take a guess and say that by now LA is safer than Sunnydale. Add that to the fact that he already hated B, that everyone's probably looking at him funny now that they know he's Angel's, and that nobody wants to hang around a girl who boinked his dad –

FRED: He'll feel even more uncomfortable there than he does here.

LINDSEY: How adorable. You two finishing each other's sentences.

Fred and Faith look at each other and shudder. Gunn and Wes are both simultaneously weirded out and turned on. They enjoy the fantasy of Fred as a badass Slayer.

At 8 pm, Connor comes over to meet Buffy. Dawn is in her bedroom doing homework. Giles tells Connor the news.

CONNOR: Did they see his body? Did they see the Beast's body?

GILES: Actually they have not seen any sign of him for at least a week. Combine that with the fact that the sun has returned –

CONNOR: But Angelus is still around.

GILES: And you can help them contain him.

CONNOR: They don't want me fighting him. They're afraid I'll try to kill him. May be best if I stay away. You said they have a Slayer.

GILES: And you can fight alongside her. You won't have to fight alone.

CONNOR: Is she like Buffy? [Giles chuckles]

GILES: She is, to be honest, the complete opposite of Buffy – in terms of personality and demeanor. [Connor smiles]

CONNOR: I'll think about it. I could go back tomorrow morning. [Buffy smiles]

BUFFY: Sounds good. Now let's go kill some vampires while you're still here. We'll be back soon, Giles.

Connor is wearing the jeans he had on earlier in the day, but took off his nice blue button-down shirt and put on an olive-green t-shirt on top of a gray long-sleeve shirt. They head over to the docks.

BUFFY: How many were there?

CONNOR: Six. Maybe eight. There's only one way out. We can take em easy.

Connor brandishes his broad sword and hands it to Buffy. A brilliant little part of the plan. He gives his victim his most dangerous weapon.

Buffy and Connor break down the doors and rush in. A few lights are strung up, allowing them to see the interior. Only three vampires are inside. Connor corners one and fights him. The two others run for the door. Buffy stands in their way. She beheads one. The other gets behind her. Buffy turns round, tackles him, lands a few punches and stakes him. Buffy realizes Connor made a tactical mistake in not hanging back and helping her block the exit. But she knows he's rash and likes the quick kill. Connor is busy beating on the other vampire in the far corner of the warehouse. "Okay Connor. That's enough. I think she buys it. Ow! That hurt. Ow!" Connor kicks him again and stakes him. Connor returns to Buffy.

CONNOR: Were there any more?

BUFFY: No.

CONNOR: Let's check outside.

He races out the door. Buffy groans and follows. Typical rash Connor. When Buffy get outside, she sees that Connor is surrounded by seven vampires. One of them rushes him, and they start fighting. Another one approaches and punches Connor from behind. He goes down on his knees. Buffy heads to his rescue.

Back at home, Dawn comes downstairs at 8:30. She's planning to tell Buffy she's going to the Bronze with KIt, Elijah and, oh yeah, Connor too. The Kit and Elijah part is a lie.

DAWN: Buffy. Buffy? [goes into the dining room] Where's Buffy?

GILES: She went out patrolling with Connor.

DAWN: What? When did she leave?

GILES: About a half-hour ago. Said they were going to smoke out a nest at the docks. What did you want to tell her?

DAWN: Nothing. It's . . . nothing. Forget it.

Connor said nothing to her about this. Dawn knows Connor does not like Buffy, and she thinks it is highly unlikely that he'd choose to patrol with her – just the two of them. But the docks. They were by the water. The ocean. Dawn knew about what Connor did to Angel. She walks towards the front door and glances around to make sure no one is looking at her. Then she sticks her right hand into the pocket of Xander's coat, pulls out his car keys, and slips out the front door. As usual, no one notices her.

Buffy kicks one vampire to the ground. Then another. A third one punches her. Buffy hits him back, grabs his right arm and throws him to the ground. Two more vampires attack, one from each direction. Buffy leaps in the air and hits both vampires with a scissor kick. Lance swaggers towards her.

LANCE: An auspicious start. 

Buffy moves towards him. Zack ambushes her from the left. He lands two right hooks. Lance kicks her in the chin. Buffy goes down.

LANCE: Of course, it's only the ending that matters.

Buffy gets up. Zack tries another right hook. Buffy blocks this and sends Zack backwards with a right jab. Lance lands a left spin kick. Buffy is about to kick him in the face when a vampire nails her in the back. Buffy goes down on her knees. Zack kicks her in the face. It is seven against one. Buffy knows she needs to even the odds. She reaches for her (Connor's) sword, but before she can grab the handle, two vampires pick her up, one grabbing each arm. Lance and Zack step back to watch. The other three vampires stand in front of her.

BUFFY: Don't you vampires ever learn? It's the same escape move EVERY time.

One vampire punches her in the face. Buffy kicks the another one. When the third one tries to kick her, Buffy jumps in the air and does a backflip with a half-twist so she lands with her back to her attackers. She grabs her sword. When she hears them rushing her, Buffy spins round and beheads one vampire as she spins. She chops off another one's neck once she squares up to her attackers.

BUFFY: I admit, that last part was new.

Connor exchanges blows with the two vampires. They force him to back away from Buffy. Neither side is really trying. It's a fix, after all. Then Connor hits one vampire in the face with a right kick. He knocks down the other one with a left roundhouse. The first vampire charges in, and Connor decks him with left and right punches. He hits the second vampire with a left hook. The vampire's body spins round. Connor grabs his head from behind and snaps his neck. The other vampire is aghast. Connor's not playing by the rules. Lance notices this and dispatches another vampire to keep Connor busy.

ZACK: What the hell's going on!?

LANCE: He never promised he wouldn't kill us. He only pledged to let most of us fight Buffy. You guys are so dense. Can't trust a vampire. Can't trust a human. Then why trust a half-breed!? Now get on that Slayer!

Buffy keeps two vampires at bay by swinging her sword. Zack tries to surprise her from behind. Buffy turns and swings for his head. Zack backs up. One of the two vampires that is now behind Buffy tackles her to the ground. She loses her grip on the sword, but quickly throws the vampire off of her. Zack tries to kick her while she's down. Buffy grabs his right foot and flips him on his back. The third vampire grabs Buffy and tosses her in the direction of Lance. She rolls a few times on the ground before getting up. When she returns to her feet, Lance lands to right jabs. Buffy lands a right cross. Lance responds with a right roundhouse which spins Buffy around. She is hit by Zack. Lance comes at Buffy from behind and sweeps her legs out, causing Buffy to fall on her back. She is surrounded by four vampires.

LANCE: This is beginning to get interesting.

None of the vampires approach her. They let Buffy get to her feet. One of them kicks her in the ribs. She elbows another vampire, throws Zack into Lance, punches the vampire who kicked her, and then kicks the other vampire in the face. Lance and Zack charge at Buffy. She faces them, does a backwards hand spring, and kicks both of them in the face. The vampire to her left punches Buffy. She kicks him in the chest. Another vampire rushes her her behind. She reaches back and stakes him. The vampire she has just kicked looks frightened. He glances at Lance and Zack, expecting help. They just stand there. Lance wants this vamp to fight for his life and punish Buffy as much as possible. Buffy and the vampire trade right hooks. The vampire connects with a right kick to Buffy's face. She blocks a right roundhouse, punches then kicks the vampire in the stomach, then kicks him in the head with a right roundhouse. It is obvious Buffy is beginning to tire. The vampire connects with a left cross, but Buffy blocks his right hook, lands two right jabs and stakes him.

LANCE: She finished with the undercard. Now we finish her.

Lance looks to his left and in the distance sees Connor working on the two vampires facing him. He's beating them up but refraining from staking them, just as Lance expected. Zack charges Buffy, leaps in the air, and knocks her ten feet backwards with a flying kick. She falls down next to her sword.

BUFFY: Thank you.

Buffy picks up the weapon, gets to her feet, ducks Zack's right hook, then decapitates him. Lance gets within three feet of Buffy. He smiles.

LANCE: Got anything left for me?

Buffy steps forward and swings for Lance's neck. He takes a step back and avoids the blade. As Buffy pulls the sword back towards her body, Lance kicks it out of her hands and it falls to the ground. He hits her in the face with a left jab. Buffy stays on her feet and backs up.

LANCE: Cold steel's not your style. Don't all Slayers like the feel of hard wood in their hands?

Buffy tries a right hook. Lance steps back and chuckles. He takes a left jab, hits Buffy in the stomach with a right uppercut, then tosses her to his right, away from the sword. She gets up, her back to the warehouse's front wall. Lance slowly approaches.

LANCE: Of course, I've heard you're the only Slayer who likes her wood cold. You know, room temperature.

She hits him with the back of her right hand. He kicks her in the stomach. She kicks him in the face. Lance retreats. When Buffy charges. Lance knocks her down with a left roundhouse kick. Buffy gets up slowly. Lance tries to kick her, but Buffy grabs his foot. He does a backflip to get free. Lance tries a right kick. Buffy blocks it. She blocks a right punch, then hurls Lance behind her and into the wall.

Connor punches one vampire, then kicks the other one to the ground. He leaps on top of that vampire and stakes him. The one remaining vampire grabs Connor from behind. He does a backflip. When the vampire turns around, Connor punches him in the face with a left hook. The vampire has been badly mauled by Connor. He goes down on one knee. Connor smiles and hits him with a right cross. The vampire realizes Connor's in it for the blood lust. He falls on his back, unable to fight on. Connor puts him out of his misery. Then he walks over to Buffy and Lance.

Buffy kicks Lance in the stomach, then in the face. She blocks another punch, pushes him back into the wall and nails him with a right spin kick. Lance laughs.

LANCE: Smart boy.

Buffy stakes him. She doesn't quite realize what he's referring to. Buffy turns around, exhausted. Connor smiles and decks her with a right hook. Finally, she puts it all together as she struggles to her feet.

BUFFY: You set me up. You little bastard!

CONNOR: Are you always this smart?

Buffy tries to kick Connor in the face. He ducks, sweeps her legs out, then kicks her in the ribs when she hits the ground.

CONNOR: Or is this my lucky day.

Buffy gets up. Connor hits her with a left hook. She staggers back but stays on her feet. When Connor charges, she hits him with the back of her left hand, then with her right fist. Connor kicks Buffy in the stomach. She lands a right uppercut to his chin. Connor responds with a right roundhouse kick. Buffy is hurt, but she stays up. When Connor closes with her, he sticks her in the chest with a taser gun. Buffy grimaces in pain, but fails to go down.

CONNOR: You really are a lot stronger than my father. Let's see how much stronger.

Buffy sends a right kick for Connor's face. He tasers her in the right ankle with her foot is an inch from his mouth. Buffy leans over and gasps for breath. She's taken a lot of punishment. She's incredibly tired. And she's been hit with enough juice to knock two normal human beings unconscious. With his right hand, Connor reaches the taser out for Buffy's chest. She grabs it with both hands. Connor also puts the left hand behind the taser. He pushes it into Buffy's chest. As she struggles to push it away, she is hit with five full seconds of high voltage. Buffy collapses to the ground, barely conscious. Connor grabs the sword. He stands over Buffy, holding the weapon with both hands, pointing its tip straight down at Buffy's heard. She looks up at him, unable to defend herself any longer.

CONNOR: Say hello to Heaven.


	24. Everything But The Kitchen Sink

[Dawn saves Buffy from Connor, then saves Connor from himself. Features FE Angelus palling around with FE Darla and FE Joyce. Meanwhile, Buffy learns that vampire hordes fleeing LA are about to overrun Sunnydale. And in LA, Angelus gets his comeuppance and then some.]

Connor tries to drive the sword downward, but someone grabs his hands.

DAWN: Connor no. You don't want to do this.

Connor glances to his right and sees Dawn.

CONNOR: You're not supposed to be here.

Buffy begins to regain her strength. She sees Dawn talking with Connor.

DAWN: Give me the sword.

CONNOR: I have to do this.

DAWN: Kill Buffy, and you'll never see me again.

Connor relaxes his grip on the sword.

CONNOR: She told me you wouldn't mind.

Dawn takes the weapon out of his hands. She picks up the taser with her right and holds the sword in her left.

DAWN: Who told you?

CONNOR: Mom.

DAWN: That wasn't your mother.

Buffy struggles to her feet.

BUFFY: After all, wanting me dead would be SO out of character for Darla.

Dawn sticks Buffy with the taser. She falls back down.

BUFFY: Have you gone insane!!!?

DAWN: This time was different.

Connor runs away. Dawn runs after him. Buffy gets up and grabs Dawn's hair to hold her back.

DAWN: Connor, wait!!! Ow. Buffy, what was that for?

BUFFY: You attacked me! And I'm not letting you be with Connor. He's evil.

DAWN: That was the First. It wasn't Connor. You don't understand. He's talked to his mother before. Back in Quor Toth.

BUFFY: So he was delusional even before he came to Sunnydale.

DAWN: She helped him. She was good.

BUFFY: There was nothing good about her.

DAWN: He can't be alone right now. He needs me.

BUFFY: He needs to get out of town. And you need to stay away from him.

Dawn points the sword at Buffy.

DAWN: Try and stop me.

BUFFY: What has he done to you!?

Dawn puts the taser in her jacket pocket. She pulls out Xander's car keys and tosses them to Buffy.

DAWN: You can drive home.

BUFFY: These are Xander's keys. You stole Xander's car? You don't even have a license!

DAWN: You're welcome.

Dawn runs off.

BUFFY: I give up.

Buffy looks around, sees the car and slowly staggers over to it. Right now, she probably doesn't even have the strength to take Dawny in a fight. She's worried about her sister. It's obvious to Buffy that Connor has caused Dawn to lose her mind. She'll drive home, tell the others, and then the group can take care of the situation. She knows where Xander will stand on this matter, and she's pretty sure Giles will be for immediately kicking Connor out of town once he knows Connor is under the control of the First.

Connor gets a half-mile from the docks when he sees Darla before him. She looks very cross. He's never seen her mad before.

DARLA: You failed me. Why?

CONNOR: She wasn't supposed to be there.

DARLA: That should not have mattered. She's not strong enough to stop you.

CONNOR: She said she'd leave me. I thought she didn't care about Buffy.

DARLA: She was confused. In time she would have come around. Now Buffy's going to kill you.

CONNOR: I'd like to see her try.

DARLA: You're just like your father. No follow-through. Can't finish the job. You could have done what he always wanted to do. You were about to surpass him, to be better than your father. Isn't that what you've always wanted?

CONNOR: Not like this.

DARLA: THIS is what you do best.

CONNOR: I'm not a killer.

DARLA: You have a gift. That plan was brilliant. Your father never came up with anything that good. Don't deny your genius.

CONNOR: Why are you talking like this? Why are you doing this to me, mom?

DARLA: SHE KILLED ME!!! She made your father kill your own mother. What the hell kind of a son are you? You avenge Holtz, but you can't avenge me!? I brought you into this world.

CONNOR: You didn't bring me here to get other people's blood on my hands. [Darla laughs]

DARLA: What do you think fed you when you were growing inside of me? Human blood. You were always hungry. And you only craved the blood of the innocent. Hundreds of children died so that you could be born. Their blood still flows through your veins. You've been a killer a killer since before you took your first breath.

Darla disappears. Connor stands there. Evil or not, Darla made a few valid points that Connor can't ignore. Dawn heard his voice and ran towards him. She arrives, breathless and exhausted.

DAWN: It's not your fault. That was the First Evil. It can take the form of any dead person. It's been messing with all of us. Everything's gonna be okay.

CONNOR: Get away from me.

DAWN: Don't you want me around?

CONNOR: You're not safe with me.

DAWN: Connor, it's over. You're not evil.

CONNOR: I don't want to be. But it's in my nature. I hurt people. I've hurt everyone who ever cared about me.

DAWN: You've never hurt me.

Connor's avoiding eye contact. Dawn grabs his face and makes him look her in the eyes.

DAWN: Connor, you've never hurt me.

Connor's expression starts to soften. Dawn hugs him.

DAWN: We just need to talk. You are a great guy with a great heart. I know this because of how you treat me. We'll work through this together.

She lets go. Connor manages a little smile.

CONNOR: I told you we should have spent the day together. Then none of this would have happened.

He puts his right arm around her shoulders. She puts her left arm around his waist. Dawn holds the sword in her right hand. They walk home.

CONNOR: Can I have my weapons back?

DAWN: Don't press your luck. Besides, I need them more than you do. Is this the same taser you used on Angel?

CONNOR: Yeah.

DAWN: You lied to me. You said you weren't fighting any vampires tonight.

CONNOR: I'm sorry.

DAWN: Just don't let it happen again. Were you gonna dump Buffy's body in the ocean and then go straight to the Bronze to see me?

CONNOR: Yeah.

DAWN: And you didn't think this would bother me once I found out?

CONNOR: She's not your sister.

DAWN: She gave up her life so I could live. I thought I mentioned that last night?

CONNOR: She told me Buffy was going to kill me tomorrow night.

DAWN: Buffy would never do that. Unless you tried to kill her first. Perfect. A self-fulfilling prophecy.

CONNOR: There was a prophecy?

DAWN: What I meant was, the First's prediction could only come true if it made you try to kill Buffy. Did the First tell you how to kill her?

CONNOR: No. I came up with the plan on my own.

DAWN: When did you do this planning?

CONNOR: Before I saw you after school.

DAWN: That's unsettling. It raises certain issues of trust. All that time we were hanging out, you were thinking about offing my sister?

CONNOR: No I wasn't. I never thought about that when I was with you. It was like I forgot and then remembered only when I needed to do something.

DAWN: That sounds like the First. Did you have a trigger? Something it said to you when it was time for you to do something?

CONNOR: No. I'm not a robot. Or a moron.

Angel would love Connor's unintentional insult of Spike. Connor seems to believe mind control can only work on the feeble-minded.

DAWN: Just remember that in this town, when you see someone who doesn't have a body, they're bad and you shouldn't listen to them.

FE Darla and Angelus watch Dawn and Connor walk away. Angelus has his arm around her.

ANGELUS: Why didn't we do more work on her? She would have been so easy to turn.

Darla turns to Joyce. Angel still has his arm around her.

JOYCE: I did my part. She believed me when I said Buffy would betray her. I would have done more, but the higher-ups nixed it. I'm always being marginalized.

Joyce turns back into Darla.

DARLA: Dawn didn't seem worth the effort. We like to focus on people with power.

ANGELUS: Obviously she has some power over our son. More power than his own mother.

DARLA: He'll do anything for roll in the hay. Just like you.

ANGELUS: Well, that is what attracted you to me in the first place.

Buffy walks through the front door. Her hair is still all frizzy from the multiple electrocutions.

ANYA: My God, what happened to your hair?

BUFFY: A stun gun. Connor tried to kill me.

XANDER: What!?

GILES: Oh no. So there were no vampires?

BUFFY: There were a lot of vampires. I killed them. Then Connor attacked me.

XANDER: Then you fought him off. He's dead or at least unconscious, right?

BUFFY: He knocked me out with the stun gun. Then Dawn came. Convinced him to back down. Then SHE hit me with the stun gun and went off with Connor.

GILES: I don't understand.

WILLOW: Dawny attacked you?

ANYA: No. Dawn saved her. Then attacked her. When did Dawn become passive-aggressive instead of passive-whiny?

GILES: Obviously we have to get Dawn away from him.

XANDER: We hit him with about a dozen tranquilizer darts and I drive him back to Los Angeles tonight.

WILLOW: Why did he do this?

ANYA: Blood feud, anyone? You killed his mother and slept with his father.

XANDER: He didn't even exist!! Though in hindsight it's obvious that this is one more reason why you should never have dated Angel.

Buffy glares at Xander.

BUFFY: Dawn thinks he's under the control of the First. Darla told him to do it.

GILES: Then we definitely need to get him out of town as fast as possible. That boy could do some serious damage.

WILLOW: Vampire strength, but he can go outside in the daytime, enter any house he pleases. The Potentials know him and like him.

XANDER: Okay, so he's the perfect agent. We have to get him now.

Spike comes in through the front door.

SPIKE: We have a big problem on our hands.

GILES: You know that Connor tried to kill Buffy?

SPIKE: He did? Join the club. That's not what I'm talking about.

XANDER: Connor's under the control of the First. What's your big emergency?

SPIKE: A lot of vampires came to LA when the sun left. Now that the sun's back, the vampires are leaving. And a lot of them have come to Sunnydale.

GILES: How many?

SPIKE: 30 to 50, at least. They're all over the tunnels, looking for lairs. They're planning stay. Once they've settled in, they'll overrun this town.

GILES: That is deeply troubling. But we still have to worry about Connor. We can't allow Dawn to be alone with him.

SPIKE: Why not? He won't hurt her. He can't. He likes her. Connor only attacks people he hates.

BUFFY: What have I ever done to make Connor hate me?

ANYA: Oh, please! Don't play dumb. And who decided to make this hypocrisy night? Spike tries to kill Buffy, and what did you do? You have him move into your house because you didn't want him to be alone. And he killed like ten people. Connor's killed no one. I'm glad he's with Dawn. The First only comes after you when you're alone.

GILES: If Spike is telling the truth, we have both a possible danger and an actual danger to deal with. I say the only sensible thing to do is focus on the actual danger. Spike, have they moved out into the streets?

SPIKE: Not yet. Town's still quiet.

GILES: Then we have time. Spike, take Buffy to the tunnels. Try to surprise them. Anya, Xander, you come with me. We'll need to gather supplies and set up a base of operations. Buffy, kill as many as you can before they hit the streets. Then join us in the center of town.

WILLOW: What about me?

GILES: You need to stay home and rest. Watch after the Potentials. Where are they?

ANDREW: In the basement. I think Molly and Rona are boxing. Don't you hear the cheering?

GILES: Are they wearing gloves?

ANDREW: Yeah. And they only go three rounds. That's what the other girls did. They're learning to make their own fun. What should I do to help save Sunnydale?

GILES: Wash the dishes. By the way, those dumplings were magnificent. And Ariella seemed very pleased with the blintzes. Said she never knew gentiles could cook them so good.

ANDREW: Thank you. [beams] It's nice to be appreciated. By the way, since I do the food shopping, can I call myself Chief Quartermaster, in addition to Head Chef?

Giles walks with the others to the front door.

GILES: Most important of all, don't panic. I've studied how to handle massed vampire assaults. In many ways, large groups of vampires are easier to kill than vampires working alone. We can handle this if we keep our heads.

They hear a bell downstairs.

ANYA: Maybe they should get out more. Just not tonight.

Buffy feels her hair.

BUFFY: I need to go wet down my hair. It's hideous, isn't it?

SPIKE: Not at all. It's, um, . . . playful.

ANYA: In a "Bride of Frankenstein" way.

Faith comes back in from patrolling with Wes, Gunn and Fred.

LINDSEY: He still hasn't budged.

FAITH: Wasn't a complete waste. I dusted eight. These guys got four.

FRED: Five.

FAITH: Sorry. They deserve their props. Angel was lucky to have em. You guys could kick the Scoobies asses up and down the block.

GUNN: Who?

WES: Buffy's support staff. I never understood the nickname.

FAITH: These bad boys – and girl – can fight. Now I know how Wesley became so tough. He had to keep up with C-Gunn.

GUNN: Well, I try to teach those around me.

Wes glares at him.

FAITH: Oops. Forgot about your intense macho rivalry. Never had two men fighting over me. Fred's a lucky girl.

Meanwhile, at the Hyperion.

ANGELUS: The vampires have been pouring in faster than we expected.

CECIL: Slayer went to work early tonight. And she had helpers.

ANGELUS: The whole gang's pitching in. That sweetens the pot. How many committed fighters do we have?

OSCAR: 93 have pledged themselves to you.

ANGELUS: No point letting them get impatient. Slayer must be tired by now. It's perfect. Cecil, take the nine men. Tell them each to choose 7 vampires. Each group of eight takes a different sector of downtown. Oscar, get my three women. Have them work the tenth sector. I have it all mapped out. Just point everyone in the right direction. You two stay here with the other 30 vampires in case she comes to this neighborhood. Have all the leaders wired up so I can direct them in the field. I'll work alone. The Slayer finds me, I'll keep her busy until the rest of my forces descend on her.

CECIL: And if she doesn't show?

ANGELUS: We'll be doing too much damage for her not to.

LORNE: Guys? The little red dot's moving. Is that good?

GUNN: Angelus is coming out.

KELLY: Bout time he tried to sink his teeth into me.

LINDSEY: Sorry about the wait.

KELLY: Don't be. I just spent 22 days in the Pamirs staking out the nest of a lizard demon, waiting for her to come back. Waiting here was a lot more fun.

Everyone gets their weapons. Kelly opens the mini-bar, pulls out shot-sized bottles of vodka and rum, then downs them.

FRED: What are you doing?

KELLY: Getting into character. Which reminds me. I need to change.

LINDSEY: Lorne, stay here and guide us in. Kelly will be carrying a homing device. Hers is green. Angelus's is red. You just bring them together.

LORNE: No sweat Mac. You better hurry. He's moving fast. Already made it to Westwood. Now he's turning south towards Culver city.

WES: Everyone ready?

KELLY: Be honest. Do I look tasty? [Wes and Gunn are too nervous to respond to that.]

LORNE: Voullez Vous. If my species could bite –

FAITH: He'll eat you up. I mean, he'll want to.

Lindsey tosses the car keys to Gunn.

LINDSEY: You know the roads best. Let's do this.

Gunn drives what was Cordy's SUV. She left it behind when she became a super-powerful evil force of nature and got a Mercedes and a Lexus. Lindsey rides shotgun. Kelly sits up front in the middle. In back, Fred sits behind Gunn, Wesley is in the middle, and Faith is on the right. Gunn can hear Lorne on his earpiece.

LORNE: Okay, he's turned right, heading due west into Santa Monica. Stay on that street. He's about a half-mile straight ahead, traveling about as fast as you are. I'm guess he's heading for the night life. There are a few swanky watering holes in that area. Hold on. No, I mean keep driving. But Angelus has stopped. I think he's surfaced. Straight ahead, you're gaining. I think he's in Triumph's. Pretty nice joint. Lots of pretty young biteables. Good luck, sugarplums.

After they find a suitable ambush spot three blocks away, Faith, Wes, Fred and Lindsey get out and take their places. Gunn drops Kelly off in front of the club and drives back to join the others.

LORNE: Gunn? One question. How do we know if Kelly's in trouble?

GUNN: If Angelus is moving, but she ain't.

LORNE: Wouldn't that make her dead?

GUNN: Girl seems like she knows what she's doing. Kelly's a pro, like us.

LORNE: But unlike us, she's never met Angelus. I don't think she understands what she's walking into.

GUNN: We all take risks. She chose this risk. I ain't worried.

Kelly goes straight for the bathroom in back. She doesn't want Angelus to know she's just walked in. That might seem a little suspicious. She checks her hair and sprays some perfume on her skin to mask the scent of Angel's old friends, just to be safe. Kelly heads from the bathroom to the bar, where she orders a whiskey sour. She downs half of that and goes looking for Angelus. The dj is playing T Rex's "Twentieth Century Boy" Angelus sees her from about 20 feet away. Kelly's wearing tight black pants and a red halter top. No way Angelus could miss a pretty blonde showing that much neck. She walks like she's a little bit tipsy. Angelus smiles as she approaches. He's wearing black leather pants and a black button-down silk shirt. Kelly talks a little louder than necessary to add to the illusion that she's drunk.

KELLY: Hi. I Kelly. What's you're name?

ANGELUS: Angel.

KELLY: Funny. Cause you look to me like a bad boy.

ANGELUS: Do you want me to be bad?

KELLY: Wouldn't mind.

She's standing really close to him, holding her drink in her left hand and unbuttoning the top two buttons on Angelus's shirt with her right hand. He can smell the liquor on her breath. Means she'll put up less of a struggle. He puts his right hand around Kelly's waist and pulls her closer. Kelly smiles. Angelus looks down into her blue eyes and smiles. He runs his left hand through her long, blonde hair. Kelly downs the rest of her drink and puts the glass on a nearby table. Kelly runs her left hand through his hair, then puts it on the back of his neck, pulling his head in close to hers.

KELLY: You're really cute. You come here a lot?

ANGELUS: Do you?

KELLY: Sometimes. With my girlfriends. But the guys here usually aren't very promising. Guess tonight's my lucky night.

ANGELUS: Where are your girlfriends?

KELLY: They left early. Good thing I was patient. Else I woulda missed you.

ANGELUS: Guess tonight's gonna be lucky for both of us, Kelly. Call me crazy, but I think we might have a future together.

Kelly smiles and puts her lips within an inch of his.

KELLY: I'd like that.

ANGELUS: Let's go somewhere quiet and talk.

KELLY: Is that all you wanna do with me?

Angelus smiles. He puts his right arm around her shoulders. She puts her left arm around his waist and holds his right hand with her right hand. Angelus had been looking for a blonde to replace Olivia. This girl seemed worth a sire. They head a block towards the ambush spot. Angelus takes her into an alley.

LORNE: They're on the move. Together.

GUNN: Lorne says Kelly's taken him outside. Guess this is it.

KELLY: Where are we going, Angel?

ANGELUS: Somewhere we can be alone.

He grabs her waist, kisses her and pushes her back into a wall. Kelly reaches into her pockets. She pulls out the small gin and run bottles. Before leaving the hotel, she broke off their bottoms. She holds one bottle in each hand and puts her arm around his shoulders. He starts groping. Kelly wonders why it's taking him so long to go for the bite. After 15 seconds of kissing, Angelus pulls his head back. He goes bumpy and leans down to bite her neck. Kelly screams. Angelus likes that. Then she sticks the two broken bottles in his neck – one on each side, which makes them look a little like Frankenstein's electrodes. Angelus pulls his head back. Kelly screams again, kicks Angelus in the groin and runs away screaming. Angelus pulls the two mini-bottles out of his neck. He sees her running away and smiles.

ANGELUS: Chase would be nice for a few.

Two blocks away, Kelly runs into Lindsey. He's wearing a black suit with a black shirt.

LINDSEY: What's wrong?

KELLY: This guy, this guy, he attacked me! And his face went all funny! Omigod. Omigod.

LINDSEY: Relax. Calm down. I'll help you.

Angelus catches up in time to see this. He laughs and returns to his human face.

ANGELUS: Always trying to be like me. I've missed ya, Lindsey!

Lindsey looks terrified, as if he expected a normal vampire, not Angelus.

KELLY: You know him?

LINDSEY: We're old enemies. Come with me. I'll protect you.

Lindsey leads her into a nearby warehouse.

ANGELUS: Can't run, can't fight, so he hides. Can't blame em.

Angelus runs into the warehouse. He looks down the long, narrow corridor and doesn't see anyone. He walks across the floor towards the middle of the room, singing whimsically.

ANGELUS: "Oh Lindsey. Well you came just to rescue a damsel. But you're in over your head – Oh Lindsey. I will let you watch as I rape Kelly, but you're still gonna die."

Kelly is hyperventilating.

KELLY: I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Why is this happening to me?

LINDSEY: [whispers] Quiet. He can hear you.

Angelus walks towards their hiding place, which behind a stack of wooden boxes. When he's about to be discovered, Lindsey stands up and pushes the boxes into Angelus. He walks out to face his old nemesis. Kelly crouches behind him, looking terrified. She's wearing his jacket over her shoulders.

LINDSEY: Take me. Let the girl go.

ANGELUS: When did you discover chivalry?

LINDSEY: Fine. You want her, you'll have to get by me first. [Angelus laughs]

ANGELUS: Okay. I'll even let you take the first shot.

Lindsey puts both hands behind his back. He puts on the brass knuckles he was concealing in his back pants pockets. He hits the right side of Angelus's face with a left hook. The brass knuckles tenderize the skin and carve out several wounds. Angelus grabs his face in pain and goes bumpy. Lindsey hits the left side of his face with a right hook, doing even more damage.

LINDSEY: I bet right now you wish you cut both my hands off.

ANGELUS: You little cheating coward.

Angelus tries to hit Lindsey, but he leaps away from Angelus and hits the ground. Once LIndsey landed his first punch, Wes, Gunn, Fred and Faith quietly and quickly entered the warehouse. Wes shoots Angelus in the back with his shotgun. Angelus turns round and charges Wes.

ANGELUS: You're working for him!! Poor Wesley!

Before Wes can fire a second shot, Angelus grabs the gun. But before he can pull it out of Wesley's hands, Fred comes at his from behind and hits Angelus in the back of the neck with a flail. Angelus pushes Wes to the ground and turns around. Fred hits him in the right shoulder.

ANGELUS: This is so funny. Where's Gunn? What about Faith?

Fred swings the flail in a circle. She hits Angelus in the right knee with the spiked metal ball. She goes for his face. Angelus blocks it, taking the spikes in his left forearm.

FRED: You told me a good flailing can take hours. Let's find out.

ANGELUS: Careful. You're starting to turn me on.

Fred hits Angelus in the stomach, then swings upwards and gets him just below his chin. When she swings for his left shoulder, Angelus reaches out his right hand and grabs the chain. He tosses Fred 20 feet backwards into a pile of boxes. Angelus looks to his left and right.

ANGELUS: Come on Faith! Where are you?

Wesley shoots him a second time in the back. Angelus spins around, leaps at Wesley and grabs the barrel just in time to make Wesley's next shot sail harmlessly into the ceiling. Angelus wrestles the gun from Wesley's hands and hits him twice in the skull with the butt of the firearm. Wesley falls on his back. Angelus cocks the gun and points it at Wesley's face.

ANGELUS: Maybe Faith doesn't want to save you.

Gunn runs up and hits Angelus in the skull with a wooden baseball bat, then in the lower spine. Angelus turns his head and gets clocked in the chin. Wesley reaches up and grabs the gun back. Angelus goes after Charles. At the end of Charles's bat is a metal hook.

ANGELUS: But you do? Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. I was doing you a favor. We all know you want Pricey out of the way. Don't try to be the hero. That will only get you killed. And then Wesley gets Freddie all to himself.

Gunn backs away from Angelus while he's talking. When he stops talking, Gunn hits him in the left knee. He swings for Angelus's face, but Angelus grabs the bat with is left hand and hits Charles in the face with a right jab. Gunn backs up. Angelus kicks him in the face. Gunn goes down, but simply throwing the kick made Angelus hurt. He turns to his left and sees Fred approaching. He ducks to avoid the flail. When the spiked ball comes around a second time, it hits him on the left side of his rib cage. Angelus hits Fred in the face with a right cross. He reaches out his left hand and pulls the flail out of Fred's right hand. It slides across the floor. Fred tries a right hook. Angelus blocks it and lands a left hook. He grabs Fred's throat with his right hand and lifts her in the air.

ANGELUS: Now this is gonna be sweet.

He puts his left hand under her chin. But right before he can snap Fred's neck, Faith leaps down from the catwalk behind Angelus and kicks him in the back. Angelus is knocked forward and falls on top of Fred. He holds her arms down and goes to bite her.

ANGELUS: Even better.

Faith kicks Angelus in the face. He turns his head up, sees her, and gets off of Fred.

ANGELUS: Finally! What took you so long? Are you THAT scared of me?

Faith lands left and right crosses. Angelus blocks a left jab and punches her in the stomach. She tries a right roundhouse kick, which Angelus blocks. He lands a left uppercut and knocks Faith down with the back of his right hand. Gunn comes at him from behind. Angelus ducks, turns round, kicks Gunn in the stomach, then knocks him back down to the floor with a right hook. Faith comes at him from the other direction. Angelus gives her a left elbow. She lands left and right hooks, then a right kick. Angelus hits her in the throat and grabs her arms.

ANGELUS: You're rusty.

He tosses her away and turns back to face Gunn, who's still on the ground. When Angelus approaches, Charles swings the bat and gets the hook into Angelus's stomach, creating a deep eight-inch long laceration across his belly. Angelus grabs the gaping wound. For the first time, his cockiness turns to fear. He tries to move towards the door to his right, but Faith blocks the way. Gunn and Wes block the door to his left. He looks up and sees the catwalk 15 feet in the air. Before he can jump, Faith leaps at Angelus and knocks him down with a flying right kick to the chest. Angelus slowly gets to his feet. Faith lands a right roundhouse kick. Angelus is still holding his belly, trying to keep the wound closed so his guts don't fall out. Faith tries a right cross. Angelus moves his head to the left. She throws a left, and Angelus eludes that blow by moving his head to the right. He hits her in the head with a left roundhouse kick, grunting as he throws it. Then he nails her in the chin with a right kick which also causes him to groan in pain. Faith goes down. Angelus lets go of his wound. It looks like it will be okay for a little while. Angelus can fight with his hands again.

Kelly tosses Lindsey's coat back to him and goes on the attack. She connects with a flying right spin kick to the head and a left kick to the chin. Angelus staggers back a few steps.

KELLY: Remember me?

ANGELUS: Amazing! It's like Buffy from ten years in the future. Didn't know that was your fantasy, Lindsey.

Kelly hits Angelus with a right hook. Angelus hits her back with a left jab and a right cross. Kelly goes down. Wesley comes at Angelus from his right. He hits Angelus in the jaw with a left jab. Angelus pivots and throws a left hook. Wesley ducks and hits Angelus's stomach with a right uppercut, just above the cut. This opens up the wound even further. Enraged, Angelus grabs Wesley, head butts him, and tosses him into Fred. Faith resumes her attack. A right kick to Angelus's head sends him back into some boxes next to the wall behind the catwalk. She punches him four times in the face with her left fist, then twice with her right fist. She takes a step back and looks at the battered and wounded Angelus as he props himself up against the boxes. He's been cut and slashed and punctured and shot and pounded in so many places that she – and everyone else – hardly has the stomach to go on punishing him. After all, they have souls. Angelus reaches out his right foot and kicks Faith in the stomach. She takes a few steps back. He stands up and leaps for the catwalk. He grabs hold and pulls himself up. Angelus limps towards the wall and leaps out a window. He lands outside, pulls off a manhole cover, and falls into the sewers. Faith runs out just in time to see him fall out of view. The others join her outside.

WES: I don't think we'll have to worry about him causing any trouble for the next few days.

KELLY: That was awesome. You guys are the best! Did you see the look on his face when he realized he had been played?

LINDSEY: Let's get going.

GUNN: Everything went off without a hitch. But what did that plan have to do with Napoleon?

WES: Pin the enemy down with a one part of your forces. Have another part surprise him on his flanks. Save your best troops for last. That's every battle he ever won.

FRED: Sounds pretty simple.

WES: Only gets complicated when you try to do it with 100,000 people.

Angelus takes out his cell phone and sends an emergency call out to all his people, giving them the location of the enemy. His men rush to the spot, leaving their vampires behind. His three women also race to the location. Cecil and Oscar send out all the vampires waiting at the Hyperion. Angelus holds his stomach wound shut and makes him way through the sewers back home. He thinks of Drusilla and the mob in Prague. It must have felt like this.

As the gang opens the car doors, two of Angelus's men have already arrived. Faith kicks one away. Gunn punches another, and Kelly kicks that one as well. They pile in. Two more vampires climb onto the back bumper. Fred crawls to the back and opens up the rear door, which swings upwards. This hits them and gets rid of them. Another vampire charges from the front. Gunn steps on the accelerator and the vampire dives out of the way. Faith sticks her head out the sunroof and notices three women who are chasing their car.

FAITH: Three chick vamps on our tail. And they're actually gaining.

Gunn runs a red light and floors it. Three blocks up ahead he makes a left on red and they head over to the hotel. Angelus's vampires have lost them. The other four male vampires arrive. The twelve of them smell blood in the warehouse and enter it. What they see horrifies them.

ALANNA: That's his blood. They hurt him bad.

The twelve of them head back out to the streets.

TINA: We'll get em back tomorrow night.

VALA: They're gonna pay for spilling our Master's blood.

TINA: Six of them. Twelve of us.

ALANNA: They die screaming.


	25. Vampires, Chainsaws and Bulldozers

[The Scoobies fight off the vampire hordes. In the process, the vampires mistake Anya for the Slayer and Spike for Angel. Neither Spike nor Buffy are very happy about this. Even odder is the fact that Giles is the one who scares the vampires most of all. Meanwhile, sparks fly between Faith and Lindsey, and Kelly makes nice with Fred, Gunn and especially Wesley.]

Dawn and Connor sit on the couch in the great hall on the first floor of his house.

CONNOR: Buffy will kill me. She has every reason to.

DAWN: She won't. Buffy's not like that. She doesn't kill people cause of vengeance or anger or fear. And you need to put what you did in context. All her friends have tried to kill Buffy at least once. Xander, Willow, Anya. And of course Spike.

CONNOR: What about you?

DAWN: [joking] I'm always the one left out. But Buffy tried to kill me. And everyone else. She was poisoned by a demon, and it messed with her mind. Made her believe she was in a mental hospital and this world was a delusion she had created. Thought killing us would give her back her sanity.

CONNOR: Why do you all try to kill each other?

DAWN: It's the Hellmouth. Makes people do crazy things.

CONNOR: But I did crazy things before I came here.

DAWN: Because you didn't trust anyone. Because you were thrown into a world you couldn't understand. Deep down, you've always been good. You've always wanted to do the right thing.

CONNOR: Then why do I keep doing the wrong thing?

DAWN: Im guessing you never ask for advice. And no offense, but you don't think things through. Not that I always mind when you're impulsive. Coming to see me last night, that was impulsive and great. But when your life or someone else's is at stake, it's best to ask questions before you go all taser on somebody.

CONNOR: I never felt like I had someone I could talk to about those things. Before you.

DAWN: I know the feeling.

Spike and Buffy run into a cavern that branches off from the tunnels. They surprise the vampires and behead two of them. Two more turn and run. Spike chases one down and decapitates it with an ax, and Buffy runs down the other and dusts it with a sword. They hear sounds of panic nearby and race towards them. The two of them come across eight vampires at an intersection of two tunnels. They each take out a crossbow and shoot one of the vamps. Four of the vampires run away. The two remaining vampires stand and fight. Buffy and Spike each fight and stake one of them. Then they continue chasing the others, who soon surface. Several dozen vampires are running through the forest.

BUFFY: I don't get it. They're running away from the people.

Buffy and Spike follow and watch what ensues from a safe distance. The vampires swarm into the caves. They soon retreat as dozens of demons come out to meet them. The vampires regroup and attack again. Their confidence worries the demons. Five demons have their necks snapped. Three vampires have their heads bitten off. After about five minutes, the demons retreat back into the caves. The jubilant vampires follow and kill more demons.

BUFFY: I know they hate each other, but do vampires and demons usually fight like this?

SPIKE: Not in these numbers. Neither side's big on cooperation. This can't be good. I've never seen that many vampires work together.

BUFFY: Could they have a really strong leader?

SPIKE: I didn't notice one. Just a mob. When things go could, nothing can stop them.

BUFFY: And when things go bad, they panic.

SPIKE: We can only hope.

The vampires leave the caves and travel back through the forest towards the center of town. Buffy and Spike follow. From a hillside, they can see a 20-foot tall white-haired demon standing among the trees. He grabs two vampires — one in each hand — and eats them.

BUFFY: What the hell? Is that Susquatch?

SPIKE: He's not that big. I didn't know they could live this far south.

BUFFY: What?

SPIKE: A Leshi. Forest demon. A protector. Sometimes of people, sometimes other demons. The vampire influx must have upset the balance between demons and vampires in this town.

BUFFY: And he's going to fix that by killing vampires? Doesn't sound like a problem.

SPIKE: He'll stay around even when the vampires are gone. That's the rub. They don't leave. Come daytime it'll kill any person who crosses its path.

BUFFY: Guess we'll burn that bridge when we come to it. You've seen these things before?

SPIKE: Killed one about seventy years ago in Karelia. I was enjoying the 21-hour winter nights. Ate so many people this thing sprouted up to defend them. They're tricky. Change size in an instant. Can't be killed during the daytime.

BUFFY: And they're huge.

SPIKE: Usually about ten feet tall. He can't stay this big for long.

BUFFY: So they're killable. I mean, you bagged one. Did you cut its head off?

SPIKE: You have to rip out its heart. And eat it.

BUFFY: You've got to be kidding.

SPIKE: If you don't eat it, in a few seconds it grows another one.

BUFFY: Well then, it's a good thing I've got you around to handle that part.

Cecil and Oscar meet Angelus in the sub-basement. They take him up the elevator to his fifth floor room and tend to his wounds. Cecil sews up the stomach laceration and uses butterfly bandages to close the gashes on Angelus's face left by Lindsey's brass knuckles.

CECIL: The good thing about our kind is you stitch us up, we're good as new. I once sewed a vamp's arm back on. Fully functional within three days.

He puts cream on Angelus's numerous puncture wounds from the flail and the shotgun blasts.

ANGELUS: What the hell is that crap?

CECIL: A poultice containing enzymes which accelerate the vampire healing process. Picked it up wholesale — in Boise of all places. Sell it for a pretty penny on the coast. It'll sink into the skin in less than an hour. Get some rest, drink plenty of blood, you'll be fine by tomorrow night.

OSCAR: I left four quarts simmering next to your bed.

ANGELUS: Human?

OSCAR: Newborn babies'. [Angelus smiles]

ANGELUS: You guys are the best.

OSCAR: Don't mention it.

ANGELUS: I still don't get it. How could they find me right after I surface? First place I go, they have someone. No one can be that good.

CECIL: When the mercenaries attacked you, were you hit by anything?

ANGELUS: Just a dud tranq dart.

OSCAR: Bet that wasn't a tranq.

Cecil runs out of the room and comes back in with a hand-held electronic device.

CECIL: When I moved in, I swept the place for bugs. Someone had you guys wired-up the ying-yang.

ANGELUS: Wolfram & Hart.

CECIL: Roll on your side. [receives interference noise at one spot in his upper back.] Hold still. [Makes a small incision with a scalpel, sticks tweezers under the skin, and pulls out the homing device.] Looks like they had you tagged. I'll go flush this.

ANGELUS: No. Leave it on top of the dresser. I going to play a little trick.

CECIL: Rest up, chief.

OSCAR: You'll get em soon.

Oscar and Cecil turn off the lights, close the door and get into the elevator.

OSCAR: Doesn't get more perfect than this.

CECIL: Angelus is out of commission. His troops will be out all night searching for his attackers. As always, great working with you.

OSCAR: The long twilight struggle isn't my cup of tea. Good will always be here, no matter how hard you fight it. No point risking your life in the battle. Might as well have fun and make money.

CECIL: It's a shame how few vampires are truly enlightened. Everywhere I go, there's some idiot telling the faithful "I'm going to destroy the world." "We are about to make history end."

OSCAR: The ultimate jinx. You hear a guy say that, best thing to do is get as far away as possible from him.

CECIL: I've been at this 39 years. You've been on the scene for 31. During that time there've been dozens of attempts to destroy the world.

OSCAR: Hundreds probably.

CECIL: And yet it's still here. You think demons would have gotten the message by now.

DAWN: People died. Dozens, probably hundreds. Because I lived. Buffy died. I watched her friends cry and suffer. All because I was alive. I kept thinking the world would have been a much better place if I had just killed myself. I didn't deserve all that sacrifice. All those innocent victims. I wasn't worth it.

CONNOR: Those people who made you could have killed you if they wanted. But they didn't. Because you're good. You can't beat evil by killing something that's good.

DAWN: That's why Buffy won't kill you. That's why Angel didn't hurt you.

CONNOR: I'm not so sure that I'm good.

DAWN: But you're sure I am. Why?

CONNOR: You treat me good. You care about me. When I'm with you, you always make me happy.

DAWN: I feel the same way about you, Connor. Makes you good in my book.

Lindsey is in Faith's room. They're both wearing what they wore during the fight, which in Faith's case is a white tank top and black leather pants. Both of them are a bit pumped up about their success.

FAITH: You guys were wicked.

LINDSEY: Without you he would have escaped a lot earlier.

FAITH: Kelly deserves an Oscar for her whole scared little girl routine. He bought it hook, line and . . . what was with the Barry Manilow improv?

LINDSEY: He is evil.

FAITH: Angelus or Barry?

LINDSEY: Both. I think.

FAITH: Tell me the truth. When you hit him, did it feel good?

LINDSEY: Just the first punch. To see the surprise in his face the moment when he knew we had outsmarted him. Everything after was self-defense. We had to hurt him to keep him from killing us.

FAITH: I didn't much like beating him to a bloody pulp. But I liked how I felt after. Being on the winning team again. Been a while for me.

Kisses Lindsey on the lips.

FAITH: Been a while for that, too.

They pause and look at each other for a few very tense seconds. She wraps her arms him, he pulls her close, and they kiss rather passionately. Faith rips open his shirt. There's more smooching and heavy breathing. Faith tosses Lindsey on the bed, takes off her shirt, and jumps on top. After a little more kissing and pawing, Lindsey rolls on top, catches his breath, and looks down at Faith. He smiles and asks her a question.

LINDSEY: What are we doing?

FAITH: Celebrating.

LINDSEY: Celebrating what?

FAITH: Not quite sure.

Down the hall in the command center.

KELLY: I think you're right. Considering this guy's M-O, it'd be best if I skip town in the morning. No problem. I'm due at Pendleton in two days anyway. Training some new agents.

WES: Isn't Camp Pendleton near Sunnydale?

KELLY: Might be. Never really noticed. That's where the other Slayer and the vampire with a soul live?

WES: A vampire with a soul.

LORNE: Right now he would be the only one.

WES: To confer that title upon Spike is an affront to Angel.

LORNE: Nice to know you're loyal to the MEMORY of Angel, as opposed to the actual —

FRED: Please guys. Not now.

KELLY: Isn't this supposed to be the part where we go out, get drunk and blow off steam?

GUNN: That ain't a bad idea.

WES: We can't risk going out. Angelus's fighters will be looking for us.

KELLY: Then we go to the bar downstairs.

WES: I do like the idea of going to a bar to do something besides drown my sorrows —

LORNE: Or calm my jangled, apocalypse-fried nerves.

FRED: Sounds like a plan. I'll tell Lindsey. [comes back a few seconds later] He's not in his room.

WES: Where's Faith?

A few seconds of silence as people consider the possibilities.

GUNN: I'm guessin' they found another way to blow off steam.

FRED: You think Lindsey's — with Faith?

LORNE: Didn't have to be an empath to see that coming.

Wes, Gunn and Fred all look a little shocked.

WES: We didn't see it coming.

KELLY: Happens all the time. The stress of combat. The exhilaration of success. Makes people wanna hook up.

WES: It does? [looks at Kelly]

KELLY: In the corps we had limits cause you can't fraternize with someone of a different rank. But you guys are all basically equals. Which must mean Winifred gets a lot of attention. Am I right, honey?

Fred looks a little embarrassed.

FRED: Shall we get to the drinking?

The five of them head downstairs.

Giles, Anya and Xander are trying to defend a couple blocks in the center of town around the Bronze and some other nightspots. They threw holy water at the intersections of several side streets with Main, encouraging the vampires to take the paths of least resistance and come up Main from the north and the south. That way, they only have two points to defend. Giles stands on the roof of the Magic Box overlooking the southern approach. Next to him are four firebombs, a metal bucket with a small fire burning inside, a bow, and six incendiary arrows. 18 Vampires head north on Main Street. When they get to the intersection nearest Giles, he lights and tosses the molatov cocktails one by one. The flames ignite and consume four vampires. The other 14 vampires look around for the culprit. They spot Giles up on the roof. By then, he has grabbed his bow. Giles dips the first arrow in the flames coming out of the bucket, pulls back the bow, aims and fires. He hits a vampire in the chest. Giles does this five more times, methodically incinerating six vampires one-by-one. The eight remaining vampires pull back. Giles goes down into the store to get weapons for close fighting before heading out onto the street. Scott wakes up in Buffy's old training room. He dashes out into the main part of the store and runs out the back exit, away from Main Street. Giles turns and sees something running away from him. He doesn't care about the ones who are fleeing, so he pays it no mind and heads out onto Main Street.

A few blocks north of Giles, Anya stands against the side of a building, concealed in the shadows from the dozen vampires who are walking towards her. When they have walked past her, she heads out into the middle of the street and drops an empty metal gas can. The dozen vampires turn and see her. Anya smiles sheepishly.

ANYA: Oops. Clumsy me.

She reaches down and lights a match on the bottom of her shoe.

ANYA: Always dropping things.

The vampires charge. Anya tosses the match a few feet forward. When the match hits the fumes of the gasoline she has poured across the length of the street, a wall of flames rises up between Anya and the vampires. She stands there, safely behind the flames, arms folded, staring the foolish vampires down. Two of them catch fired and burn up. The other ten turn and run south, away from Anya and towards Giles. They also happen to be running right into Xander, who is driving a bulldozer he stole from his nearby construction site where they are building the future Sunnydale Public Library. He sweeps up two more vampires and plows them back into the flames. Then Xander turns around and heads south, swerving side-to-side to knock down as many bewildered vampires as possible. The vampires, caught between two fires, have difficulty fleeing. Giles stakes two of the vampires Xander has run over. Xander scoops up two more and drops them on the flames. One vampire flees east on a side street, while another flees west. Two vampires try to skirt the flames by running on the sidewalks, where Anya didn't pour any gasoline on account of not wanting to torch the adjacent buildings. Anya runs to her right to cut them off. She stakes the lead one with a broken broom handle, then points the makeshift spear at the trailing vampire's chest as he runs towards Anya. He can't stop in time and his heart is pierced. He looks at Anya with an expression of fear and terror. "Slayer," he calls her before falling forward and turning to dust. Anya jumps up and down a few times, then runs over to Xander, who has stepped off the bulldozer to look and see if all the vampires are gone.

ANYA: Did you see that!? Did you see that? He called me the Slayer. He called ME the Slayer!!!

Xander looks confused.

XANDER: Who?

ANYA: The vampire. I staked him, and he called me Slayer before disintegrating. They think I'm the Slayer!! It makes sense. They're strangers to this town. I'm a sexy, limber, athletic young woman who's killing vampires left and right. And I was punning!

XANDER: That's nice, Anya. I have to go return the machine before anyone finds out and fires me.

Xander gets back on the bulldozer and drives off.

The eight vampires who fled Giles now return. Giles picks up his chainsaw, pulls the cord and heads towards them. The vampires see a stern-looking man walking out from behind the flames brandishing a large, noisy, painful weapon. They stop in their tracks, look at each other, and run away. Giles is delighted. He scared off eight vampires all by himself. Meanwhile, Buffy and Spike run towards Main Street.

BUFFY: Do you see smoke?

SPIKE: Looks like we might be too late.

BUFFY: What about Giles? And Xander and Anya?

SPIKE: Overwhelmed and ran away.

BUFFY: If they were lucky. Do you hear a low roar?

SPIKE: Sounds like a chainsaw.

BUFFY: Oh no. Why did I ever leave them alone?

Buffy and Spike approach from the east on a side street. The man with the chainsaw has his back to them. The chainsaw's engine slows down and then stops. Buffy brandishes her stake in her left hand and her sword in her right. Spike holds a large ax with both hands. An instant before they are going to charge, Giles turns around. Buffy and Spike both flinch. Then they recognize him.

BUFFY: Giles???

SPIKE: That's a interesting look for you.

Giles looks serene and calm.

GILES: Hello Buffy. We have things under control here.

BUFFY: But the fires?

GILES: Burnt the vampires. And they're almost out by now.

Anya runs over and looks at Buffy and Spike.

ANYA: You missed the barbeque. But don't worry. We didn't miss you. What with all the slaying going on, you two probably would have just gotten in the way.

BUFFY: Where's Xander?

ANYA: Returning the bulldozer.

SPIKE: He tried to fight them by earth moving?

ANYA: No. he ran them over and picked them up. It was very brutal and extremely funny. Did I mention that they called me the Slayer?

GILES: They did what? [Buffy bursts out laughing]

ANYA: When I staked the last one, he looked at me and called me Slayer. I smote vampires after making ironically prophetic puns. Now they fear me. Do they still fear you?

BUFFY: Just when I thought tonight couldn't possibly get any worse. Why is God punishing me? (As if Angel's son trying to kill her and shacking up with her sister wasn't enough.)

GILES: Fear YOU? Anya, I'm the one who chased eight of them away single-handedly.

SPIKE: How exactly did you do that?

GILES: Came at them with the chainsaw.

BUFFY: I can see that.

SPIKE: Makes sense to me.

Xander comes back to the group.

XANDER: I returned the equipment. Buffy! You missed one helluva vampire massacre.

ANYA: A massacre of vampires, not by them.

BUFFY: How much massacring are you talking about?

GILES: I killed 12.

XANDER: I did four.

ANYA: I did four solo, plus assists on Xander's four. He tossed them into my fire.

GILES: That would make 20.

ANYA: Have you ever killed 20 at once? Or in a single night?

BUFFY: Why won't my reality STOP unraveling?

SPIKE: How did you kill one score vampires? Assuming they weren't just bloody suicidal to begin with.

GILES: Fire. Also stakes, arrows and heavy machinery.

SPIKE: Don't forget chainsaws.

BUFFY: I know I can't.

Eight new vampires come up a side street and surprise the gang from behind. Giles tries to start his chainsaw, put the first pull doesn't do the trick. A vampire kicks it out of his hands. Buffy punches the vampire in the face, and Spike tosses him back. Three other vampires attack Xander, Spike and Giles. Two vampires charge at Buffy. She prepares to fight them, but they run right by her and converge on Anya. Suddenly being mistaken for the Slayer doesn't seem so fun. She assumes a fighting stance and pulls out a stake in her right hand and a cross in her left. Rather than jump her right away, the vampires size her up and keep their distance.

BUFFY: Okay. This has gone too far.

She grabs one of the vampires from behind, spins him around, and punches him with a right hook.

BUFFY: I'm the Slayer, you moron!

She tosses that vampire on his back. The other one punches Anya in the face, and she goes down hard. Buffy leaps over Anya and kicks that vampire in the face, knocking him on his back. The three remaining vampires go after Buffy. She kicks one in the face, trips up another, blocks a female vampire's left cross, punches her in the face, and decks her with a right roundhouse kick.

BUFFY: Get it? Me Slayer.

The vampire who punched Anya leaps at Buffy from behind. Buffy turns her head, reaches her right arm out, and stakes it.

BUFFY: You dust.

She hurls her stake at the vamp right in front of her, dusting it. The female vampire kicks Buffy in the right side of her face. The first vampire she knocked to the ground punches the left side of her face. Buffy grabs them by their hair and bashes their heads together. Buffy notices her sword on the ground, picks it up, and beheads both vampires before they can get to their feet. She charges the fifth vampire. He runs, but she is able to slice his left achilles' tendon. He screams and falls to the ground, Buffy beheads him.

Giles hits the vampire who was attacking him with a right cross. He pops Giles in the jaw with a right hook. Giles ducks under a left hook and lands right and left jabs to the vampire's nose. The vampire hits Giles in the stomach with a right uppercut. He throws a left hook, which Giles moves back to avoid. The vampire charges Giles and throws a right cross. Giles moves to his left, grabs the vampire's right arm and pushes him forward. The vampire runs head-first into a light pole and falls to the pavement. Buffy has just finished dusting five vamps and looks to assist the others.

BUFFY: Hey Giles! Need any help?

Giles picks up his chainsaw and starts it up. Buffy hears the roar and sees Giles approaching his vampire.

BUFFY: Guess not.

She turns around and walks away. The vampire tries to get up, but Giles saws off his right leg just above the knee. Buffy winces as she hears the screams. Giles then decapitates the vampire. Xander hits a vampire with a right jab. She knocks him down with a right hook. He pulls out a cross, which prevents her from biting him when she jumps on top. The cross causes her to roll off him. They both get up. Xander blocks a left hook with his right arm, and lands a left cross. She grabs him and tosses him into a wall. Xander remembers he has a mace, pulls it out and hits her in the left side of her skull when she attacks. The vampire backs up. Xander holds the mace in his right hand and a stake in his left. Buffy walks over and grabs the vampire from behind.

BUFFY: May I?

XANDER: Knock yourself out.

Buffy tosses the vampire face-first into a brick wall.

XANDER: I mean, of course, knock her out.

Buffy kicks kicks her in the chin, then punches her in the face with left and right hooks.

BUFFY: I left my stake in one of her friends. You mind?

Xander stakes her. Anya gets up and runs over to them, rubbing the spot on her left cheek where she was punched.

XANDER: Couldn't have done it without you.

ANYA: Why thank you.

XANDER: No. I meant — wait, I guess I mean both of you.

Giles comes over.

GILES: Did you know that when you slay a vampire, his severed body parts also turn to dust?

BUFFY: Where's Spike?

Spike was taken on by a tall, burly vampire names Lewis. Spike tosses Lewis, charges him, then gets thrown himself. Their fight quickly spills over onto a back street on the opposite side of Main from where Xander and Buffy ended up. Spike goes bumpy and lands a left hook. Lewis lands a left jab, but Spike blocks a right hook and answers with a right jab. Lewis sizes up his opponent.

LEWIS: Why are you fighting with them? You're one of us.

SPIKE: I never was one of you, even when I was on your side.

Spike connects with a right kick. Lewis pegs Spike in the nose with a powerful right jab. Spike backs up.

LEWIS: I get it now. You got your soul back. You're the vampire with a soul!

SPIKE: What tipped you off, mate?

Spike lands a right cross, then blocks Lewis's right hook. Lewis grabs Spike and tosses him into the brick wall of an apartment building. When Lewis charges, Spike knocks him back with a right kick.

LEWIS: It's really you. You're Angel! [he assumes Angelus got his soul back within the last few days, possibly when the sun came out.]

Spike snarls and leaps at Lewis, taking him down. He bashes the back of Lewis's head into the asphalt four times. He hits Lewis twice in the face with his left fist. Then he stands over Lewis, grabs his shirt with his left hand, and prepares to pummel Lewis's face with his right fist.

SPIKE: I! [punch] Am! [punch] Not! [punch] Angel! [punch] You! [punch] Stupid! [punch] Git! [punch]

Spike picks Lewis up and hurls him head-first into a utility pole. Lewis grabs the pole with both arms to keep from falling down. He staggers towards Spike, barely conscious.

LEWIS: Dude. Don't be so touchy.

Spike snaps Lewis's neck and he turns to dust. Buffy finds Spike. She heard the yelling but wasn't listening closely enough to understand what he was saying.

BUFFY: Something the matter?

SPIKE: Sure, they're from out of town. But you've made a name for yourself. You figure they'd recognize you.

BUFFY: Tell me about it.

NEXT: Buffy stakes Scott, but not before he tells her about his sire, Angelus. Spike and Buffy engage in some friendly post-battle bonding. And Janice, Mike and Peter pick the perfect moment to attack Dawn and Connor.


	26. Attack of the Ex Boyfriends

[Buffy and the gang finish off the vampire hordes. But then things only get worse for Buffy. Scott Hope is going to make Angelus proud by really getting underneath Buffy's skin. Then she gets in a fight with, of all vampires, Spike. Not to mention Anya's inappropriate comments about Xander's penchant for pre-sex role playing and Giles's Anya-esque metaphor for how Connor sees Buffy-Angel.]

Connor and Dawn are upstairs in his bedroom. Dawn seems a bit nervous.

DAWN: Nice candles.

CONNOR: The lights don't work in some rooms.

DAWN: Right. I noticed that.

CONNOR: I found these in the basement when I moved in.

DAWN: Well. They're . . . nice.

Dawn is standing with her back to Connor about ten feet in front of him. Connor walks over, hugs Dawn from behind and kisses her neck.

CONNOR: Something the matter?

Dawn turns around.

DAWN: Connor, there's something I want to tell you.

CONNOR: Okay.

Connor takes her hands in his, backs up and sits on the end of the bed. Dawn looks down at him.

DAWN: I know we haven't really known each other that long, so this may sound a little weird, and it may scare you or freak you out, but I love you, Connor.

CONNOR: I love you too, Dawn.

DAWN: You do??

CONNOR: Yeah. My whole life, people cared about me because of who my father was, or because I could do something for them. You're the first person to care about me for no reason except that I make you happy, and you want me to be happy. Of course I love you.

Dawn leans forward and kisses Connor. He puts his arms around her, lies back on the bed, and she gets on top of him.

Buffy and the gang walk down Main Street.

GILES: How did you already know this?

SPIKE: Back in New York, when vampires tried to defy me, I chopped off their arms and legs and dumped what was left in Battery Park. They'd scream and moan until the sun rose and took them out of their misery. First time I noticed, I was as surprised as you were. Guys gets toasted, and his leg in some sewer two miles uptown also catches on fire.

GILES: Did it work? Your method of terrorizing vampires?

XANDER: Can we talk about something a little less gory and sadistic?

ANYA: I was rather liking Spike's story. Their ability to withstand punishment makes vampires very excellent targets for vengeance. Once, in Goteburg, I tried to curse this adulterer, but between the time he betrayed his wife and when I arrived to punish him, he had been turned into a vampire. I looked at unexpected development this as an opportunity. I could torture a vampire in so many more ways than I could a weak, fragile human.

SPIKE: I hate to be agreeing with Xander, but can we change the subject?

BUFFY: Shouldn't we be tracking the rest of them down? They could have split up.

GILES: They'll come to you.

BUFFY: Why wouldn't they feed and make me come to them?

SPIKE: They can feed anywhere in the world. Vampires only come to this town for one reason.

BUFFY: Let me guess. To kill me?

SPIKE: You think we come for the culture?

GILES: Spike's right.

ANYA: About this town being a dead-end backwater?

GILES: Yes. But also about their purpose. They see a rare opportunity to overwhelm a Slayer through sheer force of numbers.

XANDER: And know we see them.

Two blocks down the road, across from City Hall and near the high school, 25 vampires have assembled on the town green. They are formed up in a wedge five rows deeps, one in front, three behind him, five behind them, seven behind them, and nine in back. Buffy approaches, with Spike behind her and to her left, Giles behind her and to her right, Anya behind and to the left of Spike, and Xander behind and to the right of Giles. Anya holds a crossbow in her right hand and Spike's large ax in her left (she needs it more than he does). Giles holds a crossbow and Xander holds a mace in his right hand and Buffy's sword in his left. (Giles put the chainsaw back in the trunk of his car. He worried that a vampire could take it away from him and use it to go after Buffy.) Buffy stops advancing when she is 100 feet away from the vampires. The two delta formations stare at each other. Neither seems willing to make the first move.

ANYA: Would this be the overwhelming part?

XANDER: We forgot to bring the fire with us. I miss fire.

Buffy stares down the vampire at the apex of the wedge. Spike and Giles don't seem worried.

SPIKE: Now might be a good time for me to finish my story.

XANDER: We don't care about your stupid story!

SPIKE: Yes Rupert. It did work. Because they'd rather run that fight. Get it?

GILES: I knew that even before I heard your grisly fable.

ANYA: You mean this is all a big game of chicken? That's your plan? Make them blink first?

BUFFY: More than half of them are already dead. They have every reason to run.

XANDER: And if they don't?

BUFFY: We slay them until they do.

ANYA: A lives are still hanging by a lot of ifs.

The four vampires in the first two rows rush at Buffy. After a moment of indecision, the five vampires in the third row also attack. The other 16 vampires stay where they are. The five vampires closest to Buffy go after her and Spike. Giles, Xander and Anya group together and back up. The other four vampires come at them. GIles fires his crossbow and dusts one of them. Anya drops her ax and aims her crossbow. She hits a vampire in the chest, but misses his heart by an inch. He goes after her. The other two vampires hold back after seeing one of their own get dusted right in front of them. The attacking vampire pulls the bolt out of his chest with his right hand and tries to stab Anya in the neck. She grabs his right arm with both her hands. He knocks her on her back with a left hook. Xander and Giles attack the vampire from his left. Xander hits the vampire upside the head with his mace. Giles pops him in the face with the front of his crossbow. Smarting from this blow, the vampire grabs the crossbow from Giles's hands and tosses it to the pavement. Xander attempts another mace shot to the noggin. The vampire grabs the mace handle with his left hand and hits Xander's stomach with a right uppercut, knocking the wind out of him. Giles connects with a right hook, but then is knocked down by a right hook from the vampire. Xander nails the vampire in the mouth with a left jab, but is sent to the ground by the back of the vampire's left hand. Anya has gotten to her feet and picked up the ax. She swings at the vampire from his right and beheads him. She helps Giles and Xander up. They prepare for another attack, but it doesn't come right away. The vampires are focusing on what happens with Buffy.

Spike, who is to Buffy's left, hits a vampire that is on his right with a right jab. A vampire on his left hits Spike with a right hook. Spike answers with a right hook of his own, then knocks the vampire down with a right roundhouse kick. The other vampire hits Spike in the face with left and right punches. Spike takes a few steps back. He blocks the vampire's next two punches, then answers with three of his own, knocking this vampire down as well. 

Buffy leaps at the vampire directly in front of her and knocks him down with a right kick. She decks the vampire to her right with a left roundhouse. She faces the vampire on her left, blocks a right hook, then responds with a right uppercut to her chin. She hits Buffy with a right roundhouse, but Buffy blocks a left kick, lands two left jabs, then knocks her down with a right back flip kick. She lands after the flip very close to the other two vampires. One kicks her in the back. She gives him a right elbow without turning around. The other vampire leaps at Buffy. She catches him in midair, slams him on his back and kicks him in the head while he's down. The other vampire tries a right kick for her head. Buffy ducks and sweeps the vampire's left leg, taking him down. The female leaps at Buffy and kicks her in the chest. She falls down in between the two male vampires, who are also on the ground, but Buffy vaults to her feet before they can grab her. She blocks a right kick from the female vampire and hits her with a right jab and left and right crosses. A left roundhouse sends the vampire spinning to the ground. Buffy tosses her stake at the vampire while she is on her back. She catches it between her hands and smiles. Buffy kicks down on the back of the stake, driving it into the vampire's heart. She looks shocked by the practical joke Buffy has played on her, and turns to dust. Buffy reaches down and picks up the stake. Crouching down, she pivots, confronts a vampire who is charging her, grabs his legs and tosses him over her shoulders. She goes after the other vampire.

Spike grabs one vampire and tosses him to the ground. He focuses on the other, landing left and right punches to his face. He knocks the vampire back with a right kick. The other vampire comes at Spike from his left. He pivots and knocks the vampire down with a right reverse kick to the chest. He approaches the other vampire, takes a right cross, but lands a left cross and a right uppercut. The uppercut sends him flying backwards. Spike turns as the other one charges him from behind. The vampire grabs Spike. Spike head-butts him, hits him with the back of his right hand, avoids a right jab, lands a left hook and kicks him in the ribs. Spike knocks him down with a right roundhouse and stakes him.

Buffy hits the vampire she is attacking with left and right punches to the stomach. She takes a right hook but connects with left and right crosses to the face. She kicks him in the chin, bashes his nose with a left jab, then stakes him. The other vampire facing her retreats, as does the remaining vampire fighting Spike and the two vampires who refrained from attacking Giles, Xander and Anya. These four vampire run back to the other 16, who then join in the general retreat. Within a minute they are gone.

ANYA: Is that it? Do we have to worry about those guys anymore?

SPIKE: Most will skip town as fast as they can run to their cars.

GILES: We killed more than half of the vampires who came here with them. The survivors got the message.

BUFFY: I think your mega-massacre sent that message. Thanks for the huge help. It's great to know I can count on you guys to slay vamps in mass quantities.

XANDER: Hold it. Count on? As in again? Sure, it was fun, but I'm not looking forward to being called on for a repeat performance.

ANYA: Can we get land mines? If we have to do this again, that would make things much easier. And what about hand grenades?

GILES: Oh dear. She's turning into the Initiative.

SPIKE: No she's not. She can actually kill vampires. I'd like to see one of them do what she did without their expensive gizmos and gadgets.

ANYA: Good point. Not only is Buffy superior to them, but all of us are. Xander is manlier than them. As so am I, I guess. Does this make me a bigger man than Riley?

Spike smirks and bites the inside of his lower lip to keep from laughing.

XANDER: That's a very unsettling notion. And a little bit of a turn-on. Which is even more unsettling.

ANYA: Relax. It's just the Slayer fetish. Me being a pretend Slayer. Like the role-playing we sometimes did before sex.

Xander looks down at the ground and gets very red-faced. Spike also appears to be embarrassed.

BUFFY: I really wish I hadn't heard that.

ANYA: It was Xander's idea. I only did it because it really turned him on.

XANDER: It's not what you think. Whatever you're thinking, it wasn't like that.

GILES: I wish the vampires were still attacking.

SPIKE: It wasn't like you made her wear certain outfits, right? [now that he has a soul, his guilty conscience betrays him.] What I mean is, it was a Slayer thing, not a Buffy thing.

Xander is mystified as to why Spike is trying to help him out. But he seizes the life preserver Spike has so inexplicably thrown towards him.

XANDER: Exactly.

ANYA: Of course. I would never pretend to be Buffy for him. Some things are too kinky even for me. Not that he EVER asked me to do that. NEVER. Because if he did I would have left him.

BUFFY: I think I'm going to kill some more vampires. Mopping up. You three go home. Great fighting. I'll be back in a little while.

Xander, Anya and Giles walk off towards their car.

XANDER: Why did you bring that up?

ANYA: I didn't know it would embarrass you. Buffy thinks everything's about her. It's like she her ego needs you to be sexually obsessed with her.

GILES: Anya, if you're not going to change the subject, then please do me the courtesy of hitting me over the head with the blunt side of your ax.

Buffy goes off scouting for vampires. Spike at first doesn't follow her, presumably because of guilty memories of that thing he did with Harmony.

BUFFY: Spike. Come on.

SPIKE: Sorry.

BUFFY: We have to kill that Lush demon.

SPIKE: Leshi.

BUFFY: Whatever. The big white furry thing that will help take my mind off you know what.

SPIKE: I think you're overreacting to what Anya said.

BUFFY: I meant Dawn.

Driving home in the car.

GILES: Of course I'm worried that Connor might be under the control of the First. But what worries me even more is that he might not be.

XANDER: You think he's evil?

GILES: No. Evil things kill without motive.

XANDER: You're not what happened is Buffy's fault?

GILES: Certainly not. But if Connor attempted to kill Buffy out of his own free will, he will try to do it again.

XANDER: What could possibly be his motive?

ANYA: Sounds like I'm not alone in my Buffy the Homewrecker theory.

XANDER: There was no home for her to wreck!

GILES: We know that. But Connor doesn't. Everyone wants to believe their parents loved each other, even if they are evil. The idea that your mother was not first in your father's heart is very painful. Imagine if Buffy's father came to town and told her that he had fallen in love. With Cordelia. And furthermore, he told Buffy that he had never really loved Joyce, and that Cordelia was the one true love of his life. How do you think Buffy would take that news?

ANYA: I never knew you had such a disturbing imagination. I'm very impressed.

XANDER: It's not even remotely like that. For starters, Joyce wasn't evil!

GILES: As I said before, try to understand it from Connor's skewed and tremendously distorted point of view.

ANYA: Dear God. I had no idea his hatred was so visceral. In Connor's mind, Buffy must be some sort of horrible monster.

XANDER: One more reason we have to get him out of this town right away. Am I right, Giles?

GILES: Yes. Finally.

ANYA: I wonder how Dawn's going to feel about you guys running her man out of town. 

XANDER: He's not her – they're not – they can't be. It's just downright unnatural.

ANYA: Maybe she'll step her juvenile delinquency up a notch. Go from shoplifting to arson, perhaps. Or she get chatty with some Vengeance Demons again. My point is, sometimes the disease can be worse than the cure.

Buffy and Spike happen upon two vampires in an alley. They have just bitten into a middle-aged couple. Buffy grabs one vampire by the back of his hair, pulls him off the man, and knocks him to the ground with a right cross. The other vampire stops biting the woman, notices Buffy and Spike, and decides to make a run for it. Spike chases him. The terrified couple gets away as fast as they can. When the vampire returns to his feet, Buffy grabs his shirt and pushes his back against the wall.

BUFFY: And now it's your turn to get attacked.

She punches the vampire four times in the face, slams the back of his head into the wall when he tries to run away, then hits him with two right jabs and a left uppercut. She stakes him and walks away, not sure where Spike is. While traveling along Main Street, a man on the opposite sidewalk sees Buffy and bolts. Not very smart. She couldn't even tell he was a vampire from that distance, especially since he had on his human face and his fashions were not at all outlandishly anachronistic. Buffy gives chase.

Spike chases the vampire for about two blocks. The vampire tries hiding behind a dumpster. Spike pushes the dumpster out of the way. The vampire who was hiding hits Spike in the face with a metal trash can lid. Spike grabs his nose in pain. The vampire hits Spike in the chin with a right uppercut. Spike goes bumpy and grabs the vampire by the throat with his left hand.

SPIKE: I'm not an idiot. I know this won't kill you.

Spike delivers two right punches to the vampire's stomach. He lets go of the neck and hits the vampire in the face with right and left hooks, then gives him a right kick to the nose. He grabs the back of the vampire's jacket and throws him face-first into the pavement.

SPIKE: And neither will this.

Spike grabs the vampire's hair and slams his head into a wall. Then he slams it twice into the street. Spike lets go and stomps his right foot four times on the vampire's skull. He stops when he notices it's fractured and blood and brains are oozing out. Spike goes back to his human face, grabs his nose and pulls it back into place. He stomps once on the vampire's skull with his left boot, then rolls the vampire on his back so he can look him in the face.

SPIKE: I know that can't feel good. Care to say "I'm sorry"? Or has the part of your brain that allows you to talk already oozed out of your cranium? I don't like making you suffer. Who am I kidding? I bloody well like it. What I meant was, I don't like having to go to the trouble of making you suffer. I much prefer quick, clean and painless deaths. But you had other ideas. [pulls out his stake] Now nod if you want me to kill you.

The vampire nods twice. Spike bends down and stakes him.

SPIKE: Nothing like granting a bloke his dying wish.

Spike walks into a nearby tavern.

SPIKE: Bourbon, straight up. Make it a double.

Spike sees a man at the other end of the bar hitting on an attractive young woman. He decides to make some trouble. It's been a while since he's had a good bar fight.

The vampire flees one block east, crosses a street, climbs up on the roof of a building and keeps running forward. Buffy runs on to the next street. The vampire doubles back, jumps down to the sidewalk and runs north for two blocks, where he smells blood. He ducks into an alley where a small vampire is feeding off a burly teenager who is wearing a Sunnydale Football varsity jacket. The vampire senses someone is trying to vulture his kill. He turns to the new arrival and growls. When he has had his fill, he drops the body to the ground.

SCOTT: All yours, loser.

The vampire bites down on the victim's left wrist and sucks up a few drops before he hears someone running up a nearby street. He lets go of the victim and rises to his feet. "It's the Slayer," he whispers. Scott smiles.

SCOTT: Don't worry. I got your back.

Scott grabs the vampire from behind and throws him out onto the street. Buffy turns around and comes at him. He looks to his right at Scott, who is still hiding in the alley. Scott smiles, shrugs, leans against the wall, and gets a good look at Buffy in action while being concealed in the darkness. He goes back to his human face, wiping the blood off his lips and chin. Buffy hits the vampire in the face with a right hook, kicks him in the stomach, and lands a left uppercut to his chin. He falls on his back. When he gets up, he tries a right hook which Buffy blocks. She connects with two right jabs, then a left roundhouse kick which sends him back to the ground. Buffy bends down and stakes him.

BUFFY: Seems like they're getting easier.

SCOTT: [whispering] Wrong.

Buffy walks south. Scott runs one block west, one block north, then one block east. He runs towards Buffy from behind. She turns around. When she sees Scott, she puts away her stake. Scott looks nervous and is hyperventilating.

SCOTT: Buffy. Things are crazy out here tonight. I'm scared.

BUFFY: It's okay. I'll take care of it.

SCOTT: Right. Cause you're the protector. The one who looks out for us.

BUFFY: Yeah. Same old, same old for me.

Scott smiles. He's acting like his old sweet, sensitive self.

SCOTT: It's been such a long time. I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch.

BUFFY: It's okay. People grow apart after high school.

SCOTT: You might have heard that I've undergone a few major changes in my life.

Scott smiles sheepishly, like he's embarrassed discussing this with an ex-girlfriend.

BUFFY: I heard something about your . . . lifestyle change.

SCOTT: That's one way of putting it. I want you to know, it's entirely your fault.

Spike downs the drink and smashes the glass into the man's left temple.

SPIKE: You should try leaving the birds alone.

The vampire goes bumpy, growls and grabs Spike. Spike head-butts him and tossed him into the back wall. The woman slaps Spike in the face. "What is your problem, jerk!?"

SPIKE: He would have hurt you in the end.

Spike heads to the back of the bar, grabs the vampire, and throws him out the rear exit. Spike heads out after him. "He didn't even pay for his drink!," the bartender angrily notes. None of the people inside saw the guy's vampire face, so they just assume Spike's some psycho who beats up guys who make him jealous. Spike picks up a broken-off piece from a 2x4 which he finds propped up next to the dumpster. The vampire looks at Spike. He's confused.

LENNY: Where are your freaking manners? You don't just move in on another guy's territory! Find your own place to feed.

SPIKE: Manners? Etiquette? We're vampires!!

Spike whacks Lenny in the side of the head with the 2x4. Lenny goes down. Spike stakes him with the pointy end of the wooden board. He laughs when he realizes that he did just this sort of thing when he was evil. Except back then he would go back into the bar, eat the girl, the bartender and anyone else who caught his eye or gave him lip.

Buffy is hurt and outraged by Scott's accusation.

BUFFY: What is this, some kind of joke?

SCOTT: It's the truth. I am the man I am today because I dated you. You are responsible for what I've become. I think it would be best if you face facts and stop living in denial.

He hits her face with a right hook. Buffy goes down. She wasn't prepared for the punch. As she gets up, a look of horror comes across her face as Scott smiles down at her.

BUFFY: Oh no.

SCOTT: Oh yes.

He throws another right hook. Buffy blocks it and lands a right hook of her own. Scott goes bumpy. It's painful for Buffy to witness. She kicks him in the mouth. He backs up. She leaps at him and kicks him in the face. Then she lands a left jab. Scott responds with a left jab and tries a right cross. Buffy ducks to avoid it. She hits Scott with a right hook. He hits her back with one of his own. She sends him to the ground with a left roundhouse kick. Buffy stands there and recovers her composure as Scott rises to his feet. He goes back to his human face.

SCOTT: It's okay, Buffy. I know you have to kill me. It doesn't have to be difficult. Why don't you tell me to close my eyes? That's what Angel did.

Buffy is stunned by this revelation. To add insult to injury, that's what she told Angel before she sent him to Hell. Scott takes advantage of Buffy's distraction. He kicks her in the face, grabs hold of her, and tosses her head-first into a utility pole. She gets up, looking angry and emotionally wounded. The sort of look she had right before she kicked Angelus in the groin five years ago. Scott's just making it easier for Buffy to kill him.

SCOTT: Now I know why you lost interest in me. Hell, I would have dumped you for Angel. Let's face it. The guy's a major hottie.

Buffy hits Scott in the face with a right cross. He goes bumpy and keeps backing up, buying time for more taunts.

SCOTT: That man sure knows how to fill out a pair of leather pants. What a hunk! Rare to find beefcake with such a pretty face. And that smile. To die for.

Buffy lands two left jabs. Scott responds with a right hook. Buffy follows this up with two of her own. Scott kicks her in the stomach. He tries a right uppercut, but Buffy grabs his right fist, pulls his right arm behind his back, and tosses Scott face-first to the ground. When she closes in, he trips her up, then gets to his feet. When he attacks Buffy while she's down, she kicks him in the face and vaults to her feet. Then she lands a left roundhouse, causing Scott to take a few more steps back. He gets a big smile on his vampire face.

SCOTT: Do realize that now we have something in common? We were both seduced by Angel! And what's more, after he hurt us, WE BOTH FORGAVE HIM!!!

Buffy floors him with a right hook. She reaches down and gives him two left punches before pulling Scott up to his feet. She throws him into the wall, leaps at him and kicks Scott in the head.

SCOTT: Hey! Come on!! Remember, I'm the victim here!

Buffy punches him with two left-right combinations.

SCOTT: We both know who the villain is.

Buffy gives Scott a right kick to the stomach, then a right kick to the ribs, then a left kick to the head. She grabs Scott's collar with her left hand and connects with three straight right hooks. Even she knows these are gratuitous. Buffy keeps holding onto Scott with her left hand and grabs her stake with her right hand. Scott goes back to his battered, bloodied and bruised human face.

SCOTT: Shouldn't you be doing this to Angel?

Buffy stakes him, then stands around, trying to deal with what just happened. She thought demon-killing would take her mind off her personal problems. But Angelus had other ideas. Thirty seconds after Scott Hope turned to dust, Spike comes running up.

SPIKE: There you are. Something bothering you?

BUFFY: I just staked an ex-boyfriend.

SPIKE: I'll go out on a limb and assume he was human when you dated him.

BUFFY: Angel sired him last night.

SPIKE: That sounds like Angelus.

Buffy gets a confused look on her face.

BUFFY: Scott was gay. [Spike shrugs]

SPIKE: Plying the rough trade. Guess Angelus really is back to his old tricks.

Spike walks towards the forest. Buffy walks alongside him.

BUFFY: What is that supposed to mean?

SPIKE: Nothing. I'm sure he sired the guy only because of his connection to you. Wait a bloody minute. Was he gay when you dated him? I know you have a preference for chaste relationships with men –

BUFFY: He wasn't. Not back then. Started going out with another girl like the same day he broke up with me. He dated a lot of girls. And what's that supposed to mean about my chaste relationships with men?

SPIKE: What's with the paranoia?

BUFFY: What's with the subtext?

SPIKE: There's no bloody subtext. When did you get so thin-skinned and defensive?

BUFFY: Around the same time you got so snide.

SPIKE: Haven't I always been snide?


	27. Friends And Lovers

[Wesley gets really friendly with Kelly. Spike and Buffy get personal. And Dawn and Connor receive a rude awakening from Janice, Mike and Peter.]

The bar in the lobby of the hotel. The gang sits around a semi-circular booth. Kelly sits on one end, with Wesley to her left, Fred to his left, and Gunn to her left. They're all knocking back a good amount of suds. After all their recent stresses – the Beast, permanent midnight, Angelus, evil Cordy – this is the first chance they've had to relax in a long, long time. Meanwhile, Lorne is getting back to performing.

KELLY: Is this his day job? I mean his night job? I mean [laughs], his real job?

GUNN: Used to be. He owned a club.

WES: Caritas. Catered to humans and demons. Destroyed or blown up on several occasions. Eventually he just threw in the towel.

KELLY: Who says we can't all get along? [drinks some more] He's quite good. Never seen a Kareoke machine put to good use before.

FRED: Lorne also listens. He's an empath. [downs a tequila shot] You sing, he can read your thoughts. Sometimes he can predict your future, your destiny.

KELLY: Sounds more like a curse than a gift. Who wants that kind of burden?

WES: [signals the waitress] Can we have another round of shots? Thank you. It's been a while since he's listened. The last thing he heard blew his mind.

FRED: Literally. Well, it would have, but the people Lindsey used to work for sucked it out of his brain. They gave the info to some psychics, and their heads all exploded.

KELLY: It really ain't easy being green.

That's what Lorne happens to be singing at that moment. Kelly giggles, and the others laugh as well. The shots arrive, they clink glasses, down the liquor and chase it with some more beer.

WES: Now Kelly, I've been wondering, how did you get into demon fighting?

KELLY: First, a warning – my story's a lot more boring that any of yours'. I wasn't born into it, or grew up fighting them, or got enslaved by them. I was just a boring girl from San Diego. Did Army ROTC in college. Found out I couldn't serve in the front lines or do Special Forces. Graduate, get commissioned, find out there's an SF unit that doesn't care if you're a girl. So I go through training, qualify, and then find out we're supposed to fight demons. Wasn't aware when I signed up that we were a joke to the other black ops.

GUNN: Cause they didn't believe in demons?

KELLY: No. Because demons don't shoot at you. But our fighting makes up in quantity what we lack in quality. Ranger combat's ten times more stressful. But we're sent out to fight something new every couple days. They're not always in the field. It doesn't help our reputation that the rookies like to wear kevlar and dress like ninjas cause it makes em feel tougher.

GUNN: Bullet-proof vest ain't gonna do jack to protect you from a vampire.

KELLY: That's what I tell them. We're supposed to blend into the scenery, not stick out like extras from some Tom Clancy movie. Anyway, I did that for five years. About a year ago I shifted to the reserves. Still help with training and stuff.

WES: You make your money fighting as a mercenary?

KELLY: Some of it. But I make a lot through consulting.

WES: There are demon consultants?

KELLY: It's a become a big field overseas. Government first hired a lot of us as mercenaries to fight the demons. Then they realized it's a lot cheaper to hire a few of us as consultants to advise home-grown forces. Like the fighters Gunn used to lead. The people defend their own neighborhoods and villages. We supply the equipment and the knowledge.

WES: I have a lot of knowledge. And experience. You're telling me these things can be lucrative?

KELLY: With the right foreign contacts. Don't you know people from when you were with that international NGO? What was the name of the group you worked for again, Wesley?

WES: The Council of Watchers.

KELLY: I've heard of them. English guys?

WES: Predominantly.

KELLY: Someone once told me that the Watcher's Council was a bunch of librarians who pretend to be spies. You don't seem like the type.

WES: Well I've, progressed, and grown, since leaving them. Since getting kicked out, actually. A dishonorable discharge, in your lexicon.

KELLY: Sounds like it was your lucky break. Those who can't do, watch. You obviously can do.

WES: Cheers to that.

They clink mugs and throw back some more beer.

KELLY: We sometimes used people connected with the Council as sources. But even though they're set up like a spy agency, they have no secrecy. No encryption. Anyone who wants to can get a list of their operatives and knock them off one by one without much effort.

WES: Someone actually has. Over the past year.

KELLY: Can't say they weren't warned.

WES: You mean the U.S. military knew about the First Evil in advance? [Kelly laughs]

KELLY: I think maybe we've both had to much to drink. Cause what I just heard –

WES: Never mind.

KELLY: I meant they had been warned about their non-existent security procedures. But I think they have a problem with Americans. Knew a guy in intell who said they hadn't gotten over the Revolutionary War.

WES: Actually, half of them haven't gotten over Hastings, and the other half haven't gotten over the Saxon Invasion.

Kelly laughs. Wes and her are sitting a lot closer than they were at the start of the evening.

FRED: They've sure hit it off.

GUNN: Look on the bright side. Least she's not evil.

FRED: I'll drink to that. [they clink glasses and both finish off their beers] Least she's not evil? We really are setting the bar rather low these days.

Lorne launches into Jackie Wilson's "To Be Loved."

LORNE: "Someone to care. Someone to share. Lonely hours, and moments of despair. To be loved. To be loved. Oh, what a feeling, to be loved."

GUNN: Our boss is trying to kill us. One of our best friends is cooking up an apocalypse. And this morning we thought it was a miracle when we saw the sun rise.

FRED: [laughs] Yeah. We're so happy we could cry.

Puts her left hand on top of Gunn's right hand. Leans her head against his.

GUNN: Really puts life in perspective.

FRED: Makes you realize what matters.

LORNE: "Some wish to be a king or a queen. Some wish for fortune and fame. But to be truly, truly, truly loved is more than all of these things."

Into the woods in the middle of the night.

BUFFY: I can't believe we forgot our weapons.

SPIKE: Metal and wood can't pierce this demon's skin.

BUFFY: Then how to do get his heart out?

SPIKE: By hand. Watch out for the size shifting. He can't do it when someone's grabbing on to him.

BUFFY: So you jump on his back and I punch him.

SPIKE: I'm just glad the vampires are gone. The longer they stayed, the more super-demons the Hellmouth would have coughed up to balance them.

BUFFY: More John Teshis?

SPIKE: You know that's not its name.

BUFFY: But John Tesh IS a demon?

SPIKE: Part demon. But it's the part of him that's not evil.

BUFFY: Sounds like our demon's approaching.

SPIKE: He'll come after me. His kind hates vampires more than anything.

BUFFY: How do they feel about Slayers?

SPIKE: Not sure a Leshi's ever seen one.

BUFFY: So this will a first for both of us and – wow – he's big.

The ten-foot tall Leshi approaches. It is covered in white fur, and has two six-inch long white horns on top of its skull. It almost glows in the night, which makes it both very easy to see and extremely intimidating. Buffy tries to kick it in the chest with her right foot. The Leshi disappears. It becomes the size of an ant, scurries under Buffy's left foot, and sprouts back to full size, tossing Buffy into the air. She crashes through several branches and slams into a tree trunk.

BUFFY: Is this that thing you warned me about?

Spike goes bumpy. This provokes the Leshi. As defenders of either humans or demons, they are always enemies of vampires. It swats its left paw at Spike. He moves back out of the way. The Leshi lands a right uppercut which knocks Spike on his back.

BUFFY: How did you kill this thing?

SPIKE: Patience . . .

The Leshi tries to step on Spike with its right foot. Spike rolls out of the way and gets to his feet. The Leshi throws a right hook. Spike grabs its right wrist with both his hands and hurls the Leshi to the ground, but not without great difficulty.

SPIKE: . . . and by not trying to hit it. Too tall to hit in the face. Try for the body, and he disappears. You saw that.

The Leshi stands up and goes back after Spike. He retreats. Buffy gets behind the monster, leaps onto its shoulders, and snaps its neck. The Leshi falls forward and crashes into the earth. Instinctively, Buffy gets up and thinks her job is done.

SPIKE: That should buy us about five seconds.

The Leshi stands up and twists its head back around.

Buffy rushes the demon and punches it in the chest, trying for its heart. As she lands the punch, the Leshi grabs her round the neck with his left hand. Spike charges in to the rescue and gets picked up by the demon's right paw. The Leshi's planning to swallow both of them. Spike bites down on the demon's right index finger. It yelps and drops him. Buffy manages to yank off one of the Leshi's long, thick fingernails, and stabs it into the demon's left palm. This frees her. The Leshi gets down on all fours and charges Spike as if it were a large bear. Spike picks up a good-sized rock and throws it into the demon's face. When the blow causes the Leshi to hesitate, Spike leaps onto its back in an attempt to get at its heart. The demon stands up and backs into a tree. Spike realizes he's made a big blunder. Buffy kicks the demon in the left knee, then sweeps out its right leg. The demon falls to the ground and disappears. The collar of Spike's coat is caught on a tree branch. He dangles for a few seconds before the branch snaps and he falls onto a pile of twigs. Luckily, nothing pierces his skin.

The Leshi shrinks to the size of a squirrel and runs up a tree near Buffy. It perches itself on a branch 15 feet above her, then leaps to the ground. By the time it has grabbed Buffy from behind, the demon has returned to full size. Buffy is knocked face-first into the dirt. She rolls over and tries to keep the monster from mauling her. Spike runs at the Leshi from behind and grabs its left arm As he tries to pull it away from Buffy, the demon swings at Spike's face with his right paw. Spike ducks to avoid this blow and punches the demon in the chin with a left uppercut. The distraction enables Buffy to break free and get back to her feet. Spike grabs a log lying on the ground and swings it, tripping the Leshi up. He leaps on top of the prostrate demon and tries again for its heart. The Leshi grabs Spike with both hands and pushes him away. Spike flies back 20 feet through the air until his back hits a tree trunk and he is impaled on a branch. Spike looks down at his chest. The branch stuck him three inches below his heart.

SPIKE: I hate the bloody forest.

Spike tears the branch out of his flesh and falls to his feet. The Leshi knocks Buffy down with the back of its right paw. The demon growls at her. Spike approaches the Leshi from behind and hits it in the back of the skull with a rock.

SPIKE: Forget the girl. I'm the one you really want.

The Leshi turns around to face Spike. Spike growls. The demon sees the bumpy, big-toothed, yellow-eyed bloodsucking mongrel and moves towards Spike. The Leshi came to kill vampires, after all. It swipes at Spike's head with the right paw. Spike ducks, but is kicked to the ground by the demon's right foot. The demon bends down to attack Spike. Spike grabs its right paw with his left hand and its left paw with his right hand. While the Leshi is trying to overpower Spike (which of course it could do if given enough time), Buffy leaps onto its back, punches her right fist through the demon's chest and pulls out the heart. Spike pushes the momentarily dead demon off of him and get to his feet. Buffy tosses the heart to Spike. He looks at the unappetizing meal and takes a big bite. He appears nauseous as he takes a second bite and gulps to swallow the heart. The Leshi disappears, leaving behind a large carpet of white fur on the forest floor. Spike grimaces and grabs his stomach.

SPIKE: Worse than kidney pie. I think I'll need something to wash it down. You mind?

He leans in towards Buffy's neck. She moves back. Spike shifts to his human face.

SPIKE: Come on. Just a pint. You'd hardly notice.

BUFFY: That's not funny.

SPIKE: It's not serious, either. How bout you buy me a pint? Maybe drink one yourself. [a few seconds of quiet. Buffy looks confused and disgusted.] I'm not talking about blood.

BUFFY: Oh! Right. Of course.

Wesley and Kelly walk down the hall.

KELLY: Well then. This would appear to be my stop. It's been fun.

WES: It has. You're leaving tomorrow?

KELLY: In the morning. Or whenever it is I crawl out of bed. Best of luck with all your myriad existential dilemmas.

WES: Thanks for helping me forget about them for a while.

Kelly kisses Wes. He kisses her back and holds her head. She puts her left hand on his chest and runs her right hand through his hair. After ten seconds they both pull back, looking a little stunned by what has just transpired. There are a few seconds of silence.

WES: I should be –

KELLY: We both should be. [Wes puts his arms around her waist. Kelly puts hers around his shoulders and pulls him close.] As fun as this would be, something tells me we'd both regret it tomorrow.

Wesley worries sleeping with Kelly would hurt his chances with Fred. But Fred has been very friendly with Gunn tonight, and they both had left the bar together, so if they were hooking up and Wes spent the night alone, he'd feel like a chump.

WES: It's a shame you have to depart so soon.

KELLY: I'll give you a ring next time I'm in town.

Kelly kisses him again for a few seconds. Wesley is confused.

KELLY: Just wanted to get the taste of Angelus out of my mouth.

Wesley smiles. It's nice to be with a woman who would definitively prefer him to Angel if she had the choice. Even with a soul, Angel's not Kelly's type.

Kelly passionately kisses Wesley for twenty seconds before letting go, smiling and opening her door.

KELLY: End of the line. I have a policy of not sleeping with men when I'm drunk who I would sleep with when I'm sober. Cheapens the whole experience.

Kelly goes inside and shuts the door. Wesley stands in the hallway for a little while, regaining his composure and recovering from that last kiss. He goes into Lindsey's suite. Gunn is sleeping on a couch in the living room. Fred has the bed in the bedroom. Wes crashes on another couch in the living room.

Spike and Buffy share a pitcher. Spike drinks most of it, but Buffy has a couple glasses. After all she's been through, she needs it.

SPIKE: So why did you go to college in the first place?

BUFFY: You know, to be with my friends.

SPIKE: Willow went, Xander didn't. You break even either way. Plus that doesn't explain why you tried to re-enroll. What was the attraction? After everything that happened, why would college still matter to you?

BUFFY: Guess it makes me feel like I have a future. Something to shoot for besides surviving the next apocalypse.

SPIKE: You didn't want to lose the thing with feathers.

BUFFY: That does it. I'm cutting you off.

Buffy pulls Spike's glass away from him. He pulls it back.

SPIKE: You didn't want to lose hope. Hope is the thing with feathers. It's a line from a poem.

BUFFY: It's lame. One of yours?

Spike laughs.

SPIKE: Emily Dickinson.

BUFFY: Really? Cause I've heard of her. I'm pretty sure she's really famous and really good. Once dated a guy who was a big fan of hers.

SPIKE: And which boyfriend would this be?

BUFFY: Owen. We went out on one date. The night the Anointed One rose.

SPIKE: Looking back, I pity the Annoying One. He had to spend all his time with that boring old fart. Fate worse than death.

BUFFY: You knew the Master?

SPIKE: We met once. There was a generation gap. And a clash of philosophies. He was too stupid to have one.

BUFFY: So Owen followed me to the morgue. We were attacked by a vampire. He was knocked out, nearly killed. Told me the next day he loved it. Wanted to feel alive, start fights in bars. He was 17? Why would he go into a bar in the first place?

SPIKE: Sounds like a Hemingway fan. I always hated Ernie. Big-talking nancy boy hit like a girl and never could hold his liquor. Scotty was the twice the man Hemi ever was. For that matter, so was Zelda.

BUFFY: Who are you talking about?

SPIKE: Sorry. Name-dropping old friends and literary giants. Should've known better. And I guess I was wrong. You don't have a thing for vampires. The men in this bloody town are just losers. You really didn't have a choice.

BUFFY: It's not me, it's them? That's sweet – in a self-serving way. [Buffy looks at her watch. It's 1:00 am, but it feels much later.] What a . . . strange night. Thanks for being there, for watching my back, for everything. You're the only one who hasn't let me down. That means a lot to me.

Connor wakes up. He looks to his left and sees Dawn sleeping. Connor smiles and runs his left hand through her hair. He kisses Dawn softly on her right eyelid. She opens her eyes.

DAWN: Morning already?

Connor kisses her right shoulder.

CONNOR: I could let you sleep a little more if you want.

Dawn and Connor roll on their sides to face each other.

DAWN: No. Too excited to sleep. How bout you? How do you feel?

CONNOR: Different. This was different than the other times. [Dawn looks worried] It was better.

DAWN: It was? You're not just saying that cause that's what you're supposed to say?

CONNOR: This time, it meant something. It felt like we weren't two separate people, like we became one. I've never felt that before. It was new. Like the two of us, like we –

DAWN: Made love?

CONNOR: Yeah.

Connor rolls on top of Dawn and kisses her. She wraps her legs around him. He kisses her neck. Dawn closes her eyes for a few seconds. When she opens them, her eyes get very big. She sees three vampires standing on the opposite side of the room.

DAWN: Connor!!!

She pushes Connor off of her. He sees the intruders. He's also extremely shocked. It doesn't make sense. They weren't invited in.

MIKE: Please, don't mind us. Finish what you were doing. I'll be happy to watch.

JANICE: I always thought I was the wild one. Now I know why you no longer sleep over at MY house.

DAWN: Janice!!? [Dawn looks pained and horrified]

JANICE: Guess daddy's not the only one in the family who likes em young.

CONNOR: Angelus made you?

PETER: Just like he made you. Except you were an accident. He CHOSE to make me.

As someone who was an evil human, Peter is very grateful to his sire for giving him this unimaginable power. He wants to prove he's Angelus's REAL son.

Connor puts on his jeans and stands to the left of the bed, next to Dawn, who's filled with both grief and fear.

PETER: If I had known you were this easy, I really woulda asked you to Winter Formals.

Peter and Mike gaze lecherously at Dawn. Connor narrows his eyes. He's ready to kill. Now if only he knew where the nearest stake was.

JANICE: Angel thought it was a shame we had lost touch.

Connor sees that the nearest stake is across the room on top of the dresser and behind the vampires. To get it would mean abandoning Dawn, which Connor does not want to do.

PETER: Mikey, how bout we take turns with her?

They both look at Dawn and grin. Peter's the leader, while Mike's the obedient sidekick. Janice walks up to Peter and caresses his left cheek with her right hand. He looks at her and growls excitedly. She pouts.

JANICE: And what about me?

PETER: You can drink her when we're through. Sire her if she's been a good sport.

MIKE: Told you the gang needed another girl. [Janice won't give Mike any play. He's getting frustrated.]

Peter is trying to bait Connor into attacking him and leaving Dawn unprotected. For once, Connor's not rash enough to fall for it. So Peter goes with Plan B. He attacks Connor to keep him occupied while Mike goes after naked Dawn, who's only covered by a bedsheet. She fears if she gets out of bed to put her clothes on it will only make her more vulnerable. Peter rushes Connor, whom he envies partly because of Dawn but mostly because Connor is Angel's true son. Connor lands a right jab and a left cross. Peter grabs Connor's arms and tosses him to the other side of the room, separating Connor from Dawn. Connor tries to run back to her, but Peter hits Connor with a right uppercut. Connor connects with a right cross and a right kick. Peter grabs Connor and pushes him into the side wall. Connor shoves Peter away and knocks him back with a right roundhouse.

Once Connor is out of the way, Mike jumps on top of Dawn. She pulls the sheets up tight and sits up against the headboard.

MIKE: And to think I wasted all that time on Cassie.

Dawn punches Mike in the face with a right cross. He pins both her arms down.

MIKE: Bet it's more fun when you wiggle.

Connor and Peter are fighting between the dresser and the bed. Connor grabs his stake in his right hand. Peter hits him with a right hook. Connor jumps up and lands a flying right kick, knocking Peter on his back near where Janice is standing.

JANICE: Need any help?

Dawn pulls her knees into her chest and kicks Mike away from her. He sails off the bed and towards Connor, who stakes him.

PETER: Nope. But he might. [Peter says this as Mike turns to dust]

JANICE: It's better without him.

PETER: I know.

Peter resumes the fight. He leaps at Connor and tackles him to the ground. Connor drops his stake. Janice jumps up and stands on top of the mattress, looking down at Dawn, who is deeply upset to see what's become of her old friend.

DAWN: Janice. I'm sorry.

JANICE: I'm not.

DAWN: You should be.

Dawn yanks the sheets towards her, pulling the rug out from under Janice. She falls on the mattress and rolls to the floor. Then she leaps at Dawn and looks at her face-to-face.

JANICE: What should I be sorry about?

DAWN: That you're about to die.

JANICE: Tough words from a girl in your position.

DAWN: What are ya gonna do? Bite me?

Janice leans her head forward to bite the left side of Dawn's neck. Dawn grabs Janice's hair and slams her forehead into the headboard, which happens to be made of wood. Dawn grabs one of the slivers in her right hand and stabs Janice's back. She pushes Janice's body to the floor, where it disintegrates.

While they grapple on the ground, Peter gets on top of Connor and punches him in the face. Connor tosses Peter off of him and they both get to their feet. Connor kicks Peter in the face. He blocks a right cross and connects with two right jabs and a left hook. Peter tries a left hook. Connor grabs his left arm and tosses Peter into the side wall. He picks up his stake, hits Peter in the chest with a left roundhouse kick, and stakes him. Connor turns and looks at Dawn. She appears to be okay. She runs over to Connor, still wrapped in the sheet. He hugs her.

CONNOR: Did they hurt you?

DAWN: No.

CONNOR: Always said you could handle yourself. Even during something crazy like this. [Connor kisses the top of her head] It's okay.

DAWN: Can't believe he did that to Janice.

CONNOR: Were you two friends?

DAWN: We used to be best friends.

CONNOR: He wanted to hurt you. Make you feel bad. Don't let him win. Don't let him ruin this.

DAWN: Don't worry. I've been through a lot worse.

She looks up and kisses Connor.

CONNOR: You're too tough for him. He can only hurt the weak.

DAWN: He's not your father. He's not Angel. You know that, right?

CONNOR: My father's not a coward. Angelus is.

Dawn starts to get dressed.

CONNOR: I just can't figure out how they got in.

DAWN: You're squatting. Are you sure they have to be invited in by you?

CONNOR: My first night, I captured a vampire and brought it here for the Potentials to practice on. I had to tell it that it could enter.

DAWN: Wait. Angelus could have brought them in. Stashed them in the basement. Then this would be like their home.

CONNOR: How could he get in?

DAWN: You don't know?

CONNOR: Know what?

DAWN: Angel used to live here. [Connor looks shocked] Buffy told me last night during dinner.

CONNOR: Why does he always do this to me?

He's reversing the chronology in a way which perplexes Dawn. In his mind, Angel's the copycat. Teenager like to think the world revolves around them.

CONNOR: Did he sleep with Buffy here? PLEASE tell me they didn't!

DAWN: They didn't. Not here. I'm sure of that. [Connor breathes a huge sigh of relief]

CONNOR: Jasmine in the courtyard. I should have known. Did he put that ugly demon statue downstairs?

DAWN: Yes. It's a long story we don't need to go into right now. Or ever. Let's just call it a bad interior decorating decision.

CONNOR: It was. But it looks funny outside. Like it's standing guard. Doesn't it?

DAWN: Depending on your point of view, yes, it's humorous. [Spike finds it humorous. Buffy finds nothing about Acathla humorous.]

CONNOR: You probably should head home, get ready for school. I'll check the basement, make sure there aren't any more surprises, then come over to see you.

Dawn walks with Connor to the front door, gives him a long kiss goodbye, then leaves. Connor goes down to the basement and finds nothing. He takes a shower, after which he heads over to Buffy's house.

Dawn walks through the front door. She's humming.

DAWN: The birds are singing. I know, they sing every morning. But don't they sound really good today?

BUFFY: Dawn. You didn't. Please tell me you didn't.

DAWN: We did.

Dawn walks upstairs. Buffy stands in the hallway. For more than a minute, she doesn't move a muscle. In the back of her mind, she knew this probably would happen. But she wasn't prepared for when this hypothetical became a reality. Willow walks downstairs.

WILLOW: Just saw Dawn going into the bathroom. I think she was singing. Buffy? Buffy? Are you there? Is something wrong? Buffy?

Buffy walks out the front door. Willow goes into the kitchen and makes coffee. She hears something that sounds like a muted siren outside. She opens up the back door and sees Buffy inside Xander's car, screaming at the top of her lungs. Buffy does this for close to thirty seconds, until her face is red and the veins on her neck and forehead are bulging. It seemed to her like the only socially acceptable way to vent. Buffy walks back in through the rear door. Willow puts together Dawn's happiness and Buffy's rage.

WILLOW: Okay. I think shock is an appropriate response. Did she really do what I think she really did? [Willow knows the answer from the look on Buffy's face. Willow sits down.] Oh boy. Oh boy. Let's both take some deep breaths and try to calmly work through this.

Willow notices that throughout all of this Andrew has been standing over the stove, frying flapjacks on a skillet, oblivious to what was happening around him. They're using too many pronouns for Andrew to realize what is afoot. Someone knocks twice at the front door. Willow and Buffy are confused. They walk to the door. Through the peep hole Willow can see Connor, standing there and smiling.

WILLOW: Connor doesn't knock. He never knocks.

NEXT: Connor has breakfast with Buffy, Willow, Kennedy, and of course Dawn. As Buffy tries to control her emotions, Willow and Kennedy notice that Connor's personality has undergone a deeply ironic transformation.


	28. The Morning After

Willow opens the door.

CONNOR: Hi Willow. May I come in?

Willow is at first frightened by Connor's politeness. It's so out of character.

WILLOW: You want to be INVITED in? Isn't that . . . um, uh . . . Buffy?

Willow looks nervously at Buffy. Buffy says nothing.

CONNOR: Where's Dawn?

WILLOW: She's in the shower.

Connor smiles. Willow answered without thinking about the consequences. Now she wishes she hadn't been so forthright. Connor's dirty little imagination causes Buffy to walk into the living room. She opens up the weapons chest and pulls out a short sword and a metal file. Giles uses it to sharpen the weapons.

WILLOW: Well, now, isn't this, uh . . .

Willow's nerves kick in. She walks back into the kitchen, determined not to get in the middle of this. Connor enters. He goes into the kitchen for something to eat.

CONNOR: What smells so good?

ANDREW: That would be me. I mean, my chocolate chip pancakes. Thank you. Connor? You don't usually ever come here for breakfast.

CONNOR: You can put chocolate in pancakes? Cool.

Connor sits down at the table. Willow's sitting across from him, drinking her coffee and trying her best not to be freaked out by scary nice Connor. Andrew gives him a plate of pancakes. Connor eats a couple.

CONNOR: These are very good.

ANDREW: Thank you. Thank you very much.

Now Willow's really wigged. Connor's being nice to Andrew! At that moment, Andrew thinks it's just because Connor finally appreciates his efforts. Kennedy comes into the kitchen wearing her pajamas.

KENNEDY: Morning guys. Connor???

She turns away from Connor, looks at Willow, and mouths the words "what's going on?" She knows the futility of trying to whisper around Connor.

CONNOR: Hi Kennedy. How are you today?

Kennedy sits down next to Willow and inches her seat away from Connor. She looks at Willow, mouthing "what the hell!?"

CONNOR: Can I have some more pancakes?

Andrew smiles and gives him another plate. Connor ASKING for food? This has gone too far.

KENNEDY: Willow, tell me you didn't do a spell on him.

WILLOW: No. The black arts have nothing at all to do with this. At least, I mean, I hope they don't. [thoughts of Dawny and Connor make her a little queasy.]

Buffy walks into the kitchen, staring at Connor, sharpening her sword. Large sparks fly off the surface of the weapon.

CONNOR: Buffy, I'm sorry for what I did to you last night. I wasn't myself. Something was controlling me. But I'm better now. And I don't want to hurt you. Ever again. I feel really bad about what happened.

BUFFY: Just don't let it happen again. Cause next time —

She points the sword at Connor from 10 feet away. He gets the message.

CONNOR: I know. I don't want to hurt people. Especially not people Dawn cares about.

Connor really was killing Buffy with kindness. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. Buffy assumed it was a trick. After all, he was nice to her yesterday when he was plotting to kill her. No way she was going to trust Connor. Dawn comes down for breakfast.

DAWN: Morning guys. Connor!

CONNOR: I told you I'd come and see you.

DAWN: R-r-right. I didn't know that meant here. In the same room as Buffy. Why are you holding a weapon!?

Buffy puts the sword on the kitchen counter. Dawn gets a bowl of cereal and sits to Connor's right. They look at each, smile and hold hands. Kennedy jumps back in her chair when she realizes what happened. She looks at Willow.

KENNEDY: So they've?

WILLOW: Uh-huh.

KENNEDY: Oh dear.

Kennedy looks at Buffy behind her and Connor in front of her. Dawn entwines her left leg with Connor's right leg. Connor puts his right hand on her leg. Dawn puts her left hand on his knee. Andrew finally understands what's up. He thinks it's adorable.

Buffy is pouring herself a glass of orange juice.

DAWN: Buffy, since you're up, could you get me one too?

Buffy takes out an empty glass from the cupboard and holds it in her right hand. When she sees how cozy Dawn and Connor are, she squeezes the glass and shatters it in her hand.

ANDREW: Okay. No more coffee for you.

Dawn gets the idea, and decides to get Connor away from Buffy.

DAWN: I don't want to be late for school.

She gets up from the table and grabs her book bag. Connor takes it and carries it for her. They hold hands and walk out the front door. Willow and Kennedy go into the hallway and look out the open door, watching them walk away for a few seconds. Then they close the door and walk back into the kitchen.

KENNEDY: Do guys usually act this nice the morning after? And Connor was never nice. It's like he's become a whole different person.

WILLOW: Sleep with him and he goes good? Wouldn't that be ironic.

BUFFY: He's not good. He's faking. Connor's trying to fool us. That's what he does. It's just a trick.

KENNEDY: Is the part where he couldn't stop making moon eyes at Dawn part of the trick?

BUFFY: I don't know how he really feels about her. I don't want to know. I don't even want to think about it. But I know we can't trust him. He has a history of getting people to trust him and then trying to kill them.

WILLOW: A very recent history. Wait. Connor tries to kill you, and Dawny sleeps with him that very night! That's just makes it so much more disgusting that it probably already was.

KENNEDY: You think there's a connection, like she was rewarding him?

WILLOW: No! What I meant was, your boyfriend tries to kill your sister, that should put you out of the mood. It's just so wrong. In so many ways.

KENNEDY: It was wrong even before Connor tried to murder Dawn's family.

WILLOW: I'm sorry, Buffy. I know how horrible this must be.

BUFFY: She's never even had a boyfriend. Never even been out on a real date. And now, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, she's practically living with the guy. This can only end badly. I just wish she could see that.

ANDREW: I think they're a very cute couple. Like Anakin and Padme, but with chemistry, and better hair.

WILLOW: That's a ridiculous and ominous analogy.

ANDREW: It's deeply imperfect. I'm not saying Connor will turn evil, or that Spike is Obi Won. No, wait. That would be cool! Obi Spike, not evil Connor. Non-evil Connor says nice things to me about my cooking.

Xander comes through the back door.

XANDER: I fixed the deck up. Good as new. Buffy, what's wrong? Did something happen? Let me guess: Connor. What did that little twerp do now?

BUFFY: Dawn.

XANDER: Dawn? With Angel's, Angel's, Angel's son? Dawn and Angel's . . . I'm gonna kill him. I need air.

Xander rushes back outside.

KENNEDY: Buffy, why is he taking this worse than you? "I'm gonna kill him"? That's what a dad would say.

WILLOW: No, it's not a daddy thing at all.

BUFFY: Thanks for that flashback, Willow. As if I wasn't sick enough already.

Anya enters.

ANYA: Why has Xander forgotten how to breathe?

WILLOW: Dawn and Connor . . . had sex last night.

ANYA: Lucky Dawny.

Buffy looks furious.

ANYA: I mean . . . lucky Dawny. [Xander comes back in] I'm sorry. But get over yourselves! Is this why Xander nearly asphyxiated? This is not about you! You don't even have a right to be upset. You're not her family. I HOPE you're not jealous. The only one of you who has a right to — how do you always put it? — wig out, is Buffy. But she's just doing that for selfish, petty reasons.

BUFFY: Anya, I am really not in the mood for your wacky, off-the-mark bluntness.

ANYA: Good. Because I'm right on the mark. You're jealous.

BUFFY: WHAT??? Connor's the last guy I'd want. I would sleep with Xander first.

XANDER: Thak you. Wait! I'm only SECOND-to-last in your book?

BUFFY: That's not what I meant.

ANYA: And it's not what I meant. You're jealous of Dawn because she can have with Connor what you couldn't have with Angel. He's mortal. He ages. He can go out in the sun. And he's not Cursed. It's natural for you to be filled with raging resentment at how unfair your life continues to be. But it doesn't matter whether their relationship makes you happy. What matters is whether it makes Dawn happy.

BUFFY: I know. I worry that he's going to hurt her.

ANYA: I think I know Connor better than you do.

BUFFY: Better than I ever want to.

ANYA: Connor's lovesick and lonely. Desperately wants someone to love him. He's not the sort who strays. He's the type who clings. That's why Dawn's lucky. That, and the fact that Connor's a volcano in the sack.

BUFFY: Anya, please stop it.

Giles walks into the kitchen in his bathrobe, groggy and bleary-eyed. He pours himself a cup of coffee.

ANYA: I'm just saying maybe we should be happy for Dawn. There are a lot worse men than Connor to lose your virginity to.

Giles is about to sip the coffee. Instead he pours it down the drain.

GILES: That jolted me out of semi-consciousness. Can't say we didn't see this coming.

XANDER: We should have neutered him when we had the chance.

GILES: Connor?

XANDER: Angel. You know, the source of the problem. Funny how you always let him off the hook.

BUFFY: I'm going into work now.

Buffy leaves. She's not in the mood for Xander's Angel bashing.

After the school day started, Connor walked back to his house. He was startled to find a little girl inside.

MARIGOLD: Hi Connor. My name's Marigold. Will you play with me? He said you would play with me.

CONNOR: Where did you come from?

MARIGOLD: I was playing with my mommy and he took me from her. But he said it would be alright because now you would play with me.

Connor slowly backs away. This whole thing makes his stomach crawl. He didn't find any more bodies in the basement. When he walked through the house earlier that morning, Marigold hid in the fireplace. She smiles and holds her arms out.

CONNOR: Okay. We'll play outside.

MARIGOLD: No! Then my pretty new dress will get dirty. Let's play in here. There's plenty of room. This house is so big. Much bigger than my mommy's and daddy's house.

Innocent-looking, yet full of evil. Angelus loved the classics. Maybe he wanted to give Connor a tiny taste of what Holtz had to do. Connor picks up little Marigold. She screams and cries and begs. He runs to the door, opens it and tosses her out into the yard. She looks back at him, growls and puts on her demon face. Her back catches fire. Marigold runs back towards Connor, who's standing on the porch. She disintegrates less than three feet in front of him, and her ashes fell at his feet. Connor decides it's not a good idea to stay home during the daytime.

Dawn steps out of the classroom at the end of second period. She is shocked to see Connor standing there waiting for her.

CONNOR: Hello lover.

He kisses her.

DAWN: What are you doing here?

CONNOR: I missed you.

Standing down the hall, watching it all, is Drusilla. She wears a long black cloth coat with a hood. She laughs.

DRU: Just loik his mum.

She walks away and strolls past the guidance office, glimpsing Buffy at her desk. Then she stops at the door to the Principal's office and looks through the window in the door.

DRU: Little boys. All grown up.

Robin thinks there's someone outside his office. He opens the door and looks up and down the hall. No one is there. Dru had already ducked down into the basement.

Giles takes Chao-Ahn, Madari, Ariella, Fadila, Izora and Joan to the mall for some clothes shopping. These girls fled to Sunnydale with little or nothing, so the excursion is more about necessity than fashion. Giles reminds them of this every time a Potential wants to buy something Giles considers outrageously overpriced. Giles calls Wesley several times, but gets no answer. When they are all at the food court eating lunch, he decides to call again. It is 12:30.

Lindsey walks into the command center. He hears a phone ringing and answers it.

LINDSEY: Hello? [he sits down and puts the phone to his left ear]

GILES: Who is this?

Lindsey looks at the phone.

LINDSEY: Are you calling for Wesley?

Faith walks in. She goes over to Lindsey and bites his right ear.

GILES: Tell him this is Rupert Giles.

Faith's kissing Lindsey's neck.

FAITH: Who is it? Someone important? [she nibbles on his earlobe.]

LINDSEY: It's for Wes. Guy says his name is Rupert Giles.

Faith grabs the phone and stands up.

FAITH: Hey G-man! It's been a while.

GILES: Faith? Faith, is that you?

FAITH: The one and only.

GILES: How have you been?

FAITH: Never better. Vamps are running in fear.

GILES: Is Wesley around?

FAITH: Yeah. I'll go find him. He's probably still recovering from last night.

GILES: Last night was busy for you guys?

FAITH: Action-packed. Bad guys went down hard.

She enters Lindsey's suite, where Wes and Gunn are still sleeping it off. Wesley is snoring. Faith closes his nostrils and he awakes, startled and a little hungover.

FAITH: It's Giles.

Wesley takes the phone and sits up. He rubs his eyes.

WES: Hello Rupert. [his voice is a little hoarse]

GILES: I have some news for you about Connor.

Heather and Erica are in the hallway, walking from the living room to the dining room, when they hear two light taps at the front door. Heather opens the door. Standing outside is a woman dressed as a nun.

DRU: Is Mista Rupert Giles here? I'm the Seer. The one who helped him save you precious lovely girlies.

HEATHER: He's not here right now. He'll be back in a little while.

DRU: Bless you, deary. I have travelled a long way to be here. If I could only sit down and rest my weary bones.

HEATHER: Sure. Come in.

Dru steps inside and bites Heather. She grabs Erica's throat with her left hand to keep the girl from screaming. When Heather has been weakened, Dru stops biting her and bites Erica. When she drops Erica to the floor, Dru sees Vi standing in the doorway between the living room and the hallway. Vi is trembling and hyperventilating. Dru puts her left index finger across Vi's lips.

DRU: There, there. Nothing to fear. Mummy's going to make everything awl betta.

Dru grabs the back of Vi's head with her right hand and pulls her in, biting her.

WES: There has been an unforeseen development.

Gunn and Fred sit on either end one couch. Lindsey and Faith sit next to each other on another couch. Lorne stands in back drinking seltzer. Wes stands in front.

WES: It appears that Connor has fallen in love. With Buffy's sister.

FAITH: Dawny! Little Dawny? No!!!

FRED: You mean Angel's Buffy?

GUNN: Connor's in love with his father's ex-girlfriend's kid sister?

FRED: Why are all his relationships incestuous?

LORNE: Does this mean he's over Cordy?

WES: That would be the assumption.

LORNE: Hallelujah to that.

FAITH: When you say the boy's "in love," does that mean they've been screwing?

WES: In this case, yes.

FAITH: Boning B's sister right under her nose. Damn, that kid's got a pair on him.

FRED: Is this good news, bad news or just weird, creepy news?

LORNE: And when you say "kid," how young are we talking?

WES: Dawn is 16. Or she's two-and-a-half, depending on how you look at it. It's complicated. Faith and I think we have met her, but in reality we haven't.

LORNE: Is Dawn the big ball of universe-destroying energy who was turned into a little girl?

GUNN: Another destroyer?

FRED: To Connor, that's probably a turn-on.

Dawn walks into Buffy's office.

DAWN: Can we go outside and talk?

They do that. Buffy wants a one-on-one as well.

BUFFY: We do need to talk. Things with you and Connor have been moving so fast. I hope you're not under any illusions.

DAWN: You don't think he loves me? You're wrong.

BUFFY: That's not what I meant. You are aware that sooner of later, and probably sooner, he'll have to go home.

DAWN: And you probably wish he left yesterday.

BUFFY: You're putting words in my mouth. I just want you to be prepared. When he leaves, it's gonna hurt. And if you're not prepared, it's going to hurt even more.

DAWN: Don't get your hopes up. It's not like we'll be apart forever. But this isn't what I want to talk about. Angel sired Janice. Also Mike and Pete. They attacked us when we were in bed.

BUFFY: Oh Dawn. I'm so sorry.

DAWN: He killed them because they knew me. He sent them after me.

BUFFY: He did the same thing to me.

DAWN: No he didn't. Not like this. Not while you were . . . You've never been attacked like that.

BUFFY: I'm sorry about Janice. I know it must have been horrible. I'm so glad you weren't hurt.

DAWN: Who knows? Connor's in the shower. They attack. By the time he gets back . . . I mean, three of them and one of me. Maybe I would have lucked out and they'd kill me quick, but I doubt it. They seemed to take after their sire.

BUFFY: The important thing is you're all right.

DAWN: I don't want your sympathy. I want you to tell Willow to uninvite Angel. Because when he gets his soul back, if he comes to visit, I might do something. Throw a glass of holy water in his face. Set him on fire.

BUFFY: You can't hold Angel responsible for what he does when he doesn't have a soul. It's not him. It's a demon who wears his face.

DAWN: Funny how I don't remember you EVER saying that about Spike. Sure, you say he's changed. But it's still him. Soul, no soul, it's still Spike. But Angel gets a free pass.

BUFFY: What you're talking about, it's vengeance and it's wrong.

DAWN: I don't want to hurt Angel. I just want him to know that he's not welcome until I say he's welcome.

BUFFY: That's not fair to him.

DAWN: Because it might hurt his feelings? What about my feelings? Do his feelings matter more to you that mine? I'm your sister! You defend HIM, and tell me to just get over it?

BUFFY: You have every right to be mad at him.

DAWN: It's my house too.

BUFFY: Fine. I don't bring in people who tried to kill you, and you don't bring in people who tried to kill me.

DAWN: You and Connor, that's not the same.

BUFFY: You're right. Connor came over the very next day.

DAWN: Ever had to fight a vampire naked? Cause if you can't see the difference —

BUFFY: I do. But staying mad at him doesn't change anything.

DAWN: I'm not asking for vengeance. Just respect.

BUFFY: Okay. You win. If he comes to town, I'll tell Angel not to drop by the house. He probably wouldn't want to see me there anyway. Too crowded. Especially these days. By the way, how did you know where Connor and I were that night? Did he tell you?

DAWN: Giles told me you two were down by the water. I knew that meant trouble.

BUFFY: I know I should have said it last night, but thank you.

DAWN: Don't mention it. I owed you. I still do. Connor knows this now. He knows I love you. He knows what you've done for me. He won't hurt you again. I promise.

BUFFY: He's lucky to have you. Sure, he doesn't deserve you. Hes not good enough for you. But I hope he understands how special and amazing you are.

DAWN: Trust me. He does.

School just got out. Connor and Dawn are walking down the street.

DAWN: So . . . what do you want to you?

CONNOR: Let's go see a movie.

DAWN: I've already seen everything playing there.

CONNOR: So have I. [Connor smiles. As does Dawn.]

Just after dark, Vi, Heather and Erica wake up in Buffy's closet. They break down the door.

HEATHER: What happened? How did we end up here?

The three of them look into Buffy's mirror and see nothing. They feel their faces. All of them smile.

ERICA: Can you feel it? All that energy inside of us? The freedom!

VI: I'm thinking we should have gone shopping. Let's go now.

The three of them go back to their human faces, leave the room and head downstairs. Vi stops just in front of the door.

VI: We should pay our last respects to the basement. And to whoever's down there.

Heather and Erica like this idea. They head into the kitchen and walk down to the basement without anyone noticing. It's the beginning of dinner. People are milling around, talking and eating in the kitchen, dining and living rooms. Buffy is in the dining room with Willow, Xander, Dawn and Anya.

Rebecca, Rose and Theresa are downstairs doing a little target practice with the crossbow. Vi walks in front of the target an instant before Rose shoots. The bolt whizzes by her.

ERICA: You should be careful with those things.

HEATHER: I think it's time to stop practicing.

Vi, Heather and Erica approach Rose, Rebecca and Theresa, cornering them in the back of the basement. The victims aren't sure why these girls are acting so odd.

VI: After all, you never know when danger will come.

After finishing off their first meal, the new vampires exit through the basement windows and head for a clothing store on Main Street. Drusilla stands on the sidewalk, waiting to greet them.

DRU: Come along dears.

They follow her into the store. Dru snaps the cashier's neck and rushes to block the rear exit. She bites one customer who tries to flee. The girls work their way to the back, killing an employee and three customers.

DRU: Enjoy your supper. I have to play with dessert.

After the movie, Dawn went home for dinner and Connor headed back to his place. He napped for an hour, then changed his clothes, putting on black leather pants and a green t-shirt. Connor goes downstairs. As he walks to the front door, Drusilla comes in from the courtyard. She is wearing a long black skirt and a red sleeveless top with black dots.

DRU: Hello brother.


	29. Drusilla Goes To Work

[Drusilla sinks her teeth into Connor. Then she sinks her teeth into Wood after having a chat with Nikki. Vi makes a move on RJ. Angelus savors a good torturing. Then Connor and Spike rush to Buffy's house and piece together what's happened. But when Buffy sees Connor with a bite mark, and you know what she'll assume that means.]

Dru slowly walks towards Connor.

CONNOR: Who are you? How did you get in here?

DRU: Don't you recognize your own sister, Connor?

CONNOR: I don't have a sister. I can't.

DRU: You have a mummy and a daddy. I can feel them inside you. In every beat of your heart.

She puts her left hand on his heart and her right hand on his head. Connor is too confused and intimidated to fight at this point. She looks into his eyes.

DRU: I hear her insoid your head. Darla. Dear mum. She beams with proide. Mummy loves her Destroyer. Just wot she always wanted.

Dru backs up a few steps.

CONNOR: You don't know anything, whoever you are.

Dru laughs.

DRU: Grandmummy was so happy when I brought her back. She wonts the same for you.

Connor hits Dru in the face with a right cross. She giggles.

DRU: Such sweet, burning anger. The smell. Like rotting flowers.

Connor throws a left punch. Dru grabs his left arm and twists it. Connor grunts in pain and hits Dru with a right hook, knocking her back.

DRU: Foiting with daddy. Wasting your toim spilling your seed on the young girls. Loik Angel before your mummy set him free, made him great.

Connor kicks Dru in the stomach. She connects with a right cross. Connor hits her head with a right roundhouse. He runs up the wall and leaps at her. She stands still and blocks his kick, grabbing his right foot and knocking him on his back. Connor gets up. He tries another left roundhouse. Dru grabs his left ankle with both hands and throws him to her left. His back hits the wall just above the mantle. He falls to the ground, quickly gets up and approaches Dru very carefully.

DRU: You can't foit your destiny. You can't foit what you are meant to be.

Connor lands left and right crosses. Dru grabs his arms and pushes Connor back. Dru goes bumpy.

DRU: I can hear your blood surging. It cries out for my lips. It screams for me to end its pain.

Dru walks towards Connor. He punches her in the stomach. She lands a right uppercut to his chin. Connor sweeps her legs. Dru tries to sweep his while she is down, but he does a backflip to get out of the way. When she gets up, Connor connects with a right cross. Dru blocks a left roundhouse. She grabs Connor's throat with her right hand and throws him upwards. His head bumps into the ceiling and he falls to the ground. When Dru gets close. Connor sends his legs straight upward and kicks her in the chin. He does a backwards hand spring to get to his feet. Connor knocks Dru backwards with a cartwheel kick. He connects with a flying right spin kick. He pummels her face with left and right crosses, then knocks her on her back with a backwards flip kick. He pulls out his stake and leaps on top of her. Dru kicks him away with her right foot and he goes down as well. They both get up.

DRU: The windmills never did anything to you. Besoides, they don't even care if you foit them. Twisting twiggies feel no pain.

Connor charges in. Dru hits his face with a right jab. Connor answers with a right hook and a left uppercut. Dru steps back, puts up her hands, grins and motions him forward with her fingertips. He lands a left to her ribs and a right hook to her left ear. She blocks a left cross, but he slips a right uppercut through her defenses. Connor lands a right kick to Dru's ribs. She tries to grab his throat with her right hand, but he knocks her right hand away with his right arm and lands a left hook. Connor follows this up with right and left jabs and a right hook. Dru throws a right hook which Connor ducks under. He pops her in the chin with a right uppercut, pulls out his stake with his left hand and goes for the kill. When the point is two inches from her heart, Dru grabs Connor's left wrist with her right arm. She twists his arm back and to the side. He screams out in pain as she tries to break his arm. Or at least that's what it appears she's trying to do. Dru grips Connor's neck with her left hand, squeezes, then hurls him back into the wall. No sooner does his back thump into the stone than Dru is right in front of him. She pins his arms above his head with her hands. Then she bites down on the right side of Connor's neck.

Connor is seized by pain, fear and humiliation. Dru drinks a little more than a pint of Connor's blood before he manages to push her away with his right foot. Dru laughs, wipes her lips and returns to her human face.

DRU: Fear not, dear boy. We'll meet again. Some unsunny day.

Dru walks into the courtyard. She puts on her dark red coat and leaps over the garden wall. Connor slides down to the ground, grabbing his wound with his left hand. He sits there, breathing heavily, a pained look on his face. As the adrenaline of the fight wears off, he feels very lightheaded. Not from the blood loss, but from the shock.

Heather, Erica and Vi walk out of the store with their new clothes. Heather, 18, who is tall with long blonde hair, wears a short, slinky silver dress with black boots. Erica, 17, who is short and has short black hair, wears tight, shiny gold pants and a black bikini top. Vi wears red leather pants and a midriff-baring halter top with a pink floral pattern. The three of them swagger into the Bronze. The Donnas are performing onstage. They scan the busy club and smile.

VI: So this is the fun place Buffy never brought us to. I feel like making up for lost time.

On the other side of the club, RJ stands around with his friend (and fellow quarterback) Lance to his right and Aaron to his left. Aaron is the starting running back. None of them are wearing their varsity jackets.

RJ: Which one would you do?

LANCE: Singer.

AARON: Drummer. What about you, RJ?

RJ: Me? I'd just take the other two. [he chuckles]

AARON: This from a guy who can't even score with freshmen.

RJ: I've scored plenty.

LANCE: Not lately. Last few months you've lost your mojo.

RJ: Not so. My standards have just improved. Haven't even been trying to play the field.

AARON: Excuses, excuses. Face it, buddy. You're in a slump.

Erica points at Lance, RJ and Aaron.

ERICA: Look at that. Like an Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue come to life. [she laughs]

HEATHER: They're not so bad. I say we let them show us a good time.

VI: I call the blonde.

The three of them walk over to the boys, who definitely notice.

LANCE: Dude!! Check out the hotties at twelve o'clock!

AARON: I think they're checking us out.

RJ: What was that about a losing streak?

Vi walks up to RJ, Erica walks up to Lance and Heather walks up to Aaron.

HEATHER: You guys come here a lot?

AARON: Yeah. It's kind of the only place to go in this town. I don't think I've seen you around.

HEATHER: We're new in town.

ERICA: Heather was hoping you boys could show us a good time. Can you?

The guys look at each other. They can't believe their luck. Of course, none of them wonders if this is too good to be true.

LANCE: I know I can.

Lance and Erica smile flirtatiously at one another. Vi grabs RJ by his belt and pulls him towards her.

VI: Let's dance.

RJ: Okay.

RJ smiles sheepishly as Vi pulls him out onto the dance floor.

RJ: I'm RJ.

VI: I'm VI.

RJ: Vi? That's a . . . unique name.

VI: I'm a unique girl.

She starts grinding up against him.

RJ: I get that. I like it.

Erica takes Lance and Heather takes Aaron out on the floor.

As he often does, Wood is working late in his office. His mother appears before him.

NIKKI: You let me down.

WOOD: You're not my mother. You're not even real.

NIKKI: I was. Until Spike killed me. I'm gone, but he's still here. Why did you allow that to happen?

WOOD: I'm not talking to a ghost.

Dru breaks down his door and enters. She looks at Nikki and the two women smile at one another.

DRU: You should be proud of your boy. Hello Robin. It's been a while. No more hanging onto mummy's leg for you.

NIKKI: This is Drusilla. She's been meaning to kill you for a long time.

DRU: [pouting] He would have been so much tastier as a toddler.

Wood opens his weapons case in the wall behind his desk. He pulls out a two-foot sword and a small ax.

NIKKI: She told Spike about you. A Slayer with a kid? He thought she was crazy. She was. Doesn't mean she was wrong.

DRU: See wut happens when you don't do what mummy tells you?

NIKKI: You couldn't finish your job. So Dru's going to finish hers. I wasn't going to leave empty-handed.

Nikki vanishes. Dru looks at Robin and grins. He stands behind his desk, brandishing his weapons. Robin knows if he tried to flee out the window she would just run him down. He can't flee, so he'll fight. Dru looks around the room and down at the floor.

DRU: I killed a Slayer on this very spot. Hardly put up a foit. Not loik your mum. But that's how Spoik loiked it. Don't worry about William. I'll have my fun with him, too.

She kicks the desk towards Wood with her left foot. He jumps in the air and lands on top of the desk, well above Drusilla. She backs away from him. They stare each other down, neither willing to attack the other. Dru hurls a file cabinet at him. Robin leaps down from his desk and swings for Dru with his sword. She moves to her right, avoids the blow and gets behind him. Wood turns and swings his hatchet. Dru grabs his left arm and knocks the hatchet out of his hand. He swings the sword for her neck. Dru ducks and kicks Wood in the chest, knocking him into his bookcase next to the door. He tries a right kick. Dru blocks this. He swings the sword for her left arm, trying to cut off part of it or, at the very least, to injure her. Dru backs up and kicks the sword out of Wood's right hand with her right foot. He tries a right jab. She blocks this with her left arm and grabs his throat with her right hand.

DRU: Give my regards to your dear mummy.

Robin hits her in the stomach with his left fist. It has no effect. Dru crushes his trachea, then puts her right hand on his chin and her left hand on the back of his head, snapping his neck for good measure. She pulls his lifeless body towards her, goes bumpy and bites him.

Vi opens the door to the roof of the Bronze. She climbs up the ladder, then helps RJ up.

VI: Told you we wouldn't get in trouble. You can see the whole town from here. We're right in the middle of everything, yet we're all alone up here. No one to see what we're doing.

She kisses RJ for a little while, then pushes him down to the ground. She kneels over top of him and pins his arms down.

RJ: You're strong.

Vi: Is that a problem?

RJ: [grins] No.

VI: Good.

Vi pulls his shirt off.

Heather takes Aaron to the basement of the club.

AARON: Should we be down here?

HEATHER: No. That's the whole point. I'm a bad girl.

She sees a storage room with walls of iron mesh, like the cage in the old school library or in the basement of Willy's, where Kendra locked Angel up.

AARON: It's locked.

Heather turns the door knob.

HEATHER: No it's not.

They go in. Heather pushes Aaron against the mesh wall and puts her right leg up next to his waist. She kisses him.

HEATHER: Don't be so shy.

He puts his left hand on her right thigh. She rips open his button-down shirt and unzips his pants while kissing him some more. He puts his right hand up her dress.

Erica takes Lance outside.

LANCE: Where are we going?

ERICA: Where do you want to go?

She leaps up, wraps her legs around his waist and kisses him. He puts his arms around her. She leans straight back and holds onto him with her legs. Lance sighs in exultation. He puts his hands on her stomach and then pulls her back up. She kisses his neck.

ERICA: You said you had a car?

The vampires are assembled in the Hyperion lobby right after sunset.

ALANNA: He's been in his room all day with the door locked, listening to that depressing music.

TINA: Samuel Barber's Adagio for String Quartet.

VALA: We've never seen him like this. I'm worried.

ANGELUS: You know what will make me feel better.

He walks down the stairs. His face is still slightly scarred and his moves with a limp.

ANGELUS: Look at all of you. Worried. Lost. Rudderless. Afraid. Imagine how you'd feel if I really was dead. That's why I've been upstairs all day. To teach all of you a lesson. You have pledged your lives to me because you would rather perish than survive to live in a world without me. But I'm not asking you to die for me. I'm asking you to live for me. And we will live only if we fight our enemies as one. Tonight we strike back. We make them pay. We make THEM look stupid.

ALANNA: Master, we brought you some gifts as a sign of our endless devotion.

He sees three teenage girls – two blondes and one brunette – gagged and bound to the columns in the lobby. He unties and bites into one of the blondes. After he digs in, he takes her ball gag off to hear her scream. When she is drained, he moves on to the second blonde. He keeps her bound and gagged. Sometimes it's nice to hear muted screams, to know the victim wants to yell out but can't. He looks at the brunette and runs his right hand down her left cheek.

ANGELUS: Thank you ladies. Take her to the torture room.

Vala and Tina carry the helpless and terrified girl away. They shackle her to the room's wall and come back down to join the others.

ANGELUS: By the way, have any of you seen Cecil and Oscar? Never mind. Off you go. Make me proud. Make yourselves proud. And tell me who screams the loudest. My guess is one of the men.

Connor went to his bedroom and looked at his wound with a small mirror. The punctures were deep, and weren't yet healing. There was a crescent of teeth marks between the two punctures. Unlike Buffy, Connor never feared being bitten, never worried in the back of his mind about being turned into a vampire. It always seemed so inconceivable to him. Mostly, this was because Buffy had been told since day one that as a Slayer, she was going to die, going to be killed by vampires one day, and that that day wasn't very far off. No one ever told Connor he was doomed to die an early death in battle. And his ability to endure enormous physical punishment only added to his sense of invincibility. If the Beast couldn't kill him, what could? He had long feared being seriously injured. Now, for the first time, he feared death, as well as a fate worse than death.

Heather did some contrived moans to make Aaron happier and more enthusiastic. It also made him more willing to take Heather's punishment. Aaron was a big guy: 6 feet tall, 200 pounds. When he met Heather, he had no idea the fact that she liked it rough meant he would be the one getting pushed around. A criss-cross pattern of red bruises developed on his back from Heather thrusting him into the iron mesh wall as he thrust into her. He was too happy to notice. That was the whole idea.

AARON: Oh yeah. Yes! Yes! Oh, oh yes! Oh god, Oh god!

Heather then bit deep into his neck. She was going to finish before he did. That was the whole point.

AARON: OH GOD!! OH!!! OWwwww.

Aaron's voice trailed off as he quickly died from blood loss. Heather dropped him face-up on the concrete floor. He still looked happy. A tad confused, but more than a little ecstatic. She straightened out her clothes, went back to her human face and calmly walked away, humming along to the music upstairs. She walked through the Bronze and went out the front door. Vi, who was looking down from the edge of the roof, saw her. Behind Vi lay RJ's corpse, his face contorted in a mixture of rapture and horror. She leaped down to the ground. The two of them were soon joined by Erica, who left Lance lying across the back seat of his car. The three vampires are all smiling and happy.

VI: Nothing like getting them at their most vulnerable.

ERICA: And most excited. The heart pounding, the blood surging and gushing out. You can taste the passion.

HEATHER: Wonder what the police will tell their parents when they find the bodies? [they all giggle] Died with their pants down. It's nice to rob them of their life. Even better to strip them of their dignity. Scuse the pun.

VI: You ARE a Slayer. Punning's your birthright.

The girls all laugh.

ERICA: Anyone still hungry?

HEATHER: I'm just getting started.

VI: Let's go to the mall.

ERICA: That's pretty far from here.

HEATHER: Like four miles. Am I right?

VI: So?

Vi runs off. The others get the idea and also take off. It won't take them long to get there. They worried about the distance because they were still getting accustomed to their super powers, to not having to breath, to the fact that they can do the seemingly impossible.

After leaving Connor to stew in his own fear, Dru went to the local college as a diversionary attack. She walked through the library and slaughtered eight people. The sort of thing that would attract attention. Then she travelled back to the center of town. Now the real fun was going to commence.

Vi, Heather and Erica walked through the mall's parking lot. On the sidewalk behind them lay five dead teenage boys and three dead teenage girls.

VI: Now wasn't that worth the trip?

ERICA: Movie was fun. People sitting in their seats, just waiting for us to dig in. Like a living buffet.

HEATHER: That was what? An even dozen?

VI: There were only four people in the whole theater. Told you the Adam Sandler movie wouldn't be crowded.

HEATHER: We more than made up for it after.

ERICA: How many people do we have to eat before we get full? We each had like seven.

VI: Do other vampires eat this much every night? I doubt it, cause that's like 80 a week, and people would notice that much carnage. A vampire gang would run out of fresh bodies pretty quick in a small town like this.

HEATHER: But we're Slayers. We're special. We must be deadlier.

VI: We've been chosen. Twice.

ERICA: Doubly chosen.

VI: Who wants to head back to the Bronze?

HEATHER: Lets go for something a little older. Isn't there a college around here? Or maybe we could start a fight in a bar and just beat the crap out of everyone.

They all stop walking.

ERICA: Did you hear something?

VI: Mummy's calling us.

The three of them race to their sire. Dru can use her powers to signal them 

and draw them back to her.

Angelus runs outside.

ANGELUS: They took my Mustang! Those rat bastards!! After all I did for them, they clean me out. Screw em. Don't need them anymore. I can get money. That's not what matters now, anyway. And that's not what makes me happy. I'm sure a nice torturing will cheer me right up.

Angelus converted a room on the fourth floor into a torture room. The girl is shackled to the wall and gagged. Angelus removes the gag. She screams. For a long while. Angelus steps back to the other side of the room and chuckles.

ANGELUS: Go ahead. Scream all you want. My ears can outlast your larynx. Plus, I like it. Music to my ears. You have a wonderful vibrato.

Angelus looks through her wallet. He pulls out her high school id card.

ANGELUS: Picture doesn't do you justice. Meghan Collins. Freshman. Hey! You just turned 15. Congrats! What's your middle name? [she stays silent] Now, now. I have ways of making you talk. Ways that you won't like very much.

MEGHAN: Andrea.

ANGELUS: Meghan Andrea Collins. MAC. Cute initials. Now what's this in here? "If found, return to" . . . Malibu. Ritzy address. Good thing I know it. Now I can return you to your parents.

MEGHAN: Please don't hurt me. My parents will give you whatever you want.

ANGELUS: No they won't. Because what I want they can't give me.

She starts to cry.

MEGHAN: Why are you doing this?

ANGELUS: Every night. The same damn question! It gets on your nerves after a while. Maybe from now on I'll start skinning everyone who asks me that. Start with the stomach. Move on to the forearms. Don't take too much skin, cause then they'll dehydrate and die before their time. But your blood would soak into these oak floorboards and warp them. I'll need to do my skinning in the basement. So you luck out, Meghan. As for your question, in case you haven't noticed, I LIKE DOING THIS!! I need some good torture music. Something to put me in the mood.

He presses play on the cd player. Cecil left in Nirvana's "Polly." Angelus is not familiar with it. He decides to give it a chance.

ANGELUS: It's quiet. Means it won't drown out your cries of pain. That's a plus. What were you doing out all by yourself?

MEGHAN: I wasn't. I was with my friends.

ANGELUS: The two tender young morsels I already ate? I mean, technically, drank? [Meghan cries] Were you girls good friends? Were you best friends? Answer me Meghan.

MEGHAN: [in between sobs] Yes.

ANGELUS: What were three nice girls like yourselves doing out on the street after dark?

MEGHAN: Walking home from school.

ANGELUS: A little late for that.

MEGHAN: We came from cheerleading practice.

Angelus smirks.

ANGELUS: Really? I remember two cheerleaders I really wanted to do this to a few years ago. Prettier than you or your friends. Not that you young ladies aren't peaches, but these two were, well, off the charts. But I missed my chance. And do you know what happened? They grew up and turned into raging bitch monsters. Both of them. Miserable bitch monsters, of course. Both of them probably wish they were dead at least once a day. I should have saved them from the misery, the pain, the failure that comes with growing up, getting older, having your dreams dashed. [smiles] Course, as you've noticed, I LIKE it when people suffer. I think that's why I let those two live. Killing them would have been an act of mercy. What the hell is this crap I'm listening to?

STEREO: "Polly says her back hurts. She's just as bored as me. She caught me off my guard. Amazes me the will of instinct."

ANGELUS: I hate folk music.

Meghan laughs at Angelus's cultural cluelessness. He turns the stereo off and rushes over to her. He grabs her hair and pulls it until it really, really hurts.

ANGELUS: What's so funny, Meghan? Are you laughing at me? Are you making fun of me? Because that's the sort of thing I let no one get away with.

She shakes her head and mouths the word "no" as he nearly rips out her hairs by the roots.

ANGELUS: Good. Let me find something appropriate. Where are my tunes? Here we go!

Put in another disc. Presses play. It's Frank Sinatra seeing Cole Porter's "I've Got You Under My Skin."

ANGELUS: That's much better. Now let's get to work.

STEREO: "I've got you under my skin. I've got you deep in the heart of me. So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me."

He pushes over a metal tray on wheels. When it's right in front of Meghan, he pulls off the cloth on top of the tray. This reveals more than a dozen metal instruments. Meghan shudders. Angelus kicks the tray over.

ANGELUS: Relax. I won't use those. They're for amateurs.

He picks up a scalpel in his left hand and slowly brushes the flat end down her right cheek. She trembles. He tosses the scalpel across the room. It gets stuck in the wall.

ANGELUS: The worst part of torture isn't the pain. It's the anticipation of the pain. Imagining what is to come.

Angelus rips off her shirt. He puts his left hand on her neck and his right hand on her stomach. He smirks and runs his right hand along her stomach, up her rib cage, down her back. He puts his face within two inches of hers, so she can see his joy. He runs his left hand through her hair, then smells her neck. She's shaking. He backs up two steps.

ANGELUS: See what I mean? You're a quivering mess. If I had time, I could make you go mad before I even violated you for the first time. But tonight I'm on a tight schedule.

The song ends. Sinatra begins singing Porter's "I Get A Kick Out of You":

STEREO: "My story is much too sad to be told, but practically everything leaves me totally cold. The only exception I know is the case, when I'm out on a quiet spree, fighting vainly the old ennui, and I suddenly turn and see – your fabulous face."

ANGELUS: Nothing more romantic than Old Blue Eyes.

Angelus leaves the room. He tosses in the naked bodies of Meghan's two friends. She screams even louder than before. When she's done, Angelus goes back in.

ANGELUS: I believe you know these two. The only question is, do I rape you before or after I kill you?

Connor gets the strength to run over to Buffy's and alert them about this powerful new vampire. He dashes across Main Street and continues down an alley, where he bumps into Vi, knocking her down.

CONNOR: Sorry.

Connor reaches down and helps her up. Vi gets right up close to Connor and smiles.

VI: Are you out hunting? Can I go with you? You took Amanda hunting. Why don't you take me hunting?

CONNOR: Maybe later.

VI: Something bit you!

Connor gets embarrassed and self-conscious. He puts his left hand over the wound. Vi pulls it away.

VI: Let me see. Is it bad? Are you okay?

She leans down and kisses the wound. She doesn't bite Connor, but she does suck up a small amount of his blood. Connor pushes her away and hits Vi's face with a right jab. She goes bumpy and hits Connor with a right hook. He blocks a left jab and hits her with a left cross and a right hook, knocking Vi back a few steps.

DRUSILLA: Voi, place nice with Connor.

Connor looks to his left and sees Dru standing alongside Heather and Erica. Vi runs over to her.

DRUSILLA: After awl, he is blood.

Connor sees Dru with these three vampires and knows he's hopelessly overmatched. He runs away.

At Buffy's house.

KENNEDY: Have you seen Vi around?

GILES: Isn't she downstairs?

KENNEDY: Nope. I checked.

GILES: She wouldn't sneak out. Would she?

KENNEDY: And I don't see Erica and Heather around.

BUFFY: Is there a problem?

GILES: A few of the Potentials might have snuck out.

BUFFY: I thought they knew better than that.

KENNEDY: Vi should. She's been here for months.

BUFFY: We have to go looking for them.

Connor barrels in through the kitchen door. Buffy turns around and sees him. There's a bite mark on his neck. And he's wearing leather pants.

CONNOR: Vi's a vampire! So are two of the others.

Kennedy and Giles gasp.

BUFFY: Wonder how they got that way.

Buffy hits Connor's face with a left cross and a right jab, knocking him back into the cabinets. Xander, Willow, Dawn and Anya hear the commotion and rush from the dining room into the kitchen. Buffy's about to punch Connor again with her right fist, but Xander grabs her arm and holds Buffy back. Dawn throws herself between Connor and Buffy.

CONNOR: You think I'm a vampire!!?

In her anger and grief, Buffy's forgotten that he wasn't invited in.

BUFFY: You were bitten. And you're walking.

DAWN: Buffy, Connor is NOT a vampire!!

Dawn puts her hand up Connor's shirt.

DAWN: He's warm. And he's got a heartbeat. Check for yourself.

Buffy does not like witnessing this gratuitous display of affection.

CONNOR: She attacked me in my house. Said she was my sister. Why would she say that?

GILES: Tall. Black hair. English?

CONNOR: Yeah. You know her?

GILES: Oh God. Oh no.

Spike comes in through the front door, ready to help out with the night's patrolling. He stops dead in his tracks in the front hallway.

SPIKE: Why was she here? Why was SHE here!?

Buffy turns around.

BUFFY: Who?

SPIKE: Drusilla!!

GILES: We already know she's in town.

SPIKE: In town? She was in this bloody house! Today!!

BUFFY: What???

Buffy runs over to Spike.

SPIKE: I can smell her. Scent's from at least a few hours ago. She was here, right where I'm standing, earlier today, during the daytime.

BUFFY: That's impossible.

Spike runs up the stairs.

SPIKE: She went up here. Into your room.

Buffy runs up after him. They enter her room and see the busted closet door. Spike stops a few feet in front of it.

SPIKE: End of the line. She must have doubled back. Went out the way she came in.

Spike runs back downstairs. Buffy follows.

BUFFY: How could she do that? In the daytime, with the sun out.

SPIKE: She has a habit. A nun's habit. Sometimes she wore it to protect herself from the sunlight. Also was a great way to catch people off-guard, earn their trust.

BUFFY: She got invited in? And nobody else noticed? There were dozens of people in this house.

XANDER: I was at work. You were at the school.

GILES: I took some of the girls shopping. We left at 10 and were back before one.

BUFFY: Willow? Anya?

WILLOW: I had a 10:30 class. But I came straight home.

ANYA: I was at the laundromat between like 11 at 2.

KENNEDY: Some of us were out in the backyard training. Some in the basement. I thought Vi had gone shopping with Giles.

Everyone is dead silent for a few seconds as the terrible news sinks in.

SPIKE: I smell blood in the basement.

Spike, Buffy and Giles run into the kitchen and go downstairs into the basement. Spike finds the bodies underneath boxes and old junk. Giles puts his right hand to his mouth. It takes a few seconds for him to speak.

GILES: Rose, Rebecca, Theresa. How could I let this happen to them?

BUFFY: So Dru killed these three and sired the other three?

SPIKE: Dru never came down here.

GILES: I had dinner with them.

Spike sees the bolts in the target and the crossbow on the floor.

SPIKE: They came down for a little practice. Vi and the others woke up in Buffy's closet. They came down, killed these three and left.

BUFFY: Through that open window.

GILES: You two track them down. I'll burn these bodies.

SPIKE: Why?

Giles looks at Spike as if he's a monumental idiot.

GILES: So they won't rise.

Spike looks inside their open mouths.

SPIKE: They won't rise. No blood on the tongue.

GILES: Excuse me?

SPIKE: Someone gets sired, they have to drink. They drink, they get blood on their tongue. It's common sense. Didn't they teach you this in Watcher 101?

GILES: Anyway, I'll take care of this, and you . . . take care of . . . Vi, Erica and Heather.

They head upstairs and into the living room for weapons. The others follow them into the room.

GILES: You can track Dru, right?

SPIKE: Of course.

GILES: Then go with Buffy and find her. Willow, I think an uninviting spell is in order. We'll stay here, keep watch.

Spike sees that Connor is bitten.

SPIKE: Connor, was it Dru?

CONNOR: Why would she call me her brother?

GILES: I'll explain.

Buffy and Spike race out into the night. Buffy is too focused on the job at hand to feel guilty about the lost Potentials. There will be plenty of time for that later.

NEXT: Buffy fights the vampire Potentials. Spike fights with Drusilla, physically and verbally. Connor learns about his family history. And Dru sees burning baby fishes swimming all around Andrew's head. Also, Angelus hopes a few more vicious kills will get him out of his malaise, while his vampires give his old friends quite a surprise.


	30. Potential Vampires

Action-packed from beginning to end. Buffy has to kill the vampire Potentials, and they put up quite a fight. Spike gives Dru his analysis of why she's responsible for their breakup, then tries to kill her. Giles is visited by Jenny Calendar. Andrew tries to figure out Connor's genealogy. And Drusilla decides she wants to fight the girl with the power, but she doesn't mean Buffy.

Spike and Buffy race across town trying to find Dru.

BUFFY: How could this happen? How did she know I would be gone and there would be people in my house who didn't know her? She must be working for the First.

SPIKE: Dru's never been a team player. And this isn't the First's style. They've never even sent Bringers after those girls during the daytime. Never tried to attack when you were away. And siring the Slayers-in-Training? The First could never come up with anything that insanely brilliant. Brilliant in an unadmirable, evil way, I mean.

BUFFY: Then how did she find out about the Potentials?

SPIKE: She senses things. And I wager the First's been quite forthcoming with the information. But it's her plan. Her fun. Poor Connor. Boy had no idea what he was going up against.

BUFFY: Least he made it out alive. And when did he start wearing leather pants?

SPIKE: I think those were mine.

BUFFY: When did YOU start wearing leather pants?

SPIKE: Picked them up when I was under the control of the First.

BUFFY: But you never wore leather pants back when you were evil.

SPIKE: I know. The First must have had me confused with some other vampire.

Connor sits on the far right side of the couch. There is a large bandage on the right side of his neck. Dawn sits to his left. They hold hands. Giles sits in the chair opposite them. Xander sits on the chair to the left of Connor. Anya sits on the far left side of the couch. Kennedy's upstairs with Willow while Willow does the de-inviting spell. The rest of the Potentials are arrayed in a semi-circle behind Giles, looking at Connor.

CONNOR: So the Master sired Darla, who sired Angelus, who sired Drusilla, who sired Spike. Then Drusilla made Darla a vampire again, right before she had me with Angel.

GILES: In a nutshell, yes.

CONNOR: My family sucks.

XANDER: Really puts my relatives in a whole new perspective.

Giles stands up and walks to the door.

GILES: Now if you will excuse me, I need to go take care of . . . [his voice trails off in despair] Willow should be finished with that protection spell any moment now.

He leaves. Connor stands up and walks into the kitchen with Dawn. He feels nervous with all the Potentials looking at him, thinking he's some sort of freak. He also believes Dru came to town for him, so he feels guilty for the deaths of the six Potentials.

CONNOR: I'll go outside, keep watch. Warn everyone if she's coming.

DAWN: I can keep you company.

CONNOR: You're safer in here.

Andrew is walking home from the video store. He returned the dvds the girls watched the previous night and bought two Doctor Who dvds for himself. He is looking down, not paying attention where he's going, and he sees two feet right in front of him. He stops, looks up and sees a tall woman. She stares into his eyes. He immediately feels nervous and drops his dvds.

DRU: I see you, a man surrounded by fools who cannot see his strength, his vision, his glory.

Andrew smiles nervously.

ANDREW: I, I, I have redemptive powers. Powerful redemptive . . . I'm on a quest –

DRU: You walk in worlds the others can't begin to imagine.

ANDREW: Are you talking about when I was a super villain? How do you know so much about me?

From several blocks away, Spike could hear her voice. He hears her give someone the same speech she gave William before siring him.

SPIKE: Found her!

Spike races to Dru, with Buffy close behind. Spike arrives to see her with Andrew.

DRU: I thought that would get your attention, William.

SPIKE: Him???

Spike goes bumpy and leaps at Dru, knocking her into the wall. She also goes bumpy and they growl at one another. Andrew is petrified. He runs away, runs back, grabs his Doctor Who dvds off the ground, then runs away again. Spike lands a left jab and a right uppercut. Dru lands a right hook. She blocks Spike's right hook, but Spike hits her with a left cross. She grabs his arms and pushes him back a few feet.

DRU: Have you met your new sisters?

Spike and Buffy turn to their left and see Heather, Vi and Erica standing there at the entrance to the alley. Dru makes a quick getaway.

BUFFY: Go!! Just go!

Spike runs off after Dru. The Potentials smile and close in on Buffy. She looks at each of them in turn. It's incredibly painful having to stake the girls she was supposed to protect.

BUFFY: Vi . . . Erica . . . Heather.

HEATHER: I'm Heather. She's Erica.

ERICA: How could you expect to keep us safe when you couldn't even keep our names straight?

Vi stands in front of Buffy. Heather moves to Buffy's left, Erica to Buffy's right. They surround her on three sides.

VI: You were right. Vampires do have the power. All they want to do is kill, feed, destroy. How many people do you think we've killed tonight? Care to guess?

The girls all go bumpy.

ERICA: Two. Just two.

HEATHER: [smiles] Dozen.

Buffy hits Vi in the face with a right kick. She hits Heather with a left jab, pushes Erica back with her right hand, then knocks Erica down with a left cross. When she turns to face Erica, Heather kicks Buffy in the back. Vi jumps up and kicks Buffy in the chin. She goes down and Heather kicks her in the side of the head. Buffy trips Heather up, then vaults to her feet. She blocks Vi's right cross and knocks her back with a right uppercut. Erica grabs Buffy from behind and drives her into the other wall.

Spike catches up with Dru on a grassy hill next to a grave yard.

DRU: Don't worry, William. Just toying with that boy. Didn't see any burning baby fishes swimming round his head.

SPIKE: Shouldn't you be in LA with Angelus?

DRU: [pouts] Oive been replaced.

SPIKE: Cordelia? Bollocks. Angie could never replace you.

DRU: You did.

SPIKE: And wasn't that your fault, pet?

DRU: You can't blame a girl, Spoike.

SPIKE: I should have let you die, doves. I should have let you waste away.

DRU: Oooooh. I love it when you get all cross.

Spike hits her with a right hook.

SPIKE: I risked everything to give you back your strength. And how did you repay me for my sacrifice? [hits her with a left hook] By bloody leaving me! Not a smidgen of gratitude. I am the only reason you are walking this earth. You owe me, pet. [pulls out a stake] And it's about bloody time I collect.

Erica slams Buffy's forehead into the wall. She grabs her left arm. Vi grabs her right arm. Heather looks down at Buffy from six feet away.

VI: Dru told us you're alive because your enemies were always divided. Well, we're together. Like the Three, but prettier and smarter and without Angel to save you.

Heather leaps over Buffy's head and lands behind her, foiling Buffy's two escape moves. There's no vampire to kick in front of her, and if she does a backflip Heather's still breathing down her neck (figuratively). Just in case, Heather grabs Buffy's waist from behind to prevent her from trying a back flip. She leans her head down and prepares to bite Buffy.

HEATHER: Maybe he'll will drop by for a drink.

ERICA: Better hurry before you're all gone.

Vi and Erica laugh at Buffy's predicament. She tries to hit Heather with the back of her head, but Heather keeps her face the the left of Buffy's head to prevent just this sort of trick. Buffy's run out of tricks. She'll have to learn some new ones quick.

Dru giggles at Spike's threat.

DRU: Killing the one who made you. Isn't that the sort of thing Angel would do?

Spike puts the stake under his right sleeve and hits her in the nose with a right jab.

SPIKE: No, love. I won't stake my sire in the back.

Dru still thinks he's bluffing. Spike grabs the lapel of her coat with his right hand and hits her face three time with his left fist. She pushes Spike away and tries a right hook. He blocks it with his left arm and pops her in the stomach with a right uppercut. She grabs him by the collar. He grabs her and tosses Dru 20 feet backwards. She gets up right away, but Spike leaps at her and knocks her down with a right kick before she has a chance to defend herself. Spike stands over the prostrate Dru. He reaches down to grab her neck. She kicks him in the groin with her left foot. He groans and backs up. Dru returns to her feet and smirks.

DRU: Didn't know you still had those. [knocks him down with a right roundhouse] Haven't used them since you first came here.

Buffy struggles to free her arms. No use. And Heather's hold immobilized the rest of her upper body. Kicking her legs forward did no good, since there was no one in front of her to hit. Heather pierces the previously unbitten left side of her neck with her two fangs. It finally occurs to Buffy what she should do. She moves her two legs backwards, wrapping them round Heather's right ankle. Then Buffy pulls her legs forward, taking Heather's right leg along with her and causing Heather to fall down after only getting her fangs a centimeter into Buffy's flesh. Buffy quickly kicks her right foot into the left side of Vi's left knee. Vi's left knee knocks against her right knee, causing her to stumble and allowing Buffy the free her right arm. Then she punches Erica in the face with a right hook, knocking her down as well. In less than three seconds, Buffy has completely turned the tables.

The vampires get up. Heather charges at Buffy and tries a right roundhouse kick. Buffy ducks. Heather throws a right uppercut. Buffy grabs her right fist and throws Heather into the wall to Buffy's left. Vi comes at Buffy, who runs over to Heather, grabs her and tosses her into Vi, knocking both of them down. Erica kicks and punches Buffy in the face. Buffy tosses Erica onto her back. Buffy grabs Erica's right foot, spins her around 180 degrees and hurls her through the air into the wall to Buffy's right. She stakes the dazed vampire. Heather hits Buffy with a right cross. Vi lands left and right jabs. Heather knocks Buffy on her back with a left uppercut.

VI: Did you enjoy that last kill?

SPIKE: I was hoping you'd go down fighting.

DRU: You awlways did love the rough and tumble.

Spike hits Dru with a right cross. She lands a right punch of her own. Spike connects with a left jab. He ducks under Dru's left hook and kicks her in the chin, knocking her back several steps.

DRU: You know she'll never love you.

SPIKE: Why? Because you never did?

DRU: Naughty, naughty lies.

Spike takes advantage of Dru's surprise to knock her down with a left cross. He lets her get up.

SPIKE: You couldn't love. I know that now. You were like a child who plays nice with the boy who gives her the most candy. You stayed not because you loved me, but because I kept winning. A fair weather bird.

Dru blocks Spike's left jab, but he connects with a right cross.

SPIKE: I didn't drop YOU when you were off your game. 

Spike gives her a left kick to the stomach and a right roundhouse kick to the chest.

SPIKE: Could have let you die. Could have taken up with a bird who did more than lie around in bed talking to dead flowers.

They trade left hooks. She grabs him. Spike gets her off balance, pulls her head back and looks her in the eyes.

SPIKE: Someone I could take out on the hunt. A bird who could keep up with me. A girl I wouldn't have to spend all my bleeding energy protecting.

Spike tosses Dru to his left and walks over to her.

SPIKE: I had her trapped in that warehouse. No friends, no family, no one who could help her. No escape. And you ruined it! I let her live so she would let you live.

Dru hits Spike with a right hook. He head butts her, knocking Dru down again.

SPIKE: Get the point, love? You're the reason I fancy her. You're the reason I came to this nothingville. You're the reason I let her live. You're the reason I was in that bloody wheelchair.

He hits her with a left-right combination.

DRU: You were hers the moment you saw her. You never had the heart to finish the job. I knew Angelus would behave likewise. But he could live without her. He could break free. You couldn't. You can't. Because you're weak.

SPIKE: Used to be weak for you, love.

DRU: Naught weak enough, my sweet.

She knocks Spike down with a right uppercut.

HEATHER: And we're the ones who are called dead. Course, you've also died.

VI: At least we still have passion.

HEATHER: [laughs] We're undead. You're UNLIVING.

From Buffy's point of view Heather's on the left and Vi's on the right. She hits Heather with a right cross and throws a left cross at Vi, who grabs her left forearm and tosses Buffy to Vi's left. Her back hits the wall. Heather kicks her in the face. Vi lands a left hook, Heather a right jab, Vi a right uppercut, Heather a right hook. Buffy bends her knees and leans against the wall to keep from going down to the ground. Keeping her back against the wall, Buffy throws her legs outward and above her head, hitting Heather with a left kick and Vi with a right kick. Buffy arches her back and lands five feet away from the wall. She kicks Vi in the chin with a left spin kick as Vi tries to get to her feet. Then she turns to her left and focuses on Heather. She hits Heather with a left cross and a right uppercut. She blocks Heather's right hook and lands one of her own. She ducks under Heather's roundhouse kick, lands a right jab and a left roundhouse kick, then takes out her stake in her left hand and goes for the kill. Heather tries to hold it off with both hands, but Buffy puts her right hand behind the stake and drives in home. She quickly turns to face Vi, who leaps at Buffy and tackles her, knocking Buffy on her back. Vi pins her arms down, by Buffy kicks her away. They both get up.

VI: You barely got to know E and H. But me and you, we spent some time together. Seeing me join the enemy, that has to hurt. I know what you're thinking. It's not me. Just a demon who wears my face. But Spike taught you different.

Buffy hits Vi with a left hook and a right kick, knocking Vi on her back. Buffy stands over Vi and punches her four times in the face. Vi laughs.

VI: Did I hit a nerve?

She grabs Buffy's wrists and pushes her back, allowing Vi to vault to her feet. Buffy charges her. She runs up one wall, does a backflip and lands behind Buffy. Buffy turns and ducks, expecting a blow to the face. Vi sweeps her legs out from under her. She circles around Buffy while she is down.

VI: Damn! A few hours and I'm already getting good. Must be all those latent Slayer instincts finally bubbling up to the surface.

As Buffy gets to her feet, Vi runs sideways along the other wall, leaps off it and kicks Buffy in the head, knocking her to the ground next to the opposite wall.

VI: Not bad, huh?

Vi tries to kick Buffy, who rolls to her right to get out of the way and stands up. Vi's gaining in confidence. She appears right now to be the more energetic of the two fighters.

VI: I knew I should have asked Spike for pointers on killing a Slayer. Maybe the key is wearing them down. You breathe. I don't. The longer this goes on, the more the odds tilt in my favor.

Buffy attacks. Vi backs up, blocking two of Buffy's punches with her arms. Buffy manages to kick her in the ribs with her right foot, but Vi answers this by kicking Buffy in the chin with her left foot. Buffy backs up ten feet.

VI: Think maybe after this I'll go to the Bronze to pick up another guy. Do him just like the last one, in both senses of the word. But human men don't seem to satisfy me. You know what I mean. Guess I'll have to find me a nice vampire to ride until sunrise. And I do prefer blondes. Does Spike like redheads? Maybe not yet, but Dru said he never used to like blondes.

Buffy hits her with a right roundhouse kick. She blocks Vi's right kick, then kicks her in the stomach with her left foot. Buffy blocks Vi's right cross and tosses her into the wall. Vi charges her and Buffy throws Vi into the other wall. She ducks Vi's kick, blocks two of her punches and hits Vi three times. Vi connects with a left jab, but Buffy answers with left and right crosses, then left and right hooks. Vi hadn't factored in Buffy's will, which is stronger than hers. Vi grabs Buffy and tries to throw her. Buffy bends her knees, has the lower center of gravity, and bodyslams Vi. She gets up and tries to back up to give herself time to recover. Buffy runs at Vi and hits her with a flying right kick, then a left uppercut and a right hook. Buffy grabs the stake with her left hand and stakes Vi.

VI: Dying young. Ain't that just like a Slayer.

She turns to dust. Buffy runs off to find Spike and Dru.

SPIKE: How come you were too weak to knock young Connor senseless?

DRU: He has his mummy's and his daddy's strength.

SPIKE: Which is exactly why you should have been able to take the boy.

DRU: You never did respect your elders.

SPIKE: Means they never let me down. Except for you, doves.

Spike approaches Dru. She puts her arms up and slowly backpedals.

SPIKE: [smiling maliciously and singing] "Oh it's so funny to be seeing you after so long, Dru. And with the way you look I understand that you are not impressed."

She's doing a good job of protecting her face and chest, so Spike reaches his right foot out, gets it under the hem of her long skirt, pulls his foot back towards himself, and thereby trips Dru up. As she tries to get to her feet, Spike kicks her three times in the spine with his right foot. When she does stand up, Spike knocks her on her back with a left kick to the face. He picks her up by her hair and tosses Dru face-first the tall stone cemetery wall.

SPIKE: "Dru-sil-la. I know this world is killing you."

When she rises he hits her in the stomach with a left punch. Dru lands a left cross, but Spike blocks a right hook and lands three straight right crosses to her face.

SPIKE: "Dru-Sil-La."

Spike connects with left and right hooks, then a left uppercut. He grabs the stake in his right hand and thrusts it towards her chest. Dru manages to knock the stake's trajectory slightly upwards by hitting Spike's forearm with her right hand. The stake pierces Dru's chest at a 45 degree angle, going three inches into her flesh but passing just millimeters above her heart.

DRU: [smiling] Your aim's not true.

She hits Spike with a left hook to the face and a right kick to the chest. He stumbles backwards by stays on his feet. The stake mark leaves a red circular wound on her upper chest, just above her blouse.

Giles has just dropped off the bodies of Rose, Rebecca and Theresa at the morgue. As he walks to his car, he sees a familiar face.

JENNY: Does it get any easier? After all these years, does it still hurt just as much? Do you still agonize over why you can't save your women?

GILES: You're not real.

JENNY: Didn't seem to bother you the last time Dru made you see me.

GILES: Drusilla is not making me see you. The First is.

JENNY: Rupert, you should know better. The First can't do anything by itself. It's only hardware. Needs someone to program it. Sorry. I know you're the LAST person who would understand a computer analogy. Try this one on for size. Do you still have that 12-string Rickenbacker electric?

GILES: It's at my place back in England.

JENNY: Remember when I wanted you to play it, and you were too embarrassed? Then I implied it would make you seem like less of an old fuddy-duddy. So you got it out and plugged it in. You tuned it meticulously. I think you were just nervous and doing that to stall.

GILES: Yes. I remember. Get to the bloody point.

JENNY: What? No nostalgia? [sighs] The First is the guitar. The Hellmouth is the amp. It needs someone to play it.

GILES: Why her?

JENNY: Because she's here at the moment. Nothing special about her. The instrument's always lying there, just waiting for someone to start strumming the chords. And the beauty is – well, besides myself – you can't destroy the guitar or the amp. You kill one player, another one takes his place. [smiles] Kind of like Slayers.

Giles turns his back on Jenny and opens his car door.

JENNY: By the way. Nice wheels. Does this mean there a mid-life crisis after I died? I mean, after I was killed by the demon you just left prance all around this town. It's gotta eat you up inside. He's untouchable. He can ruin your life, take away the only woman you have ever loved, and you're not even allowed to hold it against him.

GILES: That's not what the real Jenny would have wanted.

JENNY: The real Jenny wanted you. The real Jenny was going to have you that very night. But Angel had other ideas.

GILES: Why is the First taking an interest in him?

JENNY: We haven't. He's too busy walking on the mines he's laid. And if we ever do take an interest in Angel, we'll talk to him ourselves. As you know, we're very good at making him do what we want him to. He loves taking orders from women. Right now, you're the one on our radar screen. Because you're lonely. We prey on the lonely. You should know that by now.

GILES: You're wasting your time.

JENNY: Don't you just want to talk some more? I know you miss me. Okay, you miss the real me. But you have to admit I'm a remarkable simulation. When was the last time you had this good of a conversation?

Giles drives away.

As Buffy runs around trying to find Spike and Dru, she sees Angelus 20 feet in front of her and stops running. He's smirking and wearing black leather pants and a black silk shirt.

ANGELUS: You didn't think I'd pass up this opportunity?

Buffy runs towards Angelus and tries to kick him in the face. He laughs, backs up and avoids the kick.

ANGELUS: Relax, lover. Dru will be by soon. Once she's done with William. This is one time you're not saving him.

Buffy throws a right hook. It goes straight through Angelus's face. She runs away from the mirage.

ANGELUS: And you STILL fall for it every time!

Drusilla walks towards Spike. He kicks her in the chest with a left roundhouse, knocking her back into the wall. She comes back out at him and lands a right jab. Spike connects with a right hook and then bashes Dru's head into the wall. When she gets up, Spike puts his left hand on her chest and pushes her back against the wall so she can't move. They stare at each other for a few tense seconds.

SPIKE: At least we had some good times.

He kisses her on the mouth, lands two left hooks and goes to stake her with his right hand. Dru reaches out and pushes Spike away when the stake has pierced the skin and broken about halfway through the sternum. At that point Buffy shows up. When Spike turns to see her arrive, Dru dashes ten yards to her left where there is more open space and where she commands the high ground. Spike leaps at Dru, tackles her and knocks her off the high ground. When she stands up, Buffy leaps at her and kicks Dru in the face.

DRU: No fun. I wont the girl with the power.

Buffy looks confused and assumes this is just Dru being detached from reality. She goes on the attack and tries a right cross. Dru grabs Buffy's right wrist with her left hand and twists the arm sideways. Buffy lands a left hook. Dru shoves the palm of her hand into Buffy's nose, knocking her back. Spike maneuvers behind Dru, so she has to face attacks from both sides. She blocks Spike's left cross, but he lands a right jab and a right kick, knocking Dru towards Buffy, who connects with a left-right combination and a kick to the stomach. Buffy goes for the kill. Dru brings her hands together as if she were clapping and takes hold of the stake. Then she pushes her hands forward, knocking Buffy's right hand into her own nose. Buffy hears someone breathing hard and running towards her.

WOOD: Buffy! Buffy!! There's something out there. Bodies everywhere. I came straight from school to help. Toss me a stake.

Buffy reaches into her pocket and tosses him her backup stake. It goes straight through his hands. Wood smiles.

WOOD: Oops. [Buffy looks horrified] Go ahead Spike. Tell Buffy what happened. Tell her it was self defense.

BUFFY: Spike didn't kill you.

WOOD: You're right. He's not man enough to do something like that. Guess who is?

SPIKE: Buffy!!!

Spike points out that Dru has used this little diversion to make a run for it. Spike runs after her, following Dru's scent. Buffy follows him.

Giles has returned after dropping the bodies off at the morgue. Andrew is at his easel drawing Connor's family tree.

ANDREW: So Drusilla is his sister through Angelus, his niece through Darla, or his grandmother through Neo-Darla. While Spike is either his uncle through Neo-Darla, his nephew through Angelus, or his grand-nephew through Darla.

Giles rolls his eyes and groans.

GILES: You can't equate vampire sirings with human parentage. It's apple and bloody cumquats.

ANYA: By your reasoning, Angel is Connor's brother, since they were both "children" of Darla.

AMANDA: The levels of in-breeding in Connor's pedigree is pretty frightening.

ANDREW: Perhaps I should differentiate between Connor's vampire DNA and his human DNA. That is if the vampire genome isn't RNA. For me, the most interesting part is that while every vampire receives vamp-DNA from one vampire, Connor received it from two, although both parents possessed variants of the Master's DNA, so there would be little variation.

ANYA: So in your model, the Master is Connor's grandfather.

XANDER: And I thought my family was screwed-up.

GILES: The Master is not his grandfather. That is utterly ridiculous.

WILLOW: Not to mention incredibly frightening. Just imagine little toddler Connor coming by to visit, sitting on grandpa's knee, the Master playing with him, giving him treats and presents. On second thought, please don't imagine that.

GILES: The whole notion of vampire DNA is ludicrous. And completely unproven.

ANDREW: Because no one ever tried. Face it, you're Council's stuck in the Dark Ages.

FADILA: You said God told Angel to kill Connor when he was a baby?

GILES: There was a prophecy that Angel would kill his son. It was a false prophecy.

FADILA: Okay. Cause, you know, miracle pregnancy, really old parents, vaguely reminds me of Ibrahim and Ismael.

ARIELLA: Abraham was told to sacrifice Isaac.

GILES: Girls, please. We've been over this before. As long as you live in this house, you're both God's chosen people. And Ariella, you know that's what the Torah says anyway.

ARIELLA: But we're the most chosen.

GILES: You're both chosen. The rest of us aren't. Try to look at it that way.

WILLOW: Then I'm also chosen.

ARIELLA: You're kinda like the Hebrews who went Canaanite and worshipped Moloch.

WILLOW: I have NEVER worshipped Moloch!

XANDER: But you did date him.

ANYA: Really!? And I thought Xander was the demon magnet.

The Potentials all look shocked, though Ariella looks the most shocked, since she can't quite conceive how this could be possible.

WILLOW: We didn't date. I met him online. We exchanged messages for a few days. I found out he was evil, end of story.

ARIELLA: These weren't erotic messages, were they?

Xander's ears perk up. He had never thought of asking Willow this.

WILLOW: Absolutely not!

ANYA: Moloch's a bigger catch that all of Xander's demons put together. From a prestige point of view.

Connor is sitting on top of the roof when he smells Dru approaching from the back of the house. He sticks his head down the chimney, yells "She's coming!" and leaps off the roof to confront her. He meets her in the yard behind Buffy's. He punches her face with a right cross. She punches him back with a right. Except she's holding a large stone in her right hand. The bludgeoning causes Connor to fall face down in the garden. She smashes the rock into the back of Connor's skull, then pushes his face into the dirt with her left foot. Drusilla continues on. When they realized where Dru was heading, Spike and Buffy raced straight home, approaching the house from the front. They enter when Dru is in Buffy's backyard.

BUFFY: Dru's coming here.

GILES: We know. And don't worry. Willow did the spell. And the other vampires?

BUFFY: Taken care of.

Dru runs to the left side of the house and leaps through the double windows in Willow's room. She snatches Kennedy and leaps back out before Willow can do anything. Willow screams. Buffy, Giles and Spike run upstairs into her room and find Willow on her knees and in tears.

BUFFY: Willow, what happened?

WILLOW: She took Kennedy!

Spike leaps out the window and goes after Dru.

GILES: How?

WILLOW: She came in and took her away. Why did I let this happen? Why couldn't I protect her?

BUFFY: It's okay Willow. We'll find her.

WILLOW: Too late.

Willow puts her left hand on Giles's chest and her right hand on Buffy's. They both grimace in pain. After a few seconds, Willow's hair has turned black, and her eyes turn dark red. Buffy and Giles fall to the ground. Willow leaps out the window and floats away.

NEXT: Drusilla versus Dark Willow. Connor learns why he shouldn't leap on top of a moving bus, Angel's old friends barely escape an ambush with their lives, and Drusilla arrives in Los Angeles, bringing Angelus out of his ennui with her stories of mayhem in Sunnydale and her plans to rebuild their family.


	31. Dark Willow Returns

Drusilla takes on Dark Willow. Fred, Gunn, Wes, Faith and Lindsey have to fight their way out of an ambush. And Drusilla comes to LA to get Angelus out of his funk.

Xander runs in to Willow's bedroom.

BUFFY: She took my power.

XANDER: Dru?

BUFFY: Willow.

XANDER: What!?

GILES: Willow lost Kennedy. Then We lost Willow.

XANDER: Oh God. Oh no. Kennedy's dead.

GILES: Taken away alive.

BUFFY: Dru said she didn't want to fight me. She wanted the girl with the power. She wanted Willow all along.

XANDER: Now that's crazy.

GILES: How did the spell not work? We did everything right.

Andrew walks in.

ANDREW: I found this blue gemstone in Buffy's room. I think it's an inhibitor.

He puts it on the floor and steps on it. The stone disappears with a bright blue flash of light.

GILES: Of course. A Talabra Crystal. Blocks the implementation of spells performed in its vicinity. She must have dropped it when she was here. But they're very rare.

BUFFY: The First could find it for her.

XANDER: We have to find Willow and Kennedy.

BUFFY: I can't chase her down. Not now.

XANDER: I'll drive. You two can walk to the car, right?

The three of the walk downstairs. Xander helps Giles.

BUFFY: How do we find her?

ANYA: Track her. She's easy to follow when she's in this state. Even I could sense her metamorphosis.

GILES: Because she took from me, I can detect her presence.

DAWN: Where's Connor? Has anyone seen Connor?

Xander, Anya, Giles and Buffy leave. They're desperately worried about Willow and Kennedy, so Connor is way down on their priority list.

A minute after being knocked out, Connor wakes up. He pulls his head out of the dirt, wipes it off his face, and races after Dru. Up ahead, Spike is already giving chase. Then he sees a woman with black hair flying over top of him. He stops.

SPIKE: Willow?? What the bloody hell is going on?

Spike wasn't in town the last time Willow was this powerful, so seeing her fly is more than a bit of a shock.

Angelus drove his old convertible to Malibu, dropped Meghan's body on her parent's doorstep, rang the bell and then watched from his car as they found their baby girl dead. He cruised through Brentwood on his way home looking for some more fun.

Duncan and Elena, both 14, raced town the sidewalk, then stopped running and caught their breath.

ELENA: That was close.

DUNCAN: Sorry bout that. Didn't think my mom would be home this early.

ELENA: Where do we go now? My dad's home, so my place isn't an option.

DUNCAN: Our parents think we're at the library. That should give us another hour to ourselves.

He kisses her. They continue walking. Standing in front of them is Angelus, twirling a white flower between his fingers.

ANGELUS: Isn't it a bit late for you two young kids to be out all alone?

DUNCAN: Beat it, weirdo.

ANGELUS: Just a friendly warning. Your girlfriend's very pretty. Mind if I play around with her?

He knocks Duncan out with a left uppercut and knocks Elena out with a right jab before they can fully realize the peril they've stumbled into. He tosses them in his car and drives off.

Dru drops Kennedy to the ground on a hill in the woods. Kennedy regains consciousness. She hits Dru with a right cross.

DRU: Noice.

Dru knocks Kennedy out with a right hook.

DRU: Bettah.

She pulls some twine out of her coat pocket and ties Kennedy between two trees. Kennedy shakes her arms, trying to break free.

DRU: Mummy, why is the dolly naught following the rules? Why is she misbehaving? What's that mum? Of course. That always works on all my little dollies.

Dru bites the right side of Kennedy's neck. She cries out in pain. After drinking a quart, Dru pulls back. Kennedy is much less energetic than before. Dru puts her left hand under Kennedy's chin and props her head up so Kennedy can look Dru in the eyes.

DRU: Moi playmate shall be by soon, and she'll wont you to be on your best behavior. Can you do that for her?

Kennedy kicks Dru in the left shin with her right foot.

DRU: Foin. You don't get to watch.

She ties a white blindfold over Kennedy's eyes.

DRU: I don't think you've learned your lesson.

Dru pulls a sponge out of her coat pocket. She lifts up Kennedy's shirt and with her right fingernail makes a four inch-long cut on the right side of Kennedy's belly. She cries out again. Dru puts the sponge into the wound and holds it there until it is saturated. Then she puts the sponge back in her pocket.

DRU: Daddy awlways loiks it when I bring him a gift. If my playmate loves you, I'll bring him peace of mind. I can feel her. [smiles] She's near. Toim for our little party.

Dru stands 15 feet in front of the bound, bitten, cut and blindfolded Kennedy. Willow walks towards her. Her clothes are black, her hair's black and there are black veins on her face. Dru is giddy and gleeful.

DRU: My terribly beauty has arrived. Never in all my years have I felt anything like this. Living, breathing pure destruction. And what have you come to destroy, my lady?

WILLOW: You.

A red ball of energy shoots out from Willow's hands. It passes straight through Drusilla's stomach and slams into Kennedy, who cries out in agony. Willow forgot that some of her spells can only hurt the living. Dru's eyes light up with excitement.

DRU: Must you awlways hurt the ones you love?

Sparks appear around Willow's fingers as she prepares an attack that will work on vampires. Dru leaps towards Willow and grabs Willow's hands in hers. She twists them back, trying to crush and break the bones in Willow's hands. Willow is too strong for Dru to do this. But Dru is too strong for Willow to simply push her away. Dru gazes into Willow's completely darkened eyes.

DRU: You have the most beautiful eyes oi've eva seen. I felt you being born. Like a thousand bluebirds singing as one in moi head. You had the power to burn it all. To roast humanity on a spit. It was going to be a glorious day. Wot stopped you?

A blast of energy from Willow's mouth throws Dru back 20 feet. Willow breaks the ropes that bind Kennedy's arms, and she falls to the ground. Dru stands between the two women. Willow hits her with a jolt of blue lightning from her fingertips. Dru shakes and shivers and smiles. Willow walks towards her.

WILLOW: Ever wonder how you'd look bald?

Willow tries to punch Dru in the stomach with her left fist. Dru grabs it with her right hand, but struggles to hold it back. This diversion taken care of, Willow grabs Dru's hair with her right hand. She is about to rip a tuft of it out when Dru puts her right hand behind Willow's head, pulls Willow's head forward and kisses her on the lips. She lets go of Willow's left fist. Willow lets go of Dru's hair. In a matter of seconds, Willow's hair turns red again, her shirt turns green and her jeans turn blue. After five seconds, Dru stops kissing Willow. She pulls her head back and smiles.

DRU: Blood is the only magic I believe in.

Xander drives, Anya sits in the front passenger seat, Buffy sits behind Xander and Giles sits behind Anya.

BUFFY: Whoa!

GILES: Did you feel something, too?

BUFFY: I got my powers back. I'm the Slayer again.

XANDER: Does that mean Willow's no longer evil and all-powerful?

ANYA: It could mean she's dead.

Dru goes bumpy and leans forward to bite the now weak and defenseless Willow in the neck. When her teeth are within an inch of Willow's skin, Spike grabs Dru's hair from behind and pulls her head away from Willow. Dru swats her right hand behind her. Spike ducks. When Dru has turned to face him, Spike connects with a right cross. Dru staggers backwards and nearly falls down. When she puts her right hand on the ground to break her fall, Dru picks up a large branch and hits the left side of Spike's head with it. When Spike goes down, she runs away. Willow stumbles over to Kennedy and removes her blindfold.

WILLOW: I'm sorry sweetie. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

Kennedy sees WIllow and smiles.

KENNEDY: You came for me. You saved me.

SPIKE: How are you?

KENNEDY: [her voice is very weak] Bitten. Cut. Alive. You were in love with that maniac?

Connor races past them. They can feel him run by.

SPIKE: Oh, bloody hell. There he goes again.

Angelus drives to a scenic point which overlooks much of the valley. When Duncan wakes up, he realizes he is gagged and tied to a tree. Behind and above him, Elena is hog-tied to a tall branch.

ANGELUS: You woke up just in time for the show.

He cuts Elena down and drags her in front of Duncan. Like him, she is gagged and absolutely terrified.

ANGELUS: Very romantic spot. Perfect place to bring a girlfriend. And tonight, we have it all to ourselves. Which means no one can hear her scream. Except for you. And me. [takes off Elena's gag]

Spike races after Connor, trying to catch Dru, but mostly trying to keep Connor from getting himself in even more trouble. Dru leaps down an embankment onto a nearby road. A bus screeches its brakes and stops less than a foot in front of her. She runs to the door, rips it open and climbs in.

DRU: Sorry. I was running a little late.

She hands the bus driver her ticket and sits down in the back. The bus heads east, then loops around on the on-ramp to I-5-North. Connor chases the bus from behind and climbs onto the top of the vehicle. Spike arrives just in time to see this.

SPIKE: Kid won't give up until he's dead.

The bus speeds down the highway. A half-mile ahead is an overpass.

SPIKE: That could come sooner rather than later.

In the middle of the bus, there's a trap door in the roof in case of a rollover. Connor walks towards the door, hoping to knock it open, enter the bus and kill Drusilla. He does not notice the overpass until right before he hits it. Connor's forehead slams into the bottom of an I-beam. He grabs onto it and tries to pull himself up. Spike winces when he sees the impact, then rushes over to help. Connor does pulls himself onto the two-lane road that crosses over the highway. He collapses on the narrow sidewalk. Spike finds him there.

SPIKE: Connor? Connor, can you hear me?

CONNOR: My head hurts.

There is a big red bruise running across his forehead. Spike is shocked that is all there is.

SPIKE: Don't move. Don't try to get up. I'll take you back.

CONNOR: No, I'm okay. A little dizzy, but okay.

Spike picks him up and carries him down the road.

CONNOR: I can walk. Let me go.

SPIKE: Your call.

Connor gets to his feet. He takes a step and feels very lightheaded. Spike props him up. They continue walking.

SPIKE: Jumping on top of moving vehicles – almost always a bad idea. Were you planning to ride it all the way to when she got off?

CONNOR: I was gonna break in and kill her.

SPIKE: Or let her kill you. Or she would throw you out the window. Or, if you were lucky, things would go your way and she would throw herself out of a window to escape. Or she could decide she doesn't want to fight and use some of the passengers as hostages.

CONNOR: Or I could stake her before she got the chance.

SPIKE: I'm not the sort who think things through. I've taken my share of stupid risks. But even at my rashest, I never thought of doing what you just did. And that's saying something scary.

CONNOR: Someone had to stop her.

SPIKE: That someone was me. No point in you dying because of my failure.

Ronan is Angelus's most trusted male vampire. Even when he's evil, it makes him feel better to have an Irish sidekick, although Ronan is far taller and bulkier than Doyle. Also, he has a tattoo on top of his bald head. In part because of Ronan, in part because it was a sign of their submission to him, and in part because he thought it made them look more intimidating, Angelus made his other eight male vampires shave their heads as well. Angelus gave the homing device to Ronan. With the 11 other vampires in tow, Ronan took the tunnels to Century City. He surfaced and entered a parking garage, where he discreetly bumped into a man walking to his car, dropping the homing device in this man's pants pocket. The man drove towards the 101, heading for home. At the hotel, the gang noticed Angelus was on the move, and they got into the car to stay on his tail. Gunn drove, with Faith riding shotgun, Wesley sitting behind Charles, Fred in the middle of the backseat and Lindsey behind Faith. Lorne was at the hotel guiding them in, just like the night before.

FAITH: You guys were sure he'd stay in.

WES: He's probably out in force, supported by his other vampires. Which means we have to be careful and wait for them to split up and feed before we make our move.

GUNN: Lorne says we're gaining. Are you sure he's on wheels?

LORNE: The occasional stopping and starting lends itself to that conclusion. He's a block ahead of you. Okay cupcake, he's stopped, you're pulling up. Now you're both stopped. Wait. I think this thing is saying you're right on top of him.

FAITH: That's a Buick in front us.

LINDSEY: Dammit.

FRED: I knew this seemed too easy.

WES: Grab your weapons.

GUNN: I'm gonna try to get us the hell outta this trap.

He backs up as far as he can, goes into drive, and is about to attempt a u-turn when six male vampires pick up the left side of the car and roll it over. One of them jabs the gas tank with a crowbar to try to make it rupture. Six other vampires stand to the right of the car. The gang inside uses their weapons to bust through the windows. Gunn, Wes and Fred crawl out to the left of the car, while Faith and Lindsey escape to the right. The gas tank catches fire and the vampires move back. As the gang stands up to face their attackers, the gas tank explodes. The force of the blast knocks them on their faces and causes the vampires to retreat. It also scares away all further vehicle traffic. While the car was being tipped, the light turned green. The man in the Buick, oblivious to what he had unwittingly started, drove away. He heard the explosion as he made a right to get on the 101. He thought it was odd, but it didn't slow his trip home. By then Lorne realized they had been had and turned off the tracking monitor. Gunn lost his earpiece while escaping from the wreck, so Lorne can't make audio contact. He gets very nervous.

Faith and Lindsey find themselves isolated against six vampires. A male vampire charges Lindsey. He points his crossbow at the vamp and retreats towards the fire, hoping this will keep the vampire at bay. It does. But it also leaves Faith fighting five vampires on her own. Alanna kicks Faith in the face. Faith responds with a right roundhouse kick. Meanwhile Tina and Vala run around to the other side. They know Faith is the hardest kill, so they merely want to keep her occupied while the others vampires swarm and kill Fred, Wes and Gunn. Besides, they're the ones Angelus most wants dead. Faith block's Alanna's right jab, then lands a right cross and a left hook. Alanna runs away. Faith gets kicked in the back by a male vampire. She falls on her face, rolls over, sweeps the vampires' legs out, then vaults to her feet. She kicks the other male vampire in the face, knocking him down as well.

On the other side, Fred, Wes and Gunn find themselves arrayed against six male vampires. Fred swings her flail over her head in a circle, keeping the vamps away from her. Gunn clobbers two vamps in the head with his baseball bat, then hits a vampire attacking him from behind with the butt of the handle. Wesley swings his ax at two nearby vampires, who back away. Another vampire grabs the weapon's handle. Wesley swings his right hand forward, hitting the vampire in the face with the flat side of the ax. A vampire manages to grab the chain of Fred's flail, which she holds in her right hand. Fred pulls out her mace in her left hand and nails the vampire in the side of his head. She swings the mace upwards at another attacker, clocking him in the chin.

The vampire facing Lindsey also flees to the other side. Lindsey goes behind the burning car to try to see how the others are doing. He runs into Ronan's right fist and is knocked back to the sidewalk. Lindsey aims his crossbow and fires. Ronan sticks out his left hand and takes the bolt in the palm. Lindsey stands up as Ronan charges him. He hit Ronan's face with the metal front of the crossbow and runs over to help Fred, Gunn and Wesley. Tina attacks Gunn. He swings for her, but she grabs the barrel of the bat with her left hand and punches Gunn in the face with a right jab. He backs up, then Tina knocks him down with a flying right kick. She looks at the half-dozen male vampires on that side who didn't even make a mark on Gunn, Wes or Fred.

TINA: Never trust two men to do one woman's job.

Vala goes after Wesley. He swings for her neck. She ducks, sweeps his legs out and knocks Wes on his back. She stomps on the ax head with her left foot, pinning it to the ground, and puts her right foot on top of Wesley's throat. After being knocked down by Tina, Gunn feels no shame in hiding from a woman. He stands behind a light pole and puts the pointy front end of his bat to his left. Tina is on the opposite side of the pole. If she moves right, she's staked. And she assumes that if she moves left she'll get hit with Gunn's right fist. So Tina decides to go up. She leaps in the air and perches herself on a short cross-piece ten feet off the ground. From this vantage point, she sees that Fred is not being threatened. Tina decides to take matters into her own hands. She leaps at Fred and tackles her, pinning Fred on her back. Gunn races to save her. But there are several vampires in his path.

It is at this point that Lindsey runs over to join this part of the fight. He rushes to Fred's aid, since she is right in front of him, while Wesley and Gunn are to his right. But Ronan catches up with Lindsey and tosses Lindsey to his left. Fred puts her hands out and tries to push Tina's face away from her neck. Tina pins Fred's arms to the ground.

TINA: Master wants you sired. Might not be time for that. Besides, I'd much rather turn that black guy.

Tina leans in to bite Fred, who head-butts her in the mouth, making Tina growl, pick up Fred's shoulders and slam the back of her head into the concrete. Alanna sees Tina on top of Fred, Vala in control of Wes and Gunn surrounded by male vampires. She decides she may be more needed on the other side. She is right. Faith lands left and right punches to the face of the vampire to her right. She decks him with a left roundhouse kick. She blocks a right kick from the vampire to her left, blocks his right cross, lands two right jabs and puts him on his back with a right kick to the chin. She pulls out her stake. But Alanna grabs Faith from behind and throws her through a storefront window. The two male vampires stand up. Alanna looks at them dismissively and shakes her head. It should be pointed out all of Angelus's male vampires were sired before he reappeared on the scene, while all the female vampires are his sires. This could also help explain why the women are so much tougher than the men. It also helps explain why the women don't get along with them.

Wesley puts his two hands around Vala's right ankle and tries to pry her right foot off his adam's apple before she chokes him to death. He isn't strong enough. Then again, Wesley never relies entirely on muscle. He takes his left hand off Val's ankle, pulls his left leg back towards his outstretched left hand, grabs the knife he had stored underneath the pant leg, and slashes Val's right calf muscle. This distracts and weakens her. Wes then grabs her right ankle with both hands and pulls her leg upwards. She does a backflip and lands on her feet. Wesley stands up, puts the knife in his belt, and picks up his ax.

Gunn kicks one vampire with his right foot and pummels another in the ribs with his bat. He takes the bat in his right hand and tries to stake a third vampire that charges at him. The vampire grabs the end of the bat with both hands. Gunn knocks him down with a left hook. A fourth vampire leaps on his back, but Charles hits him with two elbows to the face. He rushes over to save Fred. Ronan is waiting for him. He blind-sides Gunn from the left and grabs Gunn's throat with his right hand.

RONAN: Chivalry will only get you killed, Charlie.

Ronan lifts Gunn in the air. His feet dangle. Charles tries to hit Ronan's left knee with his bat. Ronan moves his right foot over to block the bat. He looks to his left and sees Lindsey approaching Tina with a stake in his right hand. He tosses Gunn 20 feet backwards and gives Lindsey a left kick in the chest just before he is going to drive the stake downwards. Tina rips off the cross around Winifred's neck. While Gunn fought his way towards Fred, Wes got up and dashed towards her as well. He swung his ax at the two vampires who tried to get in his way, and they moved back. As Ronan kicked Lindsey away from Tina, Wesley kicked Tina off of Fred. Ronan never saw him coming. He assumed Vala would take care of Wesley. Now Ronan decks Wesley with a left hook. Fred gets up and helps Wes to his feet, dragging him towards Gunn before the vampires can descend on him.

LINDSEY: We have to get over to the other side!

On the other side, Alanna went toe-to-toe with Faith. The male vampires stood behind Faith, making her nervous and waiting till she was knocked down to pounce. Faith ducked Alanna's right roundhouse kick. Faith lands a left jab and ducks a left cross. Alanna ducks Faith's right hook and Faith moves her chin back out of the way of Alanna's right uppercut.

FAITH: You ain't half-bad, honey.

Alanna tries to sweep Faith's legs, but she jumps in the air and throws a flying right kick. Alanna leaps back and avoids it.

FAITH: Why isn't Angel workin' for YOU?

Alanna charges in. Faith knocks her back with a left kick to the chest. Alanna lands a right hook and tries a left jab. Faith grabs her les forearm, spins her around and tosses her to the ground.

FAITH: That's how he always does it.

Blocks two of Alanna's punches, lands a left hook and a right kick to her face.

FAITH: At least with the women he respects.

Faith connects with two right jabs. Alanna hits Faith in the stomach with a right uppercut, then grabs Faith and pushes her on her back. The two male vampires come at her. Faith kicks her legs up, hitting each of them with one of her feet. She arches her back and vaults up to her feet right when Alanna throws a right hook for her head. Faith arches her back again, the hook sails over top of her, and she hits Alanna with a blackflip kick. Faith leaps at Alanna and knocks her down with a flying right kick. Tina and Vala worry that Alanna might be in some trouble fighting a Slayer on her own. They head over to help her, leaving the seven men to finish off the four humans who don't have any special powers. Alanna looks up and sees her sisters. She stands up and smiles. Tina and Vala walk towards Faith while Alanna stands back and rests. Faith sees Tina and Vala in front of her and two male vampires behind her.

On the other side, Fred, Wes and Gunn huddle together to keep the six vampires surrounding them at bay. The vampires are taking their time. The Slayer is busy, so there's no need to hurry and get staked or beheaded for being too impetuous. Ronan walks towards Lindsey, who is separated from the others. Ronan grabs Lindsey with his left hand and knocks him down with the back of his right hand. Lindsey retreats and loads his crossbow. He hesitates to fire because if he misses it's all over. Lindsey climbs onto the roof of a parked car as Ronan slowly approaches. He knows no one will be coming to Lindsey's aid. He leaps up at Lindsey, who leaps down to the street and tries to run towards the others. Ronan sails over top of the car and lands on the sidewalk. Lindsey turns around and fires his crossbow. Ronan catches the bolt in his right hand and snaps it in two. Lindsey reloads as he runs.

Surrounded by vampires, Faith turns to her left and leaps over top of the burning car. Ronan sees her sail through the air. He forgets about Lindsey and goes for the Slayer. She attacks the vampires surrounding Fred, Wes and Gunn, kicking two of them to the ground. The humans go on the offensive. Fred hits a vampire with her mace and Gunn hits the same vampire with his bat. Gunn kicks another vampire backwards, and Fred sticks him in the right shoulder with her flail. Wesley swings for another vampire, who grabs the handle of his ax and snaps it in two. Wesley decks him with a left cross and a right hook. The two vampires Faith knocked down come at her again. She knocks one of them down with three punches, kicks the one behind her in the stomach with a right reverse kick, then spins around and lands a left kick to his face. She turns back around and sees Ronan. He throws a right hook, which she ducks. Faith lands a right uppercut to his chin and a left cross to his face. Ronan knocks Faith backwards with a left hook.

FAITH: Nice to see at least one of the boys is almost as strong as the girls.

Faith hits his face with a leaping right kick.

FAITH: You really pull off the whole Vin Diesel look.

Faith blocks a right jab. Ronan lands a left uppercut to Faith's stomach and then pushes her to the ground.

RONAN: Who do you think that little pansy stole it from?

FAITH: I hate it when vamps name drop.

Faith throws a left roundhouse. Ronan grabs her left foot. She leaps up and kicks Ronan in the chest with her right foot, forcing him to let go. Ronan tries a right kick. Faith ducks and sweeps his left leg.

Gunn and Wes beat up one vampire, while another attacks Fred. Lindsey hits the back of its head with the front of his crossbow.

LINDSEY: We have to get to the other side to escape.

Gunn and Wes hear this. Along with Fred and Lindsey, they leap over the burning wreck. Fred and Lindsey leap in front of the fire, while Gunn and Wes go through it, the flames licking their feet. Faith leaps over the flames. The five of them face five vampires. Faith throws one of the men through a window, hits the other male vampire with two left jabs, then also tosses him through the window. She decks Vala with a flying left roundhouse kick. Lindsey and Gunn overpower Alanna while Fred and Wesley overpower Tina. Lindsey turns and fires a crossbow bolt at a vampire charging them from behind. The vampire hits the deck to avoid the missile, which strikes the vampire behind him in the chest. It misses his head by an inch, but that's close enough to cause this vampire to stop for a few seconds. The humans dash to the end of the block and turn right. A block ahead they see an entrance to the subway. They run down the stairs. A train has just pulled in. Faith leaps over the turnstiles. Wes, Gunn and Fred soon follow. The woman at the ticket kiosk screams at them for not paying. Lindsey opens his wallet, pulls out $20 bill and gives it to the woman. "Okay. That should cover it." Faith holds the door open for Fred, Wes, Gunn and, finally, Lindsey. The doors close and the train takes off.

After the 12 vampires regroup, they spread out to find the humans. Three men head south, three head east and three head west. They quickly fan out. The three woman walk west more slowly. Tina whistles. She points to the subway entrance. Vala and Alanna agree with her. The three of them leap 20 feet down to the landing, then leap 20 more feet into the station. Tina, who is in the lead, sees the subway pulling out of the station. She leaps over the turnstile and gives chase. Right when she is about to grab on to the back of the moving subway, a man bumps into her and she falls on the tracks. Her right arm misses the third rail by inches. She jumps back onto the platform. A transit cop points his gun at her. Two more approach her from the right, and one from the left. She grabs the first transit cop's gun with her left hand and punches him in the face. Vala and Alanna hiss. Tina looks to her right and sees them shaking their heads. They don't believe offing the cops is the right thing to do at this time. Vala and Alanna each grab a civilian to use as a shield. Tina also grabs one. They backtrack towards the stairs, drop the hostages and race up to the surface. Inside the subway, the gang tries to hide their weapons underneath their shirts and coats. Other passengers tend to look suspiciously at those who ride the subway with maces, flails, baseball bats, knives and crossbows. The crossbow is especially difficult to conceal.

Back at Buffy's house, after everyone has returned and Willow took Kennedy to the hospital. Connor's lying down on the couch with an icebag resting on his forehead, the back of his head lying in Dawn's lap.

WILLOW: They said she'll be coming home in the morning.

GiLES: Connor, are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital? After all, your head did hit a bridge while it was going 50 miles be hour.

SPIKE: At least 50.

CONNOR: Nothing's broken.

XANDER: How is that possible? I don't know much about physics, but –

ANYA: His head should have been sliced open like a watermelon?

CONNOR: Hey! I'm right here.

GILES: Anya has a point. And there may be internal injuries, brain damage.

BUFFY: Assuming there was something to damage.

CONNOR: What the hell was that for?

He wanted to say "I was smart enough to fool you last night" but thought better of it.

BUFFY: You leaped onto a moving bus and rode it down the highway.

CONNOR: This didn't happen the other times.

XANDER: You've done this before?

CONNOR: In LA, where the roads were below me.

Andrew sits in the middle of the room with his camcorder trained on Connor. He whispers into it.

ANDREW: Connor. The miracle child. The indestructible boy. Wrestling with his own personal demons, and the demons in his own family. Raised in the wild. Still trying to adjust to our world, to reconcile his demon heritage with his human identity, all while enduring the traumas of adolescence. A boy, becoming a man, becoming a super hero.

CONNOR: Who is he talking to? And what's he pointing at me?

ANYA: I thought you were done making films.

ANDREW: My previous project's in post-production. This is my new project. I call it "Connor: A Child of, and Slayer of, Vampyres."

ANYA: You need to work on your titles.

DAWN: He videotapes people.

ANDREW: Can I get a close-up of that gigantic bruise?

GILES: Perhaps you could turn that off for tonight. [Andrew does this] Anyway, Willow, I'm still not entirely clear about what transpired between you and Drusilla.

WILLOW: She kissed me. Used her tongue. [Spike gasps, as do Buffy, Giles and Xander.]

SPIKE: Dru's not that kind of girl. She's NEVER been that kind of girl.

XANDER: Maybe she's changed since she dumped you.

WILLOW: She only did that to get Kennedy's blood inside me. Mentioned something about blood magic.

BUFFY: And Kennedy's blood which took away your power?

WILLOW: And made me non-evil. But it also made me weak. Kennedy said Drusilla mentioned something about a present for daddy.

BUFFY: She kills you, you can't restore Angel's soul.

XANDER: But why the blood?

WILLOW: Because I love her. Love's what brought me back before. Sure, the last time I got a lot of Tara's blood on me. But she was dead. That has to be the reason Drusilla kept Kennedy alive. By the way, thanks Spike. For the timely entrance.

SPIKE: It was the least I could do. Literally. Besides, you have a habit of not getting bitten when I'm around. At least this time I wasn't the one trying to do the biting.

WILLOW: If it's okay with you guys, I'm going to the hospital to spend some time with Kennedy.

TINA: What do we do now?

ALANNA: The boys will stake out their apartments. We check hotels for Lindsey and the Slayer.

VALA: Cecil said the guy's loaded, so I'm thinking we start with the 5-star joints.

Back at the hotel, Lorne is smoking cigarettes, anxiously awaiting news from his friends. When they enter, he is ecstatic.

LORNE: Your back! I was worried sick.

He guys Fred with his left arm and Gunn with his right.

GUNN: Since when did we hug?

LORNE: Well excuse me for being glad you aren't dead.

FRED: Are you smoking?

LORNE: Only when I'm nervous. Why didn't anyone call?

WES: We had to escape via the subway.

LORNE: I take it our ex-champion found the bug?

FAITH: He set us up. Didn't get much in way of payback.

LINDSEY: Even when he throws everything he's got at us, we still walk away.

FRED: Run, actually. This is the first time in a while I really missed Connor. We coulda used him out there tonight.

Connor throws a few more logs on the fire back at his place.

DAWN: I think it's already plenty warm in here.

CONNOR: That's not the point. Makes me feel safe. Always has.

DAWN: The swelling's gone down a lot.

CONNOR: It feels better. [they sit down on the floor near the roaring fire.] So you really had a crush on Xander? [laughs]

DAWN: It started when I was like 12 or 13, which means those monks programmed it into me. But I still liked him after I was real. He's funny. And nice. Plus, it's not like I was the only one. Except for Buffy, every girl's liked him. Willow. Anya. Even Cordy.

CONNOR: I still can't believe she was his girlfriend. Nothing in this town makes sense.

DAWN: What about you and me?

CONNOR: We're special. But Spike? You had a thing for HIM?

DAWN: You're being a little judgmental, considering, well, let's not forget about you and your glowing first love. How weird do you think I find that?

CONNOR: Spike didn't even have a soul.

DAWN: But he couldn't hurt people. And he was nice to me. He protected me. Sure, sometimes it was hard to figure out if he really cared about me, or if he was just trying to score points with Buffy. But he kept doing it even when she was gone. Maybe cause he had no one else to hang out with. But neither did I.

CONNOR: So you liked him when he was soulless, but don't like him now that he has a soul? I don't quite get that.

DAWN: I trusted him when he didn't have a soul. But he let me down. He hurt Buffy.

CONNOR: So he can't use the soulless thing as an excuse with you. Did you ever want to make him pay?

DAWN: Told him if he hurt Buffy again I'd set him on fire in his sleep.

Connor smiles. He can't believe he never thought of it before, vis-a-vis Angel. Not that he'd do it. But the threat would scare Angel, since you're defenseless in your sleep. So it would be a good way to intimidate the man who intimidates him.

CONNOR: That's a good one. I like it.

DAWN: Nice to finally see you smile. You've been pretty down tonight. Guess I can't blame you.

CONNOR: I've felt pain lots of times, but never like getting bit. It's like she got inside me. Makes my skin scrawl. I feel, almost, you know, violated.

DAWN: You were alive when she left. You won.

CONNOR: Doesn't feel like winning to me.

Dawn takes off the bandage.

DAWN: The wound's closed. All that's left are two little red dots. Probably be gone by morning.

Dawn touches the area of the wound. Then she kisses it. Connor smiles.

DAWN: Won't even leave a mark. And your head's looking a lot less bumpy. Bruise is now all blue and purple, but it's way smaller than before. These things go away. What you are, who you are, why you're amazing, those things don't change.

She lightly kisses the bruise on his forehead. Connor really likes this. Dawn has a way of making things feel all better. She kisses Connor on the lips and falls on top of him.

GILES: I should have noticed their absence. Then I would have found them before they rose, and Rebecca, Theresa and Rose would still be alive.

BUFFY: I'm the one who is supposed to protect the Potentials.

SPIKE: You two did what you do every day. So did everyone else. Everyone but me. If I had been here, if I hadn't moved out, all of them would be alive.

BUFFY: We can't blame you for not being here to prevent a daytime vampire attack inside my house. No one even considered that possibility.

SPIKE: Well, I'll be here from now on.

Spike goes down to the basement.

Angelus couldn't break out of his languor. Raping a virgin and making her boyfriend watch before killing them both used to always perk up Angelus's spirits. But not this time. He came home and stayed in his room to sulk. Horror of horrors, he was almost brooding. Three male vampires are staking out Fred's, Gunn's and Wesley's apartments. The other six male vampires and the three female vampires sit around in the lobby. For the first time ever, Angelus had refused the services of these women. They were worried about his state of mind. Drusilla walks through the front door. She looks around, smiles and heads towards the elevators. The vampires don't know what to make of this unexpected visitor. Ronan blocks her path.

RONAN: He won't see anyone.

DRU: He will see me.

RONAN: I can't let you pass.

DRU: Try and stop me.

Ronan throws a right jab. Dru grabs his fist with her left hand. She grabs Ronan's shirt with her right hand and throws him across the lobby. Another male vampire tries to hit her in the back of the head with a crowbar. Dru reaches back with her right hand and grabs the crowbar. She turns around and sends this vampire flying with a left uppercut. A third male vampire attacks, and she kicks him with her right foot, knocking him into the circular couch. The other three male vampires backs away from the strange, powerful woman. The three women whisper excitedly among themselves. Angelus had told them about Drusilla. They were positive this was her. They walk up to Dru and curtsy. Dru loves this.

ALANNA: Hello, my lady. The door to our Master's room is lock. We will bring you the key.

TINA: It's an honor, my lady.

VALA: Truly a privilege, my lady.

They know she's English and from the 19th century, so they are trying to cobble together some semblance of etiquette. They go into the office, find the key and hand it to Dru. She goes upstairs and unlocks the door.

ANGELUS: Go away! I told you no visitors!

Dru opens the door. Angelus is lying on his bed. His jaw drops.

ANGELUS: It's you. It's really you.

NEXT: Drusilla delights Angelus with tales of her exploits in Sunnydale. Cordelia and Drusilla snap at one another. Gwen returns to fight alongside Faith. And Lorne comes to Sunnydale to watch Lindsey perform at the Bronze.


	32. Jealousy

Dru disses Cordy. Cordy disses the First Evil. Gwen tells Angelus about Spike. And Connor talks with Xander about Cordelia and Anya.

DRU: Your baby's come back to make it awl bettah.

She takes out the sponge and hangs up her coat. Angelus stands up. Dru puts her right hand on his chest and gently nudges him back onto the bed.

DRU: Rest up. You'll need your strength. [they both smirk. She turns on the faucet and puts a few drops of water into the sponge to compensate for evaporated plasma.] This should perk you right up.

Angelus opens his mouth. She wrings out the sponge over top of it. He drinks eagerly.

DRU: Fresh Slayer blood.

ANGELUS: No! You mean - ?

DRU: Potential Slayer blood. From one of the would-be's. Just as powerful as the real thing. Believe me. I tasted plenty today. In Sunnydale.

ANGELUS: I like where is going. But what's a Potential Slayer?

DRU: Just wot it says, silly. One of the could-be chosen ones. The librarian sailed the seven seas and pulled them all into his net so I could have a feast. He awlways did fancy me. [giggles]

ANGELUS: Didn't know it worked like that. Why would he take them to Sunnydale?

DRU: Blind men with black hearts try to kill them. Only Buffy can protect the girls. I sired three in her own house.

ANGELUS: You're kidding.

DRU: When have I eva fibbed to you? Everyone invites you in when you're a sister.

ANGELUS: That old trick. Did you say sired?

DRU: Wonderful girls. Killed three more would-be's themselves. Drank one score more people before their protector had to foit them.

Angelus's eyes roll into the back of his head. Imagining Buffy's pain really gets his motor running. He realizes how much he's missed having another brilliant killer to work with. Angelus pulls Dru on top of him. She purrs and straddles him.

DRU: It gets bettah.

ANGELUS: Do go on.

She begins unbuttoning his shirt.

DRU: I tasted sweeter blood. Your son's.

ANGELUS: You killed him?

DRU: My own brother? Neva. My dream is to make him one of us. But he is such a stubborn boy. Barely got my whistle wet. [grins]

ANGELUS: How wet?

Dru leans forward over top of Angelus, reaches for the night stand and puts two of his glasses of blood next to one another.

ANGELUS: Not bad.

DRU: He knows big sis is too strong for him. Against you and me, it will only be a matter of toim.

Angelus puts his head back, looks up at the ceiling and smiles. He now knows why he's been off his game – no inspiration.

DRU: Boi the way, I also killed the son of a Slayer. Nikki Wood's boy Robin.

ANGELUS: Buffy's boss! Beautiful. Oh. I've missed you, Dru.

DRU: Oi've missed you longer. I wusn't made to walk this world alone.

Angelus grabs her and rolls on top. Dru gets excited. He sees the wound on her chest.

ANGELUS: Did Buffy do this?

DRU: Spoike was a very naughty boy. Blames me for his own failures. It hurts me to see him so lost and confused.

Angelus worries she's fixating on making Spike bad again.

DRU: William is dead to me now.

Angelus smiles and puts his right hand up her skirt. Dru gets even happier. She purrs. Angelus growls at her. She moans.

DRU: It's toim we made ourselves a new family.

Dawn wakes up. Along with Connor, she's wrapped in a blanket on the floor in front of the fire, which is now out. She takes her head off the pillow they were sharing, rolls on top of Connor, and kisses him on the lips. He opens his eyes, puts his arms around her and smiles.

CONNOR: What happened to the bed?

DAWN: I think the fire drew us back out here.

CONNOR: I do remember how good you looked in the glowing light. I love it when you glow.

DAWN: Very funny.

CONNOR: I don't mean the Key thing. I mean the you're beautiful thing. I mean you look glowing, radiant, luminous.

Connor kisses her and pulls her close.

DAWN: Connor, I have to go. You know I hate to, but –

CONNOR: Right. School. Home. The usual.

Dawn gets up and gets dressed.

DAWN: It is almost becoming routine. Not what we do. That's so incredibly not routine. But the leaving part.

CONNOR: And the me stopping by part.

DAWN: Maybe today Buffy won't burst a blood vessel.

CONNOR: Maybe she'll finally be happy that you're happy. Not that I don't understand where she's coming from.

DAWN: I'm sure that in time she'll see what you mean to me.

It's early in the morning at the Hyperion. The vampires are all asleep, except for Angelus and Drusilla. They didn't sleep a wink. Angelus decides it's time for Dru to meet Cordelia. They take the tunnels to her building and the elevator up to her penthouse apartment. Cordy sees Angelus on the hallway camera, though Dru conceals herself out of view. An Eloi steward opens the door and Angelus and Dru enter. Dru is wearing a red silk gown. Angelus has on black slacks, a red silk button-down shirt and a black velvet jacket. He looks very happy. Cordelia reclines on her bed. When she sees Drusilla she does not appear amused.

ANGELUS: Why the long face, Cordy?

CORDY: So you brought in your loony English whore to do your dirty work?

Cordy and Dru glare at each other.

ANGELUS: I thought you were a team player. Dru helps me. Anything that helps me helps you.

Cordelia gets out of bed and walks over to Dru and Angelus. She is wearing a white gown.

CORDY: What's she going to help me with? Bad fashion statements? First of all, the goth look for a vampire is SO completely redundant. It's a joke. She's a joke. And second, I have to trust the people who work for me. I don't trust ANYTHING that's skanky enough to sleep with Spike. [she's trying to compare Dru to Buffy]

DRU: She reminds me so much of Spike's old girl. The blonde. Harm.

CORDY: Harmony!! Compare me to her again and I'll be sweeping you off my polished marble floor.

ANGELUS: Spike dated Harmony? Poor bastard. Yet another reason to pity him.

Cordelia walks right up to Drusilla and the two women stare each other down. Angelus loves it.

ANGELUS: Settle down, ladies. No need to fight over me.

He grabs Dru around the waist from behind and slowly pulls her back. Dru keeps staring at Cordy, trying to make her jealous, which of course is Angelus's intention.

CORDY: I don't need to fight over what I own.

She holds up Angelus's soul. Dru turns her head way and cries out in pain. Cordy smiles and puts it away. Angelus walks over to Cordy.

ANGELUS: Why didn't you tell me about the Potentials?

CORDY: I wanted you to focus on killing the ACTUAL Slayers. How did you find out about the Potentials?

ANGELUS: Dru killed a bunch. In Buffy's home. If I knew, I could have killed them all. Already had an invite. The Potentials, her friends, Giles, Dawny. Every last one. Then Buffy wouldn't even be able to go on living.

CORDY: You could have killed her stupid friends even if you didn't know about the Potentials. And how did Dru know? Are you slumming for the First? Did you work for those hacks? If I'm Saks Fifth Avenue, the First is K-Mart. They're the K-Mart of evil! No one with any self-respect would associate themselves with those losers.

ANGELUS: Are you jealous of the First Evil?

CORDY: Jealous?? Ha!! They're pathetic. All they want to do is kill a couple defenseless girls, and they can't even do that with like a thousand minions. How fast do you think my Beast could have finished that job? First isn't best. It's usually worst. All the later evils learned from their mistakes. They're the marching band and I'm head cheerleader. So I don't associate with people who hang around with those dweebs.

Drusilla growls at Cordy, who isn't intimidated in the least. The two women continue to jockey for the position of alpha female.

ANGELUS: The question I have to ask myself is "What have you done for me lately?" Or better yet, what will you do for me tonight?

CORDY: Would you like to know where Lindsey and Faith are staying?

ANGELUS: Don't need you to tell me that. Don't need you for anything anymore.

CORDY: Listen up, mister. You turn your back on me and walk out that door, and I'll –

ANGELUS: Give me my soul back? No you won't. Because then you'll have no one.

CORDY: You're going to regret calling my bluff. Don't throw away all our work for a roll in the hay with Spike's used-up old ho.

Angelus reaches his right arm out and holds back Dru.

ANGELUS: Not now, baby.

Dru pouts and whimpers.

ANGELUS: Cordy, we both know how it's always been. Without me, you're nothing.

Angelus and Dru leave and get in the elevator. It stops on the ninth floor. A young mother and her six year-old son get in. The door closes. Angelus and Dru look at each other and grin.

Connor walks into Buffy's kitchen.

CONNOR: Morning.

GILES: Good morning.

Giles looks at Connor and is startled. Andrew, who stands near the stove, trains his camera on Connor.

GILES: Your bruise is gone. As is your bite mark.

CONNOR: Good as new.

Buffy takes a look. She is also shocked, especially over the fact the bite mark didn't even leave a scar.

ANYA: Wow! You heal faster than Buffy. Or Spike. No wonder Dawn's so chipper this morning.

Buffy scowls. Connor walks over to Dawn, who's sitting down eating breakfast.

CONNOR: Hello lover. [Buffy gets chills up her spine. Dawn just smiles.]

DAWN: Hey.

Dawn tilts her head up. Connor leans down and gives her a quick kiss on the lips. Andrew films as they gaze into each other's eyes for a couple seconds. Connor goes into the basement.

BUFFY: Dawn, we need to talk. It's great that you've made Connor less of a raging homicidal maniac.

KENNEDY: Plus he's no longer obnoxious or disrespectful. Since, he never tried to kill me, I only noticed the rudeness.

BUFFY: But don't you think you two are taking things WAY too fast?

DAWN: He's the one for me. We're meant to be together.

BUFFY: Dawn, for God's sake! You are 16.

WILLOW: Going on 17.

DAWN: You think that I'm naive.

ANYA: Are we starting another musical? One with nuns and leiter hosen and Giles singing "Climb Every Mountain?"

GILES: Never performed that one. But I do a great "You'll Never Walk Alone."

Connor walks into the basement. Spike is sitting on his bed listening to Iggy and the Stooges' "Search and Destroy:" "I am the world's forgotten boy, the one who searches and destroys." Spike couldn't sleep at all he previous night because he felt guilty about what Dru did and about his failure to kill her. Connor tosses three cds his way.

SPIKE: You're all better. You know that if you keep up this kamikaze nonsense one day you'll break and they won't be able to put you back together again.

CONNOR: The Clash care about the world, about people. The Sex Pistols don't. That what you meant about the difference a soul makes?

SPIKE: More or less. Did you like them?

CONNOR: I liked the other one better.

Spike looks at the three disks Connor tossed his way.

SPIKE: I didn't give you the Ramones. You nicked it. That seems to be your style. By the way, you can keep the pants.

CONNOR: Thanks. Dawn says she likes them.

For the first time, Spike finds something about the Dawn-Connor relationship cringe-worthy.

CONNOR: Can I also keep the red shirt I took. You had like seven of them.

Spike smiles.

SPIKE: Of course. Just be sure to wear it around Angel.

Spike knows how much this would freak Angel out.

CONNOR: Thanks.

SPIKE: You really should cut back on the petty larceny.

CONNOR: I only steal from vampires. How did you get that stuff in the first place?

SPIKE: Point taken. But you like the Ramones?

CONNOR: Yeah. They're fun. But the stuff you have isn't my thing.

SPIKE: What is?

CONNOR: Rap. The stuff Carlos has. Ruff Ryders, Wu-Tang, Timbaland, Nas.

SPIKE: Rap. You mean marketing set to fake drums?

CONNOR: So you're a hater?

SPIKE: Piffle. Music's just not what it used to be. Trust me. I was there at the start. Tracked the Slayer –

CONNOR: Robin's mom?

SPIKE: Right. First tracked her down at a block party in the Bronx. Wasn't there for the tunes, but it seemed like a good scene. Course I was nervous. Felt real out of place.

CONNOR: Because you were the only vampire?

SPIKE: Cause I was the only white guy. You're awful naive for a guy who's lived in this world almost a year.

"Search and Destroy" ends. "Gimme Danger" begins: "Gimme Danger little stranger, and I'll feel your disease. There's nothing in my dreams, just some ugly memories."

CONNOR: Any tips on fighting Angelus?

SPIKE: Considering how you fared against Dru, my advice would be not to go at him alone. But I know that's not your style. You want to kill him? Be honest.

CONNOR: He told me to. Before he changed.

SPIKE: That's just his martyr complex talking. You didn't answer my question.

CONNOR: Not anymore. Unless he killed Dawn.

SPIKE: Not gonna happen. He values his life too much to go after Buffy's family, since that would make her want to kill him. So you used to want him dead?

CONNOR: Sometimes I thought it was the only way I could break free. He was always in the way. Always making my life suck. He can't do that to me anymore. My life's my own.

SPIKE: This is what I meant when I said you were bloody typical. Son trying get out from under daddy's long shadow. Deep down, you really are like everybody else. Once you get past the comic book surface. Course if you fight like you normally do, Angelus is gonna give your surface some nasty bruises.

CONNOR: That's why I'm asking. You know him pretty well.

SPIKE: Knew him. But I doubt he's learned any new tricks. Angelus is something of a traditionalist. Sticks with what's always worked for him. He's stronger than you. Don't let him grab you. Don't trade punches. Keep your distance, use your quickness, move around a lot. He's a streaky fighter. Gets on a roll and he'll beat you into the ground. But if you stop him from gaining control, take away his momentum, he loses heart and you can win. But that's a big if, so be careful. Angelus is rational. That's his weakness. He can't anticipate his opponents doing anything irrational. That is how you beat him. Think of an insanely crazy way to hurt him. It'll strip him of his confidence. And without that, he loses the will to fight. Angelus takes the path of least resistance. He won't get himself hurt if he doesn't think it's worth it. Angelus doesn't go for Pyhrric victories.

CONNOR: So I should do something insane.

SPIKE: You have a knack for that. But something that would hurt him, not just hurt you. Don't try to play hero. Cuz he sure won't.

Connor goes upstairs and leaves with Dawn for school. Spike comes up a few minutes later.

ANDREW: I prepared your blood just the way you requested. Two parts pig, one part lamb. Fresh out of the microwave. Bon apetite. Or, whatever it is vampires say. [Spike tries it]

SPIKE: Did you add something?

ANDREW: That's nutmeg. Do you like it?

SPIKE: Not bad. Hey Ken. You feeling any better?

KENNEDY: I'm okay. Doctors said the stitches can come out in three days. You spent a century with that loony tune?

SPIKE: She had a certain sinister charm.

KENNEDY: Willow said you were in tears after Dru left you. How could stand being around her, let alone love her? What did you possibly see in her?

ANYA: Maybe she was really great in the sack. I'm just saying, you got that going for you, you overlook certain personality flaws.

SPIKE: Willow - you told her about our little conversation!? How many other people have you blabbed to?

WILLOW: No one. I didn't tell anyone else you cried on my shoulder. [Xander laughs. Spike seethes.]

SPIKE: You betrayed my confidence.

WILLOW: There's a vampire-victim confidentiality clause?

SPIKE: I didn't go around telling your friends about the time you needed to be assured that you were still biteable.

XANDER: You needed what?

WILLOW: He's, he's, just making that up to get back at me. The point wasn't to embarrass you. Kennedy was justifiably curious about the vicious monster that tortured her.

KENNEDY: The vicious, incoherent monster who used to be the love of your life.

XANDER: I hate to be saying this, but lay off Spike. He wasn't the one responsible for driving her insane. He wasn't the one who made her evil.

As much as Xander dislikes Spike, he can't pass up an opportunity to bash Angel.

Gwen walks into the command center at the hotel. She sees Lindsey, Faith, Lorne, Wes, Gunn and Fred.

GWEN: I've been out of town on business. Did I miss anything?

Everyone's quiet for a few seconds. They don't know where to begin.

WES: Drusilla is in town. She arrived late last night.

GWEN: Drusilla the vampire?

GUNN: How the hell do you know her?

GWEN: I've heard her name mentioned once or twice. She knows Angelus?

WES: He sired her.

GWEN: Really. That's interesting. So she's, uh, back in the nest.

Spike mentioned to Gwen that he had recently been dumped by Drusilla. Now she suspects there was some sort of love triangle involving Angelus. Gwen finds this especially delicious because she's also had Angelus and Spike.

FAITH: So what exactly should I be expecting?

WES: With Dru, expect the unexpected.

GWEN: So she and Angelus are gonna be looking for, I don't know, a rumble?

FRED: Angelus doesn't forgive and forget. We hurt him. He'll want revenge.

GUNN: You really think they'll seek us out? That doesn't seem to be his style.

LINDSEY: Dru has a way of making her presence known.

GWEN: I'm in. Be nice to see Faith kick someone else's butt. By the way, if you guys are feeling cooped up, need a change of scenery, you're welcome at my place.

GUNN: Ain't got no problem with that.

WES: It would be nice to get into a place that is protected from vampires.

LINDSEY: We're protected here.

WES: It's a hotel. A public accommodation.

LINDSEY: Technically, this is an apartment. I signed for a one-month lease. Put the "rent" in escrow. Pay out one-thirtieth of it to the hotel every day. It's just a legal trick, but it's enough to keep the vamps out. Still, I wouldn't mind getting out of here for a bit. You make as much as I heard you did, your pad should be pretty nice.

Later on in the morning, Connor walks over to Xander's construction site. He picks up a steel rod and twirls it in his right hand. He walks up to Xander and pokes him hard in the stomach with the rod.

XANDER: Oww! That hurt.

CONNOR: I know something that would hurt worse. Can we talk?

XANDER: [nervously] Sure. We're on lunch break. I can do that. Step into my office.

Connor puts down the steel reinforcing rod and walks into a trailer. Xander sits down behind a desk. He hasn't figured out the significance of the steel rod.

XANDER: What is it you want to talk about?

CONNOR: You were Cordy's boyfriend.

XANDER: Yes. Once upon a time. Is this because you had a thing for her?

CONNOR: I wasn't the only one.

XANDER: Is that so?

CONNOR: My father was always coming between us.

A huge smile comes across Xander's face. He never dreamed this day would come. Finally, Angel could be jealous of him.

XANDER: Angel liked Cordy. I wasn't aware of that.

CONNOR: I think he loved her. He said he loved her. [Xander's eyes bug out] He was really mad when he saw me sleeping with her.

XANDER: He watched!? That's disgusting. But it must have been gratifying, making him so jealous of you. I bet it kills him that you got to her first.

He's projecting. Xander never slept with her, but that doesn't mean he can't take pleasure in Angel's jealousy. Xander is still oblivious as to where Connor's going. If Cordy is so sought after in Connor's world, what must he think of a man like Xander who discarded her?

CONNOR: No. Cause once she knew he knew, Cordy wanted nothing to do with me. Kind of ruined everything. So you dated her. When Angel lived here?

XANDER: Yes. Did he ever say he was jealous of me, or hint that she was the one he loved all along? [Xander's pressing his luck, but he can't resist]

CONNOR: He never mentioned you. He never mentioned anything about you. Neither did Cordy. Now I know why. Something to do with the scars on her belly and her back. [Xander begins to get worry] You impaled her.

XANDER: I-I-I did no such thing. Spike had kidnapped me. It's his fault she fell.

CONNOR: He wasn't the one kissing Willow.

XANDER: Well I should hope not. How do you know all this?

CONNOR: Dawn told me some. Anya the rest. It is why she came. And then fell in love with you. Isn't there a word for things like that?

XANDER: Ironic?

CONNOR: That's a funny word. Never heard it before. [Holtz and Angel weren't big on irony]

XANDER: That in itself would be ironic considering, considering your own – is this why you came here? To defend Cordy?

CONNOR: If she was still mad at you she would have killed you months ago.

XANDER: He-heh. Cute how you said that like you were serious.

CONNOR: I am.

XANDER: Right. Because now she's an evil mass murderer. Which I can't be held responsible for, even if I am a [gulp], retroactive demon magnet.

CONNOR: I just wanna know why. Why did you betray her? You didn't even deserve someone as beautiful as Cordy. You were the luckiest guy in the world, and you blew it. Why? Did you WANT to hurt her?

Xander had never thought of Cordy is such exalted terms.

XANDER: I developed these very strong feelings for Willow, because our relationship extended back to before Cordy would even give me the time of day, so we couldn't help ourselves. It was chemical or something. Why am I defending myself to someone I don't even know, someone who wasn't even alive back then?

CONNOR: Maybe you feel guilty. You should. If you don't, you're a sick man. But it's wasn't just Willow. She's very pretty. I can understand why you wanted her. But Buffy? You had Cordy, you could have had Willow, but all that time what you really wanted was Buffy! That's what I don't get.

XANDER: You seem to have a blind spot when it comes to Buffy. Your father would understand. [Connor cringes]

CONNOR: Was it the power? Cause it can't be her looks. Or personality. Sure, she's not ugly. But compared to all the other women you know – it has to be the power. Men are always drawn to power.

XANDER: We are?

CONNOR: Bet if Cordy could glow back then you would have stayed with her.

XANDER: How bright are we talking? 500 watt? 1000?

CONNOR: Like a star that came down from the heavens. Filling you and everything around you with blinding white light. Would you have cheated on Cordy of then?

XANDER: That bright? No comment. So the glowing was why you fell for her?

CONNOR: It helped she was the prettiest woman I had ever seen. Until I met Dawn.

XANDER: You should know that if you ever hurt Dawn I will make sure you're impaled. Course you'd probably be all healed up the next day, and it wouldn't even leave a scar, but you get my point.

CONNOR: You have feelings for her.

XANDER: Oh no. No. I don't. I never have. Not like that. She's sixteen, and she's Buffy's sister. Why would you even think that?

CONNOR: You care for her.

XANDER: Oh. That's what you meant. Yes, I do. And I'm not the only one. Do you know what a Vengeance Demon is?

CONNOR: You mean those demons that can't hurt you? That's the funniest part. You never suffer. You hurt women and you get away with it. Maybe if you were punished you'd learn your lesson.

XANDER: Are you threatening me?

CONNOR: Are you scared?

Connor, who is standing up, looks down at Xander, who is sitting behind his desk.

XANDER: No comment.

CONNOR: I just wanted to tell you how lucky you are. You're easily the luckiest guy I've ever met. Beautiful women, women you don't deserve, are drawn to you. Maybe it's the Hellmouth. I don't know. Dawn told me about Anya. This really hot, really smart, really funny woman wants to spend her life with you, and you turn her down. Didn't you realize you were never going to do any better? Stop hurting pretty women just because they make the mistake of caring about you. Luck runs out.

XANDER: You came here to give me advice?

CONNOR: No. I came to stop you from hurting any more women. [laughs] Protecting damsels in distress. Something else I got from my father.

XANDER: You might know that I never exactly got along with Angel. Then again, neither have you. I guess my point is, I hate my parents. Okay, maybe that's the wrong word. I'm ashamed of them. I don't know how you feel about yours, but one thing I've learned is that parents aren't your destiny. They're cautionary tales. Something to rise above. You look at their lives, their mistakes, and say "I'm not going to be like that." Just remember that.

CONNOR: Thanks. No one's ever said that to me before. I knew there was a reason Dawn respected you.

XANDER: Was that a compliment? Cause with you it's hard to tell.

CONNOR: Glad we had this talk.

Connor leaves. Xander stands up. He's confused.

XANDER: Did we just bond? Nah.

After everyone was comfy at her place, Gwen went over to see Angelus and Drusilla. This was going to be very fun for her. She walked through the back door and stood there on top of the stairs surrounding the lobby.

GWEN: Hey baby. I'm back. I know you can hear me, and I know you want to see me.

DRU: Are you expecting someone, darling?

ANGELUS: Don't you like surprises?

DRU: Oooooh. I luv it when you improvoise.

They walk down the stairs at the opposite end of the lobby. When he gets to the landing, Angelus sees Gwen. She's smiling, with her hands behind her back, looking either innocent or mischievous, depending on your disposition.

ANGELUS: Gweny! You couldn't stay away.

GWEN: So this is the woman who left Spike. How'd that work out for you, Dru?

Angelus and Drusilla are both shocked. Especially Angelus. They walk over to her and stand on Gwen's side of the circular couch, about 15 feet from her.

ANGELUS: You've done your homework. Who brought you up to speed?

GWEN: I know more about Spike than any of your old friends. Remember when I said that you weren't the first vampire I'd slept with?

Angelus's jaw drops. He tries to maintain his trademark confidence.

ANGELUS: No wonder you swore off our kind until I came along. Talk about a disappointing first impression.

GWEN: I'm sure you haven't forgotten the part about how the first vampire I'd slept with was better than you.

Angelus laughs.

GWEN: I had no idea you two knew each other. Didn't think his name would mean anything to you. Boy was I wrong. About that. Not about the part where Spike's the better lover.

DRU: I don't trust electricity.

GWEN: Not bad, honey. So do all the girl vamps have this sixth sense thing, or are you special? I mean that in the good way. Or maybe I also mean it in the bad way.

ANGELUS: This is cute. Trying to beat me at my own game. You think I'm that gullible?

GWEN: You think I'm lying?

DRU: Electricity loies.

GWEN: How very evasive of you, seer woman. Funny how you couldn't tell your man I'M lying. Don't you find that funny, Angel?

ANGELUS: Spike doesn't come to LA. Unless there's expensive stuff to steal in Sunnydale, I don't see how you could even meet him. What little tale did you come up with? Let's see how good this practical joke is.

GWEN: He did come to LA. Fall 99. Looking for some gem on a ring. Never mentioned you, so maybe you weren't here them. I dunno. Any of this sound remotely familiar? Any holes you want to poke in my story?

Angelus is stunned into silence for a few seconds.

GWEN: Whatever it did, whatever it was worth to him, he had given up looking. Spike was a little bummed about that. He was really bummed about you, missy. Took me a good two hours to make him completely forget about you. I have a way with dead guys. Your boyfriend can tell you about my gifts. Don't worry, Angel. I can give you an itemized list of all the thing Spike does better. Maybe you could a thing or two from him. [Gwen smirks]

ANGELUS: What? I didn't do enough cuddling afterwards?

GWEN: I'm not talking about after. I'm talking about during. You think I'm the only one who feels this way? Ask Buffy. Don't know her. Never met her. But I wonder if you have the guts to find out where she comes down on this matter. Wouldn't it be hilarious if the only woman who preferred you was insane?

Gwen laughs.

ANGELUS: Here you are, shilling for Spike. Defending that sap! And to think I once assumed you were cool. You want him? He's yours. Cause nobody else wants him.

GWEN: Already had him. Already had you. That's kind of the point. Does going evil make you lose IQ points?

DRU: Off with the foolish girl's head.

Gwen reaches behind her and opens a door. The sunlight floods in, forcing Dru and Angelus to move to the side.

GWEN: Not so foolish, am I Dru? I see you're playing both the Queen of Hearts and the Mad Hatter. It's been fun. If I catch you later, try not to kill the messenger just because you don't like the message. By the way, she's prickly, but still a lot less of a bitch than Cordy. Ain't that a hoot. Toodles.

Gwen walks out into the sunlight.


	33. Friends In Low Places

Buffy and Spike have a little of the rough and tumble in the basement. Gwen talks with Spike. Angelus explains how Ronan unwittingly changed Buffy's life. And Lorne comes to Sunnydale, goes to Willy's and meets Clem.

Early in the afternoon, Buffy walks down into the basement. Spike is sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall. Liz Phair plays on his stereo:

"I woke up alarmed.

I didn't know where I was at first,

just that I woke up in your arms.

And almost immediately I felt sorry

cause I didn't think this would happen again"

SPIKE: How are you holding up?

BUFFY: Something's been bugging me all day. Why couldn't I kill Drusilla?

SPIKE: I'm the one who had the best chance to put her away.

BUFFY: I came at her, and nothing worked. Why couldn't I just beat her up and stake her? I've killed stronger vampires. Why did I let her get away?

SPIKE: She wasn't trying to fight you. That's why you couldn't win.

BUFFY: What is that supposed to be, Zen and the art of vampire slaying?

Spike stands up.

SPIKE: It's common sense. Actually, not so common, since most vampires are too bloody stupid to know it. Try to stake me.

BUFFY: You're kidding.

SPIKE: I'm answering your sodding question. Go ahead. Not like you could do it anyway, even if you were really trying.

BUFFY: Why are you baiting me into attacking you?

SPIKE: Do you want to know why you failed or not?

BUFFY: Fine.

She looks around and finds a metal ice pick.

SPIKE: Perfect. Now you don't have to hold back. Means you won't have any excuses. [holds his arms out] Go ahead.

Buffy's still confused. She makes a half-hearted attempt to stake Spike. He grabs the pick with both hands and tosses Buffy into the wall. She's upset.

SPIKE: What's the matter? Am I playing too rough for you?

BUFFY: Get to the point, Spike.

SPIKE: Have I mentioned that I detest puns? My point is that a vampire only has to defend one part of its body. Not a very hard thing to do. Just got to keep you from sneaking behind me and staking me through my back. Otherwise, you have to give me such a thrashing that I won't even be able to put my hands in front of my heart when you go for the kill. The vampires don't attack, and slaying becomes a very tough gig. See for yourself.

Buffy puts her stake away. She throws a left jab and a right cross, which Spike blocks. She lands a right kick to his stomach, but he deflects a left roundhouse kick. She throws a right uppercut to Spike's stomach. When he goes to block it, she nails him in the face with a left hook and a right jab, knocking him back into the wall. He blocks a left cross, but she lands a right cross and a left uppercut, followed by a powerful right kick to the chin. She grabs the ice pick in her right hand and goes for the kill. Spike grabs her right forearm.

SPIKE: Not even close.

He spins Buffy around and tosses her to the ground. She rolls a few times, then gets up. Spike walks over to her.

SPIKE: The mistake vampires always make is that they attack you. I start throwing punches, I open myself up. Lot tougher to kill when they only play defense. Just because she's mad doesn't mean Dru isn't smart. She knows how to survive. She knows how to make herself a hard kill. Only problem is, that also makes you a hard kill. Can't kill a Slayer playing defense. Don't quite know how she snuffed that one. My guess is some of Angelus's flunkies wore the girl down before Dru showed up. That's the easiest to get job done. Not my way. There's no honor in it.

He kicks Buffy in the face with his left foot. She gets mad and hits Spike in the head with a right roundhouse.

BUFFY: What do you know about honor?

SPIKE: It's no fun if you get help. Takes away the sense of accomplishment. You know how sometimes it's just not fun if it's nice and easy?

Hits Buffy with a right hook. She hits him back with one of her own and follows it up with a left cross. Spike wipes away the blood from under his nose and smiles.

SPIKE: See wut ah mean? Thought you could use a little practice.

Buffy shoves Spike against the wall.

BUFFY: Is that what you call this?

SPIKE: Bet I'm a lot more fun than Giles.

Buffy belts Spike in the stomach and then tosses him on his back. He gets to his feet and tries to sweep Buffy's legs. She jumps up and kicks Spike in the head. He lands a left roundhouse kick. Spike blocks two of Buffy's punches, but she pushes him back and Spike falls to the ground. When he gets up, Buffy launches a flying right kick. Spike grabs her in midair and tosses Buffy into the wall face-first. She rises to her feet, ducks a right jab and hits Spike in the chin with a right uppercut. Spike tosses Buffy on her back. She kicks him while she's down, knocking Spike on his back. He is behind Buffy. She rolls backwards, gets on top of him and grabs her stake in her right hand. When she plunges it down, Spike grabs her right wrist with his left hand. They stare at each other for a few seconds. Anya walks into the basement but stops halfway down the stairs.

ANYA: Whoa! Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt your kinky foreplay.

BUFFY: We're training!

Buffy's on top of Spike, straddling him. The stereo is playing Liz Phair's "Flower."

ANYA: Call it what you want. I'm certainly not one to judge. Is that an ice pick?

Buffy stands up, as does Spike.

SPIKE: Trust me, if this was what you thought it was, the staircase would be shattered and I'd be naked and chained to the wall. [Buffy gives him a shocked look] I'm only trying to prove your point.

Giles comes downstairs.

GILES: I heard noises. Is everything all right?

BUFFY: I was just trying to stake Spike. [Giles smiles] With a metal stake, of course. We were training.

GILES: And you were using Spike as a punching bag? Carry on, then. Anyway, I came down to tell you that I was thinking of taking the girls to the Bronze tonight. The past week has been very stressful, and I think a few hours of recreation would be good for morale.

BUFFY: If you're the one who'd rather party than patrol, then maybe we do need to blow off some steam. Just as long as we don't get any more unwelcome visitors.

Gwen gets back to her apartment.

GWEN: You guys like the place?

LORNE: It's fabulous. Your butler Nigel makes the best frozen daiquiris.

FRED: It's certainly very posh. And musty. Not what I expected from you.

LORNE: Your tastes are surprisingly old world, considering how much of a new world, 21st-century gal you are.

WES: The library almost makes me feel like I'm back at the Council. Except it lacks the lingering odor of quiet desperation. I never figured you for a heavy reader.

GWEN: I spend a lot of time alone. And it's nice to curl up with something non-conducting. Paper and leather don't really pose a problem for me. Where are the others? [a few seconds of awkward silence]

GUNN: Faith and Lindsey decided to check out your panic room.

GWEN: Really glad those walls are sound-proofed.

GUNN: Did you ever clean that place out after Manny was eviscerated?

NIGEL: It cleans itself automatically. Thank heavens. [he goes back into the kitchen]

LORNE: Lindsey better save some energy for tonight.

GWEN: You mean for the big fight?

Gwen picks up Wesley's cell phone and scans his directory.

LORNE: I mean for the big show. Lindsey's performing with his band. In Sunnydale, oddly enough.

FRED: Lindsey's a musician!?

LORNE: Wonderful singer. I'm heading over there to catch him. Been a while since I've heard his pipes. Also, I'll see what I can find out about Connor. Who knows? Maybe we'll cross paths and he WON'T try to kill me. Listen to me, waxing Pollyanna.

Elijah walks briskly down the hall. Following him is Keith, a much larger senior. Keith is tailed by five of his friends, all of whom are considerably bigger than Elijah.

KEITH: You think you can get away with this, Eli?

ELIJAH: Get away with what?

KEITH: With stealing my money!

ELIJAH: Your daddy's money. And I didn't steal it.

KEITH: You lied to me.

ELIJAH: I said the seats were 30 feet in front of the stage. And they were.

KEITH: I was in the balcony! My girl was not impressed.

ELIJAH: You sure it was the seats she was disappointed in? I told you the truth. They were 30 feet in front of the stage. They were also 120 feet to the left and 50 feet up. Not my fault you didn't ask for all three dimensions. Now if you'll excuse me. Hey Kit.

Elijah puts his right arm around her shoulders. To Kit's right are Connor and Dawn. They're looking at each other. Both of them turn to look at Keith, their faces cheek-to-cheek.

CONNOR: Is there a problem?

ELIJAH: I don't have a problem. Do you have a problem, Keith.

Keith and his friends look at Elijah, Kit, Connor and Dawn. The six of them decide to turn around and walk away.

CLARKE: We coulda taken that Connor kid. Six on one.

KEITH: I know.

CLARKE: Then why didn't we? Who else would we have to worry about?

KEITH: Those girls kinda give me the creeps. Corey told me he saw Dawny on the streets last week throwing down like her sister. Kit's just scary-looking. Probably scratch your eyes out. I think they're like in a gang a something.

CLARKE: So Eli's hiding behind his women. What a wuss.

KIT: Eli, are you ticket scalping?

ELIJAH: Not on a regular basis. Couldn't make the Incubus show at Staples last Thursday, so I fopped off my two tickets to Clarke for $100. 50% markup. Nothing like a fool and his.

CONNOR: Why would anyone pay to see an incubus?

DAWN: It's a rock group, honey. Not an actual —

CONNOR: Oh.

ELIJAH: Well, I gotta go to work. See you guys tonight.

Elijah heads off with Kit.

DAWN: So. What do you wanna do?

CONNOR: I need to tell you something. I'm going home tomorrow.

DAWN: You're leaving me?

CONNOR: I returning home.

DAWN: Which is away from me.

CONNOR: It's only for a little while. I can visit. So can you. You have the summer off. We both knew I'd have to go back.

DAWN: I know. Just, we've been together for — what? — less than three days. And now it's over.

CONNOR: Thought it was beginning.

DAWN: Guess it's the end of the beginning.

CONNOR: Right. So I thought I would spend the rest of my time in town with you.

The phone rings. Andrew picks it up.

ANDREW: Hello. Yes, he is. Who's calling? One moment. [Andrew opens the door to the basement] Spike! Phone. Someone named Gwen.

Spike is startled. He takes a few seconds to recover from the shock and then runs up, grabs the phone and sits at the kitchen table.

SPIKE: Gwendy? Is it really you?

GWEN: The one and only. Been a while.

SPIKE: It has. How did you get this number, or know where to find me?

GWEN: Been working with some friends of Angel. Plus a Slayer named Faith. Always nice to find another freak. I met back when he had a soul. Tried to steal something I was stealing. Electrocuted him. You know how that goes.

SPIKE: You jump started the old boy. He must have loved that.

GWEN: Big goofy grin. Followed by some kissing. Then my fence double-crossed me and tried to kill me. All in a night's work. He seemed interested in reforming me.

SPIKE: That's just like Angel. Needs to help all the lonely pretty girls.

GWEN: Then we bumped into each other after he went bad, and he tried to kill me.

SPIKE: That's just like Angelus. Needs to kill all the lonely pretty girls.

GWEN: How nicely symmetrical and Manichaen. You seemed harder to pin down.

SPIKE: Are you talking literally?

GWEN: Very funny. When we met, you were evil. Or, at the very least, a killer. But you were nice to me. Didn't even try to hurt me.

SPIKE: I had better things to do to you.

GWEN: You know it was about more than that. And with all the shades of gray you came in back then, I'm wondering what's changed now that you're supposed to be good. Though I know all too well that having a soul doesn't mean you can't be evil.

SPIKE: Used to be I was nice to the people I cared about and hurt the people I didn't. Now I'm nice to the people I care about, but I don't hurt the people who mean nothing to me. Plus there's all the guilt I feel for all the people I hurt and killed.

GWEN: A tortured soul. Course you were tortured even before you had one. Guess what I'm trying to say is, what's happened over the last three years? I remember you say that you had to go kill someone.

SPIKE: That someone is what happened.

GWEN: Is that someone the other Slayer? The Buffy girl, or whatever her real name is?

SPIKE: Military put a chip in my head that prevented me from hurting people.

GWEN: Something to go with the chip on your shoulder?

SPIKE: Cute one, Gwen. Always were nimble with the wisecracks.

GWEN: Why didn't you come back? Or even call me? Especially since the main reason we could never work was that you were a murderer.

SPIKE: Didn't want you to see me at my most pathetic and helpless. Thought you would just laugh in my face. That's what most people did.

GWEN: So aside from killing for food, you also killed for your self-esteem?

SPIKE: It was a big part of who I was. Then that part was gone. Buffy slowly but surely filled the void. Not that I wanted her to. Not that she wanted anything to do with me.

GWEN: And you got the soul to impress the girl. Did it work?

SPIKE: It did. Up to a point. What about you? Anything changed?

GWEN: Same old place. New carpeting. Replaced the furniture you broke.

SPIKE: You mean the furniture WE broke. Sorry about the wall. Was there structural damage?

GWEN: It wasn't load bearing. Just some new drywall. Did cost me quite a bit to replace the leather wainscotting.

SPIKE: I told you we should have used the panic room. But you thought it lacked ambiance.

GWEN: And you said it reminded you of a crypt. How exactly was that supposed to be sexy? Call me an old-fashioned girl, but death just doesn't turn me on.

SPIKE: [smiles] Dead guys, on the other hand.

GWEN: You know it's the other way around. I'm the one who turns them on.

SPIKE: Still doing the big ticket thieving?

GWEN: Pays the bills. And getting paid by one super-rich guy to steal something from another super-rich guy doesn't exactly keep me up at night.

SPIKE: Still lonely? I mean in the general sense of being cut off from humanity.

GWEN: Little less lonely since I met Angel. He's got friends. People who've seen enough to be blase about the likes of me. It's a cute little band of misfits and outcasts who have no place in society, so I pretty much fit right in. I mean, as much as I could fit into any group, which I can't.

SPIKE: Tell me about it. I'm glad you called. It's good to hear a friendly voice. With me, they're always in short supply.

GWEN: Seeing how you're in the neighborhood, you could always visit me. Just as friends. Not like last time. I know you're in love with someone else. Seems like that's the case with every decent guy I meet.

SPIKE: I was hardly decent when you met me. And even now —

GWEN: Please, Spike. Don't try that rebel crap with me. You know I see right through that when it comes to you.

SPIKE: Just like I see through your dominatrix pose?

GWEN: Something you and Angel have in common. I don't mean that in a bad way. I realize you two have some sort of immature macho rivalry, even though you're exact opposites.

SPIKE: Does he know about us?

GWEN: Yes, he does. But that's the sort of petty thing I was talking about. God. You figure after a century or two you men would grow up.

SPIKE: One of the side effects of being forever young. Take care, Gwen.

GWEN: You too, Spike. Congrats on your radical act of self-improvement. Hope it works out for you.

Spike hangs up. He looks happy after their friendly conversation. Buffy's standing in front of him.

BUFFY: Who's Gwen?

SPIKE: None of your business. She's neither evil nor a vampire, if that's what you're worried about.

BUFFY: An old girlfriend?

SPIKE: Something like that. Jealous? [Buffy scoffs at the notion]

BUFFY: Please.

SPIKE: Then why so cross?

BUFFY: It's just that, she knows my phone number, and no one's ever called for you before, and how does she know my phone number?

SPIKE: She knows Angel. She's working with his friends.

BUFFY: She's a demon fighter? And she was friendly to you when you were a soulless demon?

SPIKE: That's not unheard of. [looks at Buffy and smirks] But Gwen's not a demon fighter. She's a cat burglar. And she's electric.

BUFFY: Excuse me?

SPIKE: She emits electricity. Kills a normal person by so much as touching them with her pinky. But with vampires, she has the opposite effect. Brings us back to life. Gets our hearts pumping again. For a few seconds at a time. Quite the rush. I'm sure Angel would agree. Don't worry. We're friends now. Same with her and Angel. Course they were never anything more than that.

BUFFY: When exactly did you meet this exotic, fictitious-sounding woman? You're pulling my leg. Electric. What is she, an eel?

SPIKE: Figure a Slayer would be more open-minded about women with special powers. Remember when you took the Gem of Amara from me? Went to LA. Found out it was destroyed. Met her. We had a fun couple of days. Then I came back here. Got chipped. You know the rest. Gwen's a nice girl. She thinks I'm a nice guy.

BUFFY: You were evil!

SPIKE: Didn't stop you. [another smirk] Doesn't mean I couldn't be a nice guy. Life gets pretty boring if now and then you don't meet someone you don't want to kill. You realize how absurd it is for you to be acting possessive about something you choose not to possess.

Dusk at the Hyperion.

TRISTAN: Where's boss?

LARS: Where do you think? With that woman who kicked Ronan's ass.

RONAN: Kicked yours too.

TRISTAN: They're not in his bedroom.

LARS: Think I heard them carrying on in the torture room.

RONAN: Who are they torturing?

LARS: No one.

It takes Ronan and Tristan a few seconds to get the point.

TRISTAN: Hope he's finally back to his old self.

Angelus leaps down from the third floor and lands among his vampires. They move back.

ANGELUS: I'm even better.

All the scars and signs of the injuries he sustained two nights ago are gone. Dru walks down the stairs on the other side of the lobby.

ANGELUS: It's time for us to take back what's mine.

RONAN: You leading us against that Slayer and her cronies?

ANGELUS: They're not worth it. I want you guys to split up and spread out. Hunt and kill like we own this city. Time we show our enemies a little contempt. You girls go with Dru. Happy massacring.

Alanna, Tina and Vala are very eager to hunt with Dru. They recognize her power. And Dru wants to bond with her baby sisters. Angelus goes into his office. Ronan comes in to see him.

ANGELUS: What do you want?

RONAN: The Slayer. Let me kill her.

ANGELUS: You really are beginning to remind me of someone.

RONAN: I've killed one. You know that.

ANGELUS: Minutes after rising from the grave. Pretty rare achievement, having a Slayer for your first kill. But it was a fluke. She threw you into an obelisk on top of someone's grave. Obelisk broke in two, you pick up the top part and jammed the point into the Slayer when she charged you. Ronan, you got lucky. Sure, you did some nifty thinking on your feet, but don't let it turn you into a Slayer hunter. Those vampires end up dead — if they're lucky.

RONAN: I just want a shot. If I find her alone —

ANGELUS: She doesn't matter. Faith can't stop me. You should stop worrying about her. And don't forget there were larger forces at work when you killed your Slayer. I remember the night you killed her. Because I had been brought across the country to meet the new Slayer. If that nebbish guardian angel know when Buffy would be called, he must have known in advance when the previous Slayer was going to die.

RONAN: You think I was just a pawn.

ANGELUS: Don't sell yourself short. You were a full-blown deus ex machina. Given what I know now about the Potentials, I figure Buffy must have been one among many. The previous Slayer dies a few months later, someone else gets chosen. You changed a lot of people's lives that night.

RONAN: Like yours?

ANGELUS: Couldn't have ditched my soul without you. Plus, you robbed poor Buffy of that normal life she's been dreaming of ever since. Right now she'd be graduating college, planning her career, thinking about her future in terms of decades, not weeks. That's the one thing I like about killing a Slayer. You're really killing two girls. By killing one girl, you've ruined another girl's life. Ensured that she will enjoy an early, violent and painful death. Buffy has you to thank for all her suffering. You should be proud. Good thing you were smart enough never to try to kill her.

RONAN: Actually I did. Couple summers ago. Looking for her in a graveyard when I found her six feet under. Had fun pissing on her tombstone.

Angelus laughs.

ANGELUS: You deserved it. You played a crucial part in putting her there. But take your good timing as a sign. It's stupid to seek out Slayers. Why squander immortality? Slayers have to die. You don't.

Lorne arrives in Sunnydale about an hour before Lindsey's show. He wants to get a sense of the place. Figures that in a Hellmouth the high demon-to-people ratio would make the Bronze a place where friendly demons could mingle with people. Just like in LA, which has 100 times as many people but about the same number of demons. As he waits on line outside the door, people start giving him frightened looks. A few run away. Passers-by on the street point at him like a carnival attraction. One mother even shields her son's eyes so he wouldn't have to look at the horrible monster. The hostility forces him away. He drives around until he finds what looks like a demon bar. He enter Willy's wearing a yellow suit and a green shirt. The place is dark and smoky and dank. The demons are far too uncouth for Lorne's tastes. He nervously tiptoes towards the bar. Some very hideous demons give him ugly looks. Lorne realizes he's too demon for the people, too urbane for the demons. By his standards, both Sunnydale's people and it's demons are uncouth hicks. He walks up to a barstool, brushes off the dirt and sits down. He is about to put his elbows on the bar, but notices how grimy it is. The bartender comes over.

LORNE: Can I get a Seabreeze?

BARTENDER: Excuse me?

LORNE: It's a drink.

BARTENDER: Never heard of it.

LORNE: How bout a cosmopolitan, then? [the bartender gives him a blank stare] Right. You people aren't very cosmopolitan. Vodka martini?

BARTENDER: What does this look like to you?

LORNE: A bar.

BARTENDER: You want a beer? A shot? Something made from blood? Got in a new shipment of demon rum.

LORNE: That's not really made FROM demons, is it?

BARTENDER: You think I'd cheat my customers? They'd have my head.

LORNE: Just a club soda, then.

He gets the drink.

LORNE: Excuse me? Barkeep? The glass is greasy. [bartender's not paying attention] Never mind. This place gives dives a bad name.

Clem puts his beer down on the bar and sits to the right of Lorne. He turns to his left to greet the new arrival.

CLEM: I haven't seen you around before. I'm Clem.

He smiles and holds out his right hand. Lorne cautiously shakes it as he looks at Clem and his excess skin.

LORNE: I know a good demon plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills who can take care of your problem.

CLEM: What problem?

Lorne pauses for a few seconds.

LORNE: I'm Lorne. From Los Angeles. Nice to finally see a friendly face. I'm visiting your provincial hellhole — I mean, Hellmouth. So the demons and the people don't intermingle in this town?

CLEM: You're joking, right? Is that how they do it in the big city?

LORNE: I guess we're more progressive. Here you have separate bars. Separate and extremely unequal, I might add. It's like I'm caught in a time warp.

CLEM: Mostly the demons here don't like people. I, myself, do have human friends. Buffy. And Dawn. And Spike. Course he's a vampire.

LORNE: You know the Slayer?

CLEM: I wouldn't mention that word in here. She's sort of [whispers] the enemy.

LORNE: This is perfect! I was looking to meet them. Have you heard of a young man by the name of Connor?

There is some rumbling from the other demons in the bar.

CLEM: You mean the vampire boy. He's even less popular than Buffy. Attacks demons who've never caused any people any trouble. They call him the Killer.

LORNE: That sounds about right.

Lorne sees a jukebox and walks over to it.

LORNE: What, no Barbara Streisand? [some of the demons glare at him] Easy pilgrims. I was being sarcastic. Tough crowd.

He walks back over to Clem.

LORNE: So you've never been to the Bronze?

CLEM: I think I would, sort of, stick out.

LORNE: So what? That's their problem. I think it's time we integrated this town. This world is as much yours as it is theirs. You shouldn't have to hide because of their narrow-minded fear. Let's send the humans of this town a message. Were here. We're demons. Get used to it. You with me, Clem?

CLEM: Uhhh. Well. If Buffy and her friends are there. So I have people to hang out with.

LORNE: There you go! Welcome to the 21st century. Say, have anyone ever performed at this dive?

CLEM: What do you mean by performed?

LORNE: I think it's time to break even more new ground. Got any quarters?

CLEM: Sure. I was at the arcade playing Ms. Pac-Man. Got the high score. Highest three scores. It's dark, so people don't notice me.

LORNE: Thanks. Now it's showtime. Always love winning over a hostile crowd.

NEXT: Lindsey takes the stage. Lorne meets the gang. Faith and Gwen tangle with Dru. And Angelus teaches everyone why they should be afraid of him.


	34. Lorne Takes Sunnydale

Lorne meets the Scoobies, hears Spike sing, and takes the stage at the Bronze. In LA, Angelus gets his sweet revenge on Fred, Gunn and Wes.

After leaving school, Connor and Dawn walked over to the pine forest in the hills on the eastern border of Sunnydale.

DAWN: Did they have trees in Quor Toth?

CONNOR: Some. Not this many all together. Vicious giant birds lived in them, so it was a good thing there weren't more. Trick was to pull off the firewood when they were sleeping.

DAWN: Really makes me feel guilty for complaining about how unfair my life's been.

Connor quickly climbs halfway up the tree, then scurries down just as quickly.

CONNOR: Wanna see something cool?

DAWN: In the tree?

CONNOR: From the tree. Just hold on.

DAWN: You want me to go up there. With you?

CONNOR: Don't you trust me?

DAWN: So far.

She puts her arms around his neck and wraps her legs around his torso. He carries her on his back as he rapidly ascends to the top of the tree, which is 60 feet in the air. Dawn gasps in terror.

CONNOR: Look out. You can see the whole town from here.

He picks Dawn up and puts her on his shoulders. At first this makes her even more frightened.

CONNOR: I won't let go.

The tree is swaying a few feet from side to side.

DAWN: Guess that means we'd go down together.

CONNOR: Relax. You're safe. It won't break. Look at the view.

After a few seconds, Dawn works up the courage. It's a lot less scary to look out than it is to look down.

DAWN: Wow. You're right. I can see all the way down to the beach. And then some. There's the school. City Hall. Your place. Hey, I can see my house from here. And think I see the Potentials in the backyard doing training, or jazzercize, or whatever it is they do.

CONNOR: Aren't you glad you came up here?

DAWN: Right now I'm a little worried about how we're getting down.

CONNOR: That part's easy.

Connor leaps off the branch. Dawn screams. They fall 60 feet to the ground. Connor lands with Dawn still on his shoulders. She gets her feet on the ground and recovers her breath.

DAWN: That was new. Like bungee jumping. Without the bungee cord.

CONNOR: Wasn't that cool?

She pushes Connor into a nearby tree. He smiles.

DAWN: Can't we find exciting things to don't involve putting my life at risk?

CONNOR: I thought we had?

Dawn shoves him again and walks away.

DAWN: I meant other than that. You're lucky I love you. Else I'd probably woulda let Buffy kill you by now.

Connor walks after her and hugs Dawn from behind.

CONNOR: That's not why I'm lucky.

She turns around and smiles, taking his hands in hers and walking backwards as he walked forward towards her.

DAWN: I'm really going to miss you.

CONNOR: Don't have to miss me yet.

Lorne walks out of Willy's. The demons give him a standing ovation. A few of them yell "One more song!" and "Encore!."

LORNE: Thank you. Thank you so much. You've been a wonderful audience.

He walks down the sidewalk with Clem.

LORNE: Always leave em wanting more.

A cat walking the other way meows. Clem turns and looks at it. His mouth begins to water.

LORNE: Are you one of those cat eaters? No wonder the humans shun you.

He turns Clem around.

CLEM: It's not fair. They eat turkeys. Why can't I eat cats? Turkeys are much smarter. Not to mention cuter.

Lorne looks at Clem's very large waddle. He decides against making the comparison.

LORNE: But people don't eat them alive with their bare hands. Plenty of demons in LA eat cats. But they buy the meat. It's much more respectable.

CLEM: You're a really good singer.

LORNE: Thank you, Clement.

CLEM: Almost as good as David Hasselhoff.

Lorne shoves Clem against the wall and looks violently angry.

LORNE: I'm no fighter. And I'm certainly not a killer. But like anyone, I have my limits.

CLEM: I meant it as a compliment. Honest. You're better than Wayne Newton. Maybe I should have put it that way.

LORNE: Thank you. Wayne is a fan, fyi.

They approach the Bronze. Clem gets cold feet.

CLEM: I'm not so sure about this.

LORNE: Remember. This is your town too.

CLEM: As long as you go in with me. You're probably even funnier-looking to them than me.

LORNE: For a nice guy who means well, you're really testing my patience.

They both pay at the door and walk in.

LORNE: See. You did it. I'll go get a Seabreeze. You find your friends.

The bartender doesn't know what to make of Lorne.

LORNE: It's a costume. I'm in a production of Rocky Horror. "Let's do the time warp again!" Thank you. [pays, then sips] Not bad.

Lorne walks through the club, looking around.

LORNE: Even the human hangouts in this hellhole are a dump. How did Angel survive three years in this backwater?

CLEM: Hi guys.

BUFFY: Clem! Clem? What are you doing here?

CLEM: It's a free country.

SPIKE: I like the new defiance. Where does it come from?

CLEM: I made a new friend. He's an assimilationist. Came here with me. There he is. Hey Lorne! Over here, buddy.

Lorne walks over to the Scoobies. Xander and the Potentials looked shocked to see a green-skinned horned demon at the Bronze, not to mention one dressed like Lorne.

LORNE: Finally. I get to meet the great Buffy Summers. Truly an honor.

WILLOW: Hey Lorne. What are you doing in town?

XANDER: You know this demon?

WILLOW: He works for Angel.

LORNE: When I'm not performing.

CLEM: He just put on a great show at Willy's.

LORNE: A Lynryd Skynrd medley. It really was the best thing I could find on that jukebox.

GILES: Did you do "Free Bird?"

LORNE: That one's too corny even for me to touch. [Giles looks insulted]

CLEM: He did a great "Tuesday's Gone."

XANDER: You're a singing demon?

LORNE: A demon who sings.

ANYA: Have you ever played Vegas?

LORNE: Last year. Five months sold out.

ANYA: I saw you! You were incredible. Fabulous show.

LORNE: Thank you, sugarplum. I trust you weren't one of the women who threw their panties on stage.

ANYA: I wasn't wearing any panties.

Lorne's jaw drops and he puts his drink up to his forehead. Xander looks outraged.

XANDER: What were you doing in Las Vegas?

ANYA: Vengeance. Is there a better place for vengeance?

LORNE: You're a Vengeance Demon!?

ANYA: Was. Now I'm human. Again. Probably for good this time. [Lorne looks a little disappointed]

ANDREW: What kind of show are we talking about? Cabaret? Or a theatrical production with showgirls?

ANYA: There were lots of dancing girls. Painted green to look like demons. None of them actually were demons.

ANDREW: So why did you quit?

LORNE: I was being held hostage by an evil wizard who used by gifts to destroy people's lives.

ANDREW: Show business can be so brutal.

GILES: What gifts would these be?

LORNE: I can read people's thoughts when they sing. Sometimes I can see their destiny.

BUFFY: I could read people's thoughts once. Drove me insane.

LORNE: As a demon, I can filter out the voices, make it bearable.

ANYA: Is this why you worked the audience and had people sing?

LORNE: Yes. I would read their destinies and tell them to my captor, who would steal their futures and sell them on the open market.

ANYA: There's a market for that kind of thing!? A market where you can trade people's destinies for goods and or services? Why didn't I know about this?

LORNE: If I refused, he started executing showgirls until I went along with the program.

GILES: I'd imagine an ability to learn someone's destiny would be more of a curse than a blessing.

LORNE: The last time I tried to read someone's future, a dozen psychics ended up with their brains splattered on the walls. Not my fault, by the way. Nowadays I tend to avoid that part. Just look for thoughts.

XANDER: You're a musical demon who makes people sing so they will tell you what they're really thinking.

LORNE: I'm sensing a lot of suspicion from you.

XANDER: We had a demon who came here and made the whole town burst into song for a day. Then a few people burst into flames.

LORNE: A real-life musical? How absolutely charming! How Busby Berkeley. Except for the killing. I don't believe in going that far in the name of art. Must have been quite an experience. I'd love to see how my friends would handle that. Provided most of them were given speaking roles. But no, I don't have that kind of power. People choose to sing for me. So I can help them with their problems.

ANDREW: You're like the demon Dr. Phil!

LORNE: Except I know what I'm talking about. And I'm much better looking.

Spike decides to test Lorne out. He starts quietly singing along with the music playing over the loudspeaker:

SPIKE: "So why do you, wanna throw another chain, around my heart? You don't really love me. Anyway I'm so caught up in yesterday."

Lorne runs away.

SPIKE: Was my singing THAT bloody awful?

LORNE: A Manhattan, pronto. Make it a double. [a different bartender from the one who served him before stares at Lorne] Less gawking, more pouring.

Lorne gets his drink. He quickly downs it.

LORNE: Paging Sigmund Freud. And I thought Connor had a raging Angel-centric Oedipal Complex.

He takes his Seabreeze and walks back over to the gang.

LORNE: You must be Spike. Never sing for me EVER again.

SPIKE: [looks hurt] Am I really that bad of a singer?

LORNE: No. Your voice is very good. Better than most I hear. It's the subtext. Yours is not a head I do NOT want to get inside of.

ANYA: So he really is that twisted. What did you hear? Anything about me?

LORNE: So this is Anya. Charmed to meet you. Glad you enjoyed my show. And this handsome fella must be Rupert Giles. [looks at Xander] Who are you?

XANDER: Xander.

LORNE: Angel and Cordy never mentioned anything about a Xander.

WILLOW: So what finally brings you to the Hellmouth, Lorne? 

LORNE: I know the guy who's performing. Thought it was a good excuse to meet all the people I've heard so much about over the years. By the way, has anyone seen the demon seed – I mean Connor?

WILLOW: He's probably with Dawn.

LORNE: Ah yes, the girlfriend. Poor thing. Really feel sorry for her. And more than a little frightened.

GILES: I take it you're not fond of Connor.

LORNE: He has threatened to kill me.

SPIKE: He does that so often it's lost all meaning.

LORNE: He's unpredictable, to put it mildly. Usually surly. Occasionally maniacal. Has he tried to kill any of you?

SPIKE: Tried to stake me on a number of occasions.

BUFFY: He also tried to kill me.

LORNE: Killing humans. Boy's breaking new ground. Did he use a taser?

BUFFY: Repeatedly.

LORNE: Some things don't change.

GILES: So you've known Connor his entire life?

LORNE: Since before he was born. Changed his diapers. Sang him to sleep. [some of the people look a bit disgusted] When he was an infant. [they look relieved] Saw him return as a very angry and heavily-armed young man. Made quite the entrance through a tear in the dimensional fabric. Haven't spent much time with him since then. He doesn't like demons. Or most people, for that matter.

XANDER: Did you ever meet Holtz?

LORNE: Unfortunately. Talk about a psycho.

XANDER: You didn't think he was a good man?

LORNE: He blew up my home! With me and several humans inside. I don't know what he was like in the Old World, but by the time he made it to the 21st century Holtz was two tacos short of a combination plate if you get my drift. And his followers. Boy did they drink the Kool-Aid. With him playing daddy, no wonder Connor turned out so wacko. Course you can only blame so much on a lousy childhood, no matter how lousy it was, especially when he's got a father like Angel. He showed Connor nothing but love, and the boy hurt him. Then Angel kept loving Connor, and Connor kept hurting Angel. And the kicker is he goes around whining that Angel is the reason his life sucks.

WILLOW: Connor whines?

ANYA: Something else he has in common with Dawn.

LORNE: He had people who wanted to help him, and he didn't care. Almost like he didn't even want to be happy.

ANDREW: He's happy. At least recently.

LORNE: Who are you and why are you pointing a camera at me? The lighting in this place just awful. I'll probably end up looking like a walking asparagus.

WILLOW: He's been very chipper for the past day and a half.

ANYA: And he's nice to everyone. Even Andrew. And nobody's ever been nice to Andrew.

LORNE: We're talking about the same Connor, right?

GILES: Dawn appears to have caused Connor to mellow. It's actually quite disturbing. Like he's on some sort of opiate.

XANDER: You find it disturbing that he's NOT homicidal?

LORNE: I think he finds it disturbing that Connor is acting nice to everyone. I, for one, would agree with him. On the alternate reality scale, a nice Connor is somewhere between surreal and inconceivable. What's happened to him?

SPIKE: Dawn.

LORNE: And she did this without glowing?

Dawn and Connor are at the beach, watching the sunset. Connor stands behind Dawn, his arms around her waist.

DAWN: You've really never seen the ocean during daytime?

CONNOR: Wasn't a big fan of the ocean.

DAWN: Let me guess: there were sea monsters where you grew up.

CONNOR: Weren't any oceans. Some ponds, swamps. Monsters did live in them. Rivers were a little safer cause the water moved. But we just used them to get water. Current was too fast to step in.

They walk down the beach.

DAWN: Then you never learned to swim. I should teach you.

CONNOR: Maybe this summer. When you visit, we can go to the beach.

DAWN: Used to go to Redondo Beach when I was young. I mean, I didn't, but I think I did.

CONNOR: Ocean doesn't seem so bad when it's light out. Then again, things always seem better when you're around.

DAWN: When exactly in your lonely life did you learn to be so good with the sweet talk?

CONNOR: I dunno. Just say what I feel. Sometimes people like it.

Angelus walks into the parking lot outside the Staples' Center. He approaches a group of five vampires standing near a group of three vampires.

ANGELUS: Get out. This is my turf.

LONNY: Since when?

ANGELUS: Since I said so. Go crawl back into the gutter.

DERRICK: Or what?

ANGELUS: Or I'll kill you all.

The eight vampires laugh.

DERRICK: I recognize this fool. Ain't you Angelus?

LONNY: Heard you got ganked by your old crew.

DERRICK: We're supposed to be scared of a joker who got bum-rushed by humans?

ANGELUS: I see there are two volunteers. Anyone else want to die?

Lonny throws a right cross. Angelus grabs Lonny's right arm with his left hand and lands a right jab to Lonny's face. He spins the vampire around and snaps Lonny's neck from behind. Derrick charges and tries a left hook. Angelus ducks and kicks Derrick in the shins with his left foot. Derrick falls on his face. Angelus puts his right heel down on the back of Derrick's neck, severing his spine and dusting the vampire. He looks at the other six vampires. They run away.

ANGELUS: That's right. I'm back.

He walks towards the arena. A limo pulls up. Out step a man in his late-50s and a women in her mid-20s.

ROGER: We're not that late. Probably just missed the tip-off.

A few seconds later, the woman realizes Roger is no longer walking next to her. "Roger? Roger?" She sees Angelus standing in front of her.

ANGELUS: That's the problem with older men. They always die on you.

He grabs her and turns bumpy.

ANGELUS: Okay. Not Always.

He bites down. When he has drained the young woman, he drops her and looks at the tickets he took from Roger. Lakers-Spurs. Courtside. He tosses them in the trash.

ANGELUS: Always been more of a hockey fan.

Angelus walks away from the arena, looking for some more fun and something else sweet to eat.

Dawn and Connor are inside a diner on Main Street. They've just finished a very large chocolate milkshake.

DAWN: If you were really that hungry, you could have ordered your own.

CONNOR: I did.

DAWN: I forgot. You drank it before they brought out the burgers.

CONNOR: You said I could help you finish it.

DAWN: Except you drank more of it than I did.

CONNOR: I thought it was fun. Sharing. Looking into your eyes.

DAWN: [smiles] Okay. That part was nice.

CONNOR: Can I try a bite of your cake?

DAWN: Are you ever NOT hungry? [gets an idea] Try some of the frosting. It's really rich.

Takes a glob of the chocolate fudge frosting on her right index finger and puts it in Connor's mouth. He sucks on it for a few seconds. Dawn pulls her hand back. Connor smiles. He moves his head towards Dawn's and caresses her left cheek with his right hand.

CONNOR: Not hungry.

Dawn scans around for a waitress.

DAWN: Check. Please.

ANYA: Angel owns a hotel. A prime piece of downtown real estate. And he just lets it sit there, generating zero cash flow?

LORNE: He lives and works there.

ANYA: From the way you tell it, he hasn't had a playing client in over a year. I know he's been busy fighting evil pro bono, and then being evil pro bono. But I was able to run my business during an apocalypse. How can he support three human employees with such meager revenues?

LORNE: One of the benefits of spending every waking moment fighting for your life is that you don't have time to go out and splurge.

ANYA: So an apocalypse reduces overhead? I've found the opposite to be true. On account of the wanton property damage.

LORNE: It's a really big hotel. You can trash one wing and hardly notice.

WILLOW: Connor mentioned something about a memory spell gone wrong.

LORNE: It worked. Just took time.

WILLOW: Did you guys use the Latin or the Greek text?

LORNE: There wasn't much text. And it was in English.

WILLOW: No wonder things went crazy. Why on earth did you do it that way?

LORNE: A friend told me how to do it.

WILLOW: Your friend obviously knew jack about magic. That's borderline wicca malpractice.

GILES: I'm just curious, what was Wesley like as a 16 year-old?

LORNE: Pompous. Klutzy. Clueless.

GILES: Which is exactly what he was like as a 26 year-old.

BUFFY: What was Angel like?

LORNE: Tortured. Self-pitying.

XANDER: You mean he brooded before he even had anything to brood about?

ANYA: Obviously this disaster would not have happened if you had a proper magic shop in Los Angeles. I know! You should start one at the hotel. One-stop shopping. The detective agency and the store generate customers for each other. Plus, a hotel would be a perfect place for your little cabaret. And how bout this crazy idea? Use the hotel as an actual hotel!

LORNE: I think the people would be scared off by the demons.

ANYA: I mean a demon hotel. I know from experience that they are a very nomadic bunch. You can provide a friendly, comfortable place for them to stay when they're in town. And the hotel guests would naturally be drawn to your cabaret. It's horizontal integration at its best. This is the problem with hero types like Angel. They never care about money. He's sitting on a gold mine, and he doesn't even know it.

LORNE: Well tickle me pinkish. You're like the Martha Stewart of the demon world.

ANYA: Except I don't resort to the black arts nearly as often as she does.

LORNE: I meant it purely in a non-evil way, cupcake. [Lorne looks around] This being the Hellmouth and all, I assume there's a spell which puts the kibosh on all demon violence within this club?

BUFFY: You can do that?

WILLOW: Not with any mortal magics I'm aware of.

LORNE: I had one at my old club. Done by the Transuding Furies.

SPIKE: They're based in LA these days? Been a while since I've seen those floating birds. Tell the sisters William says hi.

Lorne grimaces and looks slightly nauseous.

LORNE: That reminds me why I never want to read you. So any demon can just walk in here at any moment and trash the place?

XANDER: It's happened.

LORNE: That's a tad terrifying. Explains why demons are so unwelcome here. I take it a demon's never performed in this club?

BUFFY: Sometimes they get on stage and announce that they're going to kill everybody. But I always kill them before that happens.

LORNE: Not the sort of performance art I had in mind. I just realized there's no opening act here tonight.

Lorne walks backstage and talks to Lindsey. He looks bemused by Lorne's proposal.

LINDSEY: You want to borrow my band?

LORNE: Just a couple songs. A warmup act.

LINDSEY: Could scare everyone and clear the place out. But the guys have already been paid. Knock yourself out. [musicians look at Lorne] Don't worry bout the look. He's a pro.

Lorne briefly discusses arrangements with the five musicians in Lindsey's band. He's glad they have a saxophone player since both of the songs Lorne wants to perform have horns. The musicians know the two selections, and they head out on stage. The crowd notices. They launch into the opening chords of Otis Redding's "Try a Little Tenderness." Lorne enters stage right with the microphone in his hand, singing:

LORNE: "Oh, she may be weary. Young girls, they do get weary . . . "

At first the crowd gasps in horror. But as Lorne keeps belting out the tune, they accept the scary-looking but good-singing green guy. They assume the costume's part of some joke they don't get and focus instead on the music.

WILLOW: And I really thought I'd seen it all.

Andrew happily videotapes the singing demon.

ANDREW: So there are bars in LA where demons and humans hang out together. Just like that scene in Star Wars. But without the fighting. That is so cool.

ANYA: I told you guys he was good.

GILES: A little on the schmaltzy side for my tastes.

SPIKE: Like Liberace. But not nearly as hideous-looking.

XANDER: I wish we had demons as cool as this guy in Sunnydale. [Xander sees Clem looking forlorn] Sorry, Clem. I didn't mean it like that. You're a very good friendly demon.

ANYA: He's right. It's not your fault Angel has a BETTER demon friend than Buffy does. We're not going to make you two compete for our affection. Plus, when he leaves, you'll go back to being the coolest demon in Sunnydale.

CLEM: It's okay. Lorne's a cool cat. Excuse the pun. It's not like we're in competition or something. You guys would still like me if he moved to town, right?

BUFFY: Of course. We like you for you. You don't have to impress us. Wow! It's like he held that note forever.

The Potentials are trying to make sense of the weirdness.

MADARI: What kind of demon is he?

JOAN: I think he's a lounge demon.

FADILA: Does this mean there are friendly demons who are, like, contributing members of society?

AMANDA: I wonder what other singers are really demons.

Gunn drives his truck, with Fred sitting in the middle and Wesley on the right. They're out looking for vampires to kill. Hopefully, Angelus's vampires. Gunn slams on the brakes and tires screech to a halt. In an alley to their right are eight vampires sharing two human corpses. The three of them load up and get out. The vampires notice they have company. They also notice they have numerical superiority, and expect to make quick work of the humans. They charge at them. Fred dusts one of them with her crossbow. Two vampires come at Wesley. He beheads the one to his left, keeps spinning around and hits the one to his right with a left roundhouse kick. A vampire grabs Wesley from behind. He hits the vampire twice in the ribs with the back end of his ax handle, then lands a right elbow to the vampire's face, breaking free. He spins around and beheads the vampire.

Fighting on Wesley's right, Gunn kicks one vampire to the ground with his left foot and knocks another one down with a swing of his baseball bat. He stakes that vamp with pointy end of the modified bat. The vampire he had knocked down stands up. Charles hits him in his left knee with the bat. He swings for the vampire's head, but it grabs the bat with its two hands. Holding onto the bat with his right hand, Gunn has a stake pop out of his left wrist and uses it to dust the vampire.

Fred drops the crossbow and wields her mace against an attacking vamp. She hits him twice in the head. He throws her to the ground. When he charges in carelessly, Fred sweeps out his legs. She stands up, hits the vampire twice with her mace to prevent him from getting to his feet, then stakes him in the back. Wesley and Gunn are now each fighting one vampire. Wes and his vampire trade right punches. Fred pulls out her flail and attacks the vampire on his left flank. Now outnumbered, the vampire turns and runs, but Fred tenderizes his back with her flail before he gets too far. Wes catches up to the vampire and kicks him in the face. When the vampire stands up, Wesley forces his back to the wall. With nowhere to run, Wesley beheads him. Fred now turns to assails the vampire Gunn is fighting from behind.

Gunn takes a right cross, then lands right and left jabs. He blocks the vampire's right kick and knocks him back with a right uppercut. The vampire turns and runs – right into Fred's flail. He yelps in pain and spins back around, holding the left side of his neck where the spikes dug into his flesh. Gunn kicks the vampire in the stomach with his right foot, lands a left cross to his nose, and stakes the vampire. They pick up their weapons and head back to the truck.

GUNN: Eight vamps. Not bad.

WES: But none of them were Angelus's.

FRED: Whoever they were, they won't be killing any more people. We're gettin' good at this.

When they reach the truck, they hear a thud. They look and see that a woman's corpse has fallen into the flatbed. Another one follows a few seconds later. They look up to see where the bodies are coming from. Angelus leaps down from the rooftop, landing on his feet in the middle of the street. Gunn, Wes and Fred are shocked to see him. They look around nervously, expecting his cohorts to be lying in wait.

ANGELUS: Don't worry. It's just me this time. Actually, that's why you should worry. [goes bumpy] Good work back there. Tough, resourceful, efficient, cohesive. Angel would be so proud. Me – I just wanna see how good you really are. I'll be very impressed if any of you are still standing 60 seconds from now. Any one care to call me overconfident?

Gunn stands in front of Angelus with his bat. Wes stands to Gunn's right, wielding the short spike on the back end of his ax blade. Fred stands to Gunn's left with her mace and flail. They are unnerved by the sight of a completely-healed, robustly arrogant Angelus. But they're confident one of them can land a good blow and hurt Angelus enough to buy time to for them to dash to the truck and make a clean getaway. Plus, their success two nights ago makes them less intimidated by Angelus than they had once been.

Wesley swings his ax spike for Angelus's left ribcage. At the same time, Gunn swings his bat for Angelus's face and Fred swings her flail for his right kneecap. Angelus reaches his left arm out to the side and snaps Wesley's ax handle in two. At the same time, he reaches his right arm out in front of him and grabs the barrel of Gunn's bat. He pushes Gunn backwards. When he reached his right arm out, he moved his right foot forward. Fred's flail missed its target and the chain wrapped around Angelus's right calf. He then pulls his right leg backwards. Fred continues holding onto the flail, so Angelus's action drags her to the ground. Angelus turns to his left to face Wes, who puts his hands up to protect his face and slowly and prudently retreats. Angelus carefully approaches Wesley. Gunn tries to ambush Angelus on his right flank. Without taking his eyes off Wesley, Angelus sticks his right fist out to the side and nails Gunn in the face with a right jab, knocking him to the ground. When Angelus throws the punch, Wes tries a right jab of his own. But Angelus is too fast for him. He pulls his right arm back and connects with a left uppercut before Wesley can land the punch. The uppercut sends Wesley backwards and airborne. He lands against the front left side of the truck. Angelus grabs the back of Wesley's neck and slams his head through the truck's front right headlight. Gunn tries another attack. Angelus reaches his right arm out, grabs the bat when it is two inches from his skull, then knocks Charles backwards with a left cross to the face. Fred swings the flail in her left hand. At the last instant, Angelus ducks and avoids a blow to his face. When he ducks, he steps forward so he will not be hit by the flail when it comes round again. Inside the weapon's range, he grabs its chain and yanks it out of her left hand. Fred now uses the mace in her right hand. Angelus kicks her in the chin with his left foot before she can land a blow.

Gunn swings his bat for Angelus's knees. He jumps in the air to avoid the blow. Gunn drops the bat and tries a left jab. Angelus gets his feet on the ground and grabs Gunn's left fist in his right hand. Charles tries a right cross, but Angelus grabs Gunn's right wrist with his left hand.

ANGELUS: You just don't give up.

He head-butts Gunn, knocking him to the ground.

ANGELUS: That'll cost you.

Wes has struggled to his feet. Angelus is moving towards Fred and away from Wesley. But he hears the Wes approaching from behind and reaches his left hand backwards, grabbing Wes by the throat. He continues to look at Fred.

ANGELUS: Pop quiz, baby. Which one of your men do you save?

She comes at him with her mace. He kicks her in the chest with his right foot while still gripping Wesley's neck.

ANGELUS: The answer, of course, is neither.

Wes tries to kick Angelus in the groin with his right foot. Angelus swivels his hips to the side and the kick sails by harmlessly. Wes does connect with a left punch to the right side of Angelus's face. Angelus squeezes Wesley's throat even tighter. He belts Wes twice in the stomach with his right fist, then lets go and lands a right roundhouse kick. Angelus finishes Wesley off with a mighty left uppercut. Wesley's body flies through the air, and his back slams onto the front hood of Gunn's truck. Charles attacks Angelus from his right and lands a left cross to Angelus's face. Angelus turns and hits Gunn in the face with the back of his right hand. He looks at Gunn and Fred, both of whom are standing, but barely.

ANGELUS: I wonder if you'd give your life to save her. No I don't. I know you would. But I'm not going to give you that chance. See Charles, it's no fun for me unless I get to see you mourn for her.

Fred comes at Angelus with her mace. He shields his face, and she hits him in the chest. He levels her with a right jab.

ANGELUS: I just love it when the girl puts up a fight. [looks at Gunn, smirks] Don't you?

Gunn throws a right kick for Angelus's chin. He leans back out of the way. Gunn tries a right cross, which Angelus blocks. He punches Angelus in the stomach with his left fist. Angelus punches Gunn in the stomach with his right fist. Charles is clearly worse off from the exchange of blows.

ANGELUS: Never give up. Never surrender. God that's lame.

He clobbers Gunn with left and right hooks to the face. Angelus grabs Charles and tosses him 15 feet in the air. Gunn crashes through the front windshield of his truck. The back of his head hits the steering wheel on the way down, and his feet end up just above the glove compartment. Angelus turns to his right and looks at Fred, who has gotten back to her feet. He walks towards her. She backs away. When he gets close, she swings her mace. Angelus rips it out of her right hand. He grabs both her wrists and shoves her to the ground. Angelus gets on top, holds her arms down and spreads her legs. Finally, she looks really scared. More like a victim than a fighter. Angelus was waiting for that moment. He savors it while he holds her down and looks into Fred's eyes.

ANGELUS: In my fantasy, they both watch. Pity that I had to knock them unconscious. Tonight's your lucky night, Freddy. Can't say the same for Faith. Sweet dreams, baby.

Angelus slams the back of Fred's skull into the pavement, knocking her out. He picks her up and throws her towards the truck. Fred's back crashes into the roof of the cab. She bounces off the roof and falls face-first into the female corpses Angelus tossed into the flatbed before the fight started. A perfect landing. Angelus puts back on his human face and walks away, whistling joyfully to himself. This is turning into a very good night for him.

NEXT: Lindsey takes the stage, making the women swoon and the men jealous. Faith and Gwen mix Slaying with partying, while Dru slaughters a biker gang before taking on Faith and Gwen. But now that Angelus has got his groove back, Dru shouldn't be the biggest of Faith's worries. Angelus is in the mood to kill himself a Slayer.


	35. Bad Girls and Badder Girls

Faith and Gwen fight hard and party harder, as does Drusilla. Elijah bonds with Spike. Faith and Gwen face off against Dru. And Lindsey takes the stage, making Xander and Spike very jealous.

Drusilla takes Alanna, Tina and Vala to a very tough-looking biker bar in Long Beach. The four ladies enter. Several men whistle.

DRU: Get to work, girls.

The three vampires easily pick up three men. Alanna's guy has a girlfriend. She objects. Alanna hits her in the chest with the palm of her right hand. The woman flies ten feet backwards. They take their men out back. Drusilla scans the joint, looking for opportunities. Along the left wall, she sees two big, tough-looking men sitting with their girlfriends around a semi-circular booth. She walks over and kicks the table over. The drinks tumble into the peoples' laps. One of the men gets up. He's about 6'4'', 300 pounds. Dru calmy looks up at him. "What's the hell's your problem?," he asks Dru. His assumption is that this woman is mentally disturbed. He's right. Problem is, he has no idea how powerful she is.

DRU: I wont trouble.

He laughs. The other guy and the two woman stand up. "Let me take care of her," suggests the girlfriend of the man staring Dru down.

DRU: Wait your turn, deary.

Dru shoots the fingers of her left hand towards the man's adam's apple, effortlessly fracturing that bone and crushing his trachea. He falls on his knees, both hands grabbing his throat, desperately gasping for breath. His girlfriend swings for Dru's face. Dru smashes the woman's nose with her right palm. The other woman grabs her man's right arm and lets him know she wants to get the hell out. But her boyfriend wants to stick up for his buddy. He throws a right hook. Dru grabs his fist with her left hand and crushes his knuckles. He yelps in pain. His girlfriend screams. Dru points at her with her right index finger.

DRU: Face the wall, dolly.

The woman stands there terrified. Dru goes bumpy.

DRU: Face the woll!!

She does as she is told. Dru grabs a beer mug in her right hand, smashes off the top of it and shoves the broken glass through the man's jaw and into his skull. A third biker hits her in the back with a chair. She turns around and strikes him with the back of her hand. He flies over the bar. She looks around the place. The women scream, while the men prepare to defend their "brothers." They've never run away from a fight. Drusilla grabs one of the fleeing women and bites her from behind, so everyone can watch. The bikers have seen some crazy things in their years. But never anything like this. Dru turns around. The woman she told to turn around is peeking.

DRU: Oiyes on the woll!

She slams the woman's had through the wall.

DRU: Else they go in the wall.

Dru laughs. A man comes at her with a large knife in his right hand. She grabs his right wrist with her left hand and gazes into his eyes. Once she's mesmerized him, Dru reaches out her right hand and slits his throat with her fingernail. She kicks another attacker back with her right foot. Dru spins a third attacker around and slams his head into the metal railing that runs along the bar. She looks at the back of his Hell's Angel's jacket and holds him from behind.

DRU: There's only one Angel.

She bites down and drains him. Another big, tough guy attacks. He manages to land a right cross. It doesn't seem to hurt Dru.

DRU: Naught nice to strike a girl.

She grabs the man and tosses him across the bar. He crashes through a table. Outside, Alanna, Tina and Vala here the pandemonium. They finish feeding off their victims.

ALANNA: Sounds like mummy needs us. [Though all four of them are Angelus's sires, these three see Dru as a maternal figure because of her strength, her experience and her closeness to Angelus.]

The three vampires come back in and stand alongside Drusilla, staring down a dozen men.

TINA: Let's rock and roll.

They four of them go to work pummelling the men up and down the saloon.

VALA: We rock. They roll.

A man comes at Dru from behind with a broken whisky bottle in his right hand. She reaches her left arm back, grabs his right forearm and flips the man. He lands right in front of her. Dru takes the bottle and drives it down into his skull.

DRU: What you get for foiting dirty.

Alanna, Vala and Tina are far for acrobatic than the minimalist Dru. They each take on three men at once, knocking them through the air with flying kicks. Dru sticks to simple punches and throws. Four men are dead. The other eight, who are all badly injured, stumble out the front door. Vala smells a victim in the ladies' bathroom. She runs in there with Tina and Alanna. They see a terrified woman, smile and leap on top of her. Sometimes they find it fun to hunt and kill in packs.

The woman whose nose Dru broke leaves her dead lover behind and makes a run for it. Dru grabs her.

DRU: Shame on you. Nevah desert your man. 

She bites down. Vala, Tina and Alanna return from their kill. The woman whose head Dru shoved through the wall has regained consciousness. With blood on their chins, the three eager vampires leap at her, pin her down and dig in like hungry hyenas. When they've finished, Dru, Alanna, Vala and Tina all go back to their human faces and daintily wipe the blood off their mouths with silk handkerchiefs. Dru walks up to the bar.

DRU: One Virgin Mary, please.

The bartender stands there shivering and wetting his pants in fear. Dru continues smiling politely, but she slams her left fist through the bar. The saloon keeper jumps back and quickly fixes the drink. The other girls share a bottle of champagne. The four of them leave. 15 dead, including eleven Hell's Angels. Word soon gets out among the demons about what happened. Later that night, some of them come to Long Beach and turn the biker bar into a demon bar, eviscerating the hapless owner.

Faith and Gwen decide to have a girls' night out. Faith wears her burgundy leather pants and black silk tank top. Gwen's in red skin-tight pants, shirt and gloves. Both wear matching bright red lipstick. Gwen zips them around town in her red Italian racing motorcycle, with Faith hanging on in the passenger seat. They cruise around the city's major nightspots, looking for trouble. Finally, in West Hollywood they notice something suspicious. A club's front door is shut and the doorman outside has been bitten. They decide to get to work. Faith takes the front, Gwen the back.

Gwen throws a line onto the roof. The hook grabs the edge and she climbs up. She then positions herself right above the rear exit. She repels down, kicks the door twice and pulls herself just above the door, hanging there and waiting for the moment to strike. A vampire opens the door. He sees nothing. Gwen swoops down head-first and stakes him. She cuts herself free, flips around so she lands on her feet, then puts her left foot in the door just before it closes.

The vampires don't notice this because of Faith's far more ostentatious entrance through the front. Bypassing the front door, Faith leaps through the front window. The vampire guarding the front door turns to his right and attacks her. Faith lands a straight right kick and a left roundhouse kick, knocking the vampire against the bar. She punches him in the nose with a right jab and stakes him with her left hand. She turns to her left. A vampire comes at her. She leaps in the air, does a forward flip and lands on top of the bar. Faith kicks the vampire in the face with her left foot. He retreats towards the other three vampires, who stand 30 feet in front of Faith near the middle of the club. She looks around at the startled people and smiles. She likes playing the hero.

FAITH: Nothing to worry about. This'll all be over in a minute. Probably sooner.

She leaps forward, does a front flip and lands with her feet on the floor. The four vampires approach her. Lying in wait behind them is Gwen. She has picked up a cue stick. Faith leaps in the air and kicks one vampire to the ground. She hits another with a flying left roundhouse kick. A vampire tries to kick her in the face. Face does a back flip. The "audience" gasps. Faith hits the vampire with right and left punches. He lands a right hook. She connects with a left kick to the stomach and a right kick to the chin. He goes down. The fourth vampire grabs Faith from behind and pushes her face-first into the wall. She turns around and ducks his right cross. His fist slams into the brick wall. Faith knocks him back with a right jab. She ducks his right kick, jumps in the air to avoid his attempt to sweep her legs with his left foot, grabs him and tosses him 15 feet backwards. More gasping from the crowd. He lands on a pool table.

Faith sees Gwen behind the vampire on her far right. She approaches that vampire. While he focuses on Faith, Gwen runs him through with the pool cue. More gasping as he turns to dust. Gwen looks to her right and sees a vampire standing on top of the pool table. She sweeps his legs with the fat end of the cue. He falls on the table, gets his feet back on the ground and attacks Gwen. Faith looks to her left and takes on the two other vampires. One of them hits her in the side of the head with a table leg, knocking Faith to the ground. The crowd gets worried. She kicks him away with her right foot and vaults to her feet. The crowd breathes a collective sigh of relief. The other vampires comes at her with a broken beer bottle in his right hand. She shatters it with a left kick, lands two right jabs to his face and throws him on his back. She leaves him behind to dust the vamp with the table leg in his right hand. He swings for her head, She ducks. He clubs her on the left side of her ribcage. She grabs his right arm with both hands and throws him over her shoulder. When he gets up, she throws his back against the wall. Faith lands a left kick to the chest and a right kick to the face. She follows this with right, left and right crosses, then grabs the stake in her left hand and finishes him off. The other vampire leaps at her from behind. Faith kicks her left leg backwards and knocks him down. The onlookers are very impressed by her sense of timing. She turns to finish this last one off.

Gwen tries to stake her vampire with the cue. He grabs it and breaks off its front two feet. She flips it around and tries to nail him in the mouth with the blunt end. He grabs the weapon with both hands and pushes Gwen into the wall near the bar and opposite Faith. He swings for her face. Gwen ducks and the cue shatters against the wall. She lands a right uppercut. He responds with a right cross, grabs Gwen and tosses her to his left. She gets up as he continues the attack. She does a backwards hand spring to buy time, a cartwheel to her left to avoid his right fist, then kicks him in the side of his head with her right foot. He tries a left kick. She ducks under it. He lands a right kick to her stomach. She connects with a quick left-right combination of punches.

Faith decks the vampire with a right uppercut. He gets up and lands a right kick. She backs up, then launches a flying right roundhouse kick. The blow spins him around and his face slams into the bar. Faith stakes him in the back. She turns to her left and sees the vampire between her and Gwen. He blocks Gwen's right cross and shoves her back into the rear wall. She kicks him away with her right foot. She takes a few steps towards the vampire, leaps in the air and pops him in the chin with a flying left kick. He staggers backwards, right into Faith's stake. He disappears. Gwen sees Faith. They both smile. Gwen walks up to her and they high-five.

FAITH: Not bad, G.

GWEN: Five by five?

FAITH: Damn right, girlfriend.

The crowd applauds and cheers the two women who have saved their lives with such style and swagger. Faith and Gwen walk up to the bar. The bartender tells them anything they want's on the house. They turn around and look at the dozens of grateful men in the club.

FAITH: Anything?

GWEN: That's what the man said.

FAITH: Spot any hotties?

GWEN: A few. No, wait. A few more than a few.

The music starts playing again.

FAITH: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

GWEN: Work hard. Play harder.

FAITH: We make such a wicked great team.

They look at each other and smile, then wade out into the crowds of adoring menfolk. Each of them takes two of the cutest guys and they hit the dance floor. Most of the other men stand nearby and watch the two superwomen.

Lorne leaves the stage to cheers and hollers. Everyone's on their feet.

KENNEDY: I've never seen a man do "Lady Marmalade."

GILES: I'm amazed he could hit those high notes. Probably one of his demon powers.

ANYA: Didn't I tell you Lorne was fabulous?

XANDER: I can't believe you flirted with him.

ANYA: I didn't flirt. I was merely being playful and coquettish.

ANDREW: Lorne is so cool! And I loved that story about when he went home and Angel liberated the humans from slavery. It was so "Star Trek," especially the way they violated the Prime Directive to serve the interests of justice.

XANDER: They don't have a Prime Directive. And I say any race of demons stupid enough to make Cordy their princess deserves to be overthrown.

WILLOW: Remember his story about that Virginia girl? Can you imagine Wesley impersonating Angel, and getting away with it?

BUFFY: I don't understand their thing with that evil law firm. Angel fought the same Big Bad year after year after year. They never killed him. He never defeated them. That's just wrong. It's unnatural.

ANYA: Only near the Hellmouth does evil follow predictable Circadian rhythms.

Elijah and Kit arrive. They walk over to Buffy and her friends.

KIT: We heard a lot of cheering when we were outside, waiting to get in. Did we miss the first set?

BUFFY: No. He hasn't taken the stage. It was something completely different. Have you guys seen Dawn?

KIT: Not since school got out. She said she'd be here later with Connor.

BUFFY: You guys remember Dawn's friend Kit.

XANDER: The one she met on her first day?

BUFFY: Yeah.

XANDER: I'm Xander. The one who destroyed the talisman, made the spirits go away.

KIT: How thoughtful of you.

BUFFY: This is Elijah.

WILLOW: So this is the guy. We've heard a lot about you. Does Mr. Moore still teach AP Chem? [Willow's happy to have another brain around]

ELIJAH: He does. But I think he's retiring at the end of the year. [Elijah sees Spike. He looks surprised] I saw you in the school basement.

Spike pauses for a few seconds.

SPIKE: I don't remember that. But it's certainly possible.

ELIJAH: Two days ago.

SPIKE: That's not possible.

ELIJAH: "The Chelsea Hotel. I remember it well." You talked about killing Nancy Spungen.

GILES: You killed Nancy Spungen?

SPIKE: No. Not exactly.

ELIJAH: You said some guy named Drew did it. But it was your idea. And you were supposed to kill Sid, but didn't because he had too much junk in his system. I didn't understand that part. You said he was going to kill himself soon anyways so it didn't matter.

GILES: Is any of this true?

SPIKE: All of it.

ELIJAH: There was a New Musical Express issue about her death on the floor. I picked it up, then you appeared.

SPIKE: I guess I left that there.

GILES: It must have had mystical properties. Reading it caused you to see his ghost.

ELIJAH: But that was 24 years ago. The ghost looked the same age you are now.

Everyone pauses for a few seconds.

ANYA: Spike's a vampire.

ELIJAH: I thought vampires were evil. Why is he hanging with you guys?

XANDER: I used to ask that exact same question.

BUFFY: Spike is a vampire with a soul.

ELIJAH: A good vampire? That's implausible. Then again, the very existence of vampires is implausible. So why the hell not? During the past three days I've become very good at suspending my disbelief.

He takes out a small cross and touches it to Spike's left shoulder. He winces, flinches and grabs the shoulder.

SPIKE: What the bloody hell was that for?

ELIJAH: So that really works. Does holy water also hurt you?

SPIKE: Yes, and if you throw any at me –

ELIJAH: Does that mean God's a Catholic?

GILES: I never thought about it that way.

ELIJAH: It's probably just psychosomatic. Vampires do it to themselves.

Elijah pulls out a zippo lighter. He flicks it backwards and forwards against his hip, takes out a cigarette and lights it.

WILLOW: I hear you're friends with Connor.

Elijah takes a drag.

ELIJAH: He's a nice guy. And the cool thing is, ever since I started hanging with him, all the guys at school who used to beat me up are now afraid of me. No one messes with the four of us.

This confirms Buffy's fear of the parallels with Angelus, Darla, Spike and Dru. The fact that Elijah smokes only adds to the wiggins factor.

SPIKE: Can I bum one?

ELIJAH: Sure. No hard feelings about the cross thing?

SPIKE: Just don't do it again.

ELIJAH: It's a deal.

He takes out another cigarette, lights it with the one he's smoking and hands it to Spike.

ELIJAH: Your ghost alluded to the fact that you were soulless back then.

SPIKE: I was. Got my soul back last year.

ELIJAH: And how long have you been a vampire?

SPIKE: 123 years.

ELIJAH: So that means when you did the punk thing you were already a century old. Must've met a lot of interesting people. Seen a lot of cool bands. Ever catch the Velvet Underground?

SPIKE: At Max's in '70.

ELIJAH: So you never saw them with their original line-up?

GILES: I did. London, 68. Spectacular show. The interplay between Lou and Sterling was magnificent, to say nothing of Cale's virtuosity.

ELIJAH: A man with taste. Did you start a band? I mean, because I'm sure you've heard the cliche about Velvet Underground fans.

GILES: I started a band before I saw them live. Thus it's not applicable in my case.

ELIJAH: [to Kit] You didn't tell me Buffy had such cool friends.

KIT: I've never met these two. Guess they weren't around when I was over at the house.

WILLOW: Buffy says you're a senior. Have you decided on a college?

ELIJAH: Cal Tech. Chemical engineering.

WILLOW: That's great. Isn't Cal Tech in Los Angeles?

ELIJAH: Where Connor's dad lives. Yeah, it is.

The Scoobies look confused.

XANDER: You know what Connor is?

KIT: Dawn told me, and I told Eli.

ELIJAH: I was playing 21 in my driveway with him and Carlos. Connor went for a dunk and tripped over the rim. After that I had a few questions. Like I said, gotten real good at suspending my disbelief. Does explain a lot. Like his complete and utter unfamiliarity with our world. But he's a really good listener. Learns quick. Very curious. Connor's always coming to me with questions about stuff.

SPIKE: You too?

ELIJAH: Hold on a minute. Isn't Connor's dad also one of these good vampires? You two should get together.

Spike scowls. Buffy smirks. Elijah sees Amanda.

ELIJAH: Hey Amanda.

AMANDA: Hi Eli.

ELIJAH: Who are all your friends?

KIT: They're like Buffy's trainees.

ELIJAH: Slayer apprentices. Good idea. Do you always travel as a group? Cause then Preston would be the safest guy in town.

The Potentials laugh, since they saw Amanda save Preston.

KIT: Hey Kennedy. Haven't seen you since Christmas break. Notice the ranks have gotten more crowded. Must get pretty ugly in the morning, since there's only one bathroom in that house.

ELIJAH: They could always shower in groups of two.

Xander's intrigued. Kit looks dismayed. Xander looks dismayed that he's intrigued by this idea.

ELIJAH: I was joking, Kit. And I meant it purely from an efficiency standpoint. You usually like my flippant and slightly sick sense of humor.

KIT: Because usually it's more charming. I'll give you a free pass this time.

ELIJAH: So now I have to be on my best behavior. Darn. That's no fun. But being without you's even less fun.

MOLLY: Hi Kitty.

KIT: Hey Molly.

MOLLY: Where's Carlos?

KIT: He should be around here somewhere.

ELIJAH: I see him by the bar with Denise.

KIT: We should go say hi.

ELIJAH: Nice meeting all of you. Say Spike – can we hang out some time? You seem like you have a lot of interesting stories. I mean the ones that don't involve murder.

Kit and Elijah leave.

SPIKE: I like that boy.

ANYA: Is it just me, or is that kid the complete exact opposite of Connor?

GILES: He's certainly taking his encounters with the supernatural in stride.

WILLOW: Just like Oz.

BUFFY: He's nothing like Oz.

WILLOW: Smart. Sardonic. Cute. But much more talkative. And not a werewolf. He's not, right?

After having their fun, Faith and Gwen head off. They hit a few other clubs, don't find any more vampires, but do find a few more hot guys to toy with. Gwen zooms down the Sunset Strip when she sees a group of people running the other way. She pulls over and stops the bike. They get off.

FAITH: Looks like trouble.

GWEN: I thought we were the ones who looked like trouble?

FAITH: We are. But we're also looking for trouble.

A few more people run past them.

GWEN: Think we've found it.

They walk on. A block later they see Drusilla, Alanna, Tina and Vala approaching. They two groups of women walk towards each other, the vampires with their human faces on.

FAITH: Is that her?

GWEN: It is.

FAITH: Guess it's time to throw down.

The two sides confidently approach one another. Gwen is to Faith's right. Alanna is to Dru's right. Tina is to her left, with Vala on the far left. Alanna, Tina and Vala are a step or two behind Dru, since after all she is the leader. TIna wears gold pants and a black sleeveless top, Vala a short black velvet dress over blue stockings, Alanna blue suede pants with a pink satin top, and Drusilla black pants to match her hair with a dark green sleeveless turtleneck to match her eyes. All six glam women stop when they are close. Gwen casually pulls the fingers off her gloves. Dru turns to her left and looks at Gwen.

DRU: Careful girls. This one has special powers. One of a koind.

Drusilla looks straight ahead at Faith.

DRU: Nothing special about this one's powers.

Faith and Dru stand six feet apart, staring each other down.

DRU: Did you know that I made you?

Faith decides to keep it light as a way of staying aloof from Dru's quirky taunts.

FAITH: Always wanted to hear I was adopted. Funny thing is, my mom was even crazier than you.

DRU: Special present for daddy. Guess that's whoiy he cared for you. Wonted to keep you from dying.

FAITH: Snuffed a Slayer who couldn't kill you to create a Slayer who could. Not the smartest thing to do.

Dru pulls her shirt up a few inches and runs her fingers along the spot where Faith still has the scar where Buffy stabbed her. The point is to show that, unlike Faith, Drusilla has emerged from her encounters with Buffy unscathed. Dru smiles and looks Faith in the eyes.

DRU: Does she still have your knife?

Faith launches a right kick for Dru's face. She backs up a step and laughs. Faith lands a left roundhouse kick to Dru's stomach and follows this with a right cross to her face. Dru pushes Faith back. Faith tries a right roundhouse, which Dru blocks. Dru lands a right jab. Faith responds with a right cross and a left jab. Dru circles to Faith's left. When the fight begins, Alanna moves to her left and joins Tina and Vala in attacking Gwen, who looks worried. Vala grabs her right arm and Tina her left. Alanna comes at her and connects with a left cross. Gwen puts her fingers against Vala's and Tina's chests and shocks them both for a few seconds. While she does this, Gwen hits Alanna in the face with a right kick. The shocks make Vala's and Tina's hearts beat. They are stunned beyond belief and let go of Gwen. She gives Vala a flying right kick and Tina a leaping left roundhouse. Both of them go down.

GWEN: Was it good for you? Never turned on a chick before.

Alanna charges Gwen, who jumps in the air and knocks her back with a flying left kick. She kicks Tina with her left foot and Vala with her right when they try to get up. Faith closes with Dru, has her left jab blocked, but lands a right uppercut. Dru grabs Faith and tosses her to the ground. Faith gets up. She comes at Dru, prepares to launch a right kick, but hesitates. Dru lands a right jab. Faith sweeps Dru's legs with her right foot. Dru quickly gets to her feet and tries a right kick. Faith backs up. Dru stands still, making Faith attack her. Faith decides to help Gwen instead. She grabs Tina and tosses her back. Alanna throws a right hook. Gwen ducks. Faith rolls across the top of Gwen's back and attacks Vala. Faith blocks a right punch and a left kick. She answers with a left kick to the stomach and a left cross and a right hook to the face. She tries a left roundhouse kick, which Vala blocks. Vala hits Faith in the chin with a right kick. Faith responds with a left hook and a right uppercut, knocking Vala down. Gwen blocks Alanna's right jab with her left arm. The vampire lands a left hook. Gwen puts her right hand on Alanna's chest. She backs up when she starts breathing.

GWEN: Care for more?

The temporarily weakened Alanna throws a right kick and a left punch. Gwen easily blocks these blows and connect with left and right punches. Alanna backs up even more and only receives a glancing blow from Gwen's leaping right kick. Dru knocks Gwen to the pavement with a right cross to the left side of her face. She walks towards Faith, who throws a right cross. Dru ducks. Faith lands a left jab, Dru a right uppercut. Faith kicks her in the chest. Dru backs up. Gwen gets to her feet and is kicked back towards Faith by Tina. Faith and Gwen regroup and charge the four vampires, who retreat.

DRU: Remember dearies. Naught nice to eat the Christmas goose before daddy's taken a bite.

They turn around and walk away. Faith hurls her stake at Dru's back. Drusilla reaches her right arm back and – without even turning her head – grabs the stake out of the air. She flings it backwards. Faith catches it in her two hands when the point is three inches in front of her left eye. They give chase. The vampires turn right, enter an alley and disappear down a sewer manhole.

GWEN: They ran. Does that mean we won?

FAITH: For now.

Angelus climbs the stairs at Lindsey's hotel. At he travels between the 19th and 20th floors, his head hits an invisible barrier.

ANGELUS: The girls were right. My enemies have a safe haven of their own. Good thing they're not in it.

At the Bronze, Lindsey takes the stage. When the spotlights shines on him, the women just stare, open-mouthed.

ANYA: Oh baby. Come to mama.

BUFFY: Willow, remember how you found it attractive to see a guy playing in a band, and I didn't understand why? I understand completely now.

SPIKE: You have got to be bloody kidding me!

WILLOW: Kennedy, you know how I saw Giles singing and I found him kinda sexy? Well this, this –

KENNEDY: Must be so much sexier.

WILLOW: You read my mind, sweetie.

XANDER: Excuse me!

KENNEDY: Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm blind.

Andrew points his camera Lindsey and smiles.

ANDREW: He has such a beautiful voice.

BUFFY: It goes with his face.

ANYA: Not to mention his body. Is anyone else imagining him naked?


	36. Angelus Gets Payback

[Angelus paints the town and has his big showdown with Faith and Gwen. Meanwhile, Giles, Spike and Xander try to get over their Lindsey envy.]

Angelus goes to the swanky night club at the top of an office building where the Beast slaughtered dozens he rose. The place has reopened. It is close enough to Lindsey's hotel that Angelus is still in position to intercept Faith. He figures Faith would be out late because, well, that's her style. No point standing around waiting for her. Also, he is in the mood for doing something terribly nasty. Something that will provoke her. Angelus scans the large room. He is looking for other vampires. He finds two and discreetly gets their attention. He gains their confidence and talks in hushed towns about how he wants them to help him ravage the place. The three of them go up to the balcony to case the joint. Angelus keeps talking while he chews on a toothpick. He takes it out of his mouth and pulls another toothpick out of his pocket. He puts his arms around the two vampires and keeps talking while he discreetly dusts both of them with the toothpicks, penetrating the flesh just outside of the sternum. Angelus likes to work a room alone.

When he gets downstairs, Angelus spots an attractive woman in her early twenties with short blonde hair. He approaches her from behind and touches her neck with his right hand. It is cold. She quickly turns around and notices he's also a vampire. She smiles because he's a very attractive vampire. Angelus smiles because he realizes he can use her.

ANGELUS: New to the game?

LILY: Bout a month on the scene.

ANGELUS: Sired during the darkness. Those were good times.

LILY: I'm Lily.

ANGELUS: Angelus.

She appears to be very surprised and a tad star struck.

LILY: Really? Wow!

ANGELUS: I guess you've heard of me.

LILY: It's an honor.

ANGELUS: It will be. How would you like to work with me?

LILY: What did you have in mind?

Angelus explains what he wants her to do. They head in separate directions. Angelus goes to work. His eyes narrow as he searches for victims. He's in more of a predatory than a seductive mood tonight. The kills themselves aren't the art. They're more like the medium. He watches the coat check counter. Two women pick up their coats and head out. Angelus follows. He gets in the elevator with them and pushes the button for the floor two stories below them. They look surprised.

XANDER: He's turned all of you into slack-jawed zombies. Giles, could he be using a love spell?

GILES: The oldest one in the book. Playing an instrument while singing in front of a large crowd. It's entranced women for millennia.

XANDER: And how do were undo it? Wait sec. You were being sarcastic! You've never done that before.

SPIKE: Would you like a napkin to wipe up the puddle of drool collecting at you feet?

BUFFY: I'm not drooling. I'm just enjoying the show. What's wrong with that? Unless you're jealous.

SPIKE: Of this pretty boy? Bollocks! I'm a better singer than him. Only reason you don't see me on stage is that I'm not bloody desperate for attention. And if I was up there, I wouldn't be fossilized as this wanker. White boy singing the blues. Rocker playing country. It was done 35 years ago.

GILES: Pure nostalgia.

ANYA: The whining complaints of jealous, envious men.

GILES: I liked his Merle Haggard cover –

SPIKE: But I liked it better when Graham Parsons did it in 1970.

GILES: You were a Graham Parson's fan?

SPIKE: More of an occasional acquaintance. You know about what happened after he died?

GILES: Of course. It's somewhat legendary. His manager stole his body, drove it to the desert and set it on fire. [Giles pauses] I don't know why that never occurred to me. He didn't die of a heroin overdose. And YOU sired him!?

SPIKE: Wasn't me. I swear. I would never do that to someone with talent. Anyway, by then I hadn't seen him for two years anyway. But your point is valid. About this guy being bloody unoriginal.

XANDER: And you are? Acting all punk like it's 1967.

GILES: I think you mean 1977.

XANDER: And what about you? All the songs you sang were ancient.

GILES: I'll have you know I'm quite hip for someone my age.

SPIKE: As am I.

XANDER: Like that's hard in your case.

GILES: I just think this gentleman is getting by entirely on looks and stage presence.

SPIKE: You really think he's good-looking, Rupert?

XANDER: Well obviously he's a very handsome man. I mean, he's a pretty boy. Probably never risked his life, staked a vampire, fought demons, saved the world. Just runs around singing. How manly is that? Where's the bravery? I know! After the show, Spike can attack him. Not seriously, but just to scare him, make him scream like a woman, show everybody what he's made of.

ANYA: Oh for God's sakes, why don't you just pull out a tape measure and be done with it? That's the problem with your gender. Whenever you try to act like men, you behave like immature little children. And the hypocrisy! I've seen you ogle other women plenty of times – when we were dating! And don't tell me you men have never been entranced by a female singer.

XANDER: Yes. But she was evil.

WILLOW: But she was a werewolf, and I'm sure this guy isn't. I mean, I'm not sure, but I hope.

Lorne comes over.

LORNE: Lindsey a werewolf? Indubitably not. Sorry I didn't come back earlier. I was busy signing autographs. The bartender says any thing I want tonight's on the house. Obviously he isn't aware of my species' incredibly high tolerance for alcohol. He'll regret it in an hour or two. I see you all love Lindsey.

BUFFY: Lorne, did Cordelia ever see him perform?

LORNE: Yes. And her reaction was just like yours. Except she was also shocked because, well, that's a very long story.

Amanda is with Preston. They are talking to Lacey and Edgar. Some of the Potentials see this.

RONA: When can I find a boy to save?

MOLLY: Maybe this singer can get attacked and I can save HIS life.

MADARI: Like you'd be the only one trying to help out if that guy was in danger.

FADILA: One of the benefits of being handsome. Lots of girls want to protect you.

Buffy my have to teach her Potentials to view men as more than damsels in need of rescue. Then again, considering her history with men, and considering the fact that Lindsey has Faith looking out for him, the Potentials might be onto something.

Currently, Faith is out looking for other men to save. She and Gwen go clubbing, partying while keeping an eye out for trouble. Gwen notices something. She takes Faith's hand. Faith bids a friendly goodbye to the boys who were dancing with her. Gwen points to a woman in silver lycra pants and a black leather halter top.

FAITH: Good call, G. She's way too hot for that guy she's hitting on. Gotta be a vamp looking for meal.

They follow the man and woman out. She starts kissing him. Gwen and Faith stand to the left and right of her.

FAITH: Why not just get straight to the biting?

The vampire looks to her right, sees Faith holding a stake, goes bumpy and growls. Faith hits her with a right cross. Gwen knocks her down with a right kick. She gets up and tries to charge Gwen. Faith grabs her from behind and throws her through the air. She slams into the wall six feet to the right of the terrified and deeply confused guy. She goes to bite him. Gwen kicks the vampire in the ribs. Faith kicks her in the face and follows this up with left and right punches. When she pulls her stake back out, the vampire pushes her back a few feet. While the vampire is focused on Faith, Gwen stakes her. Faith walks up to the guy and looks him over. He can't understand why that woman he was about to score with just turned to dust.

FAITH: You're not so bad. Kinda cute. [he smiles, thinking maybe he can score with an even hotter chick] Not that cute. Sorry.

A male vampire, presumably one connected to the female vampire they just dusted, leaps out of nowhere and grabs Gwen from behind. She hits him in the face with the back of her head. Faith turns and sees the new threat. She does a cartwheel and kicks the vampire in the chest, knocking him to the ground. He gets up and tries a right roundhouse kick. She ducks under it. He hits her with a right hook. She responds with a right hook and two left crosses. Faith blocks his left hook, lands a left kick to his stomach and a right kick to his chin. Gwen adds a left jab. Faith stakes him. The confused man runs away.

FAITH: That's some good thinking right there. Run. Go home. Don't invite anyone in. Best thing to do in this situation.

GWEN: What about thanking us for saving his life?

FAITH: Good point. But men tend to do that. The chicks are the ones who treat you like a hero.

GWEN: So we hit the road, keep making the world safe for horny fashion victims?

FAITH: Dirty job. Someone's gotta do it.

They zoom down the road on Gwen's motorcycle.

After killing and copulating, Angelus gets off of Lily and zips up his black slacks. She lies on the floor in a pool of their victims' blood, quite elated.

LILY: That was incredible. You were great. The best.

She goes to get up. He puts his right foot down on her stomach, keeping Lily on her back. She smiles.

LILY: I was hoping you weren't finished.

Angelus smiles.

ANGELUS: I'm not. But you . . .

She looks worried as his voice trails off. Angelus slams his right foot down on her throat, crushing her neck and severing her spinal cord. Lily turns to dust, which mixes with the blood on the carpet. Angelus has a problem with women he didn't sire. He calmy puts on his grey v-neck long-sleeve shirt and long black jacket. He walks out of the room and takes the elevator downstairs. He's off to find Faith.

Everyone's enjoying themselves at the Bronze. Even the men, who've gotten over their envy of the man on stage. The Potentials are mingling around the club, glad they can finally interact with non-Chosen One's their age. Willow and Kennedy are on the dance floor. Anya's even dragged Xander out there.

GILES: He is a very good guitar player.

SPIKE: Never said he wasn't talented. Just didn't think he deserved so much bloody hysteria.

BUFFY: What hysteria? Drop the jealousy and dance with me.

SPIKE: I don't dance. At least not literally.

Buffy stands up and grabs his left arm with her right hand.

BUFFY: Come on. We both know you're lousy at coy.

Spike sighs, rolls his eyes and gets up. Spike's a little weirded-out that, out of all the songs to dance to, Buffy chose Lindsey's version of the soul classic "Dark End of the Street." Buffy didn't know the song and wasn't paying attention to the lyrics:

"At the dark end of the street.

That's where we always meet.

Hiding in shadows where we don't belong.

Living in darkness to hide our wrong."

Lorne sits down between Giles and Andrew.

LORNE: I have in my hand a bottle of this place's finest sIngle-malt Scotch.

Lorne pours a glass for himself and a glass for Giles. Rupert takes a sip.

GILES: Not bad. Isn't the owner going a bit overboard? You only sang two songs.

LORNE: Fabulous as I was on stage tonight, this is for something else. Made a few phone calls to a couple managers I know. Helped the owner book some bands he'd been trying to snag. One of the benefits of living in the big city. Connections in the biz. You have no idea how demoned-up it is. And trust me Ripper, you don't wanna know.

GILES: I must say, I've never met a demon as thoroughly integrated into human society as yourself.

LORNE: Skin color, horns and anatomy aside, I fit in much better here than I ever did in my home dimension.

GILES: Shirking your sacred ancestral duty. I can't help but respect that. However, it appears some of the warrior training you rejected might come in handy. I notice from your stories that you have a nasty habit of getting knocked unconscious.

LORNE: Enormous strength isn't one of my demon powers.

GILES: I'm aware of that. And I must confess, I also used to have a penchant for getting knocked senseless.

Lorne turns to his right and sees Andrew with his camera. He turns to his left, pours some more Scotch for himself and Giles, and asks Rupert a question.

LORNE: Did you hire him to document your epic adventures?

GILES: Andrew is, or rather was, our hostage. He was duped by the First Evil, became our hostage, and now he just hangs around. Like everyone who attaches themselves to us, he has nowhere else to go. He performs odd jobs around the house. Cooking and cleaning and such.

ANDREW: I'm also an expert at demon languages. I can read some Pylean, but can't speak the language, since written and spoken Pylean are so different, as you must already know. All that inflection. As a written language, it's remarkably similar to Klingon.

LORNE: You don't get out much, do you?

Faith and Gwen strut towards the front door of a hot night spot, making heads turn. Dozens of people wait outside. The bouncer lets the two of them in right away. They walk around the club and look at all the other beautiful people, trying the spot suspicious characters. A number of men consider hitting on them, but they are intimidated. Who wouldn't be? Faith notices a possible vampire sitting at the end of the bar.

FAITH: Silver lame jacket. Slicked-back hair. Four o'clock.

GWEN: What am I looking at? Stud, or vampire?

FAITH: Maybe both.

GWEN: I'll take this one. They like bright colors, right?

FAITH: Knock him deader.

Gwen walks over at stands to his right. Then she turns around, leans back against the bar and looks out at the dance floor, pretending not to pay attention.

ASCHER: What are you trying to find?

Gwen looks at Ascher and smiles.

GWEN: A man who's not afraid of me.

After a few minutes of talking, Gwen heads out the front door with tall, dark and handsome Ascher. Faith leaves the dance floor, bids adieu to her male admirers and ducks out the back door. Gwen leans against the wall. Faith comes round behind Ascher. Gwen sees her.

GWEN: Ash, cutie, I have a confession to make. I wasn't picking you up just for myself.

FAITH: Ever gotten screwed by two women at once?

Ascher turns around, sees Faith, and smiles.

GWEN: Cause you're about to.

Gwen hits him in the face with a right cross. He spins around and gets clobbered by Faith's right hook. Gwen sweeps out his legs. He falls to the ground, smiles and goes bumpy.

ASCHER: I just love a tease.

He gets up. Faith and Gwen back away and circle round him.

ASCHER: I mean, I just love killing a tease.

He launches a right kick. Gwen backs up out of the way. Faith comes at Ascher from his left and lands a right jab. He grabs Faith and tosses her to the ground. Ascher kicks Gwen in the stomach. Faith grabs his arms from behind. Gwen lands left and right punches. Ascher is strapping and strong. He frees his left arm, uses it to block Gwen's right kick, spins Faith around with his right arm and tosses her into Gwen. They both go down. Ascher charges at them. Faith trips him up and quickly gets to her feet, as does Gwen. Ascher rises and turns to face the two women, Gwen to his left and Faith to his right. He kicks Faith in the face with a right kick. Gwen blocks his right roundhouse kick. He blocks her left cross and right spin kick. Ascher knocks Gwen down with a left roundhouse. Faith lands a flying right kick to his chin. Ascher staggers backwards. Faith lands a right cross. Ascher blocks her left hook and tosses her to his right. Faith slams into a wall. Gwen comes at Ascher from his right. He tosses her over his shoulder and she lands on her back.

Ascher focuses on Faith. He blocks her left kick and lands a right jab. Faith responds with a right hook and ducks under Ascher's left cross. Ascher kicks Faith in the stomach and lands a right uppercut. Gwen tries to stake him from behind. Ascher reaches back with his right hand, knocks the stake out of Gwen's right hand and puts his hand around her neck. Faith kicks him in the chest. He kicks her in the face. Gwen shoots her legs up, wraps them around Ascher's neck and pulls him to the ground. Faith kicks him in the face. Ascher gets up. Gwen lands a flying right kick, Faith a flying spin kick. Ascher gets Faith with a left jab. She responds with a right uppercut, a right kick, a left hook and then stakes Ascher. Faith's beeper goes off.

FAITH: Think that's Wesley. Better head home.

GWEN: It is getting late.

FAITH: And I think we've kicked enough ass for one night.

Gwen takes them back to the hotel. When they get within a mile of the place, Gwen sees Angelus standing in the road directly in front of them. She guns it. He doesn't move a muscle as Gwen approaches at 60 miles per hour. Angelus just stands there like a statue, head tilted slightly downward, eyebrows slightly raised, eyes looking calmy at Gwen and Faith. At the last instant, Gwen swerves around Angelus, missing him by a foot. She spins her bike around. The back tire screeches as she stops. Gwen and Faith get off the bike. Angelus slowly turns round to face them.

ANGELUS: Ever have one of those nights when you know you can do no wrong? This is one sweet little fantasy I'm sorry to say I've never had. The two of you, together. All tarted-up and color-coordinated. But I think you both knew the bad girls fighting evil schtick couldn't last. At least you'll leave behind two very beautiful corpses. Okay, maybe they won't be quite so beautiful after I'm done with them.

FAITH: I can't decide. You getting braver, or dumber?

ANGELUS: Just better. See you yourselves.

Angelus motions both of them forward. Faith and Gwen get within two yards, but then stop and force him to make the first move. He leaps over them and lands on Gwen's bike, knocking it on its side. Gwen and Faith turn around and attack. Angelus lands a straight left kick to Gwen's head. He blocks Faith's right kick and punches her in the stomach with his right fist. She lands a right hook. Angelus responds with a right jab and a left cross. He knocks her on her back with a right kick. Gwen leaps at Angelus and hits the left side of his face with a flying right kick. This knocks him back a few feet. Gwen tries a left spin kick. Angelus grabs her left ankle. She does a backflip to get free. Faith hits Angelus in the chin with her right foot. He blocks her left cross and lands two left crosses of his own. Faith answers with a right uppercut. Angelus kicks her in the ribs with his left foot and knocks her back with a right hook. He looks at Gwen and Faith standing before him.

ANGELUS: Something about this isn't quite right.

He leaps at Gwen and knocks her down with a flying left kick. Faith attacks Angelus and he throws her to the ground.

ANGELUS: This is a little better.

Gwen gets up. Angelus approaches her. She throws a right cross. He grabs her right arm, spins her around and tosses her to the ground. She slides on her belly for a good ten feet before coming to a stop. Faith comes at him from his left. She lands a right kick. He pivots to face her and lands one of his own. He follows this with a left roundhouse. Faith staggers back towards the sidewalk. Angelus moves in. He brushes aside her left jab and lands a left hook and a right cross. Faith throws a right upper cut. Angelus grabs her right arm and tosses her over his shoulder and out into the middle of the street.

ANGELUS: Now it's just about perfect.

He walks towards Faith, who slowly gets up. To his left, Gwen approaches. He knocks Faith down with a quick right kick to her face just when she gets to her feet and turns to face Gwen. Her shirt and pants have several tears from sliding across the asphalt. She's taken her gloves off.

ANGELUS: Loving the new look. I find desperation very sexy on a woman.

Angelus leaps at Gwen and lands right in front of her. She throws a right cross. Before it can connect, he knocks her down with a right kick. Angelus spins around and gets kicked in the face by Faith. He blocks her next kick, lands left and right punches, then puts Faith on her back with a right roundhouse kick. He goes back to work on Gwen. She connects with a right jab, blocks his left cross and lands a left uppercut. She jumps in the air and tries a flying right kick. Angelus ducks underneath it and sweeps her left leg when it lands. While Gwen is on the ground, Angelus grabs her right leg and pulls her up so that she dangles upside down. He quickly tosses her in the air. She flips around and lands on her feet right in front of Angelus. He kicks her in the ribs with his right foot, lands a left punch to her stomach, a right jab to her throat, then grabs her by the shoulders. He tosses her behind him. She lands on her back, slides a few feet and ends up near her motorcycle. Gwen gets to her feet, picks up her bike, starts the engine and races away. Angelus looks to his left at Faith.

ANGELUS: Not good when the girl who's got your back turns tail and runs when the going gets tough. Still, I can't blame her for saving her own skin. Like anyone would risk their life to save YOU.

FAITH: Never needed it. Really can't say the same for you. All those times you were helpless and needed Buffy or [laughs] Wesley to rescue you.

ANGELUS: No point living in the past.

Angelus blocks Faith's right roundhouse. She lands a left hook. Angelus responds with left and right hooks. He lands a right roundhouse, causing Faith to spin and fall to the ground. Angelus goes bumpy and leaps over towards her. He kicks her twice in the ribs before stepping back.

ANGELUS: I'd be more concerned about trying to have a future if I were you. You know, finding a way to still be alive five minutes from now.

Faith gets up. She's not looking so good. Faith throws a right jab. Angelus moves his head to the left. He connects with a right cross before her left cross can reach his face, and he follows this up with a left uppercut, knocking Faith back a few steps. He swipes her with the back of his right hand. She spins around and falls to her knees. Angelus grabs Faith from behind and leans down to bite the left side of her neck, his left hand holding the front of her neck. Faith rips the crucifix she's wearing off its chain with her right hand. She puts it against Angelus's left hand just before his sinks his teeth into her. Angelus backs away. Faith stands up.

ANGELUS: Then I guess we'll have to do this the slow and painful way. Your choice.

Faith lands a right cross. Angelus responds with a right hook, then a left hook. When Faith throws a left jab, Angelus grabs Faith's left arm, spins her round and tosses her into a storefront window. Her back slams into the plate glass, which cracks and bends but does not break. Angelus kicks her in the stomach with his right foot and punches her in the ribs with his left fist. He lands a right uppercut to her chin, lifting her feet six inches off the ground for a fraction of a second. Faith kicks Angelus in the chest with her right foot, causing him to back up ten feet. She is badly battered, bruised and bloodied by now. Angelus stares into her eyes.

ANGELUS: Bet you're wishing you ran when I gave you the chance.

Faith tries a right roundhouse kick. Angelus steps back out of the way. She throws a left jab. He grabs her left arm and hurls her head-first into a utility pole, leave a small dent in the metal. She tumbles to the pavement. When she gets to her feet, Angelus is standing right in front of her. He knocks her back with a left cross. She jumps in the air and comes at him with a flying right kick. Angelus grabs her right foot with both hands and tosses her behind him. She flies 30 feet through the air before she is caught by Wes and Gunn. Standing with them is Fred. Angelus chuckles.

ANGELUS: The Slayer is bailed out by her Watcher, the brainy girl and the brainy girl's big-hearted guy pal. Why does this seem so familiar?

Gwen leaps down from a rooftop and lands behind Angelus. He turns around and grabs Gwen by her shoulders.

ANGELUS: You must be playing the part of Cordelia.

Gwen puts her hands up Angelus's shirt and shocks his chest for a few seconds. His heart starts beating. He pushes her to the ground and turns around. Faith runs at him and tries another flying right kick. Angelus puts up his arms to block it, but he is temporarily weakened while his heart is beating. The kicks knocks him on his back. Gwen and Faith run to the truck and hop in the flatbed, where Gwen's bike is. Gunn, Wes and Fred get in the cab and Gunn speeds off for the hotel. Angelus stands up and watches them flee. He's glad he's proved his point, made them scared of him once more.

ANGELUS: Five to one. And they still run.

NEXT: Lorne sees Connor, Alanna tries to seduce Spike, the Potentials pick up a few boys, and Lindsey tells the Scoobies about his past.


	37. Demon in a Blue Dress

Xander and Anya dance to Lindsey's cover of the bittersweet Willie Nelson ballad "You'll Always Have Someone."

XANDER: I never told you the real reason I walked out on our wedding. I was afraid you would live to regret marrying me. I didn't want to ruin your life. And I thought the pain of ending it then would be less than the pain I would cause you down the road.

ANYA: So you were trying to protect me. From yourself. Or were you protecting me from myself, from my assumption that you could made me happy? Or is this just another way of saying you were scared? In which case you're not telling me anything new.

XANDER: I'm trying to say it wasn't your fault.

ANYA: Once again, knew that from the beginning.

XANDER: I didn't think I deserved you.

ANYA: Now you're finally making some sense. But what does that have to do with anything? Love's not something you deserve. It's not a job promotion or a haberdasher's license.

XANDER: A what? Anyway, part of me could never quite figure out why a beautiful, intelligent, exciting woman like yourself would ever take an interest in a guy like me. The whole thing always seemed too good to be true. I figured it was only a matter of time before I turned into a pumpkin and you'd realize you didn't marry Prince Charming.

ANYA: Never turned a man into a vegetable. Turned some into trees. The kinds that live for centuries, so they'd be stuck in place, bored out of their minds for several lifetimes. Just thought it would be best to take your brutally butchered metaphor in a lighter, less confusing direction. And I'm supposed to believe all of these doubts occurred to you for the first time while I was standing at the altar?

XANDER: Clearly what we had there was a failure to communicate on my part. My timing was unforgivable. What I did to you was hideous. It's obvious I made a mistake.

ANYA: You wish you had gone through with it? Remember, ex-Vengeance Demon, so you don't have to fear that four letter word.

XANDER: I don't. I don't know if we should have gotten married. I don't know how lousy of a husband I would have made. But I do know that I missed you. Every night when I went to sleep. Alone.

The first set ends. Lindsey leaves the stage for a short break. Buffy goes out for a quick patrol. A few minutes later, Lorne walks to his car to call his friends back in LA and see how they are doing. A striking redhead leans against the driver's side door.

ALANNA: Big fan of your work. Loved that one-man show you put on last year, with the music and the stories. "Memories, of the way we were."

Lorne can read enough to know who and what Alanna is. He sprints back towards the Bronze, but she's too quick and blocks his path. By now she's bumpy. Lorne opens his mouth to scream for help. She clamps his jaw shut before he can make a sound.

ALANNA: How bout you die with quiet dignity?

She snaps Lorne's neck. He falls to the ground.

ALANNA: Guess they're the weaker sex in every species.

As Alanna walks away, Lorne slowly rises to his feet. She hears this and turns around. Lorne's body faces her, but his head is looking the other way. He puts his hands to his skull and slowly pulls his head back around, so he is looking at Alanna. She hears his neck bones crack and snap back into place. He walks up to the stunned vampire.

LORNE: Your point being?

Lorne hits her in the face with a right hook. He grabs his knuckles in pain. The blow hurt him more than it hurt Alanna. She decks him with a right hook. Lorne gets up and backs away, grabbing his jaw with his left hand.

LORNE: I think we've reached an understanding. You can't kill me. I can't kill you. How bout we leave it at that?

Lorne scampers to his car, gets in and drives away to Alanna's left. Alanna looks to her right and sees Buffy 100 yards down the street. She goes back to her human face and slips into the Bronze.

WILLOW: That's interesting. When I was your age, I also couldn't dance with boys. But that was because I was shy and homely and none of them were attracted to me.

ARIELLA: Technically I can dance with boys as long as they don't touch me.

WILLOW: What about girls? Can you dance with them? And touch them?

ARIELLA: Yeah.

WILLOW: So you can go to gay bars?

ARIELLA: Very funny.

WILLOW: I'm just saying, your rules say you can only touch a man after you marry him, but there's nothing saying you can't touch women. Isn't that right?

ARIELLA: Technically, yes. Although if you had this Talmudic discussion with my rabbi he'd probably have an aneurysm. And I'm not talking about the sort of dancing you have in mind. It's the stuff you probably did at your Bat Mitsvah.

WILLOW: You mean with the holding hands and going round in circles? Xander liked it until it made him dizzy and nauseous. Probably because he had scarfed way too many blintzes.

They both laugh at the idea of gawky, funny adolescent Xander making an endearing fool of himself.

ARIELLA: He seems like a perfect shabbas goyim. Not literally, since you don't observe. But he's the one who does all the little things you and your friends can't do. The important, non-glamorous stuff most people only notice when it doesn't get done.

WILLOW: Plus he would do that Snoopy Dance for me each Christmas.

XANDER: What are you two talking about? Sounds suspiciously like me.

ARIELLA: I was just telling Willow that I think you're a real mensch.

XANDER: Hey!! Do I make fun of you behind your back?

WILLOW: Xander, relax. Mensch is a good thing.

XANDER: Oh. Thank you then, I guess.

ANYA: How have you adjusted to life in the First World?

IZORA: Ten people in one room, sleeping on the floor. Waiting hours to take a shower. Back home it's less crowded, with more fresh air.

ANYA: Granted, Buffy is running a tenement, forcing everyone, myself included, to live in squalor. Also, you girls are essentially under house arrest, while I can come and go as I please without worrying that funny-looking men will gut me like a fish. So I understand why your particular predicament has prevented you from fully appreciating the miracle that is American capitalism.

IZORA: No, I've been to the mall. Is that the miracle?

ANYA: You are one very smart little girl.

IZORA: But it's not as much fun as the bazaars back home because I can't bargain.

ANYA: That is very true. Lack of negotiations does take some of the fun out of purchasing goods and services. But I've learned that list prices must exist because most people are boobs and can't figure out the true worth of anything, and without a fix price they would be robbed blind. Plus, my experience in retail has taught me the virtues of efficiency. Less time spent talking to the customers means more time spent taking their money.

IZORA: Take it or leave it. No fuss. Like arranged marriages.

ANYA: Do they have arranged marriages in your backward – I mean, traditional – society?

FADILA: Are you always this tactless?

ANYA: Yes. It's one of my defining traits.

IZORA: That is how they do it back home. Before I came here, I hated the idea. Not having a choice. But then I heard about your romances, your sufferings, your friend's sufferings, and think maybe arranged marriages aren't so bad.

ANYA: They do have a far lower rate of vengeance. Largely because of lowered expectations.

FADILA: But you and your friends are a special case. Each day could be your last. If you're risking your life all the time, why not risk your heart?

Spike sees Alanna staring at him. She wears a short blue dress. Spike looks at her long alabaster legs, her flowing red curls cascading down around her shoulders. He doesn't see the harm in talking, and heads over to her.

ALANNA: Beginning to wonder what I had to do to get your attention. I'm Lana.

SPIKE: Spike.

ALANNA: You come here alone, Spike?

SPIKE: No.

ALANNA: So you're with someone?

SPIKE: Not exactly.

ALANNA: Care to go someplace quiet and talk, just the two of us?

SPIKE: You're Irish. Whereabouts? I mean, where were your ancestors from?

ALANNA: Think they came from County Cork.

SPIKE: That so? I would have guessed Galway. Shows how much I know. Let's go.

He puts his arm around her waist and they walk out. Angelus is from County Galway. Spike can smell him on her. Alanna doesn't know where Liam grew up, so she doesn't get the reference. But she assumes Spike senses that she's a vampire, and she thinks he may recognize her from the other night, even though she didn't have her human face on at that time. They both know the other one knows who they are.

Dawn lies on top of Connor. He holds her arms as she rests her head on his chest. He kisses her forehead.

DAWN: I'm really gonna miss this. A lot.

CONNOR: I know. Me too. Never thought I could be so happy.

DAWN: Tell me about it. [she looks into his eyes. Connor smiles] Wanna go to the Bronze?

CONNOR: Why? What's the point of leaving here and being around other people?

DAWN: Sometimes it's nice to be around other people.

Dawn gets out of bed and puts her clothes on.

CONNOR: Not as nice as being alone with you.

DAWN: We could see my friends. I mean, our friends. And we could dance.

CONNOR: Don't like to dance. [smirks] Do like to watch you dance.

Connor also gets out of bed and gets dressed.

DAWN: [sighs] What happened to the sweet, sensitive guy I fell in love with?

CONNOR: You mean there was someone before me?

DAWN: You've become a wiseass. Who'd you learn that from?

CONNOR: What, I can't have a sense of humor?

DAWN: Of course you can. I just wish it was less obnoxious.

CONNOR: So you're already trying to change me.

DAWN: Bit late for you to notice that.

CONNOR: Now who's being obnoxious?

DAWN: Fine. We're both brats.

CONNOR: Part of why we're great together.

Connor picks up a couple stakes.

DAWN: What are those for? We're not going demon hunting.

CONNOR: I know. But in case we get attacked.

DAWN: Good point. Always gotta be careful in this town.

Buffy comes back into the Bronze.

GILES: Was anything out there?

BUFFY: If it was, it did a real good job of hiding. Where's Spike?

GILES: I thought he was with you.

BUFFY: He wasn't. You mean he's gone?

GILES: Perhaps he went out looking for you. No need to worry.

Lorne comes running towards them.

LORNE: You have a problem. It's Spike.

BUFFY: [looks at Giles] You were saying?

LORNE: One of Angelus's female vampires is in town. I saw her in a bar a few blocks away. Sitting with Spike.

BUFFY: What!?

GILES: Spike is collaborating with the enemy? Can't say I'm entirely shocked.

BUFFY: When you say "sitting with," do you mean next to, or on his lap – just how friendly were they?

GILES: I believe you're looking at this all wrong.

BUFFY: Lorne, take me to this tramp so I can kill her.

GILES: And what about Spike?

BUFFY: I'll deal with him next.

GILES: And when you say deal with, do you mean . . . ? [smiles] Very well then. Off you go.

Spike and Alanna sit across from each other at a small table. Alanna brushes her right foot against his left leg.

ALANNA: I get your whole do-gooder bent. But just because we're on different sides, does that mean we have to be enemies? Life's never that simple.

SPIKE: You're preaching to the bloke who leads the bloody choir, pet.

ALANNA: So I've heard. Who cares about good and evil? Gotta do what makes you happy. Am I right?

SPIKE: That's the rub, Lana. What makes you happy no longer makes me happy.

ALANNA: That's not entirely true. [puts his right hand on her left thigh. Spike doesn't exactly protest. She runs the fingers on her right hand through his hair. Once again, he doesn't object.] So you've lost the blood lust. There are other kinds.

Runs her right hand down the left side of his face, down his chest, and into his lap. Spike takes Lana's left hand in his left hand, pulls it up to his mouth and kisses it. She smiles. Spike doesn't.

SPIKE: Ever get the feeling you're being cheated?

ALANNA: She's ruined you worse than I thought. You don't believe I'm here because I want you? You think I'm just pretending?

SPIKE: So your "master" knows about this little escapade?

ALANNA: Like I said, I do what makes me happy. And you know how easy it is to do stuff behind his back. To get out of the house for a couple hours without him noticing.

SPIKE: Seems pretty risky for you to come here all alone. Keep wondering when your mates will pop out of the woodwork.

ALANNA: Guess I'm fearless. Wonder where I get that from?

SPIKE: [chuckles] That's a bloody good question.

ALANNA: [laughs] Guess it was always inside me, even before I got made. Something else we both have in common.

SPIKE: Still, it does seem quite careless to allow one of your soldiers to put herself in harm's way.

ALANNA: When we're off the clock, he could care less what we do. Or who.

Lana unbuttons the top two buttons on Spike's black button-down shirt, then puts her left hand against his chest.

ALANNA: Just imagine how enraged he'll be the next time he takes me in his arms and smells you all over me.

SPIKE: I can imagine you turning into a big pile of dust.

ALANNA: He wouldn't kill his own troops. Not when he needs us to fight his enemies. Angel's not like that Mole Man Drusilla says her daddy and grandmummy used to work for.

Spike laughs. Dru just meant he lived underground. She didn't mean to compare the Master to Hanz Moleman on the Simpsons, and Spike doesn't make this connection either, though he would certainly appreciate the juxtaposition, given how pathetic he always thought the Master was.

SPIKE: So Dru talks to you about the past.

ALANNA: She talks to us about everything. Dru's not insane. She just sees more. And we understand every word, even when she talks to us without speaking.

SPIKE: You just think you understand her. Truth is sometimes she doesn't even understand herself.

ALANNA: She has made mistakes. Like leaving you, for instance. I get why she was mad at you. But look at all the harm it did. She keeps you, you don't get the chip, you don't get the soul, you're with us, and we kill everything in our path. Clearly she blew it big time. Not that I don't love her and practically worship her. But I look at you and I wonder how could any woman you wanted to sleep with turn you down. Maybe I should ask Buffy. She puts you up on that pedestal and walks away. Why do you stand there?

SPIKE: What can I say? I believe in lost causes. You must believe in lost causes too, since you're working for Angelus.

ALANNA: You two can help but insult each other every chance you get. Like two quarreling brothers.

Buffy looks through the window and sees Spike with Alanna. She sees his hand way up her leg. She sees Alanna' hands on him. She sees Spike smiling at her.

SPIKE: I didn't mean that as a dig at Angelus. I meant that as a word of friendly advice to you. Go back to him, and I promise you'll regret it. He's really not worth dying for.

Spike looks behind Alanna and sees Buffy standing there with a stake in her hand. He wonders what she thought of his last comment about Angel not being worth dying for. She didn't hear it because the bar is crowded and noisy. Lana heard Buffy approaching. When Buffy gets close enough to stake her, Lana grabs the chair she's sitting in, spins it around and swings it at Buffy's head. Buffy ducks. She hits Lana in the face with a right hook. Lana falls down. She kicks Buffy backwards with her right foot and vaults to her feet. Buffy connects with a right spin kick, knocking Alanna through the table Spike and her were sitting at. Buffy pulls her stake back out and leaps on top of Alanna. Some of the men whistle and cheer the hot chick fight on. Alanna blocks the stake thrust and tosses Buffy to her left. She rolls to her right and tries to sweep Spike's legs. He jumps up to avoid this. Alanna stands up behind Spike and kicks him in the back, knocking him into Buffy. Lana races out the rear exit. Buffy and Spike chase after her, but she's out of sight by the time they get outside. Spike follows her scent and runs after her. By the time he sees her, she's speeding away in her car. Spike turns around and looks at Buffy.

SPIKE: Look what you've done. What the bloody hell was that for?

BUFFY: Sorry to bust up your date like that. She was a vampire! Remember, we're supposed to kill them, not play footsy with them.

SPIKE: Look who's talking.

He couldn't resist. She slaps him in the face.

SPIKE: For your information, I was planning to kill her. But I knew that if I tried to do it your way, she'd make a run for it and escape. Looks like you proved me right.

BUFFY: Seduce, then kill. Was that your brilliant plan?

SPIKE: That was only half of it. I was getting information. The sort of stuff I'm sure Lorne and his chums would like to have about their enemies.

BUFFY: How selfless of you. So that means you were only pretending to enjoy it?

SPIKE: You're jealous!

BUFFY: Please.

SPIKE: Don't deny it.

BUFFY: You were using her to try to make me jealous. How sick is that?

SPIKE: I wusn't. I didn't even want you to see her, because I knew you'd make her run away and bollocks the whole thing up. But to be honest, I didn't mind the attention. I'm only human. Well, no I'm not, but you get my point. Sometimes a guy likes to feel appreciated. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to find Lorne and tell him what I learned.

BUFFY: How gullible are you? What makes you think she wouldn't lie to you?

SPIKE: Hubris. Part of being evil is thinking no one can stop you. Figured you would have learned that after all these years.

Spike finds Lorne and wants to talk to him. Lorne backs away.

SPIKE: I wus only trying to help.

LORNE: Catching the flies with honey. How sweet of you. Forgive me for being paranoid and doubting you. I know that having a soul doesn't stop people from knocking me unconscious.

SPIKE: I'm telling the bloody truth. Trust me. How bout I sing for you?

LORNE: I think I made myself clear about that.

SPIKE: Just enough for you to know I'm on your side.

LORNE: Okay. But stop when I tell you.

Spike tries to think of something to sing.

SPIKE: "Early one morning, just as the -"

LORNE: Enough! You're on the up-an-up. As for your relationship with your mother, I'd prefer to remain ignorant.

SPIKE: How much did you see?

LORNE: Mercifully little, thank God. Now spill the beans about that house I used to live in.

Buffy returns to the Bronze. Lindsey has begun his second set.

ANYA: Don't you think he looks sexy in that cowboy hat?

BUFFY: I thought he looked sexy without it.

ANYA: He does.

ANDREW: But it adds an air of outlaw mystery.

ANYA: And unlike every other singer who wears one, he's not doing it to cover up a bald spot.

GILES: Did you take care of it?

BUFFY: She got away. Left town.

GILES: And Spike?

BUFFY: Gathering intell, apparently. He's harmless. I mean, what he did was harmless. Lorne's debriefing him now.

ANYA: Spike? My God! I had no idea. I mean, sure, Lorne's charming and all, but –

BUFFY: Not that kind of debriefing.

ANYA: You mean he's pumping Spike for information?

BUFFY: The same way Xander said he wanted to pump Andrew. [Andrew looks a little shocked. His eyes bug out.]

GILES: Can you please dispense with the single entendres? You're supposed to be the adults, after all.

Rona finally works up the courage to introduce herself to Clarence and hit on him. But as she walks over to him, he turns around and leaves. She heads outside after him.

RONA: Hey wait. I mean, hi.

Clarence turns to his left and sees Rona. Before he can respond, a vampire comes out of nowhere and throws him into the wall. Rona looks up at the Heavens.

RONA: Thank you.

The vampire grabs the terrified Clarence with his left hand and goes to punch him with his right fist. Rona grabs his right wrist from behind, pulls him away from Clarence and throws the startled vampire into the opposite wall in the alley. He lands a left cross to her face. Clarence winces. Rona ducks his right hook and connects with a right kick to his nose. She nails him in the stomach with a left kick and in the chin with a right uppercut. He growls and throws her to the ground. The vampire charges at Clarence. Rona comes at the vampire from his right and stakes him while he's still focusing on Clarence. The vampire turns to dust. Rona looks at Clarence.

RONA: Are you okay? Did he hurt you?

Clarence is trembling.

CLARENCE: He just, he just, y-ya- you know, poof. What the hell just happened?

RONA: Don't worry bout it. I took care of it.

CLARENCE: Thanks, uh, what did you say your name was?

RONA: Rona.

CLARENCE: Very glad to meet you Rona. I'm Clarence.

RONA: Feeling's mutual, Clarence. You'd probably feel safer inside. Wanna dance?

CLARENCE: Okay. Sure.

Rona smiles, takes her damsel's hand and heads back into the Bronze.


	38. Lindsey Charms the Scoobies

[Lindsey finally meets the Scoobies and tells them all about his past and present.,]

Kennedy had Willow. Amanda had Preston. And Rona now had Clarence. Molly was beginning to feel left out. Surely there was a cute boy out there just waiting for her to come and save him. Molly walked up to the balcony and looked around. But the vampires had grown smart enough not to hunt in the club when Buffy was there. This meant the people were safe. It also meant poor Molly was out of luck. Then she saw what looked to her like a fight. One teenage boy – a vampire, she impulsively presumed – was attacking another teenage boy. Actually, Clarke was horsing around with Keith, teasing Keith for backing down to Connor that afternoon. He was playfully showing his friend how he should have handled the situation. Clarke tried to get Keith in a wrestling hold, Keith broke free, Clarke hit him in the right shoulder, pretended to hit him in the face, then pushed him backwards when Keith grabbed Clarke's arms.

Molly hurries over. She hits Clarke in the chest with a round roundhouse kick. The blow knocks him six feet backwards. He flips over a couch and lands on the ground with a thud. Molly turns to Keith.

MOLLY: Are you all right?

For the moment, Keith is too stunned to speak. Clarke stands up, dazed and confused. Molly charges him. He put his hands out and backs up in fear. She realizes he isn't a vampire.

CLARKE: Are you the girl I hooked up with last month at that party in Escondido? No, you're definitely not her. Are you one of her friends? Look, I'm sorry I didn't call her, but I thought we had an understanding.

MOLLY: What the bloody hell are you blathering on about?

KEITH: Good question.

Molly is feeling a little embarrassed.

MOLLY: Look, I'm sorry. I thought you were something else.

CLARKE: It's okay. We're cool.

He quickly gets away from her. And a minute ago he was mocking Keith for being scared of a couple girls. She looks at Keith, all red-faced and mortified.

MOLLY: I'm really am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your friend.

KEITH: He had it coming.

Molly smiles, relieved.

MOLLY: Would you like to dance?

KEITH: Wouldn't wanna risk saying no to you.

Clarke's friends are giving him a hard time about getting decked by a girl.

CLARKE: She blind-sided me. It was a sucker punch.

ROBBIE: Bum rush are not, she did knock you halfway across the room.

CLARKE: I dunno. Maybe she does kick boxing or something. Woulda knocked you on your ass, too.

GENE: She seems much more gentle with Keith.

CLARKE: I didn't do anything to her. We never even met! Why would she come after me like that?

ROBBIE: Girls around here have been acting real funny lately.

Rona and Clarence are dancing.

CLARENCE: What happened to that guy? It was like he disappeared. Did his forehead look swollen to you?

RONA: It's over. Don't worry about it. I took care of it.

Connor and Dawn walk into the Bronze. Connor has his right arm around her shoulders. Dawn holds his right hand in her right hand. They walk past Clarke and his friends. Clarke glares at Connor. Dawn glances at the boys, who take a few steps back.

GENE: When did Dawn go from flaky to scary?

Connor and Dawn walk past the pool table, say hi to Edgar and Lacey. Then they join up with Kit, Elijah Denise and Carlos. They see Clarence with Rona.

DAWN: Rona! You and Clarence? That is so cool! How did you guys meet?

CONNOR: Rona probably saved his life.

Connor and Dawn laugh, as do Kit and Carlos. But they notice Clarence isn't laughing, while Rona is smirking.

CONNOR: Don't sweat it, Clarence. Happens all the time. Just ask Preston.

Preston's nearby, with Amanda.

PRESTON: Ask me what?

CLARENCE: Ya know somethin' Pres, you never told me how it happened.

PRESTON: How what happened?

Clarence goes off to confer in private with his varsity basketball teammate. They whisper to each other.

PRESTON: And then it was gone? Vanished into thin air?

CLARENCE: You too?

PRESTON: I don't believe this. Okay, I didn't believe it then. Just nice to know I wasn't the only one. Did she act like it was no big deal?

CLARENCE: Like she'd done it before.

PRESTON: That's why you shouldn't feel bad. She isn't stronger than you. She just knew something you didn't. Doesn't make you any less of a man.

CLARENCE: You talkin' to me, or to yourself?

PRESTON: Okay, yeah, maybe it was a little embarrassing. Just glad none of you guys saw it.

CLARENCE: I know what you mean. Don't worry. Secret's safe with me.

CARLOS: That is so cool. Just amazing. Clarence is one lucky guy. [Denise looks a little peeved at how nice Carlos is being to Rona.] He's lucky you were there. Otherwise, well, you know.

He smiles at Rona. Denise, who is holding Carlos's hand, starts to squeeze it. Carlos winces.

DENISE: Carlos, can we talk?

CARLOS: Excuse me one moment. What is it, baby?

DENISE: Don't play dumber.

CARLOS: I was just being nice. You thought I was flirting with her?

DENISE: No. I thought you were comin' on to her.

CARLOS: You're buggin'. You know how crazy I am about you.

DENISE: But you'd like me even more if I saved your life?

CARLOS: Well, duh. No, forget that. What I meant was – that's a trick question, right?

Elijah and Kit are surprised to see Keith with Molly. Molly notices them.

MOLLY: Hi Kit.

Keith is rather startled.

KEITH: You two know each other?

ELIJAH: Small world. Well, small town. Say Keith, we're all set on that little ticket matter, right?

KEITH: Forget it.

ELIJAH: That's what I like to hear. [Pats Keith condescendingly on the left shoulder with his right hand.] This is a good guy you've found, Molly. 

Elijah and Kit walk away.

MOLLY: You're friends with Kit? What a coincidence!

Keith is still a little bewildered.

KEITH: You're telling me.

KIT: You're really beginning to take this tough guy thing a little too far.

ELIJAH: If they ever call my bluff, you got my back, right?

KIT: Don't count on it, Eli. I'm not bailing you out of fights you start.

ELIJAH: No need to worry. I may be good at talking myself into trouble; but I'm just as good at talking myself out of trouble.

KIT: Don't I know it.

Lorne puts the key card in and opens the door at the hotel. He's dancing and singing, still happy about his musical triumph in Sunnydale.

LORNE: "Try a little tenderness, a little tenderness. Try, try, try, sock it to me! Try a little tenderness."

Lorne looks at Wes, Gunn, Fred, Faith and Gwen. They're all badly bruised. None of them looks especially happy. Lorne tones down his enthusiasm.

LORNE: Rough night?

GUNN: Angelus was in the zone.

FAITH: Try invincible.

WES: I'd go with inspired. Drusilla clearly had an effect on him.

LORNE: You're all still alive. So he couldn't have been that great.

GWEN: You seem mighty chipper.

LORNE: I killed in Sunnydale. With my singing. At the Bronze.

WES: You performed at that club?

FAITH: No way.

LORNE: Did a little warmup act for Lindsey. The people absolutely loved me. Someone even joked I should run for mayor.

Faith looks down at the floor and appears upset. Wesley understands, and he also looks a little uncomfortable. The others don't notice.

FRED: What was that Buffy Slayer like?

LORNE: Nice girl. Absolutely blown away by Lindsey.

Faith's eyes light up.

FAITH: How blown away?

LORNE: Jaw dropped to the floor blown away.

FAITH: B's hot for Lindsey!

Finally, she has something Buffy might want.

LORNE: She wasn't alone, honey. All the women in that club went gaga the moment he hit the stage and started singing.

FAITH: Even Willow?

LORNE: And her girlfriend.

WES: Girlfriend? Willow's gay?

FRED: I've never seen Lindsey sing. Is he good?

LORNE: With his looks, he doesn't have to be. But he is.

WES: When did Willow become a lesbian?

GUNN: Did you read him?

LORNE: Yes. He's really reformed. Completely on the up-and-up. Though I did sense some megalomania.

WES: He wants to take over the world? Then part of him must still be evil.

LORNE: No, he wants power for the right reasons. That said, there's no such thing as good megalomania. Even if the intentions are good –

WES: The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

GWEN: Sounds like you don't know many evil people.

FAITH: As someone who has been evil, I gotta agree with Gwen.

FRED: Any word on Connor?

LORNE: I saw him. With Dawn. They came late in the show, a little before I left. Gave off a huge love vibe. The kind where two people love each other so much they'll kill anyone who gets between them. A little scary. But, on the plus side, he was happy.

GUNN: Happy, but homicidal?

FRED: That would be an improvement.

LORNE: And Buffy's friends all say he's been really nice to everyone lately.

FRED: Super-nice Connor. Anyone else find that positively terrifying?

Gunn, Wes and Lorne all raise their hands.

After a half-hour of dancing and hanging their friends at the Bronze, Dawn and Connor leave for home. A quarter-mile down the road, both of them hear a scream. It is from an alley a block away They run there and see a vampire holding a terrified woman from behind, about to bite her. Connor rushes the male vampire. He lets go of the woman right before Connor kicks him in the face. Dawn helps the woman up.

DAWN: Are you okay?

NANCY: Never better.

Nancy smiles and goes bumpy. Dawn screams and hits her in the face with a right jab.

DAWN: Connor, it's a setup!

The male and female vampires slowly back away from Dawn and Connor. Now they notice that two vampires came into the alley after them, and that they are surrounded.

CONNOR: You went to all this trouble for us? I'm flattered.

The four vampires pull out aluminum baseball bats.

CONNOR: Okay. Not so flattered.

NANCY: The girl can go.

They'll be too busy beating Connor to death to bother with feeding off Dawn.

CONNOR: But then I'd have to kill all of you by myself.

The vampires look at each other. They can't understand why Connor won't take the opportunity to save this girl from certain death. The four vampires charge at Dawn and Connor from both directions. Connor kicks the vampire in front of him with his right foot, but the vampire behind him strikes Connor in the left knee. The two vampires quickly follow up with blows to the back and the skull. He falls to the ground. Nancy and the other vampire attack Dawn. Nancy strikes her in the ribs. The other one swings for the side of her head. Dawn tries to blocked the blow with her arms, and the bat hits her in the left forearm. She is then hit in the lower back and in her Adam's apple. She also falls.

On the ground, Connor grabs one the bats as it swings towards him. The vampire holds on to the handle, and Connor is able to fling him into concrete wall. When the other vampire swings for Connor, he rolls out of the way. Connor stands up. The vampire who missed Connor when he was on the ground swings for his head. Connor ducks. He kicks the male vampire who is attacking Dawn. Dawn sweeps Nancy's legs. Connor grabs Dawn by the hand and helps her up. The vampire Connor failed to knock down goes for his face. Dawn grabs the barrel of the bat. Connor kicks the vampire in the stomach, punches him on the face and tosses him into a vampire who had just stood up. The vampires now block the path back onto the street they came from, so Connor and Dawn continue running down the alley. Connor gets behind a dumpster and pushes towards the four vampires giving chase. They continue fleeing for home.

Once out of the alley, they turn left and run for two blocks. Then Connor grabs Dawn's hand and turns right, onto a residential side street. Dawn knows this isn't the quickest way to Connor's house, but assumes he must have a reason. With Connor in the lead, they run for another 200 feet, then stop in the middle of the block. The street is lined with two-story stucco houses. Each of the houses is 20 feet wide and situated on a lot 25 feet in width. On one side of each house is an eight foot driveway, which it shares with the neighboring house. On the other side of each house is a two foot-wide alley, which it shares with its other neighbor. Connor ducks into one of these narrow alleys. Dawn follows, unsure of what Connor is up to. The narrow alley reminds Connor of a trick he learned climbing rocks in Quor-toth. He puts his feet against one wall, his hands and back against the other and climbs up between the walls. Dawn quickly finds that this doesn't require vampire powers, and she does the same.

Soon both of them are 15 feet off the ground, facing each other, Connor's feet next the Dawn's head and Dawn's feet next to Connor's head. Dawn is about to ask Connor what they were supposed to do now. Connor puts his right index finger over her lips. He doesn't want her to give away their hiding spot. When Connor pulls out two stakes from his jacket pockets, Dawn finally realizes what his is up to. The vampires had ambushed them. Now they would return the favor. She takes out her stakes and waits, trying to catch her breath without giving away their position. The vampires run up and down the street. One of the them hears breathing between two of the houses. The four vampires move into the alley, baseball bats brandished, ready to finish off their victims. That is, if they could find their victims.

When the four vampires are directly underneath them, Connor and Dawn jump down, a stake in each hand. The vampires are dust before they know what hit them. Dawn breathes a huge sigh of relief. Connor looks at her and smiles. Dawn grabs Connor and kisses him.

DAWN: That was close.

CONNOR: You were great.

DAWN: No. We were great.

They run out into the street and head for home.

Drusilla is in the Hyperion courtyard, sniffing the Jasmine. Angelus comes out of nowhere and sweeps her off her feet. She laughs.

DRU: Peaches to see you awl jolly again.

ANGELUS: You weren't thinking of heading in? The night is still young.

DRU: Back to your old self again. Makes my blood boil with mirth.

Dru purrs and snaps her jaws playfully. Angelus spins her round, then puts her down. He walks out. She gleefully follows.

ANGELUS: Baby, I'm better than my old self.

Drusilla moans happily.

DRU: The stars look lovely.

Angelus glances upwards. With all the lights in the city, you can't see a single star. Angelus laughs. Dru hasn't changed one bit.

The show has just ended. Buffy is wrangling the Potentials, making sure everyone is present and accounted for. Suddenly some of the Potentials' eyes get real big and they look surprised. Lindsey is walking over to them. He has on what he finished the concert with – blue jeans and a sweat-soaked black sleeveless t-shirt. Buffy quickly turns around and is startled to see Lindsey standing a mere five feet in front of her. She smiles nervously.

LINDSEY: I was wondering if you wanted to come backstage.

Buffy stands open-mouth in stunned silence. Anya gasps. Spike gets right up in Lindsey's face and looks down at him.

LINDSEY: Settle down, Spike.

Spike moves back, surprised Lindsey knows his name.

LINDSEY: I think you might have misunderstood me.

ANYA: You mean you weren't propositioning Buffy for quick groupie sex?

Lindsey laughs for a few seconds. Buffy begins to feel strangely insulted.

LINDSEY: Lorne didn't tell any of you who I was? My history with Angel?

BUFFY: History? How could you - ?

LINDSEY: Oh boy. This will take a while. I'm gonna change. All of you are welcome to come by in five minutes.

Lindsey walks away. Everyone is silent and confused for a few seconds.

ANYA: Now that was entirely unexpected.

WILLOW: Lorne's good friends with Angel. Lindsey's good friends with Lorne.

GILES: You think Lindsey might be one of Angel's friends?

SPIKE: I'm liking this guy less and less.

XANDER: Pretty boy doesn't look like much of a demon fighter.

GILES: Go find out his story. See if he has any information which might help us. I'll take the girls back home.

The Potentials pout and whine.

GILES: I'm sorry. But it's very late. Andrew, you can drive the other automobile.

ANDREW: But it's not past my bedtime! And I wanted to learn the mystery man's secrets.

Giles, Andrew and the Potentials walk out of the Bronze.

ROSE: Did you get a look at those big blue eyes?

MADARI: It was like I could swim in them.

AMANDA: I saw you with Prashant. Did you save his life?

MADARI: No. I went over and talked to him.

ROSE: I did the same with Eric. You don't need to use violence to get a guy to like you.

MOLLY: I know. But violence makes it so much easier.

DAWN: Wow. That was . . . Wow.

CONNOR: That was the best.

Connor lies to Dawn's right. He starts kissing her neck and puts his arms her. He looks elated. She looks a little worried.

DAWN: Was it the best because of that vampire ambush?

CONNOR: It did add to the excitement.

DAWN: That's the problem.

CONNOR: What? Problem how?

DAWN: We could be tempted to make a habit out of risking our lives to, you know, add to the excitement. I don't want to turn our relationship into an extreme sport. Our lives are dangerous enough already.

CONNOR: That's not why it was exciting. Danger's not sexy. It's ordinary. Normal. It was exciting because we were in it together. We were fighting for each other. Reminded me how much I love you. How much you mean to me.

Dawn rolls onto her right side and kisses Connor.

DAWN: Now there's the sweet, sensitive guy I fell in love with.

Connor runs his right hand over Dawn's stomach. They both smile.

CONNOR: How did you get these scars?

Dawn stops smiling and lies on her back. Connor remains on his left side, facing her.

DAWN: Its where they cut me when they tried to use my blood to open the portal.

CONNOR: It's amazing if you think about it. Only thing keeping the world from ending was your skin. Your smooth, precious, wonderful skin.

Connor starts kissing Dawn's stomach. She closes her eyes and smiles. Then he slowly goes lower. She opens her eyes her face lights with a mixture of surprise and exultation.

Lindsey explains who he is to Buffy, Spike, Willow, Anya and Xander.

BUFFY: You WERE evil, but you're not anymore?

ANYA: No, he worked for an evil enterprise. There's a difference.

SPIKE: You were only following orders. Gee, never heard that one before.

LINDSEY: I not going to defend myself or come up with excuses. Can't make my sins go away, and there's no point wasting my life wallowing in guilt. Ain't that right, Spike?

He knows Spike will appreciate the Angel dig.

XANDER: But you were only Angel's arch-enemy. So it wasn't like you were hurting innocent people. You were hurting Angel.

LINDSEY: That was only one of many assignments. None of which I'm proud of.

BUFFY: But the important thing is that you walked away and chose to become a better man.

Spike doesn't like Buffy's choice of words.

LINDSEY: Ya'al are awfully understanding.

WILLOW: We've all been evil at one time or another. Except for Buffy.

LINDSEY: I've heard this town can have that effect on people. Speaking of which, how has Connor been?

ANYA: Formerly evil. In other words, good.

WILLOW: For the last 48 hours.

BUFFY: He tried to kill me.

LINDSEY: Why did he do that?

BUFFY: Because his evil, blood-sucking mommy told him to. I mean, a fake version of his evil, blood-sucking mommy. Not that his real mom wouldn't have said the same thing.

LINDSEY: How does Connor feel about his mother?

SPIKE: Acts like he loves her. Got real steamed when he found out Angel staked her. Couldn't understand why Angel left her for Buffy, which of course he didn't, but that's not how Connor saw it. Definitely a momma's boy.

Lindsey grins.

SPIKE: Why do you care about Darla, anyway?

Lindsey takes a few seconds to respond. He's trying to anticipate their reactions to his news.

LINDSEY: I resurrected her. [absolute shock from the Scoobies] Not me, personally. I didn't do the magic. But I headed the program which brought her back to life.

Buffy's image of Lindsey has been tarnished.

BUFFY: So it's your fault Connor was born.

LINDSEY: That was an entirely unforeseen and unintended development.

SPIKE: Wait just a bloody minute. You're Baby Blue! Drusilla told me all about you. You were madly in love with her!

BUFFY: Drusilla!??

SPIKE: No. Darla.

BUFFY: And since a crazy woman told you this, it must be true.

LINDSEY: He's right. I was in love with Darla. When she was a human being. 

SPIKE: Nice try, Baby Blue. You still loved her after she became a vampire. Practically begged her to sire you.

Finally, Spike had some dirt to use against Lindsey.

LINDSEY: You know all about embarrassing romantic desperation, don't you Spike? LIke the balcony scene at that hotel in Valparaiso. You remember, when she dropped the squid on your head? And we both know that's not even close to being the most humiliating part of the story.

Spike shuts up. Apparently Lindsey had some dirt on him.

BUFFY: Why did you bring her back in the first place?

LINDSEY: To make Angel become evil again.

XANDER: I thought you wanted to kill Angel?

LINDSEY: My superiors had a sudden change of heart.

ANYA: So your intention was to make Angel want to sleep with her, but instead you wanted to sleep with her. Sucks to be you. Unless you also had sex with her. Did you?

LINDSEY: When she was human.

WILLOW: So you could be Connor's father. A human getting pregnant and carrying the baby to term after becoming a vampire – okay, it's implausible – but maybe less implausible that a vampire becoming pregnant.

BUFFY: But if you were the father, Connor would be hot. Course, if Angel was the father, he should also be hot. I don't think we really know who Connor's father is.

Buffy knows better than this, but she can always hope.

XANDER: What exactly are you? Musician, evil lawyer, demon fighter, amputee. It's getting very confusing.

LINDSEY: I'm a lawyer. A non-evil lawyer.

XANDER: Those exist?

WILLOW: If there can be non-evil vampires, why not non-evil lawyers?

LINDSEY: And I'm not really a demon fighter. Sure, I've fought them. Just last night, and the night before that. But I'm more of a behind-the-scenes guy. I'm on the board at Next Defense, a company that makes equipment, hires out demon-fighting mercenaries. That's why I came to LA. Thought Angel's friends could use an army to back them up while the lights were out.

BUFFY: Army guys fighting demons. Sounds strangely familiar. And not in a good way.

LINDSEY: Some of the guys used to be based here. Graham, who led one of my teams, told me a thing or two about the Initiative. I've come across some dumb plans in my time, but that one just defies explanation. Almost dragged the company down with it.

BUFFY: They were involved?

LINDSEY: Made the mind-control microchips.

SPIKE: You're the wankers who put that bloody chip in my brain!?

LINDSEY: You still got one?

SPIKE: Had it removed a few months back.

LINDSEY: That must mean you were the vampire Graham said the Pentagon wasted $2 million helping. Interesting. Just for the record, they weren't designed for demons. They were intended for humans, to de-program assassins and keep them from going psychotic and killing innocents. Government ordered a bunch. Company couldn't understand why they wanted to control demon behavior. Seemed so much easier to kill the demons. Also, the product was still in the early stages of development. All they had ready was a crude prototype. Government was willing to pay a lot, so they sold em. If they malfunctioned, it would just hurt some demons, so it didn't matter if the product didn't work right. The current models are much more sophisticated. They can determine intent. Allows you to hurt people in self-defense, and to attack bad people. Plus they last a good 20 years. We only started human testing six months back. You're really lucky the one they put in you didn't make your a vegetable a long time ago. Hell, if you were human, you could have sued us for product liability. I might have been able to get you a $5 million settlement.

SPIKE: That's all? I endured some bloody awful pain and suffering.

WILLOW: Not to mention psychological trauma and loss of self-esteem from not being a able to kill people.

SPIKE: Damn right. Wait. You're being sarcastic and making fun of me.

BUFFY: Just a shot-in-the-dark question, but do you happen to know a soldier by the name of Riley Finn?

LINDSEY: The name's familiar. Finn. Finn? Where have I head that? I know! Do you mean Sam's husband?

XANDER: You know Sam?

LINDSEY: We tried to hire her for a commando operation. She wouldn't sign on unless we also hired her husband. It was a one-person job, so we got someone else. People in human resources called him Yoko Finn. [Spike laughs. He loves the Riley-bashing.] You know the guy?

BUFFY: We used to date.

LINDSEY: Makes sense. From what I've heard, he likes a woman who can dominate him. Can't say I blame the guy.

Lindsey smiles. Buffy smiles back. She thinks he's talking about her. He isn't.

ANYA: This is a private corporation which makes money fighting demons. How much money?

LINDSEY: Last year? $260 million gross. $40 million in pre-tax earnings.

ANYA: See Buffy. I told you that you could charge for Slaying.

LINDSEY: The military's been pulling back. They have other, more pressing priorities. So the private sector's filled the void. But almost all the work is overseas, with foreign governments footing the bill. What happened in LA was an aberration. 

XANDER: They still use those zap guns?

LINDSEY: They do. But it's a secondary weapon. Wooden fragmentation grenades and napalm canisters do most of the killing. That's how you vaporize a couple dozen vampires real quick. Soldiers are still rather tentative about fighting vamps hand-to-hand. That's why they were impressed with Gunn and Fred and Wesley, with how fearless they were.

XANDER: They were impressed with Wesley?

BUFFY: Wesley? Fearless? [laughs] There must be some mistake.

LINDSEY: I know. He's changed a lot. Become a real-life tough guy. Even Faith respects him. I think he goes a bit overboard with the roguish persona. But he can fight. They all can.

BUFFY: Faith respects Lindsey. That's definitely something I never expected to hear.

SPIKE: Now that the sun's back, why are you still hanging round LA?

LINDSEY: I'm working with them. Actually, they're kind of working for me. Set up a new base for them at the hotel where I'm staying. They've been doing a good job of containing Angelus. Especially with Faith helping out. Now SHE really impressed the soldiers. Graham was just crazy about her. And he wasn't alone.

XANDER: Faith is working for you?

LINDSEY: No. Definitely not. Our relationship is more personal than professional.

Buffy looks stunned. She tries to spin it.

BUFFY: You slept with Faith. Had a fling. These things happen. Especially with her.

LINDSEY: It's more than that.

BUFFY: What?

LINDSEY: It's not a fling. At least not for me. I'm not that type of guy. Course I can't be sure how she feels. Faith's pretty guarded.

BUFFY: You . . . love . . . Faith? Why?

ANYA: Obviously Lindsey goes for women who used to be evil. By the way, do you know that I was a Vengeance Demon? Anyaka, the scourge of men for 11 centuries.

LINDSEY: Did you work for Lupernius?

ANYA: No one ever calls him by his first name. Made him very mad and violent.

LINDSEY: I did. He was afraid of my some of my superiors. But he got mighty steamed when I tried to hire away some of his demons. Bellowed on-and-on about honor and tradition and that Vengeance Demons couldn't be used as assassins. Real pompous. I think his real problem was that we were going to pay them a lot better than he ever would have.

ANYA: How much better?

LINDSEY: Low six figures per job. Maybe seven figures, depending on the hit. 

ANYA: I sometimes wondered how much a Vengeance Demon could fetch on the open market.

LINDSEY: Eventually he vowed to immolate every last one of his girls before he'd let a single one of them work for us. For a guy who likes to punish men, he came off as a real misogynist.

BUFFY: I noticed that, too. Very ironic, wouldn't you say?

Spike's disgusted to see Buffy flirting with Lindsey. She has trouble accepting the fact that a gorgeous non-evil man could prefer Faith to her.

ANYA: Who exactly did you work for? It's just hard for me to imagine a mortal man talking that way to De Hofren and not getting eviscerated on the spot.

LINDSEY: It was hard to tell. They liked it that way. I think the ultimate leaders were a group of extremely powerful Lower Beings. The Senior Partners were the only humans who knew who was in charge.

SPIKE: What was the bloody point of it all? A bunch of lawyers not doing any, you know, legal work. Too busy failing to foil the plans of their enemies to be making any money. Why go to all the trouble of setting the whole thing up?

LINDSEY: They're planning an apocalypse.

WILLOW: These days, who isn't?

LINDSEY: I mean a real one. Not the fake ones you have here.

BUFFY: Excuse me! As someone who died twice saving the world, I have to say they seemed pretty real to me.

LINDSEY: Im sorry. I didn't mean to – Fake was the wrong word. I meant doomed. Our psychics said nothing active in Sunnydale would destroy the world. I guess they knew that in the end you would always win, that you were too good to ever lose. [Buffy smiles. Lindsey charmed his way out of that one.] After all, why would Wolfram & Hart go to the trouble of planning an apocalypse when someone stood a good chance of beating them to the punch?

WILLOW: Do they have a launch date?

LINDSEY: November, 2004. Been in the works for a millennia. Hellmouth's not supposed to be a factor by then.

BUFFY: You mean there's someone who's sure we're going to beat the First Evil? Okay, that someone is evil, but it's a start. Do you happen to know anything about the First?

WILLOW: It doesn't leave much of a paper trail. Really could use all the help we can get.

LINDSEY: The Firm didn't investigate other evil groups. Arrogance, I suppose. Think I once heard a Senior Partner mention something called the First in passing, and another Partner laughed. Like he thought the First was all head and no cattle. Don't know anything more than that. Sorry. [checks his watch] I probably should be heading back. If you want you guys can head over to the airport with me in the limo.

ANYA: Did you say limo?

WILLOW: What airline flies out of Sunnydale at this hour?

LINDSEY: I have my own plane.

XANDER: You mean like a little Cessna?

LINDSEY: Gulf Stream.

SPIKE: The company lets you borrow it?

LINDSEY: No. I own it.

ANYA: You have your own jet! I guess being evil really can pay.

Lindsey walks outside. The others follow.

LINDSEY: Actually, I made all my money after I left the Firm and went legit.

ANYA: How much money? Obviously in the tens of millions for you to take your own jet on a 90 mile trip.

SPIKE: If we go with you, how are we supposed to get home from the bloody airport?

LINDSEY: Limo's yours. Rented for the rest of the night.

He gets in, checks his voice mail from work and waits for them to decide if they're going to take him up on the offer.

XANDER: Did he perform a spell to fool all of us? Young, good-looking, filthy rich musician-slash-lawyer-slash-demon fighter on some mission of redemption.

WILLOW: It is a little too perfect.

BUFFY: Maybe we should check to see if he has that mark Jonathan had.

ANYA: If it is all a spell, shouldn't there be a swimsuit calendar?

SPIKE: Perhaps I'm alone in not seeing this bloke as some sort of ideal of perfection.

BUFFY: Of course he's not perfect. It's obvious he has a hideous taste in women.

XANDER: So do we take the limo?

ANYA: I don't see any reason why we shouldn't.

BUFFY: The last time I got into a limo I was hunted down by a group of hired killers.

WILLOW: You think this whole thing could be an extremely elaborate trap?

SPIKE: That settles it. I'm getting in. Be nice to end the evening with a spot of violence.

The five of them pile into the stretch limo. Lindsey sits in back on the right. To his left is Willow. Anya and Xander sit along the side in front of Willow. Xander's happy to discover the car has satellite television, and he flips through the channels. Buffy and Spike sit at the far end across from Willow and Lindsey. Spike looks through the mini-bar. He's happy to find Guiness in the fridge. Lindsey's cell phone starts ringing.

LINDSEY: Hello? [He is expecting Angel's demon-fighting friends from LA, and is disappointed to discover that it is not them.] Senator Edwards. Isn't it a little late for you to be calling me? Yes, I know you're having a fundraiser in Los Angeles tomorrow night. Sorry, I'm busy. Yes, I do consider you a friend. No, I wasn't snubbing you at Hilton Head in January. I just don't play golf. Yes, I am aware every trial lawyer in the state is backing you, but I've always been a maverick. No, I haven't given money to either of them. I'm still uncommitted. Sorry John. [hangs up]

WILLOW: What was that?

LINDSEY: Nothing. Presidential candidate hitting me up for money. Politics just isn't on my radar screen at the moment.

ANYA: What about at another moment?

LINDSEY: I have given some thoughts to running for state Attorney General one day. Scruggs says he'd endorse me when he leaves that post to run for governor. Couple state party officials believe I'd be perfect for a Senate run against Lott in '08. But I think that's over-reaching.

XANDER: And how would getting all this power help your quest for redemption?

LINDSEY: I'm not on a quest for redemption. Wouldn't do me any good.

AMANDA: When Prashant asked who you were, what did you tell him?

MADARI: Nothing serious. He didn't seem to care. Funny thing is, we're both here because of the Hellmouth. He used to live in Sunnyvale.

MOLLY: That's confusing. It sounds just like Sunnydale.

MADARI: The two towns couldn't be more different, according to him. His dad's from Hyderabad. Computer science engineer, of course. Last year his start-up went belly-up. Mum's a trauma surgeon. There's a big demand for them in this town. Local hospitals pay top dollar.

GILES: Fascinating. She's probably treated dozens of victims of demon attacks and not even known it.

After dropping Lindsey off at the airport, the Scoobies head for home in the limo.

WILLOW: It's so tragic.

ANYA: I know.

BUFFY: Isn't there something we can do? Willow, can't you rescue his soul?

WILLOW: Right now, it's with him. The problem is it's marked for Hell after he dies. And I don't know of any human magics which can liberate a soul from the depths of Hell. That's like playing God.

ANYA: But you've played God plenty of times!

WILLOW: Okay, it's more like being God. Which I can't do.

BUFFY: He was young. He made a mistake. He didn't know what he was getting himself into. He's forsaken evil. That has to count for something.

SPIKE: Think I made that same argument several times last year. You were pretty sure that in my case it didn't count for a bloody thing.

BUFFY: Spike, please. This is completely different.

SPIKE: You're right. He CHOSE to become evil. While he had a soul.

XANDER: Doesn't mean he can't get a second chance. It's not like he hasn't suffered. Angel did cut off his hand.

SPIKE: I forgot. He was the enemy of your enemy. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve another chance. I'm not even saying he's a bad guy.

ANYA: You're just jealous because Buffy cares more about his fate than she ever did about yours.

BUFFY: Anya, that's ridiculous!

ANYA: I meant before he got his soul back.

WILLOW: Lindsey's case is tragic in a whole other way. No matter how many good deeds he does, he'll still burn for eternity. He walks the earth a doomed man.

Lindsey enters his hotel room. Faith is sitting on the bed, watching television. He sees that she's more bruised than usual.

LINDSEY: Almost feel guilty for not getting beat up tonight.

FAITH: Heard you were wicked popular in Sunnydale.

LINDSEY: They were easy to please.

He gets on the bed.

LINDSEY: You had sex with Xander?

FAITH: Told you all my other conquests were losers.

LINDSEY: I know. But Xander.

FAITH: Never said those seven minutes were one of the highlights of my life. You get to meet B?

LINDSEY: Pretty sure she's jealous of you.

FAITH: Really.

Faith's eyes light up. She puts her hands under Lindsey's shirt and takes it off.

LINDSEY: She looked pretty crestfallen when I said I was with you. Like she thought a guy wanting you instead of her was a violation of Natural Law.

FAITH: You're tellin' me B had the hots for you?

LINDSEY: Sometimes people want something only because they can't have it.

They grin at each other. Faith laughs.

FAITH: What a waste.

Faith pulls Lindsey towards her and kisses him.

The limo drops the Scoobies off at home. Anya says a few words to the driver. They walk towards the front door.

BUFFY: Admit it. You're jealous of him.

SPIKE: Bollocks. I'm jealous of you're reaction to him. Least I'm man enough to admit it. Unlike yourself.

BUFFY: I just can't understand why he slept with Faith. She only sleeps with losers.

XANDER: Hey!

BUFFY: I mean men she believes to be losers. Incorrectly, in your case.

ANYA: From what I've seen, I'd say she has exquisite taste in men.

They enter the house.

GILES: You've been gone a long while. How was Lindsey?

ANDREW: Who is Lindsey?

BUFFY: Well. Were to begin.

ANYA: He used to be an evil lawyer who was Angel's arch-nemesis. He resurrected Darla, then fell in love with her. Currently he's in love with Faith. And he's good. He's a good lawyer/demon fighter/rock star. And he's obscenely rich.

ANDREW: He was evil? Like me! I told you I should have stayed to meet him. Obviously we're kindred souls.

WILLOW: For your sake, let's hope not.

GILES: Can someone run that by me again, with copious details, explanations and – if at all possible – footnotes?

WILLOW: I'll take it from the top.

ANDREW: I just love a good bedtime story.

AMANDA: Buffy, why are all the hot guys you know either evil or formerly evil?

SPIKE: Why thank you.

BUFFY: That's not . . . entirely true. Is it?

XANDER: What about me?

ANYA: Can I see you outside?

XANDER: Wait a minute. They didn't answer my question.

ANYA: I have.

Xander thinks a few seconds. Then he looks surprised when he realizes what she's hinting at. He heads out the door with her.

ANYA: I told the chauffeur to wait for us.

XANDER: Where are we going?

ANYA: Does it matter?

XANDER: You want to, in there, with me, now?

ANYA: We obviously have strong yet unfocused feelings for each other. Both of us enjoyed our previous bout of makeup sex. I found it very cathartic. Clearly we need to continue the healing.

XANDER: Are you saying you want to get back together?

Anya hits Xander's left shoulder with her right fist. He grabs it and winces.

ANYA: Have you been listening!? I want to get you out of my system. Put you behind me once and for all. Otherwise we'll be stuck with this sexual tension forever, end up like Buffy and Spike, confused and repressed and hopelessly stalemated. Do you want that to happen? Now get in.

He does. The car heads for the Pacific Coast Highway.

XANDER: Would that make this breakup sex instead of makeup sex? Or is it both?

ANYA: Anyone ever told you that you think too much?

XANDER: No . . . Hey, thanks.

NEXT: Connor returns to Los Angeles, meets Faith and Lindsey, then catches up with Cordy and Angelus.


	39. Connor Comes Home

Connor says goodbye to Dawn and leaves Sunnydale, but not before getting a visit from FE Holtz. When he gets to LA, Connor is met by Faith and the two of them are attacked by a powerful and mysterious demon. Connor meets Lindsey and sees Fred, Wes, Gunn and Lorne, who are shocked by how different he is. Then he returns to his old apartment, where he gives Cordelia the dissing of a lifetime.

Dawn and Connor hold hands as they walk towards the high school.

DAWN: It's all been such a blur. Like we were all alone in this wonderful cocoon, away from the real world, and now I have to go back, and it's cold and hard and lonely and boring, except when it's scary. Sure, it was like that before. But now it seems so much worse, cause I know it can be so much better.

CONNOR: Isn't that good? Knowing it can be better? Knowing it will be better?

DAWN: When did you become an optimist?

CONNOR: I thought you were one. What about what you said this morning?

Flashback to an hour ago. The two of them are lying in bed.

DAWN: Too bad it's morning already.

CONNOR: It was nice seeing you in the sunlight.

DAWN: This is nice. Holding you. Feeling your heart beat. You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met.

CONNOR: How would you know? You never cut me open.

Dawn laughs.

DAWN: I was speaking in metaphor.

CONNOR: Oh.

DAWN: Definitely a foreign language in your case. You have such a big heart, such a kind heart. When you hurt people, that wasn't really you. You're not a killer, or a monster, or a freak. You're an amazing human being, full of passion and love. You just needed someone to prove that to you, to make you feel something besides pain and anger.

Return to the present.

DAWN: That's why it hurts. We won't have that when we wake up tomorrow morning. Can't you play along? I'm trying to go for poignant agony, and you're muddying it up with your hopeful optimism.

CONNOR: Can't miss you yet. You're right here. But it will hurt. It should. This is new for me. Never had anything to lose before.

DAWN: You better call.

CONNOR: Guess I could learn to use a phone. Doesn't look too hard.

DAWN: This from the guy who said he got thumb cramps last summer from playing too much Tetris on his Gameboy. Sometimes I wonder how much of your noble savage act is real and how much is a put on.

CONNOR: Im serious. Never had anyone I wanted to call.

They stop in front of the school and look at each other.

DAWN: Guess this is it.

Dawn puts her right hand up to Connor's face.

DAWN: I really gonna miss seeing this face.

She hugs him. He holds her close.

DAWN: I know we just met, like, last week, but I love you so much.

CONNOR: Love you too, Dawn. Always.

They look each other in the eyes for a few seconds, then kiss. Neither of them wants the moment to end, and it's a little more than a minute before they stop. After their lips part Dawn keeps her eyes closed for a couple seconds. When she opens them, Connor is gone.

Connor heads home, grabs his stuff, then goes over to the railroad tracks.

HOLTZ: Going back to Angel. Just like the last time I saw you.

Connor turns to his right and sees Holtz.

CONNOR: You're not real.

HOLTZ: Then why are you talking to me, son?

CONNOR: That's not how he looked.

HOLTZ: You're half-right. This is not how I looked the last time you returned to Los Angeles. But it is exactly how I looked when you were a baby. Don't you remember any of that? How I cared for you, kept you safe from harm. It's strange, but you've been hurt more as an adult on earth than you ever were as a child on Quor Toth. What does that tell you, son?

CONNOR: That you did a lousy job preparing me.

HOLTZ: Nonsense. I told you Angelus would return. I told you it was only a matter of time before Angel lost his soul and started killing again. Was I wrong?

CONNOR: Are you disappointed because I haven't killed him? You're the one who didn't kill him when you had the chance. What a hypocrite.

HOLTZ: I wanted you to learn from my mistakes, son. By failing to kill Angelus, I allowed my wife and children to be murdered. Please don't make that same mistake.

CONNOR: How could I? Don't have a family.

HOLTZ: You have Dawn. Think of how you would feel if he did something to her. Imagine if you lost her forever. Then you can begin to understand how Angelus made me feel.

CONNOR: Leave me alone already. I didn't choose to be his son. I didn't choose to have you raise me. But I did choose to believe you when you lied to me. I loved you, and the last thing you ever did was trick me. Get lost.

HOLTZ: So now you think I'm really Holtz?

CONNOR: More fun that way. Wish you were. Then I could ask him if he felt bad about trying to trick me with his death. Holtz was a good man. He should have known he was doing wrong. Like to hear him say that.

HOLTZ: Trying to use the First Evil for therapy. That's a first. Pardon the pun. I'm beginning the sound like a Slayer. [goes to a raspy voice] The horror. The horror. [returns to his normal voice] You're not laughing. Ask Angel to explain. I'm sure he'll find it amusing. That is if he ever comes back. How long are you willing to let him go on killing before you decide to take him out for the good of humanity? A month? A year? How many innocent people have to die while you wait to get your daddy back?

CONNOR: I don't take orders no more. Not from anyone.

The First turns from Holtz into Buffy.

BUFFY: I understand. I also had trouble getting up the courage to kill Angel. I loved him so much. [the First is trying to exploit Connor's disgust with the idea of B/A] Have you ever wondered why Angel didn't lose his soul when he conceived you? How come he could have that moment of Perfect Happiness with me, but not with your own mother?

CONNOR: Why you talking to me bout other people's problems? Get lost. Or don't. Whatever. You can't hurt me.

The First turns into a monster and envelopes Connor. It looks like it's going to swallow him. Then it disappears. Connor's not impressed.

Dawn sits in Math class. She can't concentrate. Halfway through the period she walks out of the room and leaves the building. She races over to the railroad tracks. From 100 yards away, she sees Connor on the other side. He is looking to his right, watching the approaching train. He does not see Dawn. The train carriages rush between them. A minute later, they all have passed. Connor is gone. Dawn heads back to school. She goes to see Buffy, who's cleaning out her desk. Robin hired her, and with him gone, the unqualified Buffy doesn't really have a place on the Sunnydale faculty.

DAWN: Connor's gone. He's going home.

Buffy pauses for a few seconds.

BUFFY: I'm sorry. What I mean is, I'm sorry for you. I know this must be hard, and I'm here for you if need someone to talk to.

DAWN: Wasn't expecting that.

BUFFY: Did you think I would celebrate?

DAWN: It wasn't exactly a secret that you wanted him away from me.

BUFFY: I want what's best for you. I don't know what that is right now, but I know that you'll miss him. And I don't see the point in making you feel any worse. Gloating just wouldn't be very big-sisterly of me.

DAWN: Thanks. For understanding. I won't force you to listen to me go on-and-on about my feelings for Connor. Not right now.

Dawn heads off to class.

It's 8:35. The phone is ringing in Lindsey's hotel room. He reaches across the bed, over Faith, and tosses the phone to the ground. The receiver comes loose, so the ringing stops. Faith wakes up. They're both bleary-eyed.

FAITH: Who was that?

LINDSEY: Too early to care. Let's go back to sleep.

FAITH: Strange how I want to stay here with you.

LINDSEY: That don't sound like a very nice compliment.

FAITH: Never been a very nice girl. And I'm not known for sticking around in the morning. Never stuck around for several mornings. This is definitely new territory for me.

LINDSEY: I'm convenient. And it doesn't hurt that I'm paying for your place.

FAITH: It's not like I have nowhere else to go. I could always crash at Gwen's. Or I could just blow you off and take another room on this floor.

LINDSEY: Then why don't you?

FAITH: Dunno. Maybe I like you. Or respect you. Or, I don't know, something else. Like I said, new territory for me.

Lindsey and Faith start kissing. Someone is banging very loudly on the door. After about ten seconds, Lindsey realizes this person isn't going away. He gets out of bed, puts on his bathrobe and walks to the door. He opens it.

LINDSEY: Wesley. This better be important.

WES: Connor is on his way home.

LINDSEY: That qualifies.

FAITH: What is it?

LINDSEY: Connor's coming.

FAITH: When?

LINDSEY: Apparently now.

Faith gets up. Puts on a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top. She walks over to the door. Wesley isn't very uncomfortable seeing Faith in so casual a setting. He prefers seeing as little as possible of other's private lives.

FAITH: He's coming here?

WES: I don't believe he knows where we are.

LINDSEY: Who's bringing him back?

WES: He's traveling on his own.

FAITH: I'm gonna take a quick shower, then I'll go off to meet this kid.

WES: How will you know where to find him?

FAITH: I'm sure he's coming the same way I did. And if so, I'll know him when I see him. Sit tight. I'll bring Connor straight here. This might be worth getting out of bed for.

Connor tosses his duffel bag down leaps out of a freight car going 30 miles per hour. He falls on a pile of rocks and rolls through them before stopping on the pavement. Connor looks up and sees Faith. She's holding out her right hand.

FAITH: Bet you hoped it was gonna stop. I know I did. Hey Connor. I'm Faith.

Connor takes her hand and she helps him up. He runs over, grabs his bag, then takes a good look at her. He's heard the name.

CONNOR: Faith. You're a Slayer?

FAITH: Guilty as charged.

CONNOR: You're a lot prettier than the other Slayer.

Faith smiles and laughs.

FAITH: They were wrong. You really aren't like your old man.

CONNOR: Bout time someone noticed.

FAITH: I'll take you to the others. They'll be glad to see you.

CONNOR: That's new. You sure?

They continue walking parallel to the tracks. A man in a dark suit wearing a black fedora passes by them. His eyes turn yellow as he pulls out a 15 inch-long dagger in his left hand and an 18 inch-long curved falcata sword in his right hand. Connor hears the sword brush against the attacker's belt buckle as he pulls it out. He turns around. The attacker swings for his neck with the sword. Connor ducks, but the man knocks him down with a left roundhouse kick. He tries to stab Faith in the stomach with his dagger. She moves to her right, grabs his left arm and throws him to the ground.

FAITH: This would also be new.

The attacker gets to his feet. Faith and Connor back up. The sword's blade flares out to four inches in width, and the dagger's blade is three inches wide. The weapons could cut through either of them like a meat cleaver. The man swings the sword in his right hand, keeping Faith and Connor at bay. He puts his left hand behind his back and goes after Faith, who stands to Connor's left. As he moves towards her, slashing his sword, Connor hits him in the face with a right hook. The attacker pulls out his left hand out from behind his back and stabs Connor in the stomach with his dagger. Connor grabs the man's left wrist with both his hands and stops the dagger when it is an inch into his skin. Distracted by Connor, Faith is able to kick the man in the face, knocking him backwards. He knocks Connor down with a leaping right kick, then he ducks Faith's kick and hits her in the stomach and chin with his left foot. Connor charges him from behind, but the attacker decks him with a flying right roundhouse kick. Finally, he can focus on Faith. He comes at her slashing with both weapons. She backs up. Aside from his bright yellow eyes, he looks like an ordinary human.

FAITH: Thought your kind only came out at night. What kind are you, anyway?

His hands are extremely fast, making it tough for Faith to attack him without getting stabbed. She arches her back to avoid a sword slash and lands a right backflip kick to the attacker's face. When her feet are on the ground again, Faith notices a large gash on the outside of her right calf muscle. The man has forgotten about Connor. After all, he came to kill Faith. Connor runs to his bag, which is 30 feet behind the man. He pulls out two Bringer knives and hurls them at the attacker. One goes through the back of his skull. The other one goes into the middle of his back, right where his heart should be. The man turns around and charges Connor, who is more than a little surprised that the guy is still alive. He closes in on Connor very quickly. Connor backs up towards the railroad tracks. He glances to his right and sees a passenger train approaching. When the man is close enough to slice Connor open with his heavy cutlery, Connor dives across the tracks, beating the train by a few feet. Faith runs at the distracted attacker and nails him in the head with a flying left kick. The blow knocks him into the side of the moving train. His spins around several times and falls to the ground, but quickly returns to his feet. Faith kicks him in the mouth before he can try to stab her. He staggers backwards. When he regains his balance and prepares to attack, he notices Faith is not in front of him. She snuck around behind him and pulled the two daggers out of his body. The man spins around, trying to slash Faith with his sword. She ducks. He keeps spinning, and knocks her down the next time around with a right kick. She gets up, brandishing her new-found weapons, which are formidable, though less formidable than his.

FAITH: Let's see how you like it.

The attacker tries a straight right kick. Faith backs up out of the way. She takes a step forward, planning to go on the attack, but is held back by his slashing swords. The attacker smiles as he rubs the blades of his weapons against one another and laughs under his breath.

FAITH: What's so funny?

He reaches forward with the falcata in his right hand. Faith blocks it with the dagger in her left hand. He thrusts his left arm out and rubs his dagger's blade about the blade of the dagger in her right hand. Clearly, he finds something amusing about her choice of weaponry. Now he attacks in earnest, plunging the point of his very large dagger towards her throat. Faith's weapons are too light to parry the blow. She swerves her head to the right in the nick of time. He swings his curved falcata at the left side of her neck. Faith puts up her left arm and gets slashed in the shoulder. She backs up, in pain. At that moment she sees Connor leap over the train and land behind her attacker.

FAITH: Bout time you showed me some superpowers.

Faith tosses the dagger in her left hand over the man's head. Connor pulls it out of the air. The man slashes for Faith's stomach with his sword. She jumps in the air to avoid it and kicks him in the face with her right foot, knocking him back ten feet. Connor comes at him from behind and sweeps the man's legs out. He flips through the air and lands on his face. Connor tries to stab him, but the attacker is too quick. As he rolls out of the way, he slices Connor's left thigh with his dagger. When he gets to his feet, the yellow-eyed attacker notices Faith is in front of him and Connor is to his right. He kicks his right foot sideways, knocking Connor down. Without bringing the leg back in, he pivots inward and kicks Faith with his right foot. Before she can counterattack, he spins around and decks Faith with an extremely quick left roundhouse. She tumbles along the pavement. When he gets close and tries to finish her off, Faith spins around on the ground and sweeps his legs. She gets up, as does her attacker.

FAITH: Sorry pal, but I don't go for strong, silent types no more.

He tries a right kick. Faith grabs his right foot with her left hand. He spins like a corkscrew and gets free. Connor comes at him from behind. Without turning, he sticks his right leg back and knocks Connor down. Faith attacks from the front. He brings his right leg forward like a pendulum and kicks her in the chest, knocking Faith back 15 feet. She gets up, holding the Bringer dagger in her right hand.

FAITH: Okay pal. Now ya got me angry. And I also got this nice knife. That's a bad combination.

They circle round each other. He's sizing her up, seeing if her injuries create any vulnerabilities he can exploit.

FAITH: It's been a long while since I cut somebody open. Maybe I'm rusty.

He tries a quick stab with the dagger in his left hand. She slashes his left wrist. He swings his sword. She grabs his right hand with her left hand. Faith sticks the knife into his abdomen and pulls it upwards, cutting him from below his navel to above his collar bone. The attack falls on his back, dead. His eyes go back to looking human.

FAITH: Nope. Still got it.

Connor walks over to her and looks at the dead body. They hear numerous gasps. Connor and Faith turn around and realize that the people getting off the train had watched the tail end of what looked to some of them like a gruesome murder.

FAITH: Yo, that was self-defense. And it ain't none of your business.

They do what the tough chick with the knife tells them and move along. Faith and Connor, turn around to examines the corpse.

FAITH: Not like he was human anyway.

Connor takes the weapons out his hands. He notices the dead man has intricate designs branded onto his knuckles. Faith sticks her dagger inside the chest cavity and realizes he's filled with some sort of sticky gray goo.

CONNOR: What is it?

FAITH: Dunno. Pretty sharp dresser for a demon. Nice hat.

She takes it off his head. Connor and Faith notice what appear to be decorations and possibly writing carved into the skin on top of his skull. Connor uses the falcata to cut off his head and his hands.

CONNOR: We should show these to Fred and Gunn. They might know what it is.

Connor isn't very familiar with Wesley and as of yet doesn't know Wesley's talents, or even his role in the organization. He takes the lining out of an empty trash can, puts the head, hands and weapons inside, then stuffs the bag in his duffel bag. Faith looks at his injuries.

FAITH: You okay? I mean, you got stabbed in the stomach.

CONNOR: I heal fast. Faster than Slayers. This is nothing. How bout you?

FAITH: Five by five.

CONNOR: Huh?

Faith smiles. They continue walking to the hotel.

FAITH: Thanks for the knife. You get those from a Bringer?

CONNOR: Killed a lot of them.

FAITH: You kill any other interesting things in Sunnydale?

CONNOR: Almost killed Buffy.

FAITH: Was this before or after you boned her sister?

CONNOR: Before.

FAITH: You really got ones made of brass. How the hell did you get off so easy?

At Buffy's house.

ANDREW: Connor's gone? This is a disaster! Filming had just begun. There are no fight scenes. No interviews. My project is ruined. Future generations will not be able to know of his amazing story.

GILES: Andrew, please. He's not dead. He's just in Los Angeles. [Giles thinks for a moment] We could always send you there. To continue your "work."

ANYA: They'd probably send him back.

ANDREW: How come you weren't here for breakfast?

ANYA: Because we had the limo until 9 am and . . . never mind.

Anya smiles and turns her head away from them. Buffy comes in.

GILES: Why aren't you at school?

BUFFY: Because I don't have a job. The new regime doesn't see a need for unqualified guidance counselors with super powers.

GILES: They fired you?

BUFFY: They said I could still work there, but they weren't going to pay me.

GILES: Then you're going back tomorrow.

BUFFY: Shouldn't I be spending more time with the Potentials?

GILES: That is precisely why you are going back. I did some thinking last night. We kept the girls here because we thought that was the best way to keep them safe. Drusilla debunked that fallacy. Our training facilities are woefully meager. Isolation isn't good for morale. Furthermore, I learned from my experience with you that Slayers can be more effective if they are integrated into their communities.

BUFFY: You're enrolling the girls at Sunnydale High?

GILES: Of course not. But they will train there during the day.

BUFFY: Where? How? You have no right to use any of their facilities. You're not even a librarian anymore.

GILES: I've worked out an arrangement.

BUFFY: With who?

GILES: With the people who hired me in the first place.

BUFFY: You're saying you have friends on the inside?

GILES: Think about it. Someone had to nudge the previous librarian into retirement. Someone had to go completely out of their way to get me that job. And someone had to keep Snyder from firing me and had to convince everyone to look the other way when I trained you in the library during school hours. Those things didn't take care of themselves, Buffy.

Faith and Connor are going up the hotel elevator.

FAITH: Gotta give you props for that plan, Connor. You're pretty good at being evil.

CONNOR: Won't happen again. Dawn took care of that.

FAITH: And then some. Tasering big sis. [smiles] That is definitely not the Dawny I knew.

Lindsey's showered and dressed, as are the others. Wes Gunn, Fred, Lorne and Lindsey wait in their headquarters.

GUNN: What are we supposed to expect?

LORNE: I'm hoping for laid-back, non-violent and sullen.

FRED: He didn't exactly leave on good terms with any of us.

WES: Let's go easy on him. Don't put him under any pressure. Give him time to re-adjust. We should refrain from giving him any orders right away.

LORNE: What about "Don't you dare try to kill you father"?

GUNN: We do hafta set boundaries.

LINDSEY: You guys are acting like you're afraid of him.

FRED: Afraid?

GUNN: Hell no.

WES: That's nonsense.

LORNE: Nonsense shmonsense. I'm afraid!

LINDSEY: He's just a kid. How bad could he be?

LORNE: In his first three days in this dimension, Connor did more to hurt Angel than Wolfram & Hart did in three years.

LINDSEY: People change.

GUNN: Not overnight.

Faith opens the door and enters with Connor. He's smiling. This scares Wes, Gunn, Fred and Lorne.

CONNOR: Hi.

They pause nervously for a few seconds.

FAITH: Something attacked us at the station.

CONNOR: Faith killed it.

He pulls out the head, the hands and the weapons.

LINDSEY: Faith, you're hurt. So are you, Connor.

CONNOR: It's nothing.

LINDSEY: Sorry I didn't introduce myself. I'm –

CONNOR: Lindsey. Faith told me about you.

Lindsey glances nervously at Faith.

FAITH: Just the present tense. No history.

LINDSEY: Are you okay, Faith? Your shoulder's cut. It looks pretty deep.

FAITH: I'll be fine.

Wes, Gunn, Fred and Lorne look at the head and hands.

FAITH: Any clue what it is?

LORNE: Certainly ain't local to this or any other dimension I've been to.

FAITH: The eyes were yellow. I think that's just a cover.

CONNOR: It didn't open its mouth. Ever. Thought that was kinda weird.

WES: You killed the creature by beheading it?

FAITH: Nope. Gutted it like a fish. Connor lopped off the head post-mort. He was wearing a suit. And this hat. [she tosses it to them] Covered up the weird stuff on its head.

Wesley is able to use some tweezers to pry open the eye coverings and see the creature's yellow eyeballs.

FAITH: Oh, and it's filled with gray goop. If that helps.

WES: So it's a demon that takes great care to disguise its identity, yet still fights with a traditional panoply. It wants to blend in, yet has no qualms about attacking in public in broad daylight.

FAITH: And I seemed to be the target. You agree with that, Connor?

CONNOR: It only attacked me when I went after it. When it knocked me down, it never tried to follow up. It wanted Faith.

FAITH: I thinkin' First?

WES: You're probably right. These markings should allow us to identify the creature. Can you tell us anything more?

FAITH: Really quick. And it did lots of spinning.

CONNOR: Hard to kill. [shows them the head wound] Put a knife in there. Put another through his back. Didn't even hurt him.

WES: If this is a new agent of the First, I should probably contact Rupert.

LINDSEY: You can use the camera on my computer to take pictures of the head and hands, then email the images to him.

WES: I'm pretty sure Rupert doesn't have electronic mail. He probably doesn't even own a computer.

FRED: We could send them to Willow's address. She can print them out and show them to him.

WES: How would we – how would you know Willow's address?

FRED: We've been writing back-and-forth the past few days about Cordy and Angel's soul and all that stuff. Also, she went and read by paper on Super-String Theory and had a few questions for me about that.

WES: Willow reads scientific journals?

CONNOR: Nice place you got here.

LORNE: Are you talking to me?

CONNOR: I thought I was.

LORNE: Oh. Yes. It's not home. But at least it ain't demon-infested. Except by yours truly.

Connor laughs. This freaks Lorne out even more. The others return to paying attention to Connor and leave the mystery demon for later. Connor sits down.

CONNOR: Sun's back. Beast's dead. Cool.

They're still trying to find a way to break the ice.

FRED: So. Connor. I hear you met someone. A girl.

CONNOR: Dawn's more than a girl. [a smile comes across his face] She saved me. If it wasn't for her, I don't know what would have happened to me. Everything looks different now. The world makes sense. I just wish I had met her when I first came here. She could have kept me from doing all the stupid stuff I did. You guys aren't still mad at me, are you?

Fred and Gunn, who have the most experience with Connor, look at each other. They're wary. Past experience tells them it could be a trick.

WES: We all do stupid stuff we live to regret.

Conscious reference to kidnapping Connor. Connor of course knows nothing of Wesley's role in the abduction.

GUNN: So tell us, what did you think of Sunnydale?

CONNOR: It's quiet. Small. Easier to find the demons than here. People are real nice. Most of them. Things work different there. The women do the fighting and protect the men. And the men always do what the women tell them to.

FRED: For a Hellmouth, it sounds strangely utopian.

LORNE: Like a demon Lake Wobegon: All the women are strong, All the men are good-looking, and All the monsters are above average.

GUNN: That don't sound like the town Cordy told us she grew up in.

FAITH: Wouldn't say all the men are good-looking. Hell, I'd take the men here over the men there any day. Gunn over Xander, Wes over Giles, Angel over Spike. Lorne over . . . any demon they got in that town.

Lorne smiles and starts quietly humming the melody to "I Feel Pretty."

FRED: Wesley, did the men do what the women told them to do when you lived in Sunnydale?

WES: It always seemed to turn out that way.

CONNOR: There's just so many of them. The attention was nice. They're so friendly.

GUNN: How "friendly" are we talking?

CONNOR: Oh, you mean did I - ? [Connor smirks] Only with Anya.

LINDSEY: Only what with Anya?

CONNOR: We slept together.

Lorne slams his glass down onto the table.

LORNE: Son of a bitch! No offense, Connor. Please don't take that literally.

WES: Is someone jealous?

LORNE: What would I want with her now? She's human! But – now get this – she saw me in Vegas last summer. When she was a demon. And she LOVED me! It's just a shame to miss your chance with a Vengeance Demon, especially one as red hot as Anyaka must have been.

WES: You like them when they're all scaly and veiny?

LORNE: First of all, they're not at all scaly. A Vengeance Demon's skin is smooth, almost velvety to the touch.

WES: And you don't mind the blood larvae?

FRED: [looks queasy] Blood larvae?

LORNE: I know, it doesn't sound very erotic when taken out of context. But when they put it on, they're naked, and it's like a glistening red dress. Plus, when they lick it off you at the end – [Lorne's smiling, but he notices everyone else is looking at him like he's some deviant.] You people have NO right to judge me!

They quickly forget this unwelcome glimpse into Lorne's private life.

GUNN: You were only gone a week!

CONNOR: Nine days.

GUNN: And what's this about her being an ex-demon?

WES: An 1100 year-old ex-Vengeance Demon. But she looks our age.

GUNN: Damn. That's like four times Angel's age.

CONNOR: I didn't know any of this when we had sex.

GUNN: Would it have stopped you?

CONNOR: Probably not. We spent two nights together right after I came to town. But even after she said it was over she was always nice to me. She was great. But nothing like Dawn. Me and Dawn, that was, well, words can't describe it.

FAITH: I've having a wicked hard time squaring this up with the Dawn I knew.

WES: I think it's best if we don't try to do that.

Considering they knew Dawn when she was 12 and 13, Wesley makes a good point. Connor takes out some pictures Dawn's friends took. Faith, Wes, Fred and Gunn look at them.

FAITH: Look at little Dawny. All grow'd up. And not quite so little.

CONNOR: She's a lot taller than Buffy.

FRED: Awww. Don't the two of them look cute together?

GUNN: Scary cute.

Clearly this is a side of Connor none of them have ever seen, or ever expected to see. They've never glimpsed Connor in this sort of context before.

WES: Are these her friends?

CONNOR: That's Carlos. He's cool. There's Carlos's girlfriend Denise. Here are me and Dawn with Kit and Elijah. She's Dawn's best friend. Eli's real fun to hang out with. And here's Dawn with Kit and Carlos.

FAITH: Looks like Dawny's got her own Scoobies.

FRED: Her what?

FAITH: I'll explain later.

CONNOR: Are you guys glad to have me back?

GUNN: Damn straight.

WES: Absolutely.

FRED: We missed you, Connor. Not that I'm saying you shouldn't have left. Or that we wanted you to leave, either.

CONNOR: I don't wanna think about what I'd be like if I never left. Or if I left but never met Dawn.

FRED: Sounds like you really like this girl.

CONNOR: I love her. She's beautiful, and brave, and smart, and funny. She understands me, sometimes better than I do. Always makes me happy, even when bad things happen. Like we were meant for each other.

Connor puts the pictures away, picks up his bag and prepares to go. He's humming the melody line to the Ramones' "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend."

CONNOR: I'm going home now. Pretty tired. I need to get some sleep. I'll come by tonight. Round sundown.

Connor leaves. Everyone's still a little in shock. 

FRED: Why is he tired? It's not even noon. [she gets it, then cringes] Oh.

LORNE: I heard him humming, and let's just say Connor's very, very happy. If I didn't know him, I might say he was at peace with the world.

GUNN: What the hell did she do to him?

FRED: I really don't wanna know.

LORNE: I think she tamed him.

FAITH: Dawny's got that boy whipped big time.

Connor goes home. He's putting his stuff away when Cordelia enters. She hugs him. Connor doesn't hug her back.

CORDY: I missed you so much.

She lets go. Connor looks her over.

CONNOR: What happened to you?

Cordy pulls up her blouse so Connor can see her belly.

CORDY: We're going to have a baby.

She takes Connor's right hand and pulls it towards her stomach. He rips it away before her touches her skin. He looks very shocked.

CORDY: I know it's a surprise. But you're going to be a daddy.

CONNOR: How do I know it's mine?

Cordy was definitely not expecting that. She punches him in the face with her right fist, knocking him down. Connor stands up. He's smirking.

CONNOR: I'm serious. It's not like you have standards. Come on, Cordy. You dated Xander. [he chuckles. she looks pissed.] And the funniest part of that story is, he didn't think YOU were good enough for HIM! You were beautiful. You loved him. He was a nothing who would be lucky to get spit on by the likes of you. But he cheated on you. Hell, he probably didn't even care about you. We both know who he cared about. You must have always known you were number two in his book. But you accepted that. Learning you were number THREE – that's what crushed you. You were his girlfriend. He should have been worshipping you. But the truth was that out of all the women he knew, you were DEAD LAST on his list.

CORDY: You don't have a clue.

Connor gets a twinkle in his eye. He smirks and slightly raises his eyebrows as he disses Cordelia. She's never seen Connor like this before.

CONNOR: I've figured you out. And you know what? I pity you, Cordy. I mean that. You're an incredible woman. Too bad the men in your life were too blind to notice. I mean, Buffy? Come on! Even now, when you're all stretched out, you're still hotter than she could ever be. But the men choose her. Everybody loves Buffy! It must have made you sick. I know it made me sick. And you know why they chose her? Obviously not for her looks. No. It was because she had the power. That's why she got Angel. Ain't that right?

CORDY: Turned off by Buffy. Nice to know you're not exactly like your father.

CONNOR: Too bad he didn't see it my way. You wanted him, and he didn't even care. You served him, risked your life for him, but he still belonged to her. So you decided to get some power of your own. Maybe then he'd finally notice you. And it worked. He did. But it was too late. There was too much pain inside you.

CORDY: I'm not in the mood for "This is Your Life."

CONNOR: I'm not making you stay, am I?

CORDY: What happened to you? [smiles] Are you evil?

CONNOR: Been there. Done that. Got laid. Got better.

CORDY: You are evil!

CONNOR: No. I'm just giving you what you deserve. You never loved me. You used me. I'm done with you. I have Dawn. She loves me.

CORDY: Dawn? Dawn Summers? Buffy's sister!

CONNOR: Not like she had a choice about that.

CORDY: You screwed Buffy's sister.

CONNOR: We made love.

CORDY: Listen to you. Just like your father. I hate that stupid family!!

CONNOR: And just so you know, you were lousy. Did nothing for me. You just lay there like a dead fish. Maybe that's another reason the men don't like you. [smiles] I just had a thought. Maybe you could have slept with Angel. You know, without him losing his soul.

She slaps him in the face with her left hand.

CONNOR: It stings, doesn't it? Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed. I spent all last night with Dawn, and I didn't get any sleep.

He grins sadistically, as if he's taking pleasure in hurting her feelings. She looks very angry.

CORDY: You stupid boy. You're gonna pay. You think I'll let you get away with this? You think this is over? It hasn't even begun.

Connor waves bye-bye with his left hand. Cordy storms out. He yawns.

NEXT: Cordy gives Dru and Angelus a piece of her mind and shows the vampires why she's a force to be reckoned with. Then Angelus goes to see Connor. They exchange insults and taunts. Then they exchange blows. And this time, neither of them is willing to back down or concede defeat. So it's gonna get pretty ugly. Also,, Angelus and Lindsey both pay a visit to the re-staffed Wolfram & Hart. They do run into each other in the lobby on the way out.


	40. Standing up to Daddy

[Cordy hurls some invective at Angelus and Drusilla. Lindsey and Angelus meet the new leaders at Wolfram & Hart. Then they run into each other in the lobby. Andrew begins to think Wesley is the Rogue British Agent of his fantasies. Finally, Angelus goes to Connor's apartment. After some intense conversation, they engage in a brutal brawl that far surpasses any of their previous fights. This time, Connor's too stubborn to back down. Each of them wants to teach the other one a lesson they'll never forget.]

Alanna and Tina stand in the lobby of the Hyperion. They see Vala in the hall getting playful with Tristan. He goes into the office, and she joins the other women.

TINA: You and Tris?

VALA: Better than I expected. I like being pleasantly surprised.

ALANNA: It's a shame Angelus made Tris shave off his blonde locks. He was so much hotter with a full head of hair.

VALA: How very shallow of you. I care about what a man has from the neck down.

The three of them laugh.

VALA: Heard some noise from your room last night, T. Who was the lucky guy?

TINA: Lars. And Lewis.

She grins. The other go "oooh" and congratulate Tina on her double-conquest.

VALA: White, black and yellow. The races coming together. Tres chic.

TINA: What I'd really like is to get Nat and Lewis together.

ALANNA: Sounds like a fun party.

TINA: Angelus certainly does have great taste when it comes to black men. And speaking of parties, how was your evening, Lana?

ALANNA: Ronan was delightful. He got real excited when I said I liked it rough. Didn't know he'd be the one getting bruised. [Ronan is built like a linebacker, while Alanna is built like a ballerina.] But he wasn't what I really wanted.

TINA: So what happened with you and Angelus's erstwhile sidekick?

ALANNA: Spike and I totally hit it off. Other than Angelus, he's the only guy vamp I've met who's actually fun to talk to. And he was loving every second of it. That boy wanted me big time. But the Slayer came and ruined our fun. It's a shame to see some castrating shrew keep a good man down.

Cordelia storms through the front door. She looks more angry than usual. Lana, Tina and Vala look at her and snarl. Cordy stares them down as she walks through the lobby towards the elevators. They back away. Nat heard the snarling, and came down to the second floor balcony to see what was going on. He leaps off the balcony and lands between Cordy and the elevator. She looks up at him. He glowers down at her.

NAT: You're no longer welcome here.

CORDY: Move.

NAT: Why? Your Beast is dead. The sun is back. What should I be afraid of?

CORDY: Me.

Cordy hits Nat in the chin with a right uppercut, knocking him back into the elevator door. She grabs Nat and throws him towards the middle of the lobby. He tumbles along the floor until his body collides with the circular couch in the center of the lobby. She gets in the elevator at goes upstairs. Cordy finds Angelus in the torture room. Dru is shackled to the wall. Angelus has his left hand up her dress. In his right hand is a small shard of broken glass, which he uses to cut Dru across the top of her chest. He licks up the blood as she moans and writhes in ecstasy. Cordy find this declasse and gross.

CORDY: You don't even have a clue.

Angelus turns and looks at Cordy. Dru stares at her and smiles wickedly.

ANGELUS: Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?

CORDY: Connor is back in Los Angeles.

Angelus and Dru look excited. He unshackles her.

CORDY: What's wrong? Cruella didn't have a vision about that? So much for her special powers.

Dru drapes herself on Angelus's back and puts her right hand down his shirt as they walk towards Cordy. She bites his right earlobe.

DRU: The lark has returned. Why is the queen of diamonds naught in the mood for a party?

Cordy rolls her eyes.

CORDY: Have you tried medication with her?

ANGELUS: My baby has a point. Something's bothering you. Do tell.

CORDY: I saw Connor at his old place. He's changed. And you wanna know why? This is the kicker. Seems Connor has been having sex with Dawn.

Angelus smiles. His eyes brighten.

ANGELUS: Deflowering a Summers girl. It's becoming a family tradition.

CORDY: He says he loves her. Is that also a family tradition?

This does hurt Angelus a bit. He hates to be reminded of Angel's feelings for Buffy.

ANGELUS: I'm sure he just said that to make you jealous. Looks to me like it worked.

CORDY: He's acting just like you. He thinks he's Angelus. [Angelus looks both surprised and proud] The way he talks. The smirk. Everything.

DRU: Oooooh. He's becoming worthy. The birds in my head are singing such lovely songs.

CORDY: Can it, goth whore. I don't think he's afraid of daddy anymore. It's time you set that boy straight, make him learn some respect. And do it while he's still alone, before he can run to Faith and the others for protection.

DRU: Mind your manners. You didn't say please. Angelus does not take orders.

Cordy puts her left hand on Dru's chest just below her collar bone and shoves Drusilla into the wall. She realizes Cordy's quite strong and it's hard for her to break free. Cordy stares intensely into Dru's eyes. Dru giggles.

CORDY: You really don't have clue who you're messing with, do you?

Angelus, who is behind Cordy and to her right, tries to grab her. Cordy reaches her right hand out and grips his throat. She takes her left hand off Dru and turns to look at Angelus. She lifts him feet six inches off the floor. After letting Angelus dangle for a few seconds, she throws him into the side wall.

CORDY: See how I just taught you a lesson? Now you go do the same thing to Connor.

Cordelia leaves the room and heads out. Drusilla and Angelus laugh. They're both delighted about Connor's return.

DRU: It's awl coming together, and every piece fits perfectly.

ANGELUS: Did you see how much he hurt Cordy? To say nothing of what he must have put Buffy through. Her lover's son ravaging Dawny. I am so proud of him. You know what this means? He's becoming one of us!

DRU: And now he need not be lonely. Your darling boy has found himself a mate.

Angelus thinks for a few seconds, then gets what Dru's saying. He hugs her and spins her in the air. She's very excited to see Angelus so excited.

ANGELUS: I don't know why that didn't occur to me. Dawny's what - 16? 17? Good age to stay at foursome. And we would be more stable as a foursome.

DRU: Our family will be made whole again.

ANGELUS: You could run interference, keep Buffy and blonde boy busy while I sink my teeth into that nubile young flesh.

Drusilla rubs her right index finger across her left index finger.

DRU: Naughty daddy. Didn't your mummy teach you to share? Connor will see that the girl gets taken care of.

Angelus likes this idea, and recognizes the possibilities.

ANGELUS: You sire Connor. Connor sires Dawny. Connor and Dawny kill Buffy. It's brilliant! Slaughtered by the sister she died to save.

DRU: And then we will burn and drink and destroy whatever we please.

ANGELUS: Tonight will be the start of something beautiful.

Dru pushes Angelus against the wall, rips open his shirt, rubs her hands on his chest, then goes down on her knees. Angelus leans his head back and smiles.

Lindsey has returned to Wolfram & Hart. He enters an office and shakes hands with the man who set up the appointment.

CLAYTON: Lindsey MacDonald. Good to see you again. Clayton Jerkins. Formerly of the Miami office. We met at the Cancun retreat.

Clayton is tall and tanned, with a blonde ponytail and brown eyes. He wears a blue suit, a black shirt and a red and yellow patterned tie.

LINDSEY: So you're the one they gave my old job to.

CLAYTON: No. I have the job you would have ascended to if you had stayed around and survived. Which you wouldn't have.

LINDSEY: Say Clay, weren't you Harvey's yes man?

CLAYTON: It's Clayton, Lind. In a paranoid organization, nothing advances a man faster and keeps him alive longer than sycophancy.

LINDSEY: I always thought there was more to being evil than brown-nosing.

CLAYTON: Brown-nosing is what let me get away with a lot of evil things. It served me well as a means to an end. Know I'M the one with sycophants.

LINDSEY: You're the ass they kiss. Congratulations.

CLAYTON: You think that's why I'm in the game? Please. You know where the joy lies in this line of work.

LINDSEY: World domination. How juvenile.

CLAYTON: I'm looking out for my future. I brought you here today to offer you a chance to do the same. Your future is can still be altered.

LINDSEY: You should know better.

CLAYTON: I know better than you. Ever wonder why the Devil would punish people for being evil, when He himself is evil? It doesn't make sense. That's because the Devil doesn't punish evil. He punishes incompetence. Losers like Gavin Park. Evil people the Devil has no use for. They burn in Hell. You and me – and possibly also that sweet piece of ass Lilah Morgan – we serve Him. We spend the afterlife as virtual demigods. That is, if we go with the program. You keep up the Boy Scout routine, and you will burn for eternity.

LINDSEY: And if I don't, I have to spend eternity working with you? Fire and brimstone sound a lot less painful.

CLAYTON: No one's ever had the Contract voided. Doesn't mean I don't want you to try. In fact, I want you to succeed. You going to Hell doesn't do me any good. You going to Heaven doesn't do me any harm. But you saving your soul might create some interesting unintended consequences. These things always have a price. Equilibrium has to be maintained. You know the rules. I wonder who will have to suffer so you can fly with the Angels. Do hurry with your Quest. You know what's coming.

LINDSEY: With you working point on the Apocalypse, I'm not worried.

CLAYTON: Thank you. It's nice if your enemies fear you, but even nicer if they underestimate you.

At the same time, Angelus enters an office in another part of the building. Sitting in back of the desk is a short man in a dark suit with short brown hair. Standing to his right is a woman in her early-60s. She's has short silver hair and wears a dark pants suit. She's the tougher-looking of the two, kind of a cross between Venessa Redgrave and Camille Paglia. She has her left hand on his right shoulder. They both stare at Angelus.

ANGELUS: Sofia and Daniel Bennett. Got nothing against a May-December romance.

SOFIA: He's my son.

ANGELUS: Oh. [smirks] That has been known to happen. In mythology, at least.

DANIEL: Drop the frat boy act, Laius.

ANGELUS: Oooh. Someone read the Cliff Notes. By the way, you called me in 15 minutes late, so I got bored and ate your lovely receptionist. Hope you weren't too attached to her.

DANIEL: Didn't even know her last name.

Angelus stands in the middle of the room. To his right are floor-to-ceiling windows. The curtains are drawn. Daniel presses a two buttons under his desk. The shades behind and in front of Angelus open. The shades directly to the right of him remain closed. The sunlight floods in, effectively trapping Angelus in the middle third of the room.

ANGELUS: You two must really be scared of me.

Sofia sneers. She walks up to Angelus, into the shaded part of the room. She passes by his left shoulder, walks behind him, passes by his right shoulder, then stands in front of him where light and shadow meet.

SOFIA: Nonsense. Behave like a civilized individual, and we will treat you as one. Behave like a wild beast, and we have no choice by to put you in a cage.

Daniel gets up and walks in front of his desk. He crosses his legs, leans against the front of the desk and folds his arms. Angelus looks at Sofia.

ANGELUS: Is the Margaret Thatcher routine usually impress people?

SOFIA: I don't care what you think of me.

DANIEL: I know how much attention those bush-leaguers who used to work here lavished upon you. But the dead wood's been cleared. Things are going to be very different from now on. You need us. We don't need you.

ANGELUS: Is that why you're wasting your valuable time talking to me?

DANIEL: We can always use a little extra muscle.

SOFIA: Would you mind being the muscle?

ANGELUS: Now you're wasting my valuable time.

DANIEL: No we're not.

He pulls something out of his coat pocket and tosses it to Angelus. It's a cut ruby crystal ringed by a band of gold and dangling from a silver chain.

ANGELUS: Trying to buy my favor with cheap trinkets?

SOFIA: No. We're buying your favor with priceless trinkets.

DANIEL: It's an Oscan Bulla. Buried for 18 centuries beneath the ashes covering Herculaneum. For a man in your position, there is nothing more precious.

ANGELUS: What does it do? Give me more power? Make me invincible? Can it make me fly? That would be fun.

SOFIA: Look it up. Find out for yourself.

ANGELUS: And how do you want me to scratch your back?

Sofia smirks.

SOFIA: Angelus, please. Not in front of my son.

DANIEL: First favor's free. When you find out what we gave you, you'll be more than willing to pay us back.

They close the shades behind Angelus. He leaves, putting the gift in his pants pocket. Down in the lobby, he runs into Lindsey.

ANGELUS: Lindsey! Didn't expect to find you here. Are you getting bored with being good?

LINDSEY: Are you coming to them for protection? Didn't know you were that scared.

ANGELUS: That's pretty big talk for a man who doesn't have a Slayer backing him up. Hold on. [sniffs Lindsey, then smiles] You've had Faith! What is it that draws you to women who love me?

LINDSEY: That reminds me. I met Connor this morning. He has his mother's face. And my eyes. How bout that, huh Angel?

Angelus picks him up and throws him into the metal doors at the entrance. 

ANGELUS: So that's why he's been such a disappointment!

Lindsey gets up, straightens out up his blazer and smiles.

LINDSEY: I know I'm not Connor's father. And so do you. But the important thing is, for a second there, you weren't sure.

Lindsey walks out into the sunlight. Angelus heads down to the basement and the sewers.

It's six in the evening. Wesley is on the phone with Giles.

GILES: No, I haven't been able to find anything on this demon either.

WES: I don't ever recall knowing so much about a demon who appears to have left no trace in the written records. Except, of course, for the Beast. And this creature is not even remotely in the same class. It can't be strong enough or important enough to alter the sources.

GILES: I'm beginning to suspect we might be dealing with an entirely new demon. Probably one that does not occur naturally.

WES: But if someone or something manufactured the demon, wouldn't they make it stronger?

GILES: Depends how many of them were made. They are clearly much harder to kill than the Bringers. And a mass attack by, say, a dozen heavily-armed demons who can't be killed by mere stab wounds would be incredibly difficult to repulse without severe casualties. I'm not so much concerned with what they are as I am with how many of them there are.

WES: I've been attempting to decipher the hieroglyphics on its head and hands. The difficulty is that I'm not as familiar with First Evil iconography as you must be by now. It's not in any human language, or demon language, so far as I can tell. There's not a hint of grammar or syntax. I assume it's some crude pictographic code understood by acolytes of the First.

GILES: Someone over here (Andrew) believed the writing was an adaptation of Luashic cuneiform script.

WES: Willow knows Luashic?

GILES: No, it wasn't her. Never mind who it was.

WES: Some of the characters a similar to Luashic script, but that's purely coincidental. It lacks the telltale rhythms and patterns. As I said, I doubt this is even a proper language. It's a sub-linguistic code.

GILES: We'll try that angle. Thanks for calling, Wesley.

They both hang up.

ANDREW: I think I'm onto something here.

GILES: No you're not. Good try, though.

ANDREW: So the Rogue Watcher doesn't think it's Luashic?

GILES: Rogue? Oh please. Wesley doesn't think it's written in any known language, and he has more experience in these matters than you do.

Andrew smiles and his eyes light up.

ANDREW: A rogue British agent, who's also an expert on demon languages!? You have to let me go to Los Angeles!

GILES: I assure you he would not be nearly as tolerant of your presence as I am.

ANDREW: Right. He must be a stoic loner. Abandoned by his friends. Fighting evil by any means necessary. Plus, he probably divides all his free time between the evil vixen he desires and the virtuous maiden he loves.

GILES: Will you please stop that? Wesley Wyndham Price has nothing in common with Timothy Dalton's James Bond, or anyone else's James Bond for that matter. Wesley and an evil vixen [laughs] – that'll be the day!

Buffy enters Dawn's bedroom. She's at her computer, researching the mystery demon.

BUFFY: Nice to see you awake, sleepy head.

DAWN: I'm sorry. I just needed a nap. Did Giles find anything on the demon that tried to kill Connor?

BUFFY: It wasn't after Connor. It's with the First.

DAWN: That's a relief. I mean, that's bad. But in a different way. I haven't been able to find anything.

BUFFY: Giles thinks it's something new. In other words, something it's useless to look up. And the symbols aren't a language. They're, like, First Evil Pictionary, and we have to guess what they mean.

DAWN: Like a puzzle. Sounds fun. Except, if we don't solve it in time, some of us die, or the world ends. Guess now that Connor's gone, things really are getting back to normal.

After a good day's sleep, Connor gets up, showers and gets dressed. He puts on black leather pants and Spike's red shirt. His hair is still wet from the shower, and he's slicked it back. The sun has just set. He's standing between the bed and the wall. After buttoning up the shirt, he runs his hands through his hair and turns to face the door at the other end of the loft. Angelus has just entered. He's wearing leather pants and a tight gray long-sleeve v-neck t-shirt. They look at each other. Angelus chuckles.

ANGELUS: Why are you wearing Spike's shirt?

CONNOR: Spike never wore this.

ANGELUS: He did when he was evil. You know why? The red hid the blood when he got the crap beaten out of him.

CONNOR: Is that a threat?

ANGELUS: That's up to you.

Angelus walks over to Connor, who's not intimidated. Angelus picks up a framed picture of Dawn that's by his bed.

ANGELUS: Well well well. Dawny certainly has blossomed.

CONNOR: Don't be mad that I got the pretty sister and you're stuck with the ugly one.

Angelus puts down the picture. He hoped his leering would get under Connor's skin.

ANGELUS: What ugly one?

CONNOR: Okay, the not hot one.

ANGELUS: I'm mystified by this blind spot you have for Buffy. It's like you look at her and see a completely different woman than every other man of earth does. That must really get on her nerves.

CONNOR: Honestly, I'm embarrassed. Imagine the shame I feel knowing my father settles for trash like Buffy. Maybe she's good enough for Spike, but I know you can do a lot better. Can't you find a girl who won't lower herself to Spike's level?

Obviously meant to denigrate Dru.

ANGELUS: Your mother wouldn't. I could be with her right now if it wasn't for you.

CONNOR: That's a lie and you know it. Angel would have killed her anyway. Its better this way. She was killed by the only two men she ever loved. At least I love her back.

ANGELUS: You really are a momma's boy.

CONNOR: She gave her life to save mine. More than you've ever done.

ANGELUS: I like this new attitude. No more of "My life sucks because of you" whining and complaining. You do what you want, take what you want, driving people crazy if they get in your way. Kind of like me. Speaking of which, I LOVE what you're doing to Buffy by doing Dawn. Porking her sister in my old house. She must feel so impotent, so powerless to control that little world she thinks she rules. Not to mention the delicious fact that you're doing to Dawny from she desperately wanted me to do to her. It makes me so happy to know that you're making Buffy suffer.

CONNOR: You don't know the half of it.

ANGELUS: By the way, did Dawn get my present?

CONNOR: You mean those three vampires.

ANGELUS: Three? Peter was supposed to sire several of his classmates and attack Buffy in force. This is what happens when you delegate.

CONNOR: They interrupted our morning sex.

ANGELUS: You boned Dawny that very night?

CONNOR: The next night.

ANGELUS: And they attacked you in your house in the morning. Doesn't make sense. 36 hours is way to long for a gestation period. I know. They woke up the night before, spend the evening feeding, then came back before sunrise. So were you actually inside Dawn when they attacked?

CONNOR: That is what you do when you have sex. Unless you're doing it wrong. Or maybe it's been so long that you forgot.

ANGELUS: You and her are buck naked, you're going at it, it's the morning after her first time, and you're attacked by three vampires in your own bedroom. That's beautiful. I wish I could have seen the look on poor Dawny's face.

CONNOR: Too bad you were too much of a coward to attack her yourself.

ANGELUS: Never say anything you can't back up with your fists.

CONNOR: I haven't. And by the way, I'm shocked you couldn't kill Buffy the first time around. Let's just say I tried it myself, and it didn't seem that hard.

ANGELUS: Was this before or after her sister started taking it from you?

CONNOR: Before. A couple hours before.

ANGELUS: She slept with you on the same night you tried to kill her sister? I like this girl. Dawny sounds like quite the wild child. As for Buffy, talk about adding insult to injury. You really are following in my footsteps. Torturing Buffy must be in your genes. How could it not be!? So tell me about this botched attempt on Buffy's life.

CONNOR: Not botched. Just unfinished. First, I made her trust me.

ANGELUS: She's always been a very gullible girl.

CONNOR: Told her I found a nest. We went out to kill it together. Thing was, I told the nest she was coming.

ANGELUS: Everyone thinks you're on their side. Such raw talent. It must be genetic.

CONNOR: We try to ambush the vampires. They ambush us. I fight a couple of them, make her think I'm with her. She gets most of them. The couple I'm fighting don't think I'm gonna kill them. But I do, just to keep Buffy from getting suspicious.

ANGELUS: The double double-cross. I think it's obvious what your true calling is.

CONNOR: She finishes them off. She's exhausted. I'm fresh. When I turn on her, she's too weak to resist. I knock her out. She's on her back. I'm standing over her, my sword pointing straight down at her heart. Actually, it was sword I gave her at the start of the fight, which makes it even cooler.

ANGELUS: So why did you fail?

CONNOR: Dawn came. She made it clear that if I killed Buffy I could never be with her. I made the right choice.

ANGELUS: Spreading to save her sister.

CONNOR: That's not how it happened.

ANGELUS: I know. I was only kidding. I'm sure she loves you. How couldn't she? You're my son. You got my good looks. My super powers. My tortured soul routine. The girls always go for that one. I bet she wanted you the first moment she saw you. Those Summers women are just drawn to us.

Angelus takes another look at the picture of Dawn.

ANGELUS: She's a peach. I bet it would feel great to dig your teeth into some of that supple young flesh.

CONNOR: You hurt her, I'll kill you.

ANGELUS: You're the one who's going to bite her. You doubt me?

For the first time in their conversation, Connor looks angry.

CONNOR: Get out.

ANGELUS: Make me.

Connor lands a left jab. Angelus blocks a right cross and throws a right hook. Connor ducks the hook, then lands a left uppercut and then a flying right kick. The kicks knocks Angelus ten feet backwards, but he stays on his feet.

ANGELUS: Before I beat you into a bloody pulp, I want to tell you again how proud I am that you've finally grabbed life by the short and curlies. My son's turned into a real player.

CONNOR: I'm not a player. I just crush a lot.

Angelus is confused. Connor lands a left roundhouse kick to Angelus's head, then a straight right kick to his chest, knocking Angelus into a pile of boxes. He gets up and goes bumpy.

ANGELUS: A little fatherly advice: never start a fight you know you can't win.

Angelus lands a left jab. He blocks Connor's left jab and grabs Connor's right arm when he throws a right hook. Angelus hurls Connor to his left. He flies through the air and his back slams into the wall. Angelus is right next to him when Connor's feet hit the ground. Angelus lands a left punch to his stomach and a right punch to his ribs. Then he adds a left kick to Connor's stomach.

ANGELUS: Always work the body. Something you never learned.

Angelus ducks Connor's right cross, hits him with a left jab to the mouth, and knocks Connor on his back with a right uppercut to his chin. Connor gets up and retreats. The bed is to his right, the wall is to his left and the window's right behind him. When Angelus charges in, Connor leaps over to the other side of the bed. Angelus and Connor turn and face each other. Angelus quickly moves to the front of the bed. Connor leaps back across. Angelus comes at him with a left roundhouse kick. Connor ducks and lands left and right crosses. Angelus responds with a right jab. Connor doesn't like being trapped. He leaps forward and to his right, bypassing Angelus and getting to the middle of room, where there is more space to maneuver. Angelus approaches Connor and tries a right kick. Connor moves to Angelus's left and tries to sweep his left leg. Angelus quickly hops in the air to avoid the attack. When he lands on both feet, a left jab from Connor is halfway to his nose. Angelus grabs Connor's left fist with his right hand and pops Connor in the nose with a left jab. He blocks Connor's right kick and hits Connor in the ribs with one of his own. Angelus follows this up with a left punch to the gut and a right hook to the face. Connor goes down. He quickly vaults to his feet.

CONNOR: Is that all you got?

ANGELUS: Not even close.

Connor tries a right roundhouse kick. Angelus steps back out of the way, then steps forward and lands a quick right jab to Connor's face. Connor knew Angelus did not have stellar lateral movement, but neglected to notice how quick Angelus was at moving backwards and forwards, eluding and then countering. He also never noticed how quick Angelus's hands were. A split second after landing the right jab, Angelus connects with a left uppercut to the stomach which briefly lifts Connor's feet a few inches off the floor. Angelus grabs Connor, flips him in the air and tosses him into the boxes near the door. When he closes in, Connor kicks him back and stands up. Connor ducks a right cross. He moves to Angelus's right. Angelus tries to nail him with a left roundhouse, but Connor slips behind him. Angelus turns around just in time to get hit by a right jab. He blocks Connor's left cross and head- butts him. Connor retreats, drawing Angelus towards him. He turns around and leaps towards the large, square wooden column near the front of the room. He grabs the column with his left hand and spins around counter-clockwise. But when he comes back around, instead of leaping straight at Angelus – which is what daddy expected – Connor heads rightwards, towards the wall. When his left foot hits the wall, Connor's body is parallel to the floor. He propels himself off the wall and towards the left side of Angelus's face. Outflanked, Angelus is clobbered by a flying right kick. He tumbles across the room. Connor kicks Angelus in the back while he is down. Angelus tries to sweep Connor's legs, but he jumps back out of the way. Angelus gets up. Connor hits him in the nose with a right cross. Angelus responds with a right hook. He eludes Angelus's left jab and right cross, landing a right uppercut to Angelus's chin and a left kick to his stomach. Angelus answers with a powerful left hook. He grabs Connor and tosses him into the wall. Then he moves in and lands two right jabs before Connor can get his bearings. Connor responds with a wild right hook. Angelus grabs Connor's right arm with his left hand. Connor punches Angelus in the throat with his left fist, but takes another right hook. He grabs Angelus's shirt with his left hand and throws Angelus over his shoulder.

Angelus is now trapped between the bed and the wall. Problem is, the door is on the opposite side of the room. Though badly battered, Connor attacks. He is knocked back by a left hook and a right uppercut. He leaps at Angelus and lands a right foot to his chest, knocking Angelus back several steps. He lands a left cross, but Angelus counters with a left hook. Connor punches Angelus in the mouth with a right cross, but Angelus sends him backwards with a right hook. Connor charges in once more, trying a flying left roundhouse kick. Angelus grabs his left ankle and slams Connor's body into the wall. Though dazed, Connor lands on his feet. Angelus ducks Connor's right hook. He lands a right hook to Connor's ribs, a left uppercut to his chin, and a big right haymaker to Connor's left eye. Connor is wobbly. Angelus caps the attack with a right kick to the nose, sending Connor fifteen feet backwards. He lands on his back. Angelus stands there smiling. Connor slowly gets to his feet. His bangs hang down over his left eye. He is bleeding badly and is bruised all over. Angelus has a bloody nose, a bloody lip and a bruise or two, but he looks a whole lot better than Connor. Connor looks at Angelus. He sees the window behind his father, and remembers what Spike said about surprising Angelus by doing the irrational.

CONNOR: You're too strong. You're too good. I can't beat you. You win, dad.

Angelus is a little shocked by the concession speech. Connor runs at him as fast as he can and tackles Angelus, knocking both of them through the window. Connor lets go and both of them spin through the air. Six stories later, they hit the ground at the same time, both of them landing on their sides. Both of them bounce a few feet off the ground before coming down to earth for good. Angelus is truly shocked by the latest turn of events. Connor gets up first.

CONNOR: Ain't victory a bitch?

He kicks Angelus in the mouth as he tries to get to his feet. Angelus falls on his back. When he gets up, Connor knocks him down again with a left kick. Connor spits out the blood in his mouth. It lands on Angelus's right eye. Angelus wipes it away and stands up. He is absolutely furious. Connor blocks his right hook and counters with two left-right combinations to his face, a right kick to Angelus's stomach and a left uppercut to his chin. Angelus staggers backwards, but stays on his feet. Connor slowly walks towards him.

CONNOR: Don't be such a sore winner.

Angelus couldn't just stand there and let Connor pun like a Slayer. He hits Connor with a left jab and a right hook. Connor answers with a right hook. Angelus gives him a right kick to the face, knocking Connor backwards.

ANGELUS: You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

CONNOR: Got ya outta my home, didn't I?

Angelus hits him with a left cross. Connor strikes Angelus with the back of his right hand. Connor grunts as he grabs Angelus and head-butts him. When Angelus tries a right hook, Connor grabs his right arm and throw him towards the sidewalk with all his might. Angelus's head slams into a traffic light pole, leaving a sizeable dent in the metal. He falls down against the side of a building. Connor pulls his father up off the ground with his left hand. He clobbers his face with a big right hook. Then another. When he throws a third, Angelus grabs his right wrist with his left hand. Angelus picks Connor up and bodyslams him so that his back comes down on a fire hydrant. Connor rolls into the middle of the street. Angelus walks out towards him. When Connor gets up, Angelus hits him with a right cross. Connor connects with a right hook. Angelus lands a left uppercut to his stomach, two right hooks to his face, and a left roundhouse kick to Connor's head. He grunts in pain as he makes the kick which puts Connor back on the ground. Angelus approaches. Connor stands up. Angelus stops approaching. They stand six feet apart, looking at each other. They're both horribly wounded, their faces covered with blood and bruises, their bodies wracked by internal injuries. Neither of them can go on with this much longer. Angelus worries about Faith and the others coming by. If they showed up now, they could easily knock him out and lock him up. He gives Connor a pained half-smile. Connor's mouth is open, sucking in oxygen.

ANGELUS: Dru should be by any minute now.

Connor knows he's as good as sired if that happens. He runs by Angelus to his right. Angelus sticks out his right arm and clotheslines him. Connor gets up turns around, groans and knocks Angelus on his back with the biggest right hook he can manage. Connor hobbles away. In Angelus's mind, the fact that Connor fled makes him the winner. But Connor thinks he's the winner because he was the last man on his feet. Angelus hobbles away in the opposite direction. He soon reaches the comparative safety of the sewers.

Two minutes later, Drusilla shows up. She smells Angelus's blood and Connor's blood on the ground. She looks up and sees the broken window. She knows they must both be hurt bad. Assuming Angelus can take care of himself, she follows Connor's trail.

NEXT: Connor tries to make it to Lindsey's hotel before Dru nabs him. Gwen comes back. Plus, Kelly makes an appearance in Sunnydale and helps Buffy, Spike, Giles and the Potentials battle their new demon adversaries. You can imagine how Buffy will react when she hears that Kelly was Angelus's "bait."


	41. Sibling Bonding, Vampire Staking

Lindsey talks to Connor about Darla. Gwen has some fun with Angelus. Dru takes on Fred, Gunn and Wes. And Buffy decides to take Dawn with her on patrol.

Connor races desperately for the hotel. He's running pretty fast for a human, but much slower than he can move when he's healthy. Each breath causes stabbing pain in his ribs. Every now and then he glances backwards to make sure she's not in sight. He makes it to the hotel and dashes for the elevators. One of them is closing. He dives forward, sliding along the marble floor, and getting his right hand in between the doors. They open. He stands up, walks in and runs the card Lindsey gave him through the reader. The light comes on for the 20th floor. He looks out and sees that Dru has entered the hotel. She is bounding towards the elevator. The doors close and the elevator goes up when she is just 15 feet away. Connor leans against the back wall and tries to catch his breath. Three business people are staring at the horribly battered young man. They move to the other side of the elevator and decide to stay out of whatever is going on.

Upstairs, Fred uses a yellow highlighter to draw a Spiral of Archimedes on top of the demon's skull.

WES: Please don't write on the severed head.

FRED: It's a pattern. Begins in the center and goes outwards. Only these characters matter. The rest are purely decorative. It might be a story.

WES: You've deciphered their code?

FRED: No. I just figured out the mathematical pattern. I don't know what any of these symbols mean, but I know which ones mean something.

Wesley looks closely at the head.

WES: The hands appear to explain who he is. I suppose the head might reveal how he got that way. The rest of the symbols might have some magical or mystical significance, even in isolation.

FRED: What have you made out from the symbols on the hands?

WES: Simple agricultural motifs. Appears they might call themselves Reapers. Instead of chopping down corn stalks, they're chopping down Slayers. Conforms with their choice of weaponry.

GUNN: Not to be cold, but is this our problem?

FAITH: He means, is it my problem? Cause we already got enough of our own battles to fight.

WES: The Bringers made one attempt on Faith when she arrived in town, and they haven't attacked her since. This Reaper has also made one attempt. I'm willing to go out on a limb and say they won't be back. The targets in Sunnydale are far more plentiful and, with the exception of Buffy, softer. We'll analyze this evidence and help Rupert out in our free time, but we can't allow it to distract us from our more immediate worries.

GUNN: In other words, don't forget about Angelus.

LORNE: No chance of that happening anytime soon.

LINDSEY: How do you guys wanna handle Angelus tonight?

GWEN: I vote for playing it safe.

FAITH: Everyone sticks together.

FRED: After last night, I don't think any of us wants to fight him alone.

Connor stumbles through the door and falls on his face. Everyone turns to look at him and gasps.

CONNOR: Angelus came to my place. I jumped out the window. But I took him with me.

FAITH: Omigod. How bad are you hurt?

CONNOR: About as bad as my dad is. [he chuckles twice] Right now, Lorne could beat him up. I think he went home. Dru tracked me here. She's downstairs.

LINDSEY: Lorne, the cameras.

Lorne checks out several monitors. They've patched into the hotel security system to see if their enemies are in the building.

LORNE: No sign of tall, dark and crazy.

Wesley rewinds the tapes a few minutes, then fast-forwards.

WES: I see Connor enter. About 15 seconds later I see Drusilla enter. She leaves ten seconds after that.

Faith takes off Connor's shirt and checks for injuries and broken bones. He has several large bruises on his chest, ribs and back. Faith pokes one of the bruises.

CONNOR: Ow!

FAITH: You may have broken some ribs.

CONNOR: They fix themselves pretty quick. [he looks at everyone around him] Thanks for, you know, being worried. But I'm fine, now that I'm safe. I'll heal on my own. I can stay here tonight, right?

LINDSEY: Absolutely. We have a couple empty suites. Do want some ice?

CONNOR: No thanks.

WES: So what happened?

CONNOR: He came over. We talked for a little bit. He said a few things about Dawn that bothered me. I told him to leave. He said "Make me." So I did. Then we fought on the street, beat each other up.

GUNN: You saying you fought Angelus to a stalemate?

CONNOR: We had nothing left. So we stopped. [lies on his back and smiles] I showed him.

FRED: We shoulda done the de-invite spell at your place. I'm so sorry, Connor.

CONNOR: I'm not.

GWEN: I'm gonna go check out Angelus's pad, see how he is.

GUNN: What about the barrier? If his other vamps find you, you can't fight back.

GWEN: I'm good at breaking-and-entering without getting caught.

Connor turns his head and sees Gwen.

CONNOR: Who are you?

GWEN: Gwen Raiden. We met once before. Right after you fell out of your apartment window. I must be jinxed or something.

CONNOR: You were there when the Beast made the sun disappear?

GWEN: Like I said, it sucks to be you when I'm around.

CONNOR: It hurts, but it doesn't suck, and it's not your fault.

GWEN: You sure you don't want to go the hospital, just to be safe?

CONNOR: I bend, but I don't break. [sly half-smile]

GWEN: Fair enough. I did once see you land on your face after a six-story fall and not lose consciousness.

CONNOR: I'm freaky that way.

Gwen smiles.

GWEN: So am I. But in a different way. I'm electric.

Connor looks a little confused. Then a little worried.

CONNOR: Like a human taser?

GWEN: I can do a lot more than shock.

FRED: She can also awe.

LORNE: Sorry to distract from this bonding of the differently abled, but the dead woman's back.

They see Dru on the monitor. Faith, Wes, Gunn and Fred head down.

GWEN: I'm gonna slip out the back and beat the old lady home.

CONNOR: Nice meeting you.

GWEN: You too, champ.

She leaves. Connor smiles. She didn't mean it in the strictly "Champion" sense of the word, but that's how Connor takes it.

CONNOR: So where's my room?

LINDSEY: At the end of the hall. I'll take you there. You need help?

CONNOR: Nah.

Connor struggles to his feet and limps out into the hallway. Lorne looks on the monitors and notices Dru has left the building. Faith, Wes, Gunn and Fred run through the lobby and stand outside the hotel on the sidewalk.

GUNN: Where'd she go?

FRED: Not to be negative, are we walkin' into an ambush?

They hear a woman screaming to their right. Faith rushes off in that direction. The others follow.

WES: Technically this would be running into an ambush. But my intuition is that she's working alone.

Two blocks down the road, in an alley behind a store, Faith finds the corpse of a young woman who's been bitten. The others soon catch up. They look around nervously.

GUNN: Would this be the moment we get bum-rushed?

They ready themselves for the attack. On the roof of the store stands Drusilla. She throws down a brick, which smashes into the top of Faith's head and knocks her out. Dru jumps down to the street and looks at — from right to left — Gunn, Fred and Wes.

DRU: How noice of you to accept my invitation. Hope you enjoy the party.

Charles throws a right cross, which Dru dodges. She knocks him down with a right jab and floors Fred with a left uppercut. Wesley connects with a right hook to her face. She blocks his left jab with her right hand and grips his throat with left hand.

DRU: Naught quite as darling as the other Watcher.

Wesley grabs her left wrist with both hands, trying to break free. He manages to kick her in the stomach with his right foot. She lets go of his neck, punches him in the nose with her right wrist and smiles.

DRU: But a wee bit feistier.

Gunn hits her in the face with a left hook. She kicks him in the stomach. Fred gets between Dru and Gunn, grabs her round the waist and drives her backwards. It takes Dru a few seconds to pry Fred off of her and throw her to the ground. By that time, Wes and Gunn are right in front of her. Charles nails her with a right uppercut to the chin. Wes lands a left jab to her nose. Dru hits Gunn with the back of her right hand and Wes with the back of her left, knocking them back a few feet and allowing Dru to escape. The three of them catch their breath and grimace from their wounds.

FRED: I liked Darla a lot better. Even when she wanted to kill me.

Faith gets up and rubs her head.

FAITH: What the hell did I just miss?

The bathroom in Connor's suite has a jacuzzi. He's never seen one before. After taking a shower, he tries it out and finds it very relaxing.

LINDSEY: I don't know if that's the right thing for you to do. Soaking in hot water when you're bruised and swollen only makes it worse.

CONNOR: Feels like it's helping me heal.

LINDSEY: You're the super hero. Whatever floats your boat.

CONNOR: How long did you say it would be before the food gets here?

LINDSEY: Room service here usually takes 15 to 20 minutes. I'll get it for you.

CONNOR: Thanks. Do you have a phone?

LINDSEY: I actually think there's one in the bathroom.

Connor looks around.

CONNOR: You're right. Cool.

At Buffy's house, Dawn and Giles are in the dining room, using magnifying glasses to look at the pictures of the demon's head and hands.

GILES: Something about plowing. The ones who clear the ground, prepare the earth for what's to come.

DAWN: I think these are harvest symbols. I'd call the demons Harvesters. Also, I think it says they came from the earth, or were made out of the earth, or maybe inside the earth. Like a Golem. But an evil Golem, built by the First to destroy its enemies.

The phone in the kitchen rings.

GILES: Hopefully that's Wesley.

BUFFY: Hello.

CONNOR: Hi. Is Dawn there?

BUFFY: Hello Connor.

CONNOR: Wait. There's something I wanna say to you.

BUFFY: And what would that be?

CONNOR: Thank you.

BUFFY: Oh. I wasn't expecting that. And what are you thanking me for?

CONNOR: I know about how you protected Dawn, even when killing her would solve all your problems and save the world. How you died so she could live. I owe her a lot, so that means I owe you a lot. You died to save the woman I love, the woman I belong with.

BUFFY: Don't mention it. Seriously.

It's as if Connor thinks Buffy saved Dawn so she could be his girlfriend.

CONNOR: Makes me even sorrier I tried to kill you. I know you're a good person who does really good things. You know, a Champion, whatever. I just don't want you to hate me and be mad at me cause I did something really stupid. And I promise I won't do it again.

BUFFY: Well aren't we setting the bar high? You're forgiven. Just hold your end of the bargain and we'll be, well, you know —

CONNOR: Five by five?

Buffy shudders. Talk about a wiggins-worthy development.

BUFFY: You must have met Faith. Good thing neither of you is evil anymore. Real good thing. Thanks for the heartfelt and surreal apology. Can you hold one second?

Buffy walks into the dining room.

BUFFY: It's Connor.

Dawn looks excited.

DAWN: I'll take it in my room.

She runs upstairs. When she picks up the phone, Buffy hangs up.

XANDER: Were you just talking to Connor?

BUFFY: He did most of the talking. That boy's view of the world sure is quirky.

XANDER: To put it mildly. He came by my construction site yesterday to chat. Though first he threatened to impale me. [Buffy looks very worried] Because of what happened with me and Cordy. [Buffy looks like she understands] He seems well-intentioned. Which is good, cause I'd hate to see him when he's not.

DAWN: Connor?

CONNOR: Hello lover.

Lindsey hears this, and it sends a chill up his spine. He closes the bathroom door and turns on the television so he won't hear any more Darla-isms. Dawn laughs.

DAWN: Miss me already?

CONNOR: Oh yeah. I saw my dad. We got into a fight.

DAWN: Are you hurt?

CONNOR: I'm hurt all over. But so is Angelus. I stood up to him.

DAWN: You didn't back down, so he beat you up?

CONNOR: And I beat him up.

DAWN: You're not lying to me to make yourself look better?

CONNOR: When have I ever lied to you?

DAWN: Connor . . .

CONNOR: Okay, that one time. But not since then, cause I love you.

DAWN: Are you safe?

CONNOR: Yeah.

DAWN: How bad are you hurt?

CONNOR: I should be fine tomorrow. But it's not the same without you here, making the pain go away. When you're around, nothing hurts.

DAWN: Ohhh. I miss you too.

BUFFY: How do we handle this new thing?

GILES: We don't play it safe, because that's never been an option. If we stay in the house, our enemies can burst in and attack us at any moment. If you take the Potentials on patrol, they can be attacked out in the open. You can't protect all of them from every danger. They have to learn to protect themselves. And they have, to a certain degree. They've learned to work together. They've learned to overcome some of their initial fears. Vampires and Bringers no longer intimidate them.

BUFFY: I meant, what are we doing tonight?

GILES: I was getting to that. You perform your usual patrol. Spike can do his usual tagging along. I've noticed in the papers reports about two suspicious deaths this week in the southeast section of town.

BUFFY: That's way out in the boonies.

GILES: Exactly. Hardly a normal feeding spot for vampires. Unless they live there. The bodies were discovered within a quarter-mile of a an abandoned barn. I suspect one or two vampires is nesting there. I plan to drive the girls out there, have them kill the vampires, and then return home. Simple search-and-destroy. Allows them to get some practice without exposing them to our enemies for very long.

BUFFY: That does sound safer than having them walking the streets or roaming the cemeteries.

Buffy goes upstairs. Dawn's hung up the phone and is lying on her bed, smiling, thinking of Connor.

BUFFY: I think it's time you took me up on my offer. I also think it's time I took you up on yours.

Dawn looks confused.

From outside, Gwen can see sees a light on at the Hyperion. She also sees the silhouette of a figure about Angelus's size. He has his back turned to the window as he takes off his shirt and drops it on a chair. She comes in through the window and sees the bruises on his back.

GWEN: Your boy wasn't lying. He really give as good as he got.

Angelus turns around.

ANGELUS: Can't stay away from me, can you?

Gwen's dressed in black. She takes off her two short black gloves. He walks towards her. She smiles and moves counter-clockwise and circles round so she's facing the window.

GWEN: You know the saying: If it feels good . . . 

She puts both hands on his chest and shocks him for five seconds. He cries out in pain and lies down on his bed, writhing in agony.

GWEN: Must be because the living have a much lower pain threshold than the dead.

ANGELUS: How badly do you want me to kill you? Cause right now, you're practically begging for it.

GWEN: After your inspired performance last night, I couldn't resist the chance to kick you while you're down. Metaphorically.

As he tries to get up off the bed, she puts her fingers on his chest once more and gives him another good five seconds of juice. He grimaces and growls, trying his best not to show how torturous the 15 seconds after she lets go really are. Gwen puts her gloves back on.

GWEN: I thought I couldn't hurt you in here? Maybe the barrier thinks I'm helping you. The sadist in you must understand the bitter irony. Nice kid, by the way. Angel would be proud.

She slips out the window and gets away. Angelus lies there, alone and frustrated.

When the food comes, Connor gets out of the jacuzzi and puts on one of the thick hotel bath robes. He sits down and eats. Lindsey decides it's time to come clean.

LINDSEY: Connor, I knew Darla. When she was human.

Connor swallows the food and pauses for a few seconds.

CONNOR: What was my mother like?

LINDSEY: Confused. After what she'd been through, how could she not be confused? And scared. But also strong. Elegant. Graceful.

CONNOR: She was very beautiful.

LINDSEY: How would you know what she looks like? Did your dad show you pictures?

CONNOR: I've seen her in dreams. Did you love her?

Lindsey takes a little while to answer this question. He worries Connor would find the truth disturbing and unsettling. It's always hard to tell someone you had the hots for their mom.

LINDSEY: Yes. I l did love her.

Connor smiles. This surprises Lindsey.

CONNOR: Good. Nice to know someone else cared about her.

This puts Lindsey in an entirely different bind, since he used and exploited Darla.

LINDSEY: Connor, your mother was brought back to life by some evil people. Evil people I happened to work for at the time. They didn't care about her. I wasn't supposed to. It was business. But I did. They made her so she would die a few months after coming back to life. And of course before that happened they had her turned back into a vampire. Your mother was the reason I switched sides. She woke up my conscience. Darla was a good woman without any choices. [pauses] Except for you. You were her one choice. The human Darla I knew would have been proud to give something back to the world, something that would live on after her.

CONNOR: Sometimes I wonder what she'd say to me.

LINDSEY: [chuckles] Probably tell you to be nice to your father. When he has a soul. Your mother knew he was a good guy. So do I, on account of the fact that when I was a bad guy he caused me and a lot of other bad guys all sorts of problems. Also, he's the only family you got.

CONNOR: You say that like it's a good thing.

LINDSEY: He's the only one who has to love you when you screw up and misbehave, or bury him at the bottom of the ocean. Always nice to have people you can go to no matter what.

Buffy and Dawn are standing over a fresh grave. They hear noises below them. The vampire is rising. Its right hand shoots up out of the soil. Dawn reaches down and takes the vampire's right wrist in her left hand. She helps pull him up to the surface. The vampire's feet are now on solid ground. Still a little disoriented from clawing his way out of a coffin, the vampire isn't precisely sure who this woman is or what she is doing. Dawn extends her right hand. She shakes his right hand with both of her hands, as if she is warmly introducing herself.

DAWN: Welcome to your new life. It's a pleasure to meet you.

In Dawn's right hand is a wooden stake. As Dawn shakes the vampire's hand, they are both holding this stake. Dawn thrusts both her hands towards the vampire's heart.

DAWN: I'm sure the pleasure is all mine.

The vampire turns to dust. Buffy is rather shocked by Dawn's fearless and glib approach. Dawn notices this. She tries to explain.

DAWN: Sometimes it's fun to kill them with kindness.

BUFFY: Did Connor teach you that move?

DAWN: [laughs] Of course not. Connor's not into kindness. At least when it comes to vampires. With me, of course, he's so way beyond kind. Yesterday afternoon we watched the sun set over the ocean. We stood there, and he held me, and it felt like everything was perfect, but it could only get better.

They start walking.

BUFFY: That's love for ya.

DAWN: You used the four-letter L-word for me and Connor. Does this mean you've moved from denial to acceptance?

BUFFY: No one can deny that you two have outlandishly strong feelings for one-another. That's what worries me. The more you love him, the more it will hurt when it ends.

DAWN: That just shows how little you understand about us. It's not over. It's never going to be over. Why would you even say that?

BUFFY: Because it always ends.

She picks up a rock, throws it into the air, and watches it fall to the ground.

BUFFY: What goes up must come down.

DAWN: Love doesn't work that way. The Laws of Gravity don't apply.

BUFFY: When has it not worked that way? Hasn't every relationship you've ever known about failed in the end? It's the way of the world. As much as you love him, as much as he loves you, something always gets in the way.

DAWN: That's not true. What about - ? No. But what about - ? [she looks worried after thinking about the love lives of her family and friends] You're right. Oh God, you're right.

BUFFY: I don't want to see you risk everything on happily ever after. Cause if you lose it can ruin your life.

DAWN: You think I'm too naive to know that? I worry about this every second we're apart. At school today, I was thinking about Slayers. They can keep up with Connor. Maybe in the future he'd meet one he really liked. She could always fight at his side, even when things were too dangerous for me to take part. The boys do always seem to go for Slayers. Maybe she could relate to him better than me, on account of the super powers. Then I remembered that Faith is in Los Angeles. [Dawn's eyes narrow] She could be with him this very moment. We know how Faith operates. She tried to steal all your boyfriends. Maybe she'd try to steal mine.

BUFFY: Faith's dating someone.

DAWN: She is? Who? Wesley!? Please don't say Wesley, because that's like a teacher dating his student.

BUFFY: It's not Wesley.

DAWN: So she's not on the prowl for once. That's good. Means I don't have to sneak up on Faith when she's sleeping and hit her over the head with a baseball bat.

BUFFY: Maybe Connor's influence on you hasn't been entirely positive.

DAWN: I'm still a little upset about what happened the last time I saw her. Knocking me unconscious, hog-tying and gagging me, then hiding me in the corner of the basement. After she switched bodies with you she left me there. I think it was three hours before mom found me.

BUFFY: Mom told me you were at Janice's when Faith held her hostage.

DAWN: She didn't want you to feel guilty about not saving me, even though I never blamed you. There was nothing you could have done.

BUFFY: Don't worry. If Connor ever dumps you for another girl, I'll beat him into a coma.

DAWN: That's supposed to make me feel better?

BUFFY: Just restating what you already knew: No one gets away with hurting my sister. I'll break every bone in his body, and when those instantly heal, I'll break them again. And if Angel tries to stop me — no, he knows better than to get in my way when I'm mad.

DAWN: It's not that I don't trust him. But he's 18, and really, really hot, and he might come across a lot of beautiful, exotic women in LA, maybe some of them with super powers. There could be temptations. I'm sure the women will just be throwing themselves at him.

BUFFY: Let's not get carried away. [she doesn't see Connor as a major hottie.]

DAWN: It's not a huge worry. Connor was with other women before me. He knows the difference between having sex and making love. [Buffy cringes] My big fear is that something happens and Connor gets killed. I guess usually Angel can help protect him. But right now Angel wants to hurt him. Then there's Drusilla.

Two vampires, Luther and Martin, walk down the forested hill overlooking the cemetery.

LUTHER: Did we miss the rising?

MARTIN: Looks like the Slayer beat us to him. Wasn't gonna risk my life to save a sire anyway.

LUTHER: Who's with the Slayer?

MARTIN: Not sure. Bet we can kill her.

LUTHER: You wanna take on the Slayer?

MARTIN: No, dumbass. The other one.

LUTHER: That would mean taking on the Slayer, dumbass.

MARTIN: I think we can kill the girl and make a clean getaway. One of us keeps the Slayer occupied. The other one makes the kill. Should take all of, what, five seconds? I assume the Slayer cares about the innocent she's with. First instinct would be to check on her. She does that, realizes the girl is dead, and we slip away.

LUTHER: Wouldn't she comes after us?

MARTIN: We wait in a good spot to ambush her. She won't be thinking straight. Grief, guilt, all those stupid human tricks. Tell you what. I'll do the hard part. You can handle the fun part.

DAWN: He lives in a very dangerous world. Any second, something can come out of nowhere and attack him.

Martin leaps out in front of Buffy and growls.

MARTIN: Die, Slayer!

He likes mugging it up to distract her. Buffy lands a right jab to his face. He moves back out of the way of a left kick. She goes in and lands a right kick to his stomach and left and right punches to his face. He grabs her and tosses Buffy on her back. Dawn watches. Luther grabs Dawn from behind and, throws her thirty feet to his left. Dawn screams. Buffy looks and sees Dawn 45 feet to her right. While she's distracted, Martin kicks her in the face. She goes down. He stands 15 feet away, right between Buffy and Dawn. She tosses her stake at Martin. He catches it right in front of his heart.

MARTIN: Does that ever work? Or did you just want to play catch?

He flings the stake high in the air and it sails well over Buffy's head.

Dawn rises to her feet. Her back is against the front side of a mausoleum. She picks up flower pot that's by the door and smashes it over Luther's head. Then she kicks him in the chest, knocking Luther backwards. He wasn't expecting her to put up much of a fight. Luther charges in and grabs Dawn's shoulders. He shoves her back into the wall of the mausoleum. She head-butts him in the nose. He lets go and grabs his nose.

LUTHER: Hey! That hurt.

Luther knocks Dawn down with a right hook. He goes to kick her, but Dawn rolls to the side and tries to get behind Luther. He throws a left roundhouse kick. Dawn ducks and kicks him in the chin with her right foot, knocking him into the wall. She pulls out her stake. Luther looks shocked. But he has the presence of mind to grab Dawn's right arm and spin her round so her back slams into the mausoleum. Luther tries a right cross. Dawn ducks, and his fist goes through the granite. Dawn slams the palm of her right hand into Luther's nose, knocking his head away from hers. She follows this with two right jabs and a left jab. Luther's still smarting from his fist going through the stone, and doesn't block these blows. He steps back 15 feet and grabs his nose, which is bleeding.

Buffy frantically tries to bypass Martin and get to Dawn, but she can't get around him, and getting through him would take too long. Instead, she starts running to her left, putting her on Martin's right. Then she hops on top of a headstone, leaps off it with her left foot and lands a flying right kick to Martin's head, knocking him down. She races to Dawn's rescue. The increasingly frustrated Luther goes in for another attack. Dawn puts her hands up to protect her face. Luther lands left and right punches to Dawn's stomach. Buffy comes at Luther from his left side and tackles him. Buffy pins him on his back, punches him twice with her left fist and pulls out her backup stake in her right hand. Martin rips a stone urn off someone's tombstone and breaks it over Buffy's skull. She didn't notice him sneaking up from behind. He pulls her off of Luther, who gets to his feet. Martin and Luther are now between Buffy and Dawn. Both vampires are looking at Buffy. Dawn comes up and kicks Martin in the head with her right foot.

DAWN: Leave my sister alone.

BUFFY: Hey!! I'm supposed to say that!

MARTIN: She's alive! Luther, why is this one still alive!? I gave you plenty of time. Are you bleeding? Did she beat you up. I don't believe this.

Martin shakes his head. Buffy raises her hand.

BUFFY: Excuse me. Can we save the rehash for after?

Buffy knocks Martin down with a flying right kick. Luther leaps at Dawn. Buffy tackles him to the ground. The two of them get up, and Buffy hits him with a right cross and a left roundhouse kick. Luther is now 15 feet to Dawn's left, with Buffy between Luther and Dawn. She looks down at Luther.

BUFFY: You get the hell away from my sister. See Dawn, that's how it's done.

Martin comes at Buffy from her right, grabs her head and smashes it into the metal gate of the mausoleum. The gate opens and Buffy falls inside. Martin follows.

DAWN: Buffy!

Dawn is left alone. She can't find Luther. He's jumped up onto the roof of the mausoleum, seven feet off the ground. Dawn crouches down, looking for another weapon. She picks up a fist-sized rock in her right hand and holds her stake in her left hand. Dawn looks around nervously. Luther jumps down and lands in front of her. She screams.

LUTHER: Boo.

He laughs. Dawn remembers the rock. She swings her right arm and bludgeons Luther in the left temple. Dazed by the blow, he falls on his back, thinking that one hurt a lot more than any of her other punches. Dawn bends down and stakes him.

Inside the dark mausoleum, the vampire can see better than Buffy. Martin picks her up and tosses her into the rear wall. He tries to slide the lid of a sarcophagus into her midsection. Buffy moves to her left. She's now in the back corner to Martin's right. He closes in and cuts her off. They trade left jabs.

BUFFY: That was dumb.

He lands a right cross. Buffy grabs Luther and throws him into the open sarcophagus behind him. She runs back outside. Dawn has just staked Luther.

DAWN: You get yours?

Martin storms out of the mausoleum and tackles Buffy. She throws him off her and stands up.

DAWN: You haven't finished him off yet? What's taking so long?

MARTIN: Luther? Hey Luther? [he sees Dawn] Aw man, this is messed.

Buffy lands a right kick to his face. She blocks his right hook and lands a right hook, a left cross and a right uppercut, knocking him down. Buffy pulls out her stake in her right hand and throws it straight down at Martin, like a spear. It pierces his heart.

BUFFY: See. That does work.

He turns to dust. Dawn catches her breath. Buffy goes over to make sure she's not hurt.

BUFFY: Maybe we should get you home.

DAWN: I'm fine. Were they targeting me?

BUFFY: Think so. [smiles] Guess they chose to pick on the wrong girl.

DAWN: I told you I could fight.

BUFFY: I already knew you could. I know how tough you are. One good thing about about Connor is that he also knows.

A vampire walks through the woods and comes out into the clearing near the clearing at the edge of the graveyard.

CALVIN: Martin? Luther? It's Calvin. Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?

Buffy hears him and looks towards the forest. Calvin sees her and looks scared.

CALVIN: Uh oh.

Calvin turns and runs. Buffy gives chase. He runs 50 yards then climbs up into a tree, hoping she'll miss him. She doesn't see him climb up the tree, but she does notice that she no longer hears feet pounding the ground. She stops and looks around. One of the branches is bobbing up and down about a foot. Just a little, but it's enough to give Calvin away. She leaps up and grabs the branch, which is 15 feet in the air. The branch breaks and Calvin tumbles to the ground. Buffy lands on her feet. She kicks Calvin in the head with her left foot as he tries to get up. He rolls twice and stands. Buffy ripped a six-foot long branch from a nearby tree, and she runs it through Calvin.

BUFFY: Vampire, forests: not a good combination.

He turns to dust. Dawn runs up to Buffy.

BUFFY: Ready to go?

DAWN: I do have homework. I've dusted two. Now you've got two. Sounds like a good hunt. [Buffy gives her a concerned look. Dawn smirks.] Sorry. Patrol.

NEXT: Kelly gets physical with Spike.


	42. Burning Down the House

[Kelly meets Spike and tries to kill him: you know how much he likes that in a woman. Then Kelly tells Buffy about what she did with Angelus. In LA, Gwen talks with Connor about Angel. Meanwhile, Giles and the Potentials have to fight vampires, Bringers and Reapers. There's a burning building, a high-speed car chase with gunplay, and finally a battle between the Reapers and Buffy, Spike, Giles, Kelly and the Potentials.]

Spike's downtown, doing his own patrol. He understood and supported the sibling bonding slaying thing Buffy was doing with Dawn. Spike notices four teenage girls walking home from the Bronze on a dark, secluded back street. Prime targets. So he follows them at a distance of 50 yards, far enough that they won't notice but close enough that he can respond in time to an attack. But they do notice him. Emma glances over her back.

EMMA: I think he's following us.

MELANIE: Some perve?

JACKIE: Looks too cute to be a perve.

RHONDA: But he is old.

JACKIE: Not that old.

RHONDA: Old enough to make it creepy.

EMMA: Keep walking. Don't turn around. He'll probably just go away.

They speed up.

JACKIE: Maybe we're just freaking out over nothing. We're probably way too young for him to be interested in us. We're 16. He's what, twice that?

MELANIE: A lot of guys go for jailbait. The whole innocent virgins fetish. Course, most of them aren't twisted enough to try to pick girls up in a dark alley.

Spike can hear them. He didn't like the assumptions they made about him, but he did like Melanie's last comment. After all, it was the other vampire with a soul who was known for doing those things. Two vampires leap out from behind a dumpster and knock Emma and Melanie down. The four girls shriek. Spike races over and pulls the vampires off of Emma and Melanie. He holds them off the ground by their necks, then slams their heads together. The vampires fall to the ground. He looks at the terrified girls.

SPIKE: This is the part when you run home as fast as you can. Do I really look 32?

The girls slowly back away for a few steps, then take off running.

SPIKE: You're welcome. By the way. Bloody ingrates.

Spike turns around. The vampires are getting up. He kicks them both in the head. They go down again, then rise to their feet. The one to Spike's right attacks him. Spike blocks a right hook, lands a right cross, gets hit with a left jab, but responds with a left-right combination. He turns to his left and notices the other vampire is running away. The vampire turns the corner and goes out of view.

SPIKE: I hate bloody cowards.

While Spike is looking the other way, the remaining vampire knocks him down with a left kick to the head. He runs off to Spike's right. Spike gets up, gives chase and grabs the vampire, tossing him on his face. Spike gets on top and slams his head twice into the pavement.

SPIKE: Why couldn't you choose to die with dignity? It's much less messy.

Kelly is strolling through Sunnydale, looking for Buffy and Spike. She wears a white sweater and faded blue jeans. Her hair is a little longer than Buffy's. She wears it down, with a slight curl. Kelly sees the vampire racing towards her. He doesn't notice her, since he's busy escaping from Spike. She realizes that he's probably running too fast to be human. Kelly sticks out her right leg and trips the vampire up. She turns around to face him.

KELLY: You really should watch where you're going.

The vampire looks at her. Definitely biteable. Spike wasn't going to keep him from feeding after all. He charges Kelly recklessly. She steps to the side, gets her right arm under his left should and throws him on his back. The vampire stands up. Now he's a little nervous.

KELLY: I love the part when the hunter realizes he's the prey. Don't you find role reversals hilarious?

Kelly hits him in the nose with a straight right kick and in the jaw with a hooking left kick. The vampire kicks her in the ribs with his right foot. He hits her in the chin with a left jab, but Kelly blocks his right hook and quickly lands right and left jabs before putting him on his back with a leaping right kick. He gets up, gets mad and leaps at Kelly. She grabs him with both hands and tosses him into the side of a dumpster.

KELLY: Judging by those moves, I'm guessing you used to work for Western Union.

Kelly holds her stake in her right hand. The vampire gets up. Kelly has him cornered at the right angle where the dumpster and the wall meet. She kicks him in the chin with her left foot and stakes him.

KELLY: You'd figure with a Slayer in town, the vampires would learn to be tougher. Oh well.

Spike picks up the vampire and tosses him into the side of a delivery truck. The vampire ducks Spike's right cross and gets behind him. Spike turns around as the vampire throws a right hook. Spike blocks it with his left hand and land two right jabs to the vampire's mouth. He grabs the vamp's right forearm with his left hand, throws him back into the side of the truck and stakes him. Spike puts the stake back in his jacket pocket, lights up a cigarette and walks away, the cigarette dangling from his lips. Kelly walks to the end of her side street and takes a left. She's walking towards Spike. When Kelly gets a good look at him, she knocks Spike on his back with a left roundhouse kick. The cigarette flies out of his mouth as he spins and falls to the ground. Spike looks up.

SPIKE: What the bloody hell was that for?

She tries to kick Spike in the mouth with her right foot. Spike grabs the foot and spins Kelly around like a corkscrew. She falls to the ground. Both of them get up. Kelly hits Spike in the nose with a straight right kick.

SPIKE: Ow!! Are you psychotic?

Kelly brandishes her stake in her right hand. Spike jumps back. He puts his hands up to his face and feels his forehead and fangs.

SPIKE: Listen pet, I think there's been a slight misunderstanding. Put away the stake, and I'll explain.

Kelly kicks Spike in the groin with her left foot. He groans and reaches down with both hands. She goes in for the kill. Spike grabs her right arm when the stake is six inches from his chest, and he throws Kelly behind him and to the ground. He's still in a lot of pain. Kelly stands up and puts away the stake.

SPIKE: Can we talk this over like civilized human beings?

KELLY: You're not human.

SPIKE: Point taken, love, but –

Kelly tries a right kick. Spike moves his head back out of the way just in time. He blocks her left roundhouse. She tries a right cross and a left uppercut, but her ties up her arms and tosses her 15 feet back. Kelly gets up.

SPIKE: Never gone at it with a bird who wasn't a Slayer before. You're none too shabby for a civilian.

KELLY: I'm not exactly a civilian.

Kelly tries a flying right kick. Spike moves back out of the way. He blocks her hooking left kick. She lands a right uppercut to his stomach but he blocks her left cross. He spins her around and pulls her left arm back, trying to cause enough pain to make her stop. She swings her right arm backwards and hits him in the right eye with the back of her right hand. He lets go of her left arm. Kelly leaps in the air as she spins around and hits Spike in the jaw with a hooking right kick. She follows this up with a left roundhouse. Spike grabs her left leg while it's extended towards him. He holds it there, up in the air, as her body is stuck in mid-spin. She looks like a dancer doing some sort of stretching exercise.

SPIKE: You look like a bright [sees the stretch he has her stuck in] – not to mention limber – girl.

Kelly reaches down to the ground. She does a handstand, breaks free from Spike's grip and gets her feet back on the ground.

SPIKE: I trust by now you've gathered that I'm not like other vampires.

Kelly groans.

KELLY: I'm really not looking for a sire.

Spike's shocked by the insinuation. But he decides to playing with it.

SPIKE: I much prefer human girls. Especially ones with your . . . technique.

Kelly rolls her eyes.

KELLY: So much easier when they just want to kill me.

She charges in and tries a left kick for Spike's stomach. He grabs her leg. She swings her right foot forward in a hooking motion. Spike leans back out of the way. Kelly spins around and gets free. She tries a right jab. Spike blocks it and pushes her back. She fakes a left jab and throws a right hook kick, which he blocks. Spike grabs both her arms before she can punch him. He pushes her away and spins her. Her body twists through the air three times before it hits the ground.

SPIKE: So love, tell me, how rough do you like it?

Kelly gets up, grimaces and comes at Spike with a left jab and a right hook. He brushes aside the punches and grabs her left arm. He sends Kelly forward, face-first into a brick wall. Spike holds her there and returns to his human face. He leans in close to her right ear.

SPIKE: I think you know that if I were evil, I would have killed you by now.

Kelly tries to recover her breath. She's very exhausted and a bit exhilarated.

KELLY: I'm beginning to see how a girl could get used to this.

Spike lets go. Kelly turns around.

KELLY: I'm Kelly. You must be Spike. The vampire with a soul.

SPIKE: Actually, I'm not the only – wait a minute. I am the only one.

KELLY: That vampire I dusted must have been running from you. I'm really sorry about the kicking. Are you okay?

Spike limps for a few steps.

SPIKE: I can walk it off. Though a nice massage might help. That's a joke, Kel. How did you know about me?

KELLY: Heard about you round the time I took part in a plan to ambush Angelus. I was the bait.

Spike looks her over. He starts chuckling.

SPIKE: Who's idea was this?

KELLY: Lindsey MacDonald. He sent me an email saying he met you guys last night.

SPIKE: That boy really did his homework. How did it turn out?

KELLY: Ever seen a vampire disemboweled?

SPIKE: Yes, I have. You disemboweled Angelus?

KELLY: Among other things.

SPIKE: Do go on.

Spike and Kelly walk to Spike's car.

Giles drives the large van he's leasing because it can hold all the Potentials.

KENNEDY: Is that the barn?

GILES: I believe it is.

The van turns left.

AMANDA: How are we going to get in?

GILES: The easy way.

Giles drives through the closed back door of the barn. The van smashes it down. Giles slams on the breaks and the van stops in the middle of the barn. The Potentials and he get out. Four vampires are to their left, feasting on a victim. They are clearly caught by surprise. When they notice the 10 girls coming towards them with stakes, swords and axes, the vampires try to make it to the front door. But since the Potentials corner them before they can escape, the vampires stand and fight. One-against-two weren't terrible odds for a vampire fighting humans. The girls pair off: Fadila fighting alongside Izora, Amanda with Madari, Chao-Ahn with Rona and Ariella with Rose. Kennedy and Molly stand in back of the other eight, ready to assist anyone in trouble. The double-teamed vampires get punched and kicked with a rapidity that prevents them from counter-attacking effectively. Within 20 seconds, they have all been staked.

GILES: Good show. No we can head for home.

Up in the hay lofts 15 feet above the floor lie eight Bringers concealed under straw. At the same time, all of them drop down to the ground and rush towards the Potentials.

GILES: [under his breath] That did seem too easy. [loudly] Stay calm. Remember your training.

The girls take the ambush in stride. They brandish the heavy weapons Giles gave them in case they encountered any Reapers and rush towards their attackers with great ferocity. At first, the girls are all in the front right corner of the barn, while Giles is in the center of the barn near the van. This means Giles is exposed and all alone for the first few seconds. Fortunately, he's carrying a large bearded Danish axe, like the ones the Saxon husscarls used. He swings it around in a circle, keeping the advancing Bringers at bay. Most of them stream right by him and head towards the charging Potentials. One of the Bringers pulls out a long-handled double-bladed ax and decides to take the Watcher on. His rapid chops force Giles to backpedal until he is up against the rear of the van. The Bring swings down for his head. Giles blocks it, his blade crashing into the Bringer's. Giles kicks the Bringer in the stomach with his right foot. He then pulls his opponent's blade – along with his own – to the ground to the left of Giles. The Bringer kicks both axes away with his left foot. Their handles fall to the ground to the left of Giles. The Bringer reaches for his knives to finish off the unarmed Watcher. But Giles lands a quick left jab to the Bringer's nose, knocking his backwards as he brandishes his weapons. Giles dives to his left and picks up his ax as he rolls along the ground. He gets to his feet as the Bringers charges in. The Bringer steps back when Giles swings the ax. He puts away his knives, knocks Giles against the barn's left wall with a very fast flying right roundhouse kick, grabs his own ax and runs towards the Potentials.

As the Potentials rush away from the front entrance and towards the center of the barn, four Bringers attack them in front. The other three go around the van and come at them from behind. The Bringers in front are literally trampled by the onslaught of eight Potentials. They girls run them over. When Giles taught the girls to use group tactics, he didn't expect them to employ shock action. The Potentials surround the downed Bringers, whose knives keep their attackers at a distance. Rona uses a machete to cut off a Bringer's right hand, then severs his head with two quick strokes. Madari, Ariella and Chao-Ahn chop and stab another one into ribbons with their long swords. The other two Bringers manage to get to their feet. One of them charges at Amanda and Rose, stabbing and slicing with his daggers. They both back up. Amanda moves to her left. The Bringer hones in on Rose. Rose is athletic and tomboyish, her short blonde hair swept back off her forehead. Amanda takes out a taser in her left hand and shocks the Bringer in his right shoulder. He goes down face-first. She chops off his head with the small ax in her right hand. Rose is a little confused by Amanda's weaponry. Fadila and Izora slowly back up and parry the Bringer's dagger thrusts with their short swords, which they hold in their right hands. Izora swings the small flail in her left hand. The chain wraps around the dagger in the Bringer's left hand. Fadila clubs the Bringer in the head with the mace she has in her left hand. The Bringer falls on his back. Fadila stabs him through the neck and Izora stabs him through the heart.

While these eight Potentials were overpowering four Bringers, the other three Bringers came at Kennedy and Molly from behind. Molly turns and fires her crossbow, hitting a Bringer in the chest. He keeps coming. She nails him in the face with the front of her crossbow, knocking him down. To Molly's left, Kennedy uses the hatchet in her right hand to block the knife thrusts of the Bringer in front of her. Another Bringer comes at Kennedy from her left. She knocks him into the wall with a right roundhouse kick. She spins around and swings her ax to keep the other Bringer at bay. Rona, who killed her Bringer very quickly, notices that Kennedy is being double-teamed. She goes after the Bringer Kennedy just kicked into the wall. Meanwhile, Molly helps Kennedy out with the Bringer in front of her. Slinging her crossbow across her back, Molly pulls out an ax and swings at the Bringer from behind. He turns away from Molly. The ax blade slices his left shoulder. Kennedy hits him in the face with a left cross. The Bringer staggers backwards. Kennedy goes after him and slits his throat with her hatchet. Rona has the other Bringer against the wall. She swings for his neck. He ducks, lands a right cross to her face and throws Rona against the wall. He pulls out his daggers and tries to stab her with the one in his right hand. Rona blocks it with her machete. Ariella comes at the Bringer from the left side. She swings her sword. Without looking the Bringer reaches out his left arm and blocks the sword with his other dagger. Fadila runs at the Bringer from behind and thrusts her sword through the back of his head. Rona sees the blade come his face where his eyes should be. Fadila pulls the blade back and the Bringer falls to the ground.

Right when Kennedy was killing her Bringer, the one Molly shot in the chest charged at her. Molly backs up a few steps, decides to hold her ground, and kicks him in the face with her right foot, knocking the Bringer back a few feet. Kennedy helps out, coming at the Bringer from his right. He knocks Kennedy down with a right hook kick. Molly charges in and drives her ax into his chest. While the Potentials are finishing off the Bringers, flaming torches rain down into the barn through windows that are up high at the front and back ends. The hay and straw immediately ignite. The old wooden structure goes up like kindling.

GILES: Now this is a bit much.

He wants to get the girls back into the van as soon as possible. But the Bringer he was fighting comes at Rose from behind. Amanda shocks him and he goes down. But when she tries to finish him off he sweeps out Amanda's legs and rises to his feet. Rose turns around and notices the attacker. He kicks her to the ground. The Bringer raises his ax above his head, preparing to strike Rose. Before he can bring it down, Giles splits the Bringer's head and neck with his own ax. Rose stands and runs away from the burning hay around her. Giles grabs the Bringer's ax and gathers the Potentials into the van as the flames rise all around them. The girls cough and struggle to breathe. As Rose runs towards the van, the Potential that Molly shot and axed in the chest grabs her left arm. Amidst the confusion caused by the sudden conflagration, Molly and Kennedy didn't realize that he had gotten up. Rose turns and kicks the Bringer with her right foot, knocking him on his back. She clubs him three times in the head with her mace, smashing his skill. Rose slips the weapon into her belt and turns towards the van. By then, the roof of the barn is about to cave in. The Potentials have closed the van's doors and Giles has started the engine. Rose runs towards the back of the van. She climbs up onto the roof, grabbing hold of the luggage rack. Giles floors it and the van bursts through flames consuming the front door. The men who torched the place get into the back of a red pickup and take off. Giles chases after them. The Potentials look back and see the barn collapse.

KENNEDY: Oh God. Is everyone here!?

Rose reaches down her right arm and knocks on the window. She bends her head down. Fadila sees it and slides open the door. Rose holds onto the right side of the luggage rack and swings her legs down. Ariella and Fadila grab her and pull her inside. Madari slides the door shut. Giles glances back.

ROSE: It's okay. I caught a ride on the roof.

GILES: You did what? Is everyone accounted for?

Kennedy looks around.

KENNEDY: We're all here.

MADARI: That was so cool.

GILES: Beg your pardon?

ROSE: She's right. It was awesome.

MOLLY: Where are we going?

GILES: After the cowards who tried to incinerate us. Are all of you buckled in?

Buffy dropped Dawn off at home and went to find Spike. She spots him standing next to his car, talking animatedly with Kelly.

SPIKE: Buffy, this is Kelly. Kel's one of those G.I. Jane demon fighters.

Kelly looks Buffy over. She's three inches taller than the Slayer. Buffy is wearing black pants and a red halter top. Kelly doubles over with laughter.

KELLY: I'm sorry. He-heh-heh-heh-heh. I'm really sorry. Ha-ha-ha-ha. It's just, that was the outfit I wore when I was the bait for Angelus!

Spike also starts laughing. Buffy thinks they're making fun of her. Then she considers what Kelly said.

BUFFY: You were Angel bait?

KELLY: I was brought in by Lindsey MacDonald to lure Angelus into an ambush.

BUFFY: What do you mean by lure?

KELLY: I met him in a club, got his attention, started flirting pretty heavily with him. He took me outside. And this is the funny part. He was going to sire me! [laughs, lowers her voice to indicate that she's impersonating Angelus] "I think we might have a future together." Then we made out.

BUFFY: Angel made out with you?

KELLY: I know. I didn't expect so much foreplay. Really weird kissing a vampire. That cold tongue in your mouth, going down your throat. Then he started feeling me up. After a while I'm thinking "Stop trying to get to third base and bite me already!"

Kelly laughs. Buffy is not amused.

KELLY: And those hands, those chilly fingers. Felt really strange when they touched certain sensitive parts. Not exactly the sorta thing that makes a girl melt. [Kelly remember who she's talking to] Of course, I suppose after a while a person could get used to it and it wouldn't bother them. Anyway, after what seemed like forever, he went to bite me. That was when the fun started.

For Buffy, that would be when the fun stops. She doesn't understand this new woman. Plus, it's extremely uncomfortable hearing her lover talked about in this way. Right then, her cell phone rings.

GILES: Buffy, where are you?

BUFFY: In town, with Spike.

GILES: Get in his car right now. Tell him to drive south as fast as he can.

BUFFY: Giles wants us to motor.

Spike gets in the driver's side, Buffy gets in the passenger's side and Kelly sits in the middle of the back seat.

BUFFY: He said head south as fast as you can.

The tires screech as Spike floors the accelerator.

SPIKE: Rupert got himself in a jam?

GILES: Buffy, I'm heading south on Route 250 in pursuit of our enemies.

BUFFY: You're engaging in a high speed chase?

GILES: They're not trying to outrun me. I'm tailing them at about 50 miles per hour.

Spike runs a red light on Main Street. He guns it to 70 miles per hour.

BUFFY: What happened at the barn?

GILES: We killed four vampires. Then we killed eight Bringers. Then these cowards we're chasing torched the barn during the fight. We escaped by the skin of our teeth. Don't worry. Everyone's safe. Call me back when you cross Hawkins Road.

They both hang up.

BUFFY: There were complications. But everyone's fine. Giles wants us to help him track the bad guys heading south on 250.

SPIKE: That's two blocks east.

Spike slams on the breaks and makes a sharp left turn.

SPIKE: Need to get on a faster road.

KELLY: Who's Giles?

Gwen walks into the command center, where Faith, Gunn, Fred, Wes, and Lindsey are.

GWEN: Saw Angelus.

WES: You confronted him inside the hotel?

GWEN: In his bedroom. Connor wasn't exaggerating. Angelus could barely stand up. Kid really did give as good as he got. Where is he?

LINDSEY: Room 2014. He's doing good.

GWEN: You guys know Lorne's putting on a show at the bar downstairs?

FAITH: I dropped in there for a drink and he tried to get me to sing. Think he realized pretty quick he'd have a beer bottle sticking out his forehead before I'd take the mike.

LINDSEY: You didn't want him to read you?

FAITH: No, I didn't want a room full of people to hear me sing.

Gwen goes over to Connor's room. She's just the sort of beautiful, exotic woman with super powers that Dawn was worrying about. He's lying on the bed, scarfing down junk food and flipping through the tv channels. He looks to his left and sees her.

CONNOR: How'd you get in?

GWEN: Electric locks. How ya feeling, champ?

Connor smiles bashfully.

CONNOR: Can't complain. Wish Dawn were here.

GWEN: Who's that, your girlfriend?

CONNOR: Dawn's the love of my life. I feel blessed when she's around.

GWEN: Love can be like that. Or so I've heard.

CONNOR: Plus, I heal faster when she's around. Dawn always makes everything better.

GWEN: Must be great to have somebody.

CONNOR: Dawn's not somebody. She's one-of-a-kind. I was lost before I met her.

GWEN: That's how it feels to be lonely.

CONNOR: You can't turn it off?

GWEN: What?

CONNOR: You're power. It's always on. That's why you wear gloves?

GWEN: I have to be careful. Learned pretty early on that every time I touched someone I could kill them.

CONNOR: That's cruel. Who did that to you?

GWEN: I was born that way.

CONNOR: Were your parents demons?

GWEN: Nope. Just unlucky, I suppose.

CONNOR: I don't know about that. Who wouldn't want a daughter as brave and pretty as you?

He smiles at Gwen. She finds it quite surreal to have Angel's son flirting with her.

GWEN: No point trying self-pity around you. Not with your hard-knock tale. You are lucky in one big way.

CONNOR: I know. I have Dawn.

GWEN: Okay, two ways. You also have Angel.

CONNOR: What do you know about my father?

GWEN: I know he's the reason I'm fighting demons [she laughs] Which is brutally ironic, since he's one of the demons I'm fighting. Angel helped me realize that I didn't have to be alone. That maybe it could be nice to be a part of something bigger than myself, or at the very least it might be fun to dabble in that sorta stuff. Your father risks his life to save people he doesn't even know, people who'll never even pay him back for saving their lives. He's the only person I ever met who does the right thing for no reason. That either makes him a hero or a fool. Probably a bit of both. But if he cares so much about strangers, imagine how much he'd care about the people he loved.

GILES: That was Buffy. They should be linking up with us any second now.

FADILA: How are we going to make them stop?

Izora sits in the front passenger seat. She rolls down her window, pulls out a pistol, holds it out the window and fires two shots, one of which punctures the truck's right rear tire. The driver struggles to keep from spinning out. The four men sitting in the flatbed lie down. Izora fires two more shots. One of them shatters the cabin's rear windshield. The truck swerves some more and slows down because of the flat tire. Giles also slows down. He looks to his right and is aghast.

GILES: Zora! What the God's name are you doing with that?

IZORA: Trying to make him stop.

GILES: Where did you get that gun?

IZORA: It was in the house.

GILES: What! Who brought a loaded weapon into the house!?

KENNEDY: That would have been Willow. When she was possessed by Warren.

AMANDA: And then the First Evil showed Andrew where the gun was and tried to convince him to kill all of us with it. I was wondering where that thing went.

KELLY: Did you just hear gunshots?

BUFFY: Oh no. They're firing on Giles.

Spike went past the road Giles was on and headed south on a parallel road one block east of Giles and the enemy. Spike knew this road had fewer cars, which meant he could go faster. He is racing down the road at 95 miles per hour. Fearing Giles and the Potentials might not have much time, he slams on the breaks and makes a hard right turn. Spike heads west on a road that dead ends into route 250. As he approaches the intersection, he looks to his right and sees a red truck matching the description Giles gave Buffy. Spike makes a left turn as the truck travels by him. Spike gets the right corner of his front bumper up against the left corner of the truck's rear bumper.

BUFFY: Spike, what the hell are you doing!?

SPIKE: What the bloody hell does it look like I'm doing?

Spike's trying to nudge the truck off the road. His job is made easier by the flat right tire. The trucks skids onto the shoulder and flips over. Giles slows down. He can't believe what's happening.

GILES: What is this, the Dukes of bloody Hazzard?

Spike pulls over to the shoulder and slams on his breaks, as does Giles. The truck flips down and embankment. It stops at the bottom, upside down, and explodes. Everyone gets out of their vehicles.

SPIKE: Those were the bad guys, right Rupert?

BUFFY: Giles, is everyone okay? Was anything hit when they fired on you?

GILES: Actually, Zora was the one firing on them.

BUFFY: Zora, where did you get a gun? Oh . . . right. Guess it would be safest in your hands.

AMANDA: Spike, that was so cool!!

RONA: Where did you learn how to do that?

Buffy sees that all the Potentials are there. They look happy, even if most of them have ash on their faces and necks from the fire. Giles sees Kelly.

GILES: Who are you?

KELLY: Kelly Campbell. Demon fighter.

SPIKE: She tried to kill me.

Giles smiles and shakes her hand.

GILES: Pleasure to meet you, Kelly.

KELLY: I guess the stubble must be a Watcher thing. Same with the ratty old sweaters.

SPIKE: She's worked with Wesley and Faith in LA.

KELLY: Do you guys usually have car chases?

GILES: This is the first one.

SPIKE: No it's not. What about when we were being chased by those army guys who wanted to kill you? I saved your neck.

GILES: Forgot about that one.

KELLY: Why did they want to kill you?

GILES: I was a demon. Just for one day. [Kelly is confused. Giles looks down at the flaming wreck.] I must say, fire is an appropriate means of death for those wretches.

The driver emerges from the wreck. His body is on fire. He runs up the embankment towards the Potentials. Everyone goes into the van and grabs weapons. When the man is ten feet away, he pulls out his swords and holds them in his burning hands. The Potentials flee. Armed with the double-headed ax Giles took from the Bringer he killed, Kelly charges in alone. With the long-handled weapon, she chops off both his arms before he can reach her with his swords. With a third swing, she takes off his head. Kelly pokes the body with the end of her ax shaft. The flaming legs and torso roll down the hill. The girls are impressed.

ROSE: Aren't you a a little old for a Potential?

KELLY: That's because I'm not.

ARIELLA: Are you the other Slayer?

Kelly laughs.

KELLY: Oh no. Nothing super-powered about me.

The four other Reapers had fallen out of the truck before it exploded. While everyone was focusing on the flaming Reaper, they snuck up the hill and deployed on the road to Potentials' left. Buffy and Spike see them approaching. Buffy turns around to look at the girls.

BUFFY: Stay back! We'll handle this.

The Reapers slowly approach in a line. Izora steps in front of Buffy and aims at the second one from the right. She puts three bullets into the center of his chest, where his heart should be, and two bullets through his forehead. At that point, the gun is out of bullets, so she retreats. The bullets stop the Reaper for a few seconds, and the other Reapers stop to maintain their line. But he soon resumes walking towards Buffy. The four Reapers pull out their weapons as when they get close to Spike and Buffy.

GILES: These must be the demons we were researching.

Kelly looks at Izora.

KELLY: Nice shooting.

IZORA: [smiles] Thanks.

Buffy and Spike each take two Reapers on. Both of them are armed with a long sword and a a short sword. The problem is each of them has two weapons to block their enemies' four weapons. Spike, who is to the left of Buffy, swings the long sword in his right hand down on a Reaper's head. He raises both his weapons to block the blow. Spike kicks him in the chest with his right foot, knocking the Reaper down. Spike easily blocks the other Reaper's sword thrusts and slashes. But the Reaper knocks him down with a right roundhouse kick. Spike quickly gets up and goes on the attack, causing the Reaper to retreat. The other Reaper moves in behind Spike. Buffy rolls to her right to avoid the attack. She gets up and quickly sweeps out the legs of the Reaper on the far right. He goes down. Buffy tries to stab him in the chest, but he blocks her swords with his own. The Reaper who Izora shot comes at Buffy from the left. He tries to hit her with a left roundhouse kick. Buffy ducks and sweeps out his right leg. She moves back a few steps as they both stand up.

Spike can't get any steel on his opponent, but he puts the demon on the defensive and eventually knocks him down with a left kick to the face. The Reaper behind him stabs Spike in the lower back with his dagger. Spike growls in pain and swings his long sword backwards, slashing the right cheek of the demon's human face. He knocks the demon down with a left hook kick and tries to stab him. The demon rolls out of the way and vaults to his feet. Spike swings his long sword for the demon's neck. When the demon blocks this blow, Spike reaches out his left hand and stabs the demon in the stomach with his short sword. He pulls it up through about three inches of the demon's chest before the demon kicks Spike to the ground. While he's down, the other Reaper attacks. Spike reaches up and blocks his stabs and slashes. Molly, Rona, Amanda and Rose charge at this Reaper, Molly with an ax, Rose with a mace and Rona and Amanda with swords. The Reaper backpedals while parrying their blows with astonishing quickness. His two weapons whirl through the air, blocking the four weapons of his attackers. He spins around and knocks Amanda and Molly down with a right roundhouse kick. He keeps spinning, and floors Rona and Rose the next time he comes around. The Reaper attacks, but is met by Spike. They cross swords and each one struggles to push his opponent backwards. Kelly goes at the Reaper Spike injured. She swings her double-bladed ax. He backs up and blocks the blows. Eventually, he catches the ax blade with his two swords and holds it in place while knocking Kelly back with a right kick to her chest. He doesn't charge after her, since Kelly is backed up by Chao-Ahn and Madari. The injured Reaper has no interest in taken on three determined opponents.

Buffy doesn't let either of the two Reapers attacking her get behind her or on her flank. She stays on the defensive, blocking their swords and eluding their kicks. The Reapers are getting frustrated by their inability to touch her. Emboldened by Buffy's success, the remaining Potentials go on the attack. Ariella and Fadila charge the one on the right, while Kennedy and Izora charge the one on the left. This only makes thing more confusing for Buffy.

BUFFY: Get back!

The four of them engage the two Reapers. Buffy decides to fight the one on the right and let the Potentials handle the one with the multiple gunshot wounds. She starts fighting that Reaper alongside Ariella and Fadila.

BUFFY: Help the others!

Ariella and Fadila join Kennedy and Izora, quadruple-teaming the Reaper. He fends off their blows and even goes on the attack, swing for them with his falcata. The Potentials back up. Giles rushes in to help. As the Reaper approaches, he swings his large ax, burying the blade into the demon's chest.

GILES: Die, you bloody coward.

Giles is very upset about the attempt to burn the Potentials alive. He views that tactic as beyond the pale. Chopping girls to bits is one thing. Killing them from a distance without showing your face is just plain underhanded. He pulls the ax out of the Reaper's chest and swings for his head. The Reaper retreats. The two uninjured demons are in a stalemate with Spike and Buffy. They also retreat after noticing their comrades' predicament. The four Reapers race down the embankment. The one Giles axed in the chest falls to the ground when he reaches the bottom. A healthy Reaper picks him up on his shoulders and they continue running through the orchard. They move too fast to be pursued. Everyone watches them flee. Kelly goes over to the Potentials.

KELLY: So would this be a normal night for you guys?

NEXT: Kelly tells Buffy that she trained Riley. The Scoobies meet Kelly and hear about what happened to Angelus. Beatiful, fights demons, beats the crap out of Angel: you know Xander's gonna love her. But he doesn't like it when she hints at that how she feels about Wesley. And all of them are surprised by the picture Kelly paints of the ex-Watcher.


	43. The Loneliness of Power

[Kelly tells Buffy about her relationship Riley. Then she meets the Scoobies and tells them about the new and improved Wesley. Gwen pays Cordy a visit, and Cordy decides to change the rules of the game.]

Buffy catches her breath and walks over to Giles.

BUFFY: Simple search-and-destroy mission?

GILES: We destroyed a lot more than I planned on. [he laughs]

BUFFY: You're happy about putting the girls at risk, about leading them into a trap?

GILES: I'm happy that they made it out unscathed. I'm proud that they stood up to these Harvest Demons. You know how poisonous a bad first encounter with a new demon can be for morale. I'll admit that I made a horrible blunder in taking the girls to that barn tonight. I needlessly put everyone at risk. It could have been a disaster. But it wasn't. Their abilities more than made up for my blunders. And that's all a Watcher can ask for. By the way, who is this Kelly?

Kelly comes up from behind and puts her left arm around Buffy's shoulder and her right arm around Giles's.

KELLY: How bout we go back to your headquarters and I can explain. But I should warn you, my story will seem pretty lame compared to all of yours.

BUFFY: Headquarters?

GILES: That would be your house.

KELLY: Your girl recruits are off the hook. They could teach the men I'm training a thing or two about courage. [laughs] And marksmanship.

GILES: Thank you, um, Kelly. But the lion's share of the credit has to go to Buffy. The girls are simply following her example.

KELLY: Don't sell yourself short, jeeves. I saw you ax that demon guy. Just like something Wesley would do. Was Wes your protege at the Council?

Buffy and Giles laugh.

GILES: Why would you say something like that?

KELLY: Isn't it obvious?

BUFFY: No. Not even remotely.

KELLY: Bookish scholar by day, gritty tough guy by night. An English Indiana Jones, minus hat and bullwhip.

Kelly steps back and thinks for a moment about Wesley with a bullwhip.

GILES: Thank you. I like that analogy. Except Indy only fought humans, and I believe he knew fewer languages than I do. Anyway, we'd better head home before there's another attack.

GIles gets the girls into the van and drives off. Buffy and Kelly ride with Spike.

SPIKE: Kel, since you were a demon fighter in the army, did you have anything to do with that bloody awful Initiative?

KELLY: That was a tertiary mission. Low priority.

BUFFY: It didn't look low priority.

KELLY: You should have seen our two primary bases. Maggie Walsh did some psy-op work with the CIA. She also had a few connections with some civilians at the DOD. The Revolution in Military Affairs crowd. New warriors for a new era, the cutting edge. They ate her ideas up. Gave her a minor assignment to pursue her goals. I knew something bad would happen. Put a civilian in direct command of soldiers, and a lot of good soldiers usually end up dead. I never really understood what she was up to, even when some of the men who worked for her tried to explain it to me.

BUFFY: Which soldiers?

KELLY: The ones I trained a in the summer of 99. Graham, Forest, Riley. Good soldiers. Didn't know jack about demons when I met them. You know any of them?

BUFFY: All of them, actually.

KELLY: Good guys. Top-notch soldiers. Riley got Lieutenant cause he was the only one who went to college. Graham and Forest joined right out of high school. Course that did make them a little more experienced. Despite the CO/NCO divide, they got along great. Three Musketeers, I called them. Figured they would've known you professionally, since you all were demon fighters in the same small town.

Spike smirks.

KELLY: What is it?

Spike remains mum.

BUFFY: Riley was my boyfriend. We dated, for a year.

KELLY: Interesting. Very interesting. You and Finney.

BUFFY: What do you mean by "interesting?"

KELLY: Finney had a huge crush on me. It was pretty obvious from the moment we met. Eventually he admitted as much. Course, with me being a superior officer, both of us knew we could never date. Besides, he wasn't my type. Finn's plenty hunky — as I'm sure you noticed. But he's a little too white bread for my tastes. I like a man with layers. Someone complex, a little rough around the edges. Still, Finney's definitely hook-up worthy. On assignment in the jungle, fighting for your life, you kill the enemy, you celebrate. You know what I'm talking about, right?

Buffy doesn't answer.

SPIKE: So Riley was hot for Kelly right before he met you, Buffy. That is very interesting.

Buffy doesn't like the insinuation that she may have been Riley's Kelly substitute. But she's more upset by the pattern of Kelly getting hit on by Buffy's men and being dismissive about them.

BUFFY: Riley wasn't good enough for you?

KELLY: Hell no. He just wasn't my type. Like Angelus. Let's assume Angelus is human, and he's not evil. Total hottie. I won't deny it. But once again, not my type. Too perfect. [Spike doesn't like this] That chiseled body. That killer smile. Sorry, bad choice of words in his case. He's gorgeous, and he knows it. That's the problem. Too much attitude. Not enough self-deprecation. I need a guy who can make me laugh. Angelus couldn't do that. No one that hot needs to develop a sense of humor. Which reminds me, where was I? Oh, right. Angelus goes to bite me . . .

Kelly finishes the story for Buffy on the way home, where Anya, Willow, Andrew and Dawn spent the evening. Andrew and Xander are watching some old Star Trek episodes Andrew has on tape. Anya uses her knowledge of demon magic to help Willow cram for her expected showdown with Cordy. Dawn is in the kitchen, on the phone with Wesley, discussing the symbols on the Reaper's head and hands.

DAWN: No. No, it's Tungisic. Okay, yes, it's Chuvash. You're right about that. But that's not where it originated. No, I'm not nit-picking. It does matter. The interpretation could be entirely different. Tell Fred thanks for her help. I hadn't noticed the pattern. Yes, I'm also grateful for your help, Wesley. But I think it says both 12 and 20. Why are you automatically inferring multiplication? By the way, could you take another picture of the skull, this time with better focus? Maybe if you cut the skin off and flattened it out, the image would come out better. We need better resolution. Giles would tell you the same thing. Okay. Thanks Wesley. Nice working with you.

They both hang up.

FRED: Was that Giles?

WES: No. That was Dawn.

FRED: Connor's girlfriend?

WES: She appears to be quite bookish. I didn't think that was Connor's type.

FRED: Neither did I. Why were you arguing with her?

WES: We had some minor disagreements over the interpretations of certain symbols. She's quite knowledgeable. Being a teenager, she thinks she knows more than she actually does.

FRED: Hard to imagine Connor falling in love with a brainy girl. [smiles] Kinda cute, though. Brains and muscle, together.

Wesley frowns, turn away from Fred and looks down at his books.

WES: [mutters] Yes. We all know how adorable that can be.

When everyone returns home, Xander, Andrew, Willow, Anya and Dawn meet Kelly, and she tells everyone what they did to Angelus.

XANDER: Shot, stabbed, slashed, disembowled, and beaten into a bloody pulp. They should show that on tv every Thanksgiving. Now did you say you've kicked Angel AND Spike in the nuts?

KELLY: Yes. But I only tried to kill Spike.

SPIKE: And yet I was the one who didn't want to kill you.

Kelly looks at Spike, smiles and puts her right hand on his left shoulder.

KELLY: I told you I was sorry. For hitting you in the nads. Can't say I'm sorry bout the whole thing. I think we both enjoyed the rest of the fight.

Spike half-smiles and raises his eyebrows.

SPIKE: It wasn't without its charms.

KELLY: And you were a real gentleman about not hitting me, even after I tried to stake you.

WILLOW: With Spike, that's a turn-on.

XANDER: Let's get back to Angel. He tries to bite you, and you put two broken bottles into his neck?

KELLY: Little bottles. The ones you get in hotels. Had to get a little liquored up to get into character.

ANYA: Right. Because you were only PRETENDING to enjoy getting hit on, groped and kissed by a very handsome vampire. Musta been a real tough acting job.

KENNEDY: The hanky-panky does seem a bit gratuitous.

MOLLY: We've been taught to only make out with vampires who don't want to hurt us.

GILES: Who on earth taught you that? [thinks for a few seconds] Oh.

KELLY: I told you before, if we just jumped him he'd run away. He let his guard down because he thought I was helpless. That was the hard part — screaming and shaking and crying hysterically, like I had never seen a vampire before. Really had him believing that one.

SPIKE: Angelus always loved a screamer.

GILES: And that Lindsey fellow came up with this plan?

KELLY: The general outline. But Wesley devised the attack we used once Angelus was in the warehouse — operating in tandem, saving Faith for the very end. He has a very sharp tactical mind.

BUFFY: Wesley has a what? It's just, I don't remember him having a single good idea when he was here. Am I wrong?

GILES: No. You're not.

XANDER: And since when was he fearless in the face of danger?

ANDREW: Obviously all of you underestimated this complicated and gifted man. Can you tell me a more about his inner torment?

KELLY: [whispers to Spike] What's up with googly eyes?

SPIKE: He's prone to hero worship.

KELLY: Sorry that I can't tell you anything more about your friends in LA. I skipped town the morning after the attack. Based on his history, I figured if I stuck around Angelus would track me down and torture me to death.

SPIKE: Among other things. You don't have family in Los Angelus, do you?

KELLY: They're in San Diego.

GILES: Do you have any pets?

KELLY: No. Why?

GILES: Never mind.

KELLY: So where's your real headquarters?

XANDER: Our what?

KELLY: Your command center. Your base of operations.

BUFFY: Those would all be in this room.

KELLY: You live and work HERE? All 18 of you? In this tiny house? Talk about saving the world on a shoestring. Figured the Council would have expended more resources on its Slayer. How much did they pay you, Buffy?

Buffy starts laughing, as does Giles. Then she realizes it's not so funny.

BUFFY: Why am I laughing? Why are you laughing? This isn't funny. They paid you. They paid all those useless twits who came here to rate me.

ANYA: But the Council has a sacred tradition of using Slayers as slave labor.

GILES: That's completely ridiculous.

ANYA: You make them perform an extremely dangerous job against their will. You don't pay them a cent. Then you work them to death.

AMANDA: She does have a point.

BUFFY: No she doesn't. [laughs] I am not a slave. I never was.

KENNEDY: Technically, Buffy's an amateur.

ANYA: Slave, amateur — same difference. You do a job and don't get paid.

KELLY: Salary aside, I can't understand why they don't invest in your infrastructure. This house offers zero protection from your enemies. If the fate of the world does depend on the survival of you girls, shouldn't you be someplace more secure? It's almost like they chose to make Buffy's job as difficult as possible. From my vantage point, either this Council was incompetent, or it actually wanted you to fail.

SPIKE: Can't it be both?

WILLOW: Let's not get paranoid.

XANDER: I like the military comparison. The Council saw the Slayers as demon fodder. And you don't invest resources in a soldier you don't think will live very long. They've probably never had someone like Buffy who survived long enough for these things to matter.

ANYA: Which gives them a perverse incentive to make Slayers die early in their careers.

GILES: The Council would never intentionally attempt to kill a Slayer. [Buffy glares at him] Callously and deceitfully putting Slayers' lives at unnecessary risk — that's another matter.

KELLY: The whole operation seems stuck in the Dark Ages. 

ANYA: I am sick and tired of everyone bad-mouthing the Dark Ages. They really weren't so bad. And back then warriors got paid. Someone regularly saved the village from troll attacks, they were rewarded. They weren't forced to work menial jobs in their spare time to pay the bills. Buffy provides an essential service. More essential than the service Kelly provides.

KELLY: Won't argue with that. I've seen what Slayers can do.

ANYA: Buffy does more, yet she gets less.

DAWN: She gets nothing.

ANYA: And neither do the rest of us. Think of how much better we'd be if we had spacious living and training quarters and the freedom to fight demons on a full-time basis.

KELLY: You mean like what Angel's friends have?

Drusilla walks into Angelus's room. He's lying on the bed. The room is dark. He's listening to Mozart's "Don Giovanni." Dru turns on a light. She's very happy.

ANGELUS: Did you get Connor?

DRU: He got away just.

Angelus struggles to his feet.

ANGELUS: Then why the hell are you happy? You failed!

Dru shows him a boy of about three. The child is too terrified to make a sound.

DRU: Went shopping. Decided to take him home, seeing how his mother is no longer around to care for him.

Angelus slaps Dru with his right hand. She falls down and starts whimpering.

DRU: Watch you temper in front of the children.

Angelus picks up the child, who screams as Angelus drains him. Dru stands up and smiles.

DRU: You loiked my gift.

Angelus slaps and punches Dru. She falls down and starts crying.

ANGELUS: I had Connor taken care of. All you had to do was show up on time. Look at me. Look at me!

Angelus squeezes her jaw and tilts Dru' head upwards. He points at his bruises.

ANGELUS: Because of you, all of this was for nothing!

He punches her again. Dru falls down on her face. She looks up at Angelus like a scared child.

DRU: Please don't hurt me. Please. I'm begging you. I'm sorry.

Angelus picks her up and pushes Dru's back against the wall.

ANGELUS: You let me down.

He tosses her across the room. Dru lies on the ground sobbing and whimpering.

ANGELUS: Get out.

Dru looks at Angelus, her face full of contrition.

DRU: Please forgive me. It won't ever happen again. I'll be good from now on. I promise.

Angelus picks up a wooden stake. Dru looks terrified.

ANGELUS: Get out.

He stares down at her coldly. She stands up and leaves, her head hanging down low.

Angelus's homing device had led Lindsey and the others to discover Cordy's address. Gwen decided to pay her a midnight visit. She easily made it through the building's electronic front doors and the electronic lock on Cordy's floor. From there, it was just some simple mechanical lock-picking. The penthouse was dark as Gwen entered the front hall. To her left were the servant's quarters. To her right, the kitchen. She saw someone walking from left to right. At first, she thought it was a child, because the person was only four feet tall. Gwen put her left hand over the person's mouth and picked it up before it could alert anyone. She took it into the kitchen, where she encountered another similarly-sized creature. Gwen put her right hand over his mouth and picked him up as well. She knocked their heads together, knocking them out. When they fell to the floor, Gwen shined her small flashlight on them. They weren't children. And while they were human-ish, they didn't appear to be completely human. They was something delicate, almost doll-like, about them. With this complication handled, Gwen went back to work. She searched the cabinets and closets for Angel's soul. She even searched the refrigerator and freezer. Gwen looked anywhere Cordy could have hidden the small vessel. Finding nothing, Gwen slipped into the giant main hall, in the center of which, coming out from the rear windows, was Cordy's bed, upon which she was sleeping. Gwen combed the room, even searching the drawers on the night stands which were on either side of the bed, only a few feet from the slumbering Cordy. She checked the bathroom, the walk-in closets, everywhere except the small servants' rooms where her other servants were sleeping. Gwen didn't think Cordy would entrust something so precious to the hired help. Finding nothing, she bound and gagged the two servants she had knocked unconscious and left.

MOLLY: I never thought I'd meet a woman who fights demons without Slayer power.

AMANDA: And makes a living doing it.

KENNEDY: Obviously all of us won't become Slayers. Unless we each die only a couple months after becoming a Slayer. Which means it would be a good thing if all of us didn't become Slayers. But we all have this training. We've all fought for our lives against powerful demons. It's nice to know there can be a future for us, even if we're not Chosen.

RONA: You'd want to do this, even if you didn't have to?

KENNEDY: It's like what Kelly said, which was basically the same thing Willow told me, which is more or less what I've noticed for myself: once you've seen this world, it's hard to turn away. Once you know there's this fight against evil, it's hard not to be a part of it.

XANDER: Why Wesley? What could she possibly see in him?

BUFFY: And the award for most abrupt segue goes to . . .

ANDREW: Like I said before, all of you have grievously underestimated this man.

In the kitchen, Dawn talks with Giles about the Reapers.

DAWN: Wesley and I agree that there are probably 20 of these Reapers.

GILES: And what led you to that conclusion?

DAWN: See this glyph? The one I circled?

GILES: Two arrows, side-by-side.

DAWN: Look at the arrowheads. They're bulging. There's no point. These are whistling arrows. On-nu.

GILES: Which symbolizes a tribe or band of warriors, but literally means a group of ten.

DAWN: Two groups of ten. Ten Reapers for each of the two Slayers. Now look at this other symbol. One whistling arrow crossed by two normal arrows.

GILES: Ten and two.

DAWN: That's what I thought. Wesley claims it's a reiteration of the other symbol, this one meaning two for the ten. Two Reapers for each of the ten Potential Slayers. And Wesley's right about that.

GILES: How would they know there would be ten Potentials?

DAWN: Maybe the 20 Reapers only appear when the number of Potentials have been winnowed down to ten. The Bringers start the job and the Reapers finish it. But I think the symbol has a double meaning, one which Wesley doesn't see. Ten and two, like you said. The two Slayers and the ten Potentials. Furthermore, the On-nu signifies ten warriors where one of the ten is clearly the leader. That would be Kennedy. So it fits exactly.

GILES: But that's merely a restating of what the symbols already tell us.

DAWN: That's what Wesley said. But I don't see why they'd be reduntant like that. There's only so much space on this guy's skull. The thing that did these carvings wouldn't waste valuable real estate by saying the same thing twice. I believe the number 12 has significance. They start off with 20 Reapers, and when they get to 12, something happens. It's a trigger, the same way having ten Potentials was a trigger.

GILES: A trigger for what?

DAWN: I don't know. But I think if we decode more of these symbols we'll find out.

Gwen enters the command center at the hotel. She picks up the two servants by the tops of their heads and lifts them off the ground.

GWEN: No soul jar. Not even in the wall safe. But I found these.

LORNE: Well color me impressed. Cordy has Elois! Take off the gags. They're perfectly harmless critters.

Gwen does this. The group looks over the two creatures. They have light blonde hair and green eyes. Their slim, four-foot tall bodies are proportioned like a fully-grown human body. They differ from humans in having extremely small noses with only one nostril, small, pointed elfin ears, and seven fingers — including two thumbs — on each hand.

WES: I didn't know Elois existed in this dimension.

GWEN: I figured we could get some information from em.

LORNE: No such luck. They only speak verbally to each other, and communicate telepathically with their owner.

FRED: Owner? Like pets?

LORNE: Except they clean up after themselves and everyone else.

WES: I've read that they were bred as a servile race. They're efficient, industrious, obedient —

LORNE: And expensive. Huge status simple.

GUNN: What do we do with them?

WES: They'll be sure to tell Cordelia about what they saw; about where we live.

FRED: But if Dru already knew, shouldn't Cordy?

LORNE: Plus, we do have that laudable policy of not killing harmless demons. Especially the adorable kind.

GWEN: You wanna let them go? They'll tell her I was there.

GUNN: Which might be a good thing.

GWEN: How do ya figure?

GUNN: People do stupid things when they're nervous and insecure. This could make her slip up.

Gwen opens the door and pats them on the back. They run out and return immediately to their owner.

The next morning Cordy laughs about what her Elois have told her. She opens up the freezer and pulls out a container of ice cream. She takes off the lid. There's no ice cream inside, but there is Angel's soul. She takes out the vessel and wipes the frost off the glass.

CORDY: Supertramp? Yes. Superthief? No.

The Elois pour Cordy a cup of tea and fluff up the cushions before she sits down on the living room couch. Two of them start giving her a pedicure. Two more give a manicure. Another one gives her a neck massage while the sixth one rubs her temples. Cordy looks depressed.

CORDY: You know what the sad thing is? I'm glad Gwen broke into my home. At least someone's paying attention to me. It's really true: the more powerful you are, the more isolated you become. And I'm like the most powerful being on earth. Buffy always whined about the loneliness of being a Slayer. At least she's weak enough that vampires can relate to her. Me, I have to wait for a demigod to come down. Or maybe an actual god. One of those really hot Greek Gods with a great body and no gross animal or demon parts. I have no one to share my life with. [the Elois look upset] I'm sorry. You guys are the best. But I need an equal. Okay, maybe just a bit weaker than me so he won't get all haughty and uppity. Someone who'll give me foot massages and ask me how my day went. I'd tell him I rained fire on Denver, and he'd give me advice, help me plan my next move. All this power, and I can't even make someone love me. [she pauses for a few seconds] What am I saying? Why have I turned into some pathetic loser who feels sorry for herself? I take a couple days off, and I'm losing my mind. I need to get back to work.

The Eloi who was massaging her neck grabs the phone, dials a number and puts the receiver up to Cordy's ears. The phone in the command center starts ringing. Fred picks it up.

FRED: Hello.

CORDY: Is the gang all there?

Fred's stunned into silence.

CORDY: Please don't act surprised. I can blot the sun out, but I can't find your phone number?

GUNN: Who is it?

CORDY: Is that Gunn's voice? But me on speaker Fred.

She does this.

CORDY: Who else is there?

FRED: Just us.

CORDY: Why isn't Wesley there? Still can't talk the boys into a threesome? We all know that's what Fred really wants. What I really want is to see the three of you in front of my building in exactly one hour. You three, and no one else. Pull a Slayer on me and you'll be extremely sorry. Be on time. I don't like to be kept waiting. And trust me, this will be worth the trip.

The Eloi hangs the phone up.

CORDY: It's time to remind everyone who the queen is.

This is the end of "Straight Outta Quor Toth." The story is continued in "Carry That Weight."


End file.
